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Ghosts eyelids have never felt heavier.
Well, maybe he’s exaggerating, but when you’ve been awake for over 52 hours, every sensation is either dulled to the point of nonexistence or blown out to the size of Jupiter.
Sitting in front of this safe house, gun propped up next to him and cigarette in hand, a strange sense of calm has washed over him. The danger he’s been in for the majority of the past two days has mostly gone and the dark night sky is soothing to his straining eyes.
The only thing keeping him awake on this so-called overwatch is the endless stream of scottish infused babbling from the man to his left.
Ghost bets that Soap is just as exhausted as he is after the mission they just went through, which is why he offered to take the first shift so Soap could sleep.
But the Scot just ignored his offer, as per usual, and sat right next to Ghost and started speaking. Whether to him or to the wind, it didn’t really matter, as Soap didn’t pause for answers to his questions nor did he look away from the stars.
This has become a sort of routine for the two of them. After the fight had simmered down and they were either herded back to base or cooped up in a safe house, they would find each other and unwind in their different ways, but together.
Soap talked and talked, shared stories from childhood, gossip from base or even just passing thoughts and opinions, getting all the remaining adrenaline and energy out of his veins.
Ghost listened and watched, half actually listening and half just absorbing the way the Scottish accent hardened certain words and softened others, enjoying the fact that hearing this means his favorite sergeant made it back.
The sudden silence around him brough Ghost back to the present. He looked at Soap, and saw him staring back, eyes expectant.
A change in their routine.
“Something on my face, Sergeant?”
Soap frowned a little, though Ghost would consider it a pout. He would never admit how this face made him want to give Johnny anything he would want, so instead he just rolled his eyes.
“Glad to know ye were listening, Lt.” Soap said, and sighed, although his face betrayed the fact that he was not actually upset by it.
“I asked ye, if you were in another universe, what would ya be? Anyone and anything goes,” Soap smiled and looked like he was actually interested in the answer.
Ghost pondered for a second, wondering whether he felt up to playing this game, but in this secluded safe house with nothing to do and no one to see, he decided to humor Soap.
“Hmm, well if I were to be an inanimate object, I guess the answer is obvious, no?”
Soap chuckled a little, “Aye, Ghost, I guess nothing but a knife would fit someone as sharp minded and edgy as you, eh?”
Ghost was thinking more along the lines of being only capable of causing pain and being difficult to handle, but Soap’s interpretation also worked.
“Let’s not pretend I’m the only obvious one. In no universe are you anything but an explosive, you unstable and loud bastard. Together we’d make one soldier truly unstoppable,” Ghost chuckled, imagining himself as a knife and Johnny as an explosive, both strapped to some faceless soldier belt, ready to cause as much chaos on the field as when they are humans.
Soap looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face.
Then Soap asked another question.
“And if you were an animal, what would ya be?”
Ghost once again considered the question, and once again came up with a cliche answer he knew Soap would make fun of.
“I guess a wolf would do.”
The sergeant huffed a laugh and shook his head, “Of course it would, ye solitary fuck. Y’know, am pretty sure if I asked these questions to a 13 year old, I would get the same answers.”
Ghost cuffed him in the back of the head and took a drag of the long forgotten cig in his other hand.
“Don’t pretend like you have a better answer. I can also see you as a wolf. Always in a pack, howling at the moon, disturbing the peace. Plus, it’s easy to imagine you wagging your tail with the way you light up anytime someone throws you a bone,” Ghost joked.
Soap lightly punched him in the shoulder.
“Away and bile yer heid, I do not. As stoic as a statue I am,” Soap said, mock offense in his tone, but mirth visible in his eyes.
“I can already see you trying to make me join the pack, following me like a lost pup.” Ghost mused, imagining how fitting the animal really is to Soap.
“Or, if this answer bores you that much, then I would probably say carpet shark for myself. Great ambush predators. I don't think a shark is exactly your style, so I would think maybe an octopus for you, since you can’t keep your grubby mitts off anything. With those suction cups, it would be even harder to shake you off me than it is now. Though they are also ambush predators, so maybe I’m giving you too much credit.”
Ghost was rambling. He didn’t know why he got into this game so much, but thinking about them together in different universes seemed quite enjoyable for some reason. He looked over at Soap, expecting a retort for the jab at the end.
Soap was staring at him with a fond expression. Ghost started to feel a bit sheepish for talking too much and was about to tell Soap that the game was over, but then Soap spoke again.
“And if you were a flower?”
Soap was still looking at him and Ghost found it hard to look away from the blue of his eyes. He didn’t know what flower he would be, since he wasn’t exactly versed in them, but he knew Soap would be some beautiful and radiant blue flower. Gorgeous as the eyes staring at him, the eyes of the man he loves.
He blinks himself out of the staring contest and takes another drag while looking back at the stars.
“Not sure Johnny, flowers are not my area of expertise. Didn’t exactly grow up with the expectation of being a florist,” he joked.
In his periphery, he could see that Soap was still looking at him and could tell that he was pondering something in that thick skull of his.
“I think ya would be a Lily of the Valley. Deadly, but beautiful.”
Ghost turned to look at him, expecting Soap’s signature obnoxious smirk and maybe even an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle, but all he saw was a look way too genuine for his heart’s liking.
Ghost forced out a chuckle and looked away, hoping the red tint of his cheeks was hidden by his rolled up mask.
“If I was that, I bet you would be one of those animals that evolved to be able to withstand the poison. No matter how deadly, I know you would find a way to annoy me anywhere,” he quipped, hoping to dissipate some of the tension in the air.
Soap hummed and turned to face the stars again.
There was silence for a few beats and Ghost assumed that the game had ended and their routine would be back to normal. But then Soap asked the question that made Ghost realize he may have made a mistake playing this game.
“Ya think we’re together in every universe?”
Fuck.
Ghost realized that in every question about himself, he made sure to note how he and Soap would be connected. In every universe, he saw them as a pair, no matter how different to each other they may be.
The epiphany hit Ghost like a truck.
He could not imagine himself without Johnny.
His life could be separated into two parts, before and after meeting Johnny. And he very well knows which part he prefers.
And through answering these questions, he subconsciously announced that to Soap as well.
He looked over at Johnny, but didn’t see any disgust at his lieutenant's apparent attachment. All he saw was a fondness and maybe another emotion, but he didn’t want to give himself false hope.
So he asked.
“Do you?”
Soap smiled at him.
“No.”
Ghost felt his heart shatter. He should have known this was not going to work, Soap was too good for him and the bond they shared didn’t mean Soap wanted him in the way he wanted Soap.
He looked away quickly trying to hide his pain, but Soap grabbed his hand, making Ghost look back at him.
Soap leaned in close, his breath hot on Ghost’s lips as he spoke.
“I know we are.”
Soap had that smug little smile on his face, the one that Ghost wanted to wipe off his face so often with either a smack or a kiss, this moment landing him somewhere in the middle.
But before he could make a decision between which action to take, Soap continued.
“Ya said it yerself Lt. I’m one sticky bastard, and you must be utterly daft if ye think that anything will take ya away from me now that I’ve gotten a taste. Not distance, not lack of sentience, not death. It’s you and me, Simon.”
Ghost felt like he couldn’t breathe and his heart was beating at a jack rabbit's pace.
He licked his lips and saw Johnny’s eyes trace the movement before looking back up with an emotion in his eyes Ghost was still a bit too afraid to name.
“Careful Sergeant, might start thinking you like me.” He joked, but it came out just a bit too breathy not to reveal how affected Ghost was by this conversation.
Soap just chuckled softly, moving his face impossibly closer.
“I love ya, Simon Riley.”
Soap finally closed the distance between them, lips meeting lips in a passionate kiss through which Ghost tried to express just how much the sentiment was returned.
They explored each other's mouths with a softness Ghost was not aware either were capable of, but maybe that was because they only reserved it for each other in moments like this.
Ghost melted into it, pulling Johnny as physically close to himself as possible, hoping that if he tried hard enough they would fuse into one. Johnny was practically in his lap and Ghost knew that with Soap by his side he would never feel cold again in any universe.
They continued like this for what felt like hours, no words exchanged, air instead filled with heavy breathing when they parted and quiet moans when Johnny lightly bit on his bottom lip. The safe house could have been bombed and he wouldn't have noticed, all his senses zeroed in on the man on top of him.
After a while the momentum died down a bit, the high they were riding dissipating and the tiredness catching up to them. The air around them was comfortable, filled with so much love Ghost was afraid he’d choke on it.
Soap gave one last peck before tucking his head under Ghost’s chin and slipping into unconsciousness, satisfied and sated.
Ghost looked at him, wanting to burn this moment into his retinas so that he would never forget it. He knew he’d dream of this moment every night if it was up to him, dream of the comfortable weight on top of him and the satisfaction comforting him like a warm blanket.
Ideally, he’d also wake up to the same weight and soft snores each morning.
It would be a blessing to be able to spend the rest of eternity just like this, with the chill of the night nipping at his toes in a random safe house, as long as Johnny was with him, in any form they may come.
He placed a peck onto the sleeping man’s forehead and whispered with such utter devotion it almost scared him, “I love you too, Johnny.”
A small smile formed on Soap's face and Ghost no longer thought they were together in every universe.
He knew it.