Work Text:
“And that’s the last of them…”
Touko was able to take a sigh of relief after handing the last of her freshly made treats to the dorm girls. This was a busy day–there’s been more and more customers lately, Touko could have never seen all of this coming!–but it was worth it. The smiles on everyone’s faces coupled with the immense satisfaction of knowing they’ll enjoy something amazing made Touko feel good inside. She cleaned up her kitchen, put down the apron, and fell to her bed to relax and take it easy.
“Well, this was a successful day at least,” Touko thought to herself. “It’s nice to have so many folks coming to enjoy delicious cooking, makes my world go round!”
The thought allowed herself to smile, as Touko simply closed her eyes, put her hands on the back of her head against the pillow, and pictured all the fellow dorm girls enjoying her treats, sharing a laugh and a treat with one another. She could already see Tougeguchi and Minoru passing snacks around with each other, Nawashiro and Washio putting each others’ snacks in each other’s mouths (they sure love each other a lot), Togano and Hebimori playing music for each other while eating…
“Man, it sure feels great to be surrounded by so many amazing girls,” Touko said to herself. “All of them friendly, welcoming, amazing…” She sighed happily. “The kind of people I want to be around.”
But somehow, Touko felt heavy in her heart.
“The kind of people I want to be around…” she repeated again. “The kind of people I want to be around…”
She couldn’t help but feel sad.
“The kind of people I needed.”
The image that projects in her mind is vivid, detailed. It’s as though she’s living it all over again.
“Wait, Rumi,” Touko exclaimed. “Stop, go back; what do you mean-”
“You’re following him around, aren’t you?” that girl named Rumi said. “Don’t play dumb with me.”
“Where did you get that idea?” Touko said, confused. “How do you even know-”
“Can you stop acting like a damn idiot for five minutes?” Rumi shouted, her control harsh and heavy. “Or is even that too hard for you, you weirdo son of a bit-”
“Just tell me!” Touko shouted, her voice hurt and full of sorrow. “What is going on?! Why are you all just…why are you all avoiding me like that!?”
Rumi stared at Touko with a face that screamed disgust and unflattering disapproval of Touko and everything she stood for as a person. “You really are hopeless…” Rumi said, sighing. “Let me give it to you straight, but I warn you, I am not going to sugarcoat it.” She pushed Touko to a wall and proceeded to do her worst. “You’re a damn stalker, aren’t you? Following Matsuya around like that, are you a psychopath or something? What are you trying to do to him, pull his pants down? You should back the hell off from him, he’s not yours and he’s never going to love you, you bunny-ear washup!”
But Touko was unable to respond, not while she was in tears from whatever all this means, and she knew better, but Rumi seemingly did not want to see reason. “What are you talking about?!” Touko exclaimed through tears. “I don’t even understand what any of that means! Matsuya and I are happy together already…!”
“Sure about that, psycho?” Rumi said, her voice now drenched in malice and hate. “I talked to Matsuya, he told me himself: he doesn’t like you, dumbass.” Rumi knew that wasn’t true and everything she’s saying was a lie, but this girl needed to know her place and Rumi needed to set her straight. “You’re a damn stalker, I’ve seen you when you thought you were alone. You’re not his girlfriend, or girlfriend material at all, you’re vermin! A parasite! You leech on others and consume them whole like a maneater! Well, guess what, “ bunny,” you can screw yourself out of existence forever!”
Touko had no fight left in her, if any at all. She was reduced to a sobbing mess as Rumi grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her against the wall just for good measure. After that, Touko simply fell to her knees and cried nonstop, her “friends” that abandoned her watching in cruel amusement and laughing, apparently the sight of this poor girl sobbing is good comedy to them.
“Why…” Touko tried to say. “Why are you like this…?”
Rumi simply smirked. “Not gonna elaborate, forehead,” she simply and cruelly said. “But if you don’t like it here, you’re more than welcome to leave. Tokyo’s too small for bunnies like you, dumbass.”
Touko tried to get up, only to be slapped back down.
“What’s the matter, bunny?” Rumi said to the laughter of the “friend” group. “Gonna cry some more? Where’s that great Touko Usagihara I knew, the one that hops in full force? Where is she, where is she now, huh?!”
Touko could not respond. All she could do was just…sob in silence.
“I’ll take my leave then,” Rumi said. She put her foot on Touko’s back and spoke directly to her ear. “Feel free to think about your life choices and fix up later, but remember this: it’s all just a joke, sis. Kinda like your own life.”
And at the drop of that comment, Rumi and her friends left Touko to herself.
Touko would finally get up only hours after that encounter.
Touko couldn’t think straight or feel much at all that night.
Too many tears were shed that day, and too much more was shed that very night. She had locked the room, closed every window, and wouldn't come down for anything. Her family knew that Touko had been hurt, but they never would have imagined it was so bad that Touko just wanted to shut herself away from the world. The world no longer existed to her, just this room and Touko herself.
Touko felt like she wanted to die. But instead…she curled up in her bed and just cried.
She would cry for hours on end again.
“Will I be safe at prep school?”
Touko was scared about what she was now getting into, but her family was confident that it would help her. “You will,” Touko’s dad said. “You won’t have to deal with your normal school classmates at prep school.”
Touko’s mom nodded. “And kids at prep schools are more often kind and take their work seriously. You’ll love them.”
Touko was still scared. “Can I come back to you if it doesn’t work out?”
Touko’s mom could see the fear in her daughter’s eyes and opened her arms around Touko to give her a warm and loving hug. “Touko, you can always come back if things don’t work out.”
Touko let out some tears as she hugged her mom but was able to clear up quickly thanks to the hug. “Thank you, mom…”
Touko’s dad gave his daughter a pat on the head. “You will be okay. And we’ll always have your back through the highs and the lows.”
Touko quickly descended back to sobbing as she hugged her parents. If they say things will be okay, it must be true. In any case, Touko was just glad to have her family more than ever.
“Thank you…mom…dad…”
Prep school was certainly better than regular school–and especially that school Tokyo went to–but something else was bothering Touko now.
Don’t get her wrong, prep school is a lot of fun so far, from the kinder girls she got to meet and play with, to all the different and varying activities her class gets to do, to just…well, being away from that mess of a school that was her regular school. Touko knew it and her family knew it: this is perfect for her. She should be happy with this, it’s been a few months already since Touko got placed in this prep school, and by now she’s having more fun than before.
But as Touko got to think to herself that one night, all she could feel was just…sadness. Loneliness. Alienation.
Like she had no place here.
As Touko tried to sleep that night, all her dreams showed her…was all that she lost.
She could see Matsuya–her ex-boyfriend, they broke up after Touko left regular school–at the same wall she was “put in her place” at, facing a Rumi that clearly was acting attractive and alluring, but to Touko and Touko alone her voice had the same hate and malice she had that fateful day. Everyone else could hear a Rumi that was so pretty and wanted, but to Touko, all she heard was a demon.
As Touko found herself watching the scene, ‘Rumi’s’ head snapped towards her like a piece of stop-motion and grew angry.
“Still crying over him?” the dream Rumi said. “You know, if you had just kept your stupid mouth shut over a goddamned joke, this could’ve been you.”
Touko simply stood silent.
‘Matsuya’ was absolutely not acting like himself–not that it matters, Touko hadn’t seen him again ever since the break-up–but it still hurt Touko to see him this way. He was falling entirely for ‘Rumi’s’ deceitful allure, none the wiser to what she’s truly like in reality. His hands were all over ‘Rumi,’ and ‘Rumi’ simply laughed at Touko’s face, as though she thought this is what Touko wanted.
It wasn’t.
As Touko tried to walk away, she was forced back to the scene by a legion of Rumis, all dressed much like Touko’s “friends” from that fateful day. They all laughed and pointed as they forced her to watch ‘Rumi’ and ‘Matsuya’s’ little show.
“Trying to run away?” so said ‘Matsuya.’ “But I thought you loved me, Touko…”
“BREAKING NEWS!” ‘Rumi’ sarcastically began. “Touko doesn’t love Matsuya, and in other news, the floor is made of floor!” She laughed and spitted in front of Touko, the latter being completely unable to stop her or evade it.
As Touko cried again, ‘Rumi’ eyed her “friend.” “Oh, what’s that now, Hawaiian noises, you yo-yo? Your tears could ensure the entirety of Tokyo never goes dehydrated! Maybe you’re not entirely worthless after all…such a shame you’re on such a low scale, bunny.”
The Rumis all shoved Touko to the ground again as ‘Matsuya’ and ‘Rumi’ went at it with their little show, and all the laughter of that fateful day came again as it went on, getting louder and louder and louder and…
“Hop away, bunny!” ‘Rumi’ said. “Nobody in this city is going to miss you when you’re gone, you damn freak!”
When the dream finally ended, that night would be one of the worst Touko ever lived.
“Roubai Academy…?”
Touko saw on the bulletin board at prep school what seemed like escape. The school on that paper looked so…different. It wasn’t like her old school or even her prep school.
It wasn’t even located in Tokyo.
“Amatsumikomi…?” Touko said, slowly, studying that new region’s name. “That doesn’t seem like a Tokyo place…is it?”
It seemed like Touko was staring for too long, for one of the instructors then found her there and decided to check on her. “Not in Tokyo at all,” the instructor said. “Up in the countryside.”
Touko was intrigued. “Countryside…?”
The instructor nodded. “Indeed, the countryside. Very beautiful place, Amatsumikomi is. I’ve been there a few times. The natural landscape is beautiful and there’s an entire cherry blossom forest you could spend hours in.”
Touko was awed. “Tell me more!”
The instructor was amused. “No problemo, kiddo! Now, Amatsumikomi’s a bit of a ride from here, and it’s far from civilization, so don’t expect many delicacies to be in easy access like here in Tokyo. That said, I’d say it’s worth a visit. You’ll feel at peace with yourself and it’s a beautiful place to live. I lived there myself in my own youth.”
The instructor could feel stars in Touko’s eyes. “Tell me more! Tell me more!” she enthusiastically exclaimed.
The instructor giggled. “Sure! Now, see that school in the picture?” She pointed to the school in the poster. “Roubai Academy is one of the country’s most prestigious all-girls academies, heck, dare I say one of the best in the world! The place is like a castle, there’s all kinds of amazing folk who go and were from there, it’s in the countryside, and the quality is just…” She did a chef’s kiss. “Sublime.”
Touko was pretty much amazed. “I want to go there!”
The instructor gave a head pat to Touko. “I’m glad you do! I think you’ll love it there.” She then frowned. “Just…getting in is like slaying a dragon. You have to push yourself and give it your all to achieve the impossible dream. You’re going to have to walk through the darkness to reach the light.”
Touko looked scared. “Will I make it…?”
The instructor ruffled Touko’s hair and faced her in the eyes. “You will, if you work hard and make a lasting impression.”
Touko looked at the poster once more. With all that in mind, that dream of escape and beginning again feels so far away…it’s like she’ll never find a place to belong. But on the other hand, it’s not like there’s any other option. If Touko wants to belong somewhere, to someone, it was time to walk through the darkness to reach the light. And so, she made up her mind right then and there.
“I will,” the young Touko finally said.
“Will…?” the instructor said.
“I will work my hardest to get there! I want to go to Roubai Academy!”
The instructor was surprised by the loud and absolute declaration but then smiled. Whatever it would take, she would help this girl reach the unreachable star.
She would help Touko reach that impossible dream.
It took a lot of studying, lots of crying, lots of trial and error, and lots of hoping for the best and pushing herself far, but she’d do it. Touko would get there to Roubai Academy, away from Tokyo, and finally have a chance to start over and be someone.
Away from Tokyo, away from that old, painful life, and other than her first attempt at a lasting impression at the dorms ending disastrously, Touko had since adapted to Roubai quite well. She was full of life again, she was the Mangetsu Dormitory’s star chef and had plenty of friends to call her own, friends that love her a lot and got along well with her, even if they sometimes become much too easy to tease.
One girl in particular made Touko’s days over and over.
The girl in the sailor uniform, Komichi Akebi.
How they met is quite a story. As Touko would find out from Erika, Komichi arrived early to school only to find Erika there first. Whatever wacky stuff they did as the first students to class was irrelevant, for they were already quite close. As for Touko herself, she’d meet Komichi during self-introductions, and especially as Komichi did that little flip that had her skirt floating just enough for everyone to see what was behind it.
But that in itself didn’t matter much, for Komichi was quite fun and great to hang around with, especially when she fell twice for Touko’s little antics during lunch. It was amusing, but it also let Touko bond with Komichi, and in that moment, she realized this was the happiest she had ever been.
Then Komichi stopped by the dorms, and with Kei in tow as well. While they were there so that Komichi’s sailor uniform could be washed (and Touko only had herself to blame for that), it also ended up being there where somehow that happiness Touko felt already on the first day of school was topped. From dressing up Komichi in that cute dress from the magazine to sharing treats with her and even watching her try to cook treats of her own (albeit very terribly), Touko realized she never had as much fun as she did that day, sharing that time with Komichi and Kei…and realizing Komichi isn’t that perfect do-everything girl Touko first thought she was.
“If I were you, I would’ve gone to Tokyo instead,” Touko remembered saying that day.
At that point, she thought Komichi was too good for her, too good to be here.
But then she knew…there was someone like her. Someone else who is just as imperfect, but that’s okay. Someone Touko could belong with.
Touko could feel at peace with herself.
Touko finally felt at peace with herself.
But sometimes, that old, malicious voice of way back when still haunts her.
And at long last, the vision left Touko’s head as she opened her eyes again to the now.
Though the look back ended at the positive memories, just remembering what she had been through at Tokyo made Touko cry once more.
“Where…where have you all been my whole life…?” Touko said to herself. She thought about her newfound friends here at Roubai, and all they’ve been through together in just these past few months of the year alone. The athletics festival was awesome-personified, but there was much more to come in the future, and Touko was all too ready for it, but it was times like this where Touko realized just how good she has it now, versus…back then.
As Touko let herself sob into her pillow for awhile, her phone made a ding noise, and she quickly checked it, even as tears continued to stream down her. The notification she saw filled her with both overwhelming joy and overwhelming sadness.
“Usagihara!” the message from one Akebi read. “How are you!”
Though the tears didn’t stop, Touko was able to pull it together to be able to open her messages and respond. “Doing okay, I guess”, she responded.
Not even a quarter of a minute after that message was sent, another was received. “That’s great!” Akebi sent. “Was just checking in on my friends!”
“Thanks,” Touko responded.
“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” Akebi sent.
“Me too” Touko sent.
Then she quickly followed up.
“Hey by the way, can we talk?”
“Sure, what’s up?” Akebi sent.
“Do you think you can come over to the dorms?” Touko sent.
“Absolutely!” Akebi sent none the wiser. “I’m coming over right now! See ya soon!”
Touko was about to respond, but the sudden follow up shut her down. She simply put her phone down and laid down on her bed again. So far, it seems like Neko hadn’t heard anything, but given she can snore like a rock, it was more or less a given. In any case, Touko simply stared up at the planks of the bunk bed and let her tears run their course.
Dressed in her sailor uniform as ever, Komichi showed up to the Mangetsu Dorm and wasted not a single second finding Touko’s dorm.
“Usagihara!” Komichi exclaimed. “I’m here!”
Touko heard that familiar voice and got up from her bed, the tears having been gone but the sadness in her still standing. Nonetheless, she tried her best to smile. “Hey Akebi!” Touko began. “I’m sorry if I’m taking your time away from you, but…” She looked flustered. “I kinda just wanted to spend time with you.”
Komichi got excited. “That’s fine by me! To be honest…” she began, “I wanted to spend some time with you too.”
Touko looked at Komichi and her infectious smile, and allowed herself to giggle. “Well, looks like I picked the right time, huh?” She went to sit down at the little table next to the bed, Komichi following suit and sitting next to Touko.
“How’s your day been?” Touko began with small talk.
Komichi was immediately excited. “It was great! Hebimori played her guitar again for me, I went to go observe insects with Minoru, Erika and I were cloudwatching together…”
Touko giggled. “And you didn’t bother inviting me? Meanie.”
Komichi actually felt bad. “I’m so sorry Usagihara! Remind me next time and I’ll bring you along too!”
“Nah, I’m just kidding!” Touko teased. “Still, glad you’re having fun!”
Komichi smiled. “And how about you, Usagihara?”
“Well, the usual, just hanging around here, making treats for everyone, occasionally practicing baseball stuff…” Touko answered.
“Can I have a treat?” Komichi said, smiling.
Touko laughed. “Sorry Akebi, the shop’s closed for the day! Come back tomorrow, will you?”
Komichi pouted but quickly giggled. “Okay! I’ll be sure to buy your entire stock of treats!”
Touko laughed again. “I’d like to see you try!”
The two girls laughed together over their little teases and pokes before they fell to silence. Touko looked up to the window while Komichi simply watched her friend, wondering what she’s thinking.
“Isn’t the sky beautiful right now?” Komichi began, breaking the silence.
Touko was caught off-guard. “Oh, yeah, it is!” she said, awkwardly. “The sunset looks wonderful, and the orange tone of the sky too. Definitely a beautiful sight to see…”
But it appeared that her sadness was visible, because Komichi caught on. “Usagihara? You don’t sound so excited about it…”
Touko was flustered. “Oh, no, it’s nothing!” she quickly contrived. “I didn’t want to leave you hanging or anything…”
But the longer she got to see Komichi directly in the eyes, the more Touko’s inner sadness was seeable. Soon enough, Touko could feel tears coming down again. “ No…not now, not now!” she panickedly thought to herself.
“Usagihara…” Komichi said, amused. “Your hair looks really beautiful-”
“I’m fine!” Touko shouted out of nowhere, interrupting. She covered her face with her arms and stopped facing Komichi, too embarrassed to continue and that her weakness was being put on display like this. She wasn’t sure how to tell it to Komichi or if this sweet and fun moment should be ruined like this, but regardless, Touko couldn’t bear to continue the topic. Her heart was heavy, tears were coming down again, and worst of all, she’s dragging Komichi down with her. She was ready for the worst to happen.
But suddenly, Touko felt Komichi’s hand on her hair. “Akebi…” Touko said, muffled behind her arms. “What are you doing?”
“Feeling your hair,” Komichi answered, almost matter-of-factly. “This style looks really cute on you. Sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I had your hairstyle.”
Touko sniffled, and let her arms down slightly. “I’m…not sure what’s so special about it,” she began, “but thank you…”
Komichi saw the tears coming down Touko’s eyes. “Usagihara…” she began, shocked, “you’re…crying…”
There was no more hiding it. Touko let her arms down and Komichi got a full, clear look at the tears coming down Touko’s face, and the complete sadness that overwhelmed her friend. Seeing it, Komichi couldn’t help but feel sad too, her own heart heavy from seeing a cherished friend like Touko feeling so down, but before tears started coming down her own face, Komichi proceeded to throw her arms around Touko tightly.
“Akebi-!” Touko exclaimed. “Why are you crying…?!”
“Because you’re crying…” Komichi simply said.
Touko would’ve tried to resist, play it off as feeling under the weather, but seeing Komichi’s earnestness and love finally gave her the courage to speak up. “Yeah…I’m not feeling okay at all. I’m thinking too much about things, and-”
“I’m here,” Komichi responded simply. Her voice was caring, soothing, and loving. “Let it all out, Usagihara…I’m not going anywhere.”
For the first time in a long time, Touko would cry for hours on end once more.
And for the last time.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Komichi began. “I’m all ears for you, Usagihara.”
Touko nodded. “You remember when I said I’d have gone to Tokyo instead if I were you?”
“I do,” Komichi said. “What did you mean by that?”
Touko was flustered. “The truth is…I thought I’d never belong anywhere or to anyone. And I thought I would never be able to get along with someone like you.”
Komichi was shaken by that. “What does that mean…?”
“Like I said back then, you seemed like this perfect girl that could never do anything wrong. You felt too perfect for me, and I thought I’d never be able to have friends like you without having to change myself for the worse…”
Komichi put her arms around Touko once more. Though she was silent, it was clear she was listening. Touko continued. “I used to be friends with someone I thought was the perfect girl too. I thought I’d be able to fit in in a group like hers until I stepped out of what she considered was the line.” She was sad, but the tears were stopping as she continued. “After that, I was avoided, picked on, belittled…and it would ruin a relationship I had too.” Touko buried her face into her legs and put her arms around them as she spoke. “After that, I so badly wanted to leave Tokyo and start anew, get away from all those mean girls and be me. I got that wish coming to Roubai Academy, but even after meeting you and the rest of our class…I still had to relive a lot of those old painful memories…” She looked at Komichi at last. “All those antics I do, like teasing you and the others? It’s also so I can keep my mind off of that past, so I can live for the now; for this beautiful time we get to share together.”
Komichi was still hugging Touko, still silent. “Am I being too overbearing, Akebi?” Touko asked.
Komichi simply shook her head. “Not at all,” she began. “I’m glad that you told all this to me, actually!”
Touko was confused. “What do you mean by that…?”
Komichi felt Touko’s hair again. “It means I got to know and understand you better!” Komichi said, cheerfully.
Touko was still confused. “But wait, what about-”
“And it makes me love you even more!” Komichi responded. “Because despite everything…you’re here. And if you never came here…I would have never gotten to meet you! I can’t for the life of me imagine what my life here would be like if you weren’t in it, Usagihara!”
Touko was distraught, but it brought good feelings and warmth to her heart. There wasn’t any refuting that, her and Komichi’s fates were pretty much intertwined together thanks to sharing a classroom and school together. Touko then thought about what might’ve been had she never come to Roubai; besides no one washing Komichi’s sailor uniform, who would have dared Komichi to mimic Miki Fukumoto, her favorite idol? Who would’ve called upon the entire class to join Komichi and the others for volleyball practice the day before the athletics festival? Who would’ve helped Komichi through the after-party performance? Sure, it could be just about anyone, but the fact that it was Touko who did all of that, one of Komichi’s closest friends and Komichi’s friend at that…sure, it was a long and grueling journey to get here to Roubai Academy, but looking back, if Touko had a choice to live this life all over again…she would.
Because Komichi was here.
And so was she: Touko Usagihara. Komichi’s friend.
Akebi’s friend.
Instead of sobbing, Touko simply giggled, and then threw her arms around Komichi in return. “You know, Akebi…” Touko began, “to be honest, I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t in it either. I’m so happy to be here…”
Komichi smiled. “Usagihara…” she said softly.
“I’m so happy…” Touko began. She looked Komichi in the eyes and smiled. “That you’re here.”
The two girls shared a long and loving hug together as the evening sky slowly began to transition to night. Though the past won’t ever go away, Touko knew that she wouldn’t have to face the future alone, and that this lovable girl she gets to call her friend would and will be there with her.
That Komichi Akebi would and will be there for her, Touko Usagihara.
Her little bunny.
“I love you, Usagihara!” Komichi said cheerfully.
Touko could finally feel at peace herself.
And this time, for good.
“Akebi…I love you too,” Touko said.
Komichi was happy with the response. She then held Touko’s hand close to hers.
“And hey, Usagihara?” Komichi said. “No matter what comes next, you can always hold my hand.”
Touko giggled. “Aw, how kind of you, Akebi!” The familiar energy and giddiness of Touko usually was finally back as her sadness returned to its shadows.
Komichi giggled as well. “And no matter what…”
“I’ll always hold on forever.”