Work Text:
The expansive field stretched endlessly before them, a sea of green broken only by the occasional patch of wildflowers swaying lazily in the breeze. Above, the sky was a relentless expanse of blue, not a single cloud to offer respite from the blazing golden sunlight that poured over the land. For Rou, it was a straightforward mission, a route to secure and check off their list. But for Inami, it felt like a merciless battlefield, the sun an unyielding foe, and every step a battle against his dwindling energy.
The two had parted ways with Hoshirube and Kagetsu earlier that morning, splitting their paths to ensure both routes to the city were clear of danger. It was their responsibility as heroes to keep the peace and lending a hand wherever they were needed. Though their job was noble, the journey was often grueling, and today was no exception. The sun hung high above them, an unrelenting force that seemed determined to sap every ounce of strength from their bodies.
"Inami," Rou called without turning, his voice clipped. "You’re slowing us down."
Inami groaned dramatically, dragging his feet even more. "Rou, you’re not human. How are you not melting in that oven you call an outfit?" He shielded his eyes with his arm, glaring at the sun as if his disdain could dim its intensity.
"It’s just the sun. Stop whining." Rou’s pace didn’t falter, his gaze fixed ahead. “And you can't just take off your jacket like that, you look more like a workshop helper than a hero now.”
Inami flailed his arms, letting out a melodramatic sigh. "You don't understand me! I'm carrying a hammer that's almost twice my weight! And it's not the sun—it's a blazing inferno! I’m pretty sure I’m halfway to becoming a fried egg here!"
Rou’s lips twitched, almost betraying a smile, but he kept his expression neutral. "Good. Then I won’t have to cook dinner tonight."
"Roooou..~!" He whined, stomping the ground like a petulant child. "I can’t go on like this! My face is burning, my legs are jelly, my shoulders are heavy, and my soul is leaving my body!"
"Then let it." Rou muttered, his tone laced with sarcasm.
Without warning, there was a loud thud behind him. Rou halted, glancing back to see his teammate sprawled facedown in the grass, arms and legs akimbo like a starfish.
"Seriously?" Rou raised a brow, staring at the pitiful display. For a moment, he stood there, debating whether to acknowledge the theatrics or let Inami stew in his self-inflicted misery.
The silence stretched, filled only with the distant rustling of the wind.
Rou sighed heavily, taking a deliberate step forward before stopping. He didn’t even turn around as he called out dryly, "You’re not dead, Inami. Get up."
Inami didn’t move, his voice muffled as he spoke into the grass. "I live here now. Tell Kagetsu and Rube I fought valiantly against the sun... but lost."
Rou rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the faint smirk tugging at his lips.
Rou stared at this so-called hero, lying flat on his stomach like a defeated warrior, lips pressed against the grass. A muttered insult slipped from Rou’s lips, too low for Inami to catch. He crossed his arms, arching a brow as he watched the ridiculous scene unfold. How long was this guy planning to stay there? Rou almost hoped a worm would crawl into his nose just to see the reaction.
Minutes passed before Inami finally lifted his head, dirt smudged across his face, his eyes glinting with exaggerated betrayal. He spit out a blade of grass that had accidentally made its way into his mouth and glared at Rou, his expression a perfect blend of disbelief and self-pity.
"Unbelievable," Inami croaked, pointing a shaky finger at Rou. "How could you just stand there while I suffered?"
Rou snorted, failing to suppress a laughter. He smirked down at his teammate, clearly amused. "The hell are you doing, kissing the ground? Need a moment alone with Mother Nature?"
Inami then sat up with a dramatic groan, still rooted to the spot. "Rou, you have no idea what I’ve been through.. The sun is relentless, the ground is hard, and now I’ve eaten grass! I’m traumatized!"
Rou rolled his eyes, though his smirk didn’t fade. "You’re an idiot."
He clasped his hands together, his whining voice cutting through the peaceful field. "An idiot who needs help! I can’t go on! My legs are noodles, my spirit is broken—"
"The only thing that broken is your voice." Rou quipped, rubbing his temples. The noise was getting to him.
Realizing this wasn’t going to end unless he intervened, Rou let out a long, resigned sigh and walked over to Inami, standing behind him. Without a word, he grabbed Inami’s arms under his armpits and hoisted him up—or rather, dragged him, since Inami immediately went limp, a dramatic deadweight in Rou’s grasp.
"Rou, I’m a lost cause…" He mumbled as he was dragged unceremoniously across the hot grass. "Save yourself….."
"Shut up." Rou replied, gritting his teeth. He didn’t even bother with Rai’s theatrics, too focused on hauling him forward. The guy was heavy—his hammer was, poor him he has to carry this gigantic weapon.
Inami peeked up at Rou with a small pout, dirt streaked across his face. "You’re ruining my heroic image, you know."
"You don’t have one." Rou shot back, his voice laced with sarcasm.
After what felt like an eternity of being dragged across the grass and his ass that feels like burning, Rai groaned as he felt the dragging come to a halt, the rough friction against the grass replaced by a cool, shaded stillness. Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking against the sudden change in lighting.
They had stopped under a massive tree, its branches spreading wide and dense, creating a haven of shade. The ground was cooler here, and the oppressive heat felt like a distant memory.
He tilted his head back, spotting Rou leaning against the trunk of the tree. The guy had plopped down without a word, his arms crossed over his chest, and his gaze pointedly directed anywhere but at Inami.
A soft breeze rustled through the leaves, and Inami couldn’t help the small, dramatic sniff he let out. He pushed himself up onto his elbows, glancing between the tree and Rou. "You dragged me to shade?"
Rou snorted, his expression flat as he replied, "No, I dragged you to shut you up."
Inami sat up fully now, brushing dirt off his shirt as he stared at him, wide-eyed and a big smile. "You… you do care!"
Rou’s brow twitched, and he looked at Inami out of the corner of his eye. "What are you talking about?"
"You brought me here!" He flailed his arms, gesturing to the tree above them. "You saw me suffering—truly, deeply suffering—and you dragged me here to save me! You're my hero!"
Rou scoffed, tilting his head away as a faint flush crept to his ears. "Don’t flatter yourself. It’s just a good spot to rest."
"Ha!" Inami pointed at him with an accusing grin. "You never rest while working. Ever. You brought me here because you were worried about me."
Rou stiffened for a fraction of a second before glancing away. "Maybe I got tired of hearing you complain every two minutes."
"Oh, Rou," Inami sighed dramatically, leaning back against the tree with his hand over his heart. "You’re so bad at this lying stuff, but I know the truth. You dragged me here so I wouldn’t keel over in the sun like the fragile flower I am..."
Rou shot him a glare, but the slight twitch at the corner of his lips betrayed him. "Keep talking, and I’ll leave you here for the bugs."
"But you won’t." Rai leaned closer, his grin widening.
Rou closed his eyes, exhaling sharply. “Don't test me, Inami Rai." Rou muttered, but the threat lacked any real bite.
Inami laughed, the sound light and infectious as he settled into the shade, glancing at the hero beside him. "Thanks, Rou." he said, quieter this time.
Rou didn’t reply, but he didn’t need to. The way he stayed put, his posture more relaxed than usual, was answer enough.
The gentle rustling of leaves and the soft caress of the breeze created a serene atmosphere under the tree. For a while, neither of them spoke, content in the rare stillness. Inami leaned against the tree with his eyes closed, his breathing steady.
Rou, sitting a short distance away with arms crossed, seemed just as relaxed—though anyone who knew him would guess he was likely recharging for the next leg of their journey rather than indulging in the tranquility. It wasn’t often he allowed himself to relax like this, even briefly. Yet, the cool shade and soft breeze made it easier to let his guard down—just for a moment.
But that fleeting peace was short-lived.
Rou’s eyes snapped open as something heavy and unexpected landed on his lap. He froze, his heart skipping a beat when he looked down. There, sprawled without a care in the world, was Inami.
The guy had shifted positions without warning and now rested his head comfortably on Rou’s lap, his eyes closed and a cheeky, satisfied smile tugging at his lips.
"—OI!" Rou growled, his voice low and sharp.
"Hmm?" Inami hummed lazily, not bothering to open his eyes.
"Inami." Rou’s tone darkened, his brows furrowed as his face flushed with equal parts irritation and embarrassment. "What the HELL are you doing?"
He tilted his head slightly but didn’t move otherwise. "Resting." he said simply, his tone dripping with mock innocence.
"Not on me, stupid! Get off!" Rou hissed, his hands twitching as if debating whether to push Inami off or just strangle him.
Inami’s smile widened, though his eyes remained shut. "Mmm. So comfy~" he mumbled, barely audible but just loud enough to drive Rou up the wall.
"You—" Rou bit back his words, his cheeks burning. He glared down at his teammate, who looked completely unbothered, his face relaxed like he’d found the perfect pillow.
Rou groaned, his patience hanging by a thread. He could’ve easily shoved Inami off—or at least, that’s what he told himself—but something about the way Inami looked so genuinely at ease made him hesitate. The guy had been whining for hours with that stupid hammer of his, and despite Rou’s annoyance, he knew their journey had been exhausting.
After a moment, Rou sighed heavily and resigned himself to his fate. "You’re insufferable." he muttered, shifting awkwardly to find a position that didn’t strain his legs.
The adjustment must have been just right because Inami let out a soft sigh of contentment, his face blissful. Rou couldn’t help but glance down at him, his expression softening despite himself.
Rou felt a twinge of awkwardness again. His pride protested the situation. If anyone from their team—or worse, anyone they were supposed to be protecting—saw this, his reputation would take a hit he wasn’t sure he could recover from.
He glanced down one last time, noticing the slight smile still on Inami’s face. His annoyance melted, replaced by something he couldn’t quite name—something warm and unfamiliar.
"Idiot." Rou muttered under his breath, his voice softer now.
He leaned his head back against the tree, closing his eyes again. "If someone sees us like this, you’re explaining it." he grumbled, though deep down, he doubted he’d care.
For now, they were heroes off-duty, and for once, Rou decided to let it slide.
On the other side, the bustling streets of the city were alive with activity. Merchants called out to advertise their goods, children laughed as they played, and the warm afternoon sun bathed the cobblestone roads in golden light. Hoshirube and Kagetsu wandered through the crowd, their pace slow as they surveyed the area for anyone who might need their assistance.
It had been hours since they’d arrived, and though their stroll through the lively city was a nice change of pace, their two other teammates were still nowhere to be seen.
Kagetsu, trailing a few steps behind Hoshirube, suddenly broke the silence. "Hoshirube, I’m hungry."
Hoshirube stopped mid-step, turning to face him. Kagetsu stood there with his usual calm, unreadable expression, though his words carried a tinge of childlike simplicity that made Hoshirube tilt his head in slight concern.
"You’re hungry?" He repeated, pulling his wallet from his pocket. He opened it, sifting through the few coins left. His expression fell when he realized the truth: he was broke. All his money had gone toward water throughout the day, his nature leaving him perpetually thirsty.
He glanced back at Kagetsu, who now looked at him expectantly, as if he’d just ordered from a menu and was waiting for his meal. His straightforward demeanor, combined with his calm, boyish face, made him look like a child asking his mother for a snack.
Hoshirube sighed, scratching the back of his head. "You have money, right?" he asked, though he already suspected the answer.
Kagetsu shook his head without hesitation. "Do you think a ninja has money?"
Hoshirube blinked, momentarily thrown off. "What does being a ninja have to do with not having money?"
Kagetsu shrugged, his face as blank as ever. "I don’t carry material possessions. It’s inefficient."
Hoshirube pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to suppress the growing urge to groan. "So what, you just survive on air? Or do you rob people?"
"Stealing isn’t honorable either." Kagetsu replied calmly, crossing his arms.
"Then how do you survive, tensai?" Hoshirube demanded, exasperated.
Kagetsu tilted his head, as if the answer were obvious. "Other people pay for me."
Hoshirube let out a loud sigh, throwing his arms up. "Great. So now I’m supposed to feed you too?"
"You are my teammate," Kagetsu said, his tone matter-of-fact. "It’s your duty to ensure I am in peak condition."
Hoshirube glared at him, though the expression lacked true heat. He knew Kagetsu wasn’t being malicious—it was just the way he was. Still, it didn’t make the situation any less frustrating.
Hoshirube’s stomach growled too, reminding him that he wasn’t exactly in peak condition either. "Well, I guess neither of us is eating unless we find some miracle or free food." he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Kagetsu, unfazed, simply started walking again. "Then let’s look for food. Someone in this city must need help. Maybe they’ll reward us."
Hoshirube grumbled, “what kind of hero expecting a reward..?” But he follows after him anyway, doesn't want to argue.
The two set off once more, Hoshirube’s mind racing for ideas while Kagetsu walked with the unbothered ease of someone completely unconcerned by their predicament. They were a pair of heroes, all right—one who whined too much, and one who seemed to lack basic survival instincts.
He glanced at Kagetsu, who walked a step behind him with the same stoic expression as always, seemingly unbothered by their predicament—at least until he spoke again.
"Hoshirube," Kagetsu said, his flat voice cutting through the noise of the city. "I’m hungry."
Hoshirube stopped in his tracks, shoulders tensing. He turned slowly, his narrowed eyes locking onto Kagetsu’s calm face.
"You just said that five minutes ago." Hoshirube muttered, his voice laced with irritation.
"And it’s still true." Kagetsu replied without missing a beat, his tone as neutral as ever.
Hoshirube pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling sharply to keep himself from snapping. "Listen," he began, pointing a finger at Kagetsu. "You’re going to have to hold out until Koyanagi and Inami show up. They’re probably loaded with snacks. Just… wait."
Kagetsu tilted his head slightly, as if considering this suggestion. "How long will that take?"
Hoshirube groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "The hell I know?! They’ll get here when they get here!"
Kagetsu nodded once, as if satisfied with that answer, and resumed walking. Hoshirube followed, muttering under his breath about teammates who couldn’t even go a few hours without food.
They fell into silence again, though Hoshirube could feel Kagetsu’s presence behind him like a nagging itch. Every time they passed a food stall, he braced himself for another comment.
Sure enough, after only a few more minutes, Kagetsu spoke again. "Hoshirube—"
"I swear If you say you’re hungry one more time—" Hoshirube snapped, spinning around to glare at him,
Kagetsu blinked, his expression unchanging. "But I am hungry."
Hoshirube groaned loudly, running a hand down his face. "I know! Believe me, I know. Just—can you not? For like, ten minutes?"
Kagetsu’s gaze drifted toward a nearby stall selling grilled skewers. "It smells good."
Hoshirube followed his gaze and immediately regretted it. The sizzling meat, perfectly charred, practically called to him. He could feel his own mouth watering, but he shook his head and turned away.
"No money, no food." he said firmly, marching forward again. "Now come on. Maybe Koyanagi and Inami will get here faster if we stop whining and actually focus on finding someone who needs help."
Kagetsu didn’t respond, but Hoshirube could feel his eyes lingering on the food stall for just a moment longer before he trailed after him.
"Just wait a little longer," Hoshirube added, his tone softer now. "They’ll show up soon."
Kagetsu nodded silently, his hands tucked into his sleeves as they continued walking. Though his stomach grumbled softly, he didn’t complain again. At least, not yet.
It's been fifteen minutes, Hoshirube was walking briskly now, determined to ignore the gnawing hunger in his stomach and Kagetsu’s endless complaints. He’d quickened his pace without realizing it, his inner tako instincts urging him to get as far away from his teammate as possible. But Kagetsu, ever the ninja, didn’t let the gap widen for long. He was right on Hoshirube’s heels, as silent and persistent as a shadow.
The brief peace that followed felt too good to be true—and it was.
Out of nowhere, Kagetsu let out a dramatic, primal groan that echoed through the streets. Heads turned as the calm, stoic ninja suddenly broke character and bellowed at the top of his lungs:
"AARRGHH!! I’M GONNA EAT YOU, STUPID TAKO!!"
Hoshirube’s heart leapt into his throat. "HUH—"
Before he could finish, Kagetsu launched himself onto Hoshirube’s back with all the grace of a ninja-turned-koala. His arms wrapped tightly around Hoshirube’s neck, and without a moment’s hesitation, Kagetsu sunk his teeth into the long strands of Hoshirube’s hair—or most likely, his tentacles.
"WHAT THE—!!" Hoshirube shrieked, his voice cracking in sheer horror.
"STOP CHEWING ON ME!" Hoshirube screeched, his voice a mix of horror and indignation. "THIS ISN’T FOOD! I’M NOT TAKOYAKI!"
"I HAVE NO CHOICE!" Kagetsu yelled back between bites, his words muffled by a mouthful of chewy tentacle. "YOU’RE AN OCTOPUS! IT’S INSTINCT!"
"Y-YOU'RE INSANE…." Hoshirube wailed, flailing even harder now. "GET OFF, YOU CRAZY NINJA!"
The scene quickly devolved into utter chaos. Passersby stopped in their tracks, staring at the bizarre spectacle of two supposed heroes—their city’s protectors—rolling around in a tangle of limbs, one dramatically chewing on the other’s hair.
"Is this some kind of performance?" a vendor muttered, scratching his head.
"Should we… Call someone?" a concerned woman whispered to her friend.
Meanwhile, Hoshirube was on the verge of tears, desperately trying to free away from the ninja's grip. The scene grew even more chaotic as Hoshirube spun in circles, his limbs flailing while Kagetsu continued gnawing. "I swear to everything holy, if you don’t let go, I’m gonna—OW! IT HURTS..!!"
"It’s chewy, slimy." Kagetsu commented with a mouth filled with his own teammate’s tentacle, completely unfazed by the chaos.
"CHEWY?! THAT'S DISGUSTING SERIOUSLY..!!" Hoshirube screeched, almost crying now, his voice nearly cracking from indignation and horror. "LET GO OR I SWEAR I’LL—"
Before he could finish his threat, a passing child pointed and laughed. "Look, Mommy! The ninja’s eating the octopus man!"
Hoshirube froze, his entire body trembling with mortification.
"I… hate… everything."
Finally, with one last burst of strength, he managed to pry Kagetsu off his back and shove him onto the ground. Kagetsu sat there, looking mildly dazed but still hungry, strands of Hoshirube’s long hair sticking out of his mouth like spaghetti noodles.
"Never," Hoshirube hissed, jabbing a finger at Kagetsu. "Never, EVER do that again."
Kagetsu, still sitting on the ground, blinked up at him, completely unrepentant. "I was hungry."
"So you decide to eat me?!"
"You’re an octopus." Kagetsu said matter-of-factly, as though that explained everything.
Hoshirube grabbed his head in both hands, groaning loudly. "I’m surrounded by idiots. Literal idiots."
Kagetsu tilted his head, as calm as ever. "You taste good, though. Salty."
Hoshirube just glared at Kagetsu with a face mixed of disgusted and trauma, then storming off while muttering about needing new teammates.
Kagetsu stood, brushing himself off as though nothing had happened, and trailed after him with his usual serene expression. "You’ll definitely make good sushi." he mused, earning another loud disgusted groan from Hoshirube.
And so, the two heroes continued their trek, one simmering with barely contained rage and the other still casually contemplating the culinary possibilities of his teammate.