Work Text:
Damon wasn’t exactly a friendly person. Everyone knew that. Well, It’s not like he tried to hide the fact. Actually, he was quite content with everyone being aware of his unfriendliness. It made him less approachable which pleased him. He appreciated his alone time, most people in this place were too loud and annoying anyways.
But, Damon has been having a dilemma lately. If he is in fact so unapproachable, then why does Kai keep on pestering him? And why won’t he just push Kai away? And if he dislikes the company of the majority of the others in this academy, then why does he find himself somewhat enjoying spending time with him? No. Damon quickly dismisses that last question. It was a lie. He doesn’t actually enjoy spending time with him because he’s just as annoying as the rest. …Well, that’s what Damon tells himself at least.
It’s currently late at night, Damon is lying in Kai’s bed, unable to fall asleep. Damon can only stare at the bed canopy above him, the only sounds being Kai softly breathing next to him and the gentle hum of the air conditioning running.
Damon frowns to himself as he reflects on his feelings. Kai is just as irritating as everyone else here, so why? Why does he keep on coming back to Kai’s room? Every night he finds himself coming back to this room, it’s routine at this point. Damon originally told himself he only sleeps in Kai’s room for his own personal safety but even he knows himself that that’s not exactly true.
Damon knows it’s still not 100% safe staying the night with Kai. It’s also not like anyone would know Damon would be by himself in his own room if he did decide to ditch Kai since everyone would just assume he is still with his roommate. Plus, it’s not like he exactly felt unsafe the very first night when he was by himself… And he could just always push a chair up against the door again, so why doesn’t he just do that? Maybe it was because he knew Kai would feel unsafe without him there. …No, that’s definitely not it either. Why would he care about Kai’s feelings? He doesn’t. That’s what Damon tells himself again. It’s simply just because he knows if he doesn’t arrive at Kai’s room at night, Kai will only just beg for him to come back. That’s the only reason.
Damon sighs softly to himself. Why can’t he stop thinking about him? He really doesn’t understand. Kai’s just some stupid influencer with an insignificant talent. Damon doesn’t care about him in the slightest. He doesn’t care about Kai’s opinion on him and he certainly doesn’t care about the warm feeling he feels in his chest when he sees Kai smile, and how intense that feeling is when that smile is directed towards him. Damon sighs once again as he turns to lay on his side.
Damon’s breath hitches as he turns and is met with the sight of Kai’s seemingly peaceful face, fast asleep. Damon’s mind goes almost blank, the only thing on his mind being the view in front of him, that view being Kai. Whilst Damon was silently admiring Kai (though Damon would never admit to doing that), he could feel his heartbeat start to slowly increase. ‘That’s weird’ Damon thought but he didn’t dwell on it too much, he was too tired. Suddenly, Kai started shifting in his sleep and Damon immediately turns to lay facing upwards again, closing his eyes and feigning sleep in case Kai happened to be waking up.
…
"Damon? Are you awake?" Kai mumbled softly, his voice slightly shaky. After a few seconds, without really thinking, Damon opens his eyes slowly and rubs them, acting as if he just woke up. "Well I am now." Damon grumbles. As soon as he responds he immediately questions himself in his mind. 'What the hell? What am I doing? Why didn’t I just pretend to be asleep?' Damon’s train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Kai speaking up once again.
"I’m scared." Huh? Damon frowns slightly before replying. "Why? It’s not like anyone’s going to come in and kill us. Everyone is sleeping with their roommate so everyone knows we’re both in here together." Damon responds, knowing full well a killer could simply come in and kill the both of them but Damon decides to not say that as he doesn’t want to worry Kai any further. Only because that would be annoying. Not because he cares about his feelings or anything like that.
"I don’t know, I just… I had a nightmare that someone was attacking me and trying to kill me." Kai quietly responds. Damon frowns, feeling a slight pang in his chest as he hears Kai’s voice quivering as he speaks. "Well, you’re safe currently at this moment. Just focus on that fact for now." Damon knows that that’s not exactly the best advice but it’s all he can come up with on the spot. A few seconds pass and Kai doesn’t respond and Damon starts to feel compelled to add on to his previous advice but he doesn’t really know what to say. In truth, he’s scared most of the time here too. So, Damon decides to stay silent too.
The silence is finally broken as Kai suddenly speaks up again. "Sorry for waking you up." Kai replies as he then turns around, his back turned to Damon as he closes his eyes again, in an attempt to fall back asleep. Damon feels his heart drop slightly as Kai does this and Damon finds himself murmuring something aloud.
"I’m scared too. Everyone is." There was no response again for a while. "That doesn’t help." Kai mumbles back eventually. "…Sorry." Damon replies, genuinely apologizing. Again, as soon as he does this he starts questioning himself again in his mind. 'What the hell? Why am I apologizing? Kai was the one being rude to me if anything, so why am I the one saying sorry?'
Kai chuckles softly under his breath as he listens to Damon’s apology. "Did you just apologize?" Now it’s Damon who doesn’t respond. "I’ve never heard you apologize before. Maybe you do have a heart after all." Kai adds on, smiling to himself, though Damon can’t see it due to Kai still having his back facing him. "Obviously I have a heart." Damon mumbles grumpily as he briefly glances over to Kai.
Kai was right though. Damon rarely does apologize yet he just apologized to Kai for something stupid which he wasn’t even in the wrong for. Kai just softly hums in response as he slowly turns back to face Damon, a genuine smile on Kai’s face. "…Thanks for trying to comfort me at least. That’s also unexpected from you."
Damon doesn’t reply as he just stares at Kai. Specifically the smile on his face. Damon feels his heartbeat increase again, a lot faster this time, he’s can’t even focus on the fact that it was indeed unusual of himself to try and comfort someone. Kai just softly giggles as he takes in Damon’s expression, finding it rather amusing as he was used to Damon’s usual scowl. Damon simply carries on staring as he feels himself grow even more confused. Why does he feel like this? What even is this feeling? Why does he only feel this way around Kai? And why does he secretly not want this feeling to stop despite the fact he feels like he’s about to have a heart attack?
"Goodnight Damon." Kai whispers softly before closing his eyes once again, but this time he stays facing Damon. Damon just continues to stare at Kai, narrowing his eyes as he silently examines his features. A strange thought then suddenly popped into Damon’s mind whilst he was looking at Kai. He looked pretty.
…
In all honesty, Damon knows deep down that he does in fact enjoy being around Kai, he does care about him and in fact, he even wants to become closer with him. Much closer. He wants to see Kai smile more, he wants to hear Kai laugh again. But most of all, he wants it to be because of him in particular.
But alas, Damon won’t be at peace with his mind anytime soon. Because, well, it’s not like he will ever admit any of that to himself. He’ll just keep on making excuses for his feelings. Over and over again.
But maybe, just maybe, one night whilst he’s staring up at the bed canopy above him, late at night, listening to the sound of Kai’s gentle breathing and the humming AC, he might finally realize that what he’s feeling is love.