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It never happened. She never kissed him. He never made a move and she let him be. They just meet as friends now. Never with Viktor present though. He moved to the United States. He couldn't cope with the painful memories associated with Europe. There were times he was doing groceries and when he saw older women with dark hair he felt a burst of hope in his chest. Could it be? Was it her? Every time the women turned around and his heart sunk. It wasn't her. Every time he had to take time to pick himself up again and after his latest meltdown he impulsively bought a one way ticket to the United States. She sent him a couple of letters and he sent nice replies back. He had met a nice Jewish girl and he was trying to make it in Hollywood as a tailor.
A hard knock on the door made Charly jump. She caught her pen on the last instant before it could make a nasty stain on her letter. She put it down gently and walked to the door. The person on the other side was impatient because she heard another insistent knock.
"I'm coming!" she mumbled under her breath and opened the door. It was Wilhelm's mother. "Oh, Frau Winter! What can I do for you?" She raised an eyebrow. Wilhelm had told her how his mother was still grieving the loss of Friedhelm and how she had episodes where she wasn't aware of her surroundings. Wilhelm's mother walked past her and set herself down on her sofa. She closed the door and followed her but remained in the doorway. Wilhelm's mother looked at her feet and said
"Where is Wilhelm? I cannot find him and usually he is out and about with you when that happens." In her mind, Charly shook her head. Yeah, right now she was out and about with Wilhelm.
"Sorry Frau Winter. I have no idea where Wilhelm is or could be."
"Oh. Right. Well. Thank you. Goodbye." Wilhelm's mother rose to her feet and walked straight past Charly and out the door. She did not say another word. Charly felt stumped for a moment but smiled, closed the door and returned to her writing desk and her letter. She almost put the point of the pen on the paper but was interrupted by another knock. She put down her pen with a sigh and opened the door. It was Wilhelm. She took a step back to let him in. He walked to her couch and sat down on the exact same spot as his mother. He kept looking at the floor so Charly drew a breath and said
"You know, you just missed your mother."
"Good."
"What?"
"Good." Wilhelm looked up in her eyes.
"Why?"
"She was whining about Friedhelm again and wanted me to talk about our time in the east. I did not so I ran out. She trailed me but I shook her off at the park. I knew she would come here so I let her go in, see I wasn't here and then let her leave. Now she won't look here for another hour or two so I'm safe." Charly was tempted to raise her eyebrow at him after he repeated good but after hearing his explanation, she let her shoulders drop.
"Do you want tea?" Wilhelm smiled but an empty smile.
"Yes please." Charly got busy with the kettle and filled it with water. "You know, I was just finishing up a letter to Viktor. He met someone! Oh wait, I already told you that. Never mind. I was going to ask her name. He talks very warmly of her. And of America. He says he has difficulty adjusting to the hot weather but he is getting there. The community is so nice to him, so warm and welcoming. He deserves just that." She sat down next to Wilhelm holding two cups of tea. He took one off her and blew on it.
"Sounds great." They sipped their hot tea in silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though. Wilhelm once told her he felt safest when he was with Charly. Just hanging out, saying nothing most of the time. She never asked him to talk about his experiences. He had told her they were too gruesome to relive. She had told him nothing either. They just had this silent understanding between them never to talk about the war when they weren't ready. Charly put her cup down.
"Do you want some biscuits?" Wilhelm smiled his empty smile again but before he could answer, Charly said "You know you don't have to pretend with me. Don't smile if you don't feel like it." The corners of his mouth dropped instantly but his eyes warmed up at the same time. This was her favorite look of his.
"Thank you. Yes, I would love some." Charly stood up and started looking for them. She mumbled to herself.
"Now, if I were a jar, where would I be hiding? This cupboard or this drawer? No? Oh come on, where are you?" She heard a cough and looked over her shoulder.
"It's over here." Wilhelm pointed to the table and there it was. Right next to her cup. Charly laughed and sat down again.
"Of course they were hiding in plain sight."
"Friedhelm!" Charly sat on a bench in the park but was startled by the loud cry from a boy a couple years older than herself. He was talking to another boy and they were so noisy Charly could make out their conversation from the other side of the field.
"You got beaten up again." The boy who had shouted before said it rather calm and collected but Charly sensed he was fuming. The other boy, Friedhelm, shook his head.
"No no, I fell." Angrily the older boy took his wrist and held it up.
"On both sides? Come on now. Who did this?"
"Nobody kicked me." He let go of Friedhelms wrist whilst sighing and he shook his head. "Dad is going to notice." Friedhelm put his nose in the air. "Don't act clever with me. You know he will." Friedhelm looked at his shoelaces. The other boy said other things but it was inaudible for Charly. Friedhelm walked away and Charly concentrated on her book again. She heard someone sit down next to her and looked up. It was Friedhelm.
"What are you reading?" Charly showed him the cover.
"Just something mandatory." Charly looked down at his wrists. "What happened to you? I saw and heard you arguing over there." Friedhelm tried to pull his sleeves down but they wouldn't stay. Charly noticed he was deciding whether to lie to her or not. He took a breath and said
"They don't like me. At school. So they punch me. Sometimes."
"Today?"
"Yes." Charly nodded. "Do you want to come over for tea?" Tea fixed everything. Or so her mother always said. Friedhelm nodded vigorously.
"I would love some." Charly looked around.
"Hey, where is the other boy?"
"Wilhelm?"
"If that's his name, yes."
"He went that way." Friedhelm gestured vaguely.
"Oh. Come on." Charly closed her book and took Friedhelms hand. He closed his around hers.
Not long after Charly met Viktor. Her mother had sent her to his father's store to buy some of his cheapest yarn and Viktor had helped her.
"Don't I know you from somewhere?"
"Yes, we go to the same school."
"Right, I saw you there!" Purely by chance they discovered they lived near the same park and there they would play together. After tea, Charly dragged Friedhelm over to Viktor and they played in the park.
Another afternoon, a girl friend of Charly wanted to come home with her and now they were with four. Her name was Greta. They were playing hide and seek and after a rather intense round, they sat down on the grass. Greta and Charly laughed because Viktor said something funny and suddenly the older boy stood behind Friedhelm. He looked inquisitive but had his guard up.
"What are you doing?" Friedhelm looked up rapidly, almost straining his neck.
"We're playing hide and seek and I'm winning."
"Not true, I am!" Greta said in a huff. Charly giggled.
"Do you want to join in?" She directed the question to the older boy but Friedhelm shook his head.
"No Wilhelm is way too good for us. He cannot be seen with us. We're too young for him." Charly saw the hurt in Wilhelm’s eyes but it was only a moment.
"You have to be it of course. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair. And it is with Alle, Alle, auch sind frei!"(1) Wilhelm grinned to her.
"One, two, three..." He sat down with his hands in front of his eyes and the others jumped up and ran away to hide.
After Wilhelm left, Charly took up her pen again and finished her letter to Viktor. She talked about the rebuilding of the city and how lucky she was she had living quarters for herself. It really was small but she had everything. Her parents hadn't survived the battle of Berlin and she had no siblings so she was alone. She was not lonely however. Even if Viktor was on the other side of the world. She licked the envelope and rose to go to the post office. She looked at her watch and was taken aback. It was closing time so she ripped her coat off the hanger and bolted out the door.
The next day she and Wilhelm had arranged to meet after dinner at hers. From there, they would simply take a walk and see if they could catch a movie. The moment she heard the knock she put on her jacket and opened the door. Wilhelm stood there, relaxed with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing a long coat like she was because it was neither cold nor warm and they were rather fashionable. Charly locked the door behind her and after a short hug they walked down the flight of stairs.
"How was your day?" Charly asked. Wilhelm shook with his shoulders a little.
"Normal. I had to flee the house again. This time it was my father. He is not overbearing with questions but his disappointment is feasible everywhere he goes. Right after lunch I couldn't take it any longer and fled. I went to the library today. Read Synthetic Men of Mars. Got kicked out when they closed and had to sit through another family dinner. It went surprisingly well. My mother didn't burst out into tears and my father could make normal conversation. I could bear it because I knew I was going to see you afterward." He shot Charly another warm look and her stomach did a backflip. "How was yours?" He asked it casually while he bumped her shoulder. He did not stop touching her though. Charly could feel her cheeks burn and coughed to hide her hesitation.
"It was good. Work was okay and talking to the girls was delightful." They walked in silence and all the while Wilhelm’s shoulder and upper arm were touching hers. His radiating warmth had something very comforting. Wilhelm stopped walking and grabbed her hand to stop her. They were in front of a cinema.
"How about we hide in the dark eating snacks and making fun of Gene Kelly?"
"Sounds magnificent." Wilhelm did not let go of her hand.
Charly giggled while Wilhelm was attempting to throw bits of candy up in the air and catch them with his mouth.
"Yeah, you laugh, but I will succeed." Charly put a piece of candy in her mouth and grinned.
"Sure. I'm going to eat all this candy while you practice though." Wilhelm stopped and grabbed a handful.
"Do not eat my practice material!" Charly laughed out loud. People around them shushed because the movie was starting and the lights were dimming. Contently Charly made herself comfortable in her chair. Throughout the movie she and Wilhelm would whisper commentaries and one time Charly giggled so loudly people turned around looking rather annoyed. Charly would put on her most charming smile and look dead ahead at the screen. They lingered a little while longer after the movie had ended. Wilhelm was throwing candy up for himself again and Charly watched his face. She was certain it was more relaxed than she had seen in years. She wondered what had happened. The film wasn't particularly funny or good, just entertaining enough to pay the fare for. They had talked about nothing in particular but she was sure she had seen half a smile on his face. She stood up and put on her coat.
"Come on, I want to go to the park and watch the stars.” Wilhelm stopped moving and looked at her.
"But I'm so close to catching a piece!" He looked like a pouting child and Charly laughed.
"Take the candy with you to the park then."
"Good idea." Wilhelm said that with a serious face and he put the candy in his pocket. He stood up and grabbed Charly’s hand. "Let's go."
In the park they laid down on the grass, flat on their backs. The stars were particularly bright tonight and Charly was contently looking around. The night was serene and Charly did not feel a need to talk. She did not know a lot about astronomy but she admired the stars for their beauty. In a swift move, Wilhelm sat up and slightly startled Charly. She sat up as well.
"Everything all right?" Wilhelm nodded and looked at her. Charly smiled and Wilhelm smiled back. No empty smile. It surprised her. Wilhelm placed his hand over hers and started leaning in. The butterflies in Charly’s stomach were no longer butterflies. They were a flurry of bees, buzzing with excitement. Very lightly Wilhelm’s lips touched hers as if he was asking her if it was all right to continue. Charly kissed him back sweetly and placed her hand on the back of his neck. Encouraged by that, Wilhelm put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. This kiss was everything Charly dreamt about and more. Wilhelm tasted sweet like the candy he had been eating moments before. Too soon he pulled back and placed his forehead against hers.
"Are you sure this is all right? You know I'm damaged goods..." Charly bit her lip and put a little pressure on Wilhelm’s head.
"Yes silly, this is what I want. Who I want. I want you." Wilhelm closed his eyes and Charly did too. He pulled her in a close embrace.
"Is it okay if I kiss you again?"
"Yes."