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1.
Yuuta can’t sleep again.
He’s exhausted after a long training mission with Maki and Panda, every muscle in his body aching so that all he wants to do is lay down and rest. Instead, his brain meticulously runs through every mistake he made, every stumble, until he’s tossing and turning, unable to relax.
There were so many ways he could have done better. He knew he was still learning - both how to be a sorcerer and how to use his own power - but it was still frustrating when he made mistakes and his friends had to jump in to cover for him. He really wanted to be someone they relied on.
Someone strong.
Instead, he’d almost gotten himself clobbered and Maki had suffered a wrenched shoulder in trying to defend him. He’d gotten an earful on the way back, of course, on minding his surroundings, but he still feels guilty. He needs to get stronger, faster, for his friends. After Rika, he’d never been able to have really close friends and, now that he’s joined Jujutsu High, he’ll do anything to keep them.
Maki, with her strong will and ‘no nonsense’ attitude. Panda, with his upbeat demeanor and steady presence.
And Toge…
Yuuta melts into the mattress a little, throwing the back of one arm over his forehead as he smiles to himself there in the darkness of his room.
Toge, with his quiet kindness and teasing looks, soft onigiri words that hide a depth of feeling that Yuuta knows must be difficult for the other boy. Still, ever since joining the school, Toge has been nothing but nice to him - looking after Yuuta on missions, training with him, helping him with schoolwork when he finds himself lost. Toge seems to have a knack for knowing when Yuuta’s anxiety is high and is always right there with a comforting cup of tea or hard poke right to Yuuta’s cheek to draw him from his spiraling thoughts.
Just thinking of the other boy, Yuuta can feel his cheeks warm. He really likes being around Toge. They both struggle with powers that have hurt others so Yuuta can relate to him in ways he can’t with the others.
And if maybe he has a tiny bit of a crush on the other boy, well, it’s only natural, right? Toge is amazing - his technique is powerful, he’s kind to others, and his eyes are an enchanting shade of purple that Yuuta has never seen before on anyone else.
Groaning under his breath, Yuuta flops over on his stomach, body tangled in his sheets from his inability to lie still. He just needs to get a little sleep, is all, and his touch-starved brain suddenly running through a movie reel of every time Toge has touched him is not helping.
“Yuuuuuuuta.”
Rika’s voice is low, crooning at him from whatever dimension she hides in when she’s not manifested.
“Can’t sleeeeeep, Yuuuuuuta?”
He huffs into his pillow but his reply is gentle, for her. “I’m okay, Rika. I just need to stop thinking so hard.”
“Rika can heeeeelp!” she squeals happily and, before he can open his mouth, there’s a telling silence where she once was. Yuuta pauses and then sits up, blankets pooling at his waist as he looks uncertainly into the shadows of his room.
“Rika?” he whispers.
There’s no answer.
Maybe she’d simply gone back to the corners of his mind?
Yuuta is stretching, wondering if he should give up on sleeping or try again, when Rika reappears, fully manifesting into his room and making him yelp in surprise.
“Yuuuuuta! Rika heeeeelps!”
And that’s when he sees it.
Under Rika’s left arm is Toge, her clawed hand wrapped around his middle so that the boy’s legs and arms dangle in mid-air. He’s so small next to Rika’s bulky form that he looks like a small kitten in her grasp, soft from sleep, his hair a mess, lavender eyes drooping.
Toge’s in his pajamas, face bare and sigils dark against his fair skin. He blinks at Yuuta, still hanging limply from Rika’s grasp, and raises a hand to wave at him idly.
“Konbu,” he mumbles, yawning. Yuuta catches a flash of a tattooed tongue.
“Rika!” Yuuta’s voice is just shy of a strangled screech. The cursed spirit hums happily and drops Toge directly on Yuuta’s bed, Yuuta scrambling to help catch him so he doesn’t bounce off the side and onto the floor.
“I-Inumaki, are you alright?” Yuuta asks, red in the face, as he helps his friend sit up. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what got into her.” He glances around but Rika has conveniently disappeared again. “Are you hurt?”
Toge being hurt by Rika is one of his worst fears and Yuuta can feel himself tensing, skin going cold at the mere thought.
Thankfully, Toge shakes his head and then peers at Yuuta, still half-asleep. “Takana?”
Yuuta breathes out, relieved and touched by Toge’s care. “I-I’m okay.”
Toge makes a soft, questioning sound and then points at the bruises under Yuuta’s eyes. “Okaka, mentaiko.”
Yuuta scrubs at his eyes, a little embarrassed. “I haven’t been able to fall asleep,” he admits, “b-but I’m okay! I might just get up anyway‒”
He’s cut off by Toge crawling closer and snuggling right down onto Yuuta’s pillow, nestling into the mattress until he’s comfy and then signing sleepily at Yuuta. Yuuta’s not great at JSL yet but he understands Toge’s words.
I’m still tired. Can I stay?
“O-Of course, Inumaki!” Yuuta stutters, moving over to give Toge more room. He’s sure his face is on fire from having the other boy in his bed like this but there’s absolutely no way he’s going to ask him to leave after Rika yoinked him from a dead sleep.
He pulls the blankets up over Toge and then has a horrible moment of indecision - should he get up and leave? Does he lay down next to Toge? What if he makes Toge uncomfortable? What if Rika frightened him and now he’s scared of Yuuta? What if‒
Toge pats the bed next to him. “Yuuta.”
Yuuta’s anxiety shrivels up and dies away at the sound of his name in Toge’s drowsy voice. He scoots down next to Toge, wondering at the warmth he already feels with having the other boy so near. His room feels different with Toge there, the dark less cloying. Yuuta’s mind quiets as he gets comfortable, his heartbeat slowing with the sound of Toge’s gentle breathing.
Curled towards each other, Toge lifts a hand and carefully draws his palm down over Yuuta’s eyes. His slim fingers are warm, the weight of his touch pleasant.
Yuuta exhales.
This feels nice, he thinks.
Toge’s voice is low, a sweet murmur.
“Sleep.”
And finally, Yuuta sleeps.
2.
Africa is… lonely.
He hadn’t thought so at first. At first he’d been overwhelmed with all the new things he had to learn - a new country, a new language, a new teacher, a new home. He’d spent the first few weeks in a state of nerves, panic at an all time high, before slowly - ever so slowly - starting to feel like maybe the world wasn’t ending.
Now, Yuuta is learning the routine, going on training missions with Miguel who’s steady presence is a balm to Yuuta’s anxiety. He works hard at his lessons, developing his technique, and tries to do his best but there’s just something missing.
He’s lonely.
Miguel’s small group of sorcerers are all adults and there are no other students besides Yuuta. He misses Panda, Maki and Toge terribly. Having to leave Japan and all his friends behind feels a little like being exiled just when he was starting to fit in there. Is Maki now grinding all the new first years down in practice the way she did Yuuta? Is Panda still good-naturedly whacking students on the back with a heavy paw when they need comfort? Does Toge still tend to his garden every morning, trailing fingers over soft petals, whispering words to growing things that Yuuta can’t hear?
Or worse, is Toge lonely, too?
Yuuta doesn’t like that thought.
The two of them had grown close before Yuuta left, perhaps even teetering on being more than friends, with enough time. Now, though, the distance between them is so vast, it feels insurmountable.
“Yuuuuuta is saaaaad?”
Rika is half-manifested near his desk, most of her form still shadowy and undefined, halfway between worlds. Yuuta smiles at her fondly. At least he isn’t completely alone there.
“I’m okay, Rika. I just miss my friends.”
“Yuuta misses Toooooge?”
Ever since the ‘incident’ in Yuuta’s bedroom, Rika seems to have taken some sort of special interest in Toge. She rarely ever references other people to him but this isn’t the first time Rika has mentioned his name to Yuuta. Normally, Yuuta might be a little worried about this, but so far Rika’s attention doesn’t seem jealous or negative.
“Yeah,” Yuuta admits, cheeks pinking, “I miss Toge.”
And Panda and Maki, too, of course, but Toge is…
“Rika misses Toge, toooooooo.”
Yuuta sits up a bit on his bed, pausing in looking over his homework, textbook sprawled across his legs. He looks at Rika in surprise.
“You do?”
It’s possible she’s only saying so to agree with him but he’s curious. Rika sways side to side idly, like a snake.
“Toge’s niiiiice to Rika.”
Yuuta’s stunned. Is it possible Rika and Toge interact without Yuuta being present? He supposes it’s possible as long as he’s nearby but then he questions why Rika would manifest for Toge at all. Should he be concerned about this?
He picks up his phone from his bedside table and winces when he notices the time. It’s late in Kenya but for Toge it would be four o’clock in the morning and he knows how much his friend loves his sleep. Besides, Yuuta broke his screen pretty badly on a recent mission and he’s not even sure he can properly video call, which would be easiest for Toge. Miguel had promised to help him get a new phone but Yuuta wasn’t sure when they would be able to go shopping.
Yuuta’s shoulders slump, that terrible loneliness creeping up again. “I really want to talk to him,” he says quietly. He wants to ask Toge about Rika but, also, he just wants to hear the other boy’s voice and see his face again.
Rika hums, twirling. “Rika will heeeeelp!”
She promptly disappears.
Yuuta freezes. Oh no. Is it happening again? For one long, horrible moment he wonders if Rika’s about to drop another kidnapped Toge on his bed, somehow having finagled him between dimensions and countries, before realizing there’s probably no way she could actually do that…
Right?
There’s a shout from the other end of the compound and then suddenly Rika is back, trilling happily, obviously pleased with herself.
She drops a sleek tablet on Yuuta’s bed.
“Rika, is this…?”
Oh no.
It’s Miguel’s tablet that he sometimes uses to review mission data. Had Rika just stolen it from Miguel’s bedroom?!
Yuuta wonders if he can sink into the floorboards and disappear.
Rika waves a clawed finger at the tablet. “Tooooooge,” she wails cheerily, and then fades out as if she hasn’t just thrown him face first into chaos.
Not a moment later, a notification chimes on Yuuta’s mangled phone - a text from Miguel.
M: If you need to use the tablet, you can just ask. No need to send Rika.
Dying inside, Yuuta immediately sends back an apology and promises to return the tablet in the morning. Then, red-faced, he sits with the device on top of his textbook, trying to breathe through the mortification.
Eventually, once he can think again, he swipes his finger over the tablet’s smooth screen and realizes Rika has given him (well, technically stolen) exactly what he wanted.
A way to speak to Toge.
And though it’s very early in Japan, Yuuta takes a brave leap of faith.
He’s rewarded when Toge answers his video call with a sleepy smile and a soft konbu.
“Inumaki,” he breathes, suddenly a little choked up at seeing Toge’s sweet face mellow with sleep, his silver hair a little longer and falling into his eyes. Yuuta’s heart aches at the sight of him. “Sorry to wake you, I know it’s early there. I just… wanted to talk to you.”
Toge’s smile grows and Yuuta sees him perk up a little, the light of his phone screen reflected in lavender irises.
That’s home, Yuuta thinks, yearning. That place, with that boy.
Just wait for me, Inumaki. I’ll be home soon enough.
3.
Shibuya is a wasteland.
A little like his heart.
“Rika,” he murmurs, standing at the edge of the ruin. He’s tense, tight like a bowstring before it’s loosed as he scans the crumbled horizon. Rika manifests at his shoulder.
“Yuuuuuuuta.” She sounds sad, no doubt reflecting his inner turmoil. Yuuta swallows against the lump in his throat, eyes burning as he surveys the devastation. How could anything have survived in this?
There’s a scream building behind his rib cage.
He’s been gone so long - growing taller, stronger, more confident - only to return to this. What was it all for if he’s too late?
“I need to find Toge, Rika,” he tells her, the words like grit between his teeth. He wants to snap, to howl, but Miguel’s training is still hanging on by a thread, telling him to observe, to understand his environment.
Then unleash.
“Tooooooge,” she croons, drifting back and forth as if already searching. “Toge’s missssssing.”
“That’s right,” he answers quietly, the fire in his heart banked, smoldering, “but we’re going to find him.”
Any other outcome is unthinkable. He can’t allow himself to even contemplate it.
They go immediately to Toge’s last known location, near the edge of the destruction, but the place is leveled. The mere sight of it cracks something in Yuuta’s chest. Toge was here, in this? Shoko had reported Toge had been trying to evacuate and protect civilians and had gone missing in the aftermath but Yuuta can’t wrap his brain around what he’s seeing.
There’s nothing.
There’s some piles of debris and that’s where he mindlessly focuses his efforts, eviscerating some small curses no doubt born from the pain and suffering experienced in that place. He digs through crumpled concrete and scraps of metal until he’s covered in dirt and ash himself, all the while calling for Toge, his own voice bouncing back to him, the world empty and dark.
“Inumaki!”
Yuuta’s chest heaves as he pushes over a portion of what once had been a huge street sign. He can feel himself getting worked up the more he struggles and the longer it takes to sort through the rubble. Every minute he takes is a minute longer Toge is out there somewhere, hurt and alone.
After an hour, Yuuta is sweating and shaking, frustrated with himself that he seems to be getting nowhere. Why can’t he find him? Yuuta’s goal has always been to become someone others could rely on and now Toge is waiting for him, depending on Yuuta to find him and Yuuta is failing him.
Standing on top of an obliterated parking garage, Yuuta screams his self-disappointment into the night.
“Toge!”
He’s breathing heavily, angry at his inability to do this one thing after his friends had suffered so much in his absence, when he‒
Yuuta pauses, searching the darkness.
He hears something.
“Yuuuuuuta.” Rika manifests at his side urgently. Yuuta turns to her, a plea in his voice.
“Find him, Rika,” he begs. She’s always done her best to get him what he needs and he needs this. Desperately. “Please.”
“Toooooge.” Rika takes off with a long howl of the other boy’s name, immediately honing in on some point just beyond the major destruction zone, where some debris has been blown outward but structures on the spot are more intact. She tears into a pile of broken concrete, her powerful arms throwing whole slabs aside as if they’re nothing but paper. Yuuta stays close, heart pounding, calling fiercely for one small sorcerer left behind.
Rika finds him wedged in a void created by a collapsed wall. He makes small, wounded noises when she lifts him out, his little body cradled in her massive, clawed hands. She offers him to Yuuta like a broken gift - part of Toge’s left arm is… not right.
“Toge’s huuuuurt,” Rika says mournfully.
Yuuta takes Toge gently, trembling. Toge’s unconscious and feels cold though there’s sweat on his forehead as if he has a fever. He’s pale, covered in dust and dirt, and Yuuta’s sure he's never seen anything so beloved. He presses RCT into Toge immediately, trying to feel out the other boy’s injuries. The energy is enough to bring Toge around for a moment, familiar lavender eyes fluttering.
“Yuu…ta…”
The raspy, broken whisper hits Yuuta like a punch to the stomach.
“It’s alright,” he says, choking back tears, “I’m here. I’m here now. You’re safe.”
Toge’s out again, going limp in Yuuta’s hold, but his breathing sounds just a little easier. His left arm is bad, he’s lost some blood, but Yuuta’s certain Toge’s going to be okay.
Yuuta’s back now. He’ll make sure of it.
+1
Yuuta hadn’t really thought about what it would be like afterwards.
Truth be told, somewhere in the depths of his heart, he hadn’t actually thought he would make it to an ‘afterwards’. He’d been fully prepared to lose his life fighting Sukuna and now that it’s over and he’s still here - well, it’s almost a little unnerving.
What do they do now without Gojo? He feels a little adrift, unmoored from the safe harbor that were his years under Gojo’s gaze. The higher ups are gone, Tokyo’s sorcerers are either dead, maimed, traumatized or utterly exhausted. It’s overwhelming to think that, somehow, they have to go on after all the violence, blood and tears.
These thoughts are on his mind as he aimlessly walks the compound, directionless. He’s not sure where he’s going until he gets there and then he pauses on the edge, relaxing as he suddenly understands why his troubled heart has brought him there.
The school garden is lush, full of green and growing things, new life pushing up through dark, damp soil.
And sitting there tending it is Toge.
Something uncurls in Yuuta’s chest, a tension that’s been there for days as their ragtag group tries to find some sense of normalcy. That he’s found a small piece of it here, in the dappled sunlight, is not surprising.
Toge’s always been a source of comfort to him. Even with an empty, fluttering sleeve at his side, he’s still the same boy who touched Yuuta gently on the shoulder during their first mission, trying so carefully not to startle him. The same boy who whispered Yuuta to sleep when his mind wouldn’t allow him to rest, who let Yuuta wake him up in the small hours of the morning so they could talk even while separated.
I still have him, he thinks. I still have Toge.
He watches the other boy for a few moments, reassuring himself with the sight of him. Toge’s silver hair is ruffled by the breeze, falling into his violet eyes as he leans over on his knees to pull away a weed. He seems to be absorbed in what he’s doing, working in silence as he runs his fingers over soft leaves, pinching away dead growth and prompting new with every touch.
Toge’s not in his uniform today, but a gray pair of jeans and a white v-neck shirt that seems to be too big for him, the sleeve on his right arm rolled up as he works. He’s not wearing a mask or collar today either, his sigils bare to the sun.
Yuuta likes this look on him. He looks… young.
Free.
“Tooooooge.”
Yuuta startles badly, flustered as Rika manifests next to Toge, looming over the cursed speech user. Yuuta watches, captivated, as Toge looks up at Rika, giving her a tiny wave, eyes crinkling.
“Konbu.”
Rika twirls in place. “Toge’s flowers are preeeetty.”
Toge nods in agreement and then reaches over to pluck one, laying the heavy blossom gingerly in Rika’s clawed hand. It’s a blush pink peony, it’s petals thick and luxuriant.
Rika coos and Yuuta notices that she’s very careful not to crush her small gift. “Preeeeetty,” she croons again and Yuuta has to rub at his eyes, a lump rising in his throat. Seeing them like this, together, is just…
He knew Toge and Rika were interacting somehow when he was close by but not present. He just never expected for it to be so… so precious. Rika could be jealous and protective at times but with Toge she seems so tame, as if she cares for the other boy, too.
Yuuta inhales sharply.
Is it possible that because Yuuta cherishes Toge, that Rika also…?
He steps away from the building in almost a trance, drinking in the sight of the two beings closest to him in the world sharing a moment, wanting only to be a part of it.
Toge notices him almost immediately and flushes beautifully, a soft smile on his face at the sight of him.
“Tsuna tsuna, Yuuta.”
The warmth that infuses Yuuta at the sound of his name in Toge’s rare voice is a welcome distraction, an addiction that Yuuta never gets enough of. He can’t help but smile in return, heart in his throat. Whatever ghosts he’d been worrying over dissolve when he sits down in the grass next to Toge.
Toge’s real and he’s here.
The other boy’s small fingers pluck another flower - a pure red cosmos - and offers it shyly to Yuuta, who takes it fondly. The slim flower is delicate with a bright center and Yuuta can only think that it would look best on Toge, dramatic against his pale skin.
So he tucks it softly behind Toge’s ear, brushing back his silky hair with broad fingers. Toge’s blush is lovely and endearing. Yuuta never wants to leave him again and says so.
“Can I stay here with you?” he asks quietly, searching Toge’s face. His fingers are still in Toge’s hair, brushing the fragile shell of his ear. He can’t seem to stop touching him. He doesn’t want to.
Toge’s lips part, breath catching. “Shake,” he murmurs, and Yuuta understands it’s an answer to everything unsaid blooming between them.
Yes.
The kiss is sweet, chaste, and leaves Yuuta breathless. He savors it, closing his eyes so he can memorize the honeyed glow of it. There’s nothing at all in his mind now except for the feel of Toge’s lips on his and the soft sound the smaller boy makes when they part.
Nearby, Rita squeals, still cradling her flower, as Yuuta presses his scarred forehead to Toge’s so they can breathe together, their fingers intertwining.
They’re going to be okay, Yuuta realizes. Whatever happens now, whatever future is unfurling, it’s going to be okay.
Yuuta already has everything he needs.