Work Text:
Sans dragged himself up the porch of his new home on the surface, tired after a day of working odd jobs en masse so he could keep his house. Getting out of his sneakers he put on his all time favorite slippers and slumped on the couch, letting out a heavy sight. "papyrus bro are you there?" he shouted into the room, hoping his brother was home and had cooked some spaghetti. He was met with silence. "papyrus? are you home?" still no answer. Grumbling a bit he got up from the couch and walked over to the fridge hoping for some leftovers which, after moving to their new apartment on the surface, were sparse. But the fridge only had a couple of old carrots in it. "why do we even keep carrots in the fridge" Sans said to himself while grabbing one and carefully starting to eat it. Just to spit it out seconds later after discovering the mold which had grown on it. He ran to the sink and rinsed his jaw to get rid of the horrible taste. This was even worse than Paps first tries at Spaghetti. Still hungry Sans slammed the fridge door. Just as he wanted to turn around a little yellow sticky note fluttered down to rest next to his feet. Confused, Sans picked it up. He thought Papyrus had removed all the sticky notes some time ago?
"DEAR BROTHER, I SHALL REMIND YOU THAT UNDYNE, THE HUMAN AND THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL LEAVE FOR A CAMPING TRIP WHILST YOU ARE AT WORK. WE SHALL BE BACK IN A WEEK. NYEHFULLY YOURS, THE GREAT PAPYRUS."
Huh. So that explained why all the food was gone and Papyrus was nowhere to be found. They had left two days ago for a trip to the nearby mountain and he just forgot, too stressed out from work. Now reassured his brother was alright and knowing the reason for this houses emptiness he finally relaxed and slipped out of his blue jacket and threw it over the nearest kitchen chair. Papyrus wasn't here so no harm done in leaving it to hang there. Maybe he should put it in the washer, he had been wearing it for an awfully long time now. He shrugged it off deciding to do it later.
Flopping down on the old lumpy sofa again he sighted, looking at his radius, checking if anything got worse. More specifically the small chips of bone missing from it, constantly draining his HP. He sighted and turned on the TV. It's not like anybody would come visit and see him like this. Flipping through the channels of worthless garbage he settled on watching a show about cars, despite not knowing a single thing about them. It was amusing to watch nonetheless. Humans running around trying to buy cars and sell them again.
After the fifth car he started to doze off despite trying to stay awake. He had a long work day after all.
Not being in the mood for getting up and going into his mess of a room again he decided to sleep on the sofa. It wasn't like his brother was home to shoo him up and make him go back to his room again. Papyrus… He hoped he would be okay. A camping trip was not exactly a safe thing to do in this part of the country after all, especially when being a monster. So many things that could happen. They could get mauled by a bear or mugged or attacked or… grumbling Sans turned around. He would never manage to go to sleep like this.
Usually he would read Papyrus his bedtime story and then go to sleep in his own bed right after. The guy was 21 years old for gods sake why did he still need a bedtime story. Though he suspected it was because he tried to make Sans happy by continuing to asking for one. His brother was just so cool.
Getting up with a grunt again Sans made his way to the closet. If he couldn't go to sleep the normal way he'd just have to find another way. And Sans way was maybe not the best but it worked. He had done it back in the underground when he was still working for… who was he working for again? Shaking his head he started rummaging in the closet, finally pulling out red bottle with a ketchup looking substance in it.
Monster alcohol.
Thank god he always kept a secret stash for moments like this. He had gotten it quite some time ago and it was nearly empty but there was still somewhat enough. He hoped it would work. Trudging back to the couch he flopped down and undid the cap of the bottle and took a big swig wincing as it burned it's way down his throat. Ignoring his throat he took another big gulp. And another and another until he felt dizzy enough to nearly fell over trying to get up and get to the trashcan, where he forced out the leftover magic from his last meals, which were not many. Usually Papyrus made him eat.
Now sitting next to the trashcan he kept drinking the burning liquid like it was his life source. Everything started looking a bit fuzzy at this point so he decided to stop, hoping it was enough. Maybe he could sleep now. Maybe it would help. Stumbling a bit more he went over to the kitchen counter and tried to put the bottle on there. He didn't want to spill it after all. He needed it. But despite his best tries he just dropped it and the liquid got all over the floor and his white shirt.
He'd clean it later. With a lot of effort he dragged himself to his room just to crash down right next to the bed “pathetic, pathetic, PATHETIC" he cried tears streaming down his face.
He couldn't do anything right. Je wanted his brother to come back home. He missed him already. "i am so pathetic.. i'm USELESS" he burst out and threw the nearest object, which happened to be a lighter, to the wall. Or at least tried to. It just slipped out of his hand because they were shaking so much. All of him was shaking. Sobbing he curled up into a ball and whimpered. He couldn't do it. He had a horrible day and he wanted Papyrus to be there when he came home. He wanted him to cook his horrible Spaghetti and drag him out of bed in the morning calling him a lazybones and getting annoyed at his jokes.
Why did he have to go on that goddamn camping trip. He missed them so much. Toriels little brat running around their house too.
Oh Toriel. He's had a crush on her ever since they met. The woman behind the door. She used to bring Frisk over for the brothers to watch over them a lot. Now the kid had grown up quite a bit and went to middle school. They still liked to visit.
He curled back into himself and let out a sight. He felt so lonely. so soul crushingly lonely. Phone! He still had an emergency phone in his bedside drawer! He needed to call papyrus to make sure he was okay. Pulling his bedside drawer open he groped around in it, not seeing anything from his position on the floor when suddenly a sharp pain made him pull his fingers back. Oh right. His blades. the… razorblades. He grabbed one before thinking and looked at it. It was horribly tempting. He ran his fingertips over the gleaming edge watching as a small part of his finger turned into dust leaving a small indent in the bone. Taking a firmer grip on it he dragged it over his radius and ulna in a quick motion, watching the dust rain to the floor. Oh how he wished he could bleed sometimes. It would make a lot of things easier for him. Sighting he put the blade away realizing if he would do more it would drain his HP too much. He already only had one. Dropping the blade next to him he leaned agains the bedframe and passed out….