Chapter Text
“Here. You’ll need it.”
Eris blinked at Aurae as his wife pressed a mug of coffee into his right hand mere moments after he stepped into what had to be the most disordered, hectic kitchen in existence. It was as if he had walked into the middle of a chef’s nightmare.
His and Aurae’s eldest daughter and one of her younger cousins were in the thick of battle involving a carton of eggs, Zoreia arguing with Seryn over how to crack the eggs properly. Both of them seemed to have strong opinions. Dark-haired, serious-looking Rhodes was mixing ungodly amounts of blueberries into a bowl of chunky batter that smelled like pancakes and brownies. Beside him, his little sister Fia, brown curly hair tied up in a very messy bun, was adding even more chocolate chips. Phoebe, Eris’ younger daughter and Zoreia’s twin, was feeding half-burnt bacon to Selma, one of his and Aurae’s dogs. A half cup of sugar spilt on the counter as Boyd threw his paws on the counter and nudged the measuring cups with his nose. Eris snapped his fingers. Boyd got down and trotted over to him, sitting down by his side.
Eris’ jaw twitched as a cookie cutter went sailing over the kitchen counter. He snatched it out of the air before it could hit Aurae in the head. It wouldn’t have hurt her, but still…
He bent to kiss Aurae as a silent thank you for the coffee, but she was on the move, reaching for a spoon covered in pancake batter as Cersi jabbed it at Nyx. The dark-haired imp smirked at his thwarted younger cousin and blew a quick breath into a pile of flour, getting it all over Cece’s pajamas and her red curls. The shrill sound she made was half-fury and half-dismay. Aurae had to pluck Cersi off the stool as she made a vicious grab for a fistful of Nyx’s black hair.
Frowning, Eris found the orchestrator of this chaos. Or orchestrators. Ruari was scrambling eggs over at the stovetop, a Santa hat sitting cockeyed on his head. He grinned at Izzy, his newlywed wife, as she wandered by him literally juggling three oranges, an apple, and a pear, heading toward a cutting board in the corner. They wore matching reindeer onesies.
Over everything, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra played through a Bluetooth speaker.
Eris sipped at his coffee. The Baileys in it had him tossing an appreciative glance at Aurae, who smirked back. He had woken up when she moved from their bed, but she had kissed his temple and told him to go back to sleep. He hadn’t imagined that she was leaving their warm bed to join…this. Most likely she had come in here to start a pot of coffee, realized that Ruari and Izzy were making a mess with the kids, and stayed on to observe. The other two wouldn’t let any of the children get hurt, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t let them nearly destroy the rental’s kitchen. As the thought of their cleaning fee crossed his mind, a goopy bit of egg fell from the ceiling and plopped onto the counter.
“Three days,” Aurae reminded as she turned back toward him, still trying to get flour out of Cersi’s hair.
Right, three days and then they could make their escape from this family togetherness experiment. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his family, he did, more than most people would ever guess, but it wasn’t just his family. His family had somehow become inextricably entangled with Rhysand Antares’ family, to the point his mother and her husband Helion had suggested they all try to have a post-Christmas weekend vacation together since many of their Christmas celebrations would overlap. This was because Lucien had married Elain, who was Rhysand’s wife’s sister, and Gwyn had married Azriel, Rhysand’s adopted brother, and Ruari had the audacity to marry Rhysand’s younger sister that year’s Halloween, which ultimately meant that Eris was never going to be able to escape from the white collar crime lord and art dealer, no matter how badly he wanted to do so.
Helion had rented the house for all of them, a two-story monster of a cabin that had a bedrooms for everyone, including a bunkroom for the children. Ruari and Izzy must have recruited the children from the bunkroom.
Some of Eris’ brothers had bowed out, saying that they had other plans, and Finnien was overseas so he wasn’t able to make it even if he had wanted to come. Personally, Eris didn’t mind that Tiernan, Eoin, and Kress couldn’t make it, for myriad reasons. He wouldn’t have minded seeing Finn, though. With the extra rooms available, Nesta and Cassian had joined them. Rhysand’s cousin Mor and Nesta and Gwyn’s friend Emerie had taken off on a Christmas cruise.
Must be nice.
“Three days for what?” Ruari asked, looking back over his shoulder. When he spotted Eris, he pointed the spatula at him. “Get thee hence, out of the kitchen!”
“Hi, Dad!” Zoreia said. Phoebe smiled at him.
Eris offered his girls a small smile and looked meaningfully at Aurae, who hadn’t been kicked out of the kitchen.
Ruari turned back to the stove. “Aurae’s different.”
“Meaning he’s scared of her,” Izzy said, fruit and cutting board left behind for the moment.
Ruari grabbed her and hauled her against his side, nipping at her ear. “I am not.”
“Everyone else awake has been banished to the living room,” Izzy said to Eris. She leaned her head away from Ruari, pushing against his chest. “But Aurae gets to stay—”
“I’m supervising,” Aurae said.
“I’ll also supervise,” Eris said. He took another sip of his coffee. “In an assistant position, out of an abundance of caution.”
“No, no, it’s a one-person position,” Ruari said, “Aurae submitted an application, we interviewed her, hired her, spot’s filled. Thanks for your interest.”
“Then I’ll do a hostile takeover of your business.”
“Eh, you’ve been there, done that, haven’t you?” Ruari said with a dangerous grin.
Eris kept his expression cool as he eyed his mouthy second youngest brother. Before he could say anything, a gasp made him look to the doorway.
Elain put one hand on the doorjamb, her doe eyes wide and horrified at the mess in the kitchen. She put her other hand on her rounded stomach. Everyone stopped what they were doing. The music faded out for a moment, leading into the next song. Behind her, Lucien stopped, his mouth falling open. He surveyed the destruction, squeezed Elain’s shoulder, threw a malicious smirk in Ruari’s direction, and leaned against the doorway. He was clearly supporting his wife and her pregnancy rage.
“What. Are. You. Doing.”
“Good morning, Elain!” Ruari said, “Scrambled, sunnyside up, boiled? How do you want your eggs?”
“Who is cleaning up this mess? What all did you use? Ruari Vanserra! Did you waste all the eggs? Is that the brownie mix in the pancake batter?! That was for tonight!” Elain moved into the kitchen like a tornado funneling down to the earth. Her mouth straightened into a furious line when she saw her daughter. “Why is Cersi covered in flour? Nyx, Izzy, no, don’t you dare try to sneak out.”
“There’s no escape,” Lucien said. As Izzy looked at him pleadingly from the opposite doorway, Nyx half-hiding behind her, he shook his head. “Nope, not going to work. I’m immune to puppy dog eyes.”
“Well, since I’ve been instructed to leave, seeing how I have nothing to do with this, I’ll do just that,” Eris said, reaching for Aurae's wrist in an attempt to save her too. The girls had sided with their uncle and should probably help clean up as a reminder as to why that was a bad idea.
“You will not if you want breakfast anytime soon,” Elain hissed. Then she smiled pleasantly, and Eris wondered if she was plotting murder. “I’m so glad we’re all staying to clean up this kitchen.”
Eris sighed. He drained half of his remaining coffee and then passed it to Aurae as she held out of her hand.
A shadow appeared behind Lucien, hesitating in the hallway. Eris cleared his throat as the shadowy figure began to retreat after sizing up the kitchen. “Rhys, good of you to join us, we’re just getting ready to make our real breakfast.”
“I’m not all that great at cooking, I'm much more useful elsewhere,” he said smoothly.
“But you can use a broom,” Izzy said, throwing her brother under the proverbial bus.
Rhysand stepped up beside Lucien and raised his eyebrows at her and his son. “What the hell happened to you two?”
“No bad words,” Cersi scolded. He smiled a little at her.
“I'm sorry, Cersi. It looks like you have enough helping hands, Elain...” Rhysand said, taking one step back.
“We could always use more,” Lucien said, blocking him. He gave Rhysand a friendly push toward the kitchen. “Especially from someone who’s apparently good with a broom. Who knew?”
Rhysand shot Eris an accusatory scowl instead of placing the blame with his own sister.
Eris ignored him. He took the coffee mug back from Aurae, this time securing a kiss before joining in the cleaning efforts.
Of course, all of their ties also meant Rhysand was stuck with him as well. Which could be entertaining at times like this.