Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The cold winter air made Caesar cough. His lungs were on fire, and his thoughts were as thick as molasses and twice as incomprehensible. He was sick and he knew it, but he hadn’t saved up enough money to see a doctor yet. Not many people carried medical supplies openly in the slums of Rome, and even if they did, he wasn’t in a state to rob anyone.

The youth slipped on a hidden patch of ice, crashing against a wall as he let out a weak cry of pain. It was cold, way too cold. He couldn’t even find a cranny to crawl into to preserve his body heat, and at this rate, he wouldn’t be able to move. He slumped down against the wall onto the concrete ground, curling in on himself.

He was reminded of his youngest sister, who had a fever and couldn’t move an inch. Poor Julia cried out every time she moved, like every twitch of his muscles caused her pain. One of the neighbours took her into their home, claiming they had enough money for her medicine. But Caesar had been taken away to the orphanage before he could learn if she survived it.

He let out a weak laugh as he thought of his siblings. Were they still living? Or were they dead, like he’d ought to be? They still had their youth and future. He didn’t. He threw it away long ago.

And he was going to die. He wasn’t stupid.

His hands brushed against the ground, clearing away the snow around him. If he was going to freeze to death or die of illness, he didn’t want to be completely soaking wet when he did. Having to live in freezing, dirty clothes was already bad enough.

But his hand touched something odd.

Caesar grabbed the strange object and held it up to get a better look at it. It was a nutcracker, haphazardly discarded on the ground. “A German toy,” he muttered. His country’s leader was getting friendlier with the Germans lately, but it surprised him that this was an import. Or was this dropped by a mugged tourist?

Either way, there was one glaring flaw with it: the jaw was broken. It wouldn’t be able to crack any nuts anymore.

The delinquent sighed and tossed it away from him. “Just some trash. Why’d I get my hopes up…” he grumbled. He adjusted his coat around himself as a breeze blew against his skin. Oddly enough, he didn’t feel all too cold.

Caesar looked up at the sky, the tears in his eyes burning an ice-cold trail against his skin. The night was cloudless, and bright stars twinkled above him. He had just enough time to think about how beautiful the sky looked tonight before his eyes slipped closed.

His eyes flew open again as he heard a crash around the corner of the street. His alarm outweighed the screaming of his muscles as he pulled himself to his feet against the wall. He hoped it wasn’t the blackshirts again. At least he could bribe the mafia to leave him alone in a pinch, but he wouldn’t be able to run from anyone else.

Caesar stared in the direction the noise came from, holding onto the wall as he held his breath. From the dim glow of the streetlight, he could see a triad of shadows growing on the wall. Worse yet, the shadows didn’t look human in the slightest. The sound of something scratching against stone only added to his fears.

He took a step backwards, and then another. His legs felt like they were going to crumble underneath him. But he couldn’t take his eyes off the shadows as they grew taller, as the beings drew closer.

And then, from around the corner, they emerged.

A large creature, a rat with unnaturally long limbs and teeth, stalked out from around the corner. The rat was a dark shade of purple, and its beady eyes were red. It turned and noticed Caesar, who took another step back. From around the corner, a white rat and a light brown rat crept out to join their leader.

Caesar didn’t need more convincing than that to start running. All worries over the state of his body were discarded as he blindly ran down the alleyways he’d grown familiar with. The sound of their claws scratching against concrete told him that they were giving chase, and were slowly gaining on him too.

As he tried to round a corner, he slipped and fell hard onto the ground. He gritted his teeth as he scrambled down the narrow alleyway, knowing that his fall had given the rats more chances to catch up to him. He kept running until he skidded to a halt, his blood running cold.

A dead end.

His hand flew to his belt and pulled out his wrench, and he turned around to see the purple rat entering the alleyway. The other two rats were too small to enter. Caesar ran forward and raised his wrench to strike a blow, only for it to be knocked out of his hand from a single slash of the rat’s claws. He heard a clang as the wrench hit the wall and landed somewhere he couldn’t see.

 The delinquent backed up as his panicked heart sped up. The rat didn’t bother hurrying, it knew when its prey was cornered.

This wasn’t how Caesar thought he’d die, being mauled and eaten by a giant unnatural rat. But freezing to death wasn’t a good way to go either. It wasn’t like he had anything going for him in life, but he didn’t want to die like this either!

He backed up until he felt the cold brick of the wall press against his back. He was hardly breathing as he stared at the giant rat, towering above him. Slipping down the wall, he grit his teeth and closed his eyes, waiting for the rat to finally deal the killing blow and end his life.

Suddenly, the sound of scratching stopped. Caesar kept his eyes closed, thinking that the rat was just looking for the perfect angle to bite him. All he heard was a disgusting gurgle.

Caesar opened his eyes and could barely hold back a gasp at what he saw. The rat was looming above him, but the blade of a silver sword was sticking out through its mouth. The sword was yanked out of the back of the rat’s head, and the creature let out another death gurgle as it fell onto its side.

Standing behind the rat was a brunette man who looked around his age. He wore a green military suit shirt, but the golden trim, straps, and tassels made him seem like more than just a regular soldier. Hell, this man wasn’t dressed like common soldiers of these times. He looked more like a royal guard from who-knows-where.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked, looking Caesar over. He let out a sigh of relief when he noticed that the rat hadn’t injured him. “Jeez, that was a close one. Looks like I’ve done it again!”

He sheathed his silver sword, snickering to himself as he looked at the giant rat. He prodded it with his foot to make sure he was dead. Caesar wondered how this man managed to get behind the rat without him noticing. Were his senses getting duller? Not only that, but he couldn’t help but think that he’d seen this man before.

“Who the hell are you?” he bluntly questioned, grabbing the man’s attention. The brunette’s smile faded.

“…Ah, well, I guess it makes sense you don’t recognize me. I guess you only saw me for a moment. You didn’t have to throw me like that, you know…” he drawled in a way that got on Caesar’s nerves. His cocky smile returned as he brushed the falling snow from his hair. “The name’s Joseph Joestar. But you can call me Jojo! Nice to meetcha!”

“Throw you…?” Caesar’s eyes squinted in concentration before he remembered what happened before he passed out. “Wait…that German toy. You’re that toy?”

“Well, duh. No one else around here looks as dashing as me,” he joked, striking a dramatic pose. Caesar rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the wall to shove the blabbermouth in front of him.

His weakened state only felt like the gentlest nudge to the nutcracker, but he reacted like it personally offended his bloodline. “Come on, what gives?! I just saved your life, you know!” he whined.

“Do you usually act like a half-assed brat?” Caesar grumbled. He was far too worn-out for this nonsense.

His exhaustion must’ve shown in his eyes because Joseph quieted down, studying his face. “You know,” he began, “I never caught your name.”

“I didn’t throw it,” the blonde replied, trying to push past the other man. He just wanted to leave this stupid alleyway and never look at that dead rat again.

A half-melted patch of snow caught him off-guard, and Caesar slipped forward again with a yelp. He hated winters in the slums, but he hated his shoddy boots more.

Before he could hit the ground, a pair of arms caught him and pulled him upright. “Hey, watch your step. It looks icy,” he chuckled, holding Caesar closer to his chest.

To his own surprise, he didn’t pull away. Any disdain he might’ve had for this guy’s personality was outweighed by how warm and comforting his body was. As if compelled by his own body, Caesar closed his eyes and let himself lean against Joseph’s chest like it was a luxury. It had been a long time since he’d felt anything so warm or soft under his hands.

“Uh, helloooo? Earth to what’s-your-name?” Joseph’s voice cut through his haze, shocking him back to awareness. He didn’t know how long he had been there, but it was too long for him.

The blonde pushed himself back upright and out of his arms. “It’s Caesar,” he spat, making his way towards the entrance of the narrow alleyway. Joseph followed him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement on his face.

“Caesar, eh? No last name?” he inquired.

A spark of something boiled in Caesar’s stomach, the way it always did whenever his family name was brought up. He threw it away long ago, and anyone who dared question it would meet the ever-burning anger deep in his soul. He expected it to be consuming him, coursing through his veins to be used as a weapon against this annoying brat-

-but nothing came.

Was it because he was cold and tired? The normal anger he felt was only a barely-burning anger in his heart, hardly enough to come to the surface. Without it, all he felt in the face of this question was just peacefulness. At the very least, he expected to feel numb, but being at peace was something he hadn’t experienced in a long, long time now.

Even so, he answered Joseph’s question with a “I don’t have one,” just as he always had.

“Oh. Alright then,” Joseph shrugged, moving on. “Let’s get out of this hellhole, shall we? I know a good place, far away from here!”

“It better be somewhat warm,” Caesar sighed, resigning himself to be dragged around by this man. He didn’t think he’d be able to shake him if he tried. He’d already reached a low in life, what was another one?

Joseph took his hand and began dragging him out of the narrow alleyway. When Caesar gave him a questioning look, Joseph turned back and called back, “We don’t need you slipping again!”

Caesar wondered if wearing a shit-eating grin was his default expression at this point. He would’ve tried kicking him if he weren’t being dragged along.

Leaving the alleyway treated Caesar to a shocking sight. In front of him were the other two rats, the ones that were too large to follow their leader. The light brown rat had been beheaded, while the white rat laid disembowelled next to it. Joseph looked nonchalant about stepping around them, seemingly proud of his work.

“How…?” Caesar breathed. All he could do was run away from the monstrous creatures, while Joseph had slain the three of them by himself.

“Hm? Well, you gave me a bit of help, actually,” the nutcracker explained. Caesar’s eyes widened as he continued, “I was trying to sneak up on them all quiet-like, and then a loud clanging noise got their attention. I don’t know what you were doing in there, but the noise distracted these two for long enough for me to ambush them.”

The clanging noise - his wrench being swatted away. By trying and failing to defend himself, he gave Joseph the means to save him quicker. A wave of dizziness nearly washed over him as the memories of the encounter threatened to rear their head, but he blinked them away and forced himself to focus on only Joseph.

“L-Let’s just get going already,” he huffed as he tugged on the hand grabbing his own.

“Right, right. Can’t have you in the cold for too long,” Joseph agreed. “If those rats had waited any longer, they would’ve had to let you thaw before they could take a bite.”

Leave it to this moron to joke about almost getting eaten by rats!

“Stai zitto,” Caesar groaned. He didn’t know if he was going to lose his mind because of this man, or if he’d already lost it by letting himself go with him.

…Wait, when did he start speaking so familiarly with this man? Normally, Caesar would be more than wary around eccentric strangers, those people were usually part of the mafia. But he trusted Joseph without a second thought…what was going on?

Joseph resumed his self-appointed task of dragging Caesar down the streets, guiding him along as if he knew the place by heart. Caesar watched them pass by piles of garbage, debris, the occasional shelter made from whatever the hell was around, and iced clotheslines. When they passed by a window though, his reflection made his breath catch in his throat.

He didn’t look like himself. At least, not the “him” that he remembered. The person in the reflection was taller and had shorter, neater hair. He had no semblance of dirt or filth on him, and his simple clothing was a far cry from the rags he was wearing. The man he saw radiated elegance and dignity in his posture; he was the kind of person the delinquent would never be.

Caesar looked down at himself in dejection, and he nearly stopped in his tracks. The clothes in the reflection were the clothes on him now. He reached up with his free hand and felt his hair, shorter and neater under his hand. The man in the reflection was the man he was now. But it wasn’t possible. Caesar just couldn’t understand it.

Did he lose his memory? His mind and reason were getting foggier and foggier… If that was the case, how old was he now? What was going on?!

“Hey, why’d you slow down?” Joseph whined, tugging Caesar towards him. His pouting made him look almost like a child, sparking some amusement somewhere in the blonde’s heart.

Caesar looked in the reflection again, seeing him and Joseph like this. It looked almost as if they were friends of the same age. With this strange development, maybe they were. Before he passed out, Joseph had been a broken toy.

“Scusa. Let’s keep going,” Caesar answered.

Joseph seemed satisfied with that answer, and he went back to pulling him along. 

Chapter Text

The further the two traversed the slums, the thicker the snowfall seemed to get. Caesar didn’t think it was snowing when he had passed out; it had been a cloudless night. It was snowing harder and harder, he had to hold his hand above his eyes to see Joseph in front of him. Before he knew it, the world was a sea of white and the ground below them.

“I thought you said we were going somewhere warm!” he shouted over the wind blowing the snow around them.

“We are! We just gotta get past some of this first!” Joseph yelled back. Caesar had to strain his ears to hear his voice.

Soon enough, the wind began to die down. The world was still nothing but a dark white abyss, but there was a peacefulness to be found here. It was like the eye of a hurricane, if it could be called that.

“She’s gotta be around here somewhere…” Joseph muttered, looking around.

“Who is ‘she’?”

“A friend of mine, she always knows where the exit of this place is,” he explained. “We have to cross through her domain before we get to my place.”

“Domain?” Caesar questioned.

“Yeah, she basically rules the- Oh, there she is!” Joseph began waving in another direction. “Oi! Suzi Q!”

In the midst of the quiet snowstorm, Caesar could make out a figure slowly approaching. A young woman dressed in white seemed to skip through the snowflakes as if she belonged there. She hadn’t noticed Joseph despite him calling for her, instead staring off somewhere while humming a tune to herself. Caesar immediately pinned her as the distractible type.

Joseph got closer to her and suddenly called “Suzi!”

The girl jumped and let out a yelp as she whirled around to face him. “What the-?! Jojo! Don’t scare me like that!” she cried.

“Jeez, I was only a few feet away from you! What were you doing, woman?!” he scolded. She looked more surprised by the scolding than dejected. Caesar assumed this kind of exchange happened often between them.

He pushed past Joseph with his free hand. “Excuse me, signorina. This guy- Jojo told me there was a place past this point,” he corrected, and the brunette looked elated at him using his nickname. “Do you know where that is?”

“Hm? Oh!” Suzi realized what he was talking about quickly. She turned and pointed in a different direction. “If you keep going that way, you’ll get to the other side.”

Caesar nodded in gratitude. “Grazie,” he thanked, and he turned to leave, pulling Joseph along this time. The nutcracker let out a squawk of protest as Suzi giggled.

He wouldn’t lie, it felt good to be the one pulling him this time.

“So, who was that girl?” Caesar asked, letting his curiosity take over. “You seem to be familiar with her.”

“That was Suzi Q, she’s the queen of the snowflakes. She’s a bit of a dummy, but she’s pretty cute, heh,” Joseph answered.

“Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Oi, what was that?!”

Caesar chuckled at his indignation. “You know exactly what I mean, Jojo.”

“…Oh, you think I’m pretty cute?” Joseph suddenly answered, making Caesar’s face flush bright red. “My oh my! I didn’t think you felt that way about me.”

“Wh-?! Shut up, stronzo! Who’d fall in love with a personality like yours?!” The blonde cleared his throat to change the topic. “A-Anyway, how are you on such friendly terms with a queen? You look like a guard at most.”

“Heh heh heh… You really wanna know?” Joseph’s smile looked like something between excitable and mischievous, and Caesar didn't think it would spell anything good. “Yours truly is a bonafide prince. Crazy, I know!”

The blonde felt his breath catch in his throat at his confession. “Che cosa?! A prince?!” he exclaimed. All this time, he was speaking to actual royalty ?! He could probably move out of the slums by selling off this guy’s coat alone!

Another thought occurred to him. “Then what were you doing broken in the slums?! I thought you were just a doll!”

“Ah…that’s a long story, so let’s just skip that, ‘kay?” Joseph awkwardly laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

Of course, what made Caesar not suspect his title was his lackadaisy attitude. This guy might be royalty, but it wasn’t like Caesar respected authority in the first place… Things were drifting further and further away from his mind. But either way, in his opinion, Joseph was a royal pain-in-the-ass.

Before he could start questioning Joseph about that “long story”, Caesar could see a bright light in the distance, shaped like an archway. He picked up his pace and tightened his grip on Joseph’s hand, eager to get out of Suzi’s snowstorm and into someplace warm.

His feet broke into a run as he drew closer and closer into the light, and he closed his eyes as the brightness enveloped him and Joseph. He only opened his eyes again when a warm breeze brushed against his skin.

His voice felt forcibly suppressed as he stared at the expanse in front of him. He couldn’t voice his awe at the distant green fields, the bright blue sky, the light stone walkways, and the magnificent buildings surrounding them. He looked around to find them in a plaza, a brilliant fountain standing in the center with pink liquid gushing out.

“Well, we’re here!” Joseph announced, letting go of Caesar’s hand. “Pretty neat place, isn’t it?”

Caesar didn’t respond, still taking in his surroundings. The bright atmosphere reminded him of Naples, when his mother was alive and the days had been happy. He missed those days so much, the times where he had a family…not that he’d ever say it aloud.

“It pretty much never snows here. But we’ve still got a Christmas tree put up inside, it’s really neat, you’ve got to see it!” Joseph continued. He paused when he realized his audience wasn’t listening, and waved a hand in front of Caesar’s face. “Hey, knock knock, you in there?”

“…It’s Christmas?” was the only thing Caesar was able to ask.

“Hm? Yeah, it is. What, you don’t celebrate it? Right, I guess not, you live in the slums,” the brunette remembered. 

Caesar rolled his eyes at such an obvious statement. At least his exasperation was enough to ground him in reality, even if it was hard to believe that all of this was real.

Joseph took him by the hand again. “I'm guessing you're hungry, right? Or at least need somewhere to warm up,” he remarked as if he were talking about the weather, disregarding why exactly Caesar was hungry and cold. “Come on, let's go!”

“What? Where now?” Caesar demanded, going along with the other man.

“To the palace! There's definitely lots of food there, you know.”

“Palace?!”

Despite Caesar’s sputtering protests, Joseph dragged him from the plaza and to a building much larger than the others. To the blonde, it looked almost like a castle from a fairytale. How did he even end up in a situation like this?

But at least this so-called prince was helping him. Even his annoying tics that were rubbing him the wrong way were becoming more endearing-

Caesar squeezed his eyes shut, trying to purge that thought from his mind. He couldn't get attached to him, he hated half-assed guys like this! He wouldn't even be staying here, he wasn't even sure if this was real!

The doors of the building were LOUD as they opened, and Caesar almost jumped back out of reflex. Joseph squeezed his hand and looked back at him. Caesar schooled his face into neutrality, intent on retaining his dignity.

Past the door, an entry hall decorated in warm brown and golden colours awaited them. An evergreen stood at the back of the hall, decorated with elaborate tassels and ornaments. The few people within the hall turned to face them, and Caesar took a step back.

Joseph just smiled and began walking in, dragging the uncertain Caesar behind him. “Hey, good to see you guys! I have a guest, do any of you know where the fairy is?” he called out.

“I am right here,” a woman’s voice replied.

Joseph and Caesar whirled around just in time to see a woman close the doors behind him. Wearing a long purple dress, the woman emanated an aura of coldness. None of the other people in the entry hall dared to utter a sound as she stood before them.

Despite that, Caesar couldn't help but feel admiration for her power. She was smaller than him, but she held herself with a confidence that told him he stood no chance against her. For some reason, he felt the urge to bow to this woman. He couldn't understand why he felt overwhelming respect for a woman he’d never met before. 

He suddenly recalled a story his mother used to tell him, an English book about a girl who wanders into a world where reason is lost. If this place is similar to Paese delle Meraviglie, then would that mean his efforts to find reason in this situation were futile?

Should he just stop fighting it then?

The woman looked over at Caesar. “I suppose you’re Jojo’s guest then? Who would you be?” she questioned. Her tone made it clear that she was inquiring more than just his identity.

Caesar pushed down the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “My name is Caesar. It’s a pleasure to meet you, signora,” he answered. He sent a quiet thanks to his late mother for teaching him proper etiquette long ago, even if he scarcely used it nowadays.

The woman was silent for another moment as she took in Caesar’s appearance and words. Before his heart could beat out of his chest from nervousness, she seemed to have found what she was looking for and began to smile.

“Well said. You can call me Lisa Lisa…though many others call me the Sugar Plum Fairy,” she introduced. From the way Joseph’s hand squeezed his slightly, he could tell she outranked even him. She continued, “Welcome to the Land of Sweets, Caesar.”

The blonde shifted awkwardly closer to Joseph. He had enough grace to admit in front of his host - the literal ruler of this land - that he wasn’t fond of sweet things. If you had to ask him what kind of apples he’d prefer, he’d say that he liked the bittersweet ones from the orchard near his house in Naples rather than the sweet ones from the local market. 

It’s why he took to cigarettes quickly, letting the bitter smoke obscure his childish wonder and memories. Even that was a small comfort in the slums.

Lisa Lisa looked over at the nutcracker next, her smile falling. “Joseph Joestar. Where were you?” she demanded.

“Oh, um, funny story actually…” Joseph nervously laughed, slowly backing further into the palace. “So, uh, I kinda ended up in a Roman slum chasing the Rat King, and he messed me up pretty good. And then he and his lackeys started chasing Caesar, so..I went after them and took them out! That’s all, haha…”

From the way Joseph was acting around her, Caesar couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t like Lisa Lisa. Sure, she was pretty cold, but she acted like a decent woman. Almost like a mother, if Caesar could even call her that. If there was someone Caesar would want to rescue him from the slums, it would be her.

Caesar turned to the slowly retreating brunette. “Wait a second. Did the rats start chasing me because of you?” he accused.

“No way! Why would you think that?!” Joseph shouted back. “I tried to fight them where no one else was around! Not my fault I got my ass kicked.” He muttered the last part to himself, but Caesar heard it loud and clear.

The blonde let out a sigh. This man was a complete idiot, but he did mean well. He had a sense of honour, and ran after Caesar and the rats when he realized the danger. Once more, the feeling of respect he couldn’t understand had returned.

He felt hands place themselves on his shoulders and he nearly jumped. Normally, he’d whirl around and shove the offender off, but he felt calmer in this place. “Seems like Jojo’s put you through some trouble,” Lisa Lisa spoke, and she gently pushed him forward, never letting go of him.

“Wait, I haven’t-!”

Ignoring Joseph’s protest, the fairy guided Caesar through the entrance hall and towards a large door. She took her hand off and flicked her wrist, and the doors opened with a flourish of magic. As she resumed moving Caesar into the room, the blonde gaped at the revealed throne room. It looked and felt warmer than anything he’d ever seen, more comforting than home. The walls were painted red and the floor was made of white stone. It was a place that knocked the breath out of him just from the sight of it.

“You were a very brave young man. You’re safe now,” Lisa Lisa continued, sounding almost motherly. “Call this an apology, or perhaps a reward…”

She kept walking him down the throne room as he looked around in wonder. It took him another moment to realize where she was leading him: the thrones.

Two thrones sat side-by-side at the end of the room, very sturdy and well-made (from what his experience watching his bastard father at work would tell him). Joseph happily skipped forward and plopped himself down on one of the thrones, and patted the seat of the one next to him.

“Come on, Caesar!” he called over, a wide smile on his face.

“Joseph, you will be supervising our guest,” Lisa Lisa ordered. Joseph pouted, but it didn’t stay on his face for long as Caesar was brought to the other throne.

The blonde was nothing less than bewildered, but didn’t fight against the fairy guiding him to sit down in the chair. He knew he shouldn’t be there - he was a street thug who cast away his youth and future. But the reflection in the window showed a man who had overcome that reality, and he couldn’t find his voice.

As Caesar sat on the throne, he looked completely out of his element. But Joseph was practically beaming beside him, and Lisa Lisa moved to stand beside the throne; his dazed expression was the only thing giving away that he wasn’t from this land. A pair of servants carried a table in front of the thrones, and more brought food and drinks to put on top. Lisa Lisa grabbed a glass of wine and backed up again.

“Help yourself to the food and drink,” she invited, “and my servants will see to your entertainment.”

She snapped her fingers, and people started coming into the throne room, filling their positions and making ordering arrangements. Joseph passed Caesar a glass of wine. He chose a glass of soda in ice for his own beverage. Caesar sipped at his wine as he glanced over at Joseph, who looked like an excited child at a parade.

A pair of servants wearing dark brown attire came before the throne first. Music began to play, and the servants began to dance. Their elegant and precise movements matched the quick tempo and emphasized percussion of the music. The music didn’t sound familiar to Caesar, but he knew it was nothing like folk dancing or opera music. Even so, he was enamoured by it.

“Lisa Lisa’s got lots of servants. These ones are hot chocolate,” Joseph quietly told Caesar.

Hot chocolate ? Caesar thought it was just a type of drink. Was the servants’ name an alias? There was unfortunately one way to find out.

“Why are these people named after a drink? Just what is this place?” he whispered back.

Joseph choked back a laugh at that. “This is the Land of Sweets. The servants here are, uh…they’re basically personifications of different kinds of sweets or beverages. They’re not named after food - they are the food,” he explained.

It only made Caesar more confused than before. But as he decided earlier, he shouldn’t think about that too much. 

“Even food comes alive in this place…” he muttered, half to himself.

“Just the ones given life by the fairy. And me too.” Joseph stuck a thumb in Lisa Lisa’s direction. “Everything basically revolves around her magic.”

Caesar glanced over at Lisa Lisa, who watched the hot chocolate servants dance as she sipped her wine. He suddenly felt more fear and respect towards her - this time, those feelings came from himself, he understood. She could easily kill him where she stood, and Caesar was not in the habit of picking fights he knew he absolutely couldn’t win.

He looked back at Joseph. “So, Suzi too?”

“Yep, though she was more of a test run on some snowflakes,” the brunette replied. “But she barely steps into this land. She stays on the border of this place and the real world because she can’t decide which one she likes more, that dummy…”

Real world? This place isn’t part of the real world?

In hindsight, Caesar probably should have realized that as soon as he met a literal fairy.

The music came to an end, and the hot chocolate servants took a bow as the three at the thrones applauded. The pair left the space and to the sides of the room, and five scantily-clad servants took their places instead. “These are coffee,” Joseph whispered to Caesar, whose face was slowly going as red as a strawberry.

He’d seen women wearing very little before, namely the ones he seduced into taking some clothes off (either to secretly rob them or otherwise). But these servants were proud and dignified with their sultry movements. They weren’t the slightest bit embarrassed of their sensual movements - the same couldn’t be said for Caesar himself, who wasn’t even performing. He wasn’t used to people being so forward, not with a life where you had to conceal things to survive.

He heard Joseph snickering beside him. “See something you like?” he teased, and Caesar reflexively elbowed him in the ribs. “Gh-! Heh, you really aren’t honest with your feelings, are you?”

“And you aren’t the type to take people’s feelings seriously!” Caesar hissed back.

“I can read people like a book, you know. And you’re not just blushing over the dancers, are you? You’re definitely hiding something.”

Joseph trailed off, studying Caesar’s face with his smile. The way he looked like he was searching for something unnerved Caesar, who just turned away from him and watched the servants dance. He couldn’t figure Joseph out at all. He was grateful to the moron, sure, but he and the emotions he brought with him were strange.

The five coffee servants took their bows and left the makeshift stage. Taking their place were another pair of servants wearing a style of clothing Caesar had never seen before. Their dance was eccentric with lots of jumping, and Caesar wondered if they were the ones who were actually coffee and Joseph was pulling his leg earlier.

“These are tea,” Joseph told him, and Caesar nodded in reply. He remembered his mother enjoying black tea on special occasions; he was told that it had caffeine in it.

Another moment of watching the servants passed, and Joseph moved closer on his throne. “You’re leaning awfully close to this side…at this rate, people are going to mistake you for a consort instead of a guest.”

Caesar blinked and looked down at his position, finding that Joseph was right. He was practically putting his body weight on the side of the throne closest to Joseph. He sat up as his face flushed again. “Don’t be stupid. You think people will think I’m a consort?” he laughed, reaching for the scraps of his dignity.

“You’re definitely blushing too much to just be thought of as a simple friend,” Joseph teased, poking Caesar’s cheek and getting his hand swatted away. “Besides, you don’t seem too opposed to that idea. You haven’t denied it even once.”

“Get real, moron. Even if you didn’t pick me up from the slums , you’ve only known me for a couple hours at most. And you’re already thinking of marriage?” The blonde just shook his head. “I’d tell you to court yourself a princess, but if a street rat is having trouble keeping up with you, I’d pity the signorina you pursue.”

Joseph let out a small huff of disappointment. “You keep bringing the whole ‘slum’ thing up over and over again. Does that stuff really matter? You’re more than happy here, you don’t need to think about that place anymore.”

“Caesar's current social class is irrelevant anyway,” Lisa Lisa interrupted, spooking both men as they whipped around to face her.

“Wh-What do you mean, Lisa Lisa?”

“Even if he doesn’t think he’s worth much, he has a baron’s blood flowing through his veins. The Zeppeli family has a pedigree.”

“What did you just…?!”

Caesar could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears. How the fuck did she know his family name?! He didn’t tell her or Joseph anything about it! Moreover, how would she know that his family had a baron title when even he didn’t know about it?! That title was more than worthless now anyway!

A memory came back to him, one of his bastard father telling stories to his children as he tucked them into bed. He told them that their grandfather was born into a family of scholars…so maybe the Sugar Plum Fairy was right after all. But he still had no idea where she got that information. Has someone been spying on his family from here?

“Wait, that means…HA! See?!” Joseph prodded Caesar’s chest as he smiled triumphantly. “Now you HAVE to shut up about that stuff!”

Caesar rolled his eyes. Joseph wasn’t a person who could be reasoned with at any rate. Well, not by him. Lisa Lisa just had to glare at Joseph to make him lower his voice. Caesar respected that woman more and more every minute.

The tea servants took their bows and left, and taking their place were three winter-dressed servants who held onto each other for their dance. The only times they let go of each other were for one of them to do repeated spins and jumps. The music was very energetic and loud.

“These are candy canes,” Joseph whispered. Caesar nodded, and the brunette did not follow up with any comment. Caesar guessed that Lisa Lisa must’ve spooked him good, and that thought amused him more than it should have.

But without Joseph’s chattering, all Caesar could do as he watched the dance was think. Joseph was intent on teasing him like a damn playground crush…but the worst part about it was that Caesar couldn’t deny any of his taunts. He was feeling something for that man - even all the way back to when he saved him, though it had been numbed by shock. 

But was that “something” really anything like love, like Joseph was not-so-subtly implying? Was it love, or was it just gratefulness? Caesar had spent so long without any real connections, trying to keep his feelings buried and detached. But even with his messed-up emotions, this land seemed to be making them clearer the more he stayed. Maybe that in itself was a product of Lisa Lisa’s magic.

It was almost like he was in a fairytale. Though he felt a slight prickle of irritation at the thought that he was a princess. Unlike them, the only thing he needed rescuing from was himself.

The candy cane servants finished their dance, and taking their place were a different trio dressed in light brown with aristocratic clothing. “Those are marzipan,” Joseph told him.

Caesar expected them to be stuffy with their dancing, but it proceeded with the man between two women helping them dance, treating them like a gentleman would. He wasn’t normally interested in elegance and refined movements, but something inside him was compelling him to watch and study their movements.

Joseph nudged him with his foot. “Hey, want a sandwich?” he whisper-asked, evidently having recovered from Lisa Lisa’s silent scolding. Caesar wasn’t paying attention, remaining transfixed on the servants’ movements. “Caesar, helloooo?” He prodded him again. And yet again, Caesar ignored him.

It was hard to ignore him a third time when Caesar was suddenly being kissed.

His brain practically froze up, he was still even as Joseph pulled away and tried offering a sandwich to him again. It took another moment for Caesar to break out of his stunned stupor and kick Joseph hard in the shin.

“ Owww!” Joseph hissed, holding his shin as Caesar practically read out the Italian dictionary of swear words at him. It took another minute for Caesar to cool his head. All the while, Lisa Lisa glared at the men for making a scene during the performance.

When he finally pulled himself together, he glared at Joseph. “What the fuck was that?!”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll give you some warning next time,” Joseph teased with a wink. He quickly followed this with a “Wait, wait, get your foot away! I’ve suffered enough!”

“Clearly not, idiota!”

Caesar grumbled as he refrained from kicking Joseph a second time. He wouldn’t say that he disliked the kiss, even if it tasted very sweet. But if this moron tried to suddenly kiss him a second time, Caesar was sure he was going to break this moron’s arm, prince or not. Anyone who stayed around Caesar for even a minute, or even just lived in the slums, would tell you that he hated being surprised.

He suddenly noticed that Joseph had that damn smile on again, one that told Caesar he was going to be in trouble. 

“What is it now?” he sighed.

“What? You’re acting like it’s bad that I’m happy,” Joseph fake-pouted. 

“That’s because you look like you’re up to something.”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like I’m planning something every single minute!”

Caesar looked at him like he clearly didn’t believe what the other man was saying.

“I was just happy that my guess came true.” Joseph took a moment to savour the confused look on the blonde’s face. “You’re the type to not be honest. I had a feeling that if I kissed you, you’d get mad about everything except the kiss itself. Looks like I was right!”

Caesar sputtered Italian profanities under his breath. “What exactly were you looking for?!” he finally demanded.

“Figure it out, dumbass.” Joseph punctuated his reply with a light flick to Caesar’s forehead. Without either of them noticing, the marzipan servants finished their dance.

Lisa Lisa put her hand on Caesar’s head, ceasing all thoughts of breaking the brunette’s arm as she curled her fingers through his hair. He relaxed and took his eyes off Joseph, looking back to the space in front of the throne. Servants in flowy dresses and decorated with flowers made their way into the space. It wasn’t hard to guess what these servants were personifications of.

He relaxed as his hair was played with, watching the flowers waltz through hazy eyes. Lost in his thoughts, he was forced to admit that Joseph had a point. For all of that man’s nonsense, Caesar never pushed away his intentions. He didn’t know exactly why, but maybe that feeling of “something” he was feeling…was something like love after all.

It took Caesar way too long to end up at that conclusion, in his opinion. Evidently, Joseph must’ve thought the same thing.

He let out a small sigh. “This has got to be the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” he murmured, closing his eyes as he leaned further into Lisa Lisa’s touch.

“Do you have a wish?”

“…Huh? A wish?”

“We don’t give presents on Christmas,” Lisa Lisa idly replied. “In the Land of Sweets, one of your wishes comes true.”

Caesar thought for a moment, looking around the throne room. Being given attention, food, warmth, love, everything so freely was more than he could ever ask for. If he had to ask for one thing…

“I wish this wouldn’t have to end. This just doesn’t seem real. This can’t be real, it’s-” Caesar’s voice caught in his throat as he shook his head. “It’s just too good to be true.”

“Pff, that’s barely a wish,” Joseph scoffed.

Ignoring Joseph, Lisa Lisa replied, “You know, that power you hold, it might just make this real.”

“Power…?”

“A baron’s blood isn’t the only thing running through your veins. You have the makings of the Ripple in you as well. The power of the sun, pure life energy.”

Caesar remained silent. Was she referring to that strange electricity that would sometimes appear around his hands when he got into fights? For some reason, a part of him agreed that it was the right answer.

“There are some rare kinds of Ripple users whose power gives them precognition, like Tonpetty long ago. Perhaps that power lies in you as well,” she hummed. “Perhaps even this is a distorted prediction of your future. You have yet to unlock your full potential for the Ripple.”

“The…the future?” Caesar questioned. “Is this is some kind of prophecy, then- Then are these feelings even my own? Or do they belong to my future self?”

“That’s up for you to decide. Will you embrace them or separate yourself from them?” she asked back.

He had a feeling she was telling the truth. After all, the window’s reflection showed him as an adult. Did that mean he was having a warped vision of his adulthood? Would he find happiness such as this? Would he ever encounter someone like Joseph again?

That last question made him pause for a moment. He took a deep breath as he pushed it from his mind. That question was from his own emotion, not his future self’s emotion. He didn’t need to question it.

“Who cares about all of that?” Joseph brazenly interrupted. “Reality’s only what you ever make of it anyway. If you’re happy, you’re happy! If you’re sad, you’re sad! There’s no need to overthink things.”

“Overthink? You don’t even think at all, moron!” Caesar shot back.

The flower servants finished their dance and bowed as the men playfully bickered with each other. Lisa Lisa cleared her throat, quickly getting the room’s attention. “Now that the entertainment has finished, you are all free to make merry to your heart’s content,” she announced.

“What does that mean?” Caesar whispered.

“It means we can dance now!” Joseph exclaimed, standing up from his throne and pulling Caesar to his feet. He eagerly moved around the food-filled table to the middle of the room as Caesar followed behind him. 

The nutcracker pulled him closer to dance with him, which Caesar didn’t fight. Now that he was seeing him up close, he noticed the height difference between them. It wasn’t much, but it was something small enough that he could file away for later. A smaller detail was more real than anything else he’d seen in the past couple hours.

While Joseph was happily leading him in a dance he was admittedly a beginner too, he noticed the other servants dancing with each other. Everyone was having fun, there was no pain or cold haunting them. Even Lisa Lisa, while not joining in the dance, looked pleased as she watched on.

Caesar looked back at Joseph, who wore a big smile as he spun him around. He looked like an enthusiastic puppy, Caesar thought it was adorable. He let himself be danced to Joseph’s beat, letting the anger and loneliness from the slums wash away. It didn’t matter here.

The music began to slow, and so did the tempo of their dance. As Joseph pulled Caesar closer to slow dance with him, the blonde entirely misread his movements and moved up to kiss him. Joseph was surprised as lips met his, but he made no complaints as he pressed the other man against his chest. While one hand was around Caesar’s back, the other snaked down to grab his hip.

The sweetness of the kiss was all over Caesar’s lips, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he would get addicted this way. But it had to end eventually, and the blonde pulled back as he stared at the bedazzled prince.

“That was- Wow,” Joseph chuckled. “Where’d you learn to kiss like that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Caesar teased back.

Between them, only the music could be heard. Caesar rested his head against Joseph’s shoulder. 

“When I see you again next, I want to keep seeing you until I die,” he sighed.

Joseph smiled as he led them in a slow dance, even with Caesar practically cuddling him standing up. “Finally, you made a proper wish,” he joked.

As the dance continued, Caesar closed his eyes and let himself melt into Joseph’s warmth. It was safe here, he didn’t need to worry anymore. 

He didn’t need to worry…

It was cold.

He didn’t remember being cold, last he checked. Why was he cold?

With great effort, Caesar opened his eyes. He was in a small room with peeling wallpaper, and it smelled like something rotten. He looked down and saw that he was lying on a bed with stained bedsheets. His body was covered by a thin and ratty blanket.

He lifted his arm, finding that his arm was covered in bandages and ratty clothes hung off his frame. He ran a hand through his hair, finding it dirty and ragged.

He didn’t need a mirror to tell him that he wasn’t in the land of sweets anymore. The reflection wouldn’t show a dignified man, but an unkempt street rat.

He tried to sit up, but found that he lacked the strength for it. At that moment, the door to the room opened and a bone-thin woman walked inside.

“Oh, thank the good lord! I thought you were never going to wake up!” she gasped. He tried to sit up, but she hobbled over and quickly pushed him back down. “No, no! Don’t get up yet, save your strength. I’ll bring you some food soon.”

“Where…?” he croaked out.

“I found you slumped over in an alleyway. I thought you were just hypothermic, but you had a fever too. I brought you back to my house to recover,” she hastily explained.

Caesar wasn’t sure if he could believe her or not. If you found someone slumped over in an alleyway, he knew anyone else would just leave them there. Hardly anyone had the materials to care for anyone other than themselves. But this kind woman had ended up nursing him back to consciousness, if not health.

“How long…?”

“You were out for a couple days, bambino. You’re still not out of the woods yet, but at least your fever broke overnight.”

She giggled a bit to herself. “You were smiling and mumbling to yourself in your sleep too, it was rather cute, if I must say.”

Caesar wanted to bite back that she didn’t have to say it, but he couldn’t make his raspy voice work. She was right, he was just too weak for even that.

Even if he did manage to get out of bed, he doubted that he’d be able to bring himself to rob her. Even if he could easily escape, that woman looked like she would keel over and die if she missed a meal. Even if he had no qualms about robbing anyone and everyone, Caesar hated seeing women being hurt. He couldn’t forgive it.

It reminded him too much of watching his mother on her deathbed.

He blinked in surprise. Where did his sudden sentimentality come from? Perhaps it was from that…

…that dream. It was all a dream. The Land of Sweets, the travel through the snow, meeting Joseph, getting chased by rats, it was all just a fever dream.

That’s why he was overcome by feelings he couldn’t understand, he realized that quickly. Things had been moving so fast, that was all because of the dream too. Those “prophecy” and “Ripple” things had to be bullshit. Just figments of his tired and lonely mind while he was sick.

“I’ll get you some food, I’ll be right back,” the woman told him, and she hobbled out of the room. Caesar watched her leave, unable to say anything in reply.

He didn’t know why she bothered to save him, much less save anybody. He didn’t have any plans for the future, only living day-to-day with his anger and loneliness. He didn’t know if he’d even make it to his eighteenth birthday at this rate - it wasn’t like he was actually keeping track of his birthday anyway, but he’d occasionally spot a glimpse of a calendar that made him think about it.

He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes. He didn’t think he’d survive that long, but even so…

…he wished he’d be able to find someone like Joseph again.