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Lucifer is going to strangle his brothers.
In this case specifically, he is going to strangle both Mammon and Leviathan for waiting until the last possible moment to tell him they still need to do their Christmas shopping for their younger brothers.
Lucifer sits in his study, head in his hands as Mammon and Leviathan both trip over their explanations (and try to blame each other for waiting until the weekend before Christmas to do any of their shopping).
“Enough.” he snaps, stopping them before any violence starts. He settles his gaze first on Leviathan, who gulps.
“Leviathan, you’re usually more on top of your shopping,” he comments, knowing the third born was more inclined to shop online than brave the chaos of holiday shopping.
“I-I had a lot going on this year!” the Avatar of Envy exclaims. “Between group comebacks and fan events and conventions, my schedule has been packed! I’ve barely even had time to game.” he pouts.
Lucifer’s eye twitches as he holds up his hand, leveling Leviathan with a silencing look before turning his attention to the second born, who has been suspiciously quiet thus far.
“And you?” Lucifer asks, already dreading the answer.
Mammon shuffles his feet while Leviathan glares at him, clearly already privy to whatever has held back the Avatar of Greed from doing his share of holiday shopping. Lucifer finds this exceedingly suspicious, considering how much Mammon loves to spend his (and sometimes others, i.e. Leviathan’s,) money.
“I, uh, just haven’t had tha chance.” Mammon says, avoiding Lucifer’s death stare.
Lucifer buries the urge to scream and stands.
“Then we will go now.” he says, striding over to the door and throwing it open. Mammon and Leviathan look at each other nervously before following their eldest brother out of his study and then out of the house, wondering what was in store for them.
Leviathan gulps and takes in his surroundings, shrinking in on himself as he watches hoards of demons milling around the mall. Obviously he and Mammon were not the only ones who had put off their holiday shopping (but you didn’t see any angry elder brothers herding them around).
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Mammon already taking inventory of his favorite stores, Lucifer watching him closely with his arms crossed. Levi swallows a snicker, knowing that if Lucifer lets Mammon free, no presents would be bought for their younger siblings.
“Let’s stay together,” the Avatar of Pride suggests (orders). Leviathan doesn’t dare argue, resigning himself to an afternoon of torture (although getting to see Mammon tortured too brings back a little of his joy) and he begins mentally running through the list of gift ideas for his younger brothers and what stores they’ll need to visit in order to get everything done in one trip.
As the brothers begin their trek through the mall, Leviathan keeps his distance, watching as Lucifer and Mammon bicker in front of him. He can only pick up bits and pieces of what they’re saying, but he picks up something about a spending limit and how Mammon feels it “wasn’t part of the Christmas spirit!” and he laughs under his breath at Mammon’s antics, glad to not be a part of them for once.
They make their first stop at a beauty store, each demon purchasing an item off Asmodeus’ (very long) Christmas list. Leviathan decides on a perfume he thinks would fit the Avatar of Lust; one that begins with hints of citrus and then settles into a more floral fragrance (he’s done a lot of research, okay?). He also helps Mammon and Lucifer with their gifts (those normies ) to save them from Asmodeous’ wrath should they only purchase him gift cards (they’ve all made that mistake once; never again).
Feeling proud of his accomplishment, Leviathan leads the trio to their next stop; a bookstore. Among all the brothers, Satan loves books the most, and has such an extensive list of wants that Leviathan simply settles for a gift card, knowing that it would suit the Avatar of Wrath better than choosing the wrong edition of whatever book was on his list (they had all learned from that mistake, too).
Leviathan also purchases a book about the history of poisons and potions for Belphegor, who has a penchant for such subjects. He shudders to think what the Avatar of Sloth will do with such a book, and vows to stay on his good side for the foreseeable future.
After making his purchases, Leviathan gazes around the shop, spotting Lucifer perusing the small collection of vinyl's that were offered, and Mammon absorbed in the latest edition of Devil Style. Not wanting to interrupt, he takes the chance to take a break and orders a Bufo Egg Milk Tea from the connected cafe and settles at a table to wait.
Mammon snorts at the article he’s currently scanning in Devil Style about the best ways to earn extra money quick. He’s tried them all and not one has worked! All he’s ever gotten for his hard work is being strung from the ceiling by Lucifer. He scoffs, throwing the magazine back on this display and looking around for his brothers.
He sees Leviathan sitting in the cafe, drinking his weird milk tea concoction and scrolling through his phone, and Lucifer in the corner pouring over a vinyl Mammon knows he’s been eyeing for a while.
He smirks, knowing the timing is right to sneak away to finish some of his own shopping before the other two notice. He’s been working hard this holiday season to save up, and the Great Mammon has things to buy!
After successfully escaping (walking out) of the bookstore, Mammon swaggers towards the clothing store he’s been eyeing since they first walked in, fully intending to pick up a coat he’s been wanting since last season. But as he walks through the door, a pair of red leather gloves catches his eyes and he pauses. He’s noticed over the last few weeks that Lucifer’s were starting to fray from overuse, and he knew the Avatar of Pride wouldn’t replace them until after the holiday season, or maybe even after. How Lucifer allowed his things to fray at all baffled Mammon. He swiped up the gloves and continued his path towards the coat rack where his prize awaited.
Feet away from the rack, a flash of orange catches Mammon’s attention. He startles, and thinking it was Leviathan tracking him down, he throws himself behind a mannequin. Demons around him gave him strange looks as he comes to his senses and realizes it’s just a beanie (and one that Leviathan would definitely wear). Flushing from embarrassment, he snatches the hat from its display and pushes forward.
Finally reaching the rack holding the coat, Mammon silently rejoices, sifting through the options to find his size. After checking twice and not finding his size, he begins to panic. He races to the front counter, surprising the demon working the counter.
“H-hello, how may I assist you today?” they ask, clearly taken aback by Mammon’s frantic behavior. Mammon points behind him to the coat rack.
“Do ya have that coat in X size?” he demands, staring at the other demon as they turn to check their computer system.
“Ah, I’m so sorry, but it looks like we just sold out of that size.” they apologize. Mammon curses and falls to his knees. All that hard work and once again his plans were foiled! He gathers himself and stands, placing his other items on the counter.
“Just these, then.” he says gruffly, pulling out his card. At least his brothers would get what they needed.
Lucifer and Leviathan watch Mammon from outside the store, Lucifer holding a discreet bag containing the very coat Mammon had just been trying to purchase. Lucifer had noticed Mammon eyeing it throughout the year, both in store and online, and wanted to surprise the Avatar of Greed with it. Lucifer chuckles.
“He didn’t even realize I was in there with him,” he muses. Leviathan cackles beside him, rattling off about Mammon being a ‘normie’ and how ‘cringe’ he looked on the floor. Lucifer stays silent, watching Mammon purchase his other items, knowing exactly who they’re for.
A soft smile adorns his lips; no matter how chaotic his brothers were, at the end of the day they always had the best intentions for each other.
Keeping his face blank, Lucifer nods to Mammon as he exits the store with his bags. Mammon looks at him suspiciously, but Lucifer gives nothing away as they continue their shopping.
After visiting a candy store to purchase gifts for Beelzebub (his weight in snacks between the three of them), the brothers decide to call it a day.
“I’m exhausted,” Leviathan complains, slumped over the table of the restaurant they decided to eat at before heading home. Lucifer sniffs.
“I suppose you won’t wait until the last moment next year then, will you?” he says. Leviathan gives him a nasty look, but Mammon beams.
“I dunno! This was kinda fun.” Mammon says, diving into the plate that was just set before him. Lucifer and Leviathan share a bewildered look before agreeing. Maybe this was something they should do every year; they were able to bounce ideas off each other and cover more stores without getting sidetracked by their own desires.
After devouring their dinner, they finally head home, avoiding their younger brothers as they bring in their purchases, bidding each other goodnight.
All things considered, Lucifer thought it had gone quite well.
And seeing all of his brother’s faces as they opened their gifts on Christmas morning? That made it all worth it.