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Cas stood there, exhausted. He wasn’t really sure how Dean expected him to react to his outburst. He had been glaring at him for weeks since Mary’s death, either making passive aggressive comments to his face or straight up shutting him out. He was familiar with the cycle of tragedy, silent treatment, and eventual reconciliation that the man he loved tended to follow. Dean Winchester was no mystery to him, and he wasn’t sure he had enough patience for another one of his tirades.
Castiel was so, so tired. He missed Jack and the family that they had built together with the Winchesters. Sometimes, if he let his mind wander, he could imagine Sam as Jack’s uncle, himself as his father, and Dean as his other dad. Sometimes, when he let his mind wander, he hated himself.
In reality, he was stuck with Hurricane Dean.
He didn’t understand his reluctance to leave yet. Why should he stand here and let the man he loves dress him down? Fuck that. He was an Angel of the Lord and stepfather to the son of Lucifer. The last thing he needed was to entertain any second of Dean’s projection and need to emotionally pommel whoever was closest to him in a time of crisis. He moved towards the stairs of the Bunker’s entrance, pausing when he heard Dean ask, “Where are you going?”
Something in him snapped. Fine. If Dean wanted a fight, he’d get a fight. He turned around, furious energy igniting inside him. “I don’t see how that’s any of your concern. You clearly do not want me to be here, so I shall remove myself.” Dean opened his mouth to interrupt him. “Do not fucking start with me right now. You are mad that I did not tell you about Jack and the snake. Fine. I can admit my faults. But you kept things from me too. And regardless of what you say, he’s my son.” His voice broke, and tears welled in his eyes. “You kept that from me, Dean. My own child’s soul was withering away, and you knew, and you said nothing. So no, I will not stand here and be talked to like this when you also played a part. Nobody is blameless here.” Cas turned away and continued up the stairs, away from Dean and his open jaw.
“Hey man, what the hell?!” Dean ran after him, catching his arm. “Are you fucking with me right now?” He looked incredulous. His anger had now turned into grief and surprise, eyes bright with tears.
Castiel’s heart panged. Dean Winchester would be the death of him. But he couldn’t be berated anymore. Overruling the part of him that ached to soothe Dean, to comfort him in his time of distress, he asked the only question he had. “Do you want me here or not?” Dean looked down, his hand slowly slipping off of Cas’s sleeve. Castiel swallowed his own grief in that moment. Aware of Dean’s habit of pushing others away, he realized this could very well be the last time that he saw the man he held so dear. “I see. I’ll be going then. Give Sam my regards.”
He trudged up the last few steps and paused at the door. There was something he had to tell him. “Dean?” His head lifted and Castiel could see the tear streaks on his face. “I am truly sorry that Mary is gone.” He hesitated. “But I am not your enemy. Speak to me like that again, and I will not let you get close enough to find me.” He exited the Bunker, hearing the door slam closed behind him.