Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Something’s wrong.

Ken pauses outside the school gates. He absentmindedly steps aside as some of his rowdier classmates move past him, going home to happy, complete families.

He looks around, but nothing’s out of the ordinary. Just a bunch of kids excited that the day has ended, and exhausted teachers trying to maintain some semblance of control at the end of the school day.

It’s normal. So very, frustratingly normal.

But Ken still couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his stomach. There is something very wrong right now. But what?

Maybe, if he was just a regular kid like all those around him, he would be able to convince himself he’s just imagining things. But he’s a member of S.E.E.S. He’s seen the Dark Hour. He’s not going to ignore his own instincts when it’s gotten him this far.

Ken starts walking again, changing his destination from the train station to Gekkoukan High. It’s closer than the dorm, and by the time he arrives, the others should be let out of class. Yamagishi or Aigis would be able to tell what’s wrong better than he can.

He does his best acting like everything is alright, but the uncomfortable feeling increasingly haunts him on his walk. He hopes it doesn’t show on his face, but he can’t bring himself to smile.

But it’s not like anyone bothers to look at him anyway, so it probably doesn’t matter.

Instead, Ken focuses on the twinge in his side, courtesy of last night’s venture into Tartarus. The shadows were particularly tough now that they’re fairly high into the tower, and the expedition was longer than normal.

One shadow had landed a brutal team-wide attack near the end of their run, and by the time Ken healed the others, he had practically no energy to heal himself.

Sanada had to carry him on his back all the way to the dorm, which was mortifying. You should conserve your energy better, Sanada had told him.

His team had assumed he was just tired, and Ken hadn’t bothered correcting them. He already has to deal with the fact that he’s years younger than them and not as useful, no need to add more disadvantages on top of that.

The injury isn’t dangerous, anyway. Sure, it left a giant bruise that’s blooming across his abdomen, and it’s made his sleep absolutely miserable, and he’s so exhausted that he could barely stay awake in class, but he’s fine!

Ken gets side-checked by a few other elementary schoolers on their way home. He groans and holds his side, taking deep breaths and holding in the urge to vomit.

…ok, he kinda just wants to drop like a sack of flour and never get up again. Even bending over sends a wave of pain all the way to his toes. But he doesn’t think anything’s broken, and he’s seen Sanada walk off with worse injuries.

He’ll be fine.

He arrives at the high school, only slightly limping from the dulling pain. Class should be ending just about now, so it’s only a matter of time before the others come out and see him.

He leans against the stone wall next to the gate with no small amount of relief, then takes a moment to look around. The off feeling hasn’t left him despite the new location, and something suspicious nibbles at the corner of his mind.

He’s watching some cars go by, and—

Wait.

There. Partially obscured by the trees across the street. A man who definitely doesn’t belong, staring right at him.

Ken doesn’t recognize him. He’s tall and lanky, shirtless for some reason, with long, wavy, light hair. He’s already looking at Ken when their eyes meet, and the man gives him a smile that strikes him right down to the bone.

In the next blink, he’s gone. Almost like he was just a trick of the light.

But Ken knows better.

He breaks out in a cold sweat. Someone’s been following him, all the way from his school.

And he only saw him because the man let him.

No matter how much Ken looks, he can’t find a glimpse of him again. But Ken can sense that he’s still there, watching him, stalking him. He’s never felt more like a little kid until now.

It’s not until Ken’s been standing outside the high school gates for ten minutes that he finally remembers that the second-years are on a one-day field trip, and that Sanada and Kirijo went with them as supervisors.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could he have forgotten? They were talking about it just yesterday. He must be more out of it than he thought.

Ken feels childish for even thinking about it, but he really wants one of them here right now. Just to make him feel a little bit safer, even if it makes him look weak.

And, well, he was hoping for Sanada and Kirijo, in particular.

Sanada would have helped him without hesitation, just like he had last night. He’s awesome like that; powerful, commanding, confident. Everything Ken wants to be, everything he is not.

Sanada means rough pats with his hand, the ruffling of his hair that Ken would bat away but actually loved, the proud smiles when Ken landed an attack, the eyes on his back that always made him feel protected even in the depths of Tartarus.

And Kirijo, she’s just amazing.

When Ken first met her, he was wary of her. Her demeanor was just like every adult that pretends they care, only to further their own interests when his back is turned.

But Kirijo is different. She actually cares, and would do anything to help not just Ken, but the rest of them too.

Kirijo means stern yet kind words when she helped him with homework, late night tea for when he couldn’t sleep, words of confidence and safety when even Yuki doesn’t know how to proceed, and safety net in the dark.

Not that Ken wouldn’t mind the others‘ company right now, but the second-years always seem so busy with each other, and Sanada and Kirijo always felt so safe and dependable and—

(He's scared.)

Ken’s never been stalked before. Why would anyone have bothered to? He’s just an orphan, unloved and unwanted.

But, no, don’t stalkers go after the vulnerable? The women, the young, the old. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about Ken himself.

He’s heard of ones that go after little kids, the kind his mother used to warn him about back when everything was normal and bearable and livable, and a shiver goes through him at the thought.

He doesn’t know what to do.

Sure, he’s more than capable of defending himself, but right now he’s at a severe disadvantage.

His persona doesn’t function outside of the Dark Hour, despite being able to hear Nemesis’ quiet voice in his head, and he doesn’t have any of his spears with him, and the school campus is rapidly emptying, and he’s going to be all alone soon.

Ken jumps in place, heart racing. No, he can’t be alone right now. He needs to leave before it’s too late.

He quickly makes his way towards the train station. If he makes it to the dorm, he’ll be able to protect himself. Koromaru will be there, so he won’t be alone, and maybe the others will be back from their trip already.

But what if…

No, he shouldn’t think like that. Koromaru’s smart, and loyal, and brave, and Ken will have his spear at the dorm, and it will all turn out ok.

Ken looks around him as he weaves his way to the station, but he can’t spot that man again among the throngs of people around him. He feels claustrophobic, anyway.

He bumps his side a few times, but the adrenaline keeps the pain to a minimum. His stalker knows that Ken had spotted him, but Ken still tries to maintain a calm exterior. There’s no sense in panicking.

He has a plan, he’ll be fine.

The station is packed, as is usual for this time of day. Ken relaxes just a smidge, the end in sight, but there again, a glint at the corner of his eye, at the door, the man staring at him in a gleam of gold, no, no, no.

Ken spins on his heel and scrambles away before his mind can catch up with what he saw. The nausea crashes back into him. He needs to go.

He runs into a back alley without thinking about it. He regrets it immediately, because there are a lot less people here, and he’s heard this place is dangerous from Iori, and the stalker can just follow him here and get him alone and, and—

Someone shifts behind him. “Amada?”

Ken lets out a high-pitched squeak and whirls around.

The hammering of his heart calms down slightly when he sees that it’s Aragaki, slouching and looking down at him with a raised eyebrow.

Ken’ll kick himself later for the relief he feels right now, but for once he’s glad to see him.

“Oh, um,” Ken stutters, shifting on his feet. It’s just him and Aragaki in the alley, but he’s sure that the man is watching still, just out of sight. “Hi,” he finishes lamely.

He’s avoided talking to Aragaki ever since the teen re-joined S.E.E.S, because what would he say to this, this murderer who ruined his life?

This might be the first time they’ve ever stood in front of each other without someone like Sanada or Yuki to act as a buffer.

After an awkward beat of silence, Aragaki just sighs and shakes his head. “Get out of here,” he grunts, already turning away. “This ain’t no place for a kid.”

Normally, Ken would bristle at being called a kid, especially by him, but his nerves are already frayed past the point of no return.

So instead, Ken puts aside all his pride. He grits his teeth and asks, “Can you walk me back to the dorm?”

Ken can feel his face start to flush before the sentence even leaves his mouth. He almost wants to snatch the words back, but it’s too late now. He waits to be laughed at and sent away anyway, because why would Aragaki even bother to help him?

But Aragaki actually…pauses, at that. He looks back down at Ken, a curious expression on his face. “Why can’t you make your own way home?”

Ken opens and closes his mouth a few times. For a second, he wants to say never mind and run to the train, because it’s just right there and he really doesn’t want to be around Aragaki.

But he still feels nauseous and the stalker is still watching him, Ken knows he is, and his side is starting to really hurt.

But he chokes on his words when he goes to explain, so instead Ken wraps his arms around his stomach, trying not to brush against the bruise on his side, and gives Aragaki the widest eyes he could bring himself to make.

“I don’t feel so good,” he reluctantly whines. And after a second, “Please?”

Please work, please work, please work. He doesn’t want to explain his weakness, and he definitely doesn’t want to be left alone. He hasn’t used this trick since his mother was still alive.

Aragaki stares down at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Ken starts sweating, already drawing up a backup plan when Aragaki inevitably refuses.

Then, impossibly, Aragaki sighs once more and agrees. “Come on, kid. Let’s go.”

What? Did he just imagine that?

No, he didn’t, because Aragaki jerks his head towards the train station, and Ken stumbles by his side with shaky, shocked, relieved legs.

Aragaki is so much taller than him, taller than anybody he knows, so frustratingly tall where Ken’s always been smaller than all the other kids, but the teen keeps pace with him despite that.

Ken can feel Aragaki’s eyes on him and it’s suffocating, but even that’s better than the stalker’s gaze, which has suddenly disappeared.

Not that Ken trusts that quite just yet.

They make it onto the train bound for the dorm without much trouble, aside from a few suspicious side-eyed looks at Aragaki from the security. The teen ignores them with practiced ease, and Ken follows his lead.

It’s only when the doors close and the train jolts to a start that Ken finally, finally, relaxes.

The sudden weight of the adrenaline crashing has him slumping in his seat, and he almost doesn’t notice Aragaki tense at the movement, though thankfully silence remains between them.

Ken takes deep, long breaths, just like his mother used to teach him when he was upset. His head feels heavy, and he’s almost dizzy with relief.

Safe, he’s safe, even as contradictory that thought is when he’s so near Aragaki.

The train is fairly packed, so they’re forced to sit close to each other. For once, Aragaki isn’t his biggest threat, so Ken’s eyes bounce among the other passengers, trying to reassure himself that they left his stalker back at the station.

He’s going back to the dorm. He’ll be with Koromaru and the others soon, he’ll have his spear and his gear and he won’t be scared of that man anymore.

His eyes grow heavier and heavier with the rocking of the train. Aragaki is a solid, warm, foreboding wall next to him.

The train sways around a turn, and he sinks into the teen’s side, the pain of his own side far away from his mind, and he just feels so tired, and he’s safe now, so it should be ok to close his eyes, just for a little while…

Ken wakes up. Or, he thinks he wakes up.

His head hurts and his thoughts are fuzzy. Memories float around in his head, but they slip through his fingers when he tries to focus on them. After a bit, he gives up. It’s much easier to stay in limbo.

He feels a rocking motion, and the sound of someone breathing.

He thinks that he’s on a train—no, he’s being carried in someone’s arms. Just like when he used to stay up too late and his mom carried him to bed.

He hears the sounds of cars, and people, and he smells cologne, but he’s too comfy to open his eyes, wrapped tight as he is.

Someone huffs above him, the air blowing against Ken’s hair. “Go back to sleep, kid. I got you.”

The voice is familiar, but Ken’s already back under before he can place it.

Ken wakes up, properly this time, under the covers of his bed.

He sits up slowly, being gentle with his side. He feels like one giant open wound. He looks down and sees that he’s still in his school uniform, and the memories of the day slam back into him.

Ken groans and sinks back under the covers. That must mean that Aragaki carried him from the train station to the dorm. How could he let that happen? He hopes no one else saw him…

His side doesn’t hurt as much as it did, at least.

After a few minutes of internal screaming, he slips out of his bed. He peeks outside of his blinds; it’s already dark. How long has he been asleep?

Ken slowly opens his door, and closes it behind him with a soft click. He can hear voices coming from the lobby downstairs, but the second-floor hallway is empty except for him.

He almost wants to turn back and sleep until morning, but he knows he’s too antsy to do that now, what with his mind being filled with thoughts of that man and Aragaki.

So, he takes a deep breath and heads downstairs, stopping when the lobby comes into view.

Everyone in S.E.E.S is gathered in the living room, discussing something in low voices, almost like they’re having one of their meetings. Only Ikutsuki is missing, Ken notices with no small amount of relief.

He’s never been comfortable around any adult since that day two years ago.

Aragaki is there, sitting on one of the chairs. His severe expression contrasting with the plush red fabric makes a comedic sight. His beanie is gripped in his hands, leaving his hair a frizzy mess.

Aside from Aragaki, Ken can only see Iori and Yamagishi’s faces.

Iori is frowning at whatever is being said, which is a pretty disturbing expression to see from the normally jubilant guy, and he’s pacing across the room in a bout of nervous energy.

Yamagishi's eyes are wide and shiny, and she’s biting her lip with an intensity that might break skin if she keeps it up. With a jolt, Ken realizes she might be crying, and he almost trips down the rest of the steps in surprise.

Unfortunately, that draws the attention of Aigis, whose head immediately turns towards him. Ken sighs and walks the rest of the way into the living room, knowing he won’t be able to escape Aigis’ superior senses.

Ken’s never been the most comfortable around Aigis. She’s a bit odd, as hypocritical as it is for him to think that, and she spends most of her time around Yuki anyway.

Ken’s never been the sole focus of her attention before now, and he tries not to feel like a mouse ready for dissection. His hands are clammy.

The discussion comes to an abrupt halt, and Ken realizes belatedly that he should have been listening to what they were saying instead of staring at their expressions.

“Amada,” Takeba greets, twisting in her seat with a smile that even Ken can tell is forced. “Glad to see you’re up. We were just talking about you.”

“Sorry,” Ken says, even though he doesn’t know what exactly he’s apologizing for. The way they’re all looking at him is making him antsy.

They’ve never looked at him that way before. Had he done something wrong?

Kirijo clears her throat, and everyone finally stops looking at him to turn to her. “I am sorry we didn’t notice your injury from last night. We should have been more vigilant in watching our team members.”

Oh. Hm. They were bound to find out at some point, but how did they figure it out? “Don’t feel guilty,” Ken says, not able to quite keep eye-contact. “It’s not your fault. It doesn’t even hurt anymore, anyway.”

Everyone’s quiet at that, and Koromaru whines. Ken doesn’t know why.

Yuki coughs and stands up. The tension in the room dissipates in an instant, and Koromaru comes up to nuzzle Ken’s hand.

“It’s late; we should continue this tomorrow.” Yuki brushes his hair out of his eyes, looking pointedly at everyone. He’s really come into himself as leader these last few months, and Ken finds himself going up the stairs back to his room without complaint.

Yuki gives him a small pat on his back, leaning down and whispering, “I’ll make sure they don’t gang up on you again.” Ken smiles up at him in gratitude before heading into his own room.

Koromaru bounds in before he can close the door behind him. “You want to sleep with me?” Ken asks, surprised. Koromaru usually sleeps down in the lobby, near the door as if guarding them.

But tonight Koromaru jumps on his bed, rolling around and barking in his sheets.

Ken smiles and gently crawls on the bed next to him, getting a faceful of fur immediately. They stay curled around each other until he falls asleep, thoughts of the day fading from his mind.

He doesn’t realize that he never told anyone else about the stalker.

Chapter Text

White fur, everywhere.

Ken wakes up with Koromaru laying right on top of him, a warm weight. He’s snoozing contentedly, like he isn’t choking Ken with all of his fluff. Ken sputters, trying to get stray bits of fur out of his mouth, but the dog just snuggles closer.

“Koro-chan, get off,” he grunts. He wiggles out from under Koromaru and pushes himself up, blinking a bit at the morning light streaming through his curtains.

He grimaces when he looks down and sees that he’s still wearing his school uniform from yesterday. His side is sore to the touch, but it feels noticeably better than yesterday. What a relief.

Speaking of yesterday, he wants to put all of that behind him and forget about it. Yeah, he’s still freaked out about the guy that was following him, but thankfully it appears that he didn’t follow Ken all the way back to the dorm, so he doesn’t know where he lives.

Ken’ll just have to be extra vigilant from now on.

“Sorry for trapping you in my room all night.” Ken scratches behind Koromaru’s ears. He had closed the door behind them last night without thinking. “Let’s go for a walk before I get ready, yeah?”

He keeps his school uniform on, as he has a spare to change into for later in the morning. The one he’s wearing is rumpled beyond repair, anyhow.

He opens his door, Koromaru trotting right behind him. On the other side of the door, however, is Yamagishi with one hand raised, as if she were about to knock. It’s still early in the morning, but both of them are known to be early risers. Unlike Takeba and Iori, who are as opposite from morning people as you can get.

“Good morning, Amada,” she says, smiling gently. If she’s put-off by his messy appearance, she doesn’t show it. She’s kind like that. “I wanted to give you something before you left.”

She holds up a basket with her other hand. It’s small and woven, only about the size of his head, but it’s filled with various medicine packets and creams. Ken takes it from her hand carefully, surprised by its weight. It looks expensive.

Yamagishi must read his bewildered expression, because she explains, “Kirijo-senpai and I were worried about you last night, so we decided to make you a gift basket. It’s also an apology for not noticing that you were still injured.”

She fiddles with her hands a bit, before continuing, “We’re supposed to watch out for you better than that.”

“But it wasn’t your fault.” Ken doesn’t understand why everyone was making such a big deal about it. They get injured all the time in Tartarus, and it’s not the first time one of them has walked away with bruises or limps.

Well, it’s the first time Ken’s been the one with the injuries, but it shouldn’t be that different, right?

Yamagishi has a pinched expression on her face, but she doesn’t push. “Still,” she says, “we decided that our healers should have back-up supplies in case they overdo it in Tartarus. We’re giving one to Takeba as well.”

Ken feels a bit better hearing that he’s not the only one getting gifts. They’re not treating him differently. “Thank you. I’m sure this will be helpful in the future.” He’s already thinking about their next Tartarus run, whenever Yuki calls for it.

Yamagishi smiles wide at his words, looking proud.

She offers to walk Koromaru, and Ken almost refuses until he actually thinks about stepping outside, which makes his skin itch like a rash had spread all over him.

He wants to ask her to use her persona and see if she can sense whoever's been following him, just in case. But poor Koromaru really needs to go on that walk, he’s been whining for a while now, so he lets them go without another word.

Ken moves downstairs to the dorm kitchen, hoping for a quick breakfast that he hopefully won’t throw back up if the nerves hit him later. The kitchen isn’t particularly big, especially in comparison to the size of the dorm, but it’s still Ken’s favorite room in the building.

It’s cozy, and bears the marks of the rest of S.E.E.S within. Sanada’s protein powder sits in the cabinet, Iori’s empty takeout containers in the trash, Kirijo’s teas on the counter, Yuki’s coffee blend right next to it, Takeba’s sweets on a plate, Yamagishi’s drinks in the fridge, Koromaru’s treats in the freezer. Even Aragaki’s various cooking supplies pilfer through the drawers.

The only one who doesn’t use the kitchen is Aigis, for obvious reasons, but even she contributed some cookware to the counters. He can see all of the team here, and it feels a bit safer than everywhere else because of it.

Ken pads into the room, already cheered up just by being there. Sanada and Yuki are present, mixing something dubious in the blender. Seems like everyone else is still asleep or out already.

Ken almost laughs at the sight. Of everyone in the dorm, these two have been utilizing the shared kitchen the most. And honestly, they’re kind of good at it. Better than Iori, and especially Yamagishi (no offence to her). But it still doesn’t mean that watching them treat cooking as a workout isn’t funny.

Yuki spots him almost immediately, ever-observant. Even if he does look like he just rolled out of bed five seconds ago. “Good morning, Amada. Sleep well?”

Ken nods, and moves to the cupboard to grab some cereal. Before he can open it, however, Sanada brings an arm in front of him to stop him. “Not today. I made you breakfast.”

“You didn’t have to,” Ken says, but his stomach is already grumbling. He wouldn’t refuse Sanada’s cooking. It seems he had learned a thing or two from Aragaki over the years, because he’s the best cook in the dorm outside of him.

“Don’t worry about it.” Sanada ruffles his hair. Ken always liked when he did that, though usually he only does so when Ken lands a good hit on a Shadow.

The three of them move to the dining table, Yuki and Samara apparently having finished their concoction, which turned out to be another protein shake. On the table is a plate of pancakes with chocolate chips inside them, next to a jar of maple syrup that looks brand new.

“How did you know I like chocolate,” Ken asks meekly. He hopes Sanada didn’t make them for him because he thought he was just a kid, and all kids like sweets. That’s just not true.

“I really wanted some,” Yuki says, a serene smile on his face. “And we had extra batter afterwards. Chocolate pancakes are the best kind of pancakes.”

Ken wholeheartedly agrees with that. His mom used to make them for him on the morning of his birthdays, which made them extra special. Thinking about his mom still brings a stab of sadness and anger, but Sanada and Yuki’s presence makes up for it.

Sanada goes back to the kitchen to store the protein powder in the cabinet, but Yuki pulls out a chair and sits next to him even though he wasn’t eating. Instead, he brings out a book, something titled Gardening Tips, and reads silently while Ken eats.

The chocolate melts in his mouth, having been freshly made. It’s sweet, but not overly so. The pancakes are a bit tough from being overcooked, but it’s one of the best breakfasts Ken’s ever had.

He can’t believe Sanada made breakfast for him. It’s not like he hasn’t cooked for the others before, but something about this feels more special. Ken savors each bite.

“So,” Yuki starts, after Ken had cleared his plate at an embarrassing speed. “Would you like to tell me what’s really been bothering you?”

“What do you mean?” Ken is already starting to sweat. Yuki can be scarily perceptive when he wants to be, despite, or maybe because of, keeping to himself all the time.

“Shinjiro told me about what happened. You also seemed more on edge than usual.” Yuki closed the book and turned to face him, frown on his face. “Did something happen?”

Ken doesn’t know how to answer that.

He looks down at his plate, searching for words that keep escaping his grasp. Yuki opens his book once more, giving him the time and space to compose himself, and at that moment Ken is filled with a rush of gratitude that it’s Yuki who is their leader.

Ken has to beat back his natural hesitation, but it’s not a good idea to keep this a secret, he decides. Yes, maybe it will make him appear weak, but what if the stalker has something to do with the Dark Hour? He picked Ken to follow instead of all the other kids at his school. That must mean something, right?

And maybe he was just imagining it, but he thinks he saw yellow eyes that day. He was too far away to make sure, but the gold reminded him too much of Shadows to be comfortable.

“Well,” Ken starts, his voice already cracking. “I think I was being followed last night.”

Yuki sits straight at that, swiftly shutting the book close. “As in, by a stranger?”

“Yeah, I didn’t recognize him.” Ken shifts in his seat, feeling the nausea from yesterday slowly creeping back in. “He followed me from my school all the way to the train station.” He didn’t want to admit that he first went to the high school looking for them. He’s just omitting a needless detail, that’s all.

Yuki has an intense expression on his face. He’s gotten a little paler than normal. “What did he look like?”

Ken’s a bit surprised that Yuki believed him, just like that. He thought he would have to give some proof first. That’s usually what happens. Back when he claimed his mother was murdered to the police, they just brushed it off as a grieving kid’s imagination.

“He had long gray hair, and he was kind of thin and gangly. He also wasn’t wearing a shirt.”

“Excuse me?” Yuki sputters, at the same time Sanada yells “WHAT” from the kitchen.

Yuki glares at Sanada’s direction, but Ken is more preoccupied with his own thoughts. Why did they react like that…?

Oh. Oh man.

“It’s not like that!” Ken waves his arms around, which does little to calm down Sanda who has stomped his way back to the dining table. “He didn’t touch me or anything.”

“But he could have,” Sanada grunts. He crosses his arms, and his scowl is the most enraged Ken’s ever seen it. “Why didn’t you tell us this yesterday?”

Ken doesn’t really have an answer for that. Between everything that happened and his own pain and exhaustion, it really had slipped his mind.

His silence wasn’t a good enough answer for Sanada, who starts pacing, getting even more heated up. “God, Ken. Do you even realize how dangerous that is? What were you thinking?”

Yuki stands up and steps in front of him. “Cool it, Sanada.”

But Sanada just throws his hands up in the air. “Don’t tell me to calm down. How are you so calm about this? Are you even worried?”

Yuki’s expression turns blank. “That’s not fair.”

Silence hangs between them. Ken feels like an intruder. He often does when his seniors talk amongst themselves. It becomes glaringly obvious that he’s not really the same as them. They don’t talk to him as their friend, or their equal, so he’s often left out of the loop.

Like right now.

Eventually, Sanada sighs. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I think…I think I need to go take a walk.” He looks down at Ken with a guilty expression, then back at Yuki. “Take care of him for me, will you?”

Ken hates that they talk like he isn’t even here.

“Of course,” Yuki agrees easily, and Sanada leaves quickly without a glance back.

Yuki comes back to sit next to Ken, but Ken doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s his fault the two of them fought. “I need to get ready for school, sorry.”

“Ken, wait—” but Ken’s already bounding up the stairs as fast as his injury would let him. Mercifully, Yuki doesn’t follow. He probably realizes that getting more information is a fruitless endeavor. It’s not like Ken has anything more to say, anyway.

He quickly changes into his spare uniform, not forgetting to put on one of the ointments Yamagishi had given him. It’s cooling on his bruised skin, and he thinks he can get through the day a lot better than the last one.

No one’s in the lobby by the time he leaves the dorm. Everyone must’ve already left for school. Ken feels a pang of regret that he didn’t catch Yamagishi before she left, but he’ll just talk to her after school.

That is, if Yuki and Sanada don’t tell her about the stalker first.

They seem to like talking about him more than they like talking to him.

Ken pats Koromaru goodbye, withstanding a few happy licks, and leaves the building. Only to find Aragaki loitering next to the entrance, looking like he has all the time in the world.

Ken knows Aragaki doesn’t go to school, but he’s usually as far away from the dorm as he could be when no one’s there. It doesn’t make sense that he’s still here. Ken tries to move past him without acknowledging his presence, but Aragaki smoothly steps in front of him. He was waiting for him.

“There you are,” Aragaki grunts, somehow immune to how strange this all is. “Let’s go.”

Um. “Go where?”

“School,” Aragaki says, like that’s obvious.

It takes a second for things to click in place in Ken’s head. “You want to walk me to school?”

“What’s with that face?” Aragaki smirks. “You asked me to walk you home just yesterday.”

“Uh.” Ken’s mind goes blank. “That was different.”

“Sure, kid. Don’t want to be late, do you?”

Ken can’t argue with that. Nor can he think of a way to get rid of Aragaki by himself, who is stubbornly sticking to his side like glue as they walk to the train station.

Being this close to Aragaki makes him feel untethered. He’s supposed to be mad, he is mad, but he’s also not. It’s an out of body feeling he can’t describe, and it’s completely unpleasant.

Ken tries to piece together why Aragaki is doing this. “Did Yuki tell you?” It’s the only reason why Aragaki would act so weirdly; if Yuki told him to. Aragaki has an obvious soft spot for their leader that’s been developing lately, unmitigated by the history he had with Sanada and Kirijo.

Aragaki only tilts his head. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything else.

Cool. So cool.

They walk in silence the rest of the way. Like last time, Aragaki walks slower than normal, so Ken doesn’t have to jog to keep up with his long strides.

When they get to the train, it’s packed with students from different schools. They end up only finding one seat, which Aragaki gives to Ken without a word. Aragaki stands nearby the whole time, gripping the handrail to keep steady, almost like he’s shielding him from everyone else.

And despite all of Ken’s negative feelings about the older teen, the part that was so scared yesterday is grateful for his presence.

After the train, near the spot where Ken had asked him to walk home yesterday, Aragaki stops and turns to him, slouching down. “I need you to do me a favor.”

What favor could a guy like him possibly need? “Yes?”

“If you ever see that guy again, come straight to me. I’ll deal with him.” He looks so serious while saying this, that Ken can only nod in agreement in return.

The silence between them simmers down from tense to a mutual understanding, and Aragaki leaves Ken at his school with a brief nod goodbye, that Ken returns before he could think about it.

“Is he your brother,” his seatmate asks, as they file into their morning class.

“No,” Ken says, with less venom than he expected.

Classes go…fine. As good as they could be, anyhow.

The balm works wonders on his injury, and he’s able to actually pay attention and answer the teacher without a grimace. He avoids his classmates like normal, and spends his free time thinking about what he’ll ask Yamagishi to search for when he gets back.

No one’s waiting for him when he leaves at the end of the day. He fights back the swell of disappointment.

It’s the first time he’s been alone since being with Aragaki yesterday, he realizes. What he would give for Koromaru to be by his side right now. No one said they’d be there to pick him up, and the high-school is still in session, so he shouldn’t be feeling disappointed in the first place.

Ken steps onto the sidewalk, feeling a weird sense of deja-vu. But he can’t sense the presence, and no one looks out of place no matter how hard he studies the parents and teachers and even the other students. People would make a big fuss over a shirtless guy in a place like this, so he reassures himself that he’s fine.

For now.

He makes his way to the train station, calming down on the way. But before he gets on the train, he thinks about Aragaki again. He really was trying to help him. In fact, he probably saved him yesterday by agreeing to stay with him, and again this morning.

Maybe…maybe Ken was wrong about him.

Maybe Aragaki isn’t an evil person. Maybe he didn’t deserve to die. Maybe Ken’s purpose is hollow, just like he is.

But where does that leave Ken?

Ken moves out of the way of the bustling crowd, drifting towards a free bench in a hidden corner of the plaza. What does he do now? He doesn’t think he can go through with his plan. It’s stupid. All Aragaki did was walk with him, and even that’s enough to destroy Ken’s willpower.

He’s pathetic.

What’s the point. He knows that the decisive moment, the day he points his spear at his mother’s killer, will end in nothing but failure. His resolve will falter, and for what: the chance to kill a team member, someone Sanada, Kirijo, and Yuki care about.

What was he thinking? What’s wrong with him? Why is he like this?

He’s just selfish, leeching off of everyone’s kindness and being a burden. They’re all going out of their way to care for him after they found out about his injury, and Ken is letting them.

He should just remove himself from the equation. It’ll be better for everyone.

Ken clutches at his hair, curling up onto the bench. No one comes to bother him, or check if he’s ok. He’s invisible to the world around him, like always. He truly doesn’t matter.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, but by the time he looks up, the plaza has mostly emptied and the setting sun has bathed everything in a deep amber light. It’s definitely well past the time everyone normally returns to the dorm. He’s probably needlessly worrying them, again.

The thought of seeing everyone makes him sick to his stomach, but he can’t stay here forever. He’s going to go back, and then he’s going to figure out a way to not bother them ever again.

He gets up from the bench, stretching his stiff muscles. He’s glad he hadn’t cried.

A hand lands on his shoulder from behind. “Hey there, kid.”

It’s not Aragaki.

The man smiles.

Chapter Text

When Ken wakes up, the world is tilted.

No, wait, he’s lying on his side. The ground underneath him is cold and hard. Some kind of rough stone. Dusty.

He moves to get up, but he finds that his hands are tied behind him with what he thinks is rope. He feels awful and clammy and sick, and his head hurts a ton. What happened? He barely recalls meeting the stranger, but everything goes black after that.

He’s in a closed room. There’s no windows. A single lightbulb shines above him, bathing everything in a sickly sheen. Ken stares at it even though it hurts his eyes. He blinks at the dark spots in his vision. It’s hard to focus.

“You’re awake,” someone says to his right.

Ken twists around and comes face to face with the man who had been stalking him.

He’s tall, maybe even taller than Aragaki. His hair is long and tangled, and his eyes are bloodshot. He’s looking down at Ken with a mixture of contempt and amusement. He’s holding a gun in his right hand. A jolt of fear cuts through Ken, and it dissipates some of the fogginess trapping him.

Things start clicking into place in his mind. He must’ve been kidnapped. “Where am I?” Ken asks. Or, tries to ask. His mouth isn’t listening to his brain, and all that comes out is incomprehensible mumbling.

The man tilts his head. “Jin made the drug too strong, huh? Nevermind that; it should wear off soon.”

He then starts pacing the room, smiling to himself. “How long do you think it’ll take them to notice you’re gone? Pretty soon they’re going to come rushing in here to save you, I bet.”

Ken blinks at him, his mind desperately trying to catch up to what he’s saying. He’s a hostage…? He wriggles around a bit, trying to sit up. He feels too vulnerable lying on his side like this. He tries not to think about what’s going to happen to him.

The man tutts, like Ken is merely a misbehaving child. “What’s all that for? And here I thought I gave you such nice accommodations.”

He spreads his arms around the bare and dank room. If this is what he thinks of as “nice accommodations,” then Ken doesn’t want to know what the bad ones look like. Ken wouldn’t be surprised if he gets sick from breathing in the musty air.

“Who are you?” Ken finally manages to push the words through his dry throat. His jaw aches from disuse. He’s given up on sitting up, as the movement made him too dizzy.

The man smiles, the edges curling in a disturbing way. He walks up to Ken and kneels down, patting Ken on the head like he’s just an animal. “I’m Takaya. You could say that I’m an old friend of Shinjiro’s.”

Ken gives him a wide-eyed look. Aragaki knows this guy? Wait, could this be the leader of Strega, the team Chidori worked for? Has Aragaki been working with them—

But Takaya just laughs condescendingly. “Don’t worry your sweet little head about it. We’ve got a bone to pick with him and the rest of your team, that’s why you’re here.”

He gets up and starts pacing the room again. He’s wringing his hands together. He can’t contain his jitters, or maybe it’s excitement. Ken wants to be far, far away from here, but instead he’s trapped with a guy who’s looking forward to hurting his friends.

“Why…?” Ken mutters. He’s starting to regain feeling in the tips of his fingers. The ropes must not have been tied tight, then, but it’s not loose enough to slip out of. He still tries to pull them apart, ignoring the way they slice into the skin of his wrists.

Takaya’s eye twitches. “We’re looking for that annoying little navigator of yours. Chopping down the problem at its root, so to say.”

Ken feels his blood freeze. Yamagishi. They’re after Yamagishi, who’s kind and forgiving and loving no matter what the world throws at her. He wants to kill her.

Ken’s mind runs a mile a minute as Takaya kneels down once more and looks him in the eye. “You wouldn’t happen to know who the navigator is, hm?” He poses the question lightly, but he grips the gun in his right hand tightly.

Ken breathes in deeply. He needs to protect Yamagishi, no matter what. The others might not think of S.E.E.S as a family like he does, but that doesn’t mean he won’t protect them with his life. He can’t let her get hurt. He can’t let it be his fault.

It’s not like he wanted to live anymore, anyway. “I’m the nav—”

And then he’s slapped.

“Stupid boy,” spits Takaya, glaring like he’s looking at something unpleasant. “I know you’re not the navigator.”

Ken’s cheek stings as he gapes up at Takaya. He didn’t even see the hit coming. It’s been a while since he’s been slapped; he forgot how humiliating it is. “How...?”

Takaya narrows his eyes. “If you were the actual navigator, you would have spotted me following you long ago. I only let you see me so you could warn your team about who’s going to take you away.” He smirks smugly.

So it was true—that small nagging feeling that he had only seen Takaya that day because he allowed him to. The thought of Takaya following him and watching him for weeks makes him shiver in disgust.

Takaya smiles joyfully at the movement, eyes like a hawk. “I see you’ve finally noticed what situation you’re in. I don’t think I’ll ever understand Ikutsuki, drafting in a kid like you into this fight. I pity you, but you will see your salvation soon.”

Before Ken can ask what he meant, and how he even knows about Ikutsuki, a loud crash echoes from somewhere close by.

Takaya readjusts his grip on his gun, and hauls Ken up to his feet. Ken’s feet scramble on the dirty ground, desperate for purchase. Blood rushes to his head, making black spots appear at the corners of his visions.

Takaya lowers the gun near Ken’s face, placing a tight grip at the base of his neck to keep in place. “Looks like salvation draws near.”

And at that moment, the door bursts open and in steps Aragaki, alone, though sounds of fighting continue echoing from beyond the doorway. It must be the Dark Hour, Ken thinks distantly. Most of his attention is split between Aragaki’s rage-filled face and the cold gun pressed into his collarbone.

“Took you long enough,” Takaya mocks. Ken notices that his tone is more performative than it was when he was talking to him. He’s deliberately trying to push Aragaki’s buttons. “I almost thought you didn’t care about him, Shinjiro.”

Aragaki practically growls at that. “Let him go, you piece of shit.” He’s tense, and holds his axe threateningly in Takaya’s direction. His eyes bounce rapidly between the gun and Ken’s face. Ken hopes his fear isn’t as obvious on his face as he feels.

Ken’s stuck in the middle of it all, too scared to move.

Takaya shifts. Ken can’t see his face from where he’s standing behind him. “Not until you tell me who your navigator is; I know you have one.”

Aragaki clenches his teeth, but remains silent. Takaya heaves a dramatic sigh. “If you insist,” he says, and the hand that was holding Ken still moves until it’s around his neck, and closes.

Can't breathe, can’t breathe, can’t breathe. Ken is small enough that Takaya’s hand wraps completely around his neck, cutting off his air flow. He tries to bring his hands up to his neck, but they’re still stubbornly tied behind his back.

Distantly, Ken hears Aragaki shouting something, but all he can focus on is his breathing. One breath, one breath out, he tries to tell himself even though it feels impossible.

Black fills his vision. Breathe. Sounds start fading away. Please.

He’s never been so scared before.

He doesn’t want to die. He realizes that now, but it’s too late.

Then, suddenly, he can breathe again. The air going into his throat feels like razor blades, pain making his eyes well up with tears, but he’s so relieved that when Takaya lets him go he just collapses onto the ground, coughing.

It takes him a moment or two to regain his senses. All he can do is listen to the sound of his own rapid heartbeat, crying and choking on his spit.

Bang!

Ken dazedly looks up. Where did that sound come from? He sees Aragaki on the floor across the room, clutching his shoulder. Takaya stands above him, blood dripping down his face and scowl warping his features, holding up a smoking gun.

No, not Aragaki. Please, not Aragaki.

Ken may not have forgiven him, but he doesn’t deserve to die. He has to do something.

Ken wiggles in the ground, adrenaline pushing him to ignore the pain in his throat and wrists. All he can do is turn himself around and kick Takaya in the shin, but anything to distract him from Aragaki.

Takaya looks down at him with disgust in his eyes. He says something, though Ken can’t quite catch what it is.

The last thing Ken sees is the rest of the team bursting through the door, then Takaya’s foot coming down on his face.

…

Ken wakes up to the sound of beeping.

What…?

He opens his eyes, and closes them right after because of the bright light above him. It reminds him a bit too much of the lightbulb in that…room…

Wait. Aragaki, and Takaya, and the gun.

Ken sits straight up, then immediately regrets it because of the pain that echoes throughout his body.

“Woah, woah. Don’t sit up so fast,” someone says. Ken jolts and looks at them, but it’s just Yuki, looking at him with a soft but worried smile.

Yuki brings gentle hands around Ken and lowers him back into the bed. Ken lets him, because he doesn’t think he can stand sitting up any longer with the pain. He tries to look around some more, but his neck screams in protest, so he gives up and looks at Yuki from the corner of his eye.

“I wouldn’t try to speak yet,” Yuki says, tucking Ken into the hospital-issued blanket like a worried mother. He has deep eyebags on his face, and his lips are chapped from dryness. “Your throat is in pretty bad shape.”

Ken brings a weak hand to his throat. He definitely feels the pain. He’s sure that if he looks in the mirror, he’ll find a hand-shaped bruise wrapped around it.

“Here.” Yuki hands him a notepad with a pencil. “For the meantime.”

He presses it gently into Ken’s hands. He’s treating him like he’s made of glass, which makes something ugly twist in his gut. He doesn’t want to be a burden.

Ken picks up the pencil with a shaking hand, and for the first time sees the state of his wrists. They’re bruised black and blue, ropeburn wrapping all around the both of them. They look painful, but Ken can’t feel much of anything right now in them. He must be on some heavy painkillers. If only they worked more on his throat.

He sees Yuki frown at the bruises, and ignores him.

Are the others alright?, he writes with messy handwriting. It took a lot of effort to even write that much, and he’s ashamed of it, even though he knows he shouldn’t be. His wrists just feel so weak right now.

Yuki smiles softly. Fondness plays behind his expression, as it always does when he talks to Ken. “Everyone’s just fine. Only you and Shinjiro got seriously hurt.”

Ken gives him a wide-eyed look, and Yuki hurriedly goes to add, “Shinjiro is recovering well, don’t worry.” Then he has a mysterious smile. “He’ll be glad to know you’ve been thinking about him, though.”

Ken frowns at him. What does that mean?

Before he can think too much about it, however, the door to the room opens.

“I brought some more stuff for Amada,” Sanada says, carrying a heavy box and awkwardly closing the door behind him. He hasn’t noticed that Ken is awake yet. “I told Aigis not to buy more stuffed toys, but she wouldn’t listen.”

Yuki raises his eyebrow. They both wait and watch as Sanada places the box down and stretches. He has the same deep eye-bags Yuki does. They both were probably worried sick for Aragaki.

Sanada finally glances towards them, and his eyes widen comically when they meet Ken’s. Ken’s lips twitch up into a smile despite it all. Something about catching Sanada off guard will always be funny.

“You’re awake!” Sanada practically shouts. Yuki cringes at the volume, and Sanada sends an apologetic look towards him.

Sanada rushes towards the other side of the bed, pulling up a chair and sitting close. “How're you feeling?” he asks, somewhat awkwardly but still earnestly.

I’m fine, Ken writes. It’s true as long as he doesn’t move around too much.

Sanada gives him a disapproving frown at that, but doesn’t push the point. “Everyone’s been thinking about you. They’ll all want to visit you now that you’re awake, but the doctors said we shouldn’t come all at once.”

The thought of the entire team coming and looking at his bruises like these two fills Ken with no small amount of dread, though an even larger part of him longs to see them, if only to apologize for the trouble he’s caused them.

“Any preference on who to see first?” Sanada asks.

Aragaki, Ken writes. He needs to see him, needs to know that he’s ok with his own two eyes.

Sanada frowns with sympathy. “Sorry, kid. He’s not cleared to be walking around just yet. Though, maybe…” He trailers off, eyes glancing towards the door.

Ken looks at him hopefully, but he doesn’t elaborate. “I’ll figure it out,” he says with a smile. He then lightly ruffles Ken’s hair. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Ken could tell that he’s not saying everything he’s holding in, but Sanada has always been a private person. Sanada and Yuki exchange a glance that Ken can’t interpret, then Sanada gets up and says, “I’ll let the others know they can start trickling in.”

And so begins Ken’s barrage of visitors.

Yamagishi comes in first, guilty eyes alight with tears. It seems she found out that Strega had kidnapped him in their search for her. She gives him a bag of candy that she says would help soothe his throat if it hurts. Ken’s proud he did his best to protect her identity. She deserved it.

Then comes Kirijo. Her arms are crossed tightly, but she gives him one of her rare smiles when she sees him. She doesn’t touch him like Sanada did, but her presence is reassuring all the same. Before she leaves, she promises him that something like this will never, ever happen again. Ken believes her.

Next up is Iori and Takeba, who come in together bickering. Ken can tell that they’re just trying to appear normal for his sake, but he appreciates it nonetheless. Iori playfully scolds him for worrying them, which makes Takeba punch him in the shoulder, which starts a whole nother round of bickering that makes Ken smile. They leave with proud smirks on their faces.

Aigis arrives with little fanfare near the end of visiting hours, bringing Koromaru with her. The dog hops up onto Ken’s bed, nuzzling him gently. In Aigis’ hands is another stuffed animal to add to the growing collection she’s amassing for him.

“I don’t know if I can understand the pain you’re going through,” she says, “but I am certain that these will help.”

Ken hates appearing childish, but as he holds the stuffed bear he can’t help but feel safer anyway. “Thank you, Aigis.”

She smiles. It grows more genuine by the day. “You’re welcome.”

But soon, Ken is alone. Visiting hours are done, and the sun is setting.

He wants Aragaki.

Ken rubs his wrists, slightly wincing. If he presses hard enough, he can feel the pain even through the medication he’s on. He knows he shouldn’t, but the pain grounds him. He can hardly believe what’s happened the past few days.

But his mind keeps circling back to one thought. I want to live.

It surprises him, but he knows it’s true. He wants to, no he needs to live. He needs to apologize to Aragaki. He needs to be there for his team. He’s not ready to see his mother yet; he hasn’t done anything he would be proud to tell her.

“Ken?”

Ken looks at the door and his mouth drops in shock. It’s Aragaki, rolling into his room on a wheelchair. The hospital gown fits his frame oddly, and his shoulder and left leg are bandaged tightly. He must’ve been shot twice.

Ken instinctively tries to say Aragaki’s name, forgetting about the state of his throat, but all that comes out are painful coughs. Aragaki hurriedly wheels close to Ken’s bed, placing a large hand on his back for support.

Once his coughing calms down, he reaches for his pencil and notepad. Aragaki is rubbing comforting circles in his back, which does more to relax him than he wants to admit. I thought you wouldn’t come, he writes.

Aragaki frowns at the notepad. “Of course I’d come. Just had to avoid all the nurses. Thankfully Sanada managed to snatch this wheelchair for me.”

Aragaki then looks at Ken’s neck and wrists with an angry grimace. “Are you doing alright?”

Ken almost writes yes, but really thinks about it. He doesn’t want to lie to Aragaki anymore. He slowly shakes his head.

For some reason, Aragaki smiles at that. “Yeah, me neither.”

Ken sits awkwardly for a second, but Aragaki sighs and says “C’mere.” And then Ken is engulfed in a warm hug.

He leans into Aragaki’s arms, closing his eyes, thoughts of Takaya and his pain far, far away. He feels safe.

“We’re sticking together from now on, you hear me?” Aragaki says.

Ken nods. They stay like that for a long time.