Chapter Text
It was supposed to be a good evening.
She was baking cookies, gingerbread exactly.
But this story wasn’t about her, it was about her two friends, good friends, best friends.
Maybe more than best friends.
It was pouring rain outside, Joanne looked out the window. “Now that’s gonna be hell of a night” she thought.
She heard a knock on her door. Even though she knew who had come, it wouldn't hurt to check.
Joanne opened the door with great kindness and energy. Eddie stood before her, soaking wet.
“Hi”
“Hi!” Joanne scanned Eddie’s form. “What the hell? Come on in!”
Joanne was a friend of Eddie and Buck’s from a call. A couple of months ago she was stuck in an elevator and she was pulled by two handsome firefighters. Of course they’re no intention to be friends with her but still- Jo was something else, like she’s known them for years, after they ran into each other in a bar she ordered them drinks, and they shared a couple days and nights. She knew what's happening between them. She could sense everything around her. But it’s none of her business until they told them otherwise. After Chris’ gone to Texas, Eddie started to hang out more with Jo, nothing sexual. So tonight was supposed to be Jo and Eddie’s wine night, or something. And also Buck’s too.
The soft rain continues to pour outside. Eddie walked inside, he’s wearing his coat, completely soaked from the rain. “Why the hell did you get so wet?”
Eddie looked at himself, soaked from head to toe. “I just wanted to walk but yeah…” Eddie laughed with a meaningless act. “Not my best decision.”
Joanne looked at Eddie, he was ready to blame himself all over again for what happened or what’s gonna happen and so she immediately broke the tension with a move that stopped Eddie's gloom.
“Alright, alright.” She sighed. “You won’t do this now, you’ll go inside, I’ll give you a towel, we’ll eat the cookies that I just took out of the oven, and if we’re lucky, we’ll have a lot of fun.”
"Sounds like a good plan," Eddie said to himself, as if surrendering to Jo's imperiousness.
As Jo returned from the bathroom with a towel, she asked, "So... Where’s Buck?" What she was really curious about was why he hadn't come with him, which the question was very obvious enough.
Eddie immediately answered, as if he needed someone to ask him where Buck was... "He's having dinner with Maddie and Chim."
Jo gave Eddie a look. "Nice, maybe we should grab something to eat too."
Eddie looked at the window while taking the towel Jo handed him... "Thanks, it's really pouring out there."
“Oh I can see that pal. Are you cold?”
"Kinda, yeah..." Eddie made a face like a silly child. "I left the car and walked a bit, but it wasn’t raining yet—" his sentence was cut short by a sneeze. "Ughh..."
"Oh no, don't tell me that you’re gonna get sick."
Eddie shrugged. "Nah, it’s okay, I’m fine." He groaned and walked over to her couch, flopping down on it, laying his head back, and huffing loudly. His chest and stomach were slightly damp from the rain and the cold air.
Jo kindly offered, "Forget the fun night, I’m gonna bring you some tea."
Eddie was ready to argue that he was fine, until he sneezed again. A few droplets of water slid down his neck and across his chest. “And you can use the bathroom.” Jo offered all she could.
“It’s okay.” Eddie was stubborn when it came to things like this. Sometimes, accepting the care we need is difficult, but when it came to Eddie, it was often impossible.
Eddie shivered a little, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, thinking for a moment, considering how he felt. Aside from having a slight tickle in the back of his throat, he didn’t feel too bad. He just felt cold, a little tired, that’s all.
Jo brought a cup of tea to Eddie. “There you go, it’s a nice one, drink.” Eddie didn’t like being bossed around, but this time it was different. He knew that the care this time was different. There was a quiet peace in knowing that someone had seen him, in needing to feel that someone noticed him. He felt that with Buck too. Not just for a day, but every day he was in his life. He just realized he had never said it out loud. Jo sat next to Eddie and asked in a soft voice how he was doing. This question felt different from the others, Eddie knew what it meant. So, instead of saying "I'm fine" again, he asked, "Why?"
Jo touched Eddie’s back, her voice now even gentler and friendlier, “Nothing... You seem a little upset, that’s all.”
Was he?
Eddie was about to argue again. But once you’ve been caught, and you realize someone sees you, some words lose their meaning. Eddie simply sighed and said quietly, “I’m not, I’m just tired.” That was the only explanation he could give. His words were a bit quiet, and it was clear he wasn’t being entirely truthful.
Jo said, “Okay, fine. Maybe I can’t know if you’re sad, but I can sense some things.”
As Eddie stared out the window in silence, listening to the rain, Jo realized her friend wasn’t really himself. “If you want, we can hang out another evening, no problem, Buck could come too.” Before Eddie could reply, Jo asked again, “Are you sure you’re okay?” Eddie’s eyes met Jo’s, and even though he tried to keep a neutral face, there was a look in his eyes that gave him away. There was a mixture of sadness that neither of them could voice out loud, but they both knew what that feeling was. He took another shaky breath and shivered again. It felt like everything he had been through was weighing on him. Eddie closed his eyes and didn’t answer this time. Jo knew what to do. Over the time she spent with these two men, there were many habits they did without realizing it. Searching for each other's presence, telling each other secrets, talking on the phone every day. In Jo’s definition of love, it was about doing everything for each other...
Jo suddenly stood up, saying, “I’m gonna call Buck.”
Eddie hated the fact that Buck was worried about him. "No! He's at dinner with Maddies!" he said, meaninglessly waving his hands at Jo. "I don't want him to think about me."
"He's already thinking about you, trust me" Jo wanted to say with all her being, but instead she chose to use simple language that Eddie would understand. “Maddie is a very sweet person from what I know and she has a generous heart that doesn't mind Buck coming here, she knows she can always have dinner with her brother, it's okay.”
He let out a low, shaky exhale as his fingers ran through his hair. “No it’s embarrassing, why’re you gonna call Buck?”
Jo had already picked up the phone and pressed the call button. “For you of course, you’re kinda complicated for me, Buck understands your language”
Eddie looked confused. “My language? What language?”
“Not the Spanish one, amigo.”
As Jo rolled her eyes Eddie mumbled under his breath while he was shivering. “Jo, I'm fine, I don't need Buck to look after me, a few raindrops won't hurt me"
Jo was not a mother figure to them, never. They were probably the same age too. She was not a potential partner to either of them. This wasn’t anyone's wish. Jo was more of a guide who wanted the people who entered her life to see them as they were. And yeah, of course she would love to have two hot firefighter friends in her house, who wouldn’t?
As Jo put his hand on Eddie's forehead, Buck's cheerful voice was heard on the other end of the phone “Heyy”
“Hi, Buck.”
“What’s up? Hey, uh, sorry I couldn’t be there, Maddie and Chim invited me for dinner.”
“Yeah about that, it’s fine, sorry, I interrupted your dinner with your family”
“No it’s okay, we're almost done eating. Is everything alright?”
“Oh good, well— Eddie’s here and he’s kinda—” Jo glanced at Eddie for a second. Buck suddenly interrupted Jo’s sentence with concern. His tone became more serious and worried as he responded. “What’s going on? Is he alright?”
“Yeah, he’s okay it’s just—” Jo looked at Eddie again, trying to assess the situation. Eddie was now slouched on the couch with his head resting to the side. The defiance he had earlier was gone, and he was now feeling the fatigue and illness that had settled over him. “I think he’s running a fever, he’s not feeling well, and I think he needs you.” There she said it, without hesitation.
But when Eddie heard ‘fever’, he slowly raised his head, sighed, and with his eyes closed, said, "I’m fine." He didn’t want to say he didn’t need Buck because he had always needed him, and he always would. Jo noticed this and quietly laughed to herself, though Eddie didn’t even notice.
Buck's fingers drumming on the table could be heard through the phone, betraying his impatience. Buck sighed and his voice was full of concern.
“Oh. Not good. Yeah, umm, I can be there in like— 10 minutes…”
Jo thanked him sincerely. “I’m sorry your dinner was interrupted, but you know, he’s a little stubborn, probably trying to show less than he actually feels.”
Eddie glared at Jo with a flushed face, irritated. “I’m not sick, if you hadn’t noticed, I was a medic! I’m fully aware of my condition.”
Buck chuckled when he heard Eddie's gruff voice on the other end of the phone. Jo looked at Eddie and quietly warned Buck, almost nervously, “He’s in denial.”
Buck sighed, a hint of frustration in his voice. “Yeah, that seems about right for him. I’m on my way, thanks for calling, Jo. Keep an eye on him.”
“Of course, and oh… Say hello to Maddie.”
The sounds of Buck moving around could be heard through the phone, and he spoke again before hanging up. “Sure” and now he was on his way.
Jo, put her hand on Eddie’s forehead again. “Woah i only talked on the phone for like 2 minutes, geez you’re burning up like hell, just lay down Buck’s coming and i’m gonna bring you medicine”
Eddie shifted his position on the couch, now lying down, his arms crossed over his chest.
Jo asked with a concerned expression, "What do you need?" Clearly, taking care of the sick person wasn't her area of expertise. Nor was drama, or men... At that moment, she was stuck in the middle of all of them.
Eddie remained silent now. Jo didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do either. She leaned in close to Eddie’s face, listening to his breath.
While he was still lying in the same position, Eddie murmured, “Buck.”
Jo really wanted to say, “I knew you needed Buck the moment I saw you,” but after a deep sigh, she only managed to say, “Buck’s coming.” She glanced at the half-full cup of tea left on the table. She gathered everything and took it to the kitchen. As she returned with a thermometer and antipyretic, a soft knock was heard at the door.
The door opened, and Buck walked in, carrying a duffle bag. "Hi, is he doing okay? Is he awake?" Buck asked, and without waiting for an answer, he stepped inside. Buck was generally excited, he liked to take charge of situations. Waiting for an answer wasn’t really his style.
His eyes scanned the room until he found Eddie. Eddie was lying on the couch, and yeah, he was awake, but Buck wasn’t sure if his mind was fully here. He walked over, setting the bag down on the floor by the couch. He quickly continued speaking, his voice a mix of concern and care “Did you give him any medicine? What happened?”
Jo suddenly interrupted Buck. “Calm down, no, I haven’t given him anything yet. I wanted to wait for you. I don’t think ten minutes will kill him. Also, what’s in that bag?”
Buck continued to breathe quickly. It wasn’t out of fear or worry. He just had a side to him that always raced against time to make things right, no matter what.
“I brought some things to try and help him feel better.”
Jo smiled, impressed by his care. “You know I'm not living in a cave. I’ve got medicine too”
Buck crouched down next to the couch so he was more eye level with Eddie, noticing how he was shivering and how tense his body seemed.
“You’d be surprised how many homes don’t have medicine or a thermometer, some places can’t even get clean water.” He was probably thinking of all the houses they’d been to on calls. Honestly, sharing some unknown truths was also a bit of his specialty.
"Buck, you’re exaggerating.” She opened the bag and saw a bottle of water inside. She couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you serious?”
Buck never joked when it came to Eddie; he didn’t leave things to chance. At his seriousness, Jo quickly composed herself.
He reached out and gently put his hand against Eddie's forehead, pausing for a moment as he felt the heat coming from him.
“Okay, he definitely has a fever.”
When Eddie felt Buck's hand on his forehead, a warmth spread through his body. It wasn’t the fever—it didn’t hurt—but rather a warmth he was seeking.
“Buck?” he whispered between his teeth.
Buck was now very close to Eddie. He kept his hand on Eddie's forehead a little longer than necessary, as if it was a good excuse to touch him. He frowned slightly and moved his hand away, noticing how clammy Eddie's forehead was.
Buck couldn’t help but speak gently, as if introducing himself to a stranger. “Hey, Eddie, it’s me.”
Eddie furrowed his brow. In times like these, being treated as if he were stupid drove him crazy.
“I know it’s you.”
Buck smiled. "Good, that's good. You’re burning up, but don’t worry."
Eddie opened both eyes to look at Buck and whispered, "I’m not worried, you’re here" then closed his eyes again.
Buck didn’t know what to say in response to Eddie’s trust in him. While he struggled to label his feelings at that moment, Jo continued watching them.
“God, why did you make these two so stupid?” she thought to herself, wondering if there was anything she could do to help.
Buck glanced towards the duffel bag on the floor and sighed as he opened it, pulling out a few supplies. He was now serious and focused on the task.
“His fever's definitely not getting better.”
“That’s why I called you, you know what to do.”
“Yeah, I know what to do. Can you go get me a cool, wet cloth? I need to try and bring down his fever a little before it gets too high.”
“Done” Jo ran through her bathroom for wet cloth as Buck took care of Eddie.
Buck watched as Jo left for the bathroom, then turned his attention back towards Eddie. He gently ran his hand over his arm, trying to soothe him a bit.
“Hey, you're gonna be okay man... I'm here now. We're going to get your fever down. Just relax a little, alright?”
“Yeah…” Eddie whispered as his eyes closed.
Buck took the bottle of water and pills Jo had laughed at out of his bag and handed them to Eddie to drink.
Eddie lifted his head from where he was lying, took the medicine Buck had gently offered him with some water, and then lay back down. He was still shivering a little, and his cheeks had already turned red.
Buck let out a quiet, shaky breath before speaking again.
“What happened Eddie?”
As Buck’s hands itched to run through Eddie’s hair, to comfort him, but he only placed his hand gently on Eddie’s shoulder. And his eyes... It was hard to control. For a moment, he wondered what was really going on. “Is it because of Chris? Maybe he’s more upset than I thought,” he wondered. “Is he hiding it from me, or have I been neglecting him?” Thoughts kept swirling through Buck’s mind as he replayed everything he had and hadn’t done, waiting for a response from Eddie.
Eddie continued to shiver, murmuring, “People get sick, Buck,” and buried himself deeper into the couch.
Buck gave him a questioning look, as if that wasn’t possible.
“Yeah, but not you.”
Eddie didn’t respond. He would do anything to stop the shivering, anything to escape the feeling of helplessness. Buck wondered if he knew how much it frustrated Eddie to confront that weak and fragile side of himself. “Of course, he knows.”
Buck knew this. He loved Eddie just the way he was. The fact that Eddie held a divine place in his eyes didn’t make him a god. Yes, he had put Eddie in a different place in his life—unshakable, indestructible… But what made Buck special was that he knew Eddie deserved to have that fragility. While Eddie thought he didn’t have the right to make mistakes, to be forgiven, or to get angry, Buck knew all his imperfections.
“No matter how many masks he wears, I know Eddie’s real face.”
Despite everything, when Buck thought of Eddie, he felt strong, he felt right. He was where he was supposed to be.
When Buck snapped back to reality, Jo returned with the wet cloth from the bathroom and handed it to Buck. “There you go.”
Buck took the cloth from Jo, saying thanks shortly before dabbing it against Eddie's forehead, trying to cool down the heat a little.
“Do you need anything?” Jo was ready to give Buck anything she could. Buck was grateful to Jo.
“No, everything I need is right here, thank you.” turned to Eddie “This is going to help bring your fever down, okay?”
Eddie rolled the words around in his mouth. “You don’t need to tell me what you're doing, Buck, I’m not Jee Yun.”
Buck just chuckled nervously, stressing and trying to hide his unease. “Sorry.”
Eddie hummed again in response, “Yeah,” his eyes slowly opening once more. A subtle whine escaped his lips as the cool cloth touched his skin, but his body slowly relaxed as Buck continued to rub it against his forehead.
While Buck focused on Eddie, Jo looked around the room, as if searching for something to do.
“Uh, hey Buck, sorry I didn’t ask, do you want anything? I can make us a coffee or something.”
Buck glanced at Jo, pausing his movements with the cloth on Eddie's forehead. Eddie now had his eyes closed—whether he was asleep or awake was hard to tell.
“Sure, I’ll probably be here for a while anyway.”
“You’re a good friend, Buck.” Jo patted Buck’s shoulder as she walked to the kitchen. Buck chuckled a little.
A friend.
While Buck’s hands moved gently over his ‘friend’ he thought about why he was here. Why had he left dinner with Maddie and Chim to come to Eddie? The answer was simple. Maddie and Chim were together. They didn’t need Buck, but Eddie did. Chris wasn’t here. Like him, Eddie was alone too. So why was Buck needed? More importantly, why did Eddie always come first for him? Why was Buck always the one called when it came to Eddie? Why was it that when Buck thought about the things that made him happy, Eddie was the first to come to mind? Or why, when he was unhappy, did he always find himself at Eddie’s door? Why were they always together?
Together.
Jo came back into the living room with two cups of coffee in her hands, one for Buck and one for herself. She placed the cups on the table and sat down next to them.
“How’s he?”
Buck picked up the thermometer from the table and carefully placed it under Eddie’s arm. Now seated at the edge of the couch where Eddie lay, he reached out to place his hand on Eddie’s forehead again.
“Hot.”
Jo smirked and teased, “I can see that.” Buck let out a small chuckle in response.
“And how are you?”
“Me? Why?”
“Why? Is that what you always say when someone asks how you are?” Jo mimicked Buck’s surprised expression mockingly. “Hi, I'm Buck. When people ask me how I'm doing, I get suspicious because it doesn't matter how I feel.”
Buck shifted uncomfortably in his seat, clearly uneasy with being seen so clearly. “That’s not what I meant.” And, as if realizing her impression wasn’t accurate, he added, “Also, I don’t talk like that.”
Jo smiled to herself, amused. “Yeah, okay. So?”
“So what?”
“So, how are you?”
"Fine—" Buck hesitated for a moment, looking a little confused. "Hey, why’re you so obsessed with how I feel?"
Jo picked up her coffee cup again. "I’m not obsessed. I was just curious about how you’re doing."
Buck, unconvinced, kept digging. "What do you want to hear?" As if trying to distract himself, he picked up his cup from the table and took a few sips of his coffee.
"Nothing, really. I guess I just expect you to say you’re fine— like any normal friend would."
Buck put his coffee back on the table and picked up the beeping thermometer from under Eddie’s arm. Concern spread across his face.
"It’s high." His fever had exceeded 38°C.
Buck grabbed the wet cloth again and gently ran it across Eddie’s face.
"Maybe he’s wearing too much?"
"It’s just a thin shirt, calm down" Jo replied, glancing at her watch. "You need to wait a bit longer before giving him more meds."
"I know, but I don’t want to just sit here waiting" Buck said, his voice tense. "I’m worried about him."
Jo suggested, "Should we take him to the hospital?" Eddie must have heard her because he cracked his eyes open.
"No, no, it’s fine," he mumbled and clung to the pillow at the edge of the couch, trying to keep warm, but Buck gently pulled it away and leaned closer to Eddie’s face.
"Hey, Eddie, can you hear me?"
Eddie whispered, "Give the pillow back. I’m cold."
"No, you shouldn’t be holding onto anything right now, man"
Eddie’s arms moved, searching for something to cling to.
For a fleeting second, Buck thought, “I wish he’d hold onto me.” He imagined them lying together in bed, close and warm. Just for a moment.
When he drifted away from reality, he loved the fantasy he envisioned. Eddie's warm touch... He imagined Eddie's hands cradling his face, moving over his body. Buck quickly snapped back to reality, focusing on what needed his attention now. Eddie looked even sicker, his face flushed from the fever, his hair sticking to his damp forehead.
“We should try to give him a cold shower. Try to lower his body temperature a little.”
Jo nodded in agreement. Buck let out a deep breath as he stood up, placing the damp cloth on the coffee table. He moved with the determination of someone preparing for a marathon, worry consuming him with every step.
"Eddie, we're going to get you up now, okay? We're going to take you to the bathroom."
Buck slipped his arm around Eddie’s waist, helping him up as Eddie’s arms draped around Buck’s shoulders. Eddie rested his head on Buck’s shoulder, and Buck felt the heat radiating from his feverish body against his own.
Suddenly, a wave of emotions overwhelmed Buck. It felt like something was meant to happen between them at that exact moment. He swallowed hard, trying to fight back tears, and turned to Jo.
“Jo, can you go ahead and turn the water on?”
Jo nodded without saying a word, sensing the unspoken tension and not wanting to interrupt. As she left, Buck adjusted his hold on Eddie, whose weight leaned heavily against him. Eddie felt fragile, like he was barely holding himself up.
Buck gently touched Eddie’s flushed face. “Look at me.”
Eddie struggled to lift his head toward Buck’s voice, his movements slow and unsteady. Buck gave him an encouraging nod.
“It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here. Just wrap your arms around me and leave the rest to me, alright?”
Buck fought to suppress the torrent of emotions coursing through him. Not now, not here. He sniffed quietly and began guiding Eddie toward the bathroom. As Buck helped Eddie along, Eddie murmured faintly. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is. I promise.”
A tear Buck couldn’t stop fell onto Eddie’s feverishly flushed cheek. He didn’t even know why he was crying. Eddie had been right when he said, “People get sick.” They had faced worse things, so why did Buck feel this way now? Was it because he couldn’t fix the sadness and helplessness Eddie was feeling? Maybe Buck just couldn’t accept the thought of losing Eddie. Having to carry him from one place to another meant Eddie couldn’t stand on his own, and facing that thought was eating him up inside.
Buck remembered the moments when he had to carry Eddie, or drag him, whether it was when Eddie was on the verge of death in the middle of the street or when he had destroyed everything in his room. Those were the moments when Buck had always told Eddie everything would be okay.
Jo had opened the bathroom door for Buck and Eddie. Buck’s arms were tightly holding onto Eddie’s trembling body. He gently placed Eddie on the floor, leaning him against the bathtub while still supporting his upper body to keep him from falling.
“Wow, I didn’t think you could carry him from the living room all the way here by yourself.”
“It’s not my first rodeo.”
Jo looked like she was about to ask something, but Buck was focused only on getting Eddie’s fever down.
“Don’t ask.”
“Okay.”
“Can you turn the water on? I want it cold but not too cold where it'll shock his body.”
“Okay, I’ve already adjusted the temperature, I know that much. You just take off his shirt.”
Buck hesitated for a moment, a slight redness on his cheeks, but quickly shook his head and nodded. “Right... Yeah.”
Buck focused on Eddie’s shirt, tugging gently on the edges and starting to pull it off, his hands brushing against Eddie’s skin as he did so.
Buck never imagined he’d have a day where he’d be taking his ‘friend’s’ clothes off in a dimly lit bathroom. Sure, he’d seen Eddie shirtless before, but not like this. At least he hadn’t been the one to undress him. And Eddie’s body definitely wasn’t this hot.
After a moment, Buck finally got Eddie's shirt off, revealing his skin. Buck's hands lingered on Eddie's body for a moment, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. He swallowed and shook his head, focusing on the task at hand and not the way his heart was racing at seeing Eddie like this. He held Eddie’s body tightly so he wouldn’t fall.
Jo watched Buck’s expressions so closely while he took off Eddie’s shirt, and anyone who saw it would have thought Buck had feelings for him. But Jo just thought, “Oh, now that is his first rodeo.”
Buck gently placed Eddie in the bathtub, the cold water making contact with his scorching skin. Eddie let out a gasp at the sudden coldness, his body twitching slightly as he jolted awake.
“S-shit Eddie! Sorry… It’s just cold water, you're okay…”
Buck quickly apologized to Eddie, noticing how he jolted awake. He steadied Eddie’s body, making sure he didn’t accidentally slip or fall out of the tub.
“It’s fucking cold!”
“It’s supposed to, just hang on.”
Buck kept a firm grip on Eddie’s body, trying to keep him from struggling against the unexpected chill of the water. Eddie’s shaking increased, his body shivering as the cold water surrounded him. Buck glanced at Jo, giving her a nod to signal that she could turn off the water.
Jo turned off the water and handed Buck a towel large enough to manage. Buck grabbed Eddie, almost as if he were carrying a sack.
Jo offered her bed. “Okay, take him to my room.”
Buck continued to hold onto Eddie as he carefully moved him to the bedroom. His body was still shaking, feeling the cold water dripping down his skin. Buck's arms were tightly wrapped around Eddie, trying to comfort and steady him as much as possible, his eyes filled with concern.
Buck laid Eddie down onto the bed, making sure he was as comfortable as he could be. He quickly started to dry off Eddie’s body, gently wiping away the excess water and trying to ease the shivers that were coursing through him.
Jo pulled out an oversized Marvel-logo t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants from her closet. She and Buck exchanged a look.
“What? It’ll work.”
“Uh, I guess it will. Thanks, Jo.”
He gently shifted Eddie's body and began putting the shirt on him. Eddie’s arms were limp, making no attempt to assist with putting the shirt on.
“Do you want me to help?” Jo asked.
“Just hold his head and we’re good.”
Jo and Buck struggled to get the shirt on Eddie. Buck continued, pulling the shirt over his head and down his torso before gently laying him back on the bed.
As Buck started to take off Eddie's pants, Jo said, “You should have done this earlier.”
Buck was momentarily unsure of what she meant. It felt like every sentence was coming at him, but Jo had meant it exactly the way Buck understood.
“What?”
“I mean, before the shower. It would have been easier.” Nice save Jo.
“Oh, I didn’t think clearly at that moment.”
Buck gave a nervous smile, looking first at Jo, then at Eddie. Buck was now touching Eddie’s legs, finding it difficult to dress him in the clothes Jo had given him. Both physically and emotionally. His hands trembled slightly, but he tried to steady himself by focusing on his breathing.
For a moment, Buck found himself out of breath. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
Jo shook her head. “Who knew, he’s just a little guy.”
Buck could never tell when Jo was joking or being serious. Maybe that’s why she got along so well with Eddie. Buck was too honest for subtle remarks or insinuations. And honestly, he preferred things that were clearly said, as it saved him the trouble of misunderstanding.
They turned back to Eddie. Buck looked down at him, his expression filled with worry. He continued to keep his hand on Eddie's forehead, gently rubbing his thumb across his skin.
“Hey man…” Buck spoke softly, trying to get Eddie’s attention. Eddie’s eyes slowly started to flutter open, but he was clearly half-asleep, dazed from the fever. He let out a soft groan, the sound barely intelligible.
“It's okay, I'm right here. Just get some rest, okay?”
Eddie nodded and Buck kept his hand on Eddie’s forehead, continuing to assess the heat radiating from his skin.
Buck watched as Eddie closed his eyes again, his breathing becoming more steady as he drifted back into a light doze. Buck continued to sit on the edge of the bed, his hand still placed on Eddie’s forehead, monitoring his temperature and the rise and fall of his chest.
“Should we let him sleep?” Jo asked. She had left all the decisions to Buck.
Buck hesitated for a moment, his eyes not leaving Eddie’s sleeping figure, before responding. “Yeah… Let’s just let him sleep for now, and see how he is in a while. And I’m gonna check on him like—” Buck looked at his watch. “Half an hour.”
He sat there for a few more moments, silently watching over him with a look of protectiveness. Jo was looking at Buck. He could sense her gaze, and after a moment, he looked up, meeting her eyes. There was a moment of heavy silence as he held her gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of exhausted concern and uncertainty.
Finally, Jo spoke, breaking the silence. “Marvel looked good on him.”
“Yeah, he likes those movies, you know— he watches them with Chris.”
“Oh.”
Jo had never met Chris. When she met Eddie, Chris was long gone, and Jo knew better than to bring it up, so she kept quiet. Don’t ask, don’t say anything.
“Yeah.”
“So, do you think he's gonna be okay?”
Buck might not always understand the meaning of every sentence, but he knew this, and he nodded. He had faith in everything but especially Eddie.
“Yes, he’ll be.”
Buck sighed softly, placing his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. It’s a small gesture, but there’s an underlying tenderness in his touch, as if he’s trying to soothe and comfort both Eddie and himself at the same time.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Buck asked, knowing the meaning of the question, but still asking with a shy expression, wanting to hear it from Jo again.
“Are you gonna be okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just—”
Buck paused for a moment. It seemed like he wanted to talk more, suddenly waving his hands in the air and speaking passionately.
“It’s just... I’m worried about him. S-sometimes I want to tell him he can’t be so hard on himself, that you can’t always be strong for everyone, you can’t take care of everyone, you know?
Jo looked at Buck with a raised eyebrow, her expression questioning.
“This sounds familiar.”
Buck lowered his head and gave a shy smile in response. “Uh... This is not about me.”
Jo sighed. “Don’t separate yourself so much, you’re here right now. Actually—” Jo smiled and looked at Eddie lying in her bed. “This might even be about me.”
Buck suddenly felt the need to explain. “Yeah, about that— thanks again.”
Jo immediately got excited, as if she had caught a detail. “See? You’re speaking for him because you know what he’d say if he spoke. Once you embrace something that much, you can’t just say it’s not about me.”
Buck suddenly got lost in his thoughts. “Embrace”
“I just want to be there for him.”
Jo placed her hand on Buck’s shoulder.
“You’re already there for him, and he’s lucky to have you.”
“Do you think so?”
Jo sighed patiently again. “I wish I could lock them in a room and have them face their feelings.”
Jo smiled as she took Buck’s hand and lifted him from the bed. “Come on, we have cookies to eat.” Jo looked at Eddie "I should save some cookies for him too, he could literally kill someone for those.”
Buck looked up at Jo, a small grateful smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Jo’s words and gestures of comfort gave him a sense of reassurance, and he took a deep breath, steadying himself before nodding.
Before leaving, Buck placed his hand on Eddie’s forehead once more. “He looks good huh?”
Eddie really did look better now. The redness on his cheeks had faded a bit, and his shivering had lessened.
Buck again mentally listed the things he still needed to do. “I’ll come back in half an hour and give him the medicine again.”
Buck paused for a moment, giving one last glance at Eddie before heading out with Jo.
As Buck and Jo left the room, Eddie stirred a little in bed, took a deep breath, and mumbled Buck's name.