Chapter Text
Trees and buildings blurred together as Hannah raced down the backroads of Ignacia, the bass from her radio rattling through her. It served as a good distraction from the racing thoughts that would otherwise occupy her mind. She hadn’t been back here in years, quite frankly she never expected to return. Leaving for college was supposed to be the closing chapter on this place, but life changed, plans changed, and now she was back. Unfortunately.
Her GPS chimed, interrupting the half-screaming lyrics, “In a quarter of a mile, turn right.”
Hannah glanced at the ETA. Five more minutes until she reached her destination. In the back, she could hear her guitar rattle in its case, stacked on top of boxes filled with the few possessions she didn’t either sell off or give away during her move. The bare minimum, just something to get her started.
She turned off onto a gravel road which took her into a small parking lot. Salt crunched under her tires as she slowly rolled through. Yellowed grass peaked through a light dusting of fresh snow on the ground. She recognized her brother’s car, a pearl white hybrid, and parked her beat-up red sedan next to him. She stepped out into the air, only to be greeted by a bitter winter breeze biting through her leather jacket. Teeth chattering, she fished her phone from her pocket and checked Kyle’s text.
Safe driving! When you get here, meet me under the gazebo. I’ll debrief you on everything there :)
Hannah glanced around, spotting the wooden peak of the aforementioned gazebo first, and then the figure waving beneath it. She waved back and walked over, doing her best to still her chattering teeth. Still, she couldn’t stop the greeting that exited her mouth when she reached her brother--
“It’s fucking cold out.”
Kyle laughed. “Good to see you too.” He held his arms open and she accepted a hug. It’d been years since she saw him over something other than a video screen. She’d forgotten the warmth of his embrace, better than any oversized wool sweater could offer. After the month she’d had, it was more than welcome.
“Wanna take a walk?”
They walked down one of the trails, pine and birch towering over them. Fluffy snow crunched underfoot, leaving the imprints of Kyle’s sneakers and Hannah’s boots behind them. They chatted about nothing for a while, catching up. He still worked as an assistant director at the local theatre. He was still getting his Associates online after receiving his GED last spring. He’d made friends with a group of guys he was living with. Perfectly mundane. Hannah envied him.
Eventually, the conversation turned to why they were really there.
“So, about you staying here, Cole managed to get in contact with an old friend of his who lives here--”--Hannah nodded along as Kyle spoke, trying to conjure the image of his roommate from the few glances she’d gotten of him in the background of a video call. Mostly, she remembered tall--”--and she and another girl are both in need of a roommate, so we’re gonna be heading there tonight. The complex is super nice. They said their supervisor is nice too, though I didn’t get to meet him…” He paused, licking his lips. Hannah focused on her breath fogging out in front of her in a white mist. Her cheeks were frosted over at this point and fresh snow had started to fall, catching on their lashes and speckling them with white.
He put on a small smile for her, the knit and raise of his brow betraying an ounce of desperation. “New start, right, Han? Away from everything else.”
“In this town,” she pointed out.
“In this town, but that’s just another new start! New start, new memories, new you.”
“New me?” Hannah blew air from one of her cheeks. “Yeah, new me. Not gonna let it get me down. We keep on moving, right?”
“We keep on moving.” He held out a gloved fist to her. Slowly, Hannah drew her clenched, frozen fist from the pocket of her jacket and bumped it against his. Hannah looked back at the trees standing tall above her, towering into the ashen sky.
The sun was gone by the time Hannah arrived at the apartment complex, replacing the overcast gray with mars black. The building towered high. Ten, maybe twenty floors up, windows giving a vague idea of exactly how many rooms there were in all. Kyle said they would be heading to the fourth floor, down near the end of the hall. He said this through labored breaths as he carried the two plastic bins of clothes and dishware up the front steps. Hannah followed behind, her guitar case slung over one shoulder and her backpack with the few sentimental items and decorations she had on the other. She would’ve split it more evenly, but Kyle insisted he carry the big things. At least the elevator worked, giving him a moment of reprieve as they rode it up.
Hannah leaned against the cool stainless steel, bracing the heels of her hands on the wooden bar lining the walls, and listened to the elevator’s soft hum as she mulled over her plan. Her savings would go to her groceries and third of the rent. That gave her about two, maybe three months to start finding a stable source of income, depending on how much ramen she felt like eating. From there, it was a mystery. The thought of staying in Ignacia made her stomach clench, but moving again was a long way off. Plus, it was nice to be near her brother again. Video calls and virtual hugs didn’t feel the same as the real thing.
Ding. A pleasant note played as they reached their floor, the doors opening to reveal a large, traditional ink painting. Hannah remembered studying it in her World History 101 course, something about an ancient army? Maybe she would ask….
She bit her lip. Scratch that. Hannah couldn’t ask Nataly anymore.
Grunting, Kyle picked the boxes back up. “We’re headed to the left.”
Hannah looked away from the painting, turning her attention to the rest of the hall. With its mottled eggshell walls and marbled blue-and-white nylon carpet, the place felt more like a motel on the coast. Hannah half expected to see the walls decorated with seashells and watercolors of the beach. Instead, there were more paintings like the one in front of the elevator. Black ink on aged yellow canvas--at least, it looked aged, though Hannah suspected that was a manufacturing trick--depicted various scenes she vaguely recognized. Old legends and historic events chronicled like it was a museum. The doors were all white, with gold numbering. Circular shades covered bright fluorescent lights, illuminating the hall in halos of light.
At the very end of the hall, on the right, was room 413. It wasn’t any different from the other doors, save for the unmistakable bit of pink nail polish staining the otherwise shiny golden doorknob. Kyle nodded to it. “Could you knock? My hands are a little, uh…”
Knock knock knock .
When the door opened, Hannah had to glance down to see her presumably new roommate’s face. The other woman tilted her head upward, revealing a pair of deep black eyes behind white, square-framed glasses. Her gaze made Hannah shiver.
She glanced at Kyle. “Hey, you’re Cole’s friend, right?”
“Uh, yeah! I’m here to move Hannah in.” He nodded at her. Meanwhile, she was still trying to size up the girl in front of her.
“Cool. Come place your stuff in the living room.” She turned and, barely raising her volume, called, “Roxie! She’s here.”
Hannah heard the distinct sound of something falling further in the apartment, followed by a door opening. From a hall across the living room came Roxie. She was taller than all of them, wearing pajama pants patterned like an old arcade carpet and a purple tank top. Her smile was so bright and white it could’ve lit up the room alone.
“Hey! You must be Hannah! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” She ran up and pulled Hannah into a hug before the other had a chance to get a word out. “Cole and Kyle have told us a ton about you.” She released Hannah and turned to Kyle, hugging him just after he set Hannah’s boxes down. “You too! Oh, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you in person. How’ve things been with you? How’s Zane doing? Did his move out go well? Are Jay and Cole still getting on well? Cole’s told me how he was worried that when Zane left--”
“Rox, you’re smothering me.”
“Oh!” She stepped back. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just all so much happening! We can talk later. Hannah--”--The redhead braced herself for another surprise attack, though it didn’t come. Instead, Roxie held out her hand--”--it’s nice to meet you. I’m Roxie, one of your new roommates.” She pointed at the shorter girl, who was now in the kitchen stirring something on the stove. “That’s Jasmine, your other new roommate and my old one. She’s making dinner right now. Do you like soup?”
“With this weather? Soup sounds amazing.”
“Perfect. Kyle, you’re welcome to stay too! We can do all our catching up.”
“Yeah, I’d like that. Plus, I can make sure this one actually unpacks and doesn’t live out of her suitcase.” He nudged Hannah side and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. I did perfectly fine without you for years.”
“Perfect! Ugh, it’s been so long since we had any visitors. I’ve been swamped with work, Jasmine too, but now we’re on holiday, so we can help you settle in and show you around town.”
“Actually, I, uh, kinda know my way around already,” Hannah said, immediately wanting to smack herself. That was rude. She was just being nice!
Thankfully, Kyle stepped in. “Hannah’s from around here, like I am. Still, she doesn’t know a lot of the new spots, so maybe some walks around town would still be good.”
“Yeah, sure, I’d like that.”
“Hey! If you three are done talking, dinner’s ready!” Jasmine called from the kitchen.
The soup, as it turned out, was chicken noodle. Hannah hadn’t had a good meal like this in a while, since the past two weeks were focused on eating through the food in her pantry. A lot of her meals ended up being canned veggies on white rice… sometimes with ketchup. A bowl of creamy, homemade chicken noodle soup was exactly the thing needed to make her feel at home.
Eating also allowed her to stay mostly quiet throughout dinner, with Kyle and Roxie doing most of the talking. They talked about Kyle’s roommates (one of them, Zane, moved out to live with his girlfriend recently), costuming (Roxie was an aspiring fashion designer and did commissions on clothes and costumes for performers in the area, along with alterations), and celebrity gossip (there was a rumor that Tommy Deep, who played Captain Soto in a recent biopic, had a secret daughter with his costar Terra Kingsley). Jasmine more or less ate in silence, occasionally adding to the conversation in the beginning (Zane, as it turned out, was her half-brother, and his girlfriend was a coworker of her’s, so she knew the most about how it was going) but dropping off towards the end. She didn’t say anything to Hannah, which was perfectly fine with her. She didn’t know what Kyle told them already, but hopefully it didn’t go beyond needing a place to stay and having enough money for rent.
Once dinner was done, Roxie and Jasmine worked on washing up. The former insisted Hannah and Kyle go work on getting unpacked. “We’ve got it from here. Your room is down the hall, first door on the right.”
The room was probably the nicest Hannah had ever lived in. She’d only lived in four throughout her life, so it wasn’t a high bar to clear, but still. There was a full-size bed, flanked by two nightstands, and a chair with an ottoman in the corner next to the door. Instead of the ash hardwood floors present in the kitchen and living room, there was brown marbled carpet. Plus, she had her own bathroom, which was a shock. She’d figured they’d all have to share.
They took the time to unpack her bedsheets and a few other essentials for the night, but decided to call a five-minute break when they realized they were just trading yawns as they meaninglessly fluffed the two pillows Hannah owned.
She leaned against the wall, surveying the room. She wore a small smile. “Damn, I owe you one. You sure there’s not some kinda catch with this place?”
“Just the rent. It’s a little pricey for the area, but worth it for this place.” Kyle laid back on her bed, legs dangling off the side. “You sure you don’t wanna start unpacking?”
“Nah, I wanna rearrange. Bed needs to be put in the corner, I wanna use one of these nightstands to display stuff, that sorta thing. Plus, I’m tired, and I bet you need to be getting back to your place.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Kyle sat up and stretched. He walked over to Hannah and gave her one last hug. “Promise me you’ll get all your clothes hung up in the morning?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“And you’ll call if you need anything?”
“Yes! Geez.”
“You sure you’re gonna be alright?”
“I’ll be fine. Roxie seems nice, Jasmine too. If anything happens, I’ll text you.” She squeezed him. “New start, new memories, new me.”
“Alright.” He let her go and gathered his phone and keys. “I’ll say bye to the others on the way out. Love you, Han.”
“Love you too.”
He left, shutting the door behind him. Hannah flopped back on the bed. She pulled out her phone, put in her earbuds, then scrolled through her library of music. Her normal assortment wasn’t the most appropriate for the melancholy vibe of the evening, and the closest thing she had was music she downloaded for Nataly, which ruled it out entirely from her listening. It was stupid, she knew that, but she couldn’t listen to her songs. Not yet.
Finally, after hitting the near bottom, she picked one of the artists Kyle showed her, a bedroom pop singer boy named Wolf Silver. A smooth tenor voice and synths filled her ears as she stared up at the ceiling, once more running the game plan through her head, trying to solidify the details. Three months for her to find a job. Maybe she’d go back to waitressing, or maybe she could check out the local bar scene for open mics and hope she got picked up by a talent agent.
Yeah, right. Waitressing was her best shot. If not that, she could probably grovel at the feet of any shop owners that knew her as a kid for a retail job. Maybe they’d take pity. Maybe they’d also finally found out about all the merchandise she “borrowed” as a kid and kick her to the curb. Either way, worth a shot.
Once she had a job and rent, then she could work on getting out of this town again. As nice as it was to be near Kyle, as nice as this apartment was, and as nice as her roommates seemed, she needed to be out of this town. New memories could never replace the old ones. A new start could never make up for the old ending.
Sighing, she shut her eyes. It was just so real now. It was like every fiber of her bedsheets and clothes dug into her back as she lay there, reminding her. She could hear the clock in the back of her mind ticking away, counting down and up at once. Hours since she left, months she had to get it together, months until she could leave again, weeks since it all changed.
Seconds served as sheep as Hannah drifted off to the metronome in her mind keeping time of the music in her ears.