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Luffy stared up at the large, blue stained glass panel that was encasing gallons upon gallons of water. Starry lights flickered slightly in the room, mimicking a clear night. Fish of all kinds swam just beyond the glass, some of which Luffy has never seen before. Medium sized sharks to small guppies, even large stingrays lived in harmony inside the large aquarium. Luffy’s mouth hung open, half believing he was in a dream right now.
“Judge said he wanted to recreate the All Blue…so I would give up on my ‘stupid dream’.” The disheveled shell of a man spoke next to him, his voice a hushed whisper among the sounds of the large tank. Luffy’s eyes shifted to the other as he scanned the man’s body. His cook, his friend, his Sanji stood next to him, covered head to toe in syrup rain. His once pristine and neat clothes were now soiled in dirt and blood. His previously styled blonde hair now matted and took on a brown color. His face was covered in bruises, one of which Luffy himself inflicted on him.
Sanji had brought Luffy to the underground aquarium after their talk in the rain, after Sanji had expressed his desire to come back to the Strawhats. After he said he wanted to come home. Without a second thought, Sanji led Luffy down a flight of stairs that lie inside the castle. Luffy wasn’t too sure how they managed to get in unnoticed, but he figured the lack of guards at the moment played a role.
Luffy now stood in silence with Sanji for a while, coming at a rare loss for words. Usually, Luffy would say the first thing that came to mind, unable to contain his thoughts, but this time was different. He thought about the next words to leave his mouth, thought about what would be appropriate to say at a time like this. Then he spoke.
“Your dream isn’t stupid, Sanji.” He said, now starring ahead at the oversized aquarium, studying the fish that swam around. Sanji made a noise, Luffy being unable to decipher whether it was a scoff or a groan. “Tell that to my lame excuse for a sperm donor.” Sanji replied, placing his hand on the glass where a tiny fish sat behind.
Luffy didn’t respond, how could he? He didn’t really understand what Sanji went through. He could sympathize with Sanji, he could fight for Sanji, but he couldn’t relate to him or his situation. Sure, Garp wanted Luffy and his brother to become Marines, but he never had the chance to force them and steal their dreams. His grandfather was no saint, but Judge sounded like the devil himself. “Did you know he even faked my own death? Locked me away in some tiny cell to rot while the whole nation thought I was dead” Sanji blurted out with a chuckle, as if he could hear Luffy’s thoughts.
Luffy shifted uncomfortably in place, never has he experienced this feeling before. It was more than just a depression brought on by Sanji’s troubling childhood, it was more like a secondhand sorrow. He didn’t want to feel sorry for him, he knew that’s not what Sanji wanted. Sanji never craved pity, he just needed to vent. To share the burden of his past with another, just like he did on the Baratie. “Sanji, I-”
“Did you want to see my favorite fish here?” Sanji interrupted, distracting Luffy from his train of thought completely. Luffy turned slightly to face Sanji, the other still looking straight ahead at the aqua glass.
“Yeah. Which one is it?” Luffy asked, stepping an inch closer to Sanji. The blonde pointed off to the side where a gold and blue fish swam, alone, with no other fish near it. The light reflected off its gold scales, giving it a regal shimmer, as if it were royalty. The fish moved aimlessly, avoiding any of the other creatures that shared the tank with it.
“This little guy is never seen in schools of other fish. They are alone for most of their lives. And if they are seen with another fish of their species, they’re extremely self-sacrificing. It’s a given that at least one of them will die…Judge says they’re most likely extinct. This is probably the last remaining one alive.” Sanji spoke flatly. He stared straight ahead at the fish, tracing around it with his index finger on the glass.
“Does it have a name?” Luffy asked, all his attention now on Sanji’s face, trying to figure out his facial expression. He was never good at that, calculating emotions through body language, but he can tell Sanji related to this fish. Felt its loneliness, internalized its (for a lack of a better word) suicidal nature. And Luffy hated that, which felt weird. Hating any part of Sanji felt unnatural, like he was going against the powers that be, because he loved all of Sanji. He loved him half, he loved him whole. Luffy loved Sanji with his whole heart, with every fiber of his being. Luffy loved Sanji.
“Hmm..” Sanji thought out loud, eyes moving to the side. “Y’know, in all the books I’ve read, none of them had this fish in them. Must be super rare.” Sanji said, finally turning his head to face Luffy.
Luffy smiled wide, happy he could finally see all of Sanji's face. No matter how beat up he looked, even if he was battered and bloodied, Luffy loved seeing Sanji’s face. “Why don’t we name it after you, Sanji?”
“And why would we do that? Do I look like a fish to you?” Sanji joked with a slight smile on his face. Luffy burst out laughing before covering his mouth, remembering they weren’t supposed to even be here at all.
“Well,” the straw hatted boy started, pointing towards the fish. “That fish is kinda like Sanji and the one near it is kinda like me.” Sanji gave Luffy a puzzled look before he turned back to the tank, noticing a new red and gold fish near his favorite one. He never saw that one before, was it new? “So there’s a Sanji fish and a Luffy fish.” Luffy said with an even wider smile. Luffy would die for Sanji and he knew Sanji would do the same, so these two fishes perfectly represented them.
Sanji sighed, before he gently placed his hand on Luffy’s hat. “Yeah, I guess they are us huh…fuck.” He said with a defeated look on his face. “What’s wrong, Sanji?”
“You probably hate me now huh? You can’t stand me…”
“What?” Luffy tilted his head to the side, genuinely confused. “Why would I hate you?” When Luffy really thought about it, how could anyone hate Sanji? How could Judge hate Sanji? Luffy may hate a part of Sanji’s demeanor, but that was normal. It’s normal to not want the love of your life to want to die for you. And Luffy hated that he hated it, but he couldn’t change it. And still, at the end of the day, Luffy could never hate Sanji. “Forget it.” Sanji said before turning away again, cutting himself off from Luffy.
Luffy puffed his cheeks out, annoyed at his cook, his Sanji for not being open. “Sanjiiii” he whined, grabbing at the taller one’s face to turn it back to him. “No more secrets. Answer me. Why would I hate you?” Sanji averted his eyes from Luffy, not wanting to have his soul laid bare for those large brown orbs. “I said forget it, Luffy.” he mumbled.
“Nah uh. We ain't leaving until you tell me.”
“You’re so stubborn. You can never take no for an answer, huh?” Sanji said, but his words held no malice. They sounded soft, like it was more of a compliment than a complaint. Luffy grinned at Sanji, still holding onto the other’s face. “Selfish and stubborn! Some even call me stupid shishishi.”
“You are stupid,” Sanji said, finally locking eyes with Luffy, a small smile on his face. His words sounded as soft as butter.
“Sanji…” Luffy whispered, eyes burning holes into Sanji’s facade. Sanji clicked his tongue.
“‘Cus I hurt you, Luffy. I kicked you with no remorse. I beat you until you couldn’t walk. Anyone would hate me, I would hate me…you should hate m-”
“Stop.” Luffy said firmly, his grip on Sanji’s face tightening slightly. “I don’t hate Sanji. I can’t ever hate Sanji. You could kill me and I couldn't hate you. Okay? I said you’re stuck with me, I meant that.” Sanji’s smile faded, but it wasn’t because he was unhappy with Luffy’s words, in fact he was ecstatic. Elated even. The problem was he still felt guilty. Sanji felt uneven, as if the amount of love he was receiving was not what he deserved. He felt-
“I feel like you should hate me, if even just a little. I can live with that Luffy.”
“No.”
“Luffy, please. Say you hate me. I want to feel normal. I don’t want to feel like…like them. Being praised for doing terrible things. We’re both human, it’s normal to hate someone a little after they’ve hurt you.” Sanji put one of his hands over Luffy, eyes still locked onto the other’s, tiny tears threatening to spill free.
“You didn’t hurt me though Sanji.”
“Can you stop lying to me?” Sanji started, his words sounding impossible even to himself, tears now cascading along the ridges of his face. “I beat you unconscious Luffy…”
“And it still didn’t hurt! It hurt you more than it would ever hurt me anyways.” Sanji didn’t respond to that, mostly because it was true. And how can he deny the truth while accusing someone else of being a liar? Luffy’s touch started to feel hot on his skin, like he was holy water and Sanji was nothing but a filthy sinner. Sanji whined, the uncomfortable silence starting to settle in his bones. Luffy caressed the blonde’s cheeks, as if he could tell Sanji was becoming uneasy. Luffy could always tell, was always in tune with Sanji’s emotions like his channels never switched from the other’s station.
“Even though it’s human nature or whatever to hate someone, even a little, I love Sanji a lot. I will forever love Sanji. More than I can ever hate anyone…like Crocodile. Or Caesar!” Luffy rambled on, gaining a chuckle out of Sanji. “So Sanji, can I please just keep loving you?”
“If I say no, you would do it anyways…”
“You know me so well, shishishi.” Luffy grinned, wide and bright. Sanji moved his hands to Luffy’s shoulders and softened his gaze, causing the younger one to blush lightly. “Yes, you can keep loving me, but only if I can keep loving you.”
Luffy’s face got redder, his eyes shifting to the side, unable to keep up the staring contest they had going on. He giggled nervously, of course he knew Sanji loved him. Knowing was one thing, but the man of his affections saying it was another. Luffy didn’t speak, he merely nodded enthusiastically with a goofy smile on his face. Sanji placed a kiss on Luffy’s hat before breaking away from his grasp. “Okay shitty captain,” his words felt natural as he spoke them. As natural as it was to love Luffy. “Let’s go before the guards find you.”
“Okay Sanji!”