Chapter Text
When Ushio opens the door to the Toguro dorm room, the last thing he’s expecting to see is Akuta with a hand on Nanaki’s chin, their faces abnormally close together as Akuta whispers something Ushio can’t quite make out.
A feeling Ushio doesn’t want to name quietly settles in his chest, but he ignores it and clears his throat. “Um, what the hell is this? Am I interrupting something?”
Nanaki makes eye contact with him from behind Akuta, his face erupting in a blush as he pushes Akuta away. “U-Ushio?! What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to give Idiotake his umbrella back, but it looks like I’m not welcome here,” Ushio says, tone much more bitter than he’d intended.
“Ah, I forgot about that!” Akuta takes the umbrella from Ushio’s hand without waiting for him to offer it up. “Thanks!”
“It isn’t what it looks like, I swear,” Nanaki sighs. “He was helping me with something?”
“With what? Did you have some crumbs on your lips that he could only get off by using his?”
Nanaki scrunches up his face. “What? No! It’s… kind of complicated.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Nanaki lied to his family and told them he has a looover, so now he needs someone to pretend to date him when he goes home tomorrow!” Akuta interjects, a cheeky grin on his face. “Funny, right?!”
Nanaki wraps an arm around Akuta’s neck, holding him tightly in a headlock. “Shut up, Akuta! That isn’t the whole story!”
“I give, I give!” Akuta hisses, slapping weakly at Nanaki’s arm. He lets him go and Akuta scampers over to Ushio, hiding behind him. “Save me, Ushio-kun!”
“Come on, he isn’t that strong,” Ushio says. “So, Panda? You gonna explain yourself or what?”
“...When I was on the phone to my brother the other day, he asked me if I’d made any progress with the person I like. But I wasn’t really paying attention to what he said, so I just said yes without thinking. Before I knew it, he told my parents and they told me to bring them over for the holidays. They sounded so excited that I couldn’t bring myself to tell them it was a mistake,” Nanaki explains sheepishly. “I can’t, um, actually ask the person I like, so I need someone to help me out here. Ideally, I’d ask Kiroku or Muneuji if they could help, but they have their own families that they’re spending Christmas with. Since he’ll be staying here, I asked Akuta if he could pretend to be my boyfriend for a minute so I could judge what he’d be like.”
“I see,” Ushio says. It sounds scarily similar to the plot of a ReiOu doujin Ushio read a couple of weeks ago. Seriously, how is Nanaki real? He doesn’t know why, but that uncomfortable feeling from earlier has returned. Of course Nanaki can’t ask the chief—he’s an adult, and not to mention outside of the country at the moment—but the fact that Ushio hadn’t even been considered kinda pisses him off. “You asked that idiot before me? I’m staying here too, y’know.”
“Yeah, but it’s you. I didn’t think you’d want to,” Nanaki scoffs, leaning back on his hands. “But if you’re offering, go ahead. Give me your best shot.”
Ushio doesn’t like his tone. Sure, they don’t get along, but Ushio likes to think that he’d be a better fake boyfriend than Akuta. He might not be able to touch Nanaki or anything, but relationships aren’t just physical. He’s read enough BL to know exactly what to say to have someone like Nanaki swooning, even if it is a little cringe-worthy.
So, he kneels on the ground in front of Nanaki. “Hey, Nanaki. I listened to that band you recommended me the other day, and you were right. I seriously loved their songs. How about we go see them together one day?”
Nanaki blinks stupidly at him. “O-Oh. That’s—”
“By the way, have I ever told you how handsome you are?” Ushio raises a hand and gently traces his fingernails along Nanaki’s cheek. “I really adore this face of yours. You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now, honey. …Can I?”
Instead of pushing him away like he did with Akuta, Nanaki scurries backwards rather pathetically, staring at Ushio with his mouth agape and a blush that travels all the way up to his forehead. “W-W-What the hell was that?!”
“Chat, is this rizz?!” Akuta exclaims, watching with high interest. “Ushio, way to go, my man! That was some crazy rizz power you had there! Have you been learning from Ten-san as well?”
“Of course not. This is all natural. I guess you underestimated me, Panda,” Ushio says smugly. He hates to say it, but Nanaki looks criminally cute in this state, his little snaggletooth peeking out from behind parted pink lips. “So? What’ll it be? Idiotake or me?”
“Ooh, this is fun! Like a job interview or something!” Akuta remarks. He sits up straight beside Ushio, suddenly serious. “Nanaki, you’re gonna pick me, right? Although, Ushio’s performance was so good that I can’t blame you if he gets the job instead.”
Ushio isn’t sure when this turned into a job, but whatever. Nanaki spends a few minutes lost in thought, unintentionally building suspense. Akuta nudges Ushio with his elbow, leaning in to whisper to him. “No hard feelings, eh?”
“I could care less who he picks,” Ushio mutters, shuffling away from him.
“Why did you audition then?” Akuta asks. “No one forced you to offer yourself. Be honest, you’re worried about Nanaki, aren’t you?”
Ushio flashes Akuta his best passive-aggressive smile. “Do you want to be put in another chokehold?”
“N-No, sir!”
“...Ushio,” Nanaki begins, drawing their attention to him. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“...I don’t have anything better to do,” Ushio says. “The party was yesterday ‘cuz the chief’s gone away for Christmas. So what does it matter if I’m here or there?”
Nanaki places his hands in his lap all serious-like. “You’re hired. I’m sorry, Akuta.”
“Nah, don’t sweat it! I’d have picked him too!” Akuta says, giving Nanaki a thumbs up. “I have Teach to spend Christmas with when he gets back, anyway!” Nanaki’s eye twitches, and Ushio stifles a laugh. Akuta is like the chief’s little brother, so he doesn’t mean anything by it, but of course Nanaki is going to take it that way. Idiot. “Aw, heck! I just remembered I promised Raito-san I’d help him out with something! See you guys later!”
Once he’s scurried away upstairs, Ushio turns to Nanaki. “If we’re going to do this, we need to lay some boundaries,” he says, thinking back on the doujin he read recently. Of course, being a BL doujin, those boundaries had been broken by the end. But this is real life, and there’s no crazy romantic tension between Ushio and Nanaki like there is between Reito and Ouji, so they’re going to stick. “First, no touching.”
“Who’s gonna believe we’re in a relationship if I’m not allowed to touch you?” Nanaki asks. But before Ushio can offer an alternative, Nanaki places a hand on his chin thoughtfully. “Hm, I guess we can just say it’s a brand new thing so you’re still shy.”
Ushio clicks his teeth. “Why’s it gotta be my fault?”
“Because it is your fault?” Nanaki raises an eyebrow. “I don’t mind, though. As much as you annoy me, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable at all.”
“You just had to throw that first part in…” Ushio mutters, scratching his neck. His face feels weirdly hot, but he chalks it up to the heating in the house. “But… thank you.”
“Of course,” Nanaki says. “Or we could just tell them that you don’t like to be touched, if that’s alright with you. You got anything else?”
“We need to be on the same page with our stories. Like, who asked who out? How long have we been together?”
Nanaki nods. “Good point. How about this; it was three weeks ago on a snowy evening at a Christmas market. You looked cold, so I wrapped my scarf around you. In return, you took one of my hands and held it in your pocket to keep it warm. Surrounded by the beautiful lights and happy couples, I gather the courage to finally confess how I feel—”
“Sorry, why are you the one who confessed?” Ushio interrupts, totally not enjoying the vibe of this story.
“Are you telling me that if you liked someone, you’d confess?”
“What about you, loverboy? How many times has your heart been broken?”
“I can just say I was confident that you liked me back. I mean, you are always staring at me, so who’s to say you don’t actually like me?”
Ushio scoffs. “Don’t get a big head, Panda. Like that would ever happen.”
“Let’s make that a rule, then. You aren’t allowed to fall in love with me,” Nanaki says, and suddenly Ushio is back in his bed in the middle of the night, fawning over Reito saying those exact words to Ouji. For a moment, it’s as if his oshi is standing right before his eyes yet again.
“T-That won’t be an issue,” Ushio replies, folding his arms over his chest. “It’s only for two days. I’m not going to fall for you just because you have a handsome face. You need a likeable personality on top of that.”
Nanaki smirks. “You think I’m handsome?”
“No, that was—I meant—shit, you piss me off…!”
—
Ushio has been to Nanaki’s house before, but that was in the middle of summer. Now, in the peak of the Christmas season, the house is covered top to bottom in festive lights, from friendly snowmen in the front lawn to a miniature Santa in his sleigh on the roof. It isn’t dark enough yet for them to be switched on, but Ushio is immensely looking forward to it; he can get a photo of Nanaki in front of it as blackmail.
“What are you smirking about?” Nanaki asks, drawing Ushio out of his thoughts. “Creepy.”
It’s Christmas Eve, and the two of them are standing outside the door, seconds away from setting the whole boyfriend facade into motion. Ushio spent most of the train journey here fretting over it—he’s sure that Nanaki’s family are very nice people, but that’s the issue. If they were assholes, Ushio wouldn’t have any trouble lying to them. But from what Nanaki’s told him, his parents and brother are all extraordinarily kind, so it’s going to nag at Ushio’s conscience a little bit. But he’s here now, and as funny as it would be, he can’t just leave Nanaki hanging.
“Nothing for you to be worrying about,” Ushio responds, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket. “Now, are you gonna ring the doorbell already?”
Nanaki stares at him for a moment. “...Are you ready?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Nothing,” Nanaki says with a shake of his head. He reaches out and presses the doorbell, and within seconds there’s a loud clammour behind the door. “Just a heads up, my mom might be a bit in-your-face at first. She means well, though.”
“You’re telling me this now?” Ushio whispers as the door opens.
A beautiful woman with wavy brown hair and a beaming smile greets them; she has the same little snaggletooth as Nanaki, Ushio notes. She moves in to hug Nanaki first, her hold considerably strong for someone of her short stature. “Nanaki, welcome home! Oh, it’s been so long. I’ve missed you!”
“Mom, I saw you two weeks ago when I came to pick up those snacks you brought me!” Nanaki replies, but he hugs her back just as tightly.
“That’s still too long,” she muses, gently stroking the hair on the back of his head. She pulls away after a minute, switching her focus onto Ushio. “And you must be Ushio-kun!”
She moves towards him with open arms, but before she can make contact with him, Nanaki steps between them, making a motion with his hand for Ushio to step to the side. “Ah, sorry, mom, but Ushio isn’t the biggest fan of being touched. Could you give him some space, please?”
“Ah, of course!” Nanaki’s mom immediately fixes Ushio with an apologetic gaze. “I’m sorry, dear. I’m Nanamegi Satsuki, Nanaki’s mother. It’s really nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so many things about you.”
“You have?”
“Nanaki told me all about your baking skills! It was just endless praise from this one. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so passionate about someone’s food before,” Satsuki says, poking Nanaki’s cheek.
Ushio’s lips curl into a satisfied smile. He already knew that Nanaki enjoys his sweets, but he must seriously love them for him to be telling his mother about them. It does something funny to Ushio’s heart, but he ignores it for the sake of teasing Nanaki. “Is that so?”
“Mom, stop!” Nanaki hisses, batting her hand away. His cheeks are pink; it’s oddly endearing. “Haha, don’t listen to her.”
Satsuki’s smile suggests she could continue, but instead she takes Ushio’s bag from his hand and ushers the two of them inside. “Anyway, come on in. It’s cold out here. We’re just in the middle of cooking dinner. Go greet your father and brother, then you can go upstairs and get settled.”
The house is warm and smells delicious, Ushio’s mouth watering within seconds. There are family photos adorning the mint walls, individual ones of each person and several of all of them together. There’s one of a young Nanaki receiving a guitar on Christmas morning, a wide grin on his face. How cute. He gets a real homely vibe from the Nanamegi’s, and it makes him a little anxious to be here. He isn’t exactly used to places like this.
“Hey, Ushio,” Nanaki whispers, catching him by the sleeve before they go into the kitchen. He holds out a gloved hand towards him as if it’s the most casual thing in the world. “Wanna hold hands?”
Ushio raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“You seem nervous,” Nanaki says sheepishly. The light flush from before is still present on his face. “I dunno, I thought maybe it’d be okay through gloves for just a minute.”
“You…” Ushio sighs. He hates this guy, he really does. “Fine. Just for a minute, okay?”
Nanaki’s smile greatly resembles his mother’s. Carefully, as if he may break, he takes Ushio’s hand in his, his grip gentle but reassuring. Ushio’s heart jumps to his throat, but not for the reason it usually does in situations resulting in contact. They’re holding hands. Ushio hasn’t held hands with someone since he was five, when he and Muneuji would run around attached at the hip. He certainly never imagined he would hold Nanaki’s hand, the same guy who goes out of his way to insult him over nothing on a weekly basis. It’s unexpectedly comforting.
Nanaki leads him into the kitchen, where his father and brother are clad in gaudy aprons as they prepare dinner. They turn their attention to them as they enter, and Ushio holds onto Nanaki a little tighter.
“Nanaki!” A young man slightly taller and equally as handsome as Nanaki says, abandoning the carrots he was chopping to make his way over to them. His hair is long enough to be tied back into a ponytail, exposing pierced ears and a small neck tattoo. Ushio assumes this is his older brother, Mutsuki. “It’s good to see you again. And I take it this is the boyfriend?”
“Um, I’m Kurama Ushio. It’s really nice to meet you both,” he greets, addressing Nanaki’s father as well. Even with the little grey streaks in his black hair, he’s still been blessed with good looks. His eyes are kind and the same colour as Nanaki’s, and he has a sort of refined air surrounding him. “Thank you very much for having me.”
“It’s no trouble at all, son,” Nanaki’s father says warmly. “I’m Nanamegi Yoshiki, and this is our eldest, Mutsuki. Thank you for being with Nanaki. He tells us a lot about everyone in the daytime group, but he talks about you the most. I’m glad you feel the same way he does.”
“Dad!” Nanaki exclaims. “Oh my god, can you all stop talking?!”
“It’s true, Ushio-kun,” Mutsuki says, a mischievous grin on his face. “You should’ve seen his face when he was talking about your sweets. That was the face of a kid in love, alright.”
I have seen it, Ushio thinks. But that love is probably just directed towards the sweets, not him. Nanaki likes the chief, after all.
“Onii!” Nanaki elbows his brother roughly, sending him into a fit of giggles. He then turns to Ushio, face red instead of pink now. “Haha, how embarrassing…”
“I think it’s cute,” Ushio quips, leaning into Nanaki’s space ever so slightly. “I didn’t realise you like me that much. Although, I suppose you never do anything halfheartedly, do you?”
Satsuki makes her return as Nanaki fumbles stupidly for an answer, placing her hands on Nanaki’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get these coats off before you overheat.”
Nanaki makes eye contact with Ushio for a split second before glancing away, letting go of Ushio’s hand as his mother takes his coat off for him. Ushio always got the sense that he’s somewhat spoiled, but it’s funny to see in the flesh. Thinking about that is also a good distraction for how empty his hand feels now.
Once they’ve shed their outer layers, Nanaki shows Ushio upstairs to his room, where Satsuki has already dropped their bags off. It’s spacey, like the rest of the house; sometimes Ushio forgets how rich Nanaki is. There are three guitars propped up around the room, and a few certificates detailing unlove’s success framed on the wall. The bedsheets are a muted shade of green, and there’s a goat plushie similar to the one he has at HAMA House on the pillows. The bed itself is large enough to fit two, but…
“Oi, Panda. Where exactly am I sleeping? Where’s the guest room?”
“Guest room? Do you know how suspicious they’d get if we slept in different rooms?” Nanaki asks incredulously. “It’s fine, we don’t need to share the bed. We have a futon; you can take the bed.”
“Hah? It’s your house. I’ll take the futon.”
“Well, you’re my guest. I want you to take the bed.”
“No, you take it.”
“Ushio, come on. Can’t you just be a little more agreeable for the next couple days?”
“...Fine. If you insist that badly.”
“Thank you,” Nanaki sighs, taking a seat on the bed. “How are you feeling? Was the, um, hand thing okay? You weren’t uncomfortable or anything?”
Ushio pulls out the chair behind Nanaki’s desk and sits down so he’s facing Nanaki. “...It was okay. I don’t think I can handle much more than that, though.”
“I’m glad. I actually thought it was kinda nice…” Nanaki trails off, averting his gaze with a nervous smile. “No, nevermind. Forget I said that.”
“No, I–I agree,” Ushio mumbles, feeling oddly pleased when Nanaki visibly lights up at that. “I’ve never held hands with someone like that before. I didn’t mind it.”
“Oh,” Nanaki says, expression somewhat melancholic. “Me neither.”
An awkward silence settles over the room, and after a few minutes in that atmosphere, Nanaki gets up to fetch the futon from his brother’s room. The second he’s out of sight, Ushio buries his face in his hands with a muffled groan. Seriously, what is he doing?! He can’t be feeling this way over Nanaki. Despite what his family seems to think, it’ll never be mutual. Ushio will just end up getting hurt. God, why did he agree to this? He should’ve just let Akuta go, even if his terrible romance skills would’ve had them busted within minutes. Stupid Nanaki and his stupid handsome face and his stupid voice and his stupid kind heart and his stupid everything.
Half an hour or so later, they’re called down for dinner. A delicious looking hotpot has been prepared; Ushio hasn’t eaten since breakfast that morning, so he’s rather excited to tuck in. His expectations are met from the first bite, and he finds himself envying that Nanaki got to grow up eating such amazing cooking on a regular basis. Although, he does wonder how Nanaki ended up being such a shit cook if the people he was raised by are this good.
Nanaki’s family takes turns asking questions about their relationship as they eat: who confessed first, how long they’ve been together, have they kissed yet, etc. Much to Ushio’s displeasure, they went with Nanaki’s Christmas market story. Ushio and Nanaki manage to stay on the same page for the most part until Mutsuki asks Nanaki what he likes about Ushio and he goes on this stupidly long tangent that leaves butterflies in Ushio’s stomach. He isn’t sure whether Nanaki is just making these things up or if he really feels like that, but either way, it renders Ushio somewhat confused for the rest of dinner.
Once everyone has finished eating, Mutsuki drags Nanaki and his father to his room to show them something, so Ushio remains downstairs with Satsuki, offering to help her with the dishes. She declines at first, but Ushio insists until she gives in with a smile. “You’re very sweet, Ushio-kun. I’m glad Nanaki is with someone like you.”
“O-Of course,” Ushio says, unnaturally flustered. His sharp tongue and quick wit seemed to instinctively retract when he entered the house. “I’m lucky to have Nanaki as well.”
“I assume he’s told you about his past with love?” Satsuki asks. Ushio nods. “He falls in love pretty easily, and he can’t seem to hold his feelings back. He always ends up liking people who don’t feel the same way, and it’s caused him so much pain over the years. But… now you’ve come along. He looks so happy with you. He has a sparkle in his eye I’ve only ever seen when he’s playing music. I suppose what I’m trying to say is… Thank you for loving him.”
“...You don’t have to thank me, Nanamegi-san. Honestly, I… I didn’t like him very much when we first met.” The words spill from Ushio’s lips before he can stop himself. “But as I got to know him, I realised that there’s more to him than meets the eye. Even if he went out of his way to tease me, he would still be looking out for me at the end of the day. I can’t imagine it would be easy for him, who has so much love to give, to date someone like me, who can barely even hold his hand. But he always respects my personal space and puts my comfort first. Seriously, he’s too kind. If anyone should be happy here, it’s me.”
“Ushio-kun…” Satsuki gives him a knowing smile. “Oh, dearie. You really do like him a lot, don’t you?”
Oh, Ushio thinks. I do.
Well, fuck.