Chapter Text
Dazai hated dogs. He had forsaken their undying loyalty. Dogs occupy a mundane existence that leads to nothing but an endless repetition of the same things day in and day out.
Yet as much as he hated it, he was one.
Running errands for the Port Mafia, doing the bidding of someone else, whilst his soul was sucked away by the blood he had spilt. A piece of him died with every person he
killed
murdered. At this point, it was easy to question: what was left of him? Who was Osamu Dazai?
Easy answer: a dog.
A dog that was endlessly chained to someone he yearned to break free from. At least that’s what he would like to believe. He actually enjoyed his work. It occupied his mind, gave him purpose.
A morbid obsession for completing the perfect suicide developed. He longed for the freedom that death would bring from this cycle, the endless repetition of mundanity. So perhaps that’s why he hated Chuuya so much.
Chuuya was full of life. So much so that it made Dazai nauseous.
Chuuya was created for a purpose. To harness the powers of a god. And yet, he spent his days running with a street gang, hands shoved in his pockets, seemingly lacking knowledge of the bigger picture. “Trying to make a difference”. What a joke. Maybe Dazai envied his freedom, or the fact that he cared for something; someone.
That’s where the disgusting loyalty of dogs comes into play. Chuuya was the Sheep’s ringleader, their Shepherd dog. Dazai’s closest relationships consisted of nothing but a front for the manipulation of his intellect and priceless ability. Receiving orders and going to any lengths to complete the goals set before him without a single question. After losing a bet to him, Dazai made sure that Chuuya would understand what it was like to be a dog. His dog.
It’s quite the vindictive thing to thrust upon someone you’ve only just met. Yet Chuuya took the bet with pride? God, his pride is one thing he’d never shed . Dazai was disgusted: Chuuya was so quick to place his freedom on the whims of his clearly rigged game. A truly deplorable creature. Who places that much confidence on their abilities? The price of their freedom… Only those who don’t know the shackles of loyalty would bet the whole house on their independence.
This abhorrence of nature, this thing, that according to every law of nature should not exist- nothing but a vessel, a tool, a feat that defies the laws of physics themselves- something that should be put down to preserve humanity: a dog.
It’s true what they say about dogs, the whole: “man’s best friend part”.
Dazai quickly learned the allure of his new pet. A companion quite unlike any other. The irony of it all is how well they worked together. The perfect foils of human nature, working together? They were a well-oiled machine, two halves making a whole. It was awful. Dazai was above this creature, surely. His utter loathing for the beast made him sick to his stomach.
But the worst of it all was how human Chuuya truly was.
Dazai had lost his humanity long ago, yearning for the reprieve of ending his own life in the most significant and memorable way. He only wanted to go out on his own accord so he could be remembered, and be seen as more than just the mafia’s dog. Leave an irreparable impact on the world. Yet deep down he knew he was replaceable; to an extent. The next Demon Prodigy was already lined up somewhere, waiting in the shadows. However, he couldn’t die just yet, he had his little pet to worry about. The sickening feeling of Chuuya’s unwavering loyalty and (reluctant) companionship was almost too much to bear.
How could this thing, even after being born without an ounce of humanity, stripped of any remnant in his soul- to become his plaything, be more human than himself?
He should’ve just let him die. Allowed Chuuya to succumb to his corrupted form. Let the might of an ancient being consume him. But he didn’t. Only HE was allowed to be self destructive. That was something reserved for humans. Chuuya was no man, no man that Dazai had ever known.
And that’s what made Chuuya so real.
For how could anyone call Dazai a human being?