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Win’s body is thrumming with anger. Their manager insists that adding a new singer will take off some of the burden from Gun and shoot them up to being the number one band in Thailand.
Win doesn’t like this idea or those flimsy excuses.
Yes, he would like for Gun to finally have a break, especially during their performances, but to add a new random stranger? It was out of the question for him.
Chinzhilla isn’t just some mediocre band he joined during his adulthood. This is his family, the only one he’s known since high school. To have some random stranger intrude into his family is not what he wants.
He’ll do anything to stop some random guy from joining.
“Okay guys, we will be meeting in two hours to introduce you to the guy the company believes would be a good pick. It’s a requirement to be there, Win, so don’t try and weasel your way out of it.”
Win scoffs; he would never try to do that. “I know what you’re thinking, Win, and you know that’s not true.”
“I’ll be there.” He says hoping his disapproval and disappointment in this decision is evident through his voice. "Okay, you guys are free to go, but be back on time or there will be consequences.” The group stares blankly at their manager. “Understand?” she says firmer.
“Yes. Phi Lei.” She nods, walking away, leaving them to their own devices. "Guys, we cannot seriously be contemplating this.” Win breaks the silence.
“Win, think about it? It will be good if we can get more exposure by adding a known singer, and Gun will have more rest, and you don’t have to handle all guitar parts.” Win scoffs at the last comment, “You think I want to give up my parts to a random person?”
“It could do you some good.” Phat says.
“What are you trying to say, Phat?" Win is about to burst from anger.
“Nothing.” “Then keep your mouth shut.”
"Wow, okay, Win you’re blowing this way out of proportion. It’s going to be okay if we add someone.” Gun tries to calm him down, which just further feeds into his anger.
“Why am I the only one who fucking cares about this group? You’re acting like this whole group wasn’t just us for five years of our lives. And now they want to add someone else? It’s not right!”
"Win, there’s something bothering you, isn’t there?”
“No, why would you say that?”
“You’re acting crazy.” Por says. “You guys are crazy. I’m out of here.” Win grabs his guitar and stomps out of the room. He knows he’s acting out; why does no one seem to care?
He grabs some water before exiting the company to take a walk. He has two hours to be able to figure out how to convince the others that a random stranger is not what they need.
But everyone already seems on board, so what does he even get to say? It seems like no one cares for his opinion. Is Win and his feelings so insignificant to the others that they don’t want to even try to understand him?
It wouldn’t be the first time the other boys treat him like he’s nothing or his feelings are invalid. When they talk amongst themselves and leave him out in the conversation, the dinner they would always go out to without asking Win if he wanted to come, their dorm was silent every time he came home from a solo schedule.
Maybe they didn’t want Win in their band anymore and were quick to accept having a new member that could play the guitar and sing.
It would be easier on Gun, and he would replace Win’s spot. A two for one. Was Win that replaceable for them? Maybe they had never cared for Win like he cared for them.
They all had other friends to be with outside of their group. Win didn’t have that.
Had they grown apart from Win because he was annoying and filled with so much rage? He didn’t mean to be so angry all the time. He wasn't; they just didn’t understand how easy it was for his emotions to change from one tiny thing to another.
Was he going to lose his family? His last family he had.
Win’s felt the prickling from behind his eyes and shut them. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t let some random stranger make him feel like this.
His phone rang, shaking him out of his cloud of emotions. “Hello,” he choked out. “Win, get back here; you have 10 minutes.”
"Okay, Phi Lei.” He hung up the phone and titled his head back. Making sure no tears escaped his traitorous eyes. Not even his manager seemed to care for him. Was Win the problem?
He changed the pace of his walk faster on his way to the company. He hadn’t noticed he hadn’t made it as far as he thought, which he was grateful for now.
Walking into the company used to make him happy; it would fill his body with thrumming joy, wishing to escape. Now it filled him with dread, knowing maybe he doesn’t have as much time as he thought with his so-called best friends.
"Oh, perfect Win you’re right on time.” His manager motions for him to enter the secluded room. He’s never felt so ramped up on emotions until now.
“Okay guys, this right here is Sound Saran; he will be helping Gun with vocals and Win with guitar. He was an actor prior to this, so he has a solid fan base, which will hopefully transfer over to his music career. I hope you guys will treat him with kindness and open arms. If there are any problems, he can and will report them to me, isn’t that right, Sound?” The silver-haired boy nods; his head is held up high.
He’s confident in himself; Win already doesn’t like him even more.
The rest of his members immediately introduce themselves; they mingle and laugh as if he’s been part of their group for the entirety of their career. Gun jokes with him, and they play fight. Win is seething as he watches this display. He can’t accept this.
He turns around, grabbing his stuff, and leaves without saying goodbye to any of them. Not that anyone would notice as they’re too preoccupied with the new member. Win will find out something about this guy. He’s an actor; he’s bound to have some dirty secret his company has tried to hide.
Sure, this might seem like overkill to a normal person, but Win knows he isn’t normal, and he’s not ashamed of that. Okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed, but he wouldn’t actually admit to that.
He’s ready to go home and just scroll and scroll until he can find what he’s looking for. “Win,” he hears his name called out from behind him. He turns around to Sound, staring right at him.
God, what does he want? Win thinks.
“Do you not like me?” He asks. "Wow, glad you could figure that out.” He barks out a laugh. The other boys face twists with disbelief. “I haven’t even done anything to you.”
“You existing is enough for me to not like you.” Win walks away from the conversation; he’s had enough of seeing the other. Besides the obvious reasons why he dislikes Sound, even his face is enough to piss him off. What a stupid, pretty face. Wait what? No, he wasn’t going to think about that.
Getting home to an empty apartment and not a dorm has never felt so gut wrenching. After spending hours of his day with his band members, he loves to come home to an empty apartment, but now that they want to slowly get rid of him, it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
Walking in, he sees his framed photo of all eight of them. It was after their competition that landed them with their company now. Gun was on Win’s back, smiling brightly, while Tinn stared at them with a frown pulling at his face. Por was seated on Tiw’s lap, leaning back and smiling. Phat and Yo held up their award while Jorn posed at the bottom. That was his family; he didn’t want to add someone. He wanted them to stay like this.
He sighed, dropping his keys in the homemade plate that Por had made during his pottery phase. Everything in his house reminded him of the family he was losing. The prickling feeling from his eyes flared up as he tossed his head back to lean against the door. Why was this happening to him?
Right, he had to clear his head now and find information to get rid of the problem. Surely it couldn’t be too hard?
Oh, Win was so wrong. It has been an hour since he opened up his laptop and typed in Sound Saran. He’s been through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, any app you could think of, and he hasn’t found anything. Maybe Sound was a good person? Right, like if he would believe that. No one is ever completely innocent.
His phone rings, blaring the obnoxious ring tone Gun had added. He sighs, grabbing it and answering without checking the caller ID.
“Hello,” he says. “Do you hate yourself, Win?”
“What?” he questions. “Is that why you dislike someone who’s better than you joining your band?” Win scoffs, “Let me guess from that annoying voice this is Sound.”
“You would be correct.”
“What do you gain from this asshole?”
“Hearing your voice as you get angry. It’s kind of attractive, don’t you think?” Win pulls the phone away from his ear in disbelief at what he just heard. “Are you sick? There’s actually something wrong with you, isn’t there?”
“I don’t think so. Maybe you have an issue with me because you hate that I'm better and pretty.”
"Hah, who cares about your stupid face?”
“I think you do. But let’s not get into that, or it would hurt your feelings too.” The phone call ends, letting the beep ring in Win’s ears. What the hell just happened? Is this some type of mental trick from Sound?
His mind fills with how Sound called his angry voice attractive. He must be joking, right?
Win continues to scroll through the Google search; now he really has a reason to find dirt on this guy.
Just as he’s about to give up for the night, a title on a reddit page catches his eyes The Truth of Sound Saran. He holds back the laughter that forms. Opening up the link, everything he had wished for was right here.
Sound Saran was actually a bully in middle and high school. Who would have thought? As he scrolls through the thread, his eyes stop to stare at the young Sound; he looks much like he does right now. He’s still got the same silver hair, those eyes that stare straight into your soul, not a smile in sight, and it honestly is freaking him out to stare at the other right now.
He opens up his phone to save this link in his notes app to break the news about this to his manager and friends. A part of him really wants to call the other back to taunt him, but he holds himself back. It would be much more satisfying to see the look on Sound’s face when he exposed him in front of everyone.
The walk to work wouldn’t feel so bad anymore. Admittedly, this is doing a lot. He could try and get to know the guy first, but who really wants that? Unless Gun came begging him to get along, he wouldn’t even attempt to.
His phone rings again, but this time he does look at the caller ID. “Gun, what do you need?”
“Win, please. Please try to get along with Sound. We really need this. I know you’re looking for dirt on him because that’s the type of person you are, but please just try.” The other begged.
Is Gun supernatural? How the hell did he just know he wasn’t going to try unless begged to? He wants to fight it, but he’s always been a bit weak towards the others pleading. "Fine, I'll go through two dinners. That’s it.”
He hangs up hearing the small cheers Gun is throwing in the background while Tinn laughs. He really is happy for his friend and maybe just a bit jealous that he doesn’t have that.
𖦹
It’s the day that Win has been dreading. One of the two dinners he had agreed on. He can’t deny there’s a little part of him that is excited. It’s been awhile since all of them had a good dinner that wasn’t something fast and quick after practice.
And the chance that he could get to make fun of and hate on Sound right in front of the guy made it even more appealing.
He’s staring at himself in his full-length mirror. There’s no denying he looks attractive. He’s wearing his favorite jeans that fit him to the t, a white undershirt that is lower than a usual muscle shirt, and a blue and purple flannel on top with a tight chain choker. His hair is styled in a two-block haircut, one of his favorites, and he’s hoping that everyone thinks he looks just as good. Not that he wants anyone specific to say that. Not at all.
His phone rings, and he knows it’s Gun calling for him that he’s outside. declining the call, he types a quick “omw” message and grabs his bag to leave. As he walks out the door, he collides into someone. "Ah, sorry,” he says. His eyes finally focus on the figure in front of him, and just his luck, it’s Sound. “What are you doing here?” he snaps.
“I live here dipshit.”
Of course he does because he doesn’t already have enough problems. “You look good, Win. Who’d you clean up for?”
“No one.”
“Sure it wasn’t for me?” He teases. Win watches as he looks him up and down and even bites at his lip. It pisses him off how good Sound looks when he does that. “Why would I care about you?”
“Right, you gonna follow me?”
“Don’t really have a choice, do I.” Sound laughs that stupid, pretty laugh as they start walking. He just hopes they don’t have to sit together in the car, or that will be the end of him.
"Sorry, Win, you guys are the last two, so you have to be in the back together.” Gun says from his seat on the passenger side. Just his luck again. Why is the world against him seriously? He scoffs and takes his seat in the back.
Sound slides right next to him, leaving no space between them. He can feel their thighs touching and its making the car too hot for his comfort. Sound turns to him and raises an eyebrow. He leans in. “Does it make you uncomfortable?” he whispers in Win’s ear. He stops himself from jumping at the way the other presses a small kiss at his neck. What is wrong with this guy. He can’t lie and says it doesn’t make him a little attracted to him. The confidence is both annoying and hot.
God this cannot be happening to him.
He stared out the window, trying to ignore the tingling coming from their thighs touching and the way he thinks about Sound’s lips in more ways than one.
Is this what gay panicking feels like? He really can’t do this Sound is supposed to be his enemy. Not whatever he’s fantasizing about.
The car stops, and he’s the first one out of there. The fresh air hits him immediately, and he feels like he can breathe again without Sound teasing him.
“You okay, Win?” Gun asks. He nods, knowing he won’t be able to speak a proper sentence. He hears Sound muffle a laugh again. God, he hates that guy.
Once inside the restaurant, Win has some hope he’ll be seated next to Por or someone else, as only Gun brought his boyfriend. Alas, he is lucky and gets to sit next to Phat. The conversation is nice and slow as they order their food and wait. He’s mostly watching how Gun and Tinn interact with Sound. It’s weird you’d think Tinn and him would have been friends forever. And he rarely knew people in high school.
As he continues to watch, he feels someone start to shuffle underneath the table. He can feel how their shoe suddenly reaches the top of his own. His eyes widen as the same foot runs up and down his calf. Sound is staring at him with the look of innocence, but he knows it’s him. He rolls his eyes and leans his feet all the way to the back. But it doesn’t deter the other boy as he does it again. He makes the mistake of looking up, and Sound winks at him.
Something in him snaps; he gets up and drags Sound out of his seat. The rest of their friends jump up, but Sound tells them it’s okay.
They don’t exchange a word until they make it outside. “What is your fucking problem? First you come into my company, join my band, take my friends, and now you want to play around with me. No. Fuck no. And don't even get me started on you being a fucking bully.” He stops speaking and catches his breath. No one has ever made him act out like this before.
“My problem is you Win. I didn’t do shit to you, and you just automatically decided to hate me with all your heart and soul when all I was happy about was finally being in a band like I always wished for with one of the biggest crushes of my life. So fuck you for being such an asshole. Also, if you would even try to look, you would know I wasn't the damn bully; I WAS THE ONE BEING BULLIED.” Sound shouted at the end of his sentence.
Win’s eyes widened. Did he just hear that right?
Sound is turning around and something in him makes him shoot his hand out to hold him in place. “Wait,” he says. Sound turns back around, and the moonlight shines on his face, showing his teary eyes. His face is scrunched up, and he looks sad. It’s nothing like that confident face he always wears.
Wow that hurt Win a lot more than he thought it would.
The silence stretches before Win looks down at the floor in shame. He starts speaking, holding back his own feelings from turning into tears. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so mean. I just didn’t like the idea of a stranger joining my band because they’re my family. They’re all I've ever had.” He feels ashamed about admitting that he is actually alone in his life.
“I wasn’t trying to steal your family Win. I wanted to be apart of it. With all of you. I didn’t want to steal your spot or anything either.” Sound trails off at the end; his voice is choked up from his own feelings.
Oh.
That made him feel like shit. He really was a horrible person, wasn’t he? “I-Sound.”
"No, I don’t want to hear it. Let me go." Sound tugs on his arm, trying to escape from his hold. "No, just listen to me. I think you’re a good person and I hate it. I hate that and the fact that you’re stupidly attractive makes it worse.”
“You think I'm attractive?” Sound says surprise lacing his voice. “Is that what you got from that?” He asks. Win’s eyebrow raises at how ridiculous he is. “Yes.”
“You’re insane.” He laughs. “Let me take you on a date.” Sound pleads.
“Alright, you got a week to make me fall for you.” Sound tries to hide his joy, but Win can see it. Maybe his life won't be so lonesome anymore.