Work Text:
You Know You're Better Than This
"you know you're better than this” a voice had been wandering and ringing around me like a surrounding, i stood on the lively, alive grass and my hands grasping the yellow flowers, or they rather might be called, sunflowers. my body turned to take a glimpse at that mysterious figure who seemed to have side swept platinum hair and he has the surgical mask and gloves on for some reason. my feelings were like some confused combination, curiosity and this tingling bubbles that grows each time I see that figure in dreams.
"beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep!" a vibrating noise close to my ear was reverberating as my eyes unfolded like a page turned, vision misting before it became clear and i straightened my back, letting out a soft yawn before erecting my upper body to sit up on this comfortable, soft bed that made me wait before faint into this heavenly spot.
"morning is such a heavy day, failing to get up, but here I am, all up." this thought encountered my mind before my head turned to an old framed picture on that desk that was always there next to the bed i owned , a picture of the younger self of mine and an unknown plantinum haired little boy, with the sunlight hitting the smiles we put on.
that boy, which is the man in my dreams, except that man looked very much like older, almost the same age as mine, but the age was never alleged. i always stood, sat, laid or put my whole existence on that very much enthusiastic field full of grass and divergent flowers. i let out an exhale before gaining consciousness when i arise and stroll to the restroom, torturous and bunch of filth used attires on the floor.
i familiarise with all this dirty, worn clothes on the corner of the room, getting used to it is such my daily routine, and I don't like it but I kept it there anyway. it's nasty of me, so I lifted up the toothbrush that was on the edge of the sink and washed it before putting a piece of toothpaste, brushing my teeth with it.
"i wonder if i should go out and hang out with some of my friends?" ah, yes! a very beautiful 19 years old me just dropped out of a very, important college! on a very nice, best day of my life, my mental heath tells me to drop out of college, so I did!
... well anyway, that wasn't funny, was it? i splashed all of the water mixed with toothpaste out into the damn sink and rubbed out my lips with a cloth that hangs on the metal cloth bar, before putting it back. i walked outside the restroom and wiped my feet on the towel that lays on the floor everyday, jumping on the bed and my hand placed on top of the drawer, taking the cable out of my phone and opened it.
just black wallpaper, 10:42 P.M and four notifications on that screen. 5 buddiesapp notifications.
"margeretha <3 (female dancer) : May i contact your perfumer friend, Vera Nair?? I need some perfumes from her because her brand's perfumes smells like a blossoming future."
"perfectionist vera nair (perfumer): girl i meet this lady named margarita or idk who but she says all of her senses is like her ex and she wants a perfume that calms her chickens down... can i borrow the perfume you brought from me? my chemist got called their montly absence again xx"
"emma :3 (gardener): my dad says u look manly when i show him a photo of us together xD"
"marthaaaa (coordinator): girl i just came back from college and theres this ho that kept ARGUING with me over 2 years NON STOP."
but there's this one message that gets my attention, a notification from emily. she talked about this guy in college.
"emILY (doctor): oh my gosh i just graduated from college and it was not worth it like i hated EVERYONE here but there's this guy that kinda looks like ur childhood friend, wasnt it called like, soap cap? but like he looked so much like ur old friend... + hes also from my class too.."
how
weird... and what's with that name, soap cap? isn't it like... okay, whatever. i also don't know about his name either, it's okay though emily. but what's more intriguing is about this guy she was talking about.
"congrats on graduating, emily XwX.!! alSo wdym the guy that looks like my childhood friend? whats with the nickname soAp cap?? XDD what do u know abt this guy? is he ur crushhhhh???" i sent the text to emily, she saw it quickly and replied to me with;
"NO silly... oh wait i think i know his name now!! its... aesop carl? or whatever the name is C:"
"aesop carl? what, does he looked like anyway?"
"um, white haired weirdo who wears a surgical mask and gloves on... white undershirt, a close-fitting cool grey jacket with white stitching, skinny grey trousers with haphazard white stitching, and black loafers..." grey black haired guy, with a surgical mask and gloves. i think emily described the guy from my dream a little too well...
"emily, u know, i think you make it sound like the figure that kept appearing in my dreams so many weeks now..."
"really? maybe its part of a dejavu, but who knows? its weird he kept popping up in ur dreams xd. or maybe its fate? anywayyy, i gotta go and visit my family now :P baibaiiiii"
"emILY has left the chat."
i thought aesop carl passed away?
emily. aesop carl is alive?
what does she mean he looks like my old friend?
emily, what are you talking about? is that true?
aesop carl? aesop carl? aesop carl? aesop carl? aesop?
I didn't believe her. no, I don't really believe her. that's a lie, right, emily?