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It wasn’t a good day. Regina hated hearing that in her own mind, because it felt like the moment she acknowledged it, everything that could go wrong intensified. She couldn’t even remember if she’d read that somewhere or if it was something her mother had told her on one of those mornings when she woke up in a bad mood.
Regardless, Regina’s bad mood that day stemmed from something she wasn’t exactly proud of: Aleksander. Living with Claudia—and knowing about the things she secretly did with Tronte Nielsen—Regina had always harbored a quiet fear of falling so deeply in love with someone that she’d cross certain boundaries. In fact, she wasn’t even sure if her mother was in love with him. But Regina? There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt.
She was in love with Aleksander.
Whenever he looked at her, butterflies danced in her stomach, and all those ridiculous clichés from romantic comedies she used to scoff at suddenly felt real.
The problem was, she had no idea where he was—and it was driving her paranoid.
The way they met had been far from ordinary, and because of that, she couldn’t stop her mind from spiraling into the worst possibilities. Dark, intrusive thoughts swirled in her head, making it nearly unbearable to focus on anything else. She didn’t even believe it herself when she worked up the courage to ask her mother about him. After all, Claudia had given him a job just like they had planned. But as soon as Regina mentioned Aleksander’s name, Claudia’s expression shifted, her entire demeanor turning guarded—as if it were a forbidden topic.
Regina didn’t understand.
Claudia didn’t have the patience to explain.
And the more she was left in the dark, the more anger and worry consumed her, until all she wanted to do was scream.
She found herself thinking about him again during the break between classes.
The last time she’d seen him.
Aleksander had shown up after class and casually invited her for coffee. She remembered the way people looked at them, their stares filled with disbelief, as if they couldn’t wrap their heads around what they were seeing. Regina couldn’t really blame them. She, too, found it hard to believe that someone would actually want her company.
But Aleksander proved otherwise.
They talked about his work—though he didn’t give many details—and about some of the people from Winden he’d already met. He complimented her hair, though he admitted he’d miss her curls, and when he gave her that mischievous smile, Regina felt her cheeks burn.
That was a week ago.
Now, she had no idea where he was. And she missed him. God, she missed him so much.
It wasn’t just some teenage crush—at least, it didn’t feel like it. But how could she know? She’d never been in love before. Yet, from the moment she first saw Aleksander, Regina had been completely captivated.
By the way he’d protected her. By that enigmatic, almost unreachable aura that surrounded him. By the way he saw her when everyone else seemed blind to her existence. By the laughter he drew from her. By his kindness.
By those beautiful blue eyes...
And now, he was gone. Disappeared, as if he’d taken a piece of her with him—without even realizing it.
Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she was trying to fix her bangs when she heard Katharina and Hannah laughing. She quickly entered the bathroom stall. Even though Aleksander had protected her, she was still afraid of being in small spaces with Katharina and, honestly, she didn't want her head stuck in a toilet.
“How come you never told me this?” Hannah's voice was present.
“I don't know! So much has happened in the last few days that I didn't even remember...”
“Were you scared?” Even though Katharina laughed mockingly at her question, Hannah's tone of voice didn't sound like a provocation. Regina noticed that there was a hint of concern.
“Of course not! But I'm not stupid either, am I? The guy had a fucking gun! I wouldn't argue” Katharina snorted. Regina rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. She was in a daze that day, but she saw the way Katharina and Ulrich ran away. God, she wanted to kiss Aleksander for that. In fact, not only for that. “It was all so strange. That guy is so suspicious!”
“He's really suspicious...”
“And you know what makes me even angrier? I can't even report that son of a bitch because he took Tiedemann's side!” Katharina focused on her reflection in the mirror, more precisely on the purple color in her eye, which still drew some attention. “The beating she was going to get was nothing. How I hate that delicate little flower! She wouldn't survive a single day in my house!”
Regina felt a mix of feelings. Her face was hot, her fists clenched, with a suicidal urge to leave that cabin and confront her about all that nonsense she was saying. A laughable thought in Regina's mind, she would kill me in a second. It even seemed like she knew Regina was right there. Still, she couldn't help but feel sorry when she heard the last part.
Hannah swallowed hard.
“Did he know her?”
“Who? The freak?” Katharina asked and Hannah nodded. “No, he came out of nowhere. He doesn’t seem to be from Winden.”
“Then why did he ... why did he only stop to help her? It doesn't make much sense” Hannah sat on the sink, thoughtful. “People don't usually intervene in these situations. Even when it's something serious.”
Katharina shrugged.
“I don't know! Maybe he has a crush on her” she said before they both burst out laughing. “What's wrong? Maybe Tiedemann is his type!”
“And is she anyone's type?” Hannah scoffed before her expression cleared with an idea. “Do you think she changed her hair just because of him?”
Katharina laughed again.
“I'm sure she's totally in love with Prince Charming! There must be several hearts with his name in her notebook” while Hannah was laughing, Katharina thought of some more mean things. Regina continued to be embarrassed, feeling humiliated by the two of them. “I almost feel sorry for her, you know?”
“Sorry for Regina? You?”
“Yeah” Katharina sighed. “The two of them even match in their weirdness. I bet she must have thought about it herself. But it’s very obvious that he helped Tiedemann out of pity and that he only sees her as a friend. He never thought he hook up with her or anything like that.”
Ever since that day in the forest, Regina promised herself that she would no longer cry over the mean things Katharina said about her, and that was why she didn’t shed a single tear. However, hearing that, she felt a pang in her heart, because perhaps what she was saying there was the answer to Aleksander’s disappearance.
Katharina and Hannah didn’t know Aleksander. In fact, Regina didn’t know him very well either, but from what little she knew, she could tell he was a good person – capable of stopping to help a girl he didn’t even know, even while bleeding from a gunshot wound to the shoulder, after dealing with some idiotic bullies.
The least she could do to repay him was to help him in return, but it didn’t matter whether his actions were genuine or if she changed her hair. As her mother would say, first impressions are lasting impressions. And she was someone worthy of pity, a poor thing he would at most see as a friend – and nothing more.
Caught up in that feeling, Regina didn’t even notice when the two had already left, or that the bell had already rung. She left the booth, looked at herself in the mirror, and suddenly couldn’t feel the slightest bit of the confidence she had felt before
***
Regina took a while to get back home. On the way, still lost in her thoughts, she ended up stopping at a video store and renting the movie Somewhere in Time, for pure escapism. She remembered watching it with her mother before she left. Maybe watching a romantic movie wasn’t the best way to heal a broken heart – especially that particular one – but at least she could tell Claudia that her teary eyes and red nose were because of the movie.
That was, of course, if she got home before Claudia went to bed. In any case, she didn’t even have the strength to care. She was too busy feeling ashamed for having spent all that time daydreaming about Aleksander when, in fact, Katharina had probably been right all along. Even so, she missed him.
“The man of my dreams has almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of, in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me.” Elise spoke during the play and Regina tried to hold back her tears amidst the soundtrack.
The doorbell snapped her out of her doldrums. She wiped away her tears and glanced at her watch, realizing it was still too early for her mother to arrive – besides, she would have the key. She seriously considered not answering; who would want to talk to her? It was then that her eyes widened, and she rushed to the door, her heart hammering in her chest. She only became certain when she saw Aleksander through the peephole.
“Aleksander?” she asked, not even believing he was really there. He was wearing a blue and black striped sweater that suited him strangely well, along with his leather jacket. The way he smiled at her made the sting of Katharina’s words hit her even harder.
“Hi, I’m sorry for visiting you so late and without warning,” Aleksander said, his hands in his jacket pockets. “But can I come in? I really wanted to talk to you.”
“Sure,” she said, opening the door wider so he could enter.
When they both got to the living room, Regina realized she was still in pajamas. Aleksander had already seen it, of course, but she quickly wrapped herself in her pink robe, hoping to project a more adult image, even though her white socks with heart prints suggested otherwise.
Noticing her improvised disguise, Aleksander smiled at her. That was before he noticed Regina’s red eyes and nose.
“Hey, were you crying?”
“Oh, no! Please don’t ask if I’m crying,” she thought, feeling a lump rise in her throat. Regina swallowed hard, managing to control the tears threatening to spill. She shook her head and pointed at the television that was still on.
“The movie is... very sad,” she said, wiping her face with one hand.
“Are you sure?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice, almost as if he could feel what she was feeling. Regina nodded, her arms crossed, trying to smile. Why did this have to be harder than it already was?
A very awkward silence settled in the room, almost absurd because it had never been like this between them before. They both felt it.
“Do you want to sit down?” Surprisingly, it was Regina who broke the silence. When she finally looked at him, Aleksander seemed to be analyzing her, as if trying to read her mind.
“No, it’ll be quick. After all, your mother should be home soon.”
Regina gave a melancholy smile.
“Don’t worry about it.” Although her response wasn’t immediate, the way Regina said it made Aleksander speak right away:
“I know I disappeared.” Regina looked up at him, perhaps for the first time since he had arrived. Besides sincerity, she saw almost an afterthought in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Regina smiled. None of this is your fault, she thought. As much as she wanted to ease whatever Aleksander thought she was blaming him for, part of her wanted to express her own feelings, because that was what they had always done: shared things, opened up to each other, been friends. It didn’t matter if she had interpreted things differently. Above all, they were friends. “I…” she moistened her lips, trying not to cry. I missed you, was what she wanted to say. “I was just worried. That’s all.”
When she said that, she automatically looked away, hugging herself. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, she scolded herself for sounding like they had any kind of relationship. Despite her insecurities screaming, Aleksander smiled subtly.
"I know. I mean, I imagine so," Aleksander said, seeming to carefully choose his words. The way he fidgeted with his hands was making her anxious—and curious. "It’ll probably sound like a lame excuse, but I’ve been busy these past few days taking care of some urgent things. I was also afraid your mother might answer if I called you."
Regina nodded several times, trying to show she understood. "It’s okay, I’m serious."
"I never wanted to worry you. That’s why I came here today," he said, starting to rummage through the pockets of his jeans. He pulled out a flyer and handed it to her. Regina took it and read the details: it was about a movie session at the Drive-in. She looked up at Aleksander, questions swirling in her eyes, while he smiled at her. "I hope you’ll accept my humble apology."
She blinked at him, still processing.
"I remember you once said you liked The Goonies."
Yes, she was in love. If her heart had held any doubts before, they were gone now. And that couldn’t have been worse.
"...I don’t have a car yet, but I thought we could have a picnic on the grass," Aleksander shrugged, his voice casual. Regina wanted to cry. Seeing how her expression shifted, Aleksander stopped. "You’re acting strange."
Regina swallowed hard, struggling to hold herself together. She was about to insist that everything was fine, but Aleksander closed the distance between them. His gaze softened, so warm and sweet that it made her doubt if there was any universe in which she could not be hopelessly in love with him.
"Tell me what happened, please," he asked gently.
"It’s stupid," Regina said, shaking her head.
"I highly doubt it."
Regina sighed deeply, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "You know you don’t have to do this, right?"
“Do what?”
Pretend to care about me just because you feel sorry for me. She could handle rejection—it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to it—but pity? No. Anything but that, please. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud, not with him standing so close.
“You saved me in the forest, and I helped you with the bandages,” she said calmly. With each word, Aleksander looked at her with more questions than understanding. “We’re… even.”
“Even?” he repeated, letting out a soft laugh through his nose. “But I don’t want to be even with you, Regina.”
Her sad eyes met his as he stepped closer.
“I know you’re not,” she replied, a faint smile on her lips. “And that’s why you’re already better than everyone else in this town.”
Aleksander shook his head, smiling.
“You are my favorite person in this town.”
Her heart, which had been so lifeless, stirred again. It was a warm feeling, tinged with bitterness—so typical of her.
“It’s not like you know everyone else,” she teased.
“I don’t need to,” Aleksander said firmly. “Every time I talk to you, I know you’re my favorite person. Not just in Winden.”
Regina didn’t know how she managed not to cry at that moment, but somehow, she did. She knew she would remember his voice saying that forever. Especially that night.
“Hey, I need to tell you something.”
Her head dipped again. Reality was finally catching up with her.
“I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while.”
“Alek… I kind of already know.”
“You know?”
She avoided his eyes.
“Yes, and you don’t need to worry about it. I didn’t expect that…” She surprised herself by saying it without stuttering, her tone steady, almost confident. Where had that come from? She couldn’t explain it. “I didn’t expect it to be mutual.”
If she had looked at Aleksander then, she would have seen a faint smile on his face. But she didn’t. Instead, she kept talking, her gaze fixed anywhere but on him.
“But your friendship has meant so much to me, and I’d be happy to keep things the way they are.”
“Regina, you’re the reason I stayed in Winden.”
“I know,” she sighed. “I helped with the issue of—”
“No, Regina,” Aleksander interrupted, his voice firmer now, making her finally look at him. “You’re the reason.”
Oh. Oh.
The weight of his words hit her, and her face flushed. Aleksander smiled softly as he reached out, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“And I don’t want to be anywhere else where you’re not. Ever again.”
In that moment, all the pain that had clung to her for days vanished. A disbelieving smile crept onto her lips, warmth replacing the ache in her chest.
To leave no doubt, Aleksander kissed her.
And from that moment on, they were never apart.