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Vessel had been feeling a little tired lately. Not the kind of tired that trapped him to bed and made him spiral into the abyss. It's just that it was the holidays and he went places, visiting family and friends, and often fell asleep in the car as he went home late in the night. The fact that he tended to skip breakfast when he didn't need energy and work in the morning probably played into this state. It was not out of a punishing behavior, he swore it to II as he peeled himself a tangerine. He just didn't feel like it and would eat if he needed to. Lately, Vessel was doing way better, genuinely. Until tonight. He didn't exactly relapse into a depressive state, he was just exhausted. He was in bed early. IV came up to check up on him and offered dinner. Vessel politely declined. IV insisted, but it was useless. An hour later, however, after Vessel got some rest, he came downstairs. IV was on the couch watching TV, with III by his side, headphones screwed on his head and completely sucked into his manga.
"You hungry ?" IV asked.
"Yeah," went Vessel.
He had his hood up. Not a rare occurrence, but it still rang alarm bells in IV's eyes. Vessel ignored it. He didn't like to worry his lovers, but trying to convince him that he was fine would just make him believe the opposite. He settled for making his actions speak for himself. He prepared himself a bowl of oat flakes with yoghurt and brown sugar. He sat next to IV and ate. IV asked what it was and Vessel explained him. The guitarist then suggested him another recipe with oat flakes to try next time. Vessel nodded, mentally taking note of it.
Vessel looked into the glass of the fireplace. In place of his reflexion, he found an unfamiliar face. It was a boy, looking quite young, and way shorter but chubbier, and blond hair that looked bleached. He was wearing glasses and his clothes were different, but still comfy. He didn't stare long at the boy, but he knew he was looking at him. It was still phasing him sometimes, being a vessel for Sleep's worshippers. But that's what he signed up for. That's what his purpose is. And he was not backing down now. He kept eating his food, feeding another stomach in the process. Who knows how long until this stomach will be filled again.
"Take care of yourself."
"Huh ?"
Vessel was pulled out of his trance-like state by IV's voice.
"You have to take care of yourself. You have to keep going, regardless of where you're going. You gotta make it till all the pieces are in place and you can spoil yourself with a good life, you hear ?"
Oh. IV was probably not talking to Vessel.
"Okay," he stammered. "I will try my best."
"Don't," IV retorted. "You don't have to try to mean anything to anyone. You know better than me that it's best if you don't mean anything at all, but people already love you, unfortunately."
Vessel was completely puzzled by the interaction. He guessed that his current inhabitant would get the message.
"Just don't mean too much. Don't mean too much."
IV was pleading now. What on Earth ? This got too weird for Vessel. He stood up, put the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and went to bed, though not without wishing IV a good night. In his room, alone, he felt like playing. It was one of those nights where he didn't want to play something hard and just wanted to enjoy some simple but lovely chords. He played songs slowly, the atmosphere set by the blue led lights, the reverb and the guitar tuned to a full step down. He was having his fun, his heartbeat evening as he sang to himself. He felt at peace. No one was listening, no one was watching. With no one to perform for, he felt true to himself. He smiled. Until the door cracked open, then he froze.
"Goodnight Vess," II said, done with his nightly routine.
"Goodnight... love."
II entered the room to kiss the top of his head before promptly leaving, closing the door behind him. Well. That's enough singing for today. Vessel wished he had more time, but decided against it. He plugged his wired ear buds and picked a playlist. He looked at the night sky through the window. In the glass, he saw the same blond boy. This time, he was typing on his phone, not paying him attention. Vessel smiled to himself. He knew what he was writing. Vessel got comfortable in bed, closed his eyes and dozed off, getting a well deserved rest and eager to see what tomorrow has in store for him.