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In the midst of a lighthearted chitchat, a knock came on the door. It was New Year’s Eve, which Soojin suggested they spend it together as a group of friends. There were five of them, supposedly, unless Soyeon failed to count someone else.
“I’ll get it!” Miyeon cheered, too excitedly, and swung the door open like eternal salvation was awaiting on the other side.
“Hi,” Shuhua humbly greeted and, just like Soojin a few moments earlier, she yelped and stumbled over her feet when she’s pulled in a tight hug without even being given a chance to say anything else, or breathe for that matter. But, unlike Soojin, she started to scream.
“Unnie! Stop!” Shuhua winced.
“Why are there only two of you?” Soojin asked, “the three of you are practically joined at the hip. If one isn’t here, so is everyone else.”
Right. There were three of the other girls, which makes six, and Soyeon didn’t want to bring too much attention to one.
“Yuqi went to get some gas. We insisted she just comes with us, but she said it’s fine,” Minnie replied whilst she took off her sneakers.
Yuqi, who was always too cheerful even on a stormy day, and to whom Soyeon was being constantly pushed to by her friends. She only knew her because of the fact they were within the same circle, but there was never an actual bond established between them.
They didn’t have anything in common, and they barely met since they only ever interact when the stars happened to align, that is, at a group outing or something bigger like a party.
And most importantly, she knew she wasn’t into her that way. So why should she pay any attention — specifically, romantic attention, since she would have to talk to her inevitably when she gets dragged out into the world by her two friends — at all?
“Gas?”
Soyeon leaned against the kitchen counter and watched whatever Soojin was doing with her hands. The flour sticking to the egg-coated chicken breast was very, very entertaining at the moment. It was drawing her in with each toss and turn.
“Oh, she was somewhere else. She said she was busy with practice.”
The chicken breast was now moved to the plate with its other coated friends, waiting to be cooked. Another one danced its way towards the bowl for an egg bath — Soyeon chuckled.
“Practice?” Soojin followed.
Soyeon shook her head. She almost lost her focus on the smooth piece of chicken.
“Band practice. She became a signed guitarist recently.”
Soojin hummed in amusement from above her. Soyeon couldn’t care less about what they were talking about, since the chicken was speaking to her right now and whispering sweet nothings with each sway, but the idea of a guitarist was interesting…
“She’s pretty loud, she was like this, ” she accentuated her words by pretending to play a guitar, “whatever! I didn’t compliment her because her ego gets too inflated whenever I do.” Shuhua sighed and played with the snow globe from the coffee table.
Then Soyeon snapped out of her trance like she heard a signal word.
“I couldn’t agree more,” Soyeon mumbled, head rested on top of her palm and closed fingers.
“What?” Soojin raised a brow though her hands never left the chicken she was preparing.
“Nothing. I should go get changed.” Soyeon dismissed herself, pushing her torso up from the counter using her hands before making her way upstairs.
“Where’s she going?”
“Probably to get dolled up for someone, I don’t know.”
Soyeon sighed to herself whilst she walked up. The steps were putting a bit of strain on her legs — it was already hurting before, having to stand around the room and trying to ground a noisy housemate for hours on end — each raise of her knee burned, and dread eventually settled down on her shoulders.
Time was her tyrant. It was almost 7, it wasn’t time for dinner yet, and she wasn’t sure how she’s going to manage herself, specifically her social battery, until the end of the night. Despite this potential ordeal, she soothed herself: she didn’t have to talk to everyone throughout next 5 hours, she just had to stay around.
Additionally, she didn’t have to dress all posh for a dinner party with a few friends. So, there she found herself, clad in a holiday sweater her grandmother got her last week and a pair of denim shorts she picked out from the darkest pits of her closet.
Soyeon’s eyes widened a fraction, hand mildly sweating on the doorknob and feet lightly rubbing against the wooden floor, when she heard a few cheers from downstairs and chants of a familiar name. Abruptly, she made her way towards her vanity table again, and suddenly, her face looked too pale, her hair too messy, and the very little makeup she had on was way too less. She looked as if her soul was sucked right out of her body — she couldn’t look like this! Gosh, when did she stop taking care of herself?
A part of her didn’t want to go all out on her makeup, or even retouch it, after what Soojin said. Getting dolled up for someone… no! She bit her tongue. She wasn’t doing this for someone, it was more like for herself. It’d be rude if she showed up barely prepared and made up right? It was Soojin’s choice — fault — whether she wanted to give her actions any meaning or not.
Nonetheless, Soyeon sucked it in and went on to try and make herself look as pretty, though with her stoic persona still present, as possible. Surely her friends could wait.
“Soyeon?” A voice called out from outside before the door opened, soft creaks filling the air, “oh, there you are. What’s taking you so long to change shirts?”
“I’m trying to do my makeup,” Soyeon mumbled as she stood still like rock, putting every ounce of concentration in doing her eyeliner. This would only take about five minutes, she hoped.
“You look fine as is,” Miyeon said sweetly and placed a hand on the side of Soyeon’s arm as she watched.
“I just want to look nice. Hey, speaking of, does it look okay?” Soyeon asked after she finished curling her lashes, perking back up to give Miyeon a full view of her now fixed makeup. She swallowed, somewhat afraid of something she wasn’t even aware of.
“Mm, yeah! I like it.” Miyeon smiled.
“How about my lashes?”
“They’re pretty!” she cheered.
“My brows?”
“Great as always.”
“My lips?”
“Mmhm,” Miyeon halfheartedly hummed.
Soyeon stirred. She took note of how the enthusiasm in Miyeon’s replies gradually faltered. She had her reasons why she’s asking so much, and she really couldn’t help it. She wanted to look perfect — if this she had to end this year feeling mildly stressed, she would have to do it with style.
“How about my blush? Is it too much? Do I have blush blindness or something? Do I look too red?
“Soyeon,” Miyeon sighed exasperatedly, “you look fine. It’s just us six, you don’t have to worry about anything at all.”
“I told you, I just wanted to look nice.”
Miyeon nodded in understanding, all compassionate, but the mischievous smirk that follows her gesture was contradicting. It clouded Soyeon’s head with confusion; did she say something wrong?
“Are you doing this for someone?” Miyeon suggested and took Soyeon’s hand into her hold.
“What? No! Why does everybody say that!” She screeched and snatched her hand back, but all it did was send a sly pout to Miyeon’s face.
“ Sure . Don’t worry, you two look good together!”
“Two? What do you mean by two? There’s only one of me.” Soyeon crossed her arms, one hand rubbing the side of the other, as she nibbled on her bottom lip.
“Oh, you and little miss guitarist, of course.”
“Well, t-that’s what you think,” Soyeon grumped. She’d say she didn’t like hearing such a thing, but redness on her face that overrode her artificial blush would state otherwise. She placed her hands down to her hips and turned her face away from the devil in the room.
“Look at you getting all shy,” Miyeon cooed. She was sweet and pure, and her voice would calm her any other day. Not so much when she was using it to torment Soyeon with obscene ideas unprovoked. For one fact, though, she knew she wasn’t going to stay like this forever.
“I thought you didn’t like her,” Soyeon defensively barked, fully facing Miyeon now, and jutted her chin out. Ah, she also knew that no matter how scary she wanted to seem, she had no out of it when she was a few centimeters short behind Miyeon that she always brought up whenever she got to.
“I don’t because she kind of gets on my nerves whenever we talk, though I do think you guys look cute together. She’s annoying, yes, but I also noticed she’s the only one who somehow gets you… you know, all sparkly and happy, in a way?” Miyeon pondered.
Okay, maybe she was going to stay like this forever.
“I don’t know where you got sparkly and happy from, but sure.”
“I’m not dumb,” Miyeon deadpanned, “I always know how someone feels about something, or someone.”
“Are you sure it’s not just you forcing it on other people?” Soyeon rebutted, head titled to one side as though trying to look calm and reserved about this conversation despite how she technically already made a fool of herself.
“Mm, if I was forcing it, you wouldn’t be this defensive,” she teased, poking Soyeon’s sternum with her index finger.
“Forget it!” Soyeon raised both her hands in defeat and made her way out of the room, with Miyeon trailing behind her chuckling and rejoicing. As they went downstairs, though, her best friend wasn’t done yet.
“Hey, I was just kidding,” Miyeon whispered, “who you’re into is really none of my business, but I’ll support you nonetheless,” she gently reminded her.
Shuhua pointed out how Soyeon finally arrived ‘after an eternity’, and said something about celebrating her presence, something like greeting her a happy new year even though they’ve already met just a few moments ago, but her world started to spin around the first person her eyes landed on.
She had short, blonde hair, but it seemed longer than the last time they saw each other. Her bangs slightly obscured her line of vision, but she never looked away. Her eyes were upturned, and her brows were raised in glee. The corners of her lips were slightly curved, and the creases near each side of her nose became more apparent as time passed by. She was also a little sweaty, but it wasn’t all too gross, and her breathing came in moderate intervals.
Soyeon blinked.
“So, do you like her?” Miyeon whispered into her ear. Thankfully, she still had some sense knocked into her that she was close enough for only them to hear whatever she was going to say.
“None of your business,” Soyeon replied, never breaking eye contact with the blonde, and Miyeon pursed her lips, trying to stop huffs of air erupting from her throat when she held in a laugh.
“I’ll leave you two then,” Miyeon mumbled before she called to everyone else in the room, “since everyone is finally here, let’s have some dinner! I’ll put on some karaoke after we finish eating.”
Once four of them gathered in the dining hall, both girls making way by gravitating towards the small end of the living room near the big windows, Soyeon’s the first one to speak.
“So,” she started and cleared her throat, “Happy New Year?”
“Happy New Year,” Yuqi reciprocated and finished with a smile.
“I like your shirt.” Soyeon fiddled with her fingers before she ultimately placed her arms behind her back. Her head was down, though, and all she could see was their feet on the floor. It was actually embarrassing — Yuqi had something normal like white socks and blue stripes near the ankles while Soyeon was wearing her pink unicorn socks.
But she didn’t say anything about it.
And wow, the floor’s never looked cleaner! The hardwood floors were so polished and smooth!
“Thanks, it’s a rugby shirt my dad got me,” Yuqi replied, “look up. Why is your head always down?”
Soyeon did as she said, running her fingers through the strands of her dark hair. She squinted her eyes, her eyes going up and down Yuqi’s body.
“What— Why are you… taller?”
Some parts of her changed, like her hair down to the least significant things such as her scent, but among the bigger ones, however, was her height. It felt as though she was unusually taller — or did Soyeon shrink somehow? Was Yuqi wearing insoles? Was she standing on her tiptoes?
“What?”
“I said, you’re taller. Why?”
“I’ve always been like this. You’re also a little quiet tonight,” Yuqi remarked and leaned forward.
“I, I guess I don’t really feel like talking right now?” Soyeon sighed. “I’m fine, if you wanted to ask.”
“It’s like I’m talking to a stranger,” she commented and let out a laugh.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Soyeon crossed her arms.
“We would be fighting right now, but we’re not.”
Soyeon looked at her puzzled. “So you want us to fight? On New Year’s Eve? With our friends in the house with us?”
“No!” Yuqi interjected, her arms forming an X shape, “I was just saying!”
“I guess you really want to piss me off that bad, no?” Soyeon pressed and took a step closer.
“It’s not like that, but I find it funny when you’re mad,” Yuqi hastily explained, her feet nearly hitting the glass window behind her.
“So I’m only some laughingstock to you?”
“No!” she yelled, her upper back finally hitting the frames.
“Did you come over just to make fun of me? Is that it? Am I some sort of clown for your own entertainment? A jester for your satisfaction?” Soyeon stops within proximity, just barely breaching her personal space, with Yuqi practically pinned to the wall even though Soyeon’s hands were to herself.
“I said no!” Yuqi lightly shoved her by her shoulders.
“Don’t be so gullible. I was just joking.”
“I don’t like your jokes. And you’re so mean,” Yuqi scoffed, crossed her arms over her chest, and lightly kicked her leg childishly. Sometimes she acted too much like a kid, or at least whenever Soyeon had the chance to talk to her. Is anyone in this room even acting their age anymore?
“You asked for it.” Soyeon shrugged and sat down on the leather couch.
“Ugh. I’m gonna go have dinner,” Yuqi complained, storming her way out of the scuffle, and almost immediately, Soyeon followed her towards the dining hall.
After a long dinner full of exchanging greetings, passing word around the table, asking for salt and pepper, and perhaps some gossip, it was time for dessert. For Soyeon, at least, since others already moved on from it and proceeded to drunken karaoke sessions not too long ago.
Using a hand, she pulled Yuqi’s arm to get her to be beside her before she strayed too far and towards their tipsy friends, and using the other, she delicately hovered a fork over the tray of brownies.
“All of them look good. Don’t overthink it.” Yuqi shot a glance to the girl to her right, who scowled and stared right back at her.
“This one looks too soft, this one looks too hard, and this one looks too dry,” Soyeon spoke, pointing her fork at each brownie she described.
“The ones in the middle are really good. You should try it.”
“What— You like middle pieces?” Soyeon asked in disbelief, and Yuqi nodded in skepticism. “So you usually cut through the middle in a complete tray of brownies? They wouldn’t have that pleasant crisp you’d expect in a brownie, and also, that’s just wrong,” she mumbled.
“You’re not the one eating it.” Yuqi bit back. “If you don’t like it, get a corner piece.”
“But what if I don’t cut it right and now it’s too much crisp but too little soft? And it’s a little weird if I get really small portions!”
“No one’s going to judge you! If you hate it so much just get both!” Yuqi reasoned, tapping her fingers on the countertop lightly, her eyes fixed on the tray.
“That’s way too much for me!” Soyeon cried out.
“How about this, get both, and then we share it,” Yuqi proposed and turned her head to face the smaller girl.
“Okay.” Soyeon pressed her lips together.
“Let me hold the plate for you.” Soyeon could barely bite back a smile when she passed the ceramic plate over, it was nice, but now she could also barely hold the fork at all. She bunched up her hand into a fist, and hopefully, Yuqi didn’t notice how the utensil nearly slipped from her grasp.
To divert attention away from her, somehow, she brought up a thought from the back of her head. “There’s going to be a fireworks show later. It’s visible from the balcony upstairs, do you wanna watch it?”
Soyeon looked up, but Yuqi’s gaze was somewhere else, her hand gradually lowering the plate, as though she was second guessing herself.
“You okay?” she asked thoughtfully.
“Huh?” Yuqi’s head snapped back in her direction. “Oh, I’m fine. I’ll watch.”
Soyeon opened her mouth to speak, but one of their friends sung a little too loud — already drunk — making her face scrunch up. She wasn’t a fan of such a thing, and then she had an idea: “Wanna go upstairs? It’s more quiet ‘cause you can’t hear those idiots as much when you’re there.”
When Soyeon’s hands met the cold, metal railing as Yuqi stood next to her, it felt surreal. Apart from the fact she didn’t usually hang around this area because she started to shiver or break droplets of sweat whenever she looked down, someone she’s so not into was standing so close within her space. Far enough for a bit of space between their shoulders, but close enough for Soyeon to feel her warmth.
“What time is it?” Soyeon yawned. Maybe she asked too early. Though a firework would pop every now and then, that wasn’t the most significant part. Would Yuqi view her as boring? Careless? Unmindful?
“Five minutes ‘til twelve,” Yuqi announced with her eyes on her phone.
“Wow,” Soyeon remarked, “that’s a lot of time left.”
“It’s only five minutes?”
“Five minutes is a lot when you can’t wait for something.” Soyeon stared at her.
“Maybe if you learned how to wait, you’ll know better.”
“At least I don’t take the first slice from the center!” Soyeon argued, rising from her position on the railing.
“What does that even have to do with anything!” Yuqi shouted, outraged, “at least I don’t take an incredibly long amount of time just to pick out a brownie!”
So what if she took too long to pick out the best possible piece of dessert? So what if she took too long reading Yuqi’s expression and peering at the city lights through her eyes? None of these could ever compare to the monstrous act of cutting out a square from the center.
And so what if she thought too much about how Yuqi looked the slightest bit annoyed with her? She shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to act so melancholically. She also had to defend her point somehow.
“Everyone knows you’re not supposed to do that! You’re disrupting the natural flow of brownie selection!”
“Whatever! It’s almost twelve, we better look out.”
Within seconds, the night sky broke into a pleasant combination of colors, loud blasts following as an aftershock. At that moment, an overwhelming joy filled her — much so that she was watching the fireworks, and celebrating New Year’s even, with someone else, though not just anyone. A friend, perhaps. Who’s not really a friend, but could be considered one if you were to base on the laws of society.
It was the smallest things that mattered. Every breath, every blink, every mild exhale when the cold breeze continued to brush against Soyeon’s skin, eyes still fixed on the display, and up to the bigger picture that someone like Yuqi — Yuqi herself, rather — was standing right next to her witnessing the same beautiful events.
Though, that’d brought a couple of questions, did she appreciate it the same way? Did she feel as though Soyeon was wasting her time over nothing? Was she actually fed up over some brownies?
She wanted to deny it all, Soyeon thought, and so she shook her head. If she was so irritated then she would’ve left already. And if she was so upset, she would’ve refused and went home. Stupid thoughts. Instead, she intended on savoring the moment as well as recording a memory for her to revisit later.
Soyeon reached into her pocket only to be met with nothing.
“Shit. I forgot my phone,” Soyeon uttered. She considered going back for it, but she figured she could stay a little bit more, since nobody knew the password to it anyway, “can I borrow yours?”
When she looked again, though, Yuqi looked more wary than earlier. Her hands were close to her, arms crossed awkwardly, and it went up by her ears every few seconds with a twitch of an eye. Instinctively, Soyeon came to check up on her, hand tentatively sat on the railing.
“You okay? How are you holding up?” She turned her head just a little bit closer to get a better view of Yuqi’s face.
“I’m fine. Just don’t like loud noises, they make my head hurt sometimes.”
Soyeon hummed and backed away. She perked up slightly and remembered she somehow kept a pair of earplugs in her pocket, say, for safekeeping. An emergency route for when people start to talk a bit too much and there’s no way in getting out of it, her sister would say.
She took them out, and, gently, placed them in Yuqi’s ears. Her body loosened up when Yuqi’s expression finally subsided into a calmer, happier one, her back straightening and taking in a better view of the fireworks.
“I keep these in my pocket for these occasions.”
“I can’t hear a thing!” Yuqi grinned and turned in Soyeon’s direction momentarily.
“Great!”
To be frank, this moment felt cliché to her. As if she travelled back in time and got chosen to star in teenage rom-com films, or perhaps a film of a happily ever after where there’s a similar fireworks display, and it somehow ends in some kissing. She couldn’t name a film, that’s for sure, but it made her think. Or maybe she made it up in a spur of denial.
It also made Soyeon cringe inwardly, face scrunched up, but anyway, it didn’t necessarily have to happen to her. And so what? There wasn’t anything malicious about enjoying that same fireworks display while the thought of a silly argument over brownies brought a giddy feeling to her.
The time passed eventually, where Soyeon didn’t have to worry about anything else at the peak of her emotions, and Yuqi got to enjoy a light show that wasn’t so deafening to her.
As all calmed down, most lights downstairs shut off, and their friends went silent, Soyeon suggested they head back inside for farewells.
“How come you didn’t go with the others?” Yuqi asked as they both went down the stairs side by side.
“I don’t like hangovers. I still have a project to finish anyway.”
“So you’re also busy?”
“Obviously,” Soyeon chuckles. “You’re a little annoying.”
“Not annoying, just hot.”
“Only annoying.”
They briefly break apart when Yuqi left to assist a drunk Shuhua in the backseat of Minnie’s car whereas Soyeon went to lay Miyeon, in an awfully similar state as Shuhua, in the guest room near the living room.
“I’ll see you soon?”
Saying those words made Soyeon disappointed, in a sense. She complained about those ‘five minutes’ earlier, begging for time to go faster at least a bit, but now all she wanted was to go back in it. To rewind. The house was going to fall to its usual easygoing ambience, and Soyeon was going to feel colder tonight.
While she wasn’t a fan of loud celebrations, hence why she chose to stay somewhere else with Yuqi, she never wanted it to end. Life was cruel like that — this was one of the very few occasions where she got to see the other girl.
“Probably. I might be busy, but I’ll try to let you know. I’ll see you around.” Yuqi walked away, almost carelessly, although not without a smile.
Soyeon smiled back, sullenly, and went off to start on her own routine.
“Yuqi! Get over here!” Shuhua slurred.
“Actually,” Yuqi stopped and turned back around, “I wanted to ask something.”
“What?”
Soyeon frowned. She never liked whenever things came to this point of suspense, especially when Yuqi had that same look of hesitation on her face that screamed doubt. She assumed it to be something as mundane as ‘hey, you forgot something.’ And she was also on edge when Yuqi didn’t say anything for a good five seconds.
“Can I have your number?” the blonde asked, staring hopefully.
And, well, like most times, she was wrong. But unlike most times, it was for a good outcome.
“What— sorry, I, uh, yeah. I mean, yes. Hand me your phone.”
Soyeon bit her lip. She really wished she could just stop talking forever. Nonetheless, Shuhua’s incessant whining held her off for a little while.
“There.”
“Thanks. I’ll text you sometime,” Yuqi said calmly, taking hold of her phone.
“Yuqi!” Shuhua yelled again, a bit more impatient this time, “hurry up! I feel like my bladder’s gonna explode any time soon!”
“Coming!”
Soyeon’s eyes followed her. They never left the open door even when Minnie’s car started to drive away after she bid her own goodbyes and friendly kisses. Consequently, she didn’t notice her friend, who’s obviously had one too many drinks and smelled like a hot mess of holiday potpourri, creeping up on her from behind.
“So you do like h—“ Miyeon tried to say, her drunken self being unaware of being too loud that it made Soyeon jump and cover her mouth in an attempt to preserve any self dignity she had left, which also left her target grumbling against the force of her hand.
“Shut the fuck up, Miyeon!”