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Minghao leant back on the wall to catch his breath, the after effects of practicing for hours catching up to him.
He was used to the ache he felt after dancing, but on this particular day, he wasn’t so lucky. The pain he felt after practicing was a good kind of pain, it was an indication that they did good, that they actually finished something.
The ache he felt in his chest was a whole other story. His heart ached once again as he reminisced that night.
…
He woke and sat up in cold sweat, almost hitting his head on the bunk above. Looking around, he tried to remember where he was.
After hearing a few soft snores from the bunks beside his, he breathed a sigh of relief. ‘You’re at the dorm, it’s okay, you’re okay.’ he reassured himself.
Laying back down, he tried to go back to sleep. The keywords in that sentence were ‘he tried’. Deciding that maybe some fresh air would help him in this situation, he stood up from his bed and quietly made his way through the room.
He headed to their kitchen, wanting a glass of water before going for a walk. Opening a cupboard, he took a plastic cup- plastic because all the glass ones were broken over time by the rowdy boys- and filled it with water.
After finished the contents of the cup, he glanced at the digital clock above the fridge. 2:17 am.
Manager-nim was going to have Minghao’s head if he caught the boy out at this time of night, but he didn’t really care.
The dorm was quiet, something incredibly rare, as he walked towards the front door. Stopping to take his coat off the rack, he jumped as a sudden voice spoke.
“Hao? Where are you going?”
Minghao turned around to see Junhui rubbing his eyes, sleep still evident in his voice. The younger’s heart beat faster as he remembered his dream, the reason why he was even up.
“I- I couldn’t sleep.. I thought going for a walk would help.” Minghao explained, using Mandarin instead of Korean for his brain couldn’t even think of a single Korean word this time of night.
Junhui looked confused for a second, but his expression softened once he took in the younger’s appearance. Minghao had dark circles under his eyes, and his thin body managed to look even thinner in the black coat he was wearing. Late nights practicing were taking a different toll on every member, and if a walk would help Minghao, then Junhui couldn’t argue.
Junhui sighed as he stepped closer to Minghao.
The younger thought his hyung was gonna force him to go back to his shared room with the maknaes, but when Junhui reached behind him to retrieve his coat, he breathed a sigh of relief.
After Junhui put on his coat and changed from his slippers to shoes, he took Minghao by the arm and led him outside. Once outside, he let go of Minghao’s arm to get the spare key from the top of the doorframe- just incase they get locked out, again- and closed the door.
Minghao went ahead and walked towards the stairs outside the building. He breathed in, the cold air was a great contrast to the stuffy humid feeling inside the dorm and practice room. It felt nice.
Junhui walked outside, the spare key tucked safely in his coat pocket. He stopped as he saw Minghao on the stairs, eyes closed and breathing deeply. Junhui had two things to admit, the fellow Chinese member was extremely good-looking and that his feelings for him were all over the place.
Junhui stepped towards Minghao, taking his hand in his and intertwining their fingers. Under the moonlight, you could still see Minghao’s face turning beet red.
“Let’s go,” Junhui said softly to the younger, pulling him forward to start their walk through the neighborhood.
They walked hand in hand, a comfortable silence surrounding them. Minghao looked at his hyung and admired the way he looked so peaceful. His eyes raked down Junhui’s face, taking in his features that still held sleepiness. His hair was messed up yet still looked good, one of Junhui’s traits that Minghao envied.
They stopped at a bench a few blocks away from their dorm and sat down. This was where the two of them would normally just relax and talk, sometimes they would just sit in silence, like right now.
Minghao stared up at the moon, full and white. He looked at the stars that shined next to the moon and finally, he looked once again at Junhui, who was already looking at him, a look of curiousness in his eyes.
“What?” Minghao asked, squirming under Jun’s gaze. “What did you dream about, Hao?” Junhui asked him in a loving way.
Minghao hesitated, but the look Junhui was giving him made that hesitation fly away.
“I-I dreamt about… a ghost,” Minghao joked, laughing at the way Junhui’s face scrunched up at the unexpected aegyo.
“I will kill you if you do that ever again,” Junhui threatened him, but no anger could be found in his voice, only fondness.
“Oh, you love it, Junnie-hyung,” Minghao shoved the older lightly with his shoulder, their laughs disturbing the silence of the night.
‘I love you’, Junhui thought. He shook the thought away. “Seriously Hao, what did you really dream about?” The older asked once their laughter had died down.
Minghao breathed in deeply, preparing himself for his hyung's reaction to the words about to come out his mouth. “You.”
Junhui’s expression changed from serious to utterly confused and curious. and Minghao hated it.
When his hyung didn’t respond, he simply continued, “I dreamt about all of us going our separate ways and you leaving me even though you promised you wouldn’t.”
Junhui almost missed it since the younger said it all in one breath but he managed, and what he heard surprised him. He remembered the promise he made to Minghao. All those years ago, when they were still trainees and Hao was new to being in another country. Being a fellow Chinese, Hao followed Junhui everywhere and Junhui would help him in understanding everything.
They were inseparable. They still were on some days but lately, because of all the promotions, practice and performances, they didn’t even have enough time to talk.
“Hyung? Please say something,” the younger pleaded in Chinese. Junhui looked at him, he could see panic in Minghao’s eyes. Panic and regret.
“Hao, I don’t break promises, remember? I wouldn’t leave you all alone.” Junhui answered him softly, looking Minghao straight in the eyes. He took both of Minghao’s hands in his own when he saw tears forming in Minghao’s eyes.
Junhui panicked and frantically asked him why he was crying. He pulled Minghao in for a hug, the younger crying into his shoulder. “ I don’t want us to go our separate ways, hyung.”
“And we won’t, Hao. We’re like brothers. Brothers don’t leave each other after everything they’ve been through.” Junhui whispered, trying to convince the younger. He felt Minghao sigh against his shoulder.
They stayed like that for a little while, hugging it out. They both wondered if the other could hear his heart beating so loudly. They both wondered if the other shared the same feelings as the other, that they didn’t want to be like brothers but rather, something more.
Minghao pulled away, but not completely, as his face was a mere two inches away from Junhui’s.
Minghao’s heartbeat raced faster, he stared at Junhui’s eyes and then at his lips then back to his eyes. He leaned in, not wanting to waste this chance.
But just as his lips brushed the younger’s, Junhui whispered against his lips, “Hao, we can’t.”
Minghao’s eyes fell closed as his heart dropped, his head falling on Junhui’s shoulder. “L-let’s go back to the dorm, yeah?” the older suggested, voice shaking. Minghao nodded meekly, standing up from the bench.
He started walking, wanting to just bury himself under his bed covers after that tragic mess. Junhui jogged up to Minghao and took his hand in his but the younger pulled his hand away immediately.
Junhui’s chest filled with dread at the sudden action, but he let his dongsaeng be. They walked back to the dorm in completely uncomfortable silence.
Minghao climbed up the stairs faster than he ever has, wanting to climb back in bed and just cry already. He reached their front door but as he turned the knob, he realized it was locked. “Looking for this?”
He turned around to be greeted by Junhui's face inches away from his again, a key in his hand. Minghao tried reaching for it but only havinghis wrist caught by Junhui’s hand.
The younger struggled against Junhui’s grip, telling the older in Mandarin to let him go and open the door, when suddenly Junhui pushed him up the door and pressed their lips together.
Minghao was too shocked to respond to Junhui’s kiss and when he realized what was happening, he melted into the kiss and moved his lips with Junhui’s. He snaked his fingers around Junhui’s waist and pulled him closer.
They both pulled away for air after a few minutes, foreheads resting on each other’s. They stared at each other for a few more moments, before the older whispered, “Let’s go inside,” and pressed another kiss to Minghao’s lips.
Minghao slept that night with a smile on his face and arms around his waist.
…
His heart ached with love as Junhui sat himself down next to him, handing him a plastic cup with water. “Hey,” Junhui said, leaning in, temporarily forgetting that Chan and Soonyoung were inside the same room.
Minghao laughed at Junhui’s expression when he avoided the kiss, whispering something into the older’s ear.
“Hyung, we can’t.”