Chapter Text
Ray sits anxiously inside her nsx in front of the musty motel. She had just felt the steel tip of the cold metal gun against her forehead by a clown who’s mask should have made her cower in fear. The mask was pale white with a smile so wide and sinister it reminded her of the ones she saw in her nightmares as child after watching a scary movie. It had blue eyeshadow that rested on the eyebrow bone and red tufts of hair at each side. She should have been afraid for her life, but the dark amber eyes that peered back at her through the mask weren’t malevolent. Instead she grew a sense of trust amongst the individual whose eyes matched the promises of her safety and her items back. The group of clowns weren’t out to hurt her, they were just trying to get one of their own mothers out of the creepy individual, Joe Goldberg’s , prison cell he created. He had multiple victims locked in a cage inside his motel room. Ray wasn’t expecting the guy she had one date with on Valentine’s Day to be some serial stalker and kidnapper, but here she was. Her body got goosebumps when she thought about how it could have easily been her locked in that cage.
Everyone in her gang had left, but she lingered behind, not wanting the adrenaline she was feeling to disintegrate. She couldn’t stop her hands from shaking, as she tried to settle them down by gripping the steering wheel till her knuckles turned white. She watched as the group of clowns forced Joe into the car, as the rest of them piled in after. A part of her wanted to go with them, and see what they planned to do with Joe. She didn’t understand why but she was very intrigued by the silly group. A part of her was jealous that the excitement wasn’t over for them yet, and she was not looking forward to going back to selling weed for the day. The one that had aimed his gun right at her head, the one who took her weapon off her, the one who reassured her the entire time that she wouldn’t be harmed, and the one who had given her a bouquet of flowers is the last one to get in the car. Before he does though he looks up at her, his piercing brown eyes connecting with hers. She thought that would be it, he would get in the car and shut the door and take off, both of them going their separate ways. She watches as he shuts the car door, not getting inside the vehicle, but instead he starts walking towards her. His strides look purposefully, like he was on a mission, when he was almost to her car she rolls the passenger side window down.
Chatterbox saw her lingering in the distance, observing them all. He didn’t acknowledge her presence right away though, he wanted to see how long it took before she would speed off in her million dollar sports car. It wasn’t until Cleo and the rest of the clowns started loading the yuckbag, Joe, into the car that he made eye contact with her. He planned to ignore her gaze completely, get in the car and never see her again, but he could feel her stare burning in the back of his skull. Giving in to his curiosity his eyes find hers, and what he sees in them is not what he was expecting. What he saw was longing, yearning, and desire in her storm brewed eyes, recognizing the familiar feelings he would always get, THRILL, EXCITEMENT, AND ADRENALINE. He saw her fingers losing their color, turning pale white from her powerful grip, as she tried to anchor the shakes she had coursing through her bones. He could see how badly she wanted to come, but not wanting to ask, not knowing if she could ask. He doesn’t know if it was his curiosity getting the best of him, or her big doe eyes that secretly pleaded him to go to her, but suddenly he is shutting the car door without getting in and making his way towards the intriguing gang member. With each step closer he could notice something new about her, the way she bit her lip in anticipation, the way her eyes widened in anticipation for what was to come next, and the way she never looked away from him, always meeting his gaze.
When he gets to her car he leans in on the window she just rolled down for him. He pokes his head inside her car, giving his eyes time to adjust to the contrast of the sunlight and shade her car provided. Once he stopped seeing white spots he was able to make out her features just as clearly as he could earlier when he had no choice in pointing his weapon at her skull. The light freckles that danced across her cheek bones to the bridge of her nose, her sun kissed skin that had no blemish in sight, and her dark raven hair woven together into two braids to tamper her unruly waves.
“Everything good? Is your expensive sports car running fine?” He thought it would be funny to tease her a little, seeing if she would be honest about what she is feeling right now, but he doesn’t hold his breath, she was in CG after all. They weren’t really known for being honest about their emotions, masking the difficult ones with guns and violence.
“What? Uh.. yeah it’s fine why?”
He notices her small stutters over her words, as she chews on her bottom lip. He notices how her leg starts shaking, all her jitters trying to find some release. She couldn’t sit still, it was cute as yuck, he thought to himself, not sure where the thought exactly came from.
“Just wondering why you are still waiting back here.”
“Oh umm, you see..”
He thought about letting her continue on, seeing how much she would stumble over her words to try and find an excuse, but he knew how badly it sucked having an adrenaline rush building up inside. It felt like your body was on fire, itching to find any kind of release.
“Is it the adrenaline racing through your veins right now?”
“How did you know?”
“Well for starters your hands look pale as a ghost from the chokehold you have on that steering wheel.” He points his gloved hand over to where hers sat, “And I have the same issue when something insane happens, sometimes it takes me hours to come down from the high.”
“Yeah…”
Her voice trails off, her eyes look away from him but before he can respond she continues on, her voice growing smaller.
“I’m also a little jealous that all this excitement isn’t over for you guys yet. After I leave here I’ll probably be at the cubby selling weed.”
He has to stop his eyes from widening in shock, he hadn’t expected her to admit to wanting to tag along for the fun. He figured she would try and deflect, but instead she was honest with him. He hated hearing that tone in her voice at her last comment, she seemed so bored. All he wanted to do in that moment was give her a chance to feel something, he shakes his head but at himself for what he is about to say, seeing her be so honest with him drove him to offer her a once in a lifetime deal.
“Well Ray Mond you are more than welcome to join us, if you think you can handle it.”
He watched her stormy gray eyes suddenly sparkle like a polished silver coin, reflecting the glee she was feeling inside.
“Really!?”
“I don’t see why not. This sack of yuck used you too, if you wanna find out more I wouldn’t blame you. We are taking him to the Funhouse, do you know where that is?”
“Nope.”
Right… He forgot a lot of people in the city called the house grandma’s, stopping by when they needed some medical attention when they couldn’t go to the hospital. Not many people knew the house was actually passed down to him by his adoptive father, Bobo, but that was okay. People seemed to respect the house more thinking it belonged to an elderly lady tending to criminals.
“Uhhh some people call it grandma’s.”
“Oh I’ve been there before!”
“Great, so you know where it’s at!”
“Nope.”
“Uh, Okay. If you want I can ride with you and give you directions.”
“I have a better idea.”
“Let’s hear it!”
His voice beams in pride, he loved hearing when someone else had an idea, he was always the one coming up with the ideas. Even though this wasn’t really anything crazy he was still intrigued with what she was going to say. She doesn’t say anything, just turns the engine off and gets out of the car. His eyebrows furrow at her actions, not understanding what her plan here was. Out of nowhere she jingles her car keys in the air and tosses them over in his direction, as he catches them in one hand easily.
“You drive!”
She walks closer to where he is standing, he doesn’t move from his spot though, being caught completely off guard by her actions. She wanted him to drive her car? Did he hear her correctly? Why would she want him to do that? The only time he ever got to drive a car like this was if he stole it from somebody, even then he never got to enjoy it because he was usually being hunted down by the said somebody. He always wrecked the vehicle as well, to be fair that was because gang members would try to pit him into a wall just to get their precious car back, but she was being completely serious about him driving.
“Excuse yuckin me?”
Before she even says anything he almost caves to the look she gives him. Her eyes keep gleaming more and more, but now she has this puppy dog look to them, as she bats her eyelashes up at him. He didn’t register her making her way around the whole car, standing right in front of him now.
“Whaaattt! I hate driving! And you know where to go, it will be so much faster this way.”
He can’t help but laugh at her comments, as he watches her cross her arms over her chest, giving him a mischievous look as she continues to make her points.
“Besides, I am a passenger princess, especially when I am on a date with a guy.”
There she goes again, shocking him with her words. What did she just call this? It wasn’t a date.. At least that wasn’t what was running through his mind. He just wanted to help give her a day she would never forget.
“Woahhh this is not a yuckin date.”
He holds his hands up to her, as he watches her eyebrows crinkle at him. How could she think he was even referring to that, he wasn’t ready to date anyone probably ever again, not after just losing his wife three days ago…
“Riiight, coming from the guy who just gave me a bouquet of flowers not so long ago.”
Chatterbox gulps in response. She had him at checkmate at that comment, his own teasing joke from earlier kicking him in the butt. He had gone along with CG’s teasing, mostly for the funny, but he had also wanted to get rid of the flowers. They were supposed to be for Giggle’s grave, but he couldn’t bring himself to go visit it, his guilt eating him up on the inside. So he saw the joke as a perfect opportunity to try and get the reminder of his biggest mistake out of his sight. He thought about arguing with Ray, but he didn’t feel like going into details about his late wife’s death, instead he opened the passenger side door for her.
“Just… get in the yucking car.”
“Hehehe okay!”
His hand covers the face of his mask as he shakes his head at her, what did i get myself yucking into, he thought to himself as he walks over to the driver side and slides in. He places the key back into the ignition, then slowly moves the car up to where the other clowns were waiting for him. He pulls up next to them on his window side, wanting to give them an update on what was going on.
“Yo Kirk! Giblets! Ray Mond here wants to tag along for the ride, she doesn’t know where the Funhouse is so I’m gonna drive her there. We will follow behind you guys!”
Kirk and Giblets give each other a suspicious look at Chatterbox’s words. He knew they were probably watching his interaction with Ray, and being just as surprised by his actions as he was in the moment. He just hoped they wouldn’t make this more difficult on him.
“Sure buddy.. The more the merrier!”
Kirk didn’t say more, but Chatterbox knew he wasn’t out of the woods yet. It was in his best friend’s and brother’s blood to always give him a hard time, and he knew they planned to do just that eventually. He rolls up the window as the other group starts driving away towards their destination. During the drive he can’t help looking over at Ray, he sees her barely able to contain her enthusiasm as she begins bouncing in her seat.
“You good over there Ray?”
She looks over at him, her eyes shining even brighter than they were when he first looked into them earlier. He can’t help but be drawn in by her presence more and more every second he is with her. He feels the vibrations from the road rutters, making him break away from her gaze, signaling him to pay more attention to the road.
“Yes I’m just really excited!! I never get to do things like this!”
“What do you mean you never get to do things like this? You’re in Chang Gang!”
“So? You think they ask me to go to those jobs? I’m not useful enough for them there… Hell I barely get asked to go on bank heists, because I can’t get the hacks down. That’s why I sell weed on the block, at least I can do something to feel needed.”
He doesn’t care that it’s reckless, he looks over to her again, seeing her once sunny eyes now fighting back the tears that threaten to escape down her cheeks. He herself, especially when she clearly meant a lot to her gang, they had dropped everything they were doing to come rescue her. He also knew that being in a gang meant they did expect you to provide something to the table, and it appeared to him that she wasn’t happy with only being able to help with the weed game. He thought about pushing her further, to reason with her about her worth, but he could tell she really didn’t want to cry right now, not when she was just excited to do something so thrilling.
“Well Ray Mond, today the only expectation I have for you is that you have a good yucking time, and if you have any ideas pop into that yucking head of yours, put them on the table.”
“I can do that!”
They finally pull up to the backdoor of the Funhouse, parking right behind the others. He watches as his friends lead Joe into the house, ready to integrate the creep going around locking people in cages. Chatterbox wasn’t one to judge someone for stalking others and kidnapping them, he used to do it all the time, but when he found out Joe was putting people in cages against their will it reminded him of all the times he was locked up in a cage by Bobo when he misbehaved. He looks over at Ray again, as she watches Joe enter the house, he wonders how she even got involved with someone like him.
“I can’t believe I went on a date with that scumbag. I could have been the one locked in that cage!”
“Yeah, why did you go on a date with him?”
“It was Valentine’s Day and I was lonely, and he answered my tweet when I asked if anyone wanted to be my Valentine.”
“Yeah Valenpines Day sucks.”
“You also have a horrible Valentine’s Day?”
“Something like that yeah…”
Chatterbox’s eyes go grim at the images of shooting his wife in her heart, ending her life on the day meant for love, replay in his head like a slideshow. He can feel Ray’s eyes on him, studying his response to her question, as his whole body is now tense. He decides to shift the conversation away from him, bringing them both back to the reason why they were even here, to do who the yuck knows what to Joe. Clearing his throat he chokes out.
“Umm we should probably head inside, they could be waiting for us.”
He slowly opens his car door, hoping he can avoid going into details about that day. He can feel her hesitance getting out of the car, he could tell she wanted to keep asking him questions that he was not ready to answer, but she didn't. Instead she opens her door and steps outside, following him inside the house as he opens the back door for her. She trails behind him as he leads her into the living room where everyone else is. Joe is sitting in a chair facing a fireplace, everyone else is standing or sitting around him. Chatterbox stands by the double glass doors to the living room with Ray at his side leaned up against the wall. Cleo was taking the reins on the interrogation since Joe had locked her ex boyfriend up in a cage. After Cleo was done, he planned to give Ray a chance to say or do anything to Joe if she wanted to, but he could tell just being in the room was helping to ease her jitters. Chatterbox notices Kirk trying to get his attention from across the room, giving him a devious look and mouthing for him to check his phone. He pulls his cell from his back pocket to open Kirk’s text message.
What’s going on with you and her?
Who?
Don’t act fucking dumb, the Chang Bang girl standing right next to you.
Nothing is going on, she just wanted to come and watch.
You were the one that walked up to her back there buddy.
Your point?
You already moving on from Giggles or something?
Chatterbox shoves his phone back in his pocket, irritated at Kirk’s comment. How dare he bring Giggles up, especially like that, and what does he even mean moving on? Of course he wasn’t moving on, she's only been gone for 3 days. He can feel the anger inside him begin to build up more and more, not wanting to disrupt what was happening he decides to remove himself from the situation, exiting the living room. He knew if he stayed in there the chances of him going off on Kirk were high, so instead he made his way outside to the front porch to get some fresh air. He places his hands on the side railing leaning against it as he stares off at the farm. He was deep in his thoughts when he felt someone’s hand on his shoulder. When he turns around he is met by Ray’s silver eyes, with concern written all over them. He had been so lost in trying to control his thoughts he never even heard her following behind him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I just needed a minute I guess.”
“Everything okay? I saw you looking at your phone and then you kind of stormed out of the room. Did something bad happen?”
He wasn’t sure what he expected from a gang member, let alone someone from CG, but it felt like she was genuinely worried about his well-being, at least in this moment.
“ A few days ago yeah… Kirk was texting me in there and he sent me something that just almost made me lose my cool, so I came out here instead. “ He turns around to face her, his hands still leaning back on the railing.
“On Valentine’s Day?”
“Yeah…”
“You and your girlfriend break up or something?”
He flinches at her words, but he understands that she doesn’t know the severity of what happened that day.
“Uh nope… my wife died in my arms.”
He watches Ray’s face drop, her once teasing facade now flooded with guilt and sympathy, sympathy he didn’t deserve.
“I’m so sorry… I had no idea…”
“It’s okay Ray, I know you didn’t, but that’s why I had those flowers back at the motel. I was gonna take them to her grave, but I can’t bring myself to visit it. The guilt eats me up inside, so I gave them to you when CG started giving you a hard time about being seen with me.”
“What happened to her?”
Ray's question lingers in the air for a while. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes when he told her this, so he looked down at his feet, feeling the tears starting to fill his eyes.
“I um. I killed her..”
He expects her to freak out, running away from him to her car and speeding off his land never to see her again, but instead she never waivers. She stands there patiently waiting for him to elaborate further, explaining his side of things. Maybe that’s what makes him open up to her more.
“I didn’t know it was her though…I thought she was already dead…”
“What do you mean?”
“About a year ago Dundee and Barry from the BBMC set her on fire in front of me at the torture chamber, made me watch as she screamed in agony. I couldn’t do anything to stop them and then I never saw her again, till 3 days ago.. She was dressed up differently and wearing a mask and she used a voice changer. I thought she was a gang member, so when she came at me with a hatchet I shot her in the heart…It wasn’t until I removed her mask that I realized my mistake..”
He can feel tears starting to leak from his eyes, as he sees the tiny teardrop staining the wood on the porch. He wanted to run and hide, especially letting his emotions get the best of him in front of a stranger. Even though he felt more comfortable around her then some of his other so called friends.
“Was it a mistake though? It sounded like she was trying to kill you, if anything it was self defense!”
“I don’t know… I did a lot of things I regret now that I think hurt her…I’m not a very good person and if it wasn’t for my actions she never would have been hurt in the first place.”
“I don’t think you’re being entirely fair to yourself right now. We are all human, we all make mistakes. If you didn’t shoot her that night, you wouldn’t be here right now.”
He knows she’s right, it’s exactly what Tessa and Kirk tell him everyday, but he knows Giggle’s felt betrayed by him, for becoming friends with Barry, and forgiving him. If he never did, if he just held on to his resentment, Giggle’s would still be alive… If he never kidnapped her and tricked her into thinking they were married, she would still be here right now. He can feel himself slowly wanting to give in to the heartbreak, to fall on his knees and just scream at the top of his lungs, but he can’t do that. He can't fall apart in front of Ray, especially when the whole reason for her being here was to have fun, not to console his pathetic self. He wipes the tears away with the sleeve of his turtleneck, yanking the fabric away from his neck for a second, it was starting to feel really restricting. After he finally collects himself he forces his eyes to find hers again, he hates seeing that worried look etched on her face. It was the same look he got from Tessa when he told her what happened. He clears his throat, his voice coming out raspy from trying to mask his pain.
“Uh anyways, enough about my yuckin problems. The whole point of you being here is to have fun! We should go back inside and see if you can get your turn at the yuckbag!”
He tries to scurry past her and go back inside, always avoiding the deeper conversations, but also not wanting her first impression of him to be so depressing. He was known for being funny, and right now what she saw wasn’t so funny. Just when he is about to open the door he feels her hand grab his, before he can even register what was happening she did something nobody has ever done before, and something he’s never let anyone do before. Her arms go around his torso and her head rests against his chest as she pulls him in tighter, into a hug… At first his arms hover in the air, not sure what to do with them, he’s never really been hugged before.. The most was when Kirk would pull him in for a quick second to pat him on the back, but this lasted for what seemed like forever. This hug didn’t feel like the one Kirk gave him, this one sent a tingly feeling throughout his entire body, it felt comfortable, it felt warm, it felt intimate… He didn’t want it to end, so he let his arms embrace her. Suddenly it feels like his whole body is ablaze, not in a bad way though, it felt more like they were standing next to a campfire and the flames were dancing around them. Was this what all hugs felt like? Or was it just with her…? His other senses are also overwhelmed, her hair smelled like he was standing in the field of wildflowers that resided a few acres away. Her hums were music to his ears, reminding him of his favorite song that he used to drown out his horrific childhood. She brought him a feeling he never thought he would feel in his life, a feeling Kirk, Tessa, and even Giggles never brought him, peace. The quick moment is short lived when she finally releases him from her grasp, his body longing to try that again. He notices her cheeks are a different shade of red than they were before, making the butterflies in his stomach flutter even more. He is taken out of the trance she put him in when he hears her sheepish voice speak.
“Sorry… You just seemed like you needed a hug.”
If he had trouble beforehand with his eyes being drawn to hers like a magnet, now he couldn’t make his eyes look away. It was like they were on a mission to study every detail about her, to ingrain in his mind forever.
“I guess I did…”
They stand there in comfortable silence for a while, never looking away from the other. He took mental note of every feature about her, her chocolate woven braids, her flawless tanned skin, her teenie tiny freckles, barely visible, but he noticed them, right on the bridges of her cheekbones and nose. Ray is the first one to break the serene silence.
“Soooo do I still get to do something to Joe?”
If she could see under his mask his smile would be almost as wide as the clown one. He was always astonished by the words that came out of her mouth, and the look of desire in her eyes to do something devious. He lets out a small laugh when he answers her.
“What did you have in mind?”
Chatterbox admired Ray’s confident, tough, and clever demeanor as she taunted Joe in his living room. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her as she took out her hammer and threatened the pitiful dude. She asked him questions about how long he was stalking her, hearing how obsessed this guy was with Ray made his blood boil. He was seething through his teeth, imaging all the different ways he could torture this guy, that was until Kirk’s elbow nudge him in the rib.
“You know I was just teasing you earlier right? I don’t think you are replacing Giggles.”
Kirk and him are leaning up against the wall, watching Ray mocking Joe. Cleo was sulking in the corner after he had been stern on letting Ray get her piece of revenge.
“It just caught us off guard seeing you be so attentive to someone.”
Chatterbox understood what he meant, he was also surprised with how much he cared about Ray, even before these small moments together. He cared enough to ease her anxiety at the motel, he cared enough to give her the chance to unleash her adrenaline rush, he cared enough to stand up to Cleo and Bryce when they tried to say no, and those were only the things Kirk knew about.
“I don’t know what to say man, other than she is just really interesting…”
Before Kirk can make a quick remark, Ray’s hammer strikes Joe’s hand. The cracking of his bones echoed throughout the house, Atta girl, Chatterbox thought to himself, beaming at her with pride.
“YOU STUPID BITCH! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”
Joe’s threats screech out of his lungs at Ray after she shattered the bones in his hand. Before he can think clearly, Chatterbox lunges from the wall at Joe, not taking the yuckbag’s words very kindly. He was ready to defend her, to torture Joe like there was no tomorrow for her, but she steps in his way. Her hand rested against his fast beating heart thumping out of his chest, her eyes looking at him with reassurance that she had it under control. He takes a step back, giving her the space she needed.
“YEAH BACK UP YOU HIDEOUS CREA-”
Before Joe could finish his insult, Ray had smashed her hammer against his temple, knocking him unconscious. He watches her closely as her chest is heaving up and down, trying to catch her breath, finally finding her release from adrenaline’s high. When she turns to face him, her sultry and captivating eyes meet his, just when he thought he saw it all, she surprised him even more.
“He needed to shut up.”
“Yucks right he did!”
They weren’t touching, but they were standing so close to one another it was like they forgot what personal space was, as their eyes never left the others. Everyone around was staring at them, but they didn’t notice in the slightest as they spoke to one another through their eyes.
Thank you. I needed that.
Anytime
They are finally taken out of their own little world when Cleo speaks up, asking if they can finally take Joe away. Kirk and Giblets help carry Joe’s unconscious body to Cleo’s car, leaving Chatty and Ray alone again.
“That was yucking awesome.”
“You think so?”
“Oh yeah!”
Ray’s phone suddenly starts ringing, it was dark out now, time had gotten away from everyone tonight, and people were probably worried sick about her. Chatterbox watched as her face lost its color when she saw who was calling her.
“Fuck fuck fuck!”
“What what what”
“I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, they are probably freaking out, and Randy is calling me now.”
When she mentions the british bloke a tang of jealousy tugs at his heart. He didn’t understand the feeling though, and he definitely didn’t feel deserving of having someone as amazing as her in his life. He felt blessed being able to feel a fraction of what it was like to have Ray Mond in his life, he understood why so many people in the city flocked around her. She was his adrenaline that he was chasing the whole day, like a drug he craved desperately for more, but knew he could never have.
“Hey Randy… Yes I’m okay…Where am I?”
She looks up at Chatterbox, her eyes are swirling in anxiety, he knows the boys wouldn’t like her being here with him. He expects her to lie to Randy, to make up some excuse on where she has been this whole time, why is he surprised when she does the complete opposite.
“I’m at the Funhouse with the clowns…NO THEY DIDN’T KIDNAP ME!... I came here willingly…”
He is completely stunned by her words, she didn’t care if they knew, does that mean she would want to spend more time with him again… He had so many questions he wanted to ask her, he wanted to know more about why she felt like her worth was what she could provide for the gang, when it was others who were unworthy to be in her presence.
“No Randy they are not making me say this…NO DO NOT COME HERE WITH YOUR GUN!...IM LEAVING NOW I’LL BE BACK SOON!.. DON’T COME HERE GUNS BLAZING!”
She hangs up the phone, her eyes now looking at his, sorry written all over her pupils. He knew her time here was only temporary, still he selfishly wished for a few more hours of just being in her existence.
“I should get going, Randy is irate and thinks you guys kidnap me or something. He doesn’t think I would willingly come here after you guys held me up at gunpoint.”
“Jokes on him right?”
Chatterbox lets out a nervous laugh, of course her gang thought the worst of the clowns, they always have. Ray rolls her eyes but a laugh escapes her lips at his comment, making light of a serious situation.
“Yeah.. well if I’m not back at the cubby by midnight he said he was coming here and killing you all, so I really should go…”
He wanted to tell her to say “Yuck Him!” let the angry yuckbag come here, he had his own gun, he was willing to fight for more time with her. He didn’t say that though, he knew she cared about those sacks of yuck, and the last thing he wanted was a reason for her to never want to see him again. If he lets her go, surely she will come back, it’s grandma’s for yuck sake, so instead he nods in agreement at her words.
“I’ll walk you out.”
They head outside to her car, noticing Cleo and Bryce finally leaving in the distance with Joe, hopefully he remains locked up behind bars forever. Kirk and Giblets are on the back porch watching the other two walking side by side, so close their hands brush against each other. When they get to her car, he can feel his chest begin to tighten, realizing he may never get to be this close to her again. She waves goodbye to his friends, that he wishes would go the yuck inside, and then she looks back up at him. The full moon made her eyes sparkle silver, her smile shining like a beacon leading him home.
“I don’t know if you would want me to hug you again, but if you d..”
Before she could finish her sentence he was already wrapping his arms around her waist, craving how it made him feel when she was pressed against him. Her arms wrap around his neck, and her feet start to dangle from the floor when he picks her up a little, hugging her tightly. His thoughts raced from what the yuck this woman was making him feel. It scared him to death, and he didn’t know what he was going to do about it.
“Goodnight Chatty.”
“Goodnight Ray.”
Goodnight, not goodbye…She opens her car door and starts getting in, but turns around to face him again. She had one more thing she wanted to say to him.
“Um Chatty… If you ever need… or want someone to go with you to visit your wife… I’d be willing to go with you… for support and all, if you need a friend.”
A friend. She saw him as a friend, how lucky was he to hear those words leave her lips. The more she spoke, the more hope he got that he would be able to be a part of her life somehow. He would sneak around with her if he had to, he wouldn’t even tell Kirk, if it meant he got to make her laugh more and know more about her.
“You know Ray, I may take you up on that one day.”
She smiles widely back at him, getting back into her car, the tinted windows covering his view of her. Finally she starts her engine and rolls her window down, waving sporadically at them all, then she starts honking her horn as she drives away. Chatterbox watches her car disappear into the night, feeling her absence already, he drags his feet back to the Funhouse where he knows he is about to be grilled by a bunch of questions.
“Fuck me to tears boy, what the hell was that?”
Without a word Chatterbox grabs Kirk and yanks him into a tight hug, wanting to test his hypothesis from earlier if hugs were always so intoxicating, but it didn’t feel anything like it did with Ray. It wasn’t horrible but his body didn’t feel that same warm fuzzy feeling it did with her. What the yuck does that mean? Did she have some kind of magical powers that made him lose his yucking mind?
“Aww buddy this is so nice!”
“Yeah don’t get used to it, I was just testing something.”
He pushed Kirk away, watching him act offended by his actions. Hr was very overwhelmed by all his emotions swimming in his brain, guilt from killing his wife, guilt from forgetting about killing his wife while with Ray, the warm safe feeling he got with Ray, and the confusing feelings he got with Ray.
“Testing what?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Chatterbox brushed past Kirk and stormed inside the house, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, and then trampled his feet up the creaky stairwell. He could hear Kirk following behind, wishing he would just mind his own business. He makes his way into his room and outside on his balcony, opening the sinful poison, letting the fluid burn his throat as he takes multiple gulps.
“What has gotten into you tonight man?”
“I wish I knew Kirk, I wish I knew…”
What had gotten into him tonight? He was playing a dangerous game that could ultimately destroy him, but he was already an addict missing his drug of choice. His hand goes to the back of his neck, massaging it, while he tries to soothe his own anxiety.
“I don’t know what it was, but she just had this… this energy and this light, it was like she was always glowing, and I hate lights man, but with her it felt like I was drowning in it.”
He was thankful for the liquid courage making the words slip off his tongue easier, confessing what he was feeling inside to his best friend. Kirk joins him at the balcony and motions for the bottle, taking just as many swigs as Chatterbox just did.
“You gonna see her again?”
“I don’t know, maybe… hopefully… But right now I’m gonna drink away all the guilt eating me up inside.”