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Chapter Text

Five year old Meredith Grey woke up in the morning and frowned when she saw that it was already 10am when normally her mommy woke her up at 6am. The little girl got out of bed and opened her bedroom door, finding the house quiet. “Mommy?” She called as she walked down the hall to her mother’s bedroom, only to find it empty and the bed not slept in. She checked a few more rooms before walking downstairs. “Mommy?” Meredith walked into the kitchen and let out a scream when she found Ellis in a pool of blood. The little girl pulled a chair over to the wall and climbed on top of it in order to reach the phone and dialed 911. “Hello? I think my mommy killed herself.”

Later that day Meredith sat in the hospital with a blanket wrapped around her while a social worker talked to Richard Webber, a friend of Ellis’ who had also formed a bond with the little girl. “Her father’s name is Thatcher Grey, I can look and see if there’s a contact number for him in Ellis’ employee file.” The man offered as he ran his fingers over his temples.

“He’s not my daddy.” Meredith said quietly, causing both Richard and the social worker to turn towards her. “Thatch not my daddy.”

“Meredith, of course he’s your daddy.” Richard knelt down in front of Meredith. “I think you’re just in shock.”

“No. Thatch and mommy got into a big fight cause mommy said he not my daddy. Mommy was crying and he asked what was wrong and she said ‘Mewedif isn’t yours.’ I was in my room playin with my dolly’s and I heard. She say sorry, but he left. Ten mommy fed me dinner and put me to bed. I asked mommy who my daddy was and she say I find out today, but now she dead.” Meredith explained with a vacant and far away expression.

“I’ll see if I can get in touch with Thatcher.” Richard left the room and searched for Thatcher’s phone number. After talking to the man, he realized that Meredith was telling the truth after the fight between Thatcher and Ellis. “Well did she say who Meredith’s father is? Ellis is dead and that little girl deserves more than ending up in the foster system.”

“She said it was in her will and that it would be revealed only once she was dead.” Thatcher sighed. “She planned this, didn’t she?”

“Apparently she told Meredith that she would find out who her father was today, so it sounds like this was planned.” Richard shook his head. “Fucking Ellis.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying since she sat me down and told me that the child I’ve been raising for five years isn’t mine.” Thatcher agreed. “Do you know where to find her will?”

“Yeah, she told me that if anything ever happened to her that it was hidden in a file in the back of her locker. At least now I know why it was hidden. Thank you Thatcher.” Richard hung up the phone and went down to the resident’s locker room and found the file in the back of Ellis’ locker. After locating the will he looked it over and called the person listed as Meredith’s father and guardian if anything were to happen to her. “Hello? Is this Adam Montgomery?”

“It is, who is this?” The Captain asked.

“This is Richard Webber, I’m a resident at Seattle Grace Hospital in Washington. This might sound strange, but did you know Ellis Grey?” Richard asked awkwardly.

“Uh yes, why?” The Captain’s voice was suspicious as he responded.

“Ellis killed herself and she has listed you as both the father of her five year old daughter Meredith as well as the guardian of her.” Richard explained.

“I’ll be there in a few hours.” The Captain ended the call and walked into the living room where his wife was sitting with their fifteen year old daughter Addison. “Sweetie, I need to talk to your mom. Would you mind going up to your room?”

“Okay.” Addison nodded and walked up the stairs. Once her bedroom door shut behind her, The Captain turned to Bizzy.

“I need to tell you something and you’re probably going to be mad and want to scream, but I need you to let me finish.” The Captain sat down on the couch.

“Okay.” Bizzy nodded.

“A little over five years ago when we were going through our rough patch and I went away for a convention, I had a one night stand. I came home and we decided to work things out, so I didn’t want to tell you in case it made you change your mind. “ The Captain confessed.

“Why are you telling me now?” Bizzy asked.

“The woman I slept with apparently got pregnant, but she never told me and now she’s dead and her five year old daughter has nowhere to go and I’m listed as her father as well as her guardian in her mother’s will.” The Captain explained. “I can’t just let her go into the social services when I am more than capable of being a father.”

“You’re right.” Bizzy wiped the tears that had risen in her eyes. “I am mad and I do want to yell, but it was over five years ago and as long as that is the only time you have cheated on me, I can forgive you.”

“It is.” The Captain promised. “I swear to you.”

“Okay.” Bizzy nodded. “You’re also right that we can’t just let this little girl go into the system when we are more than capable of taking her in and raising her, but you have to be the one to tell Addie and Archer.”

“Addie’s always wanted a sister, she probably won’t be too angry.” The Captain argued. “Archer will probably be upset at first, but he won’t take it out on Meredith.”

“Her name is Meredith?” Bizzy smiled. “That’s beautiful. Do you think you’ll legally change her last name?”

“I want her to feel like part of the family.” The Captain nodded. “And considering Ellis killed herself, I don’t think having any type of connection to her is a good idea.”

“That poor child.” Bizzy gasped and covered her mouth. “So what now?”

“Now I pretend that I didn’t hear our nosey daughter’s bedroom door open moments after we began this conversation and call her back down here.” The Captain chuckled. “Addie, you can come back down!” Addison ran down the stairs.

“Am I really getting a sister?!” Addison jumped up and down excitedly.

“Yes, her name is Meredith and she’s five years old. I’m going to Seattle to meet her as soon as I talk to Archer. When I bring her home she’ll probably be scared so I’m counting on you to be welcoming. Can I count on you?” The Captain asked Addison as Bizzy called the jet to make sure it was ready.

“You can count on me.” Addison nodded with a smile. “Can I come with you?”

“Sure.” The Captain laughed. “Maybe you can help us break the ice. Go pack some clothes in case we have to stay in Seattle overnight, I’m going to go talk to your brother.” He walked up the stairs to Archer’s room and knocked on the door before entering. “Sport? I need to talk to you.”

“What’s going on?” Archer asked his father as he turned away from his video game.

“A little over five years ago, I cheated on your mother.” The Captain admitted. “The woman I cheated with killed herself leaving behind a five year old daughter.”

“You had another child and never told us?!” Archer yelled.

“Archer, I just found out.” The Captain sighed. “She never told me that she got pregnant. If she did, do you really think that I wouldn’t have supported my child?”

“Well, I never thought that you would have cheated on Bizzy.” Archer snapped before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I deserved that.” The Captain sat down next to Archer. “Look, I love your mother and I regretted cheating on her as soon as it happened, but we were going through a rough time in our marriage and I made a mistake.”

“Do you regret it?” Archer asked.

“No, because now I can go to Seattle and pick up your little sister and hopefully help her through losing her mother in such a traumatic way. I understand if you can’t forgive me for cheating on Bizzy, but it’s not Meredith’s fault and I don’t want you to take it out on her.” The Captain cautioned.

“You only cheated the one time?” Archer double checked.

“Yes, that was the only time.” The Captain promised.

“If Bizzy can forgive you, then so can I.” Archer smiled. “And even if I couldn’t, I would never take it out on my new baby sister. So I take it me, Bizzy, and Addie are responsible for getting the house ready while you’re gone?”

“Actually just you and Bizzy.” The Captain chuckled. “Addie’s coming with me. Aren’t you so happy that you chose to spend your break from University visiting your family?”

“Oh yeah, I can hardly wait for Bizzy to drag me around department stores while she buys everything a little girl could possibly want for her bedroom.” Archer rolled his eyes with a small grin. “I’ll see you when you get home and I promise, I’ll make sure Bizzy doesn’t go too overboard.”

“Good luck with that.” The Captain laughed as he left Archer’s room to go pack his own suitcase. After saying goodbye to Bizzy, he and Addison left for the airport to go meet Meredith for the first time.

Around 6pm Seattle time, The Captain and Addison walked into Seattle Grace Hospital and asked a nurse to please page Richard. The nurse nodded and a couple minutes later Richard walked up to them. “Thank you for coming so fast, Meredith’s a mess. She hasn’t said a word since she told me that Ellis’ husband wasn’t her father. I can’t say I’m too surprised since she’s the one who found Ellis’ body and called 911.”

“She found her mother’s dead body?” Addison whispered to herself as tears gathered in her eyes.

“Richard. Can you please take us to Meredith?” The Captain asked with a sense of urgency in his tone.

“Of course.” Richard nodded and led them to the conference room where Meredith was being watched by a social worker. The little girl was staring ahead of herself blankly, her eyes red and tired. “Meredith? I have a couple people who want to meet you. Is that okay?” The little girl nodded and turned to look at the man and tall, lanky redhead.

“Hi Meredith, I’m The Captain and I’m your father.” The Captain walked over to where Meredith was sitting and knelt in front of her. “I’m sorry about your mother, but I want you to come live with me, if that’s what you want.” He noticed that the little girl continued to stare past him, her gaze locked on Addison. “That’s Addison, or as we call her Addie, she’s your older sister. Addie, why don’t you come say hi?” The redhead nodded and knelt in front of Meredith while The Captain went to talk to the social worker.

“Hi Meredith.” Addison beamed. “I’m Addie and I’m your sister. I’m really excited for you to come live with us. We also have an older brother named Archer, he’s kind of annoying but he can be really funny. He’s normally away at college, but he comes to visit whenever he can. Our mom, Bizzy, is also looking forward to meeting you. How old are you?”

“Five.” Meredith whispered.

“Really? That’s so cool! I’m fifteen and Archer is eighteen.” Addison gasped softly when Meredith engulfed her in a hug, her arms immediately wrapping around the young girl. “I think you and I are going to be best friends, what do you think?” Meredith nodded against her shoulder.

“I would like dat.” Meredith whispered with a small smile as the adults watched the sister’s interaction in shock.

“I think Addison might have magical powers.” Richard chuckled. “I’ve known Meredith her entire life and she wouldn’t even talk to me.”

“Addie is a special kid.” The Captain smiled proudly. “She’s always wanted a sister, I just wish that I knew about Meredith five years ago.”

“From what Thatcher told me, he and Ellis were fighting when she slept with you and then when she found out she was pregnant, he was so excited at the idea of becoming a father that she didn’t want to hurt him with the truth, but finally yesterday the guilt became too much so she told him. They fought and he left. I went by their house earlier to grab something for Meredith to change into because her pajamas were soaked in Ellis’ blood and I found a suicide note in which Ellis admitted that she couldn’t live with the guilt of hurting Thatcher and keeping you and Meredith apart. She said that she loves Meredith and always will, but the guilt was too much.” Richard explained.

“It’s just awful.” The Captain sighed. “My wife and I will make sure that Meredith has the childhood that she deserves and that she’s happy, no matter what it takes.” He promised as he watched Meredith giggle while Addison tickled her side.

The next day Meredith followed The Captain into the mansion, her small hand holding onto Addison’s tightly. The little girl hadn’t said much to her father directly, instead she had been talking through her older sister, but The Captain didn’t take offense as he knew it would take time for Meredith to adjust to him, especially after the trauma she had experienced the day before. Bizzy stood up from the couch when the three entered the living room and called Archer down from his bedroom. “Hi Meredith, I’m Bizzy. It’s really nice to meet you.” The little girl tapped on her sister’s arm and the older girl bent down so she could whisper in her ear.

“I’ll ask her.” Addison kissed Meredith’s forehead before standing up and turning towards Bizzy. “Meredith wants to know if you’re going to be her new mommy.” The woman walked over to the little girl and knelt in front of her.

“Honey, I don’t want to replace your mommy, but I do want to be here for you in any way that you are comfortable with and I won’t treat you any differently than I treat Addison and Archer.” Bizzy promised.

“You’ll be just like us, Mer, we call her Bizzy too.” Archer snickered, causing Meredith to giggle as she turned to whisper to Addison again. The redhead laughed while her parents and brother looked at her with questioning expressions.

“She said that I was right when I said that Archer was kind of funny, but she can see why I said he’s annoying, she also likes the nickname Mer.” Addison explained before Meredith started whispering in her ear again. “I think she would love that.” She smiled and nodded to the little girl, who soon let go of her big sister’s hand and hugged Bizzy who quickly hugged her back.

“I think I gonna like it here.” Meredith whispered with a wide smile as she turned back to Addison. “Addie, pick me up?”

“Of course.” Addison smiled and picked Meredith up. “Should we go see your room? I’m sure Bizzy went nuts.” she chuckled.

“Oh she did.” Archer confirmed. “It’s the one next to yours, come on I’ll show you guys.” He led his sister’s up the stairs while Bizzy and The Captain watched them go with smiles on their faces.

“We have some great kids.” The Captain commented.

“We do, all three of them.” Bizzy smiled proudly. “Meredith may not be mine by blood and I meant what I said when I told her I don’t want to replace her mother, but she’s still my stepdaughter and I will treat her as if she’s my own daughter.”

“Thank you.” The Captain kissed Bizzy softly as they heard all three kids laughing from upstairs. Meredith already fit into the family perfectly and he knew that he would do whatever he could to make up for missing the first five years of her life.

Chapter Text

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery!” Bizzy yelled up the stairs. “Honey, we have to take Addie to college! Come on!”

“Bizzy, I’ll go upstairs and check on her.” Addison offered. “Even though I’ll only be an hour away, she’s not too excited about me leaving.” She walked up the stairs and knocked on her little sister’s bedroom door. “Meri?” She walked inside and noticed the now eight year old Meredith’s feet sticking out from under her bed. The redhead sat down on the floor in front of the bed and looked under the bed and found her little sister with a tear stricken face. “Come here Meri.” She held her arms out and smiled softly when the little girl crawled out from under the bed and threw her arms around her big sister’s neck.

“Addie, do you really have to go?” Meredith whimpered against the eighteen year old’s neck. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too, but I’ll be home every weekend.” Addison promised. “And you know that I’m only a phone call away if you ever want to talk, even if I don’t answer, I will always call you back.”

“Okay.” Meredith sighed. “Do we really need to leave right now? I’m not ready to let go yet.”

“We have a few more minutes.” Addison chuckled as she cupped Meredith’s small face in her hands. “Oh Meri, my perfect baby sister, you’re going to be okay. I hear you and Bizzy have plans to start scrapbooking?”

“Yeah.” Meredith smiled. “Do you want me to make you a scrapbook?”

“I would love that.” Addison nodded with a wide smile. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Always.” Meredith played with the ends of Addison’s hair while she sat in her big sister’s lap.

“I’m scared to go to college.” Addison confessed. “I’m so used to being home with my adorable little shadow that I’m scared to be away from you during the week, just like you’re scared to be away from me.”

“Really?” Meredith gasped. “But you’re not scared of anything!”

“I’m scared of change, just like you are.” Addison admitted. “And I’m scared that you’re going to have so much fun without me that you’re going to realize that you don’t need your big sister.”

“I’ll always need you.” Meredith argued. “You’re my best friend and my favorite sibling.”

“I’m telling Archer that you said that.” Addison laughed.

“Not if I tell him first.” Meredith smirked with a giggle. “You‘ll be home this weekend? Promise?” She asked with big eyes.

“I pinky promise.” Addison smiled and interlocked her pinky with Meredith’s. They both kissed their hands before letting go. “We’re going to be okay, Meri, we’re going to be okay.”

“I trust you.” Meredith beamed as she wrapped her arms around Addison’s neck. “But you have to carry me downstairs.”

“Of course.” Addison laughed and stood up with Meredith in her arms and walked down the stairs. “I think we’re ready, and Meri has news for Archer.”

“Addie’s my favorite sibling!” Meredith bounced in Addison’s arms as the entire family started laughing.

“I think we all already knew that Mer.” Archer laughed as the family walked out to the car to bring Addison to college. Meredith sat in the backseat sandwiched between her two siblings and thought over the past three years that she had been in the Forbes Montgomery home.

True to her word, Bizzy never treated Meredith any differently than she treated her biological children  and even adopted the little girl as her own. It wasn’t a secret that the woman had a soft spot for the young girl and often admitted that Meredith was her favorite child. She was always around to help the blonde with her homework or for anything else that she needed. Meredith never forgot Ellis, but she loved Bizzy and viewed her as her mother.

Archer was her annoying older brother who always had time for the young girl when he was home, even if he acted annoyed when she interrupted his video game time to demand he play with her, he would never pass up the opportunity to spend time with his youngest sister.

The Captain may have missed out on the first five years of Meredith’s life, but he felt like he had always known her. The little girl had warmed up to him in time and now loved to crash his poker games, the young girl herself became quite skilled in Texas Hold ‘Em and was even better than some adults despite being only eight years old. She loved going to work with him when she wasn’t at school and the hospital that he worked at absolutely loved the blonde and her infectious giggle that could make even the most cold hearted person crack a smile.

Addison was not only Meredith’s older sister and best friend, but essentially her second mother. The two had an extremely special bond and the redhead took her little sister with her just about everywhere she could. It was Addison who taught Meredith how to ride a bike and loved to bake cookies with her. Bizzy often joined the two, but also respected when her youngest child would tell her ‘Bizzy we love you, but we’re having sister time.’ From that first day that the two sister’s met, they were very close and Addison always made sure that her little sister, who only the redhead was allowed to call Meri, knew that no matter what happened she would always be there if she needed her. Meredith was also the reason that Addison decided to stay in Connecticut for college, that way the blonde would know that if she ever needed her big sister that she was only an hour away and would be home every weekend.

After dropping Addison off at college and then saying goodbye to Archer when he went back to medical school, Meredith settled into a new normal where she was the only child left at home. She spent the days at school and her afternoons and nights were spent with her parents. As promised, the first scrapbook that Meredith worked on was one for her beloved big sister. “Bizzy, do you think Addie would prefer pink or purple borders?”

“Purple because it’s your favorite color.” Bizzy kissed the top of Meredith’s head. “How did your math test go today?”

“Good, I think I got almost everything right.” Meredith smiled as she glued the purple border down. “I miss Addie.” She sighed sadly.

“I know you do honey, but The Captain should be back with her in just a little bit and then she’s not leaving again until Sunday.” Bizzy reminded her. “This week wasn’t so bad without her, was it?”

“No, I had fun with you and The Captain.” Meredith smiled. “This is just the longest I’ve ever been away from Addie since the day I met her.”

“I understand.” Bizzy brushed Meredith’s hair out of her face. “She’s always been like another mother to you, hasn’t she?” The little girl nodded as she stuck her tongue out and focused on gluing a picture of her and Addison to the page in her scrapbook.

“I want to be just like her when I grow up.” Meredith beamed. “We’re both gonna be surgeons.”

“Is that so?” Bizzy chuckled as Meredith nodded matter of factly. “What kind of surgeon are you going to be?”

“Don't know yet.” Meredith shrugged.

“That’s okay, you still have plenty of time to figure it out.” Bizzy assured Meredith. “After all, you’re only eight years old.”

“True.” Meredith giggled. “Yet I’m better at poker than The Captain is.”

“Well, that’s not hard. The Captain isn’t very good.” Bizzy laughed as she handed Meredith the next picture for her scrapbook. After about half an hour, the little girl heard the sound of her father’s car and squealed in excitement.

“Bizzy, can you hide all this? I gotta go see Addie!” Meredith jumped out of her chair and ran out the back door to the driveway before Bizzy could even respond. “Addie!” The little girl ran towards her older sister and jumped into Addison’s open arms.

“Meri!” Addison hugged Meredith tightly as she settled the seven year old on her hip and pressed multiple kisses across her face. “Oh I missed you!”

“You girls act like you don’t talk on the phone every single night.” The Captain chuckled.

“It’s not the same.” Addison chuckled as she walked into the house with Meredith on her hip. “Meri, I don’t know how I even got through the week without my cute little shadow climbing into my bed in the middle of the night!”

“I slept in your bed sometimes, but it wasn’t the same.” Meredith sighed. “Sleepover?”

“Of course!” Addison smiled as she walked into the kitchen where Bizzy had successfully managed to hide all of the scrapbooking supplies. “Hi Bizzy.” She wrapped her free arm around her mother. “Glad to see that the three of you managed to survive a few days without me.”
“Just barely.”  Bizzy laughed. “Honey, don’t forget that you have a book report due on Monday that you have refused to work on all week because you wanted Addie’s help with it.”

“I remember.” Meredith smiled. “Addie you can help, right?”

“After a week of college nothing sounds more like a break than a second grade book report.” Addison laughed and kissed Meredith’s forehead. “What’s the book?”

“The Tale of Despereaux.” Meredith giggled as she watched realization light up in Addison’s eyes.

“No wonder you wanted my help.” Addison laughed. “That was your favorite bedtime story between the ages of five and seven. You probably didn’t even need to reread the book since I’m sure you could recite it from memory.”

“I could.” Meredith nodded. “So you’ll help me? I have to decorate a poster board to show the theme of the book.”

“Of course I’ll help you.” Addison promised. “We can start later tonight when we’re waiting for our cookies to bake.”

“Yay!” Meredith cheered as Addison carried her up the stairs. The Captain walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Bizzy.

“I don’t think I’ve heard Mer giggle like that all week.” The Captain commented as the girls disappeared up the stairs.

“She said that she had fun with us this week, but there’s just no competing with Addie.” Bizzy smiled as she turned to kiss The Captain softly. “I should start on dinner before the girls take over the kitchen to bake cookies.”

Upstairs Meredith sat on Addison’s bed while the redhead dug through her closet looking for her favorite sweatshirt. “Addie?”

“Yes Meri?” Addison hummed as she finally found the sweatshirt and pulled it on. She turned around and found her little sister with tears about to spill over. “What’s wrong?” The redhead rushed over to the bed and pulled her sister into her arms. “Talk to me.”

“There’s this kid in my class that’s mean to me.” Meredith sobbed. “He pulls my hair and trips me in the lunchroom.”

“What?” Addison pulled back slightly to look at Meredith’s face. Anger filled the eighteen year old when she saw the tears streaming down her sister’s face. “What’s his name?”

“Jamie Kingston.” Meredith sniffled. “He said if I tell the teacher he’s gonna beat me up.”

“It’ll be hard to do that with my foot up his ass.” Addison growled protectively.

“Addie!” Meredith gasped. “You said a bad word!”

“You’ve said worse.” Addison raised an eyebrow at the little girl. “I’m going to take care of this, okay?” Meredith nodded. “Stay here, I’m going to go talk to Bizzy and The Captain. I’ll be right back.” She pressed a soft kiss to the little girl’s forehead before storming down the stairs and into the kitchen where Bizzy was making dinner. “How long will I go to jail if I shove my foot up a seven year old boy’s ass?!”

“Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery! Language!” Bizzy scolded

“I don’t care!” Addison exclaimed. “This rotten little kid is bullying Meredith!”

“What?” Bizzy’s eyes widened. “Adam! Get in here!”

“What’s going on?” The Captain walked into the kitchen and saw Addison practically seething with anger. “Addie?”

“This kid in Mer’s class is bullying her! He pulls her hair and trips her in the cafeteria and told her that if she tells the teacher that he’s going to beat her up!” Addison explained. “Now I’m going to track this little shit down and shove my foot up his ass!”

“Let’s just take a breath.” Bizzy put her hands on Addison’s shoulders. “Did she happen to tell you the child’s name?”

“Jamie Kingston.” Addison responded after taking a deep breath. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to call the teacher first thing Monday morning.” Bizzy said.

“Why? So he can get in trouble and then beat her up?!” Addison exclaimed. “Wouldn’t it just make more sense for me to track him down and shove my foot up his ass?”

“Addie, you know your mother doesn’t like when you use that type of language.” The Captain sighed. “Although personally I agree with you.”

“Adam!” Bizzy turned to glare at her husband. “The two of you are not ganging up to physically assault a seven year old child, even if he does deserve it.”

“Can I at least threaten him?” Addison whined.

“No.” Bizzy chuckled. “I know you hate it, but our best option is to call the teacher.”

“Fine, but I’m teaching Mer to punch and telling her that if he hits her, to hit him back.” Addison turned and marched out of the kitchen and went back to her room where Meredith was waiting on the bed. “Okay Meri, Bizzy is going to call your teacher on Monday. If Jamie beats you up, I want you to hit him back. No one hits a Forbes Montgomery and just gets away with it.”

“Won’t I get in trouble?” Meredith scrunched her nose up in confusion.

“Probably, but if he gets beat up by a girl I doubt he’ll mess with you again.” Addison smirked. “Do you trust me?”

“More than anything.” Meredith nodded.

“Good, then it’s time to teach you how to throw a punch.” Addison smiled.

Monday afternoon Bizzy got a call from Meredith’s school and immediately rushed there. When she got to the office, the seven year old was sitting outside of the principal’s office holding an ice pack to her lip which was swollen and bloody. “Oh my god Mer.” She sat down and pulled the little girl into her arms. “Did that Jamie kid do this?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” Meredith smiled mischievously. “I hit him back. Twice. I made his nose bleed.” She giggled.

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery, we do not hit people.” Bizzy scolded, but secretly she was proud of the usually timid girl for standing up for herself. The principal’s office door opened and out walked Jamie and his father. The young boy had a black eye and was holding a tissue to his nose to try to stop the bleeding. He stopped next to Meredith and looked down at his feet.

“Sorry.” Jamie muttered before walking away with his father. The principal called Bizzy and Meredith into her office and after explaining to the little girl that violence doesn’t solve anything, she promised that Jamie wouldn’t be bothering her again. After their meeting with the principal, Bizzy and Meredith arrived home and were sitting at the kitchen table where Bizzy cleaned the blood from the little girl’s lip.

“Under normal circumstances I would ground you, but that kid had it coming to him.” Bizzy sighed. “He did throw the first punch, right?”

“Yes.” Meredith nodded. “But he didn’t throw the last one.” She smirked. “Addie told me to never let someone else throw the last punch. Let them throw the first, but for me to throw the last.”

“Of course she did.” Bizzy rolled her eyes. “No more playground brawls, okay?”

“I promise.” Meredith smiled. “Can I call Addie?”

“Sure.” Bizzy chuckled and stood up to grab the phone. When Addison answered Bizzy fixed her voice with faux sternness. “Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery I just had to pick your sister up from school because she punched a boy in the face. Twice!”

“Did he punch her first?” Addison asked simply. Bizzy fought to keep her composure, but soon let out a small chuckle.

“You’re unbelievable.” Bizzy laughed. “The champion cage fighter would like to talk to you, please hold.” She passed the phone to Meredith.

“Addie! Jamie punched me in the lip so I punched him in the eye! Then he went to punch me again so I punched him in the nose! There was blood everywhere!” Meredith excitedly told Addison.

“Good girl, you remembered what I said about throwing the last punch.” Addison chuckled proudly. “Is your lip okay?”

“Yeah, it bled a little bit, but nowhere near as much as Jamie’s nose.” Meredith giggled. “Thank you for teaching me how to punch. Everyone was calling him a sissy because he got beat up by a girl. I don’t think he’ll be messing with me again.”

“I’ll always help you Meri, you’re my baby sister.” Addison smiled. “I gotta go so I can get ready for class, but I’ll call you at bedtime. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Meredith beamed. 

Chapter Text

A now twelve year old Meredith was anxiously sitting by the living room window for her big sister to come home for the first time since leaving for medical school in New York two months earlier. Despite the distance, Addison was never far from her little sister’s thoughts and called her every night before bed. This particular weekend, Addison was bringing her new boyfriend home to meet her family including Archer who was also visiting.

“What do we know about this guy?” Archer scratched the back of his neck.

“His name is Mark and they met on the first day of their anatomy class. He’s also a freshman and apparently immediately tried to woo Addie since he laid eyes on her. He’s sarcastic and funny and much more laid back than she is.” Bizzy explained.

“Everyone is more laid back than Addie.” Archer rolled his eyes. “What if he’s a tool?”

“As far as I’m concerned, as long as he manages to pass the Meredith test, he’s okay in my book.” The Captain chuckled. “Remember the last guy Addie brought home? Mer had him crying in less than five minutes.”

“That was hilarious.” Archer snorted. “The guy was over six feet tall yet was scared of a ten year old.”

“Our Mer can be a little scary when it comes to protecting Addie.” Bizzy added with a chuckle.

“You guys know that I can hear you, right?” Meredith turned to face her family with a raised eyebrow. “As long as Mark understands his place in Addie’s life he and I will get along great.” She shrugged.

“And where exactly is his place?” Archer smirked.

“Second to me, obviously.” Meredith smirked. “If he can’t handle that then he doesn’t deserve Addie’s attention.” She jumped up when Mark and Addison’s rental car pulled into the driveway. “Time for his first test.” The little girl giggled and threw open the front door. “Addie!” She ran across the yard and to the driveway.

“Meri! Get over here!” Addison tossed her duffle bag into Mark’s arms and opened her arms to catch Meredith. “Has it really only been two months? I feel like you’re an entire foot taller!”

“I might be. I eat all my vegetables.” Meredith joked. “You’re here until Monday morning, right?”

“That’s right!” Addison beamed. “And I cannot wait to bake cookies and watch movies and do all the things that you and I haven’t been able to do since I left.”

“Neither can I.” Meredith hugged Addison tightly. “I really missed you.”

“I really missed you too.” Addison hummed and kissed the top of Meredith’s head. “Now, there’s someone that I want you to meet and I really like this one, so try not to make him cry.” She chuckled.

“Do you think this one can pass the interview?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“I hope so.” Addison hummed and turned to Mark. “Mark, this is my baby sister Meredith. Meredith, this is Mark, my boyfriend.”

“Hi Meredith, Addie talks about you all the time.” Mark smiled. “It’s great to finally meet you.”

“I know it is.” Meredith smiled. “Alright, let’s go inside. Time to answer some questions, Mark.”

“You weren’t kidding, I’m a little afraid of her.” Mark whispered to Addison as they followed Meredith towards the front door.

“You should be, I taught her everything she knows.” Addison smirked as she interlocked her fingers with Mark’s. “Just be yourself and everything will be okay.” They walked into the house and after introducing Mark to her parents and brother, the redhead guided him to the couch. Meredith was sitting on the coffee table with a smirk on her face as she leaned into Mark’s personal space.

“So Mark, tell me what about my sister made you like her?” Meredith asked. “I’ll give you a hint, her being pretty is not a valid answer.”

“She is pretty, but that’s actually not what drew me to her.” Mark chuckled. “We were sitting next to each other in anatomy class and the teacher told us something. Of course we all believed them because they were the teacher and therefore smarter than us, but Addie raised her hand and said that the teacher was wrong. She opened her textbook and proved that the teacher was wrong and completely embarrassed them. I guess I found that charming.”

“Good answer.” Meredith hummed. “Next question, how do you feel about always coming second in Addie’s life because no matter what, I will be first.”

“Addie actually warned me about that when I first asked her out.” Mark admitted. “She said that her little sister will always be her top priority and if I couldn’t handle being second, then not to waste her time. I’m going to be honest with you Meredith, I’m an only child and my parents weren’t around often so I grew up alone. When Addie told me about how close the two of you are, it actually made me like her more because I always wanted a sibling that I could have that kind of bond with. I would never want to come between you and your sister, in fact I was thinking the three of us could go ice skating this weekend, if you would want.”

“I like him.” Meredith beamed and Addison kissed Mark’s cheek. “Unfortunately though, we’re not done. How do you feel about kids? Because Addie wants kids and I would love to be an aunt and the only way I’ll achieve that with Archer is if he stops being such a player and actually settles down, which is not likely.” She rolled her eyes as Archer stood off to the side with an amused grin on his face.

“Even if I made you an aunt, you would still prefer Addie’s kids to mine.” Archer snorted.

“Very true.” Meredith giggled. “So Mark, do you want kids?”

“Not anytime soon, but yes.” Mark nodded. “I would love to be a dad someday. What’s the next question?”

“Did Addie warn you that you’ll be sleeping in the guest room since she and I will be having sleepovers in her room?” Meredith smiled.

“She did.” Mark chuckled. “Like I said, I don’t want to come in between you and Addie, I’m just hoping that the three of us can spend time together as well, but of course I respect that you guys will want to spend time alone as well.”

“You are a smooth talker, I can see why my sister is so crazy about you.” Meredith giggled as Addison’s eyes widened.

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery!” Addison gasped. “I cannot wait until you start dating so I can terrorize everyone that you bring home.”

“Really? Because there is this girl in my class that I think is really cute. Maybe I’ll ask her to be my valentine.” Meredith smirked teasingly while Addison went pale.

“On second thought, you’re never dating.” Addison tapped her lap and Meredith happily sat down with her big sister. “So did Mark pass the first barrier?” She whispered in the little girl’s ear. The girl nodded and stood up.

“Mark, why don’t Addie and I show you to your room and then you can rest after the flight while Addie and I catch up?” Meredith offered as she stood up and started walking towards the stairs.

“That sounds great to me Meredith.” Mark agreed as he stood up and took Addison’s hand. Once the three were upstairs, Archer, Bizzy, and The Captain all exchanged shocked glances.

“Did that really just happen?” Bizzy asked with an inquisitive expression on her face. “Did Mer really approve of Addison’s boyfriend?”

“She did.” The Captain nodded. “I guess anything is possible.”

“Let’s see if he lasts the entire weekend.” Archer laughed.

Later that afternoon Addison was laying in the guest room with Mark while Meredith went to her weekly therapy session. He was absentmindedly playing with her red hair while lost in his thoughts. “What are you thinking about so deeply?” The redhead glanced up at him.

“Honestly, I’m thinking about Meredith.” Mark confessed. “I know that I’ve only known her for a few hours, but she seems like a really special kid. I can see why you’re so protective of her.”

“She is really special.” Addison hummed. “I’ll never forget when I first found out about her. The Captain said he had to talk to my mom alone and asked me to go to my room. I was fifteen and quite nosey, so after a few minutes I opened my bedroom door and listened to their conversation. I didn’t even register that he cheated on Bizzy because I was so excited to finally have a sister, and then when I did register it I didn’t really care because Bizzy already forgave him and even if cheating is wrong, his cheating was why I was getting a sister.”

“She was five when she came to live with you?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, but the moment I met her I felt like I had always known her.” Addison smiled softly.

“Is it okay to ask what happened to her birth mother?” Mark questioned hesitantly. The twenty two year old didn’t want to overstep, but he couldn’t help but be curious.

“She killed herself.” Addison answered shortly as she sat up, tears welling up in her eyes. “Mer found her body and called 911, but she had been dead for hours at that point. She never really talks about it, as far as she’s concerned Bizzy is her mother and Bizzy absolutely adores Meredith, she even adopted her so legally her parents are Bizzy and The Captain. She’s a Forbes Montgomery, even if Bizzy didn’t carry and give birth to her. She’s still Meredith’s mother.” Mark sat up and pulled the redhead into his arms as she quietly wept.

“I didn’t mean to upset you Addie, I’m sorry for asking.” Mark apologized and pressed a kiss to Addison’s hair. “She seems to be doing really well despite the trauma.”

“When she first came to live with us she didn’t really talk to anyone but me. Sometimes she would, but most of her communication went through me.” Addison sighed. “She’s been in therapy ever since and it helped her open up. I just can’t help but worry about her. She’s always been my little shadow. When she was eight she was getting bullied at school, so I taught her how to throw a punch. I told her never to throw the first punch, but to always throw the last one. She went to school that Monday and this little shit punched her and split her lip, so she punched him in the eye and then when he tried to punch her again, she punched him in the nose and when it started bleeding it ended the fight.” She chuckled at the memory. “Bizzy said the kid had a nice shiner when she went to pick Mer up from school. She tried to be strict and tell Mer that it’s not okay to punch people, but I think even she was proud of her. Meredith was such a shy and timid child who would let people walk all over her, but that time she stood up for herself.”

“You taught her how to stand up for herself, you should be proud of yourself.” Mark wrapped his arms loosely around Addison and kissed her temple. “She doesn’t seem timid at all now.”

“She can be at times, but she’s got such a spunky personality now that it’s rare that her shy qualities come out.” Addison smiled proudly. “I cannot believe it’s been seven years since she came to live here, I’ve missed her so much these past two months. It’s the longest that we’ve ever been apart. I know that sometimes I can be annoying when I interrupt our dates to call her at bedtime, but she needs consistency and I love her too much not to give her that. Thank you for being so understanding.” She turned to kiss Mark softly.

“I really did like you even more when you told me that Meredith would always be your priority and that you guys were incredibly close. I wasn’t just saying that to get on her good side.” Mark confessed with a chuckle. “I do want to get to know her better and do things together with all three of us. You're important to me Addison and she’s important to you so I want to know her. This weekend is about me getting to know you’re family and I think they’ve all made it pretty clear that they’ll like me if Meredith likes me.”

“She’s a really good judge of character and she doesn’t often like my boyfriends.” Addison laughed. “When I was seventeen I was dating this guy who seemed great, but Mer hated him. Honestly I just thought that she was scared of losing me to him, but she said that she wasn’t because she knew she could never lose me, she just didn’t like him. There was just something about him that didn’t sit right with her. Well it turns out that he had been cheating on me the entire time that we were together and was only with me because I was rich. After that, none of us ever doubted Meredith again. If she doesn’t like someone, there’s always a good reason. She just tends to see things that we don’t.”

“He sounds like a jackass and he definitely did not deserve you.” Mark scoffed as Meredith knocked on the door. “Come in!” The young girl opened the door with a smile, but there were obvious tear stains on her cheeks.

“Come here Meri.” Addison untangled herself from Mark and opened her arms. Meredith ran into them and melted into her older sister’s arms. “Tough appointment?”

“Yeah.” Meredith nodded. “Do you think Mark would want to watch scary movies with us?” She whispered so only Addison would hear her.

“Do you want me to ask him, or do you want to?” Addison asked.

“I will.” Meredith sat up and wiped her face with the back of her hand and looked at Mark. “Do you want to watch scary movies with me and Addie tonight?”

“I would love to.” Mark smiled. “Are you guys baking cookies first?”

“We are.” Meredith beamed. “You can help us if you promise not to eat all of the cookie dough.” She giggled.

“I promise.” Mark laughed. “I’ll just eat most of it.” Addison lightly slapped him upside of the head.

“Idiot.” Addison chuckled. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” She kissed him softly while Meredith scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“Gross.” Meredith groaned. “Bizzy and I picked up pizza for dinner, but now I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

“As if you would ever lose your appetite for pizza.” Addison rolled her eyes and tickled Meredith’s side. “Do you want to talk about your appointment? I’m sure Bizzy would let us eat in my room if you do.”

“Just us?” Meredith bit her lip.

“Of course.” Addison promised. “Mark can get to know Archer, Bizzy, and The Captain while we talk.”

“Okay.” Meredith nodded. “Thanks Addie.” The three walked downstairs and after Addison explained to Bizzy what was going on she and Meredith each put two slices of extra cheese pizza on a plate and went back upstairs. They laid side by side in the redhead’s bed as they silently ate, giving the blonde time to gather her thoughts. “I‘ve been having nightmares again.” Meredith confessed quietly. “I tend to wake up crying and it takes me a second to realize that I’m not five years old and about to find my mother’s dead body in the kitchen.”

“I’m sorry Meri.” Addison said softly as she placed her plate aside and tapped her lap. Meredith snuggled into her older sister’s arm, pizza forgotten as she started crying. “I’m sorry that I haven’t been here.”

“You’re going to one of the best medical schools to achieve your dream of being one of the best surgeons.” Meredith muttered. “You don’t have to apologize for that. I would have told you about the nightmares, but you probably would have dropped everything to come check on me and I was fine.”

“You’re always fine.” Addison sighed as she carded a hand through Meredith’s hair. “Do Bizzy and The Captain know about the nightmares?”

“Yeah. I asked them not to tell you.” Meredith confessed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” Addison dropped a kiss to the crown of Meredith’s head. “You’re right, I would have been on the next plane home to see for myself that you were okay. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a tad bit protective of you.”

“No kidding.” Meredith giggled. “I’m happy you’re home for the weekend and I’m happy that your boyfriend isn’t an idiot this time. I actually like him. Weird, right?”

“It is a little weird.” Addison chuckled. “I’m not used to you liking my boyfriends.”

“You typically only date losers. Of course I don’t like them.” Meredith laughed and Addison rolled her eyes. “There really is a girl in my class that I think is cute, is it weird that I find girls cute but not boys?”

“It’s not weird, love is love and I will support you no matter who you love, as long as they’re worthy of you.” Addison assured her little sister.

“I love you, Addie.” Meredith snuggled closer to Addison.

“I love you too Meri, I’ve loved you since that first day we met and every day I just love you more. My little shadow.” Addison smiled warmly. “Should we finish eating so we can bake cookies and then watch scary movies?”

“Yes.” Meredith nodded as she climbed out of Addison’s lap and grabbed her plate again. “Do you think Archer is terrorizing Mark?”

“Probably.” Addison laughed. “Although I think everyone knows that the only opinion that truly matters to me is your opinion.”

“That’s because I’m always right.” Meredith smirked.

“You do have a remarkable judge of character.” Addison hummed. “I can’t believe you asked Mark if he wants kids.”

“I feel that it’s an important thing to know!” Meredith defended with a giggle. “Plus I like to intimidate people.”

“I wonder where you learned that from.” Addison smirked.

“Not a clue.” Meredith giggled with a shrug.

Four years later Meredith, now sixteen, was sitting in the dressing room with Addison as the redhead paced back and forth in her wedding dress. “Addie you’re going to sweat through your makeup. You need to breathe.”

“I just can’t believe that I’m actually getting married.” Addison sighed as she turned to face Meredith. “We like him, right?”

“We love him.” Meredith smiled, and it was true. Over the past four years Mark had become like another older brother to Meredith and she loved how he treated Addison. The man absolutely adored and doted on the redhead and true to his word, never felt threatened by the close bond between the sisters or tried to come in between them. “I wouldn’t want anyone else as my brother in law.”

“Okay.” Addison smiled and nodded. “I can do this.”

“You sound like me at my high school graduation two weeks ago.” Meredith giggled. “Only I had a reason to be nervous, considering I graduated two years early.”

“That’s because my baby sister is a genius.” Addison chuckled with a proud smile. “So you’re going to college in New York?”

“Gotta stay close to you and Mark and make sure you’re behaving yourselves.” Meredith shrugged with a small smile. “Plus I’ve missed you these past few years.”

“I’ve missed you too Meri.” Addison walked over and hugged Meredith. “You know, if you don’t want to live in a dorm you can come live with me and Mark.”

“Does Mark know that you’re offering your guest room up to your little sister?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Mark brought it up before I even got the chance.” Addison confessed.

“I knew there was a reason I liked him.” Meredith beamed. “You both just want to make sure that I don’t get myself into trouble, don’t you?”

“That might be part of it.” Addison laughed. The Captain walked in and gasped when he saw Addison.

“Wow, you look exquisite.” The Captain smiled. “And so does your maid of honor.” He winked at Meredith.

“Thank you.” Addison beamed. “Is it time?”

“It’s time.” The Captain nodded. “I wouldn’t want to give you away to anyone other than Mark. He’s a good man and he’s been good to you and to your little shadow.”

“He has to be good to me. Addie wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t.” Meredith giggled. “I’m gonna go, try not to trip on your way down the aisle.”

“I won’t, don’t you trip either.” Addison chuckled as Meredith left the dressing room. The blonde made her way down the aisle, closely followed by The Captain and Addison. She watched the ceremony with tears in her eyes. She knew that even though her sister was getting married, that she wasn’t losing her. They were too close, too bonded. The sisters would always be as close as they had always been, no matter what came their way and Mark was happy to be along for the ride.

Chapter Text

Meredith was now twenty four years old and had just left the intern mixer at the hospital early and found refuge in the bar across the street. She sighed as she wondered what she was thinking when she decided to come back to Seattle and do her internship at the hospital that her biological mother used to work at, the hospital that she was taken to after she had called 911 when she found Ellis’ body. Of course Addison refused to let her come on her own, refused to let her face that trauma by herself so she and Mark had left New York and joined her in Seattle. She told herself that the reason that she had come back was because what happened didn’t matter, Ellis wasn’t her mother and truthfully she barely remembered her, so why did it matter that she killed herself? She told her sister that she didn’t attribute Seattle with trauma and instead with hope because Seattle is where she met Addison and The Captain for the first time, and maybe that was partly true, but as she stood in the hospital in her black dress all she could think about was the last time she was there.

She may not remember Ellis alive, but the memory of finding the woman’s dead body was still fresh in her mind almost twenty years later and she didn’t think that image would ever go away. Meredith went on to have a happy life full of both love and opportunities, but she was still haunted by what had happened when she was just five years old and the true reason that she wanted to come back to Seattle was because she wanted to prove to herself that she was no longer that traumatized child. Now she was sitting at a random bar wondering if this was a horrible idea because she didn’t even make it through an hour of the mixer before she couldn’t stand being there and tomorrow she was supposed to do a forty eight hour shift. She assured both her sister and brother in law that she was fine and would see them at home, but as soon as she was out of their sight she bolted out of the hospital as if it were on fire.

Meredith was brought out of her thoughts by the bartender placing a shot glass down in front of her. “Straight tequila? Really? You’re going to be sorry in the morning.”

“I’m always sorry in the morning, but tomorrow I start my first day at work, so keep them coming.” Meredith flashed the bartender a wry smile before downing the shot without even a wince.

“Impressive.” A cute blonde smiled at Meredith as the blonde waved over the bartender for her second shot. “So, is this a good place to hang out?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been here before.” Meredith shrugged absentmindedly as she picked up her second shot and downed it with zero hesitation.

“Neither have I, it’s my first time in Seattle. I got a job here so…” The blonde snorted when she realized that Meredith was ignoring her. “Ah, you’re ignoring me.”

“I’m trying to.” Meredith hummed.

“You shouldn't ignore me.” The blonde smiled as Meredith turned her head towards her.

“And why is that?” Meredith raised a singular eyebrow with a smirk dancing on her lips.

“Because I’m someone that you need to get to know to love.” The blonde smiled with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

“So if I know you, I’ll love you?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Definitely.” The blonde nodded.

“You really like yourself, huh?” Meredith laughed.

“Just trying to hide my pain.” The blonde sighed as she took a sip of her drink. “So what’s your story?”

“I don’t have a story. I’m just a girl in a bar.” Meredith threw back another shot of tequila.

“Isn’t that a coincidence? I’m also just a girl in a bar.” The blonde extended her hand towards Meredith. “I’m Arizona.”

“Meredith.” Meredith shook Arizona’s hand and immediately felt shocks as every nerve in her hand came to life. “Any chance you have a place that we could go to be alone?”

“You’re a bold one.” Arizona smirked. “I like that.”

“So would that be a yes?” Meredith giggled.

“It would.” Arizona chuckled. After they each settled their tabs, Meredith got in her car and followed Arizona to her apartment. “So this is it.” She gestured around the small one bedroom apartment. “I know it’s not much.”

“It’s perfect.” Meredith pushed Arizona up against the wall and kissed her softly. “At least it’s your own, I live with my sister and brother in law, which I don’t mind too much, but sometimes it would be nice if I could bring someone home without my sister giving them the third degree.”

“I take it that your sister is protective?” Arizona chuckled with a slight moan as Meredith moved to kiss her neck.

“That’s an understatement.” Meredith giggled against Arizona’s pulse point. “I can’t really complain though because I’m also protective of her and anytime she brought a guy home I would practically interrogate him. Now, do you want to keep asking about my sister or would you prefer we move this to the bedroom?”

“Definitely the bedroom.” Arizona grabbed Meredith’s face and pulled her into a hungry kiss as she blindly guided her to the bedroom and pushed her down on the bed.

Meredith woke up around 1am to find Arizona sleeping. She carefully got out of bed, careful not to wake the other blonde and quickly got dressed. After leaving a note thanking her for a nice night with her phone number at the bottom, she quietly left the apartment and drove to the house she was sharing with Addison and Mark. When she pulled into the driveway, Meredith realized that her plan to sneak in undetected wouldn’t work as not only was the living room light on, but she could clearly see her sister's silhouette pacing back and forth. Guilt overcame her as she checked her cell phone and found numerous missed calls and text messages from both Addison and Mark. With a sigh, the blonde got out of her car and walked up to the front door and entered the house.

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery you better have a good explanation of why you were not answering your phone.” Addison turned to the front door with her hands on her hips and her eyebrow raised.

“I went to the bar across the street from the hospital and I met someone, so we ended up going back to her place and I had my phone on silent so we wouldn’t be interrupted.” Meredith explained as she bit her lip and stared at her feet.

“So I’ve been sitting here for hours wondering if you were dead in a ditch and you were off screwing some woman that you met in a bar?” Addison laughed humorously. “Seriously Meri?”

“I’m sorry.” Meredith looked up with tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill over. “I didn’t want to worry you, I just.”

“Why don’t you guys sit down and I’ll make you some tea?” Mark suggested. Meredith nodded and moved over to the couch with Addison soon following her. Once her husband had disappeared into the kitchen, the redhead turned to her little sister with a softened expression.

“Talk to me.” Addison’s voice was soft and gentle as she reached over to hold Meredith’s hand. “Why did you leave the mixer early?”

“I was overwhelmed.” Meredith admitted. “The last time I was in that hospital I was covered in Ellis’ blood. I know I told you that what happened didn’t bother me, but it does.”

“I know it does, if it didn’t I would be concerned. What happened when you were five isn’t just something that goes away. Even if you don’t consider Ellis your mother, it’s still traumatic to find a dead body.” Addison wiped Meredith’s tears away with the pad of her thumb.

“I thought I could do this, but I really don’t know if I can.” Meredith’s voice cracked. “How am I supposed to do a forty eight hour shift when after one hour I felt like I was suffocating?”

“Meri, you can do anything you set your mind to.” Addison smiled. “You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Do you really think I wouldn’t have put up more of a fight if I truly didn’t think you could handle coming back to Seattle?”

“I guess that’s true.” Meredith muttered. “I just wanted to prove to myself that I’m not that same traumatized five year old that I was when we met.”

“You’re not. You have come so far since then and I couldn’t be more proud of you.” Addison looked up when Mark walked in with two mugs of tea and put them down on the coffee table.

“Is this a sister talk or do you have room for your goofy brother in law who was ready to put a missing persons report out for you?” Mark chuckled.

“You can stay.” Meredith flashed Mark a small smile as she picked up her mug of tea. “You uprooted your life because my sister is an overprotective psychopath so you’ve earned the right to stay.”

“Hey!” Addison slapped Meredith’s leg playfully and grabbed her mug of tea while Mark slipped onto the couch behind her. She leaned against her husband while she watched her sister carefully. “You act like Mark hasn’t become just as protective of you, I had to stop him from calling the police when we couldn’t get in touch with you.”

“The only reason that you didn’t want to call the police was because you had already decided that she was dead and you didn’t want to be proven right.” Mark snorted.

“You’re both insane.” Meredith giggled. “I really am sorry for worrying you, I just had to get out of there. When I went to the bar I didn’t intend on meeting anyone, I actually tried to ignore her but she wouldn’t let me. Honestly I’m happy that she wouldn’t let me ignore her because she was different from anyone I’ve ever met, a good different.”

“Ooh Mer’s in love.” Mark teased while Meredith broke out into a furious blush. “When do we get to meet her, it’s been far too long since I’ve gotten to watch Addie interrogate a potential love interest of yours.”

“Addie, you may become a widow soon.” Meredith groaned.

“At least wait to kill him until he gets me pregnant.” Addison laughed. “I want a baby before I’m a widow.”

“Deal.” Meredith smiled as she took a sip of her tea. “I take it this conversation isn’t over?”

“No, it’s not.” Addison sighed. “Was it the building that triggered you or something else?”

“Am I missing something? Believe it or not, I don’t eavesdrop on your conversation when I’m in the kitchen.” Mark smirked. “Isn’t that a good reason to keep me alive? Addie’s next husband may be a nosey loser.”

“I’ll keep you alive for now.” Meredith took another sip of tea. “You know about my birth mother, right?”

“Not much, but yeah I know what happened.” Mark nodded.

“Well Seattle Grace is where she worked and where I was brought after I called 911.” Meredith explained. “I was trying to prove to myself that her killing herself didn’t matter and that I’m not the same traumatized kid that I was when I first met Addie, and I decided to do that by coming back to Seattle and working at Seattle Grace, but an hour into the mixer I saw someone and felt like I was suffocating.”

“I take it that you didn’t realize that Richard Webber still worked there?” Addison guessed with a sympathetic smile.

“No, I didn’t.” Meredith sighed. “He and Ellis were friends and he was there that day, now he’s my boss?” Meredith put her mug down on the table and covered her face as she started crying again. She felt herself being pulled into her sister’s arms and allowed herself to melt into Addison’s protective embrace.

“Just let it out, you’re okay, everything’s okay.” Addison rubbed soft circles into Meredith’s back while the blonde sobbed painfully. “It’s not happening now, it’s over, you’re safe. You’re safe Meri, my little shadow, you’re safe.”

“I’m safe.” Meredith echoed quietly when her sobs began to calm down until finally coming to a stop. She untangled herself from Addison and wiped herself from her sister before standing up. “I should go to bed since I have to be at work at 5am, unlike you guys who don’t have to be there until 6am.” She rolled her eyes playfully as she walked towards the stairs. “I love you guys, goodnight.”

“Love you Mer!” Mark called after Meredith as she began climbing the stairs.

“I love you too Meri, get some sleep!” Addison waited until she heard Meredith’s bedroom close before turning to look at Mark. “I’m worried about her.”

“So am I, but Mer’s strong, she’ll be okay.” Mark tilted Addison’s chin up and kissed her lips softly. “We should get some sleep too.”

“Okay.” Addison nodded and took hers and Meredith’s mugs to the kitchen before turning to follow Mark up the stairs. She stopped by her sister's bedroom door when she heard her crying and looked at her husband with a pleading expression. He nodded with a smile and went into their bedroom alone. Addison knocked on the door. “Meri?”

“I’m fine!” Meredith called back as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand just as Addison was opening the door.

“Yeah, you certainly sound fine.” Addison snorted as she walked over to Meredith’s bed and laid down. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

“Sleepover?” Meredith smiled as she laid down next to Addison and pulled the blanket over them before turning her bedside lamp off.

“Sleepover.” Addison hummed as she shut her eyes. “You have to be up in two hours, I’d make the most of it.”

“Good thing I can still function well with barely any sleep.” Meredith giggled as she closed her eyes. “Thanks for always being here for me.”

“You’re my little shadow, I’ll always take care of you.” Addison smiled sleepily. They both fell asleep, but it wasn’t long until Meredith’s alarm went off and woke them both up. “Is it really already time to get up?” The redhead groaned.

“It is for me, why don’t you go climb in bed with Mark?” Meredith suggested with a yawn as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and got out of bed.

“And miss seeing my baby sister when she leaves for her first day of work as a doctor?” Addison smiled as she sat up. “Not a chance.”

“You are not going to take a picture of me like it’s the first day of school, right?” Meredith looked at Addison as the redhead just smirked in response. “Addie!”

“Don’t worry, no pictures until you get your doctor's coat later.” Addison chuckled. “I’m going to go start coffee.”

“You’re an angel!” Meredith watched as Addison climbed out of bed and walked out of the bedroom.

“I know!” Addison yelled over her shoulder as she walked towards the stairs. Meredith quickly got her clothes for the day before going into the bathroom and taking a shower. Once she was dressed and ready to go she ran down the stairs to the kitchen where her sister was standing by the counter drinking a mug of coffee. The redhead pushed a travel mug towards her. “Here, that should last you at least an hour the way you drink coffee.”

“Have I ever mentioned that I love you?” Meredith took a sip of the coffee, her eyes closing as she savored the flavor.

“Once or twice.” Addison chuckled as she took a sip out of her mug and glanced at the clock. “You should get going, but first I need you to listen to me when I tell you how proud I am of you. Because I am so fucking proud of my sweet baby sister, my little shadow, my Meri.” She smiled and cupped Meredith’s cheek with one hand. “You have come so far since you first came to live with us and there is nothing that you cannot handle, so don’t psych yourself out. You are a Forbes Montgomery and we are an indestructible bunch.”

“Thanks Addie.” Meredith smiled and embraced Addison tightly. “You’re not going to call me your little shadow around the hospital, are you? I love the nickname, but some of the other interns may be assholes and I would rather not explain how I used to follow you around everywhere as a child.”

“How about I just call you Shadow?” Addison suggested. “Well, when I’m not being forced to call you Dr. Montgomery, that is.”

“Shadow sounds great, that I can explain by saying I’m just a little dark and twisty.” Meredith beamed. “It’s going to be weird calling you Dr. Montgomery-Sloan when typically I call you Addie.” She giggled. “And calling Mark Dr. Sloan instead of buttmunch? That’s going to be really weird.”

“I’m sure all three of us will adjust.” Addison kissed Meredith’s forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Meredith waved as she ran towards the front door. Mark walked down the stairs and yawned. He chuckled when he saw his sister in law running towards her car and then walked into the kitchen and kissed Addison good morning.

“How was your sleepover?” Mark asked as Addison poured him a mug of coffee and put his favorite creamer in it.

“She fell right to sleep and didn’t wake up screaming, so I’d call it a success.” Addison passed him the mug and kissed him again. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

“She’s my little sister, I care about her and if I have to sleep alone sometimes so she sleeps soundly then I sleep alone sometimes.” Mark shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee.

“I picked a good one.” Addison chuckled. “Most men would have ran off when they realized I wasn’t joking when I said that my little sister was my top priority. Meanwhile, my close relationship with Mer is one of the reasons you love me so much.”

“That it is.” Mark hummed. “Join me for a shower? Maybe we’ll even make a baby.” He playfully spanked Addison’s behind before running towards the stairs.

“Man child!” Addison laughed as she chased after Mark and kissed him as they reached the top of the stairs. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Mark tucked Addison's hair behind her ears. “Now about that shower.” He smirked and picked his wife up and carried her into the bathroom in their bedroom.

Meanwhile Meredith was standing in an OR listening to Richard’s speech and trying to push the knot building in her stomach away. Once he finished she followed the other interns to the locker room and changed into a pair of scrubs. She looked around at all the other interns and sighed. “Only six women out of twenty? What is this? 1970 or something?”

“Yeah I hear one of them’s a model.” The brunette at the locker next to Meredith rolled her eyes. “Seriously, like that’s going to help with the respect thing?”

“You’re Cristina, right?” Meredith asked with a smile as she adjusted the collar of her doctor’s coat.

“Yeah. And you’re Meredith?” Meredith nodded in response. “Which resident did you get assigned to? I got Bailey.”

“The Nazi?” Meredith raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, me too.”

“You got the Nazi? So did I, at least we’ll be tortured together. I’m George O’Malley, uh we met at the mixer last night, you had a black dress with a slit up the side, strappy sandals…” George rambled while Meredith and Cristina looked at each other with amused expressions. “Great, now you think I’m gay. I’m not gay.”

“I am!” Meredith raised her hand. “Do you have a problem with gay people?” She raised an eyebrow and stared at George with intense eyes.

“What? No of… of course not. Gay people are awesome!” George’s eyes widened. “Is it hot in here?” Meredith continued glaring at him intently for a moment longer before she started laughing.

“The Satan glare works every time.” Meredith giggled. “You should have seen your face.”

“The Satan glare?” George looked at Meredith with furrowed brows.

“I learned it from my sister, the hospital she worked at in New York she was nicknamed Satan because she could make a grown man cry with just a look.” Meredith explained. “I’m pretty sure she plans on continuing scaring her coworkers here as well.”

“Your sister works here?” Cristina tilted her head slightly. “Anyone we may have heard of?”

“Oh you’ve heard of her.” Meredith smirked. “Addison Forbes Montgomery-Sloan.”

“Addison Forbes Montgomery-Sloan is your sister?!” A tall blonde turned to face Meredith. “I’m a huge fan of her work!”

“You’re the model, aren’t you?” Cristina chuckled.

“I prefer Izzie.” Izzie rolled her eyes as she turned back to Meredith. “So Addison Montgomery-Sloan is your sister?”

“She is.” Meredith nodded. “She and her husband moved here with me when I got accepted to the intern program.”

“Wait, is her husband Mark Sloan, the plastic surgeon?” A guy with a short brown buzzcut walked over to them.

“He is.” Meredith nodded.

“Who are these people? I’ve never heard of them.” George asked while everyone turned and looked at him like he was crazy.

“Did you go to med school in Mexico or something?” Cristina snarked. “They’re only medical royalty.”

“So that would make you a princess.” The guy with the buzzcut smirked at Meredith who just rolled her eyes.

“And you are?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Alex Karev. Man, I can’t believe that Mark Sloan is your brother in law. I’m going to be a plastic surgeon.” Alex grinned.

“O’Malley, Yang, Montgomery, Stevens, Karev.” A doctor called out. “Dr. Bailey is waiting for you at the end of the hall. The group walked down the hall and all looked shocked when the only person there was a short woman.

“That’s the Nazi?” Cristina whispered.

“I thought the Nazi would be a guy.” George added.

“I thought the Nazi would be… the Nazi.” Meredith scratched the back of her neck.

“Maybe it’s professional jealousy. Maybe she’s brilliant, and they call her the Nazi because they’re jealous. Maybe she’s nice.” Izzie suggested.

“Yeah, you’re definitely the model.” Alex chuckled and patted Izzie on the shoulder as they walked up to Bailey.

“I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you and that’s not gonna change.” Bailey points to a bench with stuff on top of it. “Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty eight hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop and don’t complain!” She opened a door to a room with two sets of bunk beds. “On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three. If I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?” Meredith raised her hand. “Yes?”

“You said five rules, that was only four.” Meredith replied as Bailey’s pager went off.

“Rule number five. When I move, you move.” Bailey ran down the hall with her five interns following close behind. They ran to the ambulance bay with a gurney. “What do we got?”

“Liam Tyler, five year old male, intermittent seizures over the past week. Started grand mal seizing as we pulled in.” The paramedic explained as they moved Liam onto the stretcher.

“All right, get him on her side! Montgomery, ten milligrams Diazepam.” Bailey ordered. Meredith nodded and injected the diazepam into Liam’s IV and after a short moment, he stopped seizing.

“What do we got?” Arizona asked as she walked in the room. Meredith’s eyes widened as she turned to focus on Liam.

“Montgomery?” Bailey prompted.

“Liam Tyler, age five, new onset of seizures over the past week.” Meredith recited as she looked up at Arizona who was just as shocked to see her.

“Alright, where’s the mother?” Arizona asked.

“Waiting room.” Cristina filled in.

“Okay, well I’m Dr. Robbins.” Arizona introduced herself. “I’m going to need an intern.”

“Montgomery.” Bailey decided as she led the rest of her interns out of the room.

“Alright Dr. Montgomery, take some blood. I’m going to go talk to the mother and I’ll be back shortly.” Arizona directed before walking out of the room. Meredith took blood and sent it off to the lab and got back to Liam’s room at the same time as Arizona, almost bumping into her. “Sorry, Dr. Montgomery.”

“It was my fault.” Meredith blushed. “What did Liam’s mother say?”

“She said that the seizures started last week and that he’s been to both Mercy West and Seattle Pres in that time so I called for his records and neither hospital believes that this child has seizures.” Arizona explained. “Apparently he’s been sick since birth and even has a feeding tube, which again both hospitals had suspicions about all the illnesses that she says her son has.”

“He definitely had a seizure today.” Meredith sighed. “He was seizing when the ambulance got here.” Liam started to stir and grabbed his head in pain. “Liam, you’re okay, you’re at the hospital.”

“Hurts.” Liam whimpered. “Thirsty.”

“Liam my name is Dr. Robbins, I’m going to get you some medicine for your headache, but we need to wait on some test results before you can have anything to drink.” Arizona smiled reassuringly at Liam. “Can you tell me the last thing that you remember?”

“Mommy said I was sick and had to go to the hospital and called 911, then she fed me through my tube.” Liam said in a daze. “Hurts.”

“Dr. Montgomery, give him some IV Motrin.” Arizona ordered. Meredith quickly did as told. “You set the blood off to the lab?”

“Yes, Dr. Robbins.” Meredith nodded.

“Okay, I do not want you to leave Liam alone for even a second. When you get paged for the results, have a nurse sit in here while you go get them and then bring them to me immediately.” Arizona directed. “Understood?”

“Understood.” Meredith nodded.

“Okay, I’m going to let his mom come back and sit with him, but do not leave them alone. Not until we have those labs.” Arizona sighed as she walked out of the room. Liam’s mom came into the room shortly afterwards and Meredith couldn’t help but watch them together as she made herself look busy. When she was paged she stepped to the doorway and waved over a nurse, keeping one eye on Liam the entire time.

“I have to go get his lab results, but Dr. Robbins doesn’t want him left alone and told me to have a nurse sit in with him and his mother, are you available?” Meredith asked the nurse.

“Yes, she already warned me. I’m Olivia, by the way.” Olivia smiled.

“I’m Meredith.” Meredith smiled back. “Thank you.” She took off running and got the lab results and then set off in search of Arizona, soon finding her in her office. “Liam’s results.” She held them out to the attending.

“Thank you.” Arizona looked over them. “Shit, I was hoping that I was wrong.”

“What’s going on?” Meredith frowned.

“His sodium, it’s 165.” Arizona sighed. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but he has a feeding tube and high sodium levels resulting in seizures.”

“You think his mother did this?” Meredith’s eyes widened.

“Unfortunately it’s more common than you would think, that’s why I didn’t want you to leave them alone.” Arizona explained. “I’m going to call social services and then talk to the chief, can you sit in there until I get back?”

“I don’t think I can be on this case.” Meredith looked down at her feet.

“Why?” Arizona asked. “If it’s because we slept together, I can act professionally if you can.”

“It’s not that, I just…” Meredith swallowed roughly. “I can’t be on this case.”

“Okay.” Arizona nodded. “Well, you can go to your resident and request reassignment. I know it can be tough with kids, peds is hardcore.”

“Thanks.” Meredith took off running in hopes of making it to the bathroom before she broke down crying, but she ran straight into Addison.

“Woah, Meri, careful.” Addison steadied Meredith and immediately noticed the tears fighting to spill over. “Come on.” She guided her sister down the hall to her office and locked the door behind them. “What’s going on?”

“I was her daughter.” Meredith broke down in sobs. “I was her daughter and she killed herself knowing that I would find her body. How could she do that to me?” Addison wrapped her arms around her little sister and rubbed her back.

“I don’t know.” Addison admitted softly. “I wish I had an answer for you, but honestly I’ve been wondering how Ellis could have done that to you since the day I met you.”

“My first patient is this innocent five year old boy that was brought in having a seizure. He has a feeding tube that was used right before he went in the ambulance and his sodium level is 165.” Meredith cried as Addison guided her over to the couch. “All signs point to his mother making him sick. His mother is hurting him, just like Ellis hurt me when she killed herself knowing that I would find her body. What did I do? What did he do?”

“You didn’t do anything and neither did your patient.” Addison promised. “Some people are just really messed up and they hurt people in response. Are you still on the case?”

“No.” Meredith shook her head and wiped her face on the sleeve of her doctor’s coat. “I told Dr. Robbins that I couldn’t be on that case and she told me to go to my resident for reassignment.”

“Well you’re in luck.” Addison smiled. “I could use an intern on my case and I would love to work with my genius baby sister.”

“What if Bailey thinks you’re playing favorites?” Meredith asked.

“Then I’ll assure her that I am not playing favorites, just know that you’re not only the best, but the only intern in the entire program that has extensive knowledge of TTTS since I’m the one who taught you and you’ve even observed a TTTS surgery before.” Addison smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “You in?”

“A surgery on my first day?” Meredith raised an eyebrow. “Of course I’m in.”

Arizona sat down at a table in the cafeteria and picked at her lunch. She couldn’t believe that the cute blonde that she hooked up with the night before was an intern, but then again that would be her luck. The pediatric surgeon wanted to know Meredith better, but now she wasn’t sure if that would be possible given the fact that she was technically her boss. She looked up when Mark sat down across from her. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Dr. Sloan, and you are Dr. Robbins. One of the other attendings that started today.” Mark said simply.

“And?” Arizona furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“I figured we should stick together since we don’t know anyone else.” Mark explained. “Just like the interns stick together.”

“Oh don’t even talk to me about interns.” Arizona groaned. “I hooked up with an intern last night, but I didn’t know she was an intern and then I come in this morning and she gets put on my service.”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re talking about Meredith Montgomery.” Mark pleaded as he looked over his shoulder and saw Meredith and Addison leave the lunch line and go their separate ways.

“Yeah actually, how did you know that?” Arizona looked at Mark curiously.

“Okay, you’re going to want to stop talking because my wife is on her way over here and she is Meredith’s extremely overprotective big sister and if she finds out that you’re the one that Mer slept with last night she’ll either interrogate you on the spot due to how Mer was talking about you when she got home last night, or she’s going to murder you on the spot since you’re the reason she thought her baby sister was dead in a ditch.” Mark explained hurriedly as Addison approached them. “Hey honey.”

“Hey sweetie.” Addison sat down and smiled when Mark kissed her cheek. “Dr. Robbins I presume?” Arizona nodded. “Did my idiot husband tell you his theory about the three of us sticking together since we’re all new?”

“He did.” Arizona nodded. “Meredith’s your sister?” Mark looked at her like she was insane.

“She is.” Addison smiled proudly over to where Meredith was sitting with the rest of Bailey’s interns. “I heard about your case, Munchausen by proxy?”

“Yeah.” Arizona sighed. “I admitted him for observation until we can get his sodium down and his father’s on his way from New Hampshire.”

“That’s sad, but at least he has his dad.” Addison smiled sadly as she thought about Meredith. “I had Bailey assign Mer to my service to cheer her up, I have a TTTS case and she’s probably bragging about it as we speak.” She chuckled.

“Do you know if she has any idea what she wants to specialize in yet?” Arizona asked as she took a bite of her salad.

“Not plastics, I can tell you that much.” Mark rolled his eyes playfully.

“Either peds or neonatal.” Addison smiled. “She used to come visit me at the hospital I worked at in New York and I would sneak her into the gallery so she could watch me operate.”

“I hope that our Munchausen case didn’t scare her off if she’s interested in peds.” Arizona sighed. “The second I told her my suspicions she didn’t want any part of it.”

“It didn’t.” Addison assured her. “It’s not my story to tell, but that case brought up some stuff that she’s still trying to process.”

“I hope she’s okay.” Arizona said sincerely.

“She will be.” Addison smiled. “I’ll make sure of it.”

That night Meredith walked into an on-call room after her TTTS surgery and was shocked to find it empty. She laid down on one of the bottom bunks and shut her eyes, only to open them a few minutes later when the door opened and revealed Arizona. “Oh, hi Dr. Robbins.”

“We’re alone, you can call me Arizona.” Arizona walked into the room and sat down on the adjacent bottom bunks. “I saw part of the TTTS surgery.”

“Addie’s way of cheering me up.” Meredith giggled.

“Yeah she mentioned that at lunch.” Arizona chuckled.

“I saw you sitting with her and Mark.” Meredith hummed. “How did that go?”

“Well, I didn’t realize that he was your brother in law and mentioned that I unknowingly slept with an intern, which he quickly realized was you.” Arizona admitted. “Then he advised me to shut up before your sister heard me unless I wanted to either be interrogated or murdered.”

“I did tell you that my sister is a little bit overprotective.” Meredith snorted. “When I got home she was pacing the living room because I hadn’t answered my phone, which obviously means that I’m dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“Speaking of, can I still use the phone number you left me?” Arizona turned on her side and smirked at Meredith.

“You’re my boss.” Meredith reminded her.

“Technically I’m your boss's boss.” Arizona pointed out.

“You’re an attending, I’m an intern and my sister and brother in law have already decided that you’re their friend. I already like you, if we continue seeing together I’m just going to like you more and I’m not good at keeping secrets from my sister, neither is Mark and he already knows that we slept together.” Meredith sighed.

“I would never ask you to keep anything a secret from your sister.” Arizona assured Meredith.

“Anyone I’ve ever dated, Addison interrogates. She says it’s payback because I used to interrogate her boyfriends, but even if I didn’t she still would because I’m not just her little sister, I was her first baby. I don’t want her to scare you off.” Meredith explained.

“I don't get scared easily.” Arizona laughed. “Go on a date with me, if you still like me at the end of the date then we can schedule my interrogation.”

“Really?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Really.” Arizona nodded.

“I should probably warn you about what happened to the last girl that hurt me.” Meredith giggled. “I don’t think you really comprehend what I mean when I say that my sister is crazy overprotective of me.”

“I’m all ears.” Arizona hummed.

“Alright, well I graduated high school at sixteen and moved in with Mark and Addison in New York since I was going to college there. There was this girl in one of my classes, Sadie. She kept flirting with me and I really liked her. Addie wasn’t crazy about me dating in general, let alone dating an eighteen year old when I was still only sixteen. We got into a huge fight and I stormed out of the house and went to Sadie’s dorm where I found her in bed with another girl. Turns out that she had a girlfriend and was only flirting with me because she found out that I skipped two grades and wanted to get close to me so she could cheat off of me. I went home in tears and told Addie and Mark what happened, which then led to Addison driving to Sadie’s dorm after she got me to sleep. She figured out which car was Sadie’s and slashed her tires.” Meredith snorted when Arizona’s eyes widened.

“You're joking?” Arizona gasped.

“Nope.” Meredith shook her head with a giggle. “Still want to go on a date with me?”

“I do.” Arizona nodded. “I happen to be off the day your forty eight hour shift ends. Can I take you out for dinner after you get some sleep?”

“You can.” Meredith beamed.

“Awesome, I’d offer to pick you up, but then my interrogation may happen before we get the chance to schedule it.” Arizona chuckled.

“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t risk it. Just text me so I have your number, and then you can tell me where to meet you.” Meredith smiled as she shut her eyes. Maybe Seattle wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Chapter Text

Meredith had tried on every dress in her closet three times before she fell down on her bed with a groan. It was finally the night of her date with Arizona and she wanted it to be absolutely perfect, but none of her dresses seemed good enough. She walked into Addison and Mark’s room to look through her sister’s closet, muttering to herself as she tried to find something to wear. Addison walked into her bedroom after a long day of work only to find her baby sister arguing with herself while looking at a dress.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve caught you rifling through my closet.” Addison chuckled as Meredith jumped and turned around holding her chest.

“Jesus Addison, a little warning next time.” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“Oh I apologize, I mean who do I think I am walking into my bedroom without announcing it.” Addison snorted. “Please, forgive me.”

“You’re the worst sister ever.” Meredith huffed as she held up a dark green dress infront of herself and looked over her reflection in the mirror.

“I’m the best sister ever and you know it.” Addison laughed. “Do you want to tell me why you’re in my closet?”

“You can’t freak out.” Meredith said seriously as she looked at Addison through the mirror. “But, I have a date.”

“Meri you're a grown woman, I’m not going to freak out just because you have a date.” Addison laughed “How’d you meet her?”

“It’s um… well it’s the woman I met at the bar the night of the intern mixer.” Meredith stuttered.

“Oh the woman that you were with while I was here thinking you were dead?” Addison rolled her eyes. “Does she have a name?”

“Addie, please be okay with this.” Meredith took a deep breath. “But the woman that I slept with that night, the woman I’m going on a date with tonight is Arizona Robbins.”

“I’m sorry? There’s no way I heard you correctly. It sounded like you said Arizona Robbins, as in the chief of pediatric surgery at the hospital where you are a surgical intern.” Addison let out a dry chuckle as Meredith just bit her lip and looked away from her sister. “Meredith.”

“I didn’t know who she was when we first slept together!” Meredith’s voice went up in pitch as she defended herself.

“You cannot go on a date with your boss!” Addison insisted.

“Technically she’s not my boss, she’s my boss’s boss.” Meredith pointed out.

“Oh my god, do you even hear yourself?” Addison pinched the bridge of her nose. “You cannot actually think that this is a good idea! You are twenty four years old, when are you going to stop acting like a child?!” She yelled.

“So I’m a child because I like someone?” Meredith scoffed. “I already told you that I didn’t know who she was when we slept together, am I just supposed to push my feelings down because she’s an attending?! I don’t think my therapist would approve of that advice.”

“Woah, what’s going on in here?” Mark asked as he walked in the bedroom to find Meredith and Addison glaring at each other.

“Meredith has a date tonight with Dr. Robbins and she doesn’t see how bad of an idea it is to get involved with an attending as an intern!” Addison explained in an exasperated tone.

“Oh well, I’m just going to let you guys talk.” Mark turned around and tried to walk out of the bedroom, only to be stopped by Addison grabbing his arm.

“What do you know?” Addison demanded as she stared at Mark with a raised eyebrow. “I know you too well to not be able to tell when you’re hiding something.”

“Mark knows that Arizona and I slept together.” Meredith confessed. “She didn’t realize he was my brother in law and told him.”

“Well isn’t that nice? I’m the last to know!” Addison threw her arms in the air dramatically.

“I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t think it was my place.” Mark sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Addie, I wanted to tell you too, but I’ve been at the hospital for forty eight hours and I didn’t want to talk about it there. The other interns are already pissed off that I scrubbed in on your TTTS surgery, the last thing I need is for them to think that I’m also getting special treatment from Arizona because I slept with her. I’m sorry.” Meredith apologized sincerely. “I don’t want to fight with you and I know that you think that I’m being stupid and reckless, but I really like her. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Of course it does Meri.” Addison took the dress out of Meredith’s hands and put it down before guiding the blonde over to the bed. “I just worry about you, and maybe I get a little crazy sometimes, but you said so yourself that if the other interns find out that you’re seeing an attending they’ll probably assume that you are doing it to get ahead and I don’t want you to have to go through that.”

“I don’t plan on them finding out.” Meredith shrugged. “But I don’t want to have to keep it a secret from you. We’re sisters, sisters don’t have secrets. At least we never have.”

“You’re right, and I don’t want to start now.” Addison sighed. “You really like her?”

“I really like her.” Meredith nodded. “And she already knows that you’ll end up interrogating her, but she likes me and not even the promise of you giving her the third degree scared her off.”

“Well she probably doesn’t understand just how crazy I can be.” Addison chuckled.

“I told her about Sadie, so she knows.” Meredith giggled.

“Meri, I’m sorry that I said that you were acting like a child. I just worry about you, you’re my baby sister and I love you so much. I just want the best for you, but I need to stop thinking that I know what’s best for you when that’s not always the truth.” Addison apologized. “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can.” Meredith smiled. “I know that you were just worried and I’m grateful that you care enough about me to worry, but I really do need to start getting ready. I don’t want to be late.”

“She’s not picking you up?” Mark asked.

“No, I told her that I would meet her at the restaurant. She wanted to pick me up, but we agreed to go on a date before scheduling her interrogation. That way I can see if I still like her before throwing her to the wolves.” Meredith explained with a giggle.

“Well if you still like her at the end of the date, bring her home with you, that way I can get the interrogation over with before I have to see her at work tomorrow.” Addison suggested as she walked over to her closet and pulled out a deep purple dress. “I think you’ll look amazing in this, purple is so your color.”

“Thank you Addie.” Meredith stood up and hugged Addison before taking the dress from her. “Do my hair?”

“I would love to.” Addison nodded.

An hour later Meredith was being led to a table on the balcony of a fancy Italian restaurant in downtown Seattle with a fantastic view of the Space Needle. “Wow, when you said to expect my socks to be blown off you weren’t kidding. This view is insane.”

“The Space Needle is lovely, but it doesn’t even begin to compare to my view.” Arizona smiled as she took a sip of her wine. “You look incredible, Meredith.”

“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.” Meredith ordered herself a drink and looked at Arizona with a smile. “Sorry I was a couple of minutes late, I tried on every dress in my closet like three times before I finally just gave up and raided my sister’s closet.”

“It’s okay, it’s worth it if you look like that.” Arizona reached across the table and interlaced her fingers with Meredith’s. “I found this place on my first night in Seattle and it has the best carbonara that I’ve ever had.”

“It actually used to be a breakfast restaurant that was best known for its chocolate chip waffles, but that was another lifetime ago.” Meredith giggled as she looked over the menu.

“I thought you were new to Seattle?” Arizona tilted her head as she looked at Meredith with a soft smile.

“I lived here when I was a kid, but I haven’t been here since I was five.” Meredith confessed. “Connecticut is home, but I guess Seattle was my home once upon a time, I just don’t remember much from my time here.”

“But you remember the waffles?” Arizona chuckled.

“They were really good waffles.” Meredith shrugged with a goofy smile. The waiter came over with Meredith’s glass of wine and took their order before leaving them alone again. “So where are you from?”

“Honestly, I’m from everywhere. My father was in the army so we constantly moved around when I was growing up. The first time that I stayed somewhere for more than a few months was in college. If I had to pick a place that felt the most like home, I would have to say Baltimore. I did my internship and residency at Hopkins and then stayed there for my peds fellowship before taking the job as chief of peds at Seattle Grace.” Arizona explained. “So you lived in Seattle for the first five years of your life and then you moved to Connecticut?”

“Yeah.” Meredith nodded. “Then I went to college and med school in New York, now I’m back in Seattle.”

“What made you decide to come back?” Arizona asked.

“I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to see if things had changed.” Meredith took another sip of her wine. “And what do you know, my favorite breakfast spot is now an upscale Italian restaurant.” The waiter brought their food over and they started eating while they continued to talk.

“So how’s internship going?” Arizona asked as she took a bite of her carbonara.

“Well, two of the interns in my group hate me because I scrubbed in on my sister’s TTTS surgery, one of them keeps calling me princess, and one of them says not to listen to the other three because if her sister was Addison Forbes Montgomery-Sloan that she would be calling in every favor she could.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “Oh and Bailey said that she won’t allow my sister to give me special treatment even though Addie doesn’t believe in special treatment, she just believes in me.”

“You guys are really close, huh?” Arizona smiled softly as Meredith took a bite of her spaghetti bolognese and got sauce on her chin. The intern blushed as she wiped her chin with a napkin.

“Yeah, I didn’t actually meet Addie or our brother until I was five, but the two of us were close from the moment we met. She’s always been my best friend and has believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.” Meredith smiled as she thought of her older sister. “Do you have any siblings?”

“I had an older brother, but he passed away.” Arizona smiled sadly. “We were close like you and your sister, when he died it felt like I had lost a piece of who I was.”

“I’m so sorry.” Meredith reached over and took Arizona’s hand in hers and squeezed it gently. “That’s awful, I couldn’t imagine ever losing Addison, I don’t think I would make it.”

“I felt like that when I lost my brother, but I made it, I’m just not the same as I was when he was here, you know.” Arizona sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring the mood down.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I want to know you. The good, the bad, the bright, the shiny, the dark, and the twisty. I like you, Arizona, and it’s not often that I actually like someone so I’m terrified of messing this up, but I do want to know you.” Meredith said sincerely with a small smile.

“Thank you.” Arizona smiled as she looked at hers and Meredith’s intertwined fingers. “Can I ask why you didn’t meet your siblings until you were five?”

“That’s a story for the second date.” Meredith giggled nervously. “But the short version is that my biological mother didn’t tell my father that she was pregnant so he didn’t find out about me until she passed away and her will not only revealed that he was my father, but also named him as my guardian.”

“Losing your mother must be awful, I’m really sorry.” Arizona smiled sympathetically.

“It’s fine, I don’t really remember her.” Meredith smiled tightly. “So, how's life in peds?”

“It’s good, yesterday I had this patient who shoved a marble so far up his nose that it had to be removed surgically and then two hours after it was removed, he shoved another one up his nose.” Arizona chuckled.

“Seriously?” Meredith laughed. “Didn’t he learn anything the first time?”

“I guess not.” Arizona shook her head as she laughed with Meredith, their laughs mingling together in a symphony of disbelief and joy. “Addison mentioned that you may be interested in peds?”

“Yeah, I’ve always really liked kids.” Meredith tucked her hair behind her ear. “Kids are just resilient, you know? It’s like they can bounce back from anything and they’re so full of hope that I find it inspiring.”

“That’s what attracted me to peds, the resilience and hope that children possess even when it would be understandable for them to have none.” Arizona agreed. “They believe in magic. They play pretend. There is fairy dust in their IV bags. They hope, and they cross their fingers, and they make wishes and that makes them more resilient than adults. They recover faster and survive worse, all because they have hope.” Meredith just stared at her while the other blonde spoke with a twinkle in her eye and a goofy smile on her face. “Do I sound crazy? You’re staring at me.”

“I’m just staring because when you talk about your job, you get this little sparkle in your eye and your smile takes up your entire face. You’re beautiful in general, but the absolute joy that you obviously feel while talking about your patients makes you even beautiful. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Meredith blushed and bit her lip as she looked away. Arizona reached across the table and gently lifted her chin up so they’re blue eyes were locked on one another.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” Arizona promised with a kind smile. “I think that you’re beautiful too and I really want to kiss you.”

“So kiss me.” Meredith leaned across the table with a challenging glint in her eye. Arizona leaned closer and connected their lips in a soft kiss. While the two had kissed before, their previous kisses were full of hunger and need, whereas this kiss was soft and tender. Meredith’s eyes fluttered open when Arizona pulled away and a dopey smile appeared on her face. “You’re a good kisser.”

“So are you.” Arizona smiled with a soft blush on her cheeks. The waiter came back and collected their empty plates and left the check on their table. Meredith went to reach for her purse, but she shook her head. “This one’s on me.”

“Are you sure?” Meredith double checked. “I can at least pay the tip.”

“This date was about me wooing you, so now you will not pay the tip.” Arizona laughed. “Have I succeeded?”

“Yes, I have been successfully wooed.” Meredith nodded. “But you know what this means, don’t you?”

“Time to schedule my interrogation?” Arizona laughed. “I’m not scared.”

“Oh you should be.” Meredith smirked. “Because Addie expects us at the house after our date so she can interrogate you before seeing you at work tomorrow.”

“What?” Arizona’s eyes widened comically. “And you’re just telling me now?”

“I wanted to make sure I still liked you before freaking you out and it turns out that I do still like you.” Meredith giggled. “It won’t be that bad and I’ll be there the entire time.”

“What if she doesn’t like me? Or what if she thinks that I’m trying to take advantage of you? Or what if…” Arizona’s anxious rambling was cut off by Meredith’s lips on hers. She immediately returned the kiss, savoring the taste of the younger blonde’s wine on her lips. “Remind me to freak out around you more often.”

“Noted.” Meredith snorted. “As long as you are yourself everything will be fine. Addie can get a little insane, but at the end of the day she just wants me to be happy and I have a feeling that you can make me really happy.”

“I definitely made you really happy the other night.” Arizona smirked. “Multiple times.”

“Do not say that to Addie.” Meredith giggled as she blushed a deep scarlet. “Plus if I recall correctly, I made you pretty happy as well.”

“You did.” Arizona laughed. “Alright, well should we head to my execution, I mean interrogation.”

“You’re funny, that’s another point in your favorite.” Meredith hummed as she stood up from her chair and took Arizona’s hand. “Do you just want to follow me?”

“Or I could ride with you and then you can drive me back to my car so we can spend more time together.” Arizona suggested with a slightly insecure smile.

“Smart, once again a point in your favor.” Meredith led Arizona to her car and opened the passenger door for her.

“Such a gentlewoman.” Arizona beamed as she got in and buckled her seatbelt. Meredith got into the driver’s seat and pulled out of the parking lot. “Is there anything I should know before we get there?”

“Addison will probably try to make you uncomfortable, her way of weeding out the week. She also will probably mention that I have an amazing judgment of character, unless it comes to the people I’m dating because I don’t value myself enough not to let people walk all over me.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “She’s all bark and no bite, but if she senses that you’re uncomfortable she’ll feed on it.”

“She sounds like my older brother when he used to interview the girls I brought home.” Arizona chuckled at the memory of Timothy. “Not that I was any better with the girls he dated.”

“In my family, when it came to guys that Addie brought home, everybody always followed my lead. If I liked someone then so did they.” Meredith laughed. “Mark was the first guy that I ever liked and now they’ve been married for eight years.”

“How old were you when you first met him?” Arizona looked over at Meredith while the younger blonde weaved through the streets of Seattle.

“Twelve.” Meredith hummed. “They were together for four years before getting married when they graduated medical school. I was her maid of honor and also the reason she even made it down the aisle. She was a nervous wreck.” She chuckled at the memory of Addison pacing on her wedding day.

“Addison Forbes Montgomery-Sloan a nervous wreck?” Arizona looked at Meredith in disbelief. “I’m not too sure that I believe that, she seems so confident.”

“She is, but even the most confident person has their moments.” Meredith said softly as she pulled into the driveway and turned to face Arizona. “Are you ready?”

“I’m ready.” Arizona unbuckled her seat belt and opened her door. “Stay right there, it’s my turn to be a gentlewoman.” She walked around to the driver's side and opened the door for Meredith.

“I could get used to this.” Meredith unbuckled her seatbelt and accepted Arizona’s hand as she climbed out of the car. “Sweet and sexy.” She smiled as she leaned in to peck the older blonde’s lips before leading her up the stairs to her front door and into the house. “Addie! Mark! I’m back and Arizona is here!” She called as she led Arizona over to the couch and sat down next to her. Addison and Mark came down the stairs and the redhead sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch the same way Meredith used to when she was a child questioning her older sister’s love interests.

“So Arizona, tell me why you think you deserve to date my baby sister?” Addison leaned forward into Arizona’s personal state while Mark sat down in a recliner and watched with a smirk.

“Well, Meredith is funny and smart and she makes me experience butterflies when I haven’t felt butterflies in a really long time. She's special and maybe I don’t deserve to date her, but I want to date her because she makes me remember a happier time in life. I had an older brother who passed away and there’s not a day that I don’t miss him. Since he died I have felt as if I was drowning, but Meredith is like coming up for fresh air. Everytime that I’m around her I can’t help but smile.” Arizona explained.

“You don’t think that she’s beneath you because you’re the chief of your department and she’s just an intern?” Addison raised an eyebrow at Arizona while Mark and Meredith both tried not to laugh.

“I don’t think she’s beneath me at all.” Arizona said firmly. “If anything I’m beneath her. She’s the one who graduated high school at sixteen years old. Every surgeon starts as an intern. Sure, I’m chief of my department but anyone can be chief of a department, but not everyone can manage to graduate high school two years early.”

“Good answer.” Addison hummed. “You understand that the two of you being together is much more dangerous for Meredith than it is for you, correct?”

“Yes, but I would never want to do anything to make her job harder. I understand that my being an attending could lead people to thinking that she’s just trying to get ahead and that if something happened between us that’s how she would be painted while I would get off Scot free and if that did happen I would make sure everyone knows that Meredith isn’t like that. When we met we had no clue that we would end up working together and I really like her, I don’t want to miss out on getting to know her better because people don’t know when to keep their mouth shut, I would spend the rest of my life defending her if it means getting to know her better because she’s truly incredible. I have her best interest at heart Addison, I would never purposely hurt her or sit back and let people that don’t know what they’re talking about shit on her.” Arizona assured Addison while Meredith smiled and interlaced their fingers together.

“Meredith has been through a lot in her life and while it’s not my place to tell you her story, what I will tell you is there will be times that the two of you have plans, but she cancels them at the last minute without an explanation. She’s brilliant and has the biggest heart in the world, but she’s also a tad dark and twisty, and sometimes she just needs time to herself. You can’t get mad at her for that and you can’t get mad if she doesn’t come to you with her problems. She's been through hell and it can take her time to trust new people, you need to be patient with her.” Addison cautioned softly. “And if there’s ever anything going on that she’s acting weird and you’re worried, I need you to come to me so that I can help her. I need to be able to trust you because Mer isn’t just my little sister, she’s my baby and I can’t help her if I don’t know that something is wrong.”

“I would never get mad at her for needing space and time for herself. I promise that I will be patient and treat her the way that she deserves and that if there’s anything wrong that I will come to you.” Arizona vowed in a genuine and sincere voice. “I know that the two of you are close and I would never want to come between that, I just hope that you can believe me when I saw that I really like your sister and I would love to keep seeing her for no reason other than she makes me smile and life is to short not to be with someone who makes you smile.”

“If you hurt her, I promise you that your body will never be found.” Addison said seriously. “And if by some miracle someone does find your body, they’ll never be able to identify you.”

“If I hurt her, I’ll hand you the knife.” Arizona said just as seriously. She and Addison stared at each other for a long moment before the redhead smiled.

“I like her.” Addison chuckled. “You picked a good one, Meri.”

“Meri?” Arizona smiled.

“Only Addie can call me that.” Meredith giggled. “Mark tried once when I was thirteen and I responded by shaving his eyebrows off when he was asleep.”

“I looked ridiculous.” Mark huffed at the memory. “But I also never called her Meri again.”

“I’ll just have to give you my own special nickname for you.” Arizona kissed the back of Meredith’s hand, eliciting a blush out of the younger woman. “You're adorable when you blush.”

“I am not.” Meredith grumbled playfully.

“Whatever you say.” Arizona chuckled and kissed Meredith’s cheek. “So did I pass?”

“You did.” Addison nodded. “Congratulations, I approve. It’s about time that Meredith’s good character judgement applied to someone that she’s dating.”

“Addie!” Meredith whined. “Must you be so annoying?”

“You’re only annoyed because you know that I’m right.” Addison snorted. “You think too little of yourself and never pick someone worthy of your attention, but I really do think that Arizona could be good for you.”

“I think so too, not that anyone cares about what I think.” Mark snickered while Meredith threw a couch pillow at his face. “Love you, Mer.”

“Love you too, buttmunch.” Meredith rolled her eyes and looked at Arizona with a soft smile. “Alright well, I should probably drive you back to your car so I can get home and deal with Addie demanding to know all about our date and still manage to get a good night's sleep before work tomorrow.”

“You know me so well.” Addison hummed as she stood up. “Sleepover?”

“Doesn’t your husband miss you when you ditch him for me?” Meredith giggled.

“I knew where I stood the day I asked her out on our first date.” Mark snorted. “Not to mention, when she sleeps in your room she can’t hog the blankets, ergo I don’t freeze to death.”

“I do not hog all the blankets.” Addison scoffed.

“Yes you do.” Meredith and Mark said at the same time.

“Okay maybe I do, now do you want to have a sleepover or not?” Addison huffed as she crossed her arms.

“Always.” Meredith smiled as she stood up and offered Arizona her hand. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Drive safe!” Addison called as Meredith and Arizona walked out the front door. “They’re cute together, aren’t they?”

“They are.” Mark agreed as he wrapped his arms around Addison. “Not as cute as us, but still cute.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Addison laughed and turned to cup Mark’s face and kiss him deeply.

“You married me, what does that say about you?” Mark laughed.

“It means that I have good taste.” Addison husked as she leaned in to kiss Mark again.

Meredith pulled into the empty parking spot next to Arizona’s car and got out to open the passenger door for her. “I had a really nice time tonight, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Arizona smiled. “So, will there be a second date?”

“Yes, but I get to plan this one.” Meredith smiled mischievously.

“Deal.” Arizona laughed. “I’ll see you at work?”

“Yes, you will.” Meredith wrapped her arms loosely around the back of Arizona’s neck and kissed her deeply for a few long moments before pulling back with pink cheeks. “Goodnight Arizona.”

“Goodnight Meredith.” Arizona leaned in for one more kiss before walking to her car. She waved as she pulled out of the parking spot and Meredith waved back and waited until Arizona was gone before she got in her own car and started the drive home, mentally preparing herself for all her older sister’s questions.

Chapter Text

Meredith walked into the house and hung her keys up before going upstairs where Addison was already waiting in her bedroom in her pajamas with snacks. “It’s about time, I’ve been sitting here stuffing my face with junk food waiting to hear all about your date.”

“You could have hung out with Mark while I brought Arizona back to her car.” Meredith giggled as she went to her drawer to pick out her own pair of pajamas.

“She was, I was also stuffing my face while waiting to hear about your date. You just happened to get back while I was in the bathroom.” Mark chuckled as he walked back inside of Meredith’s room, his sudden presence causing the blonde to jump in shock.

“Jesus, wear a bell!” Meredith groaned as she stomped out of her room and went into the bathroom to change. She came back and plopped down on her bed next to Addison while Mark sat in the chair in the corner munching on popcorn. “So, you guys really like Arizona?”

“I think she’s great and she seems nuts about you.” Mark dropped a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“I really do like her.” Addison nodded with a smile. “I’m still nervous about you dating an attending as an intern, but if you’re going to date an attending then I’m happy it’s Arizona. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.”

“I like her a lot, I’m almost scared by how much I like her.” Meredith reached over Addison to reach the bag of m&ms on the nightstand. “We went to dinner at this Italian restaurant across from the Space Needle. We sat on the balcony at an isolated table and the view was incredible, but I barely found myself looking at the Space Needle because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I just don’t understand what she sees in me. I mean she’s already an accomplished surgeon, not to mention extremely hot, and I’m just me.”

“Shadow, look at me.” Addison said in a gentle but firm turn of voice. Meredith turned to look at her older sister with tears forming in her eyes. “You may not be an accomplished surgeon, but you still have a lot going for you. You graduated high school as valedictorian two years early and we’re top of your class in both undergrad and medical school. Education aside, you are probably the most empathetic person that I have ever met and you care so much about everyone that you cross paths with. And I wouldn’t say that your slacking in the looks department either, of course I may be a tad bit biased seeing as you look like me only with blonde hair and blue eyes.” She chuckled. “My point is, Arizona is lucky that you are interested in her, not the other way around. Do not sell yourself short because you are absolutely extraordinary.”

“Thanks Addie.” Meredith smiled. “The restaurant she took me to, I actually remembered it from when I was a kid. It used to be a breakfast restaurant and Thatcher used to take me there for the chocolate chip waffles.”

“I thought you didn’t remember anything from your time in Seattle?” Mark asked, both sisters jumped as they momentarily forgot that he was in the room. “That’s right, I’m still here. I love how easy it is for the two of you to forget about me.” He snorted. “I’ll try not to take it to heart.”

“You know that we go into this sister bubble, don’t take it personally honey.” Addison chuckled as she turned her head to wink at Mark.

“I don’t really remember a whole lot from when I lived in Seattle before Ellis killed herself, but I could never forget those waffles. They were really good.” Meredith explained with a tiny giggle. “Most of what I remember is the hospital since that’s where I spent the majority of my time, but most of my memories of the hospital have been overshadowed by pulling up in an ambulance covered in blood with Ellis’ dead body next to me. What if Arizona leaves me when she realizes how damaged I am?”

“First of all, you are not damaged. You experienced an awful trauma at a very young age and yes it had an impact on you, but you are not damaged or broken or any other negative adjective that you can come up with. Second of all, if Arizona can’t handle that you have real and justifiable emotions then I’ll kill her and feed her body to pigs.” Addison said nonchalantly with a shrug.

“Okay you are terrifying.” Meredith laughed as she turned towards Mark. “I need you to be honest with me, are you with my sister because you love her, or because scares you and you figured that it’s better to be married to her than to potentially wind up on her hit list?”

“Why can’t both be true?” Mark snickered. “I do love her, but she is slightly terrifying when it comes to how protective she is of you. I do not doubt that she really would murder Arizona and feed her body to pigs if she hurt you.”

“I don’t either.” Meredith giggled and glanced at Addison with a smile. “The purple dress was a good call, she was practically drooling.”

“You can keep it, purple looks better on you than it does me.” Addison smiled. “So is there going to be a second date?”

“Yes, and I get to plan this one.” Meredith beamed while bouncing in excitement. “I already have a few ideas.” She laid back on the bed and pulled her comforter over her. “Okay it’s my bedtime, goodnight.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Addison asked as she brushed Meredith’s hair out of her face.

“If you want to, but I think I’ll be okay if you would rather sleep with Mark.” Meredith yawned.

“I’ll be right next door if you need me.” Addison pressed a maternal kiss to Meredith’s forehead before gathering the snacks and leaving the room with Mark. Three hours later, both the redhead and her husband were woken up by Meredith’s screams of terror. “I got her.” Addison yawned and kissed Mark lightly before running into her sister's bedroom. “Meri, wake up.” She shook the blonde’s shoulder lightly to rouse her awake.

“Addie…” Meredith’s voice cracked as she sat up.

“Nightmare?” Addison sat down on the bed and wasn’t surprised when Meredith threw herself in her arms. Whenever the blonde had a nightmare she always seemed much younger than she was. It was as if getting into a Time Machine and going back to when her little sister was a freshly traumatized five year old. “Shh, you’re okay, I got you. You’re okay Meri, my little shadow, you’re okay.” She cooed into Meredith’s ear while she rubbed her back. Mark tiptoed into the room and handed his wife a water bottle before going back next door to try to sleep for a few more hours.

“I’m sorry.” Meredith mumbled as she pulled away from Addison and accepted the bottle of water that her sister was offering her.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” Addison got up and found Meredith another pair of pajamas and handed them to her.

“I’m too old to still be having nightmares.” Meredith sighed as she turned her back to Addison and changed out of her sweat ridden pajamas into the pair that the redhead had found. “I’m twenty four years old and am screaming in my sleep like a child.”

“I don’t believe that there’s an age limit on nightmares Meri.” Addison smiled sympathetically. “And your therapist warned you that moving back to Seattle could cause you to have more nightmares than usual, that’s part of the reason why I insisted on you living with me and Mark.”

“I know.” Meredith whispered as she glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 1am. “Ugh I don’t have to be up for another four hours.” She dropped down on her pillow dramatically.

“Do you want me to stay?” Addison asked softly. When Meredith nodded she climbed into the bed and nestled under the comforter, taking the majority of it off of her little sister.

“Blanket hog.” Meredith groaned as she pulled more of the blanket over to her side. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Meri.” Addison chuckled as she shut her eyes.

“Thanks for staying.” Meredith whispered. Addison opened her eyes and smiled softly at her little sister, immediately noticing the vulnerability in her blue eyes.

“Always.” Addison nodded. “Besides, if anything happened to you Bizzy would kill me.”

“That’s true.” Meredith giggled. “Although I’m sure that Bizzy knows that you would never let anything happen to me.”

“Go to sleep, we can talk more in the morning.” Addison chuckled. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Meredith hummed as she turned on her side and fell asleep.

Later that morning Meredith was in the locker room where Izzie and George were both glaring at her. She rolled her eyes and sat down on the bench while waiting for Bailey to come give them their assignments for the day. “Don't you guys have anything better to do than stare at me?”

“Sure, make us the bad guys when you’re the one going to your older sister for favors and scrubbing in on a TTTS surgery on our first day as interns.” Izzie scoffed. “You know, some of us had to work to get into this program.”

“You don’t think that I worked for my spot here?” Meredith laughed in disbelief. “I graduated high school at sixteen because I managed to skip two grades by working my ass off. Then I was top of my class at both Yale and Columbia despite being younger than anyone else. I worked my ass off to get to where I am and for the record, I didn’t ask my sister for that surgery. She came to me because I had observed a TTTS surgery before, have you?” She glared at Izzie with a raised eyebrow and watched as the taller blonde shrunk under her intense gaze. “I didn’t think so. Addison doesn’t play favorites, when we’re working I’m just another intern, not her baby sister.”

“Don’t you think it’s kind of funny that your sister and brother in law got jobs here at the same time you were accepted to the intern program?” George asked. “It makes it seem like you only got into the program because the hospital wanted them.”

“Well, if you did your homework you would know that neither one of them applied here until after I was accepted into the intern program.” Meredith corrected. “The hospital did not scout them and take me as a condition of their employment, they only applied here because I said I was moving to Seattle and they didn’t want me to make such a drastic move on my own. How about next time you want to accuse me of something, you make sure you actually know what you’re talking about first?” She suggested as she brushed past Izzie and George and walked outside of the locker room to wait for Bailey. Alex walked up to her and leaned against the wall next to her.

“Don’t let those losers bother you, they’re just jealous.” Alex told Meredith with a small smile.

“I’m just tired of my accomplishments being overlooked because of who I’m related to.” Meredith sighed. “I worked my ass off and everyone just assumes that I’m only here because of my older sister when in reality she’s only here because of me.”

“Did you really graduate high school at sixteen?” Alex asked.

“I did.” Meredith nodded. “I was valedictorian and then went to Yale on a full scholarship.”

“Damn, princess, you amaze me more and more every second.” Alex chuckled.

“Stop calling me princess.” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“Sorry, I don’t mean anything bad by it, just that you are surgical royalty. Addison Montgomery-Sloan is your sister, Mark Sloan is your brother in law, I assume that Adam Montgomery is your father?” Alex asked.

“He is.” Meredith smiled. “My brother is a neurologist, he didn’t go the surgery route, but he’s one of the top neurologists in the country.”

“Impressive.” Alex smiled as Bailey approached them.

“Well since you two are already here, you can head to the pit. There’s an incoming trauma.” Bailey directed as George, Izzie, and Cristina filed out of the locker room just as Meredith and Alex were running towards the pit. When they got there, the first thing that Meredith noticed was Arizona examining a patient. Despite doing her best not to smile like an idiot, she caught the older blonde’s eye with a huge goofy smile on her face. The peds surgeon chuckled as she subtly waved at the intern before turning her attention back to her patient. Meredith walked out to the ambulance bay where Alex was waiting for the incoming trauma with Richard.

“I’d know you anywhere, you’re the spitting image of your mother.” Richard looked at Meredith in awe. “You look just like Ellis when she was an intern.”

“My mother is Bizzy Forbes, you must have mistaken me for someone else.” Meredith smiled tightly. “I’m Meredith Forbes Montgomery.”

“Of course.” Richard nodded with a smile as the ambulance pulled up. After that had gotten the patients situated, Meredith and Alex were sitting on a gurney in the basement.

“You’re Ellis Grey's daughter.” Alex stated matter of factly. “She was a resident in consideration for the Harper Avery awards when she killed herself, leaving behind her five year old daughter Meredith Olivia Grey.” He showed her Ellis’ obituary on his phone.

“Maybe I was, but that was a long time ago.” Meredith shrugged. “I barely even remember her, Bizzy raised me and even adopted me as her own. I don’t consider Ellis my mother. The only good thing she ever did was make sure that my father gained custody of me after her death. I had an extremely happy childhood with loving parents and protective older siblings. With Ellis I just remember feeling alone all of the time.”

“My dad was an abusive asshole and my mom is schizophrenic. I practically raised my younger siblings.” Alex confessed.

“Really?” Meredith looked at Alex as he nodded. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You’re not the only one who has stuff that they would rather keep hidden. I know a secret about you, and now you know one about me.” Alex explained.

“So we’re friends now?” Meredith raised an eyebrow with an amused facial expression.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Alex snorted. The rest of Bailey’s interns entered the basement and sat down with them. “What’s that smell?”

“It’s Izzie, Bailey put her on rectal exams.” Cristina laughed. “How was the trauma in the pit?”

“Rather minor, it was a car accident. The driver has a small brain bleed while the passenger has a broken femur. They were lucky.” Meredith explained. “Jesus, she smells really bad.” She held her nose closed while glancing over at Izzie. “Why don’t you go take a shower?”

“I do not smell that bad!” Izzie argued as she looked at George. “Do I?”

“Sorry Iz, but you really do smell gross.” George grimaced as Izzie got up and stalked off to the locker room with George following close behind. Meredith’s pager went off and she smiled when she saw who the page was from.

“I’ll see you guys later.” Meredith waved as she ran up to the peds wing and found Arizona at the nurses station. “Dr. Robbins, you paged?”

“I did. Bailey said that you weren’t on anyone’s service and I could use an intern.” Arizona smiled. “I have a surgery scheduled for in about an hour, if you’re lucky maybe you’ll get to scrub in.”

“Hmm, is that so?” Meredith giggled and took the chart that Arizona was holding out towards her. “Seven year old with a stomach tumor?”

“Wait until you see the scans. It’s huge.” Arizona nodded. “It’s not malignant thankfully, but its location is making it difficult for her to eat and she really misses cheeseburgers.”

“Lead the way, Dr. Robbins.” Meredith beamed and followed Arizona to the patient’s room. After doing standard labs and another set of scans, they brought the patient to the OR where the intern got to scrub in on the procedure. When they scrubbed out, Meredith felt like she was buzzing. “That was incredible! You removed the entire tumor like it was nothing!”

“I have a lot of practice.” Arizona chuckled. “So, how was your sleepover with your sister?”

“It was good.” Meredith smiled tightly.

“I think it’s sweet that you guys still have sleepovers even though she’s married.” Arizona said, not noticing how uncomfortable Meredith was.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Meredith nodded.

“Are you okay?” Arizona tilted her head as she looked over Meredith’s face carefully.

“I’m great.” Meredith sighed. “Sorry, it’s not you.”

“Do you want to talk? I have some time, we could go to my office.” Arizona offered.

“I’m fine.” Meredith forced a smile. “Thank you though, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” Arizona smiled as Meredith’s pager went off.

“Another day, another trauma.” Meredith joked. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Arizona watched as Meredith ran out of the scrub room. After wiping her hands she started back towards her office, nearly bumping into Mark. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was waking.”

“It’s okay, but are you okay?” Mark asked with a hint of concern.

“Yeah, it’s just, I don’t know.” Arizona sighed. “I let Meredith scrub in on my surgery and things went great, but then they got kind of weird in the scrub room.”

“Weird how?” Mark felt his mind begin to race.

“I asked how her sleepover with Addison was last night, and she just seemed a little awkward.” Arizona explained. “Addison did like me, right?”

“Yes, she did.” Mark assured Arizona. “Look, I don’t want to tell you anything that could get me in trouble, but Mer had some trouble sleeping last night so she’s probably just tired.”

“So when she said that it wasn’t me, she was telling the truth?” Arizona asked with a hint of vulnerability.

“If there’s one thing you can always count on Meredith for, it’s to tell you the truth.” Mark chuckled. “I was actually looking for you, I heard that you needed a consult?”

“Yeah, I have this patient that has had some hearing loss and I know that you’re an ENT.” Arizona explained as she and Mark continued walking down the hall.

That night Meredith was leaving the locker room after changing out of her scrub when she noticed Arizona hiding behind a corner. She giggled as she walked up to her. “This is nice, a little stalkery, but still nice.”

“Look, I like you and I want you to be my girlfriend and maybe I’m being a little crazy, but it’s your fault because you make me crazy! I am sorry if my asking about your sleepover upset you for any reason, but all I’ve been able to think about since last night is you. And I know that you’re an intern and it may not always work out for us to see each other outside of work so when Bailey mentioned that you were available I jumped on the chance to have you work that case with me because I wanted to spend time with you. I’m typically not like this, but as I mentioned, you make me crazy!” Arizona rambled. “And now I’m loitering around the intern locker room in hopes that maybe you would like to go out with me tonight.”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?” Meredith beamed.

“You stopped listening after that, didn’t you?” Arizona blushed.

“Yeah, sorry.” Meredith giggled. “For the record, I would love to be your girlfriend.”

“Good, because I haven’t stopped thinking about you since last night.” Arizona smiled.

“Same here, I’ve been planning our second date since I dropped you back off at your car.” Meredith confessed. “When are you free?”

“Well, if you didn’t completely zone out when I said I wanted you to be my girlfriend then you would have heard me ask if you wanted to go out with me tonight.” Arizona chuckled. “What did you have in mind?”

“Ever been to a drive-in?” Meredith smirked.

“Not since I was a kid, but I would love to go with you. Are they even open tonight?” Arizona asked.

“They are.” Meredith nodded. “Text me your address and I’ll pick you up in about an hour? It was kinda dark last time I was there.”

“It’s a date.” Arizona smiled and watched as Meredith walked away. An hour later she opened the door to her apartment and couldn’t help but stare at the younger blonde who was dressed in jeans and a chunky sweater with her hair in a low ponytail. “I thought you looked amazing in that dress, but wow.”

“Thank you.” Meredith beamed with a giggle. “You look really nice too, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, let me just grab my purse.” Arizona grabbed her purse off of the hook and locked her apartment door behind her before following Meredith to her car. “Do you know what’s playing?”

“Drew Barrymore’s Never Been Kissed. Also known as one of my favorite movies of all time. Honestly Drew Barrymore is how I realized that I was a lesbian.” Meredith confessed. “She was my first celebrity crush.”

“I never would have guessed that, my first celebrity crush was Cindy Crawford.” Arizona chuckled.

“I can totally see that.” Meredith giggled as she pulled into the drive-in and paid for both her and Arizona. Once they parked they got out of the car and Meredith opened her trunk to reveal pillows, blankets, and snacks.

“You really put a lot of thought into this.” Arizona smiled as she sat down in the trunk. “I’m flattered.”

“My mother taught me that when you like someone, you go all out.” Meredith blushed. “She’s always been really supportive of me. When I came out to her she just kissed my forehead and told me to be true to myself, no matter what anyone else thinks. I was scared that she would hate me, but I was still her little girl.”

“When I came out the only person I was really nervous to tell was my father, but he said that all he had was one question. Of course I was expecting ‘How fast can you get the hell out of my house?’ But instead it was ‘Are you still who I raised you to be?’ It didn’t matter who I loved, as long as I was still the daughter he raised, and I was.” Arizona smiled and tucked a loose strand of Meredith’s hair behind her ear. “Parents, good parents anyway, only care if their children are happy. As long as they’re happy, not much else matters.”

“My father was relieved when I came out.” Meredith giggled. “My being a lesbian meant no unplanned pregnancies, which also made my older brother happy.”

“My brother asked if my being gay meant that I would marry a chick, and when I said yes he got this big smile and said ‘I’m going to dance so hard at your wedding.’ I really miss him, I think you would like you.” Arizona laid her head on Meredith’s shoulder.

“Would it be wrong to ask how he died?” Meredith asked quietly while holding a m&m up to Arizona’s lips. The older blonde accepted the candy with a happy hum.

“He was in the military and was killed in combat.” Arizona sighed. “He died fighting for his country, my dad was really proud, but I was just angry. He only joined the military to make our father proud, so instead of realizing that my dad was grieving and blaming himself, I took all of my anger out on him. I got really mean and really nasty, but I realized that I wasn’t the only one suffering and apologized and in a way, I think it brought us closer. Sure, Timothy was gone and there was no bringing him back, but as a family we got closer.”

“When my biological mother died, I was five years old. At that point I had spent five years with her and the man that I thought was my father, only to find out that my father wasn’t the man married to my biological mother. After she died, her will had my father listed as Adam Montgomery and when he got the call, he immediately got a plan to come meet me. That was when I met Addison for the first time, she came with him. I immediately felt a connection with her, but it took a while for me to warm up to our father and brother. Addison’s mother, the woman who raised me from the time that I was five, never looked at me differently even though I was conceived during a one night stand that her husband had with another woman. I went from being a very lonely child to being part of a close knit family with loving parents and siblings who would do anything for me.” Meredith smiled. “I guess in a way, the death of my biological mother was the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“Can I ask how your biological mother died?” Arizona asked in a soft voice.

“She killed herself.” Meredith admitted. “I found her body. It shouldn’t matter, but it really messed me up. That’s why I got so weird when you asked about my sleepover with Addie, she ended up sleeping in her room with Mark because I said that I was fine, but then I woke them both up at 1am screaming due to a nightmare. Now people at the hospital think that I only got into the intern program because the hospital wanted my sister and brother in law and took me in order to get them, when the truth is they only moved here because Addie refused to let me come back to Seattle alone.”

“Oh Meredith.” Arizona wrapped her arms around Meredith. “I am so sorry, that’s awful.”

“Yeah.” Meredith sniffled as she pulled back and wiped her face. The movie started so she turned her attention to the screen, but didn’t fight it when Arizona pulled her to lay against her. “This is really nice.”

“It is.” Arizona agreed as she rested her chin on Meredith’s shoulder. They watched the movie in a peaceful silence while they cuddled in the trunk of Meredith’s SUV. When it was over, the intern drove Arizona home and walked her to her door. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I know, I don’t want tonight to end.” Meredith sighed. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely.” Arizona smiled and leaned in to kiss Meredith softly. “Are you sure that you can’t stay the night?”

“All of my stuff is at my house and I have the 6am shift again tomorrow.” Meredith pouted and kissed Arizona again. “You could always get some stuff and come stay with me tonight, but there’s always the possibility that I wake up screaming and then you would be a witness and that would be humiliating.”

“Nightmares are not a reason to be embarrassed.” Arizona promised. “But, if you’re not ready to spend the night together I’ll respect that and just kiss you again.” She smiled as she kissed Meredith deeply and passionately. The younger blonde moaned into her mouth as she melted against her.

“You really know how to kiss.” Meredith giggled as she pulled away with flushed cheeks.

“So do you.” Arizona chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You’re not done seeing me tonight, that is if you want to sleep over.” Meredith bit her lip as Arizona pretended to think it over before quickly throwing a bag together. “Ready to go?”

“More than ready.” Arizona nodded as she took Meredith’s hand and left the apartment building once more.

Chapter Text

Three weeks later Meredith’s and Arizona’s relationship was going great. They often spent nights together either at Arizona’s apartment or at the house that Meredith shared with Addison and Mark. They were still keeping their relationship secret from the rest of the hospital to avoid any rumors that they were only together so the intern could get ahead. Neither one of them minded the secrecy because they enjoyed being in a bubble and having the time to get to know each other better without dealing with outside opinions.

“Mer, time to wake up.” Arizona singsonged as she kissed Meredith's neck.

“Mmm that feels nice.” Meredith sleepily mumbled as she extended her neck to give Arizona move space to plant kisses.

“Come on, we have to go to work.” Arizona laughed and pulled Meredith so she was sitting up.

“Ugh, work.” Meredith groaned. “I’d much rather stay here with you.” She captured Arizona’s lips in a tender and deep kiss.

“I’d prefer that too, but I have tiny humans to save.” Arizona sighed. “You’re not on call tonight are you?”

“Thankfully not.” Meredith giggled as she threw the blanket off of her and got out of bed. “Do you want to come over tonight?”

“That sounds great.” Arizona smiled. “Shower with me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Meredith husked as she wrapped her arms around Arizona’s neck and kissed her neck as they moved towards the bathroom.

Later that morning Meredith was sitting in the basement with Alex filling out charts angrily. “Stupid charts. Stupid scut. Stupid internship. Stupid Bailey. It’s all just stupid.” She grumbled as she put the finished chart down and picked up the next one.

“What did you even do to piss Bailey off this badly? She’s had you on scut for the past week.” Alex noted as he watched Meredith grip the pen so tight that her knuckles were turning white.

“That’s the worst part! I don’t even know what I did and every time I’ve tried to ask she just glares at me and asks if I’m questioning her decisions as the resident in charge of supervising me through my intern year.” Meredith huffed and rolled her eyes. “It’s like she’s trying to pressure me into dropping out of the program, but that won’t happen. I’m a Forbes Montgomery and we don’t let bullies win.” She threw her pen down and stood up and began to storm away.

“Where are you going?” Alex called after Meredith.

“To demand an actual answer to what I consider a reasonable question!” Meredith yelled over her shoulder. Alex jumped off the gurney and chased after her. He attempted to get her to calm down, but next thing he knew the short blonde was standing face to face with Bailey and staring at her with a cold glare.

“Can I help you with something, Montgomery?” Bailey looked Meredith up and down as the intern continued to stare her down with intensity. “Aren’t you supposed to be filling out charts?”

“You mean like I’ve been doing for the past week? You must be a big fan of my penmanship. Or is there another reason why you are trying to sabotage my education?” Meredith raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Are you questioning my decisions?” Bailey asked.

“Yes I am.” Meredith nodded.

“Oh really?” Bailey chuckled. “Well then I guess we have something in common because I’ve been questioning your decisions since the moment you got here. You think you’re untouchable because your sister and brother in law are attendings, but you’re not. You’re just an intern. You’re nothing.”

“I don't even know what you’re talking about. I have never used my sister or my brother in law to get ahead and I never will.” Meredith said firmly.

“What about Dr. Robbins? Are you using her to get ahead?” Bailey asked and watched as Meredith went pale. “I haven’t told anyone about what I saw, but you should really be more careful when you’re in the hospital parking lot, or at the very least get tinted windows.” The blonde turned and walked away as tears started to rise in her eyes. Alex ran after her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“What was that about?” Alex asked softly.

“N-nothing. I should get back to my charts.” Meredith tried to walk around Alex, but he blocked her.

“Secret for a secret?” Alex suggested. Once Meredith nodded he led her back down to the basement. “Alright, my secret is that I hate your brother in law. He’s an egotistical ass who thinks he walks on water and keeps making me get him coffee instead of actually teaching me.”

“Mark definitely doesn’t belong at a teaching hospital.” Meredith giggled. “He’s a great person, but a sucky teacher.”

“That’s an understatement.” Alex snorted. “What’s your secret?”

“The night of the intern mixer I met Arizona at the bar across the street and we hooked up, but we had no idea that we were going to end up working together. We decided to keep seeing each other and have now been together for three weeks. Last week, we were leaving the hospital late at night and were making out in her car and I guess Bailey saw us and has been punishing me ever since.” Meredith explained with a heavy sigh. “This is exactly why we decided to keep our relationship a secret, neither one of us wanted anyone to think that I was using her to get ahead or that she was taking advantage of me because that’s just not true. We genuinely have feelings for each other. Even my sister approves of her and that is not an easy task.”

“Satan approves of Dr. Sunshine? Is she just trying to get on her good side so she can eat her soul?” Alex chuckled.

“Hey! That’s my sister you’re talking about!” Meredith laughed and hit Alex over the head with a chart. “You suck as a friend.”

“No I don’t, you’re lucky to have me as a friend and you know it.” Alex snorted. “Do you like Arizona?”

“I do.” Meredith said softly with a nod. “A lot.”

“Then who cares what Bailey or anyone else thinks? If you like her and she makes you happy, nothing else matters.” Alex said in a sincere tone of voice.

“I wish that was true, but unfortunately the world doesn’t work that way and I’m already known as the intern with a leg up due to who my sister is. If word gets out about me and Arizona it’s going to be a shit show.” Meredith sighed. Alex went to say something but was interrupted by the sound of his pager going off. He looked between his pager and his friend as if trying to decide what was more important at that moment. “Alex, you have to go. I’ll be fine.”

“Dude you say that you’re fine so often that it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Besides, it’s probably just Sloan wanting a coffee refill and I think he would agree that making sure that you’re okay is more important than his bone dry latte.”

“Or what if he has a surgery and wants to let you scrub in? Are you really willing to take that chance?” Meredith countered. “If Bailey finds out that you’re ignoring pages you’ll be stuck on scut with me for the foreseeable future and you don’t deserve that. Go.” Alex sighed as he relented and left the basement. After a few minutes, the blonde finally let her tears fall as it sunk in that Bailey knew about her and Arizona and clearly had no issue punishing her for it. She wiped her tears and went to the surgical board to see if Addison was in surgery, and when she saw that she was, Meredith brought her charts up to the OR gallery to watch her sister operate.

Watching Addison operate was something that never failed to comfort Meredith and help her clear her mind. When she was in college and then med school, the redhead often snuck her baby sister into the gallery to watch her and it quickly became a safe haven for Meredith. She sat in the back row and continued to work on the charts while the sound of her sister’s voice filled the gallery and she allowed herself to get lost in each step of the surgery being performed, her stress melting away. Arizona walked into the gallery and smiled to herself when she saw her girlfriend in the back corner and went to join her.

“Hello Dr. Montgomery.” Arizona whispered to Meredith as she settled in the seat next to her.

“Hello Dr. Robbins.” Meredith didn’t even look up as she continued with her charts. “Did you need anything?”

“Meredith, it’s me.” Arizona chuckled. Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her seat, although there were only two other people in the gallery and they were seated in the front row, she felt like suddenly everyone knew their secret and were whispering about them behind their backs.

“Dr. Robbins, I’m trying to work.” Meredith said a little harsher than intended. Arizona felt like she was physically slapped at the bite in her girlfriend’s voice.

“I apologize, Dr. Montgomery.” Arizona smiled tightly and moved over to another chair, only to leave the gallery a few minutes later. Meredith sighed as she put her charts aside and focused on Addison’s surgery. She zoned out after a couple of minutes as she thought over what Alex had said and about the look on her girlfriend’s face when she snapped at her. The surgery soon ended and the few people sitting in the gallery left, leaving Meredith alone with her thoughts. Addison had noticed her sister sitting in the gallery with a lost expression on her face and went to go check on her. She slid into the chair next to her while the blonde continued to blankly stare ahead.

“Meri.” Addison said softly in order to get Meredith’s attention.

“Hey Addie, that was a cool surgery.” Meredith smiled tightly.

“Really? Because I finished almost half an hour ago.” Addison revealed and watched how Meredith’s eyes widened in shock. “What were you thinking about so deeply?”

“Bailey knows about me and Arizona and she’s had me on scut for the past week to punish me. I didn’t know why she put me on scut, so when I demanded an explanation she told me that I should be more careful in the hospital parking lot or at the very least get tinted windows.” Meredith explained. “Then Alex tried to help, but he got paged and even though he wanted to ignore it and stay with me, I pushed him away. I decided to come up here to clear my head, but then Arizona came up here and I snapped at her.” She blinked back the tears that had begun to form in her eyes as she turned to face Addison. “Why do I insist on pushing everyone away?”

“You don’t push everyone away, if that was true you wouldn’t be talking to me right now.” Addison pointed out.

“You don’t count, you’re my sister.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what to do. I really like Arizona, but Bailey has been making my life hell for a week and the only reason she told me why is because I demanded to know. If I stay with Zona, my education could really start to suffer.”

“I like how Arizona treats you. I know that I was skeptical about the two of you being together, but she treats you the way you deserve to be treated and as a sister, that is enough for me to put all of my fears aside and fully support your relationship.” Addison mused. “So we have a couple of options here; you could mentally torture yourself by ending things with Arizona in hopes that will make Bailey stop punishing you, I could tear Bailey’s head off for causing you to miss out on educational opportunities because of your personal relationship, or you can go to the chief and disclose your relationship with Arizona and tell him that Bailey is mistreating you.”

“I can’t face Richard.” Meredith choked back a sob. “The first thing he said to me after I started working here was that I looked exactly like Ellis. That’s all he sees when he looks at me and I can’t handle that.”

“So are you going to end your relationship with Arizona or am I ripping Bailey’s head off?” Addison asked. “Because what she’s doing is wrong, Meri, it’s really wrong and seeing you so upset really brings out my inner Satan and makes me want to protect you from all the pain and suffering in the world.”

“I think that this is a battle that I have to fight myself.” Meredith sighed. “I can't always depend on you to be there to save me.”

“But you can always depend on me to support you, so tell me what you want to do and I will support whatever decision you make.” Addison smiled softly.

“I don't want to lose Arizona, but I also don’t want Bailey to hold my personal relationship over my head and as long as it’s a secret, I’m just giving her something to bully me with and I’m a Forbes Montgomery. We don’t let bullies win.” Meredith smirked as a plan began to form in her mind.

“That’s your plotting face.” Addison laughed. “Do I even want to know?”

“I need your help, so whether you want to know or not I’m going to tell you.” Meredith giggled as she began to explain to Addison what she was thinking and once she knew that her sister was on board, they left the scrub room.

Addison was standing on the bridge with Arizona, who was becoming increasingly impatient. “Are you going to tell me why you’re insisting on me standing here?”

“Soon.” Addison smiled. “Trust me, you’ll like it.” She looked down at her phone when she got a text from Meredith.

“Addison, look I don’t know what’s going on but I’m really not in the mood.” Arizona sighed and heard the song that played at the end of Never Been Kissed. The song was quiet at first, but started to get louder. Addison turned her around so she was face to face with Meredith who was holding a bouquet of pink carnations while Alex stood behind her holding a small radio. “What's going on?”

“What’s going on is I was a jerk to you today and I am really sorry for that. I push people away. Arizona, I’m an avoider. When there’s something going on I get caught up in my own head and I don’t let people in, but I want to do things differently with you. You make me want to do things differently. I don’t want to hide anymore because I’m falling for you and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it.” Meredith held the flowers out to Arizona who took them with a smile.

“You remembered that carnations are my favorite flower?” Arizona beamed.

“I did.” Meredith nodded. “You are important to me, of course I remembered. Can I kiss you?”

“I would never say no to you kissing me.” Arizona chuckled and pulled Meredith closer to her and kissed her deeply. A crowd had gathered, but neither woman cared as they were too caught up in each other. Alex and Addison both watched with smiles and high fived each other.

“Okay, Arizona that’s still my little sister, I really don’t need to watch you swallow her face!” Addison laughed after a couple minutes had passed with Arizona and Meredith still kissing each other. They pulled back and just smiled at each other until Richard came out of his office and pushed through the crowd.

“Okay people, this is a hospital! Not a romantic comedy! Get back to work!” Richard yelled at the crowd and watched them all walk away, leaving behind only Meredith, Arizona, Alex, and Addison. “You are aware that typically it’s frowned upon for interns to date attendings, correct?”

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less about what’s frowned upon. Arizona makes me happy and I have the support of my sister, my brother in law, and my person.” Meredith turned to smile at Alex. “As long as I have their support, I don’t care about anything else.”

“Well alright then.” Richard chuckled. “Just no favoritism, Dr. Robbins. All interns deserve a fair chance to experience pediatrics.”

“No favoritism.” Arizona echoed. “But I haven’t had Meredith on my service in almost two weeks and I do have an appendectomy in an hour, can she scrub in?”

“I’m only willing to scrub in if Alex can, my lovely brother in law has been having him do nothing but get coffee all day. He deserves the learning opportunity just as much as I do.” Meredith spoke up.

“Sure, both of you can scrub in.” Richard nodded. “And someone tell Sloan to get his own coffee!”

“I’ll tell him.” Addison chuckled as Richard turned to walk back to his office. “I’m really proud of you Meri.”

“It’s like you taught me when I was a kid, always let the bully throw the first punch, but never let them throw the last. Bailey threw the first punch by putting me on scut to punish me for my personal relationship, but now that she can’t hold it above my head and Arizona and I have the chief’s support, I highly doubt she’ll be throwing anymore.” Meredith interlaced her fingers with Arizona’s. “And Zona, I am really sorry for how I treated you in the scrub room, but it turns out that Bailey saw us making out in your car last week and she accused me of only being with you for my own gain when in reality, surgery has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”

“It’s water under the bridge, Tinkerbell.” Arizona chuckled and kissed Meredith softly.

“Did you just call her Tinkerbell?” Alex chuckled.

“She’s short and blonde.” Arizona shrugged.

“Mer calls her snickerdoodle.” Addison snorted.

“Well it’s her favorite cookie!” Meredith defended with a huff. “Anyways, thank you both for your help. Addie, why don’t you go tell buttmunch that he’s going to have to get his own coffee since Alex has other plans.”

“Will do.” Addison laughed as she watched Meredith, Arizona, and Alex walk away.

Chapter Text

Meredith and Arizona were standing outside of the intern locker room having an extended goodbye before the intern had to go change into her scrubs. “I missed you last night.” The younger woman pouted adorably as her girlfriend just chuckled.

“I know, I missed you too. A lot.” Arizona agreed as she kissed the pout off of Meredith’s face. “But I just didn't feel right leaving Casey’s mom here alone while her ten year old was entering the realm of brain death. She was confused and no one should go through that alone.”

“I agree.” Meredith smiled softly. “Honestly, how much you care about your patients is one of the reasons I like you so much.”

“Even if it means that sometimes my ultra adorable girlfriend has to sleep alone?” Arizona laughed.

“Even then.” Meredith confirmed with a nod. “Alright, I need to get in there. I’ll see you at lunch if our schedules align?”

“Absolutely.” Arizona kissed Meredith softly before watching the intern walk into the locker room before she headed to the elevator.

“So how is your little romance with Dr. Robbins going?” Izzie snarked. “You do know that you’re an intern and not an attending right?”

“And you do know that just because your mouth works, doesn’t mean you should use it. Right?” Meredith countered back as she walked up to Izzie and fixed her with the Satan glare. “Anything else to say about my personal life, Isobel?”

“Frankly, I think it’s awesome.” Cristina spoke up. “Barbie’s just jealous that not even her Bethany Whisper ads being plastered around the hospital have resulted in anyone wanting to bang her.” She laughed as she smirked at Izzie. “Green is not a good color on you.”

“Fuck you Cristina.” Izzie rolled her eyes. “Come on George, we don’t have to associate with trash.”

“Izzie, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way,” George awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “But I don’t like sitting around and listening to you talk shit about Meredith solely because you’re mad that she’s had more opportunities than you. We don’t get to choose our family. She didn’t ask to be born into the family that she was, but that doesn’t mean that she can’t be appreciative of the support and opportunities that came her way. If you want to be friends with me because you like me that’s one thing, but if you just want a minion to trash talk with, I’m sorry but that’s not who I am. That’s not who I was raised to be.”

“George, she told her sister not to let me scrub in on surgeries and to treat me like shit!” Izzie shrieked. Meredith’s eyes widened before she smirked.

“Did you happen to say something negative about me either around my sister or her husband?” Meredith asked Izzie with a raised eyebrow. “Because I didn’t tell Addie to treat you badly at all. I wouldn’t do that, I can fight my own battles.” The tall blonde thought for a minute before groaning.

“It is possible that she heard me ranting about how you clearly get special treatment and probably only got into this program because you’re a Forbes Montgomery.” Izzie admitted while shifting uncomfortably on her feet. “You really didn’t tell her to treat me badly?”

“No, I didn’t.” Meredith said softly. “I’m a big girl and I can fight my own battles without going to my big sister for help, but that doesn’t mean that Addison isn’t extremely protective of me and if she hears someone talking badly about me that she won’t react. I can talk to her and tell her to stop.”

“You would do that for me? Even though I have been terrible to you?” Izzie tilted her head as confusion completely flooded her. “Why?”

“Because no matter how awful you are to me, that doesn’t mean your education should suffer. Addie just doesn’t believe in rewarding bullies, especially if I’m the one being bullied.” Meredith explained. Bailey entered the locker room and the interns all scampered over to her.

“Stevens, Sloan. O’Malley, the pit. Yang, Altman. Karev, Robbins. Montgomery, Montgomery-Sloan.” Bailey directed and then stopped Meredith before she could run out. “You clearly didn’t like what I had to say about your relationship, if your actions from last week are anything to go by.”

“You were implying things that were so untrue that they bordered on offensive. I was only hiding my relationship so people didn’t think I was trying to get ahead, but you made me realize that hiding it would just make it seem more suspicious if people did find out. Thank you for that.” Meredith said sincerely.

“I was wrong to put you on scut without telling you why when my tone made it clear that I was punishing you.” Bailey admitted with a heavy sigh.

“I have a feeling that that’s as close as I will get to an apology from you, so I’ll take it.” Meredith smiled. “Can I go?”

“You can.” Bailey nodded and watched as Meredith ran off. Alex was waiting around the corner.

“You okay?” Alex asked as he looked Meredith over.

“Yes, you didn’t have to wait for me.” Meredith rolled her eyes but a small smile tugged at her lips.

“I wanted to make sure that you were okay and that Bailey wasn’t giving you a hard time. Besides, I don’t think Robbins will fault me for being late if I’m late because I was checking on you.” Alex chuckled as he and Meredith stepped onto the elevator. “She happens to like you, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh I’ve noticed.” Meredith smirked. “I like her too.” Alex got off the elevator first and then the blonde got off of the next floor and found Addison at the nurses station. “Dr. Montgomery-Sloan, I’m on your service today.”

“Excellent, Dr. Montgomery.” Addison smiled and handed Meredith the chart in her hand. “Congenital diaphragmatic hernia. You’ll be presenting.” She led Meredith to the patient's room. “Dr. Montgomery?”

“Molly Thompson, 22 years old, 32 weeks pregnant. Transferred from Mercy West when an ultrasound diagnosed the baby with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia.” Meredith read from the chart.

“Hello Molly, I’m Dr. Addison Montgomery-Sloan.” Addison greeted Molly with a warm smile.

“Montgomery-Sloan? And you called her Dr. Montgomery? Any relation?” Molly asked.

“She’s my sister.” Addison nodded with a proud smile.

“You’re supposed to be the best and if she’s your sister, would it be safe to assume that she’s also the best?” Molly asked nervously.

“I may be biased because she’s my baby sister, but yes I do believe that she is the best intern in this hospital and she definitely is the intern with the most knowledge in my field since I was her personal tutor.” Addison chuckled. “You’re in good hands, I promise.”

“I don't mean to put any pressure on you, but this is my baby carrying my grandchild so I really hope you are the best and I really hope your sister is too.” Molly’s mother Susan said.

“Mom, you’re kind of threatening the doctors. Don’t threaten the doctors.” Molly groaned.

“Sorry.” Susan smiled sheepishly. “My husband tells me I have to not be such a mother lion because Molly’s a grown woman and has her own life and everything, but I can’t help myself because like I said, she’s my baby.”

“I get it, I’m our mother’s youngest child and she is really protective of me.” Meredith smiled understandably. “She’s in Connecticut but we still talk at least once a week. I didn’t call once when I was supposed to so she called my sister to make sure that I was okay.”

“Meanwhile our mother only calls me when she’s worried about this one.” Addison laughed. “Not that I blame her because I am also really protective of her so I don’t take offense to it.”

“She also is the best.” Meredith promised with a smile. “And I’ve learned a lot from her so while I would never say that I’m the best intern, I will say that I know the treatment for a congenital diaphragmatic hernia like the back of my hand because I’ve watched my sister do the surgery before.”

“So you can fix this?” Molly looked towards Addison.

“Yes.” Addison nodded. “We’ll insert a scope into your uterus and then inflate a balloon in the baby’s airway which should help stimulate the lungs to grow. It’s not going to be easy on either of you, but I do have a strong record with this surgery.”

“Okay.” Molly nodded while Susan looked at Meredith carefully. Addison gestured for her sister to follow her out into the hall.

“Make sure you get her to MRI and get me the results as soon as you can.” Addison directed.

“Of course.” Meredith smiled and then noticed a man approaching them. She felt like she knew him from somewhere, but she couldn’t place them. “Sir? Can I help you find something?” The man just stared at her, causing Addison to get both suspicious and uncomfortable.

“Shadow, go wait in my office.” Addison looked at Meredith with an almost pleading expression. The blonde nodded and walked away. “Who are you?”

“I’m Thatcher Grey, I was married to Ellis Grey. That was Meredith, wasn’t it?.” Thatcher explained. “She looks a little like Ellis at that age. She must favor her father more in looks though because she looks a lot like you.”

“What are you doing here?” Addison asked.

“My daughter Molly was transferred here from Mercy West.” Thatcher revealed. “Are you her doctor?”

“Yes, so is Meredith.” Addison sighed. “Excuse me.” She smiled tightly and then practically ran towards her office.

“I know him.” Meredith looked up when Addison walked into the office. “I know that I know him, I just don’t know where I know him from.”

“His name is Thatcher Grey. He was Ellis’ husband. That’s how you know him.” Addison sat next to Meredith and kissed the top of her sister’s head when she laid her head on her shoulder. “He’s Molly’s father. Do you want to stay on the case or would you be more comfortable being reassigned?”

“I’m fine staying on the case. Thatcher isn’t more than someone who used to pour my cereal in the morning.” Meredith shrugged before standing up. “I’ll go schedule Molly’s MRI and find you when I get the results.”

“Meri.” Addison said softly as she stood up. “I love you and if at any time this case becomes too much for you, please tell me. It will not make you weak.”

“Thanks Addie. I love you too.” Meredith hugged Addison tightly. “By the way, are you really keeping Izzie out of your surgeries and being extra Satan-like towards her because you heard her talk badly about me?”

“Well, that’s one of the reasons.” Addison chuckled. “The reason I haven’t let her scrub in is because the one time I did, instead of paying attention to what I was doing she was flirting with the anesthesiologist. Why should I let her scrub in if she’s not going to take advantage of the opportunity to learn anything? I don’t like how she talks about you and I can be more Satany towards her than I am to others sometimes because of it, but you’re a big girl and if you know how to deal with bullies, you don’t need your big sister fighting your battles.”

“No, but the reason I can fight my own battles and the reason that I know how to deal with bullies is because I have the best big sister in the world.” Meredith beamed.

“You flatter me.” Addison laughed lightly and watched as Meredith left the office. After scheduling Molly’s MRI she went back to Molly’s patient room with a wheelchair where Susan and Thatcher both were. “Uh, I have to take Molly for an MRI, but I’ll have her back soon.”

“Okay. Make sure that you take good care of her.” Susan smiled and watched Meredith help Molly into a wheelchair.

“I will.” Meredith promised as she turned to leave the room. Once the door shut behind her, Susan turned to Thatcher.

“Are you going to talk to her?” Susan asked.

“About what? I haven’t seen her since she was five. I didn’t even say goodbye before I left because I was so angry and taken aback by the news that I wasn’t her real father.” Thatcher sighed.

“Thatcher, for five years you helped raise her and then you left and the next day she found her mother’s dead body. That had to have left a mark. You should talk to her.” Susan urged.

“Didn’t Molly say that Meredith referred to her sister’s mother as her mother?” Thatcher pointed out. “Honey, it’s possible that she blocked out what happened to Ellis and if I talk to her and bring it up, it could do more harm than good. If she wants to talk to me I have no issues whatsoever with speaking to her, but I don’t want to cause any harm.”

“I guess you have a good point.” Susan admitted with a heavy sigh. “I just know that losing Meredith was hard for you and I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“She’s not my child, but for five years I was her father and I want the best for her. Bringing up the past is probably not in her best interest. If I talk to her and it makes her upset, I will regret that. I won’t ever regret not talking to her if it means not causing her harm.” Thatcher kissed Susan’s lips. “I’m going to go get a coffee, do you want one?”

“Sure.” Susan nodded and watched as Thatcher left. Meredith waited while Molly was in the MRI and then went in when she was done and helped her back into the wheelchair. When they got back to her patient room, Thatcher still wasn’t back. The blonde helped the younger woman into her bed.

“I am going to bring your results to Dr. Montgomery-Sloan and then I will come back to check on you in a little while.” Meredith smiled as she left the room. On her way to find Addison, she saw Thatcher and walked up to him. “I remember you.”

“Do you want to go somewhere and talk?” Thatcher asked. “I didn’t want to say anything to you just in case it would bring up any bad memories, but if you want to talk I am more than happy to talk to you.”

“I have to bring Molly’s MRI results to my sister, but I think that I would like to talk to you.” Meredith bit her lip while she thought for a second. “Can you meet me back here in five minutes?”

“I can, I’ll just bring my wife her coffee and then come back.” Thatcher nodded. Meredith turned to go to Addison’s office and handed the MRI report to her sister. “Molly’s results. Do you need anything or can I go?”

“Let me guess, you want to go find Arizona for some PDA?” Addison teased with a smile.

“Actually, I was going to talk to Thatcher.” Meredith confessed. “There’s some things that I would like to know and the only people that could tell me are either him or Richard Webber and honestly, I’d rather ask Thatcher because he didn’t witness me sitting in an ambulance next to Ellis’ dead body.”

“Are you sure about this Meri?” Addison’s eyes showed genuine concern as she searched Meredith’s face.

“Bizzy is my mom, but Ellis will always be the woman who gave birth to me and I want to know more about her. I googled her, but all I could find were things about her medical accomplishments and her suicide, not about who she was as a person. I have questions and I have an opportunity for answers.” Meredith explained.

“Will you come see me as soon as you’re done?” Addison asked softly.

“Of course.” Meredith nodded and hugged Addison. “Thank you for understanding.”

“You’re my baby sister Meri, if you have questions then you deserve answers and I hate that I can’t give you those answers, but if you have an opportunity to get them, you should take it.” Addison pulled back and cupped Meredith’s cheeks gently with a soft smile. “Bizzy would understand too. She would encourage you to take this opportunity, as long as it’s not going to hurt you.”

“I know.” Meredith smiled. “No matter what, Bizzy will always be my mom. Nothing I learn about Ellis will change that. Are you going to be in your office for a while?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right here.” Addison nodded. Meredith hugged her sister once more quickly before turning to leave. With a deep breath, the blonde walked back to where she had left Thatcher and found the man waiting for her. “Would you mind if we went outside to talk?”

“Lead the way.” Thatcher chuckled. Once they were seated on a bench outside of the hospital Meredith let out a shaky breath.

“What was she like?” Meredith whispered. “Ellis, what was she like?”

“You don’t remember her?” Thatcher asked softly.

“Not really.” Meredith admitted. “I remember the night killed herself, but anything before that is fuzzy. I think about what happened that I blocked out any memories I did have of her because it was too painful to remember her, but I can’t help but be curious.”

“Ellis was driven and confident. Very stubborn.” Thatcher chuckled. “When we met, she would talk about how she was going to be the world’s best general surgeon. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to have kids, but when she found out that she was pregnant she was ecstatic. I’ll never forget when her maternity leave ended, she cried all morning. She didn’t want to leave you. Ellis always said she was going to win awards, but once you were born Meredith she didn’t care about that anymore. We put you in daycare, but Ellis hated being away from you so she used to take you to the hospital sometimes, just so she could see you in between surgeries. You were everything to her.”

“If that’s true, why would she kill herself when she knew that I would find her body?” Meredith’s voice was quiet and shaky as she tried to fight the tears building in her eyes. “Why would she put me through that?”

“I think that she felt guilty and the guilt stopped her from thinking straight.” Thatcher mused. “I don’t think that when she killed herself that she was really thinking about who would find her body, but I am positive that she loved you. She proved that every single day. Every time she had a day off, we would go out for breakfast. There was this restaurant across from the Space Needle, you loved their chocolate chip waffles. Then we would go to the park so you could ride the carousel. Anything you wanted to do, we did it. Ellis would always bring a camera so she could capture every single moment.”

“I remember that restaurant.” Meredith swallowed roughly. “I just don’t remember Ellis being there.”

“After she died and you went to Connecticut, I went back to the house to clear it out. I have pictures and some of Ellis’ things if you would like them.” Thatcher offered.

“Richard Webber says that I look just like her. Is that true?” Meredith looked at Thatcher with tears streaming down her face.

“You do have some of her features, but honestly other than the hair and eyes you look a lot like your sister so you must favor your father when it comes to looks, but yes, you do look a bit like her.” Thatcher smiled. “Meredith, I’m really sorry for what she put you through. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I have to go.” Meredith stood up and wiped her face on the sleeve of her coat. “Thank you for talking to me. I’ll be in shortly to check on Molly.” She turned and ran back into the hospital and took the stairs back up to the floor that Addison’s office was in. When the redhead saw her sister’s face she immediately took her into her arms.

“Shh, you’re okay Meri, my little shadow, you’re okay.” Addison cooed as she scratched Meredith’s scalp. “You’re okay.”

“She loved me.” Meredith sobbed. “Thatcher said that Ellis really loved me. He said that he has pictures and some of her things, if I want them.”

“Do you want them?” Addison asked.

“I don’t know.” Meredith admitted. “Part of me does, but there’s this other part of me that doesn’t.”

“Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.” Addison promised. “Arizona’s in surgery right now. Why don’t you go sit in the gallery and watch? I’ll check on Molly and do her prep. I’ll page you when I’m ready to take her to the OR.”

“Thank you.” Meredith smiled and wiped her face. “You’re the best sister.”

“I know I am.” Addison chuckled and kissed the top of Meredith’s head.

That night Arizona went home with Meredith. They were cuddling in the younger woman’s bed watching a movie while the older blonde played with her girlfriend’s hair.

“Your surgery today was amazing.” Meredith looked up at Arizona with a smile. “You’re amazing.” She kissed her girlfriend softly.

“Your surgery was amazing too.” Arizona smiled.

“I didn’t really do anything.” Meredith shrugged.

“Maybe not, but one day you’ll be the one performing the surgeries and I know that you’ll be amazing.” Arizona kissed Meredith again. “You’re going to be an incredible surgeon, Tinker Bell.”

“Thank you snickerdoodle.” Meredith beamed and laid her head on Arizona’s chest. “Do you think that I should take Thatcher up on his offer?”

“I think that you should do whatever feels right to you.” Arizona said after a long moment of thought. “If you want some of Ellis’ things and some pictures from your life in Seattle then I think that you should call him, but if you don’t then that is perfectly okay.”

“I don't think that I’m ready to see pictures of my life with her.” Meredith whispered. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that, but I am happy that I talked to Thatcher and learned more about her.”

“I’m happy that he could do that for you.” Arizona snuggled closer to Meredith as they turned back to the movie.

Chapter Text

Arizona woke up one morning a couple of weeks after the intern had talked to Thatcher and shook Meredith awake, smiling when her girlfriend groaned and hid her face in the pillow. “Baby, you have to get up. We have to go to work.”

“I’m not going.” Meredith grumbled.

“Are you sick?” Arizona asked with concern while pulling the pillow away from Meredith and feeling her forehead and cheeks for signs of a fever. “You don’t have a fever.”

“I’m not sick, I’m just not going.” Meredith sighed as she grabbed the pillow back from Arizona. “I’ll be here when you get off work if you want to come back and cuddle me.”

“Tinker Bell, you can’t just not go to work. Saving lives isn’t exactly optional.” Arizona chuckled.

“Yes it is. Besides, the other interns can save lives. I’m not going.” Meredith insisted. “I have a feeling.”

“A feeling?” Arizona asked skeptically.

“Yes.” Meredith nodded. “A feeling and because of that, I’m not going to work.” She turned her back to Arizona and shut her eyes. The older blonde sighed and quietly left the room and knocked on Addison and Mark’s door. The plastic surgeon opened it with a smile.

“Good morning, Dr. Sunshine.” Mark laughed. “How can I help you?”

“I need Addison. Mer says she’s not going to work because she has a feeling.” Arizona explained. Addison walked over to the door as she tucked her shirt into her skirt.

“A feeling?” Addison’s eyebrows scrunched together.

“That’s what she said.” Arizona shrugged. “Then she turned over so her back was to me so instead of fighting with her, I just came to get you.”

“Addie, it is that day.” Mark reminded his wife. “But in all the time I’ve known her, I’ve never known her to refuse to get out of bed because of it.”

“She usually prefers to stay busy, but it could be because she’s back in Seattle and everything is a little more real.” Addison rationalized. “I’ll go talk to her.” She carefully stepped around Arizona and went next door to Meredith’s room.

“I’m confused, what is today?” Arizona asked Mark.

“It’s the anniversary of when Mer found Ellis’ body.” Mark explained. Arizona’s eyes widened as she let out a heavy breath. “Fuck.”

“It’s also the anniversary of when she met Addie and their dad, so there’s at least something positive.” Mark shrugged. “But yeah, fuck indeed.”

“I hear that you have a feeling?” Addison asked Meredith as she sat down on her little sister’s bed.

“Yes.” Meredith turned to look at Addison.

“What kind of feeling?” Addison asked.

“Like I might die.” Meredith deadpanned.

“Today? Tomorrow? In fifty years? We’re all going to die eventually, Meri, but we can’t just lay in bed and wait for the grim reaper.” Addison smiled softly as she brushed Meredith’s hair away from her face. “Aren’t you on Cardio this week? You could end up in a cool surgery.”

“I do not care about surgery.” Meredith groaned. “I am not going to work. I have a feeling. Plus, my conditioner decided to stop working and I think that I have brittle bones. So I’m just going to lay here in this bed and feel like I might die today.”

“Do you need me to be a motherly sister or a sister sister?” Addison asked as she laid down next to Meredith.

“Which one will leave and let me lay here and bask in my self pity?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Is this because of what today is?” Addison’s voice was soft as she gazed at Meredith with concern.

“No, this is not an Ellis thing.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “I feel like I might die today and if I get out of this bed and go to work my chances of dying increase because if I didn’t mention, I’m pretty sure that I have brittle bones. I could break my leg and die.”

“Okay, that’s it.” Addison pulled the blanket off of Meredith and pushed her off of the bed. She smirked as she looked down on the floor where her sister was glaring at her. “Look at that! You don’t have brittle bones so you won’t die from breaking your leg!”

“I hate you.” Meredith grumbled.

“You love me.” Addison laughed as she stood up and walked over to where Meredith was laying on the floor and helped her to her feet. “I’ll stop after work and buy you some new conditioner, okay?”

“Okay.” Meredith sighed heavily. “This isn’t an Ellis thing.”

“I believe you.” Addison nodded.

“I just feel like I’m going to die today.” Meredith repeated as she walked over to her closet.

“You’re not going to die.” Addison promised.

“How do you know that?” Meredith turned to Addison with tired eyes.

“I just do.” Addison smiled softly. “Do you want me to send Arizona back in?”

“Yes please.” Meredith whispered with a nod. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” Addison kissed Meredith’s forehead and then walked out of the room and found Arizona waiting in the hall.

“Is she okay?” Arizona asked.

“She’s out of bed and getting dressed, so I don’t know if she’s okay, but she’s going to work.” Addison sighed. “Apparently she feels like she’s going to die today, but she also claimed that she had brittle bones so there’s that.” She added with a shrug. “She was asking for you.”

“Thanks Addison. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I figured it would be best to go to you.” Arizona smiled at the redhead.

“You did the right thing, and that’s what I’m here for.” Addison smiled back at Arizona as she walked back into her own bedroom. The blonde walked back into Meredith’s room and saw her girlfriend buttoning her jeans.

“So you’re going to work after all I hear?” Arizona chuckled.

“Well Addie pushed me out of bed so I figured she wasn’t giving me much of a choice.” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“She pushed you out of bed?” Arizona gasped. “Well, that was rude.”

“Her way of proving that I don’t have brittle bones.” Meredith shrugged with a giggle. She walked over to Arizona and kissed her lightly. “Don’t worry, my sister would never hurt me.”

“I know she wouldn’t, I don’t know if you know this, but she kind of loves you.” Arizona laughed. “Even if she does push you out of bed.”

“How could she not love me, I’m the best thing that ever happened to her.” Meredith giggled as Arizona rushed to get dressed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut into your getting ready time.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Arizona smiled. “I don’t take nearly as long to get ready as your sister does so it’s fine if I get ready a little late.”

“Why do you think she gets up so early?” Meredith snorted. “If she woke up at the same time as us she’d be an hour late.”

“Very true.” Arizona laughed as she finished getting dressed. A little while later Meredith was in the locker room and her gut feeling that she was going to die had only gotten stronger.

“I haven’t been in the OR in two days. I’m getting some OR time today or I’m going to go insane.” Cristina groaned.

“You’re already pretty insane.” Izzie smirked.

“Oh whatever Barbie.” Cristina rolled her eyes. Alex walked over to Meredith and tapped her on the shoulder to get the zoned out blonde’s attention.

“What’s wrong with you?” Alex asked Meredith.

“I have a feeling that I’m going to die today.” Meredith sighed. “I wanted to stay home but Addison is evil and said no. On the plus side she’s going to buy me some new conditioner after work so I guess she’s not too bad.”

“You have a feeling that you’re going to die?” Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “What does that even mean?”

“It means that I have a gut feeling that I’m going to die today. As in no more Meredith because I will be nothing but a corpse.” Meredith explained.

“You’re not going to die.” Alex said firmly.

“That’s what everyone keeps saying.” Meredith muttered as Bailey walked into the locker room. All of the interns walked over to her.

“Yang, Montgomery, and Karev go out to the ambulance bay. There’s an incoming trauma. Stevens, you’re with Robbins and O’Malley, you’re with Montgomery-Sloan. She has a laboring mom who I hear wants ice chips, have fun.” Bailey handed out their assignments and watched as they all ran off.

“What do you think the trauma is?” Cristina asked as she, Alex, and Meredith stood out at the ambulance bay.

“Since I’m here, probably something that will end up killing me. Bailey sent me to my death.” Meredith smiled sarcastically. “She’s so sweet.”

“What is she talking about?” Cristina looked over to Alex.

“She has a feeling that she’s going to die today.” Alex filled Cristina in.

“Yes, and that feeling has just gotten stronger since we’ve been standing out here.” Meredith added.

“Mer, you’re not going to die.” Cristina said seriously.

“Everyone keeps saying that, but no one really knows that.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “The fact is that a lot of the time we don’t really know when someone’s going to die. They just die.”

“Well that’s positive.” Cristina snickered.

“I’m a little dark and twisty.” Meredith giggled as the ambulance pulled up. Inside was a man with a chest wound and a paramedic with her hand inside the wound. The man’s wife was screaming hysterically as she followed the doctor’s inside. They brought the patient to a trauma wound and paged Dr. Altman who breezed into the room a moment later.

“What do we got?” Teddy asked as she walked in the room. The cardio surgeon winced as the woman’s screams registered. “Yang, Karev take her outside and try to calm her down. I only need one intern and since Montgomery’s wrist is being held by the semiconscious patient I’m going to keep her.” Cristina and Alex nodded and practically pulled the still screaming woman out of the trauma room while Teddy looked towards Meredith. “Montgomery?”

“James Carlson, age 46. Paramedics found him unconscious and bleeding. Mechanisms of the injury are unknown, but he has a large sucking chest wound and as you heard, a wife with very healthy lungs.” Meredith explained.

“Vitals?” Teddy asked.

“Tachycardic in the 140’s. BP holding in the 90’s.” Meredith answered.

“How’s his respiratory effort?” Teddy prompted.

“Absent breath sounds on the right. Air bubbling at the wound. He’s shocky and a little cyanotic.” Meredith responded.

My wife was…” James’ eyes started to droop as he tried to explain, his wife still screaming on the other side of the door.

“Okay, let’s get him intubated and place an occlusive dressing on the wound. Now you…” Teddy looked at the paramedic who’s hand was in James’ chest.

“Hannah. Hannah Davies.” Hannah filled in.

“Hannah, why is your hand inside my patient?” Teddy asked.

“For the record, I told her not to.” Larry, another paramedic, spoke up.

“I tried to tamponade the wound with gauze and pressure, but only my hand would stop the bleeding. Every time I move he starts bleeding out.” Hannah explained. “Can I take my hand out now?”

“You don’t stick your hand in a patient when you don’t know how he was injured. You don’t stick your hand in a patient at all!” Larry exclaimed.

“Yeah, thanks Larry! I got that now!” Hannah snapped.

“Get out.” Teddy opened the door and motioned for Larry to leave.

“She gets to stay?” Larry asked incredulously.

“She has her hand inside of my patient and you’re upsetting her, so get out.” Teddy stated firmly. Larry sighed and left the room.

“Thank you.” Hannah flashed Teddy a small smile.

“Don’t thank me yet.” Teddy sighed. “You have your finger on a bleeder and Mr. Carlson is running out of time. So, that means that you have won an all expense paid trip to the OR. Dr. Montgomery, let’s get them up to the OR and let’s make it quick.” They moved the gurney out into the hall where James’ wife was still screaming. “Karev, Yang! Shut her up and find out what happened! We’re going to the OR!”

“She’s been going for twenty minutes. That must be some sort of record.” Alex snorted.

“I wish that her husband grasped onto my wrist so I could go to the OR.” Cristina rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Mer, but I’m also insanely jealous.”

“How are we going to shut her up?” Alex gestured towards Mrs. Carlson.

“I don’t know, but I can’t wait to see you figure it out.” Cristina smirked At Alex who rolled his eyes and walked over to the screaming woman.

“Ma’am. Ma’am. Mrs. Carlson… Are you injured? I need you to try and calm down. Mrs. Carlson? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?” Alex screamed loudly in Mrs. Carlson’s face and she finally stopped screaming. “Good. Okay. Now, can you tell me what happened to your husband?” He guided her over to a bed to check her out and she sat down.

“How are you doing over there?” Mereidht looked at Hannah while waiting for Teddy to finish scrubbing in.

“My hand is getting numb and this whole ‘insides are bloody and squishy’ thing is so not good for my gag reflex. But I’m good. Is this okay? Me being in here like this?” Hannah sighed.

“Once Dr. Altman scrubs in, she’ll have you remove your hand and then you can go and we’ll fix Mr. Carlson.” Meredith explained with a kind smile as the feeling in her stomach got stronger. She did her best to ignore it, but it felt as if there was a giant rock in her stomach.

“Good.” Hannah nodded. “I know how much medicine I know and it’s just not enough to never be allowed in an OR. It’s my second week as a paramedic. I got out of school about a month ago.”

“I haven’t been doing this that long either.” Meredith shrugged.

“Talk about on the job training, huh?” Hannah chuckled.

“All of this blood and none of it’s hers?” Olivia asked Alex, shocked.

“No, she’s fine. Acute anxiety attack. Give her two diazepam PO to calm her.” Alex directed.

“Is she in shock?” Olivia questioned.

“I’ll say.” Mrs. Carlson scoffed.

“Can you tell us exactly what happened?” Cristina asked Mrs. Carlson.

“You mean the shock part? It was shocking. I’m shocked. You tell my husband that when I get my hands on him, he is a dead man? Dead. Do you hear me? Scaring me like this.” Mrs. Carlson shook her head as Olivia walked back over with the medication Alex ordered.

“Mrs. Carlson, we need to know exactly how your husband was injured. Can you please tell us?” Alex turned when he heard someone yelling.

“Mindy? Mindy? Are you here?” Paul yelled as he walked through the emergency room.

“I’m over here! You moron!” Mrs. Carlson yelled back.

“How’s James doing?” Paul ran over to where Mrs. Carlson was sitting.

“Oh, he’s bleeding all over the place. The girl in the ambulance put her hand inside of him, that’s how he’s doing!” Mrs. Carlson exclaimed angrily as she glared at Paul.

“What are you yelling at me for?” Paul asked.

“Because you and James are idiots! Playing like eight year olds when you’re both grown men!” Mrs. Carlson rolled her eyes.

“We don’t play. We reenact.” Paul corrected.

“You play. You put on costumes, you build your stupid toys and you play!” Mrs. Carlson scoffed.

“We reenact.” Paul insisted.

“Nobody reenacts World War Two! You moron!” Mrs. Carlson sat up and slapped Paul upside the head.

“Can someone please tell us what happened?” Cristina snapped.

“You want to know what happened?” Mrs. Carlson turned towards Cristina and Alex. “What happened is my husband and his moron best friend…”

“Can you stop calling me a moron?” Paul cut Mrs. Carlson off, but she just rolled her eyes before continuing.

“My husband and his MORON best friend decided to build some kind of big gun.” Mrs. Carlson stressed the work moron as she continued to glare at Paul.

“Yeah, an exact replica of the finest Allied anti tank weapon of World War Two: The M9A1 bazooka.” Paul smiled proudly.

“So they put on their stupid costumes and they go out into the backyard and they try to shoot the thing!” Mrs. Carlson yelled angrily.

“I’m the gunner, James is the loader. We followed the specifications exactly. It’s a sixty millimeter, one and a half pound rocket. It’s a beauty.” Paul bragged.

“It didn’t work.” Mrs. Carlson huffed. “So, like an idiot, my husband has to go and stand in front of his big gun to see what went wrong. That’s when the stupid toy starts working.”

“Stop calling it a toy!” Paul yelled.

“It’s taking up half of my garage. I’ll call it whatever I want!” Mindy yelled back.

“Whoa, wait a minute.” Alex stepped in between Paul and Mrs. Carlson. “He shot himself with a bazooka?”

“Yeah.” Mrs. Carlson nodded.

“He shot himself with a bazooka?” Cristina asked again, her eyes wide.

“Like I said, morons, the pair of them!” Mrs. Carlson rolled her eyes.

“Was there an explosion?” Alex asked in an urgent tone.

“Huh?” Paul’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Was there an explosion?” Cristina repeated.

“No. Why?” Paul’s eyes began to widen as the realization began to wash over him. “Oh, crap.”

“Oh crap is right.” Cristina sighed and turned to look at Alex. “I’m no longer jealous of Mer. Let’s go.” The other intern nodded and the pair took off running. They ignored both Mrs. Carlson’s questions about what was going on as well as Richard yelling at them to slow down.

“Alright everyone, I’m going to do a thoracotomy and Hannah is going to pull her hand out. Dr. Montgomery is going to clamp the bleeder when we have more exposure.” Teddy explained. “Ready?”

“More than ready.” Hannah nodded anxiously.

“Scalpel.” Teddy requested with her hand out. “Okay, one the count of three. One… Two…” Just as she was about to say three the door to the OR bursted open to reveal Alex and Cristina.

“Dr. Altman? We need to speak to you.” Alex panted as he tried to catch his breath.

“I am in surgery Karev.” Teddy turned towards the two interns.

“You want to talk to us.” Cristina cut in. “Trust me.” Teddy sighed as she walked over to the door.

“What’s going on?” Teddy asked.

“Was it through and through?” Alex asked in a low tone.

“What?” Teddy’s face scrunched up.

“The wound on James Carlson.” Cristina explained. “Was it through and through?”

“No.” Teddy shook her head. “There’s just an entry, no exit. Why?”

“He shot himself with a bazooka. The explosive could still be inside of him.” Alex informed Teddy who turned around to look at Hannah.

“Hannah, what do you feel inside of Mr. Carlson? What is your hand touching?” Teddy kept her voice even as she asked her question, not wanting to cause a panic if there was no reason for anyone to panic.

“What do you mean?” Hannah looked up at Teddy.

“Do you feel anything hard? Like metal?” Teddy specified. Hannah went to move her hand, only for the cardio surgeon to stop her. “Don’t move your hand, just tell me what you feel.”

“Dr. Altman, what’s going on?” Meredith felt the rock in her stomach get bigger with each passing moment as Teddy kept her eyes on Hannah.

“Um, my fingertips are touching something kinda hard. I think it’s metal.” Hannah informed Teddy.

“Oh, my god.” The anesthesiologist, Dr. Milton gasped.

“Dr. Milton.” Teddy warned. “Hannah, I do not want you to move. Not your hand. Not your body. Not an inch.”

“Okay, you’re scaring me.” Hannah confessed. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t want you to be scared, everything is going to be okay as long as you do not move.” Teddy assured the paramedic. “Dr. Montgomery, can you come see me?” Meredith walked over to the door. “I want you to walk out of this room. Walk, do not run. I need you to tell the charge nurse that we have a Code Black. Tell him that I am sure, and then tell him to call the bomb squad. After that, go find Bailey and get reassigned.”

“You need a surgical team.” Meredith argued.

“Mer, let’s go.” Alex urged.

“No, this is my patient. I am staying.” Meredith insisted.

“I only need Dr. Milton to keep him under.” Teddy sighed when she realized that Meredith wasn’t wavering. “Fine, tell the charge nurse and then wait by the elevator. Once the bomb squad arrives we will take it from there, but until then I do not want anyone in here that doesn’t need to be. Now go.” Meredith nodded and went with Alex and Cristina to tell the charge nurse and then stood by the elevator. The other ORs all evacuated once the page about the Code Black went out. The bomb squad arrived soon after and Teddy stepped out to talk to them while Dr. Milton was internally panicking.

“Pink mist.” Dr. Milton muttered softly.

“Excuse me?” Hannah shifted her eyes to look at Dr. Milton.

“That’s what the bomb squad calls you when you blow up. Pink mist. I read that somewhere. The bomb goes off and anyone in range explodes into a billion pieces. You’re liquid. There’s nothing left. Just flecks of human flesh and blood. Pink mist. Sometimes they don’t even find a finger. One minute you’re a person and the next you’re bloody rain.” Dr. Milton explained. “Here, take this.” He gestured at the amu bag. Hannah took it. “Good. Now I want you to squeeze it in even beat. Not too fast, not too slow.” He began to back out of the OR slowly and turned to leave as he reached the door.

“Dr. Milton?” Hannah looked up at him as she squeezed the amu bag.

“I’ve got kids.” Dr. Milton sighed. “Even beat, okay?” He walked out and passed by Meredith, Alex, and Cristina without saying anything. The interns ran towards the OR where Hannah was now alone and shaking from fear.

“Hannah? Why did Dr. Milton just leave?” Meredith asked as she stood next to Hannah and Cristina took over pumping the amu bag. Alex went to get Teddy and the leader of the bomb squad who were talking at the other end of the hall.

“He didn’t want to die.” Hannah whispered as a tear ran down her cheek. “I think that I’m going to take my hand out now.”

“When the hell are people going to learn?” Dylan, the leader of the bomb squad, ran a frustrated hand over his face.

“Well it may not be as bad as it seems.” Teddy tried to be optimistic but the look on Dylan’s face made her blood run cold.

“My guys talked to the friend. The device is homemade, which means it’s unstable and very unreliable. It could be a dud but we have no way of knowing. It’s possible that the paramedic's hand is holding the device steady and is the only reason it hasn’t gone off. The smallest shift and that thing could explode.” Dylan explained.

“So, it’s definitely as bad as it seems.” Teddy sighed.

“That’s what I’m saying.” Dylan nodded just as Karev ran up to them.

“Milton left. He told Hannah that he didn’t want to die and handed her the amu bag. Cristina is pumping the amu bag and Meredith is trying to calm Hanna down, but she’s shaking really bad.” Alex explained hurriedly. “I’m trying not to freak out, but my best friend and other sorta friend are in there and that bomb could go off at any second. I do not want to explain to Dr. Montgomery-Sloan, Dr. Sloan, or Dr. Robbins that Meredith exploded and I highly doubt that you want to do that either, so come on.” Teddy and DYlan nodded and they started to sprint down the hall towards the OR.

“I’m taking my hand out.” Hannah decided as she became more hysterical by the second.

“Hannah, you can do this. We are almost at the finish line and you are what is keeping him from bleeding out. It won’t be much longer and then you’ll be able to take your hand out and everything will be over.” Meredith said in a comforting tone, the rock in her stomach making her feel nauseous.

“No!” Hannah screamed. “I am twenty two years old! I should not even be in here! This is some kind of mistake! I just want to take my hand out and be done! It’s gotta come out! It needs to come out! I cannot die!” She pulled her hand out just as Teddy, Dylan, and Alex made it to the OR. Everyone but Meredith hit the floor with their arms above their heads while Hannah ran out of the OR, the only proof that she had been there at all was her bloody handprint on the wall. After a few seconds when the bomb didn’t go off, everyone stood up and saw that the blonde now had her hand inside of the patient.

“Meredith.” Cristina said seriously.

“Oh my god.” Meredith gasped as her actions sunk in.” What did I do?”

“Just stay right where you are. Nobody move. Stay exactly where you are.” Dylan ordered.

“Oh my god.” Meredith took a deep breath. “My sister is going to fucking kill me.”

Chapter Text

“You realize how stupid that was, right?” Dylan looked at Meredith like the intern was insane, which in a way she was. When everyone else hit the floor, she knew she should have followed their lead, but instead her arm flew out and she carefully maneuvered her hand into the patient and into the same position that Hannah’s had previously been in.

“It was Mer. Incredibly stupid!” Cristina stressed.

“Okay you know when you don’t need to be made fun of? Like when you have your hand inside a body that has a goddamn bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your boobs! That’s when!” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“Okay.” Cristina nodded.

“I told you both that I had a feeling.” Meredith looked between Cristina and Alex with narrowed eyes. “How fitting, I might explode on the anniversary of the day that I found my biological mother’s dead body and met my sister and father. Even if I don’t explode I will still die because my sister is going to fucking kill me!”

“Addison won’t kill you Mer, she loves you far too much.” Alex pointed out.

“She’s going to kill me.” Meredith stated matter of factly. “And if she doesn’t, our mother will fly to Seattle to kill me herself. I may be the favorite child, but Bizzy does not approve of recklessness and flat out stupidity, just ask my brother.”

“Well, has she killed your brother for being an idiot?” Cristina asked.

“No.” Meredith huffed. “But apparently Archer has been an idiot since she gave birth to him so she’s used to it, I on the other hand am only stupid on occasion and Bizzy said she can only deal with one idiot child. Although I am her favorite so she may keep me and kill him, which would mean that I’m responsible for my brother’s death.” She added before her heart began to ache in her chest and her voice dropped to a whisper that only she could hear. “Just like I’m responsible for Ellis’ death.”

“Alright, this has been fun, but Karev and Yang it’s time for you to get out of here.” Teddy ordered.

“No, we’re staying.” Alex insisted.

“There’s nothing more that you can do here, we’ve got it covered.” Teddy assured them, but neither Cristina or Alex moved. “This is not just another clueless surgery. This ammo can go off at any time and kill everyone in this room. Do you not understand that? You cannot be in here.”

“Do you think this is about surgery?” Cristina looked at Teddy in disbelief. “Meredith is my friend and she’s Alex’s best friend. This is about her. We can’t leave her. We won’t. Neither one of us took her seriously when she said that she had a feeling that she was going to die today and now she has her damn hand on a bomb. We can’t just walk away.”

“We’ll be okay.” Meredith spoke up, her voice shaky. “Go. I’ll be okay.”

“Mer…” Alex sighed.

“I’ll be okay, you can go.” Meredith insisted. Cristina and Alex looked at each other and then back to Meredith before nodding and turning to leave the OR. Once they were gone she looked up at Dylan with tears in her eyes. “So you have a plan right? You have a way to get me out of this, right? I can’t die, my sister won’t make it if I do.”

“Alright so do you want to tell Addison or do you want to tell Arizona?” Alex looked at Cristina as they got into the elevator. “I’m okay telling either one of them, but would you prefer the sister that is like a second mother, or the love struck girlfriend?”

“Alex, can we just tell them together?” Cristina asked with more vulnerability on her face than Alex had ever seen before. “I think we need to stick together, for Meredith’s sake. Even if you don’t consider me a friend, we both love Mer.”

“After everything that has happened so far today, I definitely consider you a friend.” Alex’s mouth twitched into a small smile. “Who do we think we should talk to first?”

“Arizona’s her girlfriend and they’re crazy about each other, but you said yourself that Addison is both her sister and her second mother. I think Mer would want us to tell her first. So, we tell Addison first.” Cristina decided. “Then we page Sloan to comfort her and go to Arizona because I don’t think she has anyone to comfort her so we’ll stay with her and the three of us can freak out and worry together.”

“Okay.” Alex nodded and hit the floor that Addison was on. When the elevator got to the floor they got off and found Addison pacing outside of her patient’s room. “Dr. Montgomery-Sloan…”

“Oh thank god!” Addison cut Alex off. “I can’t get in touch with my sister. Do you know where she is?”

“Addison, you’re going to want to sit down.” Cristina guided Addison over to a gurney that was up against the wall, not even noticing the shock on the redhead’s face at her calling her by her first name.

“Where is my sister?” Addison demanded. “Where is Meredith?”

“The anesthesiologist left because he didn’t want to die, which freaked out the paramedic. Meredith tried to calm her down, but she was hysterical and she pulled her hand out.” Alex explained as Addison’s face paled. “Addison, Meredith is now the girl with the bomb. She put her hand inside the patient to keep the bomb from going off.”

“No.” Addison shook her head. “No. No!” The redhead broke down in painful sobs. “Meri…” She whimpered. Alex sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms while Cristina paged Mark. “I’m going to kill her!”

“When she realized what she did, that was the first thing that she said.” Cristina revealed. “But the leader of the bomb squad is there and Dr. Altman, they're going to figure this out so that Meredith makes it out of this. She has to make it out of this.” She sat down on the gurney and rubbed Addison’s back as the redhead sobbed on Alex’s shoulder. A couple of minutes later Mark ran up to them, immediately concerned when he saw his wife sandwiched between two interns absolutely inconsolable.

“What’s going on?” Mark asked as he caught his breath.

“Mark!” Addison gasped and looked up from Alex’s shoulder. “Meredith is the girl with the bomb!” Alex moved so Mark could take his place on the gurney. “My baby sister has her hand on a fucking bomb!”

“She’s going to be okay, Addie.” Mark promised as tears began to stream down his face as well. He looked up at Alex and Cristina. “The bomb squad is here, right?”

“Yes, the leader is in the OR with Mer and Dr. Altman.” Cristina nodded. “We’re going to go tell Arizona, but if you need us just page us.”

“Okay, I got her. You two take care of Arizona.” Mark agreed and hugged Addison tightly as they walked away. “She’s going to be okay Addie.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Addison’s head.

“She had a feeling that she was going to die today.” Addison whispered before pulling away from Mark. “I need to go up there. I need to see her.”

“No.” Mark stood up and blocked his wife. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Mark, she's my sister!” Addison yelled. “I need to see her! Move!” She tried to push past Mark but he just pulled her back into his arms as she started crying again. “She’s my baby, Mark, I can’t lose her.”

“You won’t.” Mark promised. George walked over to them holding a cup of ice chips for their laboring patient.

“Dr. Montgomery-Sloan, I heard about Meredith and I’m sorry.” George said in a soft and sincere voice.

“Just bring Carey her ice chips and tell her I’ll be in to check her in a few minutes.” Addison snapped at George as she stopped fighting Mark’s grip. “I’m okay, you can go.”

“Addie.” Mark sighed.

“I still have to be a doctor, Mark, and so do you. Just because the OR’s are all closed doesn’t mean that the burn unit is, so you should go. I’m not going to try to go up to the OR where Meredith is because if she sees me, she’s just going to get upset and she needs to stay as calm as possible. I won’t be the reason my sister dies, but when this is all over, I’m slapping her upside her stupid head.” Addison kissed Mark lightly. “I love you and if I need you, I promise I will page you or call you or something.”

“I do have a patient in the burn unit that I should get back to, but only if you’re sure that you’ll be okay.” Mark searched Addison’s face.

“I’m sure, I mean I’m scared out of my mind, but my patient is seven centimeters so hopefully that’ll be a good distraction.” Addison forced a smile. “Are you okay? I know how much you love Mer.”

“I just have to keep telling myself that she’ll be okay, but the image of her at twelve years old interrogating me keeps popping into my head and when I got into a relationship with you, I knew that she would always come first in your life, but it was that moment that I knew that she would also come first in my life.” Mark confessed as he wiped his face. “But she’ll be okay, she has to be okay.”

“We’ll make sure of it.” Addison kissed Mark again before walking away to go check on her patient.

Alex and Cristina found Arizona checking on one of her patients with Izzie and waited outside of the room for her. When the pediatric surgeon walked out with her intern trailing behind her she noticed the serious expressions on the interns’ faces. “What’s going on?”

“Arizona, can we go to your office? We need to talk to you.” Alex said seriously.

“Okay, um Stevens continue rounding on our patients and I will come find you shortly.” Arizona led Alex and Cristina down the hall to her office and gestured for them to sit down. “Make yourselves comfortable.”

“You should sit down too.” Cristina advised Arizona who felt an air of unease fall over her as she sat behind her desk.

“Someone please start talking.” Arizona demanded as her heart raced in her chest.

“Meredith was the intern on the surgery involving the bomb. The paramedic who had her hand inside of the patient and was keeping the bomb steady freaked out and took her hand out so Meredith took her place.” Alex explained as gently as he could.

“What exactly are you telling me?” Arizona yelled as hot tears pooled in her eyes.

“Meredith is now the girl with the bomb.” Cristina clarified.

“My girlfriend is the girl with the bomb?” Arizona began sobbing when Alex and Cristina nodded. “No! No! Meredith does not have her hand on a bomb! You’re lying! Is this your idea of a prank?!”

“Arizona, we wouldn’t joke about this.” Alex promised in a soft voice as both he and Cristina moved to comfort Arizona as she continued crying as the reality set in.

“I love her. I haven’t told her yet because I didn’t want to freak her out, but I love her.” Arizona confessed with a whimper. “I love her and now I may never get to tell her.”

“You’ll get to tell her because she’s going to be okay.” Cristina sniffled. “She’s going to be okay. The leader of the bomb squad is up there and he’s going to figure out a plan to get her out of this and you’ll tell her how you feel and everything is going to be okay. It has to be.”

“She had a feeling.” Arizona wept. “She had a feeling that she was going to die today.”

“I know.” Alex nodded. “I know.”

“I love her.” Arizona sobbed. “I think I loved her the moment I saw her. It may sound weird, but there was something oddly charming about a woman who could throw back a tequila shot like it was water. She went from trying to ignore me to wanting to go somewhere to be alone with me, then when she had leave to get home she left me this sweet note with her phone number. When I saw her here I was shocked, but mostly I was scared that because we worked together that I wouldn’t get the chance to get to know her better, but Mer didn’t care about the fact that she was an intern and I was an attending because she wanted to get to know me better too. Now she could die and she wouldn’t know that I love her. I can’t lose her, she’s the first person that I have opened up to since losing my brother a few years ago, I can’t lose her too.”

“You won’t.” Alex and Cristina both promised as they hugged Arizona tightly and cried with her.

Meredith was standing in the OR watching Teddy and Dylan whisper and felt herself become more freaked out by the second. Her fear soon turned to anger at being left out of the loop while she was literally standing there with her hand on a bomb. When the two looked over at her with worried and almost pitying looks she finally snapped. “Stop it! I’m not a patient!”

“What?” Dylan looked at Meredith confused.

“The two of you are looking at me the way we look at patients. Like I’m going to freak out at any minute. I’m not gonna freak out so whatever it is just tell me straight out.” Meredith insisted. Teddy and Dyland exchanged a glance before Teddy sighed and looked back at the intern.

“The main oxygen line runs directly under this room.” Teddy explained and closely watched Meredith for her reaction.

“Okay.” Meredith said before the realization finally hit her and her eyes widened ever so slightly. “Not okay. I need one of you to tell me what this means exactly because I think I know what it means, but I tend to be glass half empty so I won’t trust what I think it means. Because what I think it means is if the bomb were to explode over the oxygen line the whole hospital could blow up and that’s just crazy.” She let out an airy and humorous chuckle while Teddy and Dylan remained silent. “That is just crazy, right?”

“Meredith, that’s exactly what it means.” Dylan admitted.

“Do you have a plan or are we just going to risk everyone’s lives instead of just ours?” Meredith snapped. “Because the only reason I was stupid enough to put my hand in a body cavity with a fucking bomb in it was to prevent other people from dying so I will be extremely pissed off if this bomb goes off and causes the entire fucking hospital to explode and people that weren’t dumb enough to put their hand on a damn bomb end up dying!”

“We have a plan.” Dylan assured the angry intern who was fixing him with the infamous Satan glare. “We’re going to move to a different OR.” He then looked towards Teddy and whispered. “Now because I do not want to spend another second in this room, especially with her looking at me like that.”

“Her sister does the exact same look, it is slightly terrifying.” Teddy agreed.

“Wait, I can’t even wiggle my fingers because we can’t shift the ammo and now you’re telling me that you want to roll out the entire gurney?” Meredith asked.

“That is our safest option.” Dylan nodded.

“Okay so we move.” Teddy looked at Meredith. “You handling this Montgomery?”

“I’m handling this.” Meredith nodded. “I’m handling this.”

George walked out of his and Addison’s patient’s room where Carey’s labor had stalled for over an hour. The redhead was sitting on a gurney against the wall with her eyes shut as tears continued to roll down her face. “Dr. Montgomery-Sloan, what are we going to do? Carey hadn’t made any progress in almost ninety minutes.” Addison opened her eyes and turned to look at the intern.

“What do you want me to do about it? Do you want me to reach my hand up her vagina and force her to dilate?” Addison rolled her eyes.

“Isn’t there medication that you can use to make her dilate or at least speed up her contractions so she dilates naturally?” George asked.

“I already maxed her out on meds O’Malley.” Addison sighed heavily. “There’s nothing to do but wait, can’t do a c section without an OR and as long as the baby isn’t in distress there’s no point in transferring her to another hospital.”

“Well can’t you…” George started only for Addison to cut her off.

“Do you think I’m not doing everything I can? I mean do you think that I’m just out here because I’m feeling lazy and in need of a little me time?” Addison asked George who felt more awkward with each passing second.

“I’m just asking.” George shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“Stop asking!” Addison yelled. “No matter what you ask, the answer is I don’t know! I have done everything that I can possibly do right now! Everything! My sister is in mortal danger right now. Actual mortal danger so I need you to do something other than ask me the world’s stupidest questions because the answer is I don’t know! Okay?”

“Okay.” George nodded and turned to walk away while Addison felt another round of tears starting.

Izzie knocked on the door of Arizona’s office and rolled her eyes when Cristina opened the door with a stony expression. “I need Robbins. One of our patients has a fever and is complaining of stomach pain. I need to know what she wants to do.”

“You’re a doctor, examine the kid. Robbins is busy.” Cristina went to shut the door, only for Izzie to block her with her foot. “Izzie, I don’t have time for this.”

“What could Robbins be so busy with that she can’t do her job?” Izzie asked, her eyes widened when she heard a loud sob come from inside of the office.

“In case you haven’t heard, Meredith is has her hand on a fucking bomb and as you could probably imagine, her girlfriend is a little distraught.” Cristina snapped. “So be a damn doctor and examine your patient and only come back here if there’s something that you cannot do yourself.” She kicked Izzie’s foot out of the door and turned back to Arizona once the door was shut.

“Who was that?” Arizona sniffled as she looked up from Alex’s shoulder.

“I took care of it, don’t worry about anything right now.” Cristina rubbed Arizona’s back. “Everything will be okay.”

Meredith slowly walked alongside the gurney as they pushed it down the hall to a different OR. Teddy was already in the new OR prepping it while Dylan stayed with the intern to help keep her calm. “You’re doing great.”

“Let’s go over it again.” Meredith looked up at Dylan as she took small and careful steps to ensure her hand didn’t shift as her body moved.

“The device is shaped like a rocket. About eight inches long. We’re going to have everything ready. Dr. Altman’s team is going to be in place, my team is going to be in place, and I’m going to ask you to take the hand that you have in Mr. Carlson and wrap it around the device…” Dylan began to explain the plan to Meredith again, only for the intern to cut him off.

“And pull it out.” Meredith finished.

“Level. Pull it out while keeping it level.” Dylan added.

“You know, I don’t like you very much.” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“That’s fine, I don’t like you either.” Dylan shrugged. Suddenly, the gurney hit a metal bar across the floor and came to a stop. “Alright everybody, let’s keep placing one foot in front of the other. Nice and slow. Meredith, we’re almost there.”

“Okay.” Meredith whispered.

“We’re almost there. Nice and easy. You ready?” Dylan looked at Meredith intently.

“Yeah.” Meredith nodded as they slowly moved the gurney over the bar and continued to the OR where Teddy was waiting.

“We’re ready when you are.” Teddy said once they were in position.

“We’re good.” Dylan looked over at Meredith. “Meredith?”

“Yeah.” Meredith’s voice shook. “I’m good.”

“I’m going to extend the wound. When I cut, the bleeding is going to intensify. If we’re going to save Mr. Carlson, you have to pull the ammo out immediately.” Teddy explained.

“But remember, remove it while keeping it as level as possible. Nice and easy. No quick movements. Level.” Dylan reminded Meredith who was quickly becoming even more overwhelmed.

“Right, level.” Meredith gulped.

“Are you ready?” Teddy asked.

“I uh…” Meredith took a deep breath. “Do I have a choice?”

“You have to be ready.” Teddy said seriously.

“Yeah, I guess.” Meredith sighed. “I guess I’m ready.”

“Scalpel.” Teddy held her hand out and began cutting into Mr. Carlson to extend the wound, causing blood to pool. “I’m good, she can go.”

“Alright now Meredith, wrap your hand around the nose cone.” Dylan instructed, but Meredith was just staring out to the side with tears rapidly building in her eyes. “Meredith.”

“Montgomery?” Meredith looked over at Teddy for a quick second before she began to stare off again. “Montgomery.” The intern pulled down her scrub mask as she started to hyperventilate. She took a deep breath and looked between Teddy and Dylan.

“Tell Addison that I’m sorry and that she is the best sister that anyone could ever have and that I love her with all of my heart. Tell Mark to take care of her and that even though he’s a buttmunch, I still love him because he makes my sister happy and her happiness is everything to me. Tell Alex and Cristina that they are the best friends that I have ever had, besides my sister, and to stick together and that what happened isn’t their fault. Tell Arizona that I am so so sorry and that I love her, because I do love her, I just haven’t told her yet.” Meredith bit back the sob bubbling in her throat.

“No, Meredith, listen to me. You are going to be okay.” Dylan promised Meredith who just shook her head and looked at Teddy.

“Tell them, please.” Meredith begged. “Promise me that you’ll tell them.”

“I promise, but I won’t have to because you’ll be able to tell them yourself.” Teddy smiled. “Are you ready now because his pressure is dropping, so I need you to be ready.”

“I can’t!” Meredith shook her head. “I can’t., okay? This is crazy! You guys should go.” She looked between Teddy and Dylan. “Both of you need to go, otherwise there won’t be anyone to tell them and they need to know how I feel! They need to know, so you both need to go.”

“Nobody’s dying today, Montgomery.” Teddy said firmly. “Nobody.”

“Meredith, I want you to look at me.” Meredith turned her gaze from Teddy to Dylan. “I know that this is bad, and I know that I’m this ass who’s been yelling at you all day, so pretend that I’m not. Pretend that I’m someone that you like. Whatever you need, whatever will help, but you need to listen to me.” Meredith took a deep breath and shut her eyes. She gasped softly when she imagined Arizona in front of her. The intern figured that it would be Addison who came to mind, after all her older sister had been her best friend and rock for the past nineteen years. It was Addison who taught her how to ride a bike, and who taught her how to throw a punch. The redhead had always been there whether it was pulling all nighters to watch horror movies or to help Meredith study for finals. For as long as the blonde could remember, her sister was there giving her a hug or a kick in the ass, whatever she need most at the time, but as she looked into Arizona’s eyes, despite the older blonde just being a figment of her imagination, she finally understood why Mark was always okay with being second in his wife’s life. It was because he loved Addison and he would be anything that she needed, even if what she needed was for him to be her second priority. In that moment, Meredith knew that if she made it out of this OR alive she would be whatever Arizona needed because she truly loved her.

“I’m scared.” Meredith confessed. “I’m really fucking scared.”

“I know.” The imaginary Arizona nodded. “But you can do this. It’ll be over in a second. You can do this Meredith.”

“Okay.” Meredith nodded.

“Okay.” Arizona nodded before her image faded away and Dylan was there again.

“Gently.” Dylan directed Meredith as she started to pull out the tip of the bomb, tears in her eyes as she fought to keep her arm from shaking. Once the bomb was fully out of Mr. Carlson’s body she carefully handed it to Dylan and then pulled her hand away as fast as she could and let out a painful sob. “You did good.”

“Thanks.”Meredith sniffled. “It’s been a blast.” Dylan let out a small chuckle as he slowly moved away from the operating table. Teddy has started to finally operate on Mr. Carlson while the intern started to walk away, her feet bringing her in the same direction as Dylan and soon she was following him out of the OR. She stood in front of the door and watched as he made his way down the hall to hand the bomb off to another member of the bomb squad, but before he could hand the bomb to them, it went off, killing him instantly as well as blowing out windows of nearby OR’s and scrub rooms. The force of the blast sent Meredith flying onto her back as the entire hospital lost power. She was caked in a mix of debris, blood, and flesh. The last thing the blonde saw before she lost consciousness was an image of Arizona’s smiling face.

Addison was sitting on a gurney wrapped in Mark’s arms and crying on his chest. Her patient had finally given birth, leaving her with nothing to do other than think about her sister. Moments before, the entire hospital had shook and the power went out and the redhead couldn’t help but think the worst. Her pager went off and when she saw it, she jumped off of the gurney and pulled Mark with her. When they got to the OR floor they saw a nurse knelt beside Meredith’s unconscious body and both ran over to her. “When the bomb went off, Dr. Altman asked me to come out here and check to see if anyone was hurt and I found her. Dr. Altman said to page you.”

“Thank you.” Addison nodded before focusing on Meredith. “Meri.” She tapped her sister’s cheeks. “Meri, my little shadow, can you hear me?” The blonde soon blinked her eyes open.

“Addie.” Meredith croaked as she went to sit up. “My head hurts.”

“I’m sure that it does.” Addison sighed. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then we’ll go home, okay?” Meredith nodded and let her sister help her to her feet, but her legs tried to give out. Mark swooped in and picked her up before she could fall and carried her down the stairs to the intern locker room where Addison locked the door. He set his sister in law down once they reached the showers and then went to sit on the bench while his wife cleaned Meredith up.

“He died right in front of me.” Meredith whispered. “I watched him blow up.”

“Oh, Meri.” Addison kissed Meredith’s forehead as she cleaned the dirt and blood off of her. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.” Once Meredith was clean, her sister dressed her in clothes from her locker and then they and Mark quietly left the hospital.

“Sit in the back with her. She needs you.” Mark told Addison once Meredith was settled in the backseat. The redhead kissed her husband softly before sliding in the backseat with her sister, who immediately undid her seatbelt and curled into her side.

“I’m right here Shadow, I’m right here.” Addison cooed as she wrapped her arms around Meredith and kissed her temple. When they made it home, the sister’s went up to the blonde’s room and laid down in the bed so they were facing each other. “You really scared me.”

“I’m sorry.” Meredith whispered. “I know that it was stupid, but it wasn’t an Ellis thing.”

“Okay.” Addison nodded. “Honestly I was so busy panicking that I didn’t even think that Ellis had anything to do with why you put your hand on a bomb.”

“It’s my fault that she’s dead, isn’t it?” Meredith asked.

“What?” Addison’s eyes were filled with shock. “Meri, Ellis killing herself was not your fault, you were only five years old. You were a baby.”

“But the reason that she killed herself was because she felt guilty for lying to Thatcher. She never would have had to lie if I wasn’t born.” Meredith rationalized.

“Meredith, you didn’t ask to be born and she didn’t have to lie, she chose to lie. Ellis cheated on her husband and got pregnant and instead of telling the truth, she lied and let Thatcher believe that you were his child while also keeping you from your real father. That was her choice and no one made her do any of it.” Addison countered as she cupped Meredith’s face. “Cheating is wrong, but in this case I’m happy that The Captain cheated on Bizzy because if he hadn’t you wouldn’t have been born and I wouldn’t have the sweetest, sassiest, funniest, and most stubborn little sister and best friend. Ellis’ death was not your fault, just like Dylan’s death wasn’t your fault. Okay?”

“Okay.” Meredith nodded. “When you look at me, do you ever see that scared and traumatized little girl that you first met nineteen years ago?”

“No.” Addison shook her head with a soft smile. “Sometimes I do see the little girl that I first met nineteen years ago, but she’s not scared or traumatized. She’s giggling and jumping up and down on her bed. She’s throwing flour at me while we bake cookies. She’s crashing all of my slumber parties and all of my friends love her. And she’s throwing her arms around me in a conference room despite only meeting me a minute before. I never saw a scared and traumatized little girl when I looked at you Meri, I just saw my perfect baby sister.”

“I love you.” Meredith sniffled as tears flowed down her cheeks.

“I love you too.” Addison pulled Meredith into a hug.

Arizona was standing outside of Meredith’s front door with her fist prepared to knock when Mark opened the door. “Hey. Is Mer here?”

“She’s upstairs with Addison, she was pretty shaken up.” Mark explained. “I can go get her.” Arizona opened her mouth to answer when she saw Meredith and Addison walk down the stairs.

“Hey.” Meredith said softly as Addison grabbed Mark’s hand and pulled in down the hall so they could have some privacy.

“You almost died today.” Arizona said in a cracking voice.

“I almost died today.” Meredith nodded as tears started to once again flow down her cheeks. “Which would have really sucked because I would have died without you knowing that I love you.”

“You love me?” Arizona stepped inside as she started to cry.

“Yes, snickerdoodle. I love you.” Meredith smiled.

“I love you too, Tinker Bell.” Arizona grabbed Meredith’s face gently and pulled her into a deep kiss while Addison and Mark walked back into the entryway both smiling as Mark started clapping and whooping. The two broke their kiss and looked at him and laughed before kissing once more.

Chapter Text

A couple of days later Meredith was headed back to work after the bomb incident. Both Addison and Arizona had taken time off of work to stay with her as she struggled with her feelings about everything that happened. She walked into the locker room and felt her face flush with embarrassment when everyone but Izzie was standing and clapping for her. The blonde had never done well with being the center of attention and just wanted it to stop. After all, she didn’t really do anything that she felt was worth a round of applause. “Okay, that’s enough.” She rolled her eyes with a small smile as she walked over to her locker and breathed a sigh of relief when the clapping stopped.

“She’s right.” Izzie hummed. “Besides, what are you clapping for anyway?”

“Well Barbie, in case you forgot, she put her hand inside of a man who had a bomb inside of it to prevent it from going off, which if it went off in that OR would have caused the entire hospital to blow up and a lot of people would have died.” Cristina snarked as she glared at Izzie.

“But at the time that she decided to put her hand in the patient she didn’t know that they were over the main oxygen line so she didn’t know that the entire hospital could have blown up.” Izzie pointed out.

“Yes, but she did know that it would have at least blown up that OR which had multiple people in it.” Alex countered. “Multiple people who she felt didn’t deserve to die all because Milton is a coward who left and scared the living shit out of the paramedic who’s hand was keeping the bomb steady as well as keeping the patient from bleeding out. So no matter how stupid her actions were, she had good intentions.”

“You people will just find any reason to praise her.” Izzie rolled her eyes. “Meanwhile I think what she did was stupid.”

“Good.” Meredith nodded. “Because what I did was stupid and I should not be applauded for it. What I did was put my life in danger and scare everyone who cares about me.” She turned to Alex and Cristina. “I’m sorry, but thank you for taking care of Arizona.”

“You’re welcome.” Alex smiled.

“Turns out Dr. Sunshine isn’t that bad. Other than her sobbing all over us.” Cristina snorted. “Although it was warranted. I’m just glad that your sister didn’t kill you. When we told her what was going on she said she was going to.”

“Apparently she told Mark that she was going to slap me upside my stupid head, but when she saw that I was okay she was so relieved that any anger she had melted away.” Meredith giggled.

“I told you that you would be safe.” Alex chuckled.

“Arizona and I told each other that we love each other.” Meredith smiled shyly.

“I’m really happy for you guys.” Cristina smiled supportively as they all made their way over to Bailey for assignments. The resident handed them out to everyone but Meredith, instead asking her to stay back for a minute.

“Are you sure you’re ready to get back to work?” Bailey asked as she looked Meredith up and down.

“Yes Dr. Bailey.” Meredith nodded. “I am fine.”

“Well in spite of all that fineness, you’re on scut.” Bailey said firmly.

“You’re kidding!” Meredith’s eyes widened as she looked at Bailey In disbelief. “Dr. Bailey, with all due respect, I took two days off and have spoken to my personal therapist about what happened. I feel more than ready to get back to work and clearly my sister agrees since she didn’t restrain me to my bed before she left this morning. Addie knows me better than anyone, if I wasn’t ready to be back at work, I’d be at home right now whether I like it or not.”

“As much as I respect your sister and trust her opinion, you are not going anywhere near an OR for at least another week. I have to be sure that you won’t freak out and as well as your sister knows you, she can’t tell whether or not you’ll have an adverse reaction to being in the OR after what your last OR experience was like.” Bailey explained. “I’m sorry, Meredith, but you watched a man die after spending hours with your hand on a bomb. That isn’t an experience that just goes away and I don’t think two days is enough time to truly process what you went through and if you go to an OR right now it could all hit you at once.” The resident’s voice was softer than Meredith had ever heard it before as her body sagged in defeat.

“Okay.” Meredith whispered.

“If you would rather go home, that’s okay too.” Bailey assured her.

“No one’s there.” Meredith shrugged. “I’d rather be here than be alone.”

“I get that.” Bailey nodded as she watched Meredith walk away. The blonde sighed as she walked through the hospital and noticed everyone staring at her as if she would break at any moment, little did they know that she would never give them the chance to see her break, to see her weak. She knew how to keep herself together in public, but as their eyes pierced into her, Meredith felt herself cracking. She slipped into a supply closet and pulled her knees up to her chest as she cried as quietly as possible. The whole point of coming back to work was so she could prove to everyone that she was the same person that she was before the bomb, how could she do that if she couldn’t go near patients, let alone an OR.

After letting herself break down for a few minutes, Meredith wiped her face and walked out of the supply closet, her body crashing into Mark’s. “Sorry.” She muttered softly.

“Mer?” Mark looked his sister in law up and down and noticed a far away look in her eye. “Come on.” He wrapped an arm around Meredith’s shoulders and began leading her down the hall.

“Where are we going?” Meredith asked as she noticed Mark steering her back towards the locker room.

“You’re changing and then we’re going home. It was too soon for you to come back. While I wait for you I’ll email the chief as well as rearrange some things so that I can stay with you.” Mark explained. “And don’t even try to argue with me because you won’t win.”

“Fine.” Meredith grumbled as she walked into the locker room and changed out of her scrubs. When she walked back into the hall, Mark looked up with a smile as he locked his phone. They went out to the parking lot and once they were in the car, he drove them home. He went to the kitchen to make them breakfast while the blonde sat in a chair at the bar and watched. “I would have been fine if Bailey didn’t put me on scut, or if people would stop staring at me like I’m going to break down at any given moment. I put my hand on a bomb, it’s not that big of a deal. I don’t get why people can’t just treat me normally.”

“Because what you did was incredibly stupid and scary. It was also a little brave, but mostly scary and stupid. It’s hard to imagine that anyone could just be fine forty eight hours after they almost died and watched someone else die.” Mark explained as he flipped an omelet in the pan.

“I’ve been through worse.” Meredith shrugged.

“So you weren’t scared?” Mark raised an eyebrow when Meredith shook her head. “Really? When you were standing in the OR touching a bomb you weren’t even a little scared?”

“Nope.” Meredith popped the p for emphasis. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“What about when you found out that you had to move OR’s because the one that you were in was directly over the oxygen line?” Mark asked. “Were you scared then?”

“No.” Meredith denied as she eagerly dug into the omelet that Mark placed in front of her.

“You really weren’t scared when after being told that you couldn’t move at all, you were being told that you had to walk down the hall to a different OR?” Mark looked at Meredith closely when she once again shook her head. “Mer, keep in mind that the past two days that you were at home with Addie and Arizona, I was at work with Dr. Altman who was there with you.”

“Whatever she said is a lie!” Meredith mumbled with a full mouth.

“Really? What would she get out of lying about you crying and begging her and the bomb squad guy to deliver messages to Addie, me, Arizona, and your friends?” Mark challenged, watching as Meredith shrunk in her seat. “You were scared.”

“Maybe.” Meredith whispered.

“Mer, there’s nothing wrong with being scared.” Mark sighed. “Especially in a situation like that, honestly I’d be worried if you weren’t scared.”

“I was fucking terrified.” Meredith broke down sobbing. “I didn’t even mean to put my hand in the patient, I did it without thinking and the second that I realized what I did, I was freaking out. If I didn’t understand how serious it was, I would have just pulled my hand back out.” Mark walked around the bar and wrapped his arms around his sister in law as she continued to cry.

“I’m really glad that you’re okay.” Mark kissed the top of Meredith’s head. “I don’t know what I would do without my little sister.”

“In law.” Meredith added with a sniffle. “You forgot the in law.”

“I didn’t forget anything.” Mark smiled. “You’re just my little sister.

“You’re such a cheeseball.” Meredith gave off a watery giggle. “Thanks for putting up with me all these years. You married my sister and then right after your honeymoon I moved in with you guys and kind of just never left.”

“In a way you were our practice child.” Mark chuckled as Meredith went back to eating her omelet. “They say the first child is a lot like a pancake, it comes out a little wonky, so maybe our next kid won’t put it’s hand inside a body cavity that contains a bomb.”

“Ha ha. You’re hilarious.” Meredith stuck her tongue out at Mark. “Speaking of, when do you plan on knocking my sister up? You know that I would love being an aunt.” Her brother in law suddenly became very invested in the pan that he was cleaning which caused suspicion to rise in the blonde. “Mark Everett Sloan. Did you get my sister pregnant and not tell me?!”

“I don’t know. Her period is late, but she hasn’t taken a test yet because she wants to wait until she’s a week late.” Mark confessed.

“Well, how late is she?” Meredith asked.

“Six days.” Mark admitted. “She’s going to take a test tomorrow morning, she says that a test is more accurate in the morning.”

“Fuck that. She’s taking a test now.” Meredith jumped off of her seat and ran upstairs to Mark and Addison’s bathroom. She found a pregnancy test under the bathroom sink and ran back down the stairs and slipped her shoes back on. “Let’s go buttmunch!”

“Where are we going?” Mark walked out of the kitchen.

“To the hospital, duh.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to let Addie put this off when the reason she’s doing it isn’t because she’s waiting until she’s a week late for accuracy, she’s waiting because she’s scared that the test will be negative. That fear isn’t going to magically just go away and come tomorrow morning, she’s going to want to wait another week once again for ‘accuracy’ when in reality this test is the most sensitive home pregnancy test you can get. So either put your shoes back on or give me the car keys.”

“So bossy.” Mark groaned while he put his shoes back on.

“It’s not my fault that my car is in the shop.” Meredith shrugged.

“Aren’t you the one who broke your side mirror by running into a mailbox?” Mark raised an eyebrow as they walked out the front door and got back in the car.

“In my defense, I did that the morning that I had a feeling that I was going to die so I was a little distracted.” Meredith laughed. “Thankfully Arizona and I took separate cars, otherwise she probably would have had a heart attack and I aim to only provide one heart attack per day.”

“So if Arizona was in the car with you, you wouldn’t have put your hand on a bomb?” Mark chuckled.

“I told you, I did that without thinking.” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“Well, did you think before you hit the mailbox? Because if not, you did that without thinking too.” Mark pointed out. “I think your problem is that you don’t think.”

“And your problem is going to be my foot up your ass if you don’t watch it.” Meredith grumbled. “Buttmunch.”

“I love you too Mer.” Mark laughed. When they got back to the hospital, Meredith ran ahead of her brother in law, who finally caught up with her by the elevator. “You couldn’t have waited?”

“Nope.” Meredith giggled. They got off of the elevator and saw Addison by the nurse’s station with George. The blonde once again took off ahead of Mark and scared her sister with her sudden appearance. “Addie, are you busy right now?”

“Yeah, I’m busy having a heart attack!” Addison snarked just as Mark made it to the nurse’s station. “I thought you guys went home? Are you okay?” She focused on Meredith.

“I’m fine, I’m always fine. Don’t you know that by now?” Meredith rolled her eyes and then noticed George staring at her. “Look away George!”

“Sorry.” George looked down at his feet.

“Now, again I ask, are you busy or can we go to your office?” Meredith focused back on Addison.

“You’re in a good mood this morning.” Addison chuckled as she wrapped her arm around Meredith’s shoulders and looked up at George. “O’Malley, get Clarissa’s labs and wait for the results and then page me when you have them.”

“Okay.” George nodded and watched as Addison and Meredith walked in step to the redhead’s office with Mark following closely behind them. Once they were there, the blonde pulled her older sister into the bathroom attached to her office and pulled the pregnancy test out of her purse.

“Do not even try to tell me that you can’t take it because you already peed today and first morning urine is the best. I know that you’re scared of another negative, but even if it is negative all you’re doing by waiting is putting off the inevitable. If it’s positive, then you’re just wasting time that could be spent on prenatal care. Either way, you benefit nothing by waiting.” Meredith looked at Addison with a soft but firm expression.

“Will you stay?” Addison whispered as she took the pregnancy test out of Meredith’s hands.

“Of course I will.” Meredith nodded. “Do you want Mark in here too?”

“To watch me pee?” Addison snorted as she opened the box and took the pregnancy test out. “No, he can just spin around in my desk chair while you talk me through my panic attack.”

“Okay.” Meredith giggled. Once Addison peed on the stick, she placed it on the sink and washed her hands before pacing around the bathroom. “Tell me something, distract me.”

“Mark made me an omelet and then while I was eating it he made me cry, but then he made me laugh by telling me that I was just his sister and not his sister in law. You married a cheeseball.” Meredith snickered.

“Yes I did.” Addison laughed. “How did he make you cry?”

“I kept saying that I wasn’t scared during the entire bomb situation, but then he told me that it’s okay to be scared and I broke down and admitted that I was terrified.” Meredith explained. “I think I came back to work too soon.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Addison hummed. “But I knew that you would just call me overprotective if I tried to get you to stay home so I decided not to waste my breath.”

“You wouldn’t have happened to go to Bailey and tell her to put me on scut, did you?” Meredith narrowed her eyes when Addison looked at her with a sheepish smile. “Addison!”

“Well apparently she was going to anyway, so you can’t be mad at me.” Addison shrugged. “Has a result popped up yet? Neither one of us set a timer.”

“I actually did and we still have two minutes.” Meredith held her phone up. “Anyway, as I’m sure Mark told you in the text he sent, he found me walking out of a supply closet kind of zoned out and decided that he was taking me home, which turned out to be a good thing because otherwise god knows when you would have taken this pregnancy test.”

“That’s why I told him not to tell you.” Addison grumbled. “You know me too well.”

“In his defense he didn’t mean to tell me.” Meredith sighed. “He was saying how I’m practically you guys’ practice kid and that hopefully the next one won’t put it’s hand on a bomb, so I asked when he planned on knocking you up and then he became very interested in the pan he was cleaning.”

“I should have just told you that my period was late.” Addison whispered. “We don’t keep secrets.” She looked up at Meredith. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’ll just consider it payback for that time I lied to you about going out to study with someone from my class when in reality I was sneaking into a club when I was underage.” Meredith shrugged playfully.

“I still can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t find out.” Addison laughed.

“I was seventeen, I was stupid.” Meredith giggled.

“You’ve never been stupid.” Addison walked over to Meredith and hugged her. “But I would have thought you would have at least washed the stamp off of your hand before coming home.”

“I had a fake ID which meant I was drinking, I was too drunk to wash my hands.” Meredith explained.

“You were a mess.” Addison shook her head with a fond smile before pulling back to look at her sister. “Mark’s right though, you really were like our practice kid. Even if I am pregnant, you’ll still be my first priority, you’ll just have to share that spot with your new niece or nephew. I’ll just have two first priorities.”

“I’m more than okay with that.” Meredith beamed as the timer on her phone went off. “Are you ready?”

“You look first.” Addison pushed Meredith towards the sink. The blonde looked down and smiled as she turned back towards her sister.

“Congratulations.” Meredith beamed as she pulled Addison over to the sink.

“Oh my god!” Addison gasped and pulled Meredith into her arms. “I’m pregnant!”

“You’re pregnant!” Meredith nodded. “You’re going to be a mom!”

“Meri! You’re going to be an aunt!” Addison squealed excitedly before looking at Meredith with a soft smile. “But you will always be my first baby.” She kissed her little sister’s forehead.

“And you will always be the best second mom ever.” Meredith smiled. “Are you ready to tell Mark that he’s going to be a dad?”

“Yeah.” Addison nodded eagerly and opened the door with the pregnancy test in hand. She walked up to Mark and handed him the pregnancy test. “Honey, we’re having a baby.”

“Oh my god!” Mark kissed Addison deeply. “Time to buy a Yankees onesie!” He lifted his wife off of her feet and spun her around before putting her down and pulling Meredith into the hug. “Mer! I finally knocked her up!”

“Congratulations, buttmunch.” Meredith giggled as she hugged them both tightly.

Chapter Text

Meredith was sitting on the couch with Mark watching a movie while they waited for Addison and Arizona to arrive after work. The blonde still couldn’t believe that her big sister was pregnant and she would finally get to be an aunt, but the revelation made her realize that it was time to talk to her girlfriend seriously about the bomb and how what had happened just two days ago was affecting her. If she was going to be able to be the aunt that she wanted to be, it was time to start preparing and she knew that the first step was not bottling things up anymore.

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Mark broke Meredith out of her trance and laughed when she threw a handful of popcorn at him.

“Must you scare the living daylights out of me?” Meredith groaned.

“Yup.” Mark snickered. “So, what were you thinking about?”

“I was just thinking about how if you have a daughter you’re going to go insane when she starts dating.” Meredith giggled.

“Funny that you think I’m going to allow my daughter to date.” Mark chuckled. “She can’t date unless she’s married and she can’t get married unless she’s dated them for at least five years.”

“Well you have that wrapped up in a neat little bow.” Meredith snorted and glanced at the clock. “Addie will be home any minute so you might want to clean up that popcorn.” She smirked and stood up to walk to the kitchen.

“You mean the popcorn you threw at my beautiful face?” Mark barked out a laugh as he picked the popcorn up. Right as he finished, Addison walked in with Arizona behind her. “Hey sweetheart, hey Zona.”

“Hey honey.” Addison walked over to the couch and bent down to kiss Mark.

“Hey Mark, I hear congratulations are in order.” Arizona smiled. “Is Mer upstairs?”

“No, I’m right here.” Meredith giggled as she walked back from the kitchen with a glass of juice and kissed Arizona softly. “Can we talk?”

“Of course.” Arizona nodded and followed Meredith upstairs to her room. They sat down on the bed and before she even said anything, the intern started crying.

“I’m sorry.” Meredith put her glass on the nightstand and bit her lip to try to stop the sob that was threatening to leave her throat.

“For what?” Arizona used her thumb to free Meredith’s bottom lip from her teeth. “For crying?” The younger blonde nodded. “Baby, there’s nothing wrong with crying. It’s okay to cry.”

“When I was in the OR with my hand on a bomb, I was scared.” Meredith’s voice shook. “I was really scared. Honestly, I didn’t mean to put my hand in the patient. It wasn’t a conscious decision, the paramedic pulled her hand out and everyone else in the room hit the ground, but my feet were rooted to the floor and next thing I knew my arm was shooting out and I carefully inserted my hand into the same position that hers was in. I honestly didn’t even realize what I did at first, it was almost like being in a daze. When my actions clicked and I realized what I did and what it could mean, I was panicking. I just kept saying ‘Oh my god. What did I do? What did I just do? My sister is going to fucking kill me!’ I honestly think that I might have been in shock, but it all sunk in rather quickly and when it did, I thought that I was going to die.”

“Oh Tinker Bell.” Arizona cupped Meredith’s cheeks and wiped her tears away with her thumbs. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, it’s over.”

“No, I need you to know how scared I was.” Meredith sniffled. “I don't want to bottle things up and hide anything, I want to tell you everything, always.”

“Okay.” Arizona nodded with a soft expression. “Take your time.”

“I was trying really hard to stay calm, or to at least mask my panic enough that no one could tell that my mind was racing and I was on the verge of a complete breakdown for hours.” Meredith took a deep breath. “Then Dylan and Teddy were whispering and kept glancing over at me with the same look we give patients when something bad happens and we don’t want them to freak out. That was the first time I kind of lost it because I was so scared but trying so hard to hide it that my fear manifested itself as anger and I told them to be honest with me and that I could handle it. Teddy told me that the OR was over the main oxygen line and when I realized what that meant, my blood ran cold. We had to move to a different OR, but up until this point I couldn’t even scratch my nose because any little movement could cause the bomb to shift and go off.” Her voice broke. “So we slowly walked down the hall and when we hit the metal bar and the gurney jolted, I thought that was it. I thought that I was going to die, but I didn’t. We finally made it to the OR and I said I was ready, but I wasn’t. I knew that I had to be ready, but how is someone ready for something like that? Teddy extended the wound and it was time for me to pull the bomb out, but I started panicking. I broke down crying and I was begging them to deliver messages for me because I thought I was for sure going to die. I realized that I loved you and just hadn’t told you yet, so u begged them to tell you how sorry I was and that I loved you, then I tried to make them leave the OR because I was sure the bomb would go off and kill me and I didn’t want them to die too. I needed them alive so they could tell you what I said and how I felt.” She sobbed, her shoulders shaking as Arizona held her tightly.

“What happened next?” Arizona asked softly. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to know what exactly Meredith had gone through, but ready or not her girlfriend needed to talk about it and she would listen and support her to the very best of her ability because she loved her enough to put her own fears aside and be whatever the younger blonde needed her to be, and in this moment what Meredith needed was someone to listen.

“I was hyperventilating and sobbing. All the strength that I had pretended to possess was gone and what was left behind was a scared little girl, just like when I was five and found my biological mother’s dead body. The fear that I felt that day, it was the same fear that I felt in that OR.” Meredith confessed. “The patient’s pressure was dropping and if the bomb wasn’t out soon so Teddy could start the surgery, he wouldn’t have made it. Dylan told me to pretend that he was someone else, whatever I needed, so I shut my eyes. I expected to imagine Addison in his place, but instead it was you. You were who I saw and in that moment, so much made sense. I always wondered why Mark was okay with not being his wife’s first priority, but I don’t wonder why anymore because I know why. It’s because he loves Addison and would be anything that she needs. I knew that if I made it out of that OR, I would spend however long you decided to put up with me being anything and everything that you need because I love you, I needed to live because I had to get back to you. I pulled the bomb out and I passed it to Dylan and everything was okay. No one dude and everything was okay, but then my feet started moving in the same direction as him and I watched as he began to move towards another member of the bomb squad to hand off the bomb, but before he made it there, the bomb just went off and he was everywhere. I flew backwards and for a moment I thought I was going to die. I was so dazed and confused, that I really thought I was going to die. There were little fires in the hallway and glass everywhere, but right as my eyes were closing for what I thought was the last time, I saw your face and I knew that everything would be okay. When I woke up, part of me was disappointed when I saw Addie and Mark instead of you, but mostly I was relieved that it wasn’t you because I was a mess and I didn’t want you to see me like that. I was covered in grime, blood, and even flesh. As much as I wanted you, I am really happy that you didn’t see me like that.”

“I’m just happy that you’re okay.” Arizona kissed Meredith’s forehead. “I was really scared too. I was scared that you were going to die and for the rest of my life I would have to live with the regret that I didn’t tell you that I loved you.”

“I can still hear the bomb going off.” Meredith whispered. “I didn’t like Dylan, he was kind of an ass, but when I really needed to calm down he helped me. He helped me, and then he blew up. I know that it’s not my fault, but I put my hand on that bomb when I didn’t have to and I lived, he was just doing his job and he died. It doesn’t seem fair.”

“It’s not fair.” Arizona agreed. “It’s really unfair and I am so sorry that you went through that and that you watched him die, but I’m glad that it was him and not you. I know that is horrible and selfish, but it’s the truth. If someone had to die, I would rather it be anyone but you.”

“I would feel the same way if you were the dumbass who put your hand on a bomb.” Meredith admitted softly. “I know that I can live without you, but I don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to either.” Arizona kissed Meredith’s lips tenderly as they both cried. “I don’t ever want to.”

“I have to tell you one more thing.” Meredith took a deep breath. “But I need Addie for this one so please hold.” She stood up and walked to her bedroom door and called down the stairs for Addison. “Addie! Can you please come here?”

“Coming!” Addison yelled back and quickly made her way up the stairs. When she saw the tears on her little sister’s face she smiled softly and embraced Meredith. “Are you okay?”

“I was telling Zona about the bomb and I got a little emotional, but I’m okay.” Meredith assured her big sister as she melted into her arms. “I want to tell her about how I blame myself for Ellis’ death, but I can’t do that on my own.”

“I’m here. You don’t have to do it alone.” Addison promised. She took Meredith’s hand and they walked into the blonde’s bedroom where Arizona was waiting on the bed and sat down.

“As you know after the bomb, Addie and Mark cleaned me up and brought me home and when you got here I was upstairs with Addie, but what you don’t know is what we talked about.” Meredith bit her lip but Addison nodded at her encouragingly. “The day of the bomb was the anniversary of when I found Ellis’ body and I admitted to Addie that since that day I blamed myself for her death.”

“Why did you think that Ellis’ death was your fault?” Arizona asked. “You were just a little girl, how could it be your fault?”

“Mer thought that it was her fault because if she wasn’t born, Ellis wouldn’t have had to lie to Thatcher about him being Meredith’s father and if she didn’t have to lie about that, the guilt wouldn’t have festered to the point that she felt that suicide was the only way out.” Addison explained for Meredith who was struggling with the conversation, even if it was one she wanted to have with Arizona because after almost dying she didn’t want to have any more secrets. “Despite being in therapy since she first came to live with us, Meri never really ever talked about what happened to even me so no one ever knew that she was feeling this way, but once she told me I explained to her that it’s not her fault because Ellis is the one who chose to keep secrets and that she didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to tell you because even though I know Addie’s right, when you have the same thought for nineteen years it is really hard to just stop having it, so it might be something I continue to struggle with and I would love your support.” Meredith added.

“You have my support, Tinker Bell.” Arizona promised softly as she took Meredith into her arms. “You have it.”

“Thank you.” Meredith whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Arizona pulled back slightly and pecked Meredith’s lips. “And nothing you have told me tonight has changed that. Thank you for being so honest.”

“I’m going to be an auntie in nine or so months, I can’t keep things bottled up anymore if I want to be able to be the kind of aunt that I want to be because if I learned anything from Ellis, it’s that secrets can kill you. So I’m going to be honest about my thoughts and feelings, maybe not right away, but when something affects me I’m going to talk about it as soon as I feel ready.” Meredith smiled and glanced towards Addison. “Addie, do you want to lay up here with us for a while?”

“I would love to.” Addison nodded and laid down. The three of them laid in the bed with Meredith in the middle, just enjoying the silence. After about an hour Mark appeared in the doorway.

“Is this a girls only hangout or can I join in?” Mark asked.

“You’re basically one of the girls.” Meredith giggled. “Get in your chair, we’re just enjoying each other’s company while we lay in silence.”

“It’s actually quite refreshing.” Arizona added. “After the noise and chaos of the hospital, it’s nice just to lay here in the silence.”

“It is.” Addison hummed with her eyes closed. Mark sat down in the chair near the bed and the room fell back into a peaceful and serene silence while they all just enjoyed being together without the pressure of conversation. 

Chapter Text

“Bizzy I know you were worried and I am sorry that I put my life in danger, but I promise not to do it again.” Meredith sighed softly into the phone as her mother called for her weekly check in and of course the now infamous bomb situation came up in the conversation.

“Do I need to come to Seattle and slap you and Addison upside the head?” Bizzy asked in such a serious tone that Meredith had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. “I’ll slap Mark too. They’re supposed to be watching over you so stuff like this doesn’t happen! I only have room for one idiotic child and Archer loves that role so you need to actually think before you act!”

“How are my neonatal surgeon sister and plastic surgeon brother in law supposed to watch over me when I’m in a cardio surgery? Are they supposed to abandon their patients and watch me from the gallery with high power binoculars and then scold me over the intercom when they see me doing something dumb?” Meredith giggled as Bizzy let out a heavy and unamused sigh.

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery this is not the time for jokes!” Bizzy scolded. “You put your hand on a bomb for Christ sake! You are lucky that the paramedic taking her hand out didn’t shift it and cause it to go off as you were putting your hand in! Do you not understand how much it would kill me and your father if something happened to you?” Guilt overwhelmed Meredith as her mother’s voice cracked with emotion. “You are my youngest child Meredith. I may not have carried or given birth to you, but I have raised you since the time you were five years old. I love you as if you are my own and the thought of losing you, I can’t handle it. When Addie called us and told us what happened I was a wreck, so was your father but right now I’m talking about how I felt because even though I know you know how much I love you, sometimes I think you struggle to comprehend just how deep that love goes.”

“I’m sorry.” Meredith sniffled as tears began to flow down her cheeks. “I love you too, no matter what DNA says, you are my mother and nothing will change that. Thank you for not hating me even though I was conceived outside of your marriage.”

“Oh darling, don’t cry. I’m sorry that I yelled.” Bizzy apologized softly. “I got overwhelmed and I snapped, but I’m not mad at you Meredith. You did something reckless and stupid, but I know you and I know that you’re not the type of person to carelessly put your life in danger and I think that’s why this entire situation was so scary because it was so out of character. I just hate you being so far away when all I want to do is hug you and tell you that everything will be okay just like I did when Addie left for college and then when she moved to New York for medical school.”

“I promise that I won’t put my hand in another body cavity containing a bomb again, but I can’t promise that I won’t ever do something stupid again.” Meredith gave off a watery giggle.

“I guess that’s all that I can ask for.” Bizzy chuckled. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” Meredith nodded even though her mother couldn’t see her. “Am I still your favorite child?”

“Darling, you will always be my favorite child.” Bizzy promised. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too Bizzy.” Meredith smiled and turned around to glare at Mark when he threw a pillow at the back of her head. “Unfortunately, I have to go. It’s girls night and Mark just threw a pillow at the back of my head and is motioning for me to hang up so we can do face masks.”

“Why am I not even shocked that Mark is still a part of girls night?” Bizzy laughed. “I’ll talk to you next week, but if you need me before then do not hesitate to call. I love you Mer.”

“I love you too Bizzy.” Meredith hung up the phone and threw the pillow back at Mark. “I was talking to my mother, can’t you be more like Addie and Zona and be patient?”

“No.” Mark snickered. “Addie said that we couldn’t start the face masks without you and you don’t get perfect skin like mine from being patient.”

“I married a man child.” Addison laughed.

“Yes you did.” Mark kissed Addison lovingly before glancing between her and Mer. “Honestly your high powered binocular idea wasn’t bad, maybe Addie and I should abandon our patients to keep an eye on you.”

“I’ll join you!” Arizona chuckled. “I don’t think some extra supervision would hurt.”

“All three of you are ridiculous.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “But I love you.”

“We love you too.” Addison smiled at her little sister warmly. “Okay, so Zona I know this is your first girls night with us, but it hopefully won’t be your last. We start with face masks, then we bake cookies, and then we spend the rest of the night watching horror movies and eating the cookies we baked.”

“Sounds fun.” Arizona hummed with a smile as she walked over to Meredith and kissed her lightly. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming.” Meredith kissed Arizona again before Mark threw a pillow at them. “Mark Everett Sloan! My sister is pregnant now which means I’m free to kill you at any time! Do not test me!”

“You won’t kill me. You love me too much.” Mark smiled smugly.

“I can’t believe I wanted a baby when I already have two children.” Addison snorted and rolled her eyes. “Arizona, welcome to my life. They’ve been doing this for twelve years.”

“They are rather entertaining.” Arizona laughed. Once Mark and Meredith finally stopped bickering and making faces at each other, the group moved to the bathroom to apply face masks before going into the younger blonde’s room where the three woman climbed into the bed and Mark went over to the chair in the corner near the bed, pulling it right up to the bed and relaxing. “So your mom yelled at you?”

“I knew she was going to, I just didn’t expect her to get so emotional.” Meredith sighed and glanced at Addison. “Does Bizzy ever get all emotional with you about how much she loves you?”

“No, but I’ve also never put my hand on a bomb, Meri.” Addison pointed out.

“Maybe you should try it sometime. It really gets Bizzy in a tizzy.” Meredith giggled.

“I’ll leave being dumb and giving our mother heart attacks to you and Archer.” Addison laughed. “I’ll remain the mature and smart kid, thank you very much.”

“Buzzkill.” Meredith snorted.

“In a lot of ways, I think Bizzy views me more of a co parent than she does her child.” Addison admitted with a small chuckle.

“Well you did help raise Mer from the time she went to live with you guys so that makes sense.” Mark pointed out.

“Did you really help raise her?” Arizona asked as she looked towards Addison.

“I did.” Addison nodded. “Mer came to live with us with she was five and she was very shy at first with everyone but me, so I was the one that she would come to when she needed something. Even after she got more comfortable with everyone else, she still clung to me. She followed me everywhere, that’s why I started calling her my little shadow. She and Bizzy became very close, but when it came to something going on with Mer, our mother would always discuss things with me before she and our father made any decisions, even after I moved away for college and med school.”

“Then when Mer graduated high school she came to New York for college and lived with me and Addie so from the age of sixteen until now she’s been under our care and she has only put her hand on one bomb, so we must be doing an okay job.” Mark added.

“I’m doing a great job, you’re doing okay.” Addison teased. “I’m not the one who tutored Meri on drinking tequila when she was only sixteen.”

“She was a sixteen year old about to start college! She needed to know how to handle alcohol without puking and tequila is very popular at college parties!” Mark defended with a hearty laugh while Addison looked towards Arizona.

“I woke up in the middle of the night to my baby sister puking her guts out while my husband was drunk off his ass holding her hair back. I almost killed Mark for giving her tequila without even talking to me first. They waited until I went to bed and basically had a two person frat party in the living room.” Addison rolled her eyes, but she had an amused grin on her face at the memory. “I’ve always been a sister and a mother, but Mark he’s always just been her goofy brother in law and they share the favorite hobby of making me lose my sanity.”

“Well, he certainly taught her well.” Arizona laughed. “The night I met Mer, one of the things that caught my attention was how she could drink tequila like it was water.”

“I’m so proud.” Mark snickered.

“I love how the three of you talk about me as if I’m not even in the room.” Meredith giggled. “My girlfriend is friends with my sister and brother in law, what on earth was I thinking?”

“You were thinking that you liked me so you didn’t care who I was friends with.” Arizona smirked as the alarm went off. “Time to wash these off.” They went back to the bathroom to wash the face masks off before walking downstairs where they decided on three different kinds of cookies.

“Buttmunch! Stop eating all the dough!” Meredith slapped Mark in the chest and took the bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough away from him.

“Not fair!” Mark whined like a petulant toddler. “Addie’s been over there eating the red velvet cookie dough and you haven’t yelled at her.

“Addie is pregnant! She’s allowed to eat as much dough as she wants.” Meredith explained as Arizona and Addison both chuckled and got the first batch of cookies in the oven.

“Thank you Meri.” Addison turned to smile at her husband smugly. “She also likes me more than she likes you.”

“Whatever.” Mark rolled his eyes with a small smirk. “So Arizona, are you enjoying your first girls night?”

“I am.” Arizona laughed with a nod. “For one, the three of you are practically free entertainment.” She turned to Addison. “Have you had your first doctor's appointment yet?”

“It’s on Monday.” Addison smiled and turned to Mark and Meredith. “8am at the hospital. Do not forget.”

“You better let Bailey know, she’s in charge of where I go.” Meredith giggled.

“I’ll let her know.” Addison laughed. “I doubt she’ll have an issue with it.”

“Bailey’s a little afraid of you, isn’t she?” Arizona chuckled.

“Actually, I think she’s the only person who isn’t.” Addison snorted as she put the next batch of cookies in.

“I don’t think Bailey’s scared of anything.” Meredith mused. “I think she feeds on fear. Keeps her young.”

“I say the same about Addie.” Mark snickered.

“Oh shut up!” Addison laughed and slapped Mark upside the head. “Idiot.” She kissed her husband lightly. Once the cookies were all baked and cooled they moved over to the living room and selected their first scary movie of the night. The redhead nestled into her husband’s arms and smiled at her baby sister cuddling with her girlfriend on the opposite side of the couch. “So Arizona, I don’t know if Meri told you, but girls night is practically like an initiation. You're not going anywhere now. You’re part of the family.”

“I’m honored.” Arizona beamed and kissed Meredith softly as the movie started and they all turned their attention to the TV as they munched on cookies and became engrossed in the first film of the night.

Chapter Text

Meredith was rocking back and forth on the floor with a panicked expression while chugging a bottle of tequila. Alex and Cristina looked at her with curious expressions, studying her as if she was a specimen in a lab. “Arizona was right, she really can drink Tequila like it’s water.”

“It’s impressive.” Cristina hummed. “Should we stop her?”

“I don’t know.” Alex shrugged. “Arizona is overnight at the hospital and Mark is away at a conference, but Addison should be home in an hour.”

“He’s away at a conference?” Cristina raised an eyebrow with a wry smirk. “Avoiding the in-laws?”

“More like avoiding the incoming slap upside the head from my mother.” Meredith slurred with a giggle as she took another chug from the tequila bottle. “He gets along great with Bizzy and The Captain, but Bizzy is on a bit of a warpath since I put my hand on a bomb and she mentioned slapping all three of us upside the head.”

“Are you drinking because you’re scared that you’re getting slapped upside the head?” Alex snorted.

“No, I’m drinking because this will be the first time I introduce a girlfriend to my parents.” Meredith sighed as she turned to face Alex and Cristina. “They trust Addie, so if she likes Zona then they’re more likely to approve of her, but they’re extremely protective of me. Especially Bizzy. My father, he missed the first five years of my life and when he met me I was in shock after finding my biological mother’s dead body and hadn’t said a word in hours. As you can imagine, that made him more protective of me. Bizzy, I’m her little girl, she may not have given birth to me, but I’m her little girl and she witnessed me having flashbacks and nightmares, screaming for my biological mother to wake up. She never wanted to replace my mother, but it became apparent that I really needed a mother and she had no issue filling that void for me, going as far as legally adopting me. She brought me to almost every therapy appointment and after Addie went to college, she was my biggest emotional support. My mother trusts Addie and she knows that if there were any red flags, my sister wouldn’t stand by and wait for Zona to hurt me because I’m Addison’s baby, but she’s also more reluctant to trust anyone new in my life than my father is.” She took another sip of tequila. “Bizzy wants me to be happy, but not as much as she wants me to be safe and she may scare Zona away to ensure that I’m safe with her. She won’t mean to, but she can be intimidating. Anytime I brought a friend home Bizzy was always really protective and cautious, and those were people I wasn’t even sleeping with.”

“Mer, you said so yourself that she trusts your sister and that she wants you to be happy. I am sure that everything will be okay.” Cristina tried to gently take the bottle of tequila from Meredith, but the blonde pouted and tightened her hold on the bottle.

“Get your own.” Meredith whimpered. “This is mine.”

“Okay we might be in over our heads here.” Alex sighed before dialing Addison’s phone number. “Hey, Mer’s had more than half a bottle of tequila in the last hour and is panicking about your parents, namely your mother, coming to visit tomorrow. Yeah, lots of drunken rambling. Cristina just tried that, she just tightened her hold and told her to get her own. Okay, thank you Addison, we’ll be here until you get home. No problem.” He hung up the phone and looked at Cristina. “All she had left to do was paperwork, so she’s just going to make Izzie do it. She should be home in about twenty minutes.”

“Okay. Good. That’s good.” Cristina nodded and watched as Meredith giggled as she drank more tequila. Twenty minutes later, Addison walked into the living room and raised her eyebrow at her little sister, her eyes flickering to the almost empty bottle.

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery, what have I told you about drinking to cope with anxiety?” Addison knelt in front of Meredith and tried to pry the bottle out of her hands.

“Mine!” Meredith whined. “I’m almost done!”

“No, you are done. There is no almost about it.” Addison countered.

“You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!” Meredith slurred.

“That could certainly be arranged.” Addison glared at Meredith as she finally got the bottle from her and stood up. “I will go get you some water, do not move. Not that you could walk anyway.” She rolled her eyes and disappeared into the kitchen, tequila bottle in hand, for a moment before coming back with a tall glass of water with a straw. She sat down next to the blonde and brought the straw to her lips. “Drink some water, Meri.” She glanced over to Alex and Cristina with a grateful expression. “Thank you both, but I got it from here. This is not the first time I’ve had to deal with this.”

“Call us if you need anything.” Cristina said sincerely as she and Alex stood and gathered their belongings before leaving the sister’s alone.

“Oh Meri, my little shadow, I thought we were past this.” Addison ran her hand through Meredith’s hair as the blonde released the straw and turned her head away.

“Sorry.” Meredith slurred. “Just scared.”

“You think Bizzy is going to scare Zona away?” Meredith nodded as she curled into her older sister’s embrace. “Bizzy just wants you to be happy, you know. Zona makes you happy and for the record, I don’t think she’ll let anyone scare her away. She loves you too much, Shadow.”

“I love her too.” Meredith whispered as she went to stand up but lost her balance and fell back down onto the floor. “I’m really drunk.” She giggled.

“Yeah, drinking nearly an entire bottle of tequila will have that effect.” Addison let out a light chuckle. “Bizzy and The Captain will be here late tomorrow afternoon, you and I are both calling out tomorrow so you can recover from your hangover in peace.”

“Okay.” Meredith hummed with a goofy smile. “Have I ever mentioned that you are the world’s most bestest, greatest, prettiest sister in the history of all of the world?”

“Yup, you are drunk.” Addison laughed. “Let’s get you upstairs and into some pajamas.” She stood up and pulled Meredith to her feet, mostly supporting the blonde’s weight as they slowly walked up the stairs. Once they made it to Meredith’s bedroom, her older sister sat her down on her bed and went to her dresser to find a pair of pajamas. “Okay Meri, are you going to be okay if I go next door to change and then I’ll come right back?”

“Just don’t take too long.” Meredith pouted with wide and vulnerable eyes.

“I won’t.” Addison sealed her promise with a soft kiss to her sister’s forehead. When she came back into Meredith’s bedroom, the blonde immediately patted the empty spot on the bed next to her and her older sister smiled as she laid down next to her.

“Am I too old to cuddle with you?” Meredith asked softly.

“I am your big sister Meri, you will never be too old to cuddle with me.” Addison assured her. Meredith smiled and cuddled into her big sister’s side. The blonde seemed so much younger than she was when she was like this and it reminded the older woman of when she used to climb in her bed crying in the middle of the night after a nightmare. “Everything will be okay, Arizona is pretty hard not to love.”

“She is.” Meredith hummed. “Is the room supposed to spin?”

“Yeah, it’s a new feature installed by copious amounts of tequila.” Addison snorted as she rubbed Meredith’s back. “Let me know if you start feeling sick.”

“I’m good right now.” Meredith shut her eyes. “Love you Addie.”

“I love you too Meri.” Addison chuckled softly as Meredith fell asleep. Not long later Mark called and the redhead kept her voice quiet when she answered as to not disturb her little sister. “Hey honey, did you make it to your hotel?”

“I did, but I miss you. How are you feeling? Is your morning sickness still kicking your ass?” Mark asked as he sat down on the bed in his hotel room.

“It’s not that bad, it calmed down as the day went on.” Addison hummed. “Although, if it gets worse in the middle of the night, I probably won’t be the only one puking my guts out. Someone decided to drink almost an entire bottle of tequila in a very short time period.” She added with a chuckle.

“Mer hit the self-destruct button because she’s panicking about your parents meeting Arizona?” Mark snorted. “Classic Meredith.”

“Honestly, I think it’s less about Arizona and more about how worried they were when Mer said she wanted to move back to Seattle.” Addison confessed with a sigh. “She knows that Bizzy was especially worried and will pick apart every facial expression to figure out if she’s really okay, but it’s easy for her to focus on them meeting Zona because in reality, moving back to Seattle was a lot harder for her then she’ll ever admit.”

“I’m sure that everything will be just fine, but I hate that she did that to herself.” Mark sighed. “I take it your whispering because she’s asleep next to you?”

“Next to me, practically attached to me, what’s the difference?” Addison laughed lightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart, and I love our baby and our practice child.” Mark chuckled. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” Addison promised.

“You’re a good sister, you know that?” Mark asked.

“Well, according to Meri I am the world’s most bestest, greatest, prettiest sister in the history of all of the world.” Addison smiled down at Meredith’s sleeping face while Mark burst out laughing.

“Oh yeah, she is definitely drunk!” Mark cackled. “I wish I was there, I wonder what she would have to say about me.”

“Probably that you are the buttmunchiest buttmunch in the history of all the world.” Addison teased.

“Yeah, probably.” Mark snorted. “I’m a little jet lagged so I’m going to lay down. Did you eat dinner?”

“Yes.” Addison laughed at how overprotective Mark had become since they found out that she was pregnant. “I love you, get some rest and call me tomorrow.”

“I will.” Mark promised. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Addison hummed before ending the call and laying down and letting herself relax while Meredith was in a drunken, yet peaceful sleep. A few hours later the blonde woke up and ran to the bathroom, her sister not far behind her. The redhead held her hair back as she got sick. “Shhh, it’s okay.”

“I hate tequila.” Meredith groaned. “Actually I love tequila, but I hate what it does to me.”

“Well maybe if you didn't drink so much at a time, you wouldn’t feel like shit right now.” Addison pointed out.

“You make good points.” Meredith admitted. “Bizzy isn’t going to make me go back to Connecticut, right?”

“What?” Addison’s eyes widened. “Why would you think that?”

“We both know that she wasn’t crazy about me coming to Seattle in the first place and now I’m putting my hands on bombs, my girlfriend taught me how to roller skate, and Thatcher’s daughter is one of your patient’s.” Meredith explained. “What if she thinks I’m having a mental breakdown and wants to take me home?”

“Meredith, she can’t make you go back to Connecticut if you don’t want to.” Addison assured her baby sister. “Plus, as long as you don’t roller skate into a crash cart I really don’t think she’ll care. She’s probably going to slap both of us because of the bomb, and she already knows that you may see Thatcher again and knows that I’ll protect you. Bizzy loves you and as long as you are happy in Seattle, she’ll be happy for you.”

“I’m sorry I got so drunk.” Meredith sighed. “You should have to deal with this.”

“You’re my sister, this is part of the job.” Addison smiled and kissed Meredith’s temple. “Let’s go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Meredith nodded and the two walked back into the blonde’s bedroom and went back to sleep. By the time it was time to pick their parent’s up from the airport, she was feeling much better with the worst of her hangover behind her and a lot of her anxiety gone.

“Oh Meredith! My babygirl!” Bizzy pushed past Addison to get to Meredith, as the redhead just laughed and hugged The Captain.

“I’m here too, as is your first grandchild. Yet another person for you to like more than you like me.” Addison snorted as Bizzy wrapped her in a hug.

“You know that I love you, Addie.” Bizzy laughed. “But you didn’t almost die two weeks ago.”

“We missed you both.” The Captain chuckled as he wrapped his arm around Meredith and glanced down at his youngest. “Although it would be nice if you didn’t put your hand on a bomb, I had to stop your mother from flying here the moment Addie called us.”

“Speaking of that.” Bizzy slapped Addison upside the head and then slapped Meredith. “Tell Mark next time I see him, I’m slapping him twice since he left the state to avoid me.”

“Will do.” Addison promised with a laugh. They brought their parents to the hotel that they were staying at and then picked them up a couple of hours later to go out for dinner. Meredith beamed when she saw Arizona already sitting down and waiting for them.

“Hi.” Meredith smiled and kissed Arizona lightly when the old blonde stood up to greet them.

“Hi.” Arizona tucked Meredith’s hair behind her ears.

“Bizzy, The Captain, this is my girlfriend Arizona.” Meredith joined hands with Arizona and smiled at her parents. “Zona, these are my parents.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you both, I have heard so much about you.” Arizona shook Bizzy’s hand and then The Captain’s.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Arizona.” The Captain smiled.

“Addie, do we like her?” Bizzy glanced at Addison who was trying not to laugh.

“We do.” Addison nodded. “She’s great to Meri, if she wasn’t I would have killed her by now.”

“My life was threatened after mine and Mer’s first date.” Arizona laughed as the five sat down. “I love your daughter and all I want to do is make her happy.”

“All we want is for Mer to be happy.” The Captain agreed. “Right Bizzy?”

“Right.” Bizzy agreed. “I guess if Addie approves of you, I’ll spare you the interrogation, but if you hurt my little girl I swear I will fly to Seattle and help Addison hide your body.”

“I won’t hurt her.” Arizona promised in a serious tone. “And if I do, I’ll never forgive myself.” Bizzy smiled approvingly as they ordered their drinks. By the end of the dinner, both she and The Captain fully approved of the older blonde and smiled as Meredith left with her instead of with them.

“She seems really happy.” Bizzy smiled as she watched Meredith and Arizona leave together.

“She is.” Addison hummed. “It’s nice seeing her so happy.”

“It is.” The Captain agreed as they walked out behind the couple who were giggling quietly as they walked with their fingers intertwined and shared a sweet kiss as they walked into the parking lot. 

Chapter Text

“I wanted to give you something before your father and I went home.” Bizzy sat down on Meredith’s bed and handed her a small box. “I know that you and Arizona have only been together for a couple of months, but you’ve never wanted to introduce a girlfriend to us before, so that tells me that she’s special and that you may need this one day.” The blonde opened the box and then looked up at her mother with wide eyes that were quickly filling with tears.

“Your mother’s engagement ring?” Meredith’s voice shook.

“I know that it’ll be a while before you use it, but I think Arizona is a good match for you and if you decide to propose to her someday, I want you to have the option of using this ring.” Bizzy explained as Meredith gazed at the white gold band decorated with little aquamarines and a large pear cut diamond in the middle.

“It’s gorgeous.” Meredith breathed as she looked at Bizzy. “That’s a big diamond.”

“It’s only 5.5 carats.” Bizzy chuckled.

“I’d want to wait until we’ve been together at least a year before proposing.” Meredith stared at the ring. “The aquamarine makes me think of her eyes though, it really would be perfect, but I know how much your mother’s ring means to you.”

“Not as much as you and your happiness means to me.” Bizzy kissed the top of Meredith’s head. “I’m not trying to pressure you, I know your relationship is new and you’re not ready for marriage, but I really wanted you to have it.”

“Thank you.” Meredith shut the ring box and hugged her mother tightly. “This means more to me than you know. I won’t be using it for awhile, but you giving this to me tells me that you really approve of Arizona and I was so scared that you wouldn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t I approve?” Bizzy cocked her head to the side. “Arizona is a delightful woman. She’s smart, funny, accomplished, and most importantly she cares about you and makes you happy. What is there to disapprove of?”

“I know that you weren’t exactly excited about me coming back to Seattle and since moving back here I’ve been sleeping with an attending, putting my hands on bombs, learning how to roller skate, and Thatcher is around. I was scared that you would think that I was having a breakdown and that Arizona was just a part of that breakdown or that she was taking advantage of me.” Meredith explained with a heavy sigh. “Coming back to Seattle was a lot harder than I thought, but Arizona makes me forget what I went through and makes me see the beauty in Seattle. Our first date was at a restaurant that used to be the home of my favorite chocolate chip waffles. She didn’t know that at the time, but once I told her she made it a point to find the old restaurants waffle recipe and now she makes them for me every time we have a day off together. I feel like I focused on what Ellis did and how scary and traumatizing that was that I forgot that there were good parts of my life here, but with Arizona I’m starting to remember.”

“You’re right, I was very nervous that you coming back to Seattle would trigger you too much, but as you have for the majority of your life, you have proved me wrong.” Bizzy cupped Meredith’s cheek. “When you first came to live with us, you were so shy and so vulnerable that all I ever wanted to do was protect you and keep you safe. Overtime, you grew into this spunky and beautiful girl that it was almost hard to even remember how timid you were at first and the last thing I ever want is for you to revert back to being so unsure of yourself, but you, my dear, are the strongest person that I have ever met and there is very little that you cannot handle. Not to mention, if Addie likes Arizona then I know that I have nothing to worry about because your big sister is even more protective of you than I am.”

“Did she tell you the baby names she picked out?” Meredith beamed.

“She did.” Bizzy nodded with a knowing smile. “I take it that you’re hoping it’s a girl?”

“Can you blame me? Ella Meredith Sloan is a beautiful name.” Meredith giggled.

“It is.” Bizzy agreed as she hugged her youngest child close. “She loves you more than anything, you know, and she always will.”

“I know.” Meredith nodded against Bizzy’s shoulder. “She thinks you see her as more of a co parent than a child in a lot of ways, but it doesn’t bother her.”

“She is my child, but she’s right.” Bizzy admitted. “In many ways, Addie has always been your third parent and when it comes to you, I do sometimes forget that Addison is my child and not a co parent because the way she cares about you and has since day one, it made her forget that I was her mother. When we talk about you, she doesn’t talk to me like a child talking to her mother, she talks to me like she is a parent discussing their child with the other parent.” She chuckled. “Even at fifteen years old, you were her baby and she would have done anything for you.”

“Would you rather have a granddaughter or a grandson?” Meredith asked as she wiped the tears that had started to spill down her cheeks.

“I’ll be happy with either, but I have to admit as beautiful as her girl name is and as much as I love it, her boy name is just adorable.” Bizzy smiled with a small laugh.

“Jasper Alexander Sloan does have a nice ring to it.” Meredith agreed with a hum. “I still prefer the girl name though.”

“Of course you do.” Addison snorted as she appeared in the doorway. “I have this gut feeling that she is a girl, but Mark really wants a boy.” She walked into the room and sat down on the bed next to Meredith, immediately noting the tear stains on her cheeks. The redhead looked at Bizzy with a stern expression. “What did you do to my little shadow?”

“Nothing, we were just talking about her and Arizona and then about how much you love her and she got a little emotional, but everything is okay.” Bizzy promised her oldest daughter.

“She gave me granny’s engagement ring, which also made me emotional.” Meredith added as she picked the ring box back up.

“Please tell me you don’t plan on proposing anytime soon. I like Arizona, but I don’t want you to move too fast. You’re still settling back into Seattle and adjusting to being an intern, as well as processing everything that happened when you lived here as a child. I don’t want you to jump into something like this on a whim, it would break my heart if you got hurt.” Addison’s voice was soft and conveyed genuine worry.

“I have no plans to propose until we’ve been together for at least a year.” Meredith assured her big sister. “And believe me, when and if I do decide to propose, you will know. Just like when Mark wanted to propose to you, he came to me before he even bought the ring and then invited me to go ring shopping.”

“I still love the ring that you helped pick out for me.” Addison smiled as she looked down at her engagement ring. “Of course, I’m sure that despite you both saying that you only helped pick it out, that you are the one who actually picked it out. I love Mark to death, but the man doesn’t have good taste.” The redhead snorted.

“I’ll never forget when Mark sat you down and asked for your blessing to marry Addie.” Bizzy smiled fondly at the memory. “He didn’t even ask me or your father, your blessing was the only one that mattered to him.”

“I also think he realized pretty early on that I’m the one that calls the shots in our family.” Meredith giggled. “You all just kinda follow my lead.”

“She’s not wrong.” Addison laughed as she kissed Meredith’s temple. The three fell into a peaceful silence until the blonde’s phone went off. “Hello? It’s my day off and my parents are leaving in a couple of hours so I’m trying to spend time with them. I understand. Yes, I will be there as soon as I can.” She sighed as she hung up the phone and shut her eyes.

“Shadow?” Addison looked at Meredith with concerned eyes. “Are you okay?”

“The chief wants to see me as soon as possible but he won’t tell me why so I’m trying to think about anything I’ve done lately that could have resulted in me getting into trouble.” Meredith explained as she opened her eyes. “I’m coming up blank though. Since the bomb I’ve been on my best behavior.”

“You make it sound like the bomb was so long ago.” Addison snorted. “You’ve only been back to work for a week.”

“Yes, and I have been on my best behavior.” Meredith rolled her eyes at Addison before turning to Bizzy and embracing her tightly. “If I’m not back before you leave, I love you and I hope that you have a safe flight.”

“I love you too.” Bizzy pulled back and kissed Meredith’s forehead. “I’ll talk to you on Friday?”

“Yes. I will call you after my shift.” Meredith promised as she stood up. Addison and Bizzy both took notice of the look of anxiety on the blonde’s face and after a shared glance in which they had a silent conversation, the redhead stood up too.

“I’ll drive you, just let me get my purse.” Addison left the room before Meredith could argue and the blonde looked at Bizzy and huffed.

“I’ll be fine going on my own.” Meredith groaned.

“With how anxious you look, the idea of you driving doesn’t exactly appeal to me. Let Addie drive you, for me.” Bizzy said softly. Meredith sighed and then nodded.

“Fine.” Meredith relented. “Are you going to take a cab back to your hotel?”

“I am, don’t worry about me honey.” Bizzy stood up and kissed Meredith’s forehead. “Let me know how your meeting with the chief goes.” Meredith nodded and met Addison downstairs. The drive to the hospital was quiet other than the blonde’s anxious fingers tapping on the window. When they arrived at the hospital, the redhead made the decision to accompany her little sister to Richard’s office.

“Addie, I’m fine.” Meredith huffed and rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to come with me.”

“Meri, I’m the one person you can’t lie to.” Addison reminded her gently. “I can read you far too well to believe your claims that you’re fine.”

“I am fine.” Meredith insisted. “I’m just, Meredith fine which is different from normal fine.” Addison chuckled as they approached Richard’s office.

“Don’t worry, if Richard says anything stupid I’ll slap him right upside the bald head.” Addison promised as Meredith knocked on the office door. When they walked in, Richard was taken aback by the redhead’s presence, but quickly masked it with a smile.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, please sit down.” Richard gestured to the chairs in front of his desk.

“Whatever you think I did, it wasn’t me.” Meredith said as she sat down. “I’ve only been back to work for a week and I have been on my best behavior.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” Richard assured Meredith, who visibly deflated in her seat.

“Then why did you insist on me coming in right away.” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Thatcher Grey came to see me and gave me something that he wanted you to have.” Richard handed Meredith an envelope. “I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow and just leave it in my desk overnight, I’m sorry if I worried you.” Meredith opened the envelope and scanned over its contents before putting it back down.

“I’m going to go visit Arizona.” Meredith stood up and fled the office before either of them could react. Addison picked up the envelope and then glared at Richard.

“Did you know what was in this?” Addison asked, her voice shaking with anger.

“Thatcher told me.” Richard admitted.

“You couldn’t have given her some warning?!” Addison yelled. “Do you not realize that what Ellis did has stuck with my sister for years? It is something that deeply traumatized her and just because she came back to Seattle does not mean she is healed! She still wakes up screaming sometimes from nightmares and it’s been nineteen years. She was so anxious when you called her, but she was positive it had something to do with work. Not a letter from the woman that tucked her into bed and then walked down the stairs to slit her fucking wrists.” The redhead stormed out of the office and slammed the door behind her to go check on her sister.

Meredith snuck up behind Arizona at the pediatric nurse’s station, her head racing with a mix of thoughts and flashbacks that she tried to push away. “You’re so cute when you’re in work mode.” She whispered into her girlfriend’s ear and giggled when she jumped in surprise and turned around.

“I thought you were off today to spend some extra time with your parents before they went home?” Arizona kissed Meredith softly. “Although, I do love this surprise.”

“Richard had to talk to me about something, it wasn’t a big deal though.” Meredith shrugged. “It meant getting to see you which always makes me happy.”

“Seeing you makes me happy too.” Arizona smiled. “But are you sure that you’re okay, you seem a little off.”

“I’m okay.” Meredith nodded as Alex walked up. “Hey Alex.”

“Hey Mer, I thought you were off today?” Alex asked.

“I am, but I missed my girlfriend so I figured why not stop by.” Meredith responded, immediately setting off alarm bells in Arizona. The intern told her that she had to come talk to the chief, but she told her friend that she just wanted to come see Arizona. It may not mean anything, but with the knowledge that the younger blonde normally tells Alex everything, her leaving out that the chief wanted to speak to her was odd. Addison walked up to the group and upon seeing the concern and confusion on the pediatric surgeon's face, she gave her a small nod to assure her that everything was okay.

“Meri, are you ready to go? We still have about an hour before we have to bring Bizzy and The Captain to the airport. Maybe we can grab a quick bite to eat before we drop them off?” Addison suggested.

“I’m actually kind of tired.” Meredith lied as she turned to her older sister. “Can you drop me at home before you go to pick them up?”

“Sure.” Addison smiled tightly as she nodded. Meredith said bye to Alex and then gave Arizona a quick kiss before she and the redhead walked towards the elevator. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Meredith argued. “Nothing at all.”

Chapter Text

After Addison dropped Meredith off at home she drove to her parents’ hotel and knocked on the door. The Captain answered and immediately took in the look of concern on his oldest daughter’s face. “Addie? What’s wrong?” He stepped aside so she could enter and Bizzy guided her over to bed just as tears started rolling down her face.

“I’m worried about Meri.” Addison choked on a sob. “And I also want to skin Richard Webber alive.” The redhead fell into her mother’s open arms and wept on her shoulder. “Thatcher dropped by with a letter for Mer written by Ellis from the night that she killed herself and Richard apparently felt that it wasn’t necessary to give her any warning before calling her in and handing it to her.”

“Is Mer okay?” The Captain asked as he sat down on the bed and began rubbing soothing circles into Addison’s back.

“She left the office after she saw what it was and went to go see Arizona. After I was down yelling at Richard for ambushing her, I went to check on her and she seemed off and I could tell that Zona was concerned too. I suggested that we come pick you guys up and stop off somewhere for a quick bite before bringing you to the airport, but she said she was tired and asked me to drop her at home first. I asked if we were going to talk about it, but according to her there’s nothing to talk about. She was completely silent in the car and then jumped out of the car before I even came to a complete stop when we got home.” Addison explained with a heavy sigh.

“So Richard’s an idiot and she’s not okay.” Bizzy summarized.

“That about sums it up.” Addison let out a watery and humorous laugh. “I’m worried.”

“I’ll cancel the meeting I have scheduled for tomorrow as well as push everything else on my calendar and we’ll stay.” The Captain took his phone out of his pocket and prepared to call his assistant when Bizzy stopped him.

“You know that Mer wouldn’t want you rearranging things for her. If there is anything that girl fears more than abandonment, it’s being a burden.” Bizzy pointed out. “You go home, I’ll stay. If it’s bad then you can come back, but both of us staying could cause her to shut down further or lash out and she’s hurting as much as it is.”

“I hate when you’re right.” The Captain sighed. “Do you like this hotel? We can extend your stay, but you might have to move to a different room.”

“She can come stay with us, we do have a guest room.” Addison rolled her eyes. “I offered it to you guys in the first place, but of course you didn’t want to impose.”

“Yeah well now my babygirl is struggling so I have no issues imposing.” Bizzy stood up. “Come on, we’ll drop your father off at the airport and then go see how Mer’s doing.” After they dropped The Captain off and promised to tell Meredith that he loved her and would come back in a heartbeat if she needed him, they headed back to the house where the blonde was wrapped up in a comforter on her bed staring blankly ahead. “Mer?” Bizzy sat down at the edge of the bed and brushed her youngest child’s hair away from her face. “Talk to me honey.”

“I’m fine.” Meredith whispered in a raspy voice.

“Bullshit.” Addison snorted as she laid down in the bed next to Meredith. “You’re not even ‘Meredith fine’ right now. You are completely not okay and neither one of us are going anywhere until you talk to us.” The blonde turned over to glare at her older sister, her bottom lip jutted out in a slight pout.

“You’re mean.” Meredith huffed. “Is it really necessary to call me out like that?”

“Yes.” Addison nodded. “How much of the letter did you read?”

“I just skimmed it over, but when I noticed the date on it I felt sick.” Meredith sighed. “I wish Richard gave me some sort of warning before dropping that on me.”

“From what I hear, your sister gave him a piece of her mind.” Bizzy chuckled.

“Of course she did.” Meredith giggled softly. “He didn’t fire you, did he?”

“I left to go check on you before he even had the opportunity to respond.” Addison laughed lightly. “We do need to talk about this because you’re not okay and we’re worried about you, are The Captain and Arizona.”

“Did you read the letter?” Meredith asked.

“No.” Addison shook her head. “I just saw who it was signed by and exploded. I didn’t want to violate your privacy by reading it.”

“Thanks.” Meredith hummed. “Like I said, I only skimmed it but basically from what I did read it seemed to be Ellis apologizing to me for keeping me from my father and for doing what she had to do to make it right. I got overwhelmed and just needed to get out of there.”

“That’s understandable honey.” Bizzy assured Meredith who still looked lost and vulnerable.

“Yeah, I guess.” Meredith whispered. “Can I please be alone?”

“Of course.” Bizzy kissed Meredith’s forehead before standing up. “We’ll be right downstairs if you need us.”

“I love you Meri.” Addison leaned over and kissed Meredith’s forehead.

“I know, I love you guys too.” Meredith turned back onto her side and went back to staring at the wall while Addison and Bizzy quietly left the room. They walked down the stairs and settled onto the couch, both of them still concerned, but grateful that they got the blonde to talk a little bit.

“What are we going to do? I hate seeing her like this.” Addison laid her head back against the couch and shut her eyes.

“I hate this just as much as you do, but you and I both know that if she isn’t willing to talk to you that there is only one person that she might talk to.” Bizzy pointed out.

“I know.” Addison sighed and took out her phone. “Hi honey.”

“Hey sweetheart, are you okay? You sound exhausted.” Mark walked into the hallway of the conference that he was at and found a quiet corner.

“I’m just worried about Meri. Richard called her and said he needed to talk to her right away so of course she was anxious thinking she did something wrong, but it turns out Thatcher found a letter that Ellis wrote for her before killing herself and brought it to Richard to give to Meredith. He gave her no warning as to what was in the envelope so she opened it and got overwhelmed by it. She’s not really talking to me or Bizzy about how she really feels and says she just wants to be alone.” Addison explained.

“I’ll be on the next flight home.” Mark decided, already walking towards the door to the conference center to go to his hotel room and get his stuff.

“I was just thinking that you could call her, you don’t have to leave the conference.” Addison sighed.

“No, this calls for chocolate milk and cheesecake, neither of those things I can provide via phone call.” Mark argued as he caught a taxi back to his hotel. “I’m on my way to the hotel now to get my stuff and then I’m heading straight to the airport. When I get back to Seattle I’ll stop by the grocery store before I head home.”

“Do you need me to pick you up from the airport? There’s no point wasting money on a cab when I’m perfectly capable of coming to get you.” Addison pointed out.

“No, stay with her. I’ll be fine.” Mark promised. “I love you, I’ll call you from the airport and let you know when I’ll be home.”

“Okay, I love you too.” Addison hung up the phone and turned to Bizzy. “He’s coming home.”

“I’m not surprised, he loves Mer just as much as we do and has known her for half of her life.” Bizzy smiled softly. “You married a good one, Addie.”

“I did.” Addison agreed. “When we first met, I was terrified that my close relationship with Mer would scare him off, but he surprised me. It was actually his idea for the middle name to be Meredith if we have a girl. After the bomb, she tried to go back to work after only two days and her resident put her on scut because no one felt she was ready to come back. Mark found her walking out of a supply closet looking dazed and decided to bring her home. She ended up breaking down and finally admitted that she was terrified during the bomb situation and still wasn’t okay. I don’t know how he does it, but even when I fail to get the truth out of her, he always can.”

“Because they have something in common, they both love you more than anything else in the world.” Bizzy took Addison’s hand in hers. “Mark has always been kind to her because he knows how much your sister means to you and you mean everything to him.”

“He told me that the day he first met Mer and she interrogated him was the day he knew that not only would Mer come first in my life, but also his. He sees her as his little sister, not his sister in law, but just his sister.” Addison smiled and then stood up when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to a nervous Arizona shifting awkwardly on her feet.

“Hey Addie, is Mer here?” Arizona bit the inside of her cheek. “She hasn’t been answering my calls or texts and I’m worried.”

“She’s here, but she said she wanted to be alone.” Addison sighed. “You can go up and see if she’ll talk to you, but I really don’t know if she will.” She stepped aside and let Arizona enter the house.

“Thanks.” Arizona whispered as she began to walk up the stairs. She pushed Meredith’s bedroom door open and felt her heart break when she could hear her girlfriend’s sobs. “Tinker Bell?” She knelt beside the bed and wiped the tears from her face.

“Please go away.” Meredith sobbed. “I just want to be alone.”

“Okay.” Arizona nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too, but I need to be alone right now.” Meredith turned so her back was to Arizona. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay.” Arizona kissed the side of Meredith’s head and then walked back down the stairs. “She’s sobbing her eyes out, but maintains that she wants to be alone.”

“She’s had a hard day.” Bizzy waved Arizona over to the couch where she and Addison were sitting. “I’m going to stay a few extra days to ensure that she’s okay before I go home.”

“Am I allowed to ask what happened?” Arizona asked in a soft voice. “When she came to see me at the hospital, she said that the chief needed to talk to her but that it wasn’t a big deal. Then when Alex showed up she said that she came to the hospital to visit me, which was weird because I’ve never known her to lie to Alex.”

“Thatcher dropped off a letter that he found. Ellis wrote it for Meredith before she killed herself. Richard called her in with no explanation and when he handed her the envelope all he said was that Thatcher dropped it off, he apparently felt no need to include that it was a letter for the woman who killed herself while she slept upstairs. As you can imagine, this was overwhelming for her and she fled the office pretty quickly to go find you.” Addison explained.

“She talked briefly to the two of us, but then asked to be alone, so we called in reinforcements.” Bizzy added.

“Reinforcements?” Arizona raised an eyebrow.

“Mark.” Addison chuckled. “If she won’t talk to me, she will talk to him. Don’t ask me why, because truthfully I don’t fully understand it either, but those two have always had a really strong bond.”

“As long as she talks to someone.” Arizona sighed as she stood up. “If she changes her mind and wants to see me, just have her call me.” She smiled before walking towards the front door and softly closing it behind her.

“I like her.” Bizzy beamed as Addison laughed and nodded in agreement. Later that night, Mark walked in the front door with a grocery bag slung on his arm while he pulled his luggage with his other hand. After kissed Addison and her stomach and greeting Bizzy with a hug, he ran upstairs to where Meredith was still in bed crying, having not moved at all in hours despite both her sister and mother trying and failing to get her to join them downstairs.

“You’re scaring the shit out of Addie and Bizzy, in case you didn’t know.” Mark sat down in the chair in the corner closet to Meredith’s bed. “And if your goal was to get me to come home early, you could have just called and asked.”

“They called you?” Meredith groaned as she turned her back to Mark. “Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?”

“Because too many people care about you to just let you lay up here and cry without trying to help you.” Mark walked over to the bed and sat down at the foot of it. “I brought chocolate milk and cheesecake.” He picked up the grocery bag and sat it on the bed while Meredith turned over to face him, her face stained with tears and her eyes red and puffy.

“Variety cheesecake?” Meredith perked up slightly.

“What is this? My first day?” Mark laughed. “Of course it's a variety cheesecake!” He opened the cheesecake while Meredith sat up.

“Let me guess, if I want some I need to talk to you about why I’m so upset?” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“No.” Mark handed Meredith a slice of turtle cheesecake and watched her shove it into her mouth. “But if you want some chocolate milk to wash that down with then you’ll need to talk to me.”

“Buttmunch.” Meredith mumbled with her mouth full while she glared at Mark. “Give me the chocolate milk and then I’ll tell you.”

“Again, do you think that this is my first day?” Mark snorted. “If you want the chocolate milk, you better start talking.”

“Fine.” Meredith huffed and rolled her eyes. “I called Thatcher after I left Richard’s office and apparently he told Richard to make sure I was aware of what was in the envelope and to stress that it was okay if I didn’t want it, but do you think Richard did any of that? No! Because he still sees me as Ellis Grey’s little girl, but I am not Ellis Grey’s little girl and I haven’t been for a long time! Ellis tucked me into bed and then wrote me a letter telling me how much she loved me and how sorry she was for keeping me from my father, but that she was young and scared and was terrified that The Captain would take me from her, then she said that she couldn’t live with the guilt anymore. After writing that letter, she slit her wrists. How can she say that she loved me and kept me from my father because she was scared of losing me just to then abandon me in the worst way possible?” Tears streamed down her face. “I’m happy that I got to know my father and my siblings and Bizzy, but what she did still haunts me and I just wish that there was a way that I could still have the life that I have had without having to go through that trauma.” Mark handed her the chocolate milk and then after she took a long sip, he pulled his sister in law into his arms.

“What Ellis did was incredibly selfish and I understand why it is hard for you to believe that she really loved you, if I was in your shoes I don’t think that I would believe it either.” Mark kissed the top of Meredith’s head.

“But?” Meredith sensed that Mark was going somewhere with this and while she wasn’t sure if she was completely ready to find out what he had to say next, a part of her really wanted to know.

“But holding all of this in, it’s going to end up killing you.” Mark continued as he stood up. “Get up, we’re going for a ride.”

“Where are we going?” Meredith asked skeptically as she stood up from the bed.

“Ellis’ grave. You have some things that you need to get off your chest and I think that it’s best if you say them to her as directly as possible.” Mark explained.

“This is stupid.” Meredith pouted.

“We can bring the cheesecake.” Mark offered.

“Deal.” Meredith relented and followed Mark down the stairs.

As they pulled up to the cemetery, Meredith felt a sense of unease creep over her as she anxiously ate a piece of chocolate cheesecake. Begrudgingly, she followed Mark down the path that led to Ellis’ grave. “Should we even be here? Doesn’t the cemetery close at sundown?”

“As if you’ve ever been opposed to being places that you shouldn’t be. If I remember correctly, once it was discovered that there was a bomb inside of Mr. Carlson, Teddy told you to go get reassigned but you refused.” Mark chuckled.

“Are we still on that?” Meredith groaned. “It’s been two weeks.”

“You make it sound like two weeks is such a long time.” Mark snorted as they stopped in front of Ellis’ headstone. “I’ll give you a minute.” He went to walk away, but Meredith reached out to grab his arm.

“Stay.” Meredith looked up at Mark with vulnerable eyes. “Please.” He nodded and stepped off to the side while the blonde turned to face Ellis’ headstone. “What you did, it hurt me deeply. You tucked me in and told me that I’d meet my father the next day. I remember being so excited that it was hard to fall asleep, but eventually I did and then when I woke up I was confused because it was late in the morning and typically we got up early. I was five years old. I was a baby. Your baby.” Her voice shook as she shut her eyes.

“Keep going.” Mark encouraged gently.

“I walked into that fucking kitchen and find you sprawled out in a pool of your own blood and I was so scared. I knew that you were dead so I stood on a chair and I called 911. You claimed that you loved me more than anything and Thatcher said that that was true, but how could you slit your wrists in the goddamn kitchen if you loved me? You had to have known that I would be the one to find your body since I was the only one in the house. All of these happy memories that you spent all that time making with me were erased by what you did because now all I remember is you tucking me in and then finding your body the following morning. You abandoned me and now nineteen years later I’m supposed to just believe that you loved me because of what other people say or what you wrote in a letter? I have had a good life, but I am still haunted by your ghost and I cannot handle it anymore! You are not my mother, you’re just someone who used to pour my cereal in the morning. I hate you, but more than that I feel sorry for you.” She turned away from the headstone with tears streaming down her face and her breath shaky as she looked up at Mark. “Please, get me out of here.”

“You did great.” Mark wrapped his arm around Meredith’s shoulders and guided her back to the car. “Ready to go home?”

“Can we make a stop first?” Meredith requested quietly. Mark nodded and handed her his phone to put the address in the gps. Twenty minutes later she knocked on the door to Arizona’s apartment and bit her lip. Her girlfriend opened the door, but before she could say anything the younger blonde started rambling. “I’m broken. My biological mother killed herself when I was five years old and that broke me. No matter how good of a life that I’ve had, I have never been able to get the image of Ellis’ dead body out of my head and I don’t think that I ever will. I’m dark and I’m twisty and sometimes I drink way too much tequila. I do stupid and reckless things like put my hand inside of a body cavity with a bomb inside of it and then try to go back to work two days later. I snore very loudly and I sing in the shower, only it sounds like a goat being slaughtered. I am a mess, but I love you. I love you so much, so I’m asking you to please not give up on me.” Arizona smiled and pulled Meredith into a slow and deep kiss.

“I will never give up on you.” Arizona promised. “I love you far too much to give up on you, and for the record I don’t think you’re broken. Maybe a little damaged, but not broken.” She chuckled as Meredith wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her again, this kiss longer than the last.

“Do you want to come over? Mark and I have half a cheesecake in the car and I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing.” Meredith giggled as Arizona leaned in to kiss her once more.

“I would love to.” Arizona beamed as she tucked Meredith’s hair behind her ears.

Chapter Text

The next morning Mark stormed into Richard’s office without knocking, his expression hard with anger as he stared down at the chief of surgery who just stared back with a confused expression on his face. “Dr. Sloan, I thought you were out of town until tomorrow?”

“I was supposed to be, but because you are an idiot I came back early.” Mark’s voice was ice cold as Richard stood up and walked towards him.

“Excuse me? Have you forgotten that I’m your boss?” Richard demanded as he stood face to face with Mark, both of them glaring at the other and refusing to back down.

“No, but you seem to have forgotten that Ellis Grey committed suicide while her five year old slept upstairs and then that same five year old found her dead body in a pool of blood the following morning.” Mark countered. “Do you seriously think that giving Meredith that letter without any warning was a good idea after the trauma that Ellis Grey put her through when she decided to take her own life?”

“She deserves to know that despite what Ellis did, she still loved her. Ellis absolutely adored Meredith and she is still her mother.” Richard defended with a sharp voice while Mark just rolled his eyes.

“Meredith’s mother is Bizzy Forbes. That is the woman who took her in and has loved and raised her since she was five years old. Hell, Addison is more of a mother to her than Ellis. You don’t get to tuck your child in for bed and then slit your damn wrists and leave your lifeless body for your child to find and then still be seen as that child’s mother!” Mark shouted. “You need to stop treating my sister like she’s Ellis Grey’s little girl because all you are doing is hurting her and when you hurt Meredith you hurt Addison and hurting Addison could hurt my child! I do not tolerate people hurting the people I love, Richard.”

“What happened was a long time ago Mark, if Meredith can handle working in the hospital that Ellis worked in then she should be able to handle knowing how loved she was by Ellis!” Richard argued.

“I am not fighting with you about this Richard! You need to respect Meredith’s boundaries regarding Ellis and respect that in her eyes, Ellis is nothing more than an egg donor. If you can’t do that then I will quit and find another hospital to work at and I will take Meredith and Addison with me.” Mark threatened. “By the way, Meredith, Addison, and Arizona are all taking the day off.”

“They can’t do that!” Richard yelled. “Unless they are sick they need to come in!”

“No.” Mark responded firmly. “Meredith is a fucking mess! She is such a mess that her mother ended up staying in Seattle instead of going back to Connecticut to be here for her and Addison will do nothing but worry if she’s not there. As for Arizona, last I checked Meredith was completely unwilling to detach herself from her. This is your fault Richard, you decided to take her choice away by not telling her what was in that envelope. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Are you at least staying and working today?” Richard sighed.

“No. I’m not not even supposed to be in Seattle today, why would I come to work? Especially when I’m more needed at home than I am here.” Mark rolled his eyes. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? What is your thing with Ellis anyway? Why are you so determined to push her on Meredith? Were you fucking her or something?”

“Watch yourself Sloan!” Richard yelled. “You may be upset with me, but I am still your boss and I will not hesitate to fire you!”

“I dare you.” Mark stepped into Richard’s personal space. “Just remember, if you fire me you lose Addison and Meredith. Honestly, you would probably lose Arizona too because I highly doubt that she would want to work for someone who is emotionally torturing her girlfriend unless her girlfriend was still here. The choice is yours. Think about it.” With that he stormed out of the office and back out to his car to drive home.

“Tinker Bell you need to eat something for breakfast, all you ate yesterday was cheesecake.” Arizona urged softly as Meredith buried her face in her neck with a whimper. “What if I make you chocolate chip waffles?”

“No.” Meredith mumbled into Arizona’s neck as she shook her head. “I’d have to let go of you and I do not want to!”

“Meri, what if I make you something for breakfast? You can hold onto Arizona until it’s ready.” Addison offered as she ran her hand through Meredith’s hair.

“Don’t want you to go either.” Meredith whimpered as she reached for Addison’s hand.

“I could cook. You love my pancakes.” Bizzy smiled.

“No!” Meredith yelled as she lifted her head up. “I do not want any of you to leave me! Just stop asking!”

“We won’t go anywhere.” Arizona promised as she kissed Meredith’s lips softly.

“Where’s buttmunch? I want him too.” Meredith mumbled.

“He had to go run an errand, he should be back soon. Do you want to call him?” Addison held her phone out and smiled when Meredith took it and called Mark.

“Addie? Is everything okay?” Mark answered the phone with a worried voice.

“It’s me and no everything is not okay. How can everything be okay when my favorite buttmunch isn’t here?” Meredith sighed dramatically.

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing that I just pulled into the driveway.” Mark laughed. “I also stopped at that bakery you like and got donuts.”

“God, I am so happy my sister married you.” Meredith giggled. “You better have gotten lemon filled!”

“And for the thousandth time in the last sixteen hours, do you think this is my first day?” Mark snorted. “I’ll be in in a second, are you guys all upstairs?”

“Yeah, your chair is open and it misses your ass.” Meredith snarked playfully.

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery, watch your language!” Bizzy scolded.

“Ooh someone’s in trouble!” Mark teased. “I’ll be up in a second.” Meredith hung up the phone and turned to Bizzy with an innocent smile.

“Being cute does not get you out of everything.” Bizzy chuckled. “You know I don’t like hearing that kind of language from my kids.”

“But I’m your favorite.” Meredith pouted. “And I’m emotionally fragile, can’t I get a pass?” Bizzy pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a heavy sigh.

“Fine, I won’t lecture you on how you can get your point across without cussing just this once.” Bizzy decided.

“That’s not fair! You never give me a pass!” Addison groaned.

“I’ve given you passes on a lot and you know it.” Bizzy retorted.

“Okay that’s true.” Addison admitted as Mark walked in the room with a box of donuts and leaned down to kiss his wife before placing the donuts on the bed next to Bizzy. He plopped down on his chair and reached forward for a donut.

“So what did I miss?” Mark smirked.

“Mer gets away with everything because she’s cute and emotionally fragile and Addie is jealous.” Arizona summarized with a laugh. “But apparently Addie has also gotten away with a lot so she has no reason to be jealous.”

“Sounds typical for when the three of them are together.” Mark snorted before turning serious. “Okay, so we need to talk.”

“I just want to eat my donut in peace.” Meredith whined.

“Mer, I went to talk to Richard this morning.” Mark watched as Meredith nearly dropped her donut before recovering at the last second.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Meredith whispered.

“Yes I did.” Mark argued with a sigh. “He’s hurting you which I don’t like, by extension he’s also hurting Addie and I really don’t like that. I told him that he needs to stop pushing Ellis on you because contrary to what he may believe, you are not Ellis Grey’s little girl. Maybe you were at one point, but that was a long time ago and you do not see her as your mother.”

“Is he going to stop?” Meredith bit her lip.

“I really don’t know, but I told him that if he doesn't, not only will I quit and go work at a different hospital, I’ll take you and Addie with me.” Mark explained.

“I’ll go too.” Arizona spoke up.

“Well when he threatened to fire me, I mentioned that you would probably quit if Mer wasn’t working there anymore because why would you want to work for a man that is emotionally tormenting your girlfriend.” Mark chuckled.

“Why did he threaten to fire you?” Addison asked as she took a chocolate filled donut out of the box.

“I may have accused him of having a sexual relationship with Ellis and used language that Bizzy wouldn’t approve of.” Mark admitted as he tried to hold back his laughter.

“Of course you did.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “It’s really not a big deal, you didn’t have to go risk your job over something this stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” Bizzy countered. “Sweetie you have been so upset that you haven’t let go of Arizona and every time you fell asleep last night you woke up screaming after having nightmares.”

“Why does it bother me so much?” Meredith’s voice broke. “Ellis Grey is not my mother, you are. I don’t remember her and I don’t care about her, so why does the mention of her make it hard for me to breathe?”

“Because you went through a trauma.” Arizona said softly. “You may not consider your mother or remember her, but you do remember finding her body. It makes perfect sense that the mention of someone who’s dead body you found would upset you and bring you right back to that moment.”

“Will I always be this broken?” Meredith whispered.

“You’re not broken Meri, just traumatized.” Addison smiled sympathetically. “We knew that coming back to Seattle would be difficult, but I don’t think any of us knew just how difficult it would truly be. You’re doing remarkably well considering everything.”

“Yeah, I only put my hand on one bomb.” Meredith let out a quiet giggle. “I still want to work at Seattle Grace, but if Richard doesn’t stop I’m probably going to get myself fired.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Bizzy squeezed Meredith’s hand. “All I care about is that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.” Meredith nodded. “Thank you for staying.”

“Always.” Bizzy smiled.

“Do you guys want to go downstairs and watch a movie?” Meredith suggested. “I think getting out of bed for a while would be good for me, but Zona needs to carry me.” She looked at Arizona with a cheeky smile.

“I can absolutely do that.” Arizona laughed and kissed Meredith softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too, snickerdoodle.” Meredith beamed and then shrieked when Arizona lifted her off of the bed and carried her down the stairs. The five of them piled on the couch and found a movie to watch while the blonde snuggled into her girlfriend, the dark cloud that had been hovering over her since she saw the letter from Ellis finally starting to dissipate.

Chapter Text

Meredith walked into the hospital the next day with her head held high. She kissed Arizona goodbye before disappearing into the locker room where everyone was staring at her. “Is there something on my face?”

“You’re Ellis Grey’s daughter?” Cristina looked at Meredith closely. The blonde fidgeted on her feet as she felt herself feeling suffocated by the amount of attention on her. “Ellis Grey is your birth mother?”

“Yeah.” Meredith nodded as she started changing into her scrubs.

“You really are surgical royalty.” Izzie snorted. “You had no issue telling us who your sister and brother and law were and you never let anyone forget who your girlfriend is. Why didn’t you say anything about Ellis Grey being the woman to give birth to you?”

“Because as I’m sure you can imagine Isobel the woman you call mommy committing suicide can be a tad traumatic.” Meredith sighed as she adjusted her scrub top. “Yes, Ellis Grey gave both to me, but she’s not my mother. I prefer not talking about it.”

“Clearly Sloan didn’t get that memo since he was screaming about you and Ellis in the chief’s office yesterday.” Izzie scoffed. “That’s how we all found out.”

“It doesn’t matter. Ellis Grey is not my mother!” Meredith insisted as she stormed out of the locker room and started walking in the direction of the chief’s office.

“Montgomery!” Bailey called after Meredith as the intern walked right past her without stopping. “Where are you going?”

“To slap Dr. Webber upside his stupid head!” Meredith yelled over her shoulder. “When I’m done, who’s service am I on?”

“Altman’s! Try not to put your hand on a bomb this time!” Bailey called back.

“I won’t!” Meredith promised as she stepped on the elevator. When she got to the chief’s office she walked in and sat down in front of his desk. “When you look at me, do you just see Ellis? Is that why you insist on reminding me that despite raising me and adopting me as her own, Bizzy Forbes is not my biological mother?”

“Well good morning to you too, Dr. Montgomery.” Richard let out a small chuckle as he took a sip of his coffee. “Two days in a row where I start my day off getting yelled at in my own office by a member of your family.”

“Maybe if you thought before you acted you wouldn’t get yelled at so much.” Meredith suggested in a sarcastic tone with a small shrug. “You shouldn’t have given me that letter without telling me what was in it. That was messed up.”

“She loved you Meredith and even if you’re happy with the way your family turned out, you should still know that Ellis loved you.” Richard sighed.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe knowing that Ellis loved me is painful for me?” Meredith raised an eyebrow. “Richard, you were in the ambulance bay when they opened the ambulance doors and I was sitting next to Ellis’ dead body. It doesn’t matter how much she loved me, finding her dead body has haunted me everyday since. Bizzy Forbes is my mother. She raised me from the time I was five years old and never once made me feel like the kid she got stuck with because her husband cheated and my mom offed herself. She truly loves me and even legally adopted me. Ellis may have been my mother for the first five years of my life, but Bizzy has been my mother for the past nineteen years and she is who I view as my mother. I need you to start respecting that or this isn’t going to work out.”

“Are you threatening to leave the program?” Richard asked Meredith for clarification and watched as the blonde let out a heavy sigh.

“I had to take yesterday off because I was so upset by that letter. Also because of that letter, everyone knows that Ellis is my biological mother since Mark came and screamed at you yesterday. Working here and now having my boundaries respected is hurting me and when I’m hurt, Addison is hurt and my sister is pregnant. The last thing she needs is the extra stress of me being an emotional wreck. So yes, if you cannot respect that I do not consider Ellis my mother I will quit and go somewhere where I don’t have this cloud of childhood trauma following me around because I may not care if you hurt me, but I will not tolerate you hurting my sister.”

“You and Addison are really close.” Richard hummed. “I was there when you first met her and I was amazed. I had been trying to get you to talk for hours and you wouldn’t say a word, then Addison waltzes in and you couldn’t stop staring at her. Then she introduced herself to you and asked how old you are and you spoke to her without hesitation. I’m glad that you guys remained close.”

“Addie is my best friend.” Meredith smiled as she thought about her older sister. “In a lot of ways she’s my second mother. I was a really timid child, but she was always there for me when I needed her. I used to follow her everywhere and anytime she had friends over, they always let me hang out with them. When I was getting bullied at school, she taught me how to throw a punch so I could defend myself. She taught me how to ride a bike and always helped me study. It’s always been me and her, we’ve always been a team. Then she met Mark and he loves how close the two of us are. He’s never once felt threatened by our relationship and never complains if I really need my sister. What Ellis did hurt me, but they have always stuck by me and when you hurt me, it hurts them. I won’t do that to them. I can’t. Not after everything that they’ve done for me.”

“Did you have a happy childhood considering what happened when you were five?” Richard asked.

“I did.” Meredith nodded. “My parents and siblings are all really protective of me and I was spoiled rotten.” She giggled. “I love my family and even though I hate how I met them, I couldn’t imagine my life without them.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve been pushing Ellis on you since you started working here.” Richard apologized sincerely. “To answer your question, no I don’t just see Ellis when I look at you. I do think you look a bit like her, but when I look at you I see the little girl that Ellis used to carry around this hospital to show off. When I look at you Meredith I remember how much Ellis loved you and it’s hard for me to remember how terrified you were when you pulled up in that ambulance. I want you to remember Ellis as a loving mother, not as a corpse next to you in an ambulance.”

“You do realize how selfish that is right?” Meredith scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at Richard. “You are stuffing Ellis down my throat and telling me how much she loved me to make you feel better about the fact that you worked with Ellis every day and never realized that she was suicidal. You blame yourself for her death and you think that if I know how much she loved me and forgive her for killing herself and leaving me to find her body that you’ll be able to forgive yourself for not paying close enough attention and my getting traumatized as a result. That is not fair. You do not get to put that on me! That is your burden to bear, not mine.”

“Yeah I guess that is pretty selfish.” Richard admitted with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry Meredith. I worked with Ellis every day and I considered her a good friend. It took a long time for me to wrap my head around how she could leave work with a smile on her face and then the next day she shows up in an ambulance after committing suicide. I saw how scared you were and I blamed myself. I thought that if I was a better friend that I could have prevented you from finding her body, but you’re right it’s not right for me to put that on you and use you to absolve myself of that guilt. I should have warned you about the letter, I am sorry.”

“Thank you.” Meredith nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek. “So respect my boundaries and we won’t have a problem, but if you can’t do that I won’t be able to work here. Addie doesn’t need the stress.”

“Understood.” Richard took another sip of his coffee and watched as Meredith stood up from her chair and walked out of his office. He sighed and took the letter from the top of his desk and put it in the drawer. He took a small bottle of whiskey from the drawer and poured some in his coffee before tucking the bottle back in its hiding spot.

Meredith walked up to the nurse’s station where Teddy was waiting and handed her a coffee. “Sorry that I was late, Dr. Altman, I was yelling at the chief.”

“And then you decided to make yourself even later by stopping to get me coffee to apologize for being late?” Teddy chuckled and raised an eyebrow while taking a sip of the coffee. “Delicious. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Meredith giggled. “So do we have any interesting patients this time?”

“That depends on what you consider interesting.” Teddy hummed with a smirk. “I can assure you that none of them have a bomb inside of them.”

“Well thank god for that.” Meredith snorted. “My mother flew here from Connecticut, hugged me, and then slapped me upside the head for putting my hand inside of a body cavity with a bomb inside of it. If I go anywhere near another bomb anytime soon my mother and sister will explode.”

“Don’t worry, Montgomery, no more bombs for you.” Teddy laughed and handed Meredith a chart. They walked to their patient’s room and everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at the intern who became very interested in the chart in her hands. “Why is everyone staring at you?”

“Because the chief of surgery is an idiot and Mark came in yesterday to yell at him and now everyone knows that my biological mother is Ellis Grey because they overheard our idiot boss and my idiot brother in law shouting at each other.” Meredith explained with a tight smile. “Hence why I was late.”

“Your lateness is forgiven.” Teddy nodded. “Although I forgave you the moment I took a sip of this coffee. It’s delicious!”

“Three pumps vanilla, one pump coconut, one pump almond. It tastes like an almond joy.” Meredith smiled. “Arizona got me addicted.”

“It’s still so weird that you’re dating one of my friends.” Teddy chuckled.

“And it’s still weird that you stare at one of my friends with heart eyes.” Meredith retorted with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Who? Yang?” Teddy laughed nervously. “I just think that she is a gifted and talented doctor.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all that is.” Meredith giggled. “That’s why you have a hickey on your neck.”

“I am an attending!” Teddy reminded Meredith as she covered her neck with her hand.

“You’re also sleeping with my friend as well as friends with my girlfriend, sister, and brother in law. You and I both know that I can talk to you like a normal person as long as no one is listening.” Meredith shook her head with an amused smile. “You’ve been to my house. My brother in law has grilled you a steak. I’m not just any old intern.”

“Okay you make a good point.” Teddy admitted with a laugh. “We also survived a bomb together so I guess that means I owe you some sort of loyalty.”

“You ratted me out to my brother in law for being a complete mess in that OR and now you say that we owe each other loyalty?” Meredith snorted.

“I know, it’s awful.” Teddy sighed. “I’m sorry about that, but I was worried about you. Like you said you’re not just any old intern. I’m friends with your girlfriend, sister, and brother in law, and I’m seeing one of your friends. I care about you Montgomery and after seeing you break down like that, I was concerned.”

“So you admit that you’re seeing Cristina!” Meredith smirked with a small giggle. After a second she looked at Teddy with a soft smile. “Thank you for caring about me, and you telling Mark what happened turned out to be a good thing because he got me to open up about what happened which I really needed to do.”

“I’m glad I could help.” Teddy smiled as she and Meredith walked into their patient’s room. A few hours later, after their patient’s successful surgery, Meredith went to the cafeteria and sat down with the other interns.

“Okay you guys need to stop staring at me!” Meredith snapped as Izzie, George, and Cristina all looked away from her. “Yes, Ellis Grey is my biological mother. Yes, she killed herself when I was five. Yes, I found her body. No, I do not consider her any more than an egg donor. Any other questions?”

“Nope.” Cristina shook her head and stole one of Meredith’s fries.

“So all the times I acted like a bitch saying that you had this perfect childhood, you stayed silent instead of shutting me up by saying you found your biological mother’s dead body.” Izzie sighed. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because I don’t feel the need to use my childhood trauma to fight my battles.” Meredith slapped Cristina’s hand away from her tray. “I did have a lot of opportunities that most people don’t have and I do have a very large trust fund. Yes, something traumatic happened to me, but I was still more fortunate than most.”

“You’re so humble.” George smiled. “Are you sure that you’re gay?”

“Yes.” Meredith nodded as she looked at George like he had two heads.

“How sure?” George asked.

“Dude.” Alex groaned. “This is creepy!”

“Alex, it's fine.” Meredith giggled and turned back to George. “I am very sure. I’ve been crushing on girls for as long as I can remember. I’m the gayest of gays. I’m lesbianic.”

“Damn.” George sighed.

“I may be a bitch, but at least I’m not creepy.” Izzie rolled her eyes.

“I am not creepy!” George argued while everyone else at the table rolled their eyes. Meredith let out a sigh of relief when she got paged.

“You are creepy, George.” Meredith stood up. “Gotta run, Cristina, you can finish my fries.”

“Thank you!” Cristina pulled Meredith’s tray over to her and smirked at George. “You really are creepy.”

“Whatever.” George rolled his eyes. Addison was walking down the hall when she suddenly got dizzy. She leaned on the nurse’s station to take a moment when Arizona walked up to her.

“Are you okay?” Arizona looked at Addison with concern as she noticed how pale the redhead was.

“I’m fine.” Addison nodded with a tight smile. “Just a little tired, I had a rough morning with morning sickness as I’m sure you heard.”

“Yeah, I felt bad.” Arizona sighed. “Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yes. I am fine.” Addison pushed off of the nurse’s station and began to walk away. After only a couple of steps, her vision got blurry as she fell to the ground. Arizona ran over to her and caught her head before it could hit the ground.

“Oh my god, Addison? Addison, can you hear me?” Arizona looked up from Addison’s face to the multiple people who were standing around and watching. “Stop staring and bring me a damn gurney!” Everyone jumped into action to get the redhead off of the ground and on a gurney to be examined.

Meredith was in surgery with Teddy when her pager repeatedly went off. When her pages went ignored, Arizona went to the OR to retrieve her girlfriend herself. “Dr. Altman, could I please borrow Dr. Montgomery?”

“Whatever it is, can’t it wait?” Meredith glanced from Teddy’s work on the patient to Arizona. “We should be done in the next half hour, I just don’t want to miss anything if I don’t have to.”

“Mer, it’s Addison.” Arizona explained softly. “She fainted.”

“What?” Meredith’s eyes widened as she turned to Teddy. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“I understand.” Teddy smiled at Meredith reassuringly as the intern backed away from the OR table and followed Arizona into the scrub room to scrub out.

“What happened?” Meredith demanded to know as she turned the sink off.

“She looked really pale so I asked her if she was okay. She claimed that she was just tired after a rough morning with morning sickness, but when she went to walk away she immediately collapsed.” Arizona explained as she and Meredith walked through the hospital towards the OB wing where Addison currently was. “Mark is with her, but she’s been asking for you since she woke up.”

“I’ve been telling her that she needs to slow down now that she’s pregnant.” Meredith groaned. “She never listens to me, but always expects me to take her side against Mark. Not this time. I will sick Bizzy on her if needed.” She walked into the room where Mark was doting on an annoyed Addison. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Addison insisted. “I just got a little dizzy, but now everyone is insisting that I take the rest of the day off.”

“You should.” Meredith hummed as she sat on the foot of her sister’s hospital bed. “You fainted Addie, you need to rest. I’ve been telling you to slow down for the past couple of weeks and this is why.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal.” Addison rolled her eyes. “I didn’t eat a big lunch because I was nauseous which caused me to faint. I just won’t skip lunch anymore.” The OB resident brought an ultrasound into the room and squirted the gel on the redhead’s stomach. “Jesus, I always forget how cold that gel is!”

“Stop complaining and just focus on your kid for a second.” Meredith pointed at the ultrasound. “You are the one tasked with taking care of them right now and when you carelessly skip meals and then faint, you are hurting them. Do you want to hurt them or would you rather take better care of yourself so I don’t have to kick your ass?”

“They’ve gotten so big in the past week.” Addison gasped as she looked at the ultrasound. “I’m thirteen weeks now?”

“You are.” The OB resident nodded. “Everything looks good, but if you don’t slow down and stop acting the way you did before you were pregnant, everything won’t keep looking good.” Addison nodded and focused on the ultrasound.

“I knew it.” Addison chuckled and squeezed Mark’s hand.

“What did you know?” Mark looked between Addison and the ultrasound.

“We’re having a girl.” Addison smiled softly. “Ella Meredith Sloan.”

“You are indeed having a girl.” The OB resident nodded with a smile. “Congratulations.”

“We’re having a girl.” Mark smiled and kissed Addison gently. “Please go home and rest.” The redhead glanced over at Meredith who nodded in agreement with her brother in law.

“Fine.” Addison relented with a sigh. “I’ll go home.”

“Thank you.” Meredith giggled and hugged Addison. “I’ll see you when I get home. I’m really happy that you’re okay.”

“I love you Meri.” Addison kissed Meredith’s forehead. “Thank you for coming to check on me, even if you didn’t take my side.”

“Always.” Meredith snorted. After Addison left to go home, the blonde was walking down the hall with her girlfriend and pushed her into a supply closet to kiss her softly. “Thank you for coming to get me when Addie needed me.”

“Of course.” Arizona smiled. “I know how important your sister is to you.”

“I still can’t believe that she’s actually having a girl.” Meredith laughed. “Ella Meredith Sloan.”

“I’m sure that she will be the cutest baby ever and you will be the most amazing aunt ever because you’re already the most amazing sister.” Arizona cupped Meredith’s face and kissed her softly. “I love you Meredith Montgomery.”

“I love you too, Arizona Robbins.” Meredith mirrored Arizona’s smile. “Everyone knows that Ellis is my biological mother, but Richard also apologized for being an idiot so I guess there’s some good mixed in with the bad.”

“Is anyone giving you a hard time?” Arizona’s voice had a concerned lift to it.

“No.” Meredith shook her head. “They know better.”

“Good.” Arizona kissed Meredith again. “Because I would hate to have to kick anyone’s ass for giving my girlfriend a hard time.”

“I don’t know, I think I would love to see that.” Meredith giggled as she hugged Arizona and rested her head on the older blonde’s shoulder. “Can we just stay here for a while? This is nice.”

“We can.” Arizona nodded with a gentle smile as she rubbed Meredith’s back. “At least until we get paged.”

“Okay.” Meredith tightened her arms around Arizona. “I really love you.”

“I really love you too.” Arizona hummed and kissed the crown of Meredith’s head. “More than you could even begin to imagine.” 

Chapter Text

Addison sat on the couch scrolling through her phone while she resisted the very strong urge to beat her mother to death with a pillow. Bizzy had been fussing over her since Mark drove her home a few hours prior and the redhead felt like she was about to lose the very last of her sanity. She locked her phone and threw it down next to her. “Bizzy can we please just sit in the quiet for like five to ten minutes? Please?” Bizzy chuckled as she took a bite of her rice cake. “What’s so funny?”

“I’ve been talking your ear off for the past three hours yet you’re just now asking me to shut up when normally after only ten minutes you threaten to duct tape my mouth shut.” Bizzy explained with a laugh. “I think your pregnancy hormones are somehow making you nicer instead of meaner.”

“I wish that my pregnancy hormones would let me work.” Addison groaned as she took a sip of her Gatorade. “I was fine, everyone is making me fainting into a much bigger deal than it actually is.”

“Addison, you are thirteen weeks pregnant and you passed out cold today. That is scary for people because it’s not supposed to happen. You were fine one minute and the next you were on the floor completely unresponsive. You may feel fine now and like you could have worked, but if you’re fainting then that is a sign that your body needs to rest. You do not need to save the world. Let someone else save the world today while you take care of yourself and your child.” Bizzy kissed Addison’s forehead. “You know, it is okay to focus on yourself sometimes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Addison started to pick at her fingernails as she brushed off her mother’s concern. She knew that Bizzy was right and that it wouldn’t kill her if she put herself first, but she wasn’t ready to admit that. “I’m fine.”

“You sound like your sister.” Bizzy sighed. “But if you don’t want to talk, I won’t make you.”

“Thank you.” Addison picked her phone back up and aimlessly played a couple of levels of solitaire before putting her phone back down and turning to look at Bizzy. “Do you really think that I don’t put myself first enough?”

“Honey, you have one of the biggest hearts that I have ever seen and since the day that you were born you have made it your mission to take care of everyone, but I very rarely see you take care of yourself.” Bizzy kept her voice calm and gentle as she took her oldest daughter’s hand in her own. “That is one of the reasons that I was so happy when you found Mark. You can be very serious, but he helps remind you that it’s okay to just let go sometimes. For the past twelve years I have watched that man take care of you so that you are able to keep yourself standing in order to take care of your sister. I can’t imagine that it’s an easy task, when you have your mind set to something it’s usually pretty difficult to change your mind, even if it’s the best thing for you. Mark loves you Addison, don’t fight against him so much.”

“I don’t try to, but he has this really bad habit of telling me no.” Addison whined. “He thinks that I push myself too far and that I’m going to end up getting hurt if I don’t stop. It’s so annoying.” She huffed and rolled her eyes while she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Sloan, I have been telling you to slow down before you hurt yourself for as long as I can remember.” Bizzy snorted and shook her head. “When you were five years old, you said that you were ready for the training wheels to come off of your bike. Your father and I had to listen to you rant for a week until finally we were so tired of listening to you that we took the training wheels off of your bike. We figured that you would fall down and realize that you still needed the training wheels and our lives would go back to normal, boy were we wrong.” She laughed and squeezed the redhead’s hand.

“Didn’t I yell at gravity for ten minutes the first time I fell?” Addison snorted as she thought back to when she decided that she was ready for the training wheels to come off of her bike. Her parents insisted that she wasn’t ready, but the redhead refused to take no for an answer.

“You did.” Bizzy nodded. “You rode your bike off the driveway and cut up your knee pretty badly, but you didn’t cry. You were too angry to cry. You laid in the grass for ten minutes screaming at gravity for dragging you down and then you stood up, picked your bike back up, and then got back on. No matter how many times you fell, you kept getting back up. It started getting dark, but you were determined to ride that bike. At this point you have multiple bloody gashes on your arms and legs and you were limping, but you got back on the bike and you rode that back up and down our little cul de sac with this pride filled giggle. You have never been one to slow down Addie, when you put your mind to something you do not stop until you reach your goal. It’s part of who you are and I love that about you, but this isn’t just about you anymore. You are carrying your daughter inside of you and you are the only one who can make sure that she is safe for the first nine months of her life. It’s time to slow down Addison, not just for you, but for your child. It’s okay to slow down.” The redhead broke down crying and fell into her mother’s open arms. “Shh it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

“The hospital knows about Ellis and I am so worried about Meri that I want to scream.” Addison sobbed onto Bizzy’s shoulder. “I know that she can take care of herself, but I have the biggest urge to take care of her and I am so scared that if people pester her about her connection to Ellis that she won’t be able to handle it and then I’m going to have to hide a lot of bodies!”

“You could try trusting that she’ll come to you if she needs you.” Bizzy suggested with a light chuckle. “You don’t have to be Superwoman, Addison. Mer is a big girl now and she has a very supportive girlfriend who loves her. You can take a step back, Meredith will be okay.”

“I think that’s what is the most scary.” Addison’s voice was a cracking whisper as she pulled out of Bizzy’s embrace and looked up at her. “The thought that my sister doesn’t need me anymore is absolutely terrifying.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Bizzy laughed and patted Addison on the back. “Meredith will always need you. She loves you more than anything else in this world. The two of you have been like two peas in a pod since she came to live with us, the two of you will never not need each other.”

“You better be right.” Addison readjusted her blanket over her lap. A little while later the front door opened and Meredith and Arizona walked in.

“We’re home!” Meredith singsonged with a giggle as she and Arizona walked hand in hand into the living room. “Mark got pulled into a surgery, but he said that he’ll bring home pizza for dinner.”

“No, we should eat something healthier than pizza.” Addison threw the blanket off of her lap and stood up to walk into the kitchen. Meredith watched her sister curiously before glancing down at Bizzy.

“She spiraling?” Meredith asked simply, knowing that her mother would know what she was talking about.

“Oh yeah.” Bizzy let out a heavy sigh. “Why don’t you go deal with that while I tell Arizona about that time you won your second grade spelling bee?”

“Just don’t mention what happened after I won.” Meredith giggled and kissed Arizona softly before walking into the kitchen where Addison was rifling through the cabinets. The blonde jumped up onto the counter and thought over in her head the ways to address the psychotic elephant in the room, of course though she settled on the way most true to who she was as a person: scaring the shit out of her older sister. “So why are you being so weird?” The redhead jumped as she turned around to face her little sister, who was sitting on the kitchen counter with a smug grin as she giggled quietly to herself. “You’re so easy to scare.”

“Aren’t you just a delight?” Addison sighed as she walked over to the counter Meredith was sitting on and jumped up to sit next to her. “Did Bizzy send you to talk to me?”

“I was going to anyway.” Meredith bumped shoulders with Addison. “So what happened today? You never faint.”

“I went to the cafeteria to get lunch, but there was a line and I was really nauseous so I decided to get something from the vending machine to hold me over, only before I had the chance to do so I got paged.” Addison explained. “By the time I finished what I was doing, I didn’t feel hungry anymore so I didn’t eat.” She shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t believe you.” Meredith sighed. “You need to be more careful. Please.” She looked at Addison with tear filled eyes. “When Zona told me that you fainted, I was really scared. I thought that I was going to lose my best friend and it was like I couldn’t breathe. I need you Addie, I need my big sister, so I need you to slow down and take better care of yourself. If not for yourself or for your daughter, then for me.”

“Oh Shadow.” Addison wrapped her arms around her baby sister and rubbed her back. “I’m so sorry, I never meant to scare you. I guess I’m just not ready for things to change.” She let out a dry laugh. “Don’t get me wrong, I am ecstatic that I am pregnant. This is all that I’ve wanted for years, and it’s finally happening and I am so happy, but I’m also really scared. I like things the way they are and a baby is a huge change.”

“But it’s a good change.” Meredith interjected softly with a warm smile. “You are going to be a mother, Addie. Ella is so lucky that she gets to have you as her mother because there is no one that is more caring and loving than you, but you suck at taking care of yourself.”

“So do you.” Addison grumbled.

“So does Archer, it must be hereditary.” Meredith giggled. “We’re great with other people, but we all suck at taking care of ourselves.”

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Addison chuckled. “You still need me, right?”

“I still need you.” Meredith nodded. “So are we having pizza for dinner or are you going to force us into eating something healthy so you feel like you have control over your life?”

“We can have pizza.” Addison relented as she got off of the counter. Meredith followed behind her and the two went back to the living room where Arizona and Bizzy were talking on the couch. They both looked up when the sisters walked back into the room and Meredith could tell based on the look on her girlfriend’s face that her mother did indeed talk about what happened after she won the spelling bee.

“Bizzy!” Meredith whined as she plopped down on Arizona’s lap. “I told you not to tell her about that!”

“I’m sorry Mer, but it was priceless.” Bizzy laughed. “You were such a small child, I still don’t understand where you fit twelve hotdogs.”

“I don’t know, but she certainly couldn’t fit thirteen hotdogs there.” Addison snorted as she sat down in the middle of the couch and looked at Arizona. “She finished the thirteen hotdog and went to pick up number fourteen when all of a sudden her face changed and she threw up everywhere! The best part was when she finished puking she looked at her now very dirty shirt, looked up at us with a huge smile and then spelled disgusting as if she was still in the spelling bee.”

“Oh my god.” Meredith groaned and hid her face in the crook of Arizona’s neck. “If you love me, you’ll stop listening.”

“I do love you, but I don’t think I could stop listening even if I tried.” Arizona laughed and kissed the crown of Meredith’s head. “This is too funny!”

“She was a very funny child.” Bizzy chuckled. “She definitely kept us on our toes. Every time we turned around she was doing something new. Our little comedian.”

“Our brother Archer was dating this awful girl once when Mer was fourteen years old and Mer chased her out of the house at 8am because she ate the last bagel.” Addison burst out laughing. “Mark and I were for the weekend and we woke up to Meredith screaming like a banshee. By the time we got downstairs, the girl was gone and Mer asked Mark to drive her to the store for more bagels.”

“Did that really happen?” Arizona laughed in disbelief as she looked at Meredith who had a mischievous smirk on her face.

“I like bagels.” Meredith shrugged as she giggled. “Plus that girl was absolutely horrible. I did him a favor by running her off.”

“You’re not wrong.” Bizzy admitted with an amused nod. “She was awful.”

“Well when you move in, I’ll make sure that we always have plenty of bagels.” Arizona laughed and kissed Meredith’s nose but she felt her girlfriend tense up on top of her. Addison sat up and looked at the two.

“You’re moving out?” Addison’s voice broke as she looked at Meredith with a betrayed expression. “When?”

“Addie, nothing has been decided.” Meredith sighed. “It’s just something that we started talking about earlier today. You and Mark are going to have a baby and you don’t need me in the way.”

“You’re not in the way! This is your home!” Addison stood up and stormed up the stairs as tears poured down her cheeks. As she sat on her bed, the redhead couldn’t figure out why she was so upset about the idea of Meredith moving out. She didn’t want anything to change, but her sister was an adult and if she wanted to live with her girlfriend then Addison should support that. What she shouldn’t be doing is sitting on her bed crying like a baby, but she couldn’t seem to get the tears to stop. She looked up when her bedroom door opened and was shocked when she saw Arizona standing there. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Arizona waved awkwardly. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” Addison nodded and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Come on in.” Arizona walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind her as she crossed the room to sit next to the redhead on the bed. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I’m not trying to take your sister away from you.” Arizona started in a soft and gentle voice so as to not upset Addison further. “We were just talking about how we spend just about every night together anyway and that it would make sense if we moved in together. She figured that with you having a baby on the way, it would make more sense for her to move into my apartment. We’ve been together for two months and we think it’s time that we make the next step. It has nothing to do with you.”

“I know.” Addison whispered. “You know, we often talk about how Meri needs me and about how much I have done for her since she came to live with us, but we don’t talk nearly enough about how much I need her and how much she has done for me.”

“What do you mean?” Arizona hummed as she looked over Addison. This was a very different version of the redhead than the blonde was used to. Typically Addison was very put together and always the one with a good head on her shoulders, but right now she just looked exhausted.

“I always wanted a sister.” Addison smiled as she thought about Meredith. “Our parents probably have a dozen home movies of me saying that I wanted a sister, but they always told me that I was their last baby. Just when I finally gave up on my dream of having a sister, Richard Webber called about Mer. Suddenly, I had the sister I always wanted and the two of us were close from the very first moment that we met. From that day forward, we’ve been joined at the hip. I have always been the one that Mer goes to when she has a problem and she has always been who I have gone to when I needed a reminder that the world isn’t a complete failure. Meredith has been restoring my hope in humanity since the day that I met her. Even after waking up and finding her mother’s dead body, she still let me in and tried to trust me. I know that she’s all grown up now and I really like you, Arizona, I do, but everything is changing and I’m not ready to stop living with my baby sister. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but I don’t want her to move out yet.”

“It’s not selfish.” Arizona promised. “It’s okay that you’re scared of change, but not all change is bad.”

“I know.” Addison whispered. “And I also know that I shouldn’t use my baby sister as a security blanket, but she’s been by my side for nineteen years. I’m not ready to let her go.”

“You’re not letting me go, idiot.” Meredith snorted as she walked into Addison’s bedroom. “Although I am glad to see that you haven’t murdered my girlfriend.”

“You would cry and I don’t like it when you cry, therefore Arizona is safe.” Addison laughed. “If you want to move in with Zona, I’ll respect that. You’ll still be required to come over at least three times a week, but I’ll respect that you are a grown woman who might not want to live with her older sister and brother in law anymore.”

“I do want to live with Arizona, but you know there is another solution to this that doesn’t include you crying.” Meredith smirked as she looked in between her sister and her girlfriend. “Zona could move in here.”

“I do enjoy coming over here and now I wouldn’t have to leave.” Arizona laughed as she wrapped her arms around Meredith from behind and kissed the younger blonde’s cheek. “What do you think, Addison?”

“I think I’m going to need earplugs for when you defile my baby sister.” Addison laughed. “But I would love it if you moved in here with us and when the baby comes I will completely understand if you guys choose to move out.”

“Or we can just stay here forever and be your live-in nannies.” Meredith suggested with a giggle. “You are pregnant and things are going to change, but my living here isn’t something that has to change Addison, not anytime soon anyway.”

“Thank you guys.” Addison beamed. “It really means a lot to me that you guys are staying here.”

“I’m really just here for Mark’s omelets, let’s be for real.” Arizona joked around with a laugh.

“That’s why we’re here too.” Addison snorted.

“It is.” Meredith hummed. They heard the front door open and went back downstairs where Mark was holding two pizzas. “Hey buttmunch, guess what!”

“What’s up peanut?” Mark chuckled as he put the pizzas down on the kitchen counter and walked over to where Addison was standing and kissed her. “Are you feeling better?” The redhead practically felt herself melt as she took in how much her husband cared about her and their daughter. The man looked at her with so much love and so much softness that Addison sometimes questioned if she truly deserved it.

“I feel great.” Addison promised with a smile. “Just wait until you hear Mer’s news, I think it’s going to make your day.” The two turned their heads towards Meredith who was bouncing on her feet like an excited toddler. “Meri?”

“Arizona’s moving in!” Meredith announced excitedly. “I think it’s because she loves me, but it is very possible that she is just a big fan of your omelets!”

“Two things can be true at the same time.” Arizona laughed and cupped Meredith’s face and kissed her deeply. “I love you Tinker Bell.”

“I love you too, Snickerdoodle.” Meredith giggled happily as she pulled Arizona into another kiss. “You’re moving in! We’re going to live together! Like a real relationship!”

“That’s because we are in a real relationship, honey.” Arizona smiled at Meredith softly. “This is real. I promise.”

“I know it is.” Meredith kissed Arizona one final time before walking into the kitchen and making two plates. She sat on the floor in front of the couch and held a slice of pizza to the older blonde’s lips. Addison, Mark, and Bizzy all smiled as they watched the two on the floor feeding each other small bites of pizza.

“Our little girl is all grown up.” Bizzy smiled at Addison and kissed her forehead. “We did good.”

“We really did.” Addison shared a smile with her mother before looking over at Mark. “Our practice child is all grown up now.”

“And she only put her hand on one bomb.” Mark pretended to wipe a tear from his eye while Addison snorted and rolled her eyes before pulling her husband into a loving kiss. “We really did a good job with her, didn’t we?”

“I can hear you.” Meredith looked up to glare at Addison, Mark, and Bizzy. “But to be fair, you guys did do a good job with me. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Meri.” Addison chuckled warmly. “You can get back to your date now.” She jokingly waved her hand and Meredith huffed as she turned back to Arizona.

“My family is so annoying.” Meredith huffed. “Are you sure that you want to live here?”

“I am positive.” Arizona kissed Meredith deeply. “I love your family and I love you. If it meant I could wake up next to you in the morning, I would sleep in a cardboard box on the side of the road.”

“Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery, you are not moving into a cardboard box!” Bizzy glared at Meredith who had a mischievous glint in her eye. Arizona looked at her girlfriend curiously, but the small blonde just giggled and shrugged.

“When I was a kid, I once said that my dream job was a hobo because I wanted to live in a box and eat hotdogs all day.” Meredith explained with a sparkle in her eyes that made Arizona feel like her heart was melting in her chest. Every time she learned something new about her girlfriend, the older blonde found herself falling further into love with the childlike intern. She cupped Meredith’s cheeks and captured her lips in a soft and slow kiss full of love and affection. “What was that for?” The blonde’s cheeks were tinged pink and she was so lost in Arizona’s eyes that she momentarily forgot that her mother, sister, and brother in law were sitting above them on the couch watching them like they were the newest romance comedy out in theaters.

“I just felt like kissing you.” Arizona shrugged nonchalantly with a small smile. She dipped a garlic knot in marinara sauce and held it up to Meredith’s lips. “Garlic knot?” The younger blonde giggled and nodded before taking a bite of the garlic knot.

“Delicious. Thank you.” Meredith giggled as she pecked Arizona on the lips and then took a sip of her soda.

“My god, could they be any cuter?” Addison sniffled as she took a bite of her pizza. “This is better than anything Hallmark has put out in years!” She looked towards Mark with narrowed and accusatory eyes. “Why aren’t you this sweet and romantic with me?”

“We’ve been married for eight years, I’m fresh out of romance. Now you have to love me for who I am until we die.” Mark smirked and took a bite of pizza. “They’ve only been dating for two months, a year from now instead of feeding Mer garlic knots, Arizona will be telling her how unhealthy it is to put salt on her pizza and Mer will threaten to shave her eyebrows off in her sleep.”

“That does sound like me.” Meredith nodded and stuck her tongue out playfully.

“Addison is my mature child, Archer is my idiot child, and Mer is definitely my wild child.” Bizzy chuckled warmly as she shook her head with a fond smile. “She has always marched to the beat of a different drummer and never cared who was watching. Addison was helping us raise her while also getting straight A’s in school and maintaining a thriving social life. Meanwhile Archer was going out with a new girl every weekend and constantly calling for money.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know where we went wrong with that one, but we did good with our girls. Of course we never could have raised Meredith without Addie and I guess without Mark either. Archer was also helpful at times, although she’s twenty four years old now and I still wouldn’t trust Archer to supervise her alone. I feel like the two of them would get into a lot of trouble very fast and that it would be very expensive.”

“Oh it totally would be.” Meredith giggled and looked at Arizona. “Who would put the idiot child with the wild child anyway? That is just asking for trouble. You’ll have to meet Archer sometime, Addie doesn’t like him but I think he’s cool.”

“I love Archer, I just think that he’s a smug bastard.” Addison muttered as she rolled her eyes.

“He is.” Bizzy laughed. “But we still love him.”

“Yeah.” Addison sighed. “I guess. Mer is still my favorite sibling though.”

“You’re my favorite too, Addie.” Meredith smiled at her older sister. The blonde stood up and pulled Arizona to her feet as well. “We’ll be upstairs in our room. Our room! It’s ours! Because she’s moving in!”

“You are adorable, Tinker Bell.” Arizona loosely wrapped her arms around Meredith’s neck and captured her lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Meredith stared into Arizona’s eyes as she cupped her cheek. The pair had a silent conversation as they just gazed at each other for a long moment before continuing up the stairs. They fell onto the bed together and kissed gently before just laying there wrapped in each other’s arms. Their relationship had come a long way in a relatively short time span but it felt right and they were both making the decision to listen to their hearts and make the next step together by moving in with one another. To some it may seem too fast, but to them it felt right and that was what mattered.

Chapter Text

“Okay, that was the last box.” Meredith dropped a heavy box in front of the couch and flopped onto the couch next to Addison who slapped her little sister's hand away when she tried to steal one of her watermelon cubes. “Unless of course you’re hiding another box in your car, in which case you can move it yourself because my arms are noodles.”

“I’m not hiding any extra boxes.” Arizona laughed as she slipped next to Meredith on the couch. “Do you really think I would subject myself to Addison’s organization lecture twice?”

“It’s called strategic optimization of shared space and you’re welcome.” Addison rolled her eyes as she popped a cube of watermelon into her mouth. “And do not let her fool you Arizona, Meri is just as bad as me. I got up at 3am and found her reorganizing the spice cabinet by emotional vibe.” Mark walked into the room and kissed Addison’s forehead, but just like Meredith, his hand was slapped away when he tried taking a piece of his wife’s watermelon. “Get your own watermelon, this is mine.”

“Wait, what do you mean she was organizing the spice cabinet by emotional vibe?” Arizona asked with a little snicker.

“You know, like cinnamon is warm and trustworthy. Basil is chaotic good. Oregano on the other hand? Sketchy. Probably has some unresolved trauma.” Meredith explained with a shrug while the other three looked at her like she had lost her mind. “What?”

“I love you and I’m terrified.” Arizona captured Meredith’s lips in a tender kiss. They pulled away after a long moment and just smiled at each other as if they were the only ones in the room.

“FYI, I happen to like oregano.” Mark said suddenly, causing Arizona and Meredith to jump, momentarily forgetting that they weren’t alone.

“Of course you do.” Meredith rolled her eyes and threw a throw pillow at Mark, who dramatically pretended to fall off of the arm of the couch.

“I’m happy you’re here Zona, finally I won’t be the only adult in the house.” Addison snorted and held her bowl of watermelon out towards Arizona. “Watermelon?”

“That’s not fair! Why does she get watermelon?!” Meredith pouted and crossed her arms. “I thought I was your favorite.”

“She gets watermelon because she’s the only one who didn’t try to steal any.” Addison explained. “The two of you should take notes, Arizona is already my favorite person in the house and she hasn’t even unpacked yet.” Mark and Meredith both rolled their eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to run while you still have the chance?” Meredith giggled. “Living with Addie and Mark is not the picnic that I make it appear to be.”

“I’m sure.” Arizona smiled softly as she intertwined her fingers with Meredith’s. “You’re here and besides, I’ve always wanted to live in a sitcom.” Meredith smiled and nuzzled her nose against her girlfriend’s.

“You two are nauseatingly adorable.” Addison chuckled. “But have you guys actually talked about logistics? Because Meri does have a tendency to get a little…. What’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Insane.” Mark supplied.

“Yes thank you honey.” Addison smiled at her husband before turning back to Meredith and Arizona. “Meri does have a tendency of getting a little insane when there’s a lot of clutter in her personal space. It’s a family trait, you should have seen me when Mark and I moved in together.”

“This is from Addie throwing a Jimmy Choo at my forehead because the shoe rack was too cluttered.” Mark pointed at a tiny scar on his forehead.

“We talked about it, and I offered to take the guest room until we figured everything out, but Mer glares at me every time I bring it up.” Arizona pointed at a glaring Meredith. “Exhibit A.”

“I don’t need space to figure things out. Sure, I don’t like clutter and maybe I have a small touch of OCD but I love you and I am all in.” Meredith cupped Arizona’s face and kissed her softly. “I promise. Just no wet towels on the bed or I will hide your roller skates.”

“Got it.” Arizona laughed and kissed Meredith again. “No towel war crimes.”

“You guys act like Zona isn’t already here five nights a week.” Mark rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen and came back with a slice of cold leftover pizza. “She’s practically been living here since you brought her home for the Montgomery sister interrogation almost three months ago.”

“Yeah, but she still had her own apartment to run to if she needed a break from the chaos that is this house. Now there’s nowhere to run. She’s stuck here with Addie’s hormones, my dark and twisties, and your annoying jokes.” Meredith pointed out. “This is big and it’s official and…” Her breathing started to pick up as she looked around at all the boxes littering the living room. “And I need a minute.” She stood up abruptly and ran up the stairs. Arizona started to stand up to go after her but Addison put a hand on her shoulder and offered her a soft smile.

“I got it.” Addison handed her bowl of watermelon to Arizona and stood up. “Watch my watermelon, I’ll be back.” She walked up the stairs and found Meredith pacing around her bedroom muttering to herself. “Meri?”

“Go away.” Meredith groaned as she stopped pacing and flopped face down on the bed with a dramatic sigh. Addison walked into the room and quietly shut the door behind her.

“Absolutely not.” She walked over to the bed and sat down. “One second you were all sickeningly sweet and happy, then the next you were panicking and running out of the room. What happened?” Meredith lifted her head up and Addison felt her heart clench when she saw the tears gathering in her little sister’s eyes. “Meri, talk to me. Please.”

“What if she can’t handle my dark and twisties on a full time basis?” Meredith whispered. “She's all sunshine and rainbows and smiles and I’m… I’m not. Zona has only dealt with my dark and twisties in doses, what if being with me all the time and seeing just how broken I am makes her not love me anymore?”

“Meri.” Addison sighed. “Arizona has seen you get pretty dark and twisty in the past few months. Do I really need to remind you that the first time you guys exchanged ‘I love you’s’ was after you put your hand inside a body cavity that contained a bomb?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Meredith yelled as she sat up, tears now cascading down her cheeks. “I’m not someone who wakes up in the morning smiling and makes French toast and that’s who she is and more importantly what she deserves! I’m messy and I’m complicated and I spiral. The dark and twisties don’t go away just because I’m happy and when Zona realizes that, she’s going to leave me!”

“No I won’t.” Arizona’s soft voice came from the doorway. Slowly, she walked towards the bed and sat down. “I know you’ve been through a lot in your life and I know that trauma doesn’t just go away because you’re happy. I don’t expect you to be sunshine and rainbows, Tinkerbell. In fact, I don’t want sunshine and rainbows. I love you for who you are. All parts of you. Even the parts that aren’t always pretty. I may be sunshine, but baby, you’re moonlight. And moonlight is constant, even when you can’t see it. I love you and I want to live with you because you’re you.”

“I’m not easy to live with.” Meredith whispered.

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t move in looking for easy, I moved in for you. The love of my life.” Arizona cupped Meredith’s cheeks and brushed her tears away with her thumbs. “I love you Meredith Olivia Forbes Montgomery. All of you. The good, the bad, the hard, the easy, the dark, and the twisty. I’m in this. Are you?”

“Yes.” Meredith cracked a tiny smile. “I love you too. Even if you’re the sappiest person that I’ve ever met.” She let out a watery giggle and smiled when Arizona let go of her face and leaned in to kiss her. Neither of them noticed a sniffling Addison quietly slip out of the room to go back downstairs. Mark looked up when he heard his wife crying and pulled her into his arms.

“Hey, talk to me.” Mark rubbed Addison’s back as he guided her towards the couch. “Why the tears?”

“They’re so cute, Mark!” Addison sobbed as Mark lowered them onto the couch. “She let her in! Meri let Zona in! She told her how she was feeling and Zona compared her to the moonlight and Meri didn’t even make a sarcastic remark! Zona told her that she loves all of her! The good, the bad, the hard, the easy, the dark, and the twisty! Then Meri smiled and they kissed! They’re adorable and I’m a mess!” She pulled away and looked up at her husband, her face red and splotchy, tears rolling down her cheeks. “It was so pure!”

“You know, this is the third time today that you’ve cried over Mer’s emotional growth.” Mark chuckled and pulled Addison to lay against him, pressing a kiss to her hair.

“I am sixteen weeks pregnant! I am allowed to cry about my baby sister finally being loved the way she deserves!” Addison pouted and crossed her arms.

“What’s the standard prescription for feelings like this?” Mark tilted Addison’s chin up and kissed the pout off her lips. “Ice cream?”

“Mint chip. If they’re out, then cookies and cream.” Addison stated seriously. “If they don’t have either, then just burn the store to the ground.”

“What do I get if I come back with both?” Mark smirked. “A medal.”

“You get to keep sleeping in the bed.” Addison smirked back, her tears finally drying. She pulled Mark in and kissed him again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Mark smiled and stood up and walked towards the door, grabbing his keys off the hook. “I’ll be back soon.” Addison sighed and laid back on the couch. Shortly afterward, Meredith and Arizona walked back downstairs, laughing softly. Meredith kissed Arizona and then went and knelt next to the couch where Addison was sniffling again.

“Addie, why are you crying? Hormones?” Meredith smiled softly at Addison, who sat up and wiped her face on her sweater sleeve.

“I’m fine.” Addison sniffled. “I’m just happy and hormonal and maybe a little too emotionally invested in your personal growth.”

“I take it you sent Buttmunch to get you some ice cream?” Meredith giggled softly.

“Yeah.” Addison chuckled. “I cleaned us out when I got up in the middle of the night to find you reorganizing the spice cabinet.”

“Well, do you want to hang out with us until he gets back?” Meredith offered. “Arizona brought a bunch of books which means that the book shelf needs to be reorganized and we could use your help.”

“I would love to.” Addison smiled and nodded.

“Good, because from what I hear we could use all the help we can get.” Arizona laughed. “Is it true that Mer organizes books by gut feeling?”

“It is.” Addison chuckled as she stood up. “She says it works for her.”

“Because it does!” Meredith interjected. While Arizona opened up her box of books, the sisters cleared off the bookshelf and began sorting through their collection of books. Half an hour later the front door opened and Mark walked in with a quart of ice cream in each hand.

“Your hero has returned!” Mark announced with a smug smile. “I got both flavors and I didn’t even have to fight a child for the last mint chip!”

“God, I love you so much.” Tears sprung to Addison’s eyes again and Arizona handed her a tissue.

“I’ll go get you a bowl of both.” Mark knelt down in front of Addison and kissed her softly before standing up and walking into the kitchen.

“Addie, are you willing to share?” Meredith practically bounced in front of her older sister who couldn’t help but laugh softly.

“Of course Meri.” Addison nodded. Arizona kissed Meredith and then stood up.

“I’ll go get you some cookies and cream.” Arizona smiled and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl out of the cabinet.

“You know it’s a big deal, right? Meredith asking you to move in.” Mark said after a brief moment of silence.

“I know.” Arizona nodded. “She’s let her guard down a lot with me ever since the bomb. I know that this is a huge step for her and I promise that I don’t take that lightly.”

“I’ve never seen her let her guard down with someone the way she does with you.” Mark said quietly as he scooped some ice cream into a bowl. He turned his head to face Arizona. “Have you ever wondered why Addison is so protective of her?”

“I know that Mer has gone through a lot and that the first person she trusted after Ellis’ death was Addison. They’ve both told me little snippets of how Meredith struggled when she was younger. It doesn’t surprise me that Addie is overprotective, and it doesn’t surprise me that no matter what happens Mer will always need her sister.” Arizona responded, but something in Mark’s expression made her feel uneasy. “Mark?”

“You’ve seen glimpses, Arizona, but you don’t know the full picture. How dark she can go. How dark she has gone.” Mark turned to lean against the counter. “When she came to live with us in New York she was a sixteen year old freshman in college. She didn’t have friends, she only had us and we did what we could to help her, but she was a mess. It was the first time that she hadn’t been in therapy in over ten years, she said that she didn’t need therapy anymore. That she was fine, but she wasn’t. After two months, Mer started to spiral. She wasn’t going to classes, she wasn’t eating, Addison used to hold her like a baby and beg her to eat a piece of toast.” Mark swallowed roughly, tears gathering in his eyes. “Then one day when we were at the hospital, Mer vanished. She was gone for three days. Addison was a mess, and honestly so was I.” He paused to take another breath and unknown to either of them, Meredith was now standing in the hall listening with her fists clenched. “We drove around searching for her, we called the police, we even checked the morgue. She was gone for three days. Then we found her in Brooklyn. In some fleabag motel drunk off her ass with a baggie of pills she bought off the street. Three self inflicted cuts on her arm.”

“What?” Arizona whispered, grabbing onto the counter to help hold her up.

“Addison wanted to admit her.” Mark continued. “She begged her not to, she was so broken, clinging to Addie like a lifeline. Addie refused to abandon her so in the end, she didn’t admit her. Instead she slept on the floor next to Meredith’s bed for weeks. We took the looks off the doors. It was—“ Meredith walked into the kitchen breathing heavily.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?!” Meredith glared at Mark coldly, all the warmth gone from her eyes. Her body was stiff and rigid.

“Meredith—“ Arizona tried to interrupt, but Meredith ignored her as she took a step closer to Mark and slapped him across the face.

“How dare you?!” Meredith screamed as tears rolled down her cheeks. “You had no right to tell her any of that! That is not your story Mark! That is my story! My past! You do not get to take the worst period of my fucking life and turn it into a fucking warning label! Like I’m still that person! I am not that person anymore!” Addison walked into the kitchen and looked between the three of them.

“What’s going on?” Addison’s voice shook as she noticed the pure rage on her sister’s face.

“Ask your fucking husband.” Meredith spat.

“Addie, I was just trying to make sure that Arizona understood how important—“ Mark started, but his voice died out when he saw Addison stiffen.

“What did you do?” Addison whispered, her lips pressed together in a thin line. Mark stayed silent, guilt coloring his features so Addison turned to Arizona. “What did he say?”

“He… he was telling me about when Mer first went to live with you guys in New York.” Arizona filled in and then turned to Meredith who was still staring at Mark like he was the enemy. The color drained from Addison’s face and she shoved Mark into the counter.

“You bastard!” Addison screamed, tears pouring down her cheeks, but this time she wasn’t crying because of hormones. “You had no right to say anything about that! That wasn’t just Meredith’s trauma! That was my trauma too! I understand that you were there too and that you were also affected but that doesn’t make it okay for you to offer up the worst period of my sister’s life, of my life, without talking to either one of us!”

“Addie…” Mark reached out for her, but Addison pulled away.

“No! Do not touch me!” Addison screamed. “I used to sleep with my hand on her chest to make sure that she was still breathing! For three days I felt like someone ripped my heart out of my body, Mark. Do you seriously not understand that?! Do you not remember what that time was like for me?!” She looked over at Meredith and felt something crack inside her chest when she saw how broken her little sister looked. She turned back to Mark. “Get out.”

“Addison, you don’t mean that.” Mark looked at his wife with pleading eyes, but all that met his gaze was cold fury.

“No, I do.” Addison countered. “Get the fuck out.” Mark looked at Meredith, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. He sighed and walked out of the kitchen and grabbed his keys before leaving the house. Addison crumbled against the counter, painful sobs escaping her as her hands shook violently, her breathing sped up as everything that happened when Meredith went into a bad depression at sixteen came rushing back.

“Addie?” Meredith took a step closer to her sister and then turned to look at Arizona. “I- I need you to go upstairs. You didn’t do anything wrong and I’m not mad at you, but I need you to go.”

“Are you sure?” Arizona reached out and cupped Meredith’s face.

“Snickerdoodle, please.” Meredith stressed. Arizona nodded and turned to leave the room. Meredith gently laid a hand on Addison’s back. “Addie, please look at me.” Addison shook her head violently, a sob ripping out of her. “Addie, please. I’m here, okay? I’m here and I am not going anywhere.” She stepped to the side and turned her sister’s face so they were making eye contact. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“You weren’t okay!” Addison screamed as she turned and slid down the counter to the floor, Meredith immediately sitting down next to her. “You weren’t okay and I didn’t know how to fix it! I didn’t know how to keep you alive!”

“Addie, I’m not sixteen anymore. I swear to you, I’m not there.” Meredith took Addison’s hand in hers. “I survived. You helped me survive.”

“I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking I’ll find you gone again! That you’ll just disappear and I won’t be able to find you this time!” Addison sobbed and fell into Meredith’s arms, her entire body shaking. “I- I can’t go through that again. I can’t do itMeri, I can’t.” She whimpered.

“You won’t.” Meredith promised, holding Addison tightly and rocking the two of them back and forth. “You won’t lose me, not ever again. I swear to you that I’m not going anywhere, okay? But I need you to calm down, think about the baby. Think about Ella.” Addison clamped a hand over her mouth, trying and failing to calm her gasps. She put her hand over her small baby bump as she continued to sob in her sister’s arms.

“How am I supposed to protect her?” Addison’s voice cracked painfully. “You were my baby Meri, from that very first day I met you. You were my baby. I helped raise you, I held you when you woke up screaming in the middle of the night having nightmares. Then you came to live with me and I couldn’t protect you from your own demons. I saw that you were spiraling and I just… I let you. Then you disappeared and for three days I thought you were dead.” She let out a heavy sigh as she finally started to calm down. “How the hell am I supposed to keep Ella safe when I failed so miserably with you?”

“Addison—no. No. That wasn’t your fault. That was never your fault. I was so far under, Addie. I didn’t even want to be pulled out. But you did it. You did. You’re the reason I’m alive.” Meredith kissed the top of Addison’s head. “I wouldn't be here without you.”

“I used to sit outside your locked bathroom door, listening, wondering if I was already too late. I was twenty-six, Meri. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I loved you so much I couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t enough.” Addison whispered.

“It was. It was everything. You gave me your whole damn life, Addie. You stopped being newlyweds, you stopped sleeping, you stopped living so I wouldn’t die.” Meredith murmured against Addison’s hair.

“And it still wasn’t enough to stop you from vanishing for three days.” Addison laughed bitterly.

“But you found me and you brought me home.” Meredith reminded her. “I didn’t want to disappear, Addie—I just didn’t know how to exist without falling apart. You gave me a place to fall apart that was safe. That’s why Ella is going to be safe. Because she has you. You protected me, even when I didn’t want to be protected. You held me together with duct tape and sleepless nights and a white-knuckled kind of love that saved me. You’re going to do the same for her. But you don’t have to do it alone anymore. You don’t, Addie.”

“I was so scared, Meri.” Addison whispered as she melted into her sister's embrace.

“I know. Me too. But we’re here. You and me. Both of us. And Ella’s going to grow up with so much love she won’t know what to do with it.” Meredith promised with a small smile. “Why don’t you go upstairs and lay down? I’ll make you some tea and we can keep talking. You can tell me more about what that time was like for you, I think you need to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Addison nodded and wiped her face. She kissed Meredith’s forehead and then left the kitchen. Ten minutes later Meredith walked into Addison and Mark’s bedroom with a mug of tea.

“Chamomile. I didn’t microwave it this time. Progress.” Meredith giggled softly and handed the mug of tea to Addison.

“Small miracles.” Addison chuckled softly and then sighed contently when she took a sip.

“I’m going to go check on Arizona, but I’ll be right back. I just, I don’t want her to think that we’re mad at her.” Meredith said quietly. “You’ll be okay for a minute or two?”

“I promise.” Addison nodded and took another sip of tea. Meredith walked next door to her and Arizona’s bedroom, finding her girlfriend sitting on the bed with red rimmed eyes.

“Hey.” Meredith greeted softly as she sat down on the bed and kissed the dried tears on Arizona’s cheek.

“Hey.” Arizona flashed a small smile. “Is she okay?”

“Getting there.” Meredith sighed. “I made her some tea. I need to stay with her a while longer, but I wanted to make sure that you were okay and I needed to tell you that I love you.”

“I love you too.” Arizona leaned in and kissed Meredith tenderly. “I’ll be here when you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere.” She whispered against her girlfriend’s lips. Meredith nodded and kissed her once more before slipping out and going back to Addison’s room and crawling in bed with her.

“There are things you don’t remember.” Addison said softly after she and Meredith laid in silence for a few minutes. “After we found you in that motel and you begged me not to admit you, but to bring you home and I agreed. Mark carried you out, and I was trying not to cry in the parking lot… you didn’t talk for two days. You just stared at the ceiling. Didn’t blink much. Wouldn’t eat unless I made sandwiches. But only if I cut them into stars. You told me that the stars made you feel safe. So I kept doing it. Even when the bread got stale and the shapes came out lopsided. I didn’t care that all you were eating were sandwiches because at least you were eating.”

“I don’t remember that.” Meredith whispered.

“I know.” Addison put the mug of tea on the nightstand and pulled Meredith closer to her. “You were somewhere else. But I was right there, holding on with everything I had. I found your journal once. You’d written a goodbye letter. It wasn’t addressed to me or Mark. It wasn’t addressed to anyone. Just… ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.’ And when I read that, I couldn’t breathe. I was an intern. Twenty-six. Just married. I took a leave of absence to take care of you. I bathed you. I Washed your hair. Sang to you hoping that I could drown out the noise in your head. Held you when you cried in your sleep. And every single night, I prayed to a god I wasn’t even sure I believed in that I’d get my sister back. And then one night, two months later… you asked for help. You came into my room, shaking, and said, ‘I think I need someone who knows what this is.’ And I didn’t stop until I found someone. A therapist who got it. Who saw you. You started fighting. For the first time, you fought back. And I was so damn proud of you.”

“I’m so sorry, Addie.” Meredith looked up at her older sister, realizing for the first time just how hard Addison fought to keep her alive.

“No. No, don’t you dare. You don’t owe me an apology for being sick. You were diagnosed with major depressive disorder. It wasn’t your fault.” Addison carded a hand through her baby sister’s hair. “It was a long road. There were bumps. Nights I thought you were slipping. But you went back to school. Got caught up. And I went back to work. Slowly, the color came back in your cheeks. The light came back in your eyes. You came back to me.” They both looked up when the door opened and Mark was standing there with blood shot eyes, looking smaller than either one of them had ever seen him before.

“I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told Arizona. Not like that. But it wasn’t because I didn’t respect your privacy, Mer. It was because I’ve seen you think you’re unlovable. And I couldn’t stand the thought of you ever thinking that again. You’ve survived too much. You’ve worked too hard. You’ve built this life—this real, beautiful life—and I needed her to see what it cost. So she’d never, ever take it for granted. Not when you’re finally in a good place.” Mark took a shaky breath and watched as Meredith sat up in the bed and wiped her eyes.

“Being back here… back in Seattle… it’s stirred things up. I’ve felt lost. Like pieces of the girl I used to be are waiting to pull me under again. But Arizona… she helps. She makes it quiet in my head. I didn’t want her to see the cracks. I didn’t want her to see me as broken.” Meredith’s lip wobbled as she started crying again. Mark didn’t hesitate before running towards the bed and pulling his sister in law into his arms and hugging her as tight as he could.

“You’re not broken. You’re just… still healing.” Mark said softly. “And that’s okay.” Meredith looked up at him and nodded.

“I forgive you.” Meredith breathed out and then looked at Addison. “He didn’t mean to hurt us, he just loves us so much that his brain tends to short circuit.”

“I know.” Addison nodded and then looked up at Mark. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah. I know.” Mark snorted.

“But you’re my idiot.” Addison smiled. “And I forgive you.” Mark extended an arm and Addison moved into it, letting her hold both her and her sister tightly. He kissed the tops of both of their heads.

“I love you guys.” Mark mumbled against their heads.

“We love you too, Buttmunch.” Meredith giggled as she pulled away. “I think it’s time that Arizona knows the whole story, but I can’t tell her alone because it’s not just my story, it’s all of our story. We all went through that and if she’s going to hear it, it needs to be from all three of us.” They nodded and together they walked to Meredith and Addison’s room and they all sat down on the bed.

“Is everything okay?” Arizona asked as she sat up.

“Yeah. I just… I need to talk to you. We all do. What Mark told you earlier—there’s more to it. A lot more. And I want you to hear it from me. From us. Because it’s not just my story, it’s theirs too.” Meredith took a deep breath. “When I moved in with them in New York, I was sixteen. The youngest person in every class. Everyone around me was older, more experienced, confident. I felt… invisible and completely exposed at the same time. I didn’t want to be a burden. They were newlyweds, starting their internships. So I stopped talking about how alone I felt. I thought if I could just keep going, it’d get better. But it never did.”

“I saw signs. Skipped meals. Sleepless nights. That thousand-yard stare. But when I started asking questions, she started pushing me away. So I stopped asking.” Addison continued.

“I came home on my lunch break one day to grab something and I found her in the bathtub Middle of the afternoon. Fully clothed. Water running. She was drunk. She didn’t even look surprised to see me. I told her she needed help. She just looked at me and said, ‘I’m fine.’ I had to go back to the hospital, but I knew in my gut that I shouldn’t have left her. That night… we came home and she was gone.” Mark ran a hand through his hair.

“I bought pills off a guy in my biochem class. Told myself I was just going to sleep for a few days. But I booked a motel room with blackout curtains, and I took a journal, and… I think I knew what I was doing. I just didn’t want to admit it.” Meredith added quietly.

“We called the police. Hospitals. We searched parks, alleys, emergency rooms. For three days, we didn’t know if she was dead. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I just waited.” Addison took Meredith’s hand in hers.

“We found her. Thank God. But she was messed up. Out of it. Fresh cuts on her arms. Empty eyes. We wanted to take her straight to the hospital. But she begged us not to. So we took her home.” Mark said next.

“I took a leave of absence. I didn’t trust her to be alone, not even for a minute. I made star-shaped sandwiches because she said stars made her feel safe. I washed her hair. I sang to her. I held her and just… hoped she’d come back to us.” Addison’s voice broke and Meredith squeezed her hand.

“Eventually, I asked for help. I said I needed someone who knew what was going on in my head. And Addison found me a therapist. She didn’t stop until she found someone who got it.” Meredith continued.

“She was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. And from there… it was a long road. But she took every step. We both did. She went back to college. I went back to work. There were still bad days, but the life came back in her eyes.” Addison finished. Arizona was quiet for several minutes, tears cascading down her face while Meredith looked down in shame. Finally, Arizona wiped her eyes and gently cupped Meredith’s face, tilting her chin up so they were making eye contact.

“I still love you. Every single part of you. Nothing’s changed.” Arizona promised.

“I was so afraid you’d see me as broken.” Meredith sobbed in relief.

“You’re not broken. You’re brilliant. You’re brave. You’re everything I love.” Arizona closed the distance between them, kissing Meredith deeply.

“They’re so cute, oh my God.” Addison broke down crying as Arizona and Meredith pulled away laughing.

“Every damn time.” Mark wrapped an arm around Addison.

“Addie, if you start sobbing again I’m going to make you a star sandwich just to shut you up.” Meredith threatened playfully.

“You better cut the crusts.” Addison sniffled. All four of them laughed and crammed into Meredith and Arizona’s bed, laying side by side. The truth about just how dark and twisty Meredith had ever gotten was out, but it didn’t change anything. It didn’t make Arizona see her any differently. She still loved her, and that was more than Meredith could have ever hoped.