Chapter Text
Kageyama slams his bedroom door closed and falls back against it, sliding slowly down until he’s sitting on the floor slumped against it. The strap of his bag slips from his shoulder, and the volleyball he’s been carrying rolls away from his limp grasp. His hands shake, and he notes dully that his right palm is still stinging. He raises it in front of his face, looking at skin that’s still a little pink, and tries to remember exactly why it hurts so much. There’s a lump in his throat, impossible to swallow around, and when he tries and fails he clenches his jaw and pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.
He’d served it too hard. He knew the instant his hand connected with the ball that it was all about to go horribly wrong, because it was too painful and the sound of the impact rang through the gym and brought everybody’s heads around in surprise. The ball shot straight past the spot he was supposed to be aiming at, the spot that Hinata was supposed to dive for, cleaving through the air straight at the boy. He didn’t have time to do more than blink.
Kageyama tries again to swallow past the ice cube in his throat and has no more success than before. With a shaky breath, he forces himself back to his feet just long enough to shuffle to his bed and fall face-down onto the comforter, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He tries to block out the sounds ringing in his ears, the sound of the ball hitting Hinata square in the face, the sound of Hinata flying into the wall with a crack. The sound of Hinata falling to the gym floor while the others cried out and ran to his side.
It was in slow motion as he watched the ball bounce away across the gym floor. It was in slow motion that Hinata fell, crumpling on the waxed wooden floor. It was in slow motion that the others sprinted forward—even Tsukishima—and he stood, frozen.
Get up , he thought desperately as he stared at Hinata’s unmoving figure. Get up you dumbass.
With everybody crouched over him, Hinata looked even smaller than usual. Daichi shouted for Kiyoko, but she was already kneeling down with the first aid kit. Asahi and Nishinoya very carefully slid their hands beneath Hinata and just as carefully turned him onto his back.
He feels worse than when they fought over whether Hinata should try new spike techniques. That had been at least a little on both of them, though if he’s being honest he was still mostly the one at fault then for not being willing to help Hinata improve. This…this is all on him. Hinata got hurt because Kageyama lost control of his temper in a more spectacular way than ever.
Hinata’s face was covered in blood, and it was pouring from both nostrils. Yamaguchi let out a small, mouse-like squeak at the sight and fainted right there, and Tsukishima just barely caught him. Kiyoko wasted no time in pulling out disinfectant wipes and a roll of gauze, quickly and effectively cleaning away what blood she could and then tilting his head to the side so that no more would drip into Hinata’s mouth. She tucked the gauze slightly beneath his cheek to keep him from bleeding on the floor anymore, then leaned back and patted Yachi on the head. The girl looked like she was about to pass out right along with Yamaguchi, but Kiyoko just patted her on the head and told her that Hinata would be fine, that it was just a broken nose.
“What the HELL was that?!” Ukai demanded from Hinata’s side, whipping around to fix Kageyama with a death glare.
The boy stared, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open, and didn’t respond. He couldn’t. His voice had deserted him, words had deserted him, everything but that cold, withering feeling in his chest as horror robbed him of every human response he was capable of.
He doesn’t remember why he did it. He remembers being angry, he remembers Hinata saying something that fanned the flames, but why? There’s nothing. He doesn’t have any idea why he was so upset, and that makes it worse. He hurt Hinata, and it clearly wasn’t over something important if he can’t even remember why.
“Oi, Hinata!” Tanaka shouted, looking on the verge of tears.
He reached out like he wanted to shake Hinata’s shoulder, but Ennoshita immediately caught his arms from behind, keeping his hyperactive concern in check before he made the situation worse. Nishinoya, kneeling beside Asahi, took a long, deep breath, then leaned down until he was inches away from Hinata’s face.
“HINATA, WAKE UP!!!” he bellowed. Asahi jumped and yelped in shock, but before he could reprimand his friend, Daichi was behind him and pulling him back much like Ennoshita had done with Tanaka.
The boy on the floor stirred, mumbling incoherently.
Kageyama grits his teeth and moves over enough to reach down and pick up the ball that had rolled over toward his bed. He’ll do what he always does when he’s stressed, when he can’t sleep for all the thoughts tumbling through his head. He tosses the ball above him, watching it spin as it gets smaller, then bigger again. He catches it, and tosses it again.
Hinata’s eyes snapped open all at once, and he moved like he was going to jump to his feet. Suga hastily pushed past Tanaka and Ennoshita and set a firm hand on Hinata’s shoulder, holding him where he was.
“Easy, Hinata,” he said calmly. “You took a pretty nasty hit.”
“Hit…?” Hinata mumbled.
“Do you want to sit up?” Takeda said beside Suga.
“Y-yeah…please…” Hinata said.
“Slowly. Let us help,” said Takeda, and with Ukai he helped guide Hinata onto his knees.
“How’s your head?” Ukai asked.
“Hurts,” Hinata mumbled.
He lifted a hand to his nose and then winced, pulling back and looking at the blood on his fingertips. Kiyoko noticed and took the gauze that had stuck to his cheek, holding it carefully under his nostrils until his fingers took over. She hadn’t wanted to risk plugging his nose with the gauze to completely top the bleeding while he’d been unconscious.
“Can you tell me where you are?” asked Takeda.
Shrink. Grow. Catch. Toss.
Hinata frowned at him.
“I’m at the school gym,” he said, confused. “Wh—”
“What’s your full name?”
“Sensei, you know my—”
“What’s your full name?”
“Hinata Shoyou.”
Takeda took a long, slow breath, and blew it out through pursed lips.
“Do you remember why your head hurts?”
Shrink. Grow. Catch. Toss.
“I was receiving for Kageyama…” Hinata said quietly, looking around. “He…the ball…”
The boy blinked, his expression darkening, and Kageyama felt his heart sink even further when those brown eyes found him standing several meters back, still exactly where he had been when he’d served the ball. The look in Hinata’s eyes made Kageyama’s blood run cold. He was pissed—of course he was. But he was more than that. He was confused, and hurt. Very, very hurt.
“Kageyama,” he growled, shifting his weight.
Guessing what he was going to do, Daichi’s hand lashed out to the shoulder that Suga wasn’t holding, latching a punishing grip to keep him sitting where he was.
“H-Hinata—” Kageyama stuttered.
“What the hell?!” he snarled, straining against the hands keeping him still. “You bastard, what was that for?”
“Hinata, hold on,” Suga said, alarmed. “You’re hurt, you need to calm down.”
“What were you thinking you jerk?!” Hinata said, disregarding Suga’s warning.
“I think we’d all like to know that,” Ukai said coldly.
Shrink. Grow. Catch.
Kageyama hesitates, eyes on the ball cradled in his fingertips. It isn’t the one that he’d served at Hinata, but it might as well be. It feels painful to hold, too heavy, like it’s protesting him.
“I—I didn’t—” he sputtered, and he took a step forward without conscious thought.
He stopped when Hinata flinched. Fear flickered in the smaller boy’s eyes.
He sighs and tips the ball back to the floor. He sits up with his legs crossed and leans his elbows on his knees, head bowed.
“I didn’t mean…” he said woodenly, tongue like lead from the look on Hinata’s face.
“It sure looked like you meant it,” Daichi said, voice hard.
“That didn’t sound like an accident, either,” Ukai said bluntly.
“Didn’t feel like one,” Hinata added, eyes now on Kageyama’s feet.
“N-no…” he said, shaking his head. “I didn’t—I would never—”
“What’s going on, Kageyama?” Suga said quietly. “You were in a pretty bad mood already, and you were yelling at Hinata before you two were even on the court.”
He swallowed.
He’s going to school early tomorrow. He doesn’t care that he’s suspended from practice; he has to go. He has to see Hinata, to talk to him. To apologize.
The last thing Kageyama was aware of in the gym before he stalked out was Ukai helping Hinata slowly to his feet while the boy continued to stare at him.