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Louise smiled as Rudy and his dad laughed at her joke, saying that her family’s restaurant was originally supposed to be called “Bob’s Burgers and Banter” because her family was so good at banter. To be honest, she didn’t think it was one of the funniest things she ever said, but she appreciated the reaction it got. Not only because it was always nice for others to recognize her comedic brilliance, but also because she was happy to see Rudy in a good mood. So different from earlier that evening.
When Rudy showed up at the Belchers to join in eating the gross food Gene made Mom and Dad make because he got one freakin’ B-minus- I could get so many B-minuses if I tried!- it didn’t take long for Louise to realize that something was off with her buddy. He was acting weird. Sure, she’d seen him nervous before, when he thought some of her schemes went a little too far, like say, breaking into Ms. LaBonz’s house to get their Burobu cards back, but tonight was different. He was nervous just talking to Louise and her family- it was clearly to Louise early on that he had been hiding something.
And what a something he had been hiding! Rudy had run away from a family dinner! Rudy had run away. At night. In a strange neighborhood. Like that was freaking crazy for any nine-year-old to do! Even Louise would never think of doing something like that! (Yeah, she had run away that one time when threatened with dental torture, aka “filling a cavity”, from Dr. Yap- but that had been in broad daylight. And she had a plan!)
And then when Rudy finally cracked and told Louise and family what had happened and waited for her parents to get in touch with his, he just seemed so sad and deflated- he looked even sadder than he had when he found out Chloe Barbash didn’t want to give him a kiss on Valentine’s Day. And Louise had never wanted to see Rudy looking that sad again, let alone sadder.
Fortunately, she figured out a way to help Rudy out, yet again. Even more fourtatelier, unlike on Valentine’s Day, her solution for Rudy’s problem did not require her to kiss him.
No, it just involved her going to a fancy adult restaurant with Rudy and his parents and the people they were dating. And it worked perfectly, just as Louise knew it would.
They did magic tricks that Rudy had taught her, and all the adults told them how brilliant they were. And Louise made Rudy and everyone else laugh with her hilarious jokes. And throughout the dinner and the car ride home, there was no sign of the sad, worried boy who had shown up at Bob’s Burgers earlier that evening.
Mission accomplished. Louise Belcher saves the day, once again. As always.
And it had been a lot of fun. So much fun, that Louise felt strangely disappointed when Rudy’s dad said: “Well, speaking of your dad’s restaurant, Louise, look where we are!” He turned the wheel slightly and the car parked along the curb in front of the building Louise had lived in her entire life. “We’re there! That’s why I said that…”, he continued, stating the obvious.
Louise took a deep breath and the strange kinda-disappointed feeling lessened. After all, she’d see Rudy again at school on Monday and they could have more fun. And as a bonus, school would not feature Rudy’s Dad’s Girlfriend Vicki, who was boring and joyless even by the usual low standards Louise had for adults.
Louise saw Rudy’s Dad reach over to move the front passenger seat so that Louise could get out of the car. She figured that was her cue to leave. Louise undid her seatbelt and gave an enthusiastic wave to Rudy and his dad with her right hand.
“Rudes! Mr. Rudes!”- she knew that Rudy’s Dad’s name was Sylvester, and that he had told her several times that evening that she could call him that, but she still had a hard time believing that was an actual adult human being’s name- “It was a pleasure dining with you this evening…”
She started to move to get up when she felt something touch her left hand. It was soft and warm…and a little sweaty. Louise looked down and saw that it was, in fact, the only thing it logically could’ve been: it was Rudy’s right hand.
Rudy right hand was now wrapped around her left hand.
Louise stopped moving.
This wasn’t the first time Rudy’s hand had touched hers, of course. It just sort of happened sometimes when they were playing games or handing each other something or both talking and waving their hands around because whatever they were talking about was so exciting. That was normal. That was fine. That was no big deal.
But Rudy just taking Louise’s hand out of the blue? That was not normal. That was weird. Rudy was behaving weird again. But weird in a different way than he was earlier in the night. This probably didn’t have anything to do with him being sad or worried. But what was this about? Louise waited for Rudy to explain himself.
After what seemed like a very awkward forever, Rudy began talking softly, sometimes looking at Louise and then immediately moving his eyes to somewhere just to the side of her face. “Louise, I, uh, I….just wanted to thank you so much for offering to go back to the restaurant with me. Everything earlier in the night had just felt so hard, and I felt so lonely… And it just meant so much for me to have you there when I came back. So…uh…thank you again, I guess?”
Without even thinking about it, Louise found herself beginning to smile. Of course, she was pretty sure that she had cheered Rudy up and saved the day tonight, but it was nice to have him confirm it.
And she was glad she was able to help him with a problem that, frankly, was pretty foreign to her. Feeling lonely? As the youngest child of the Belcher family, that was never a problem. There were always plenty of people to hear and see and smell. If anything, finding a waking moment to be alone was a much bigger problem. It was part of why she had moved herself into a closet to have her own room years ago. Tonight, had really hammered home how different her and Rudy’s families were.
Just as Louise was thinking about Rudy’s family, Rudy’s Dad, who Louise had kinda forgot was in the car with them, started speaking: “Yes, Louise, thank you! And please thank your parents again for me and Rudy’s mom, we were both so worried…”
He went on like that for a bit and Louise tuned him out. She looked over to Rudy, seeing their hands interlinked and remembered the whole handholding thing that was apparently happening now. Even though it had been going on for a bit, and Louise sort of understood that it was part of Rudy thanking him for helping her out that night, it still felt weird.
But, while it was weird, Louise had to admit to herself that it wasn’t too weird. It wasn’t bad weird. It wasn’t weird like kissing Rudy- which was so weird she kept trying to file it away somewhere in brain where she would not think about it again for a couple of decades or maybe ever.
But holding hands, right now felt…nice weird? Was that a thing? It was the best phrase Louise could think of to describe how she felt. Sitting next to Rudy in the backseat of his dad’s car, holding his soft, warm, kind of sweaty hand was nice. After the night she and Rudy had, it felt nice to be with him a little longer, and to be a little closer to him than normally.
But even thinking that thought felt weird to Louise.
Yes, nice weird is what it was.
But maybe it wasn’t, that weird. After all, Rudy was her best friend.
Louise had always scoffed at the notion of a “best friend”. Who needed another kid to spend a bunch of time with- she already had two that she lived with!
And who could possibly keep up with her, Louise Belcher?!
Surprisingly, over the course of their long fourth grade year, it had turned out that the answer to that question was the slow, asthmatic red-haired boy sitting next to her- Regular Sized Rudy. Rudy could prank her and make her laugh. Rudy was always up to help out with her schemes (even when he had her doubts about them). Rudy was willing to stand up to her when, maybe, just possibly, she wasn’t thinking about other people’s feelings enough. And she and Rudy always had each other’s back.
And that’s really all tonight was about, right? Just having her best friend’s back.
And then, um, holding hands for a bit, apparently.
Finally, Rudy’s Dad stopped talking. Louise stopped looking at her and Rudy’s intertwined hands and instead looked Rudy straight in the eye: “I was happy to do this with you, Rudy. You know you’re my best friend, right?” I mean, I was thinking it…I might as well tell him.
She continued: “I would do anything for you, buddy! Even truly horrible things like eating a meal at a fancy pants restaurant that I don’t have to pay for, or playing tricks on adults who will tell me clever I am for playing tricks on them. This evening was a blast, Rudes! But even when it’s not a blast, I’ll always be there for you.”
Louise grinned at him and then let go of his hand, but not before giving it a little squeeze just to let him know that she found the whole handholding thing to be nice weird…surely he would get the message.
She left Rudy’s Dad’s car and walked the short distance across the sidewalk to the front door of the Belcher apartment. It was unlocked. She went in, locked it, and walked quickly up the stairs, humming a song she had heard when entering Plate and Fork.
She was interrupted by her mother’s voice coming from the living room. “Louise, is that you?” Linda Belcher’s voice called out.
“No, it’s a home invader!”, Louise called back. “I’m gonna tie you all up in a closet and steal all your valuables because you were foolish enough to leave your front door unlocked”
“Well, we left it unlocked for our daughter, who sounds a lot like you. Also, we don’t have any valuables, so the joke is on you! Ha!”
Louise chuckled, “Okay, that’s pretty good.” When she reached the top of the stairs, she entered the living room, where Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch, glasses of wine in front of them, muted TV on in front of them.
“Hey Louise, how was the food at Plate and Fork?” Dad asked as soon as he saw her.
Louise smiled. Of course that was the first thing Dad asked about. “It was really good. Much better than anything Gene could dream up in a chemistry class, or even in a whole school day.”
“I heard that, and I resent it!!” Her brother’s voice called from his room.
Louise and Mom and Dad ignored him.
“And, um, how much did the really good food cost?”, Dad asked. Of course that was the second thing he asked about.
“I have no idea! I just gave your eight dollars to someone and I assume they’ll take care of the rest!”
“Someone…like Rudy’s dad? Or his Mom? Or his Mom’s…boyfriend? Or one of the restaurant employees?”
Louise rolled her eyes, already bored by this topic of conversation. “His Dad. But I don’t know if his Dad paid for my food or not. At the end of dinner, there was this whole long conversation between Rudy’s parents and Paul, that’s his Mom’s boyfriend, about who was paying for what. It was a super boring conversation about food and money- you would’ve loved it!”
Dad sighed. “I just want to know who I owe money to…”
Louise grinned and responded: “Well, Mr. Fischoeder, the guy from the bank, Teddy and Mort…I’m just assuming…and your bookie for your massive gambling debts that you think are secret and are the real reason we are always so broke.”
Dad sighed again. “I don’t have gambling debts. And I don’t owe Teddy money. And I guess I’ll just check in with Rudy’s parents about what I owe them.”
Mom chimed in then, in a much more upbeat tone: “Soooooo, besides the food, how was it?! Did you have a good time?” She said it with a bit of a singsong quality. Louise was suspicious. Did Mom know more than she was letting on? Or had she just already had quite a bit of wine? Or both?
“It was a lot of fun!” Louise answered, honestly, bouncing on her feet slightly with enthusiasm. “Rudy taught me a couple of magic tricks that I could be his partner on, and then all the adults kept talking about how brilliant we were for tricking them! It turns out that I was wrong about magic, it’s not completely nerdy! You get to trick people and be praised for it!”
“Ooh, look at my little Louise, learning how to turn tricks!”, Mom cooed excitedly.
Dad shifted around awkwardly on the couch and quietly said, “Um, Lin, I think magicians perform tricks or..do..tricks? They don’t turn tricks. That’s, uh, a different profession you are thinking about.”
“Oh?...Oh! Ha!” Mom’s eyes got wide and she laughed loudly. “Yes, Louise please don’t ever turn tricks! Or even learn what means.”
Well, I guess I’ll have to look *that* up later, Louise thought.
“So, besides for performing magic tricks,” Mom shot a look at Dad, “did you and Rudy have fun?”
“Yeah, it was a hoot- just like I said it would be!” Louise boasted. Then she thought a little more about her conversation with Rudy in the car. “I think it really helped Rudy to have me there. I had never really thought before about how hard some of Rudy’s family stuff could be. Like being an only child and his parents aren’t even together. All I had really thought about was how cool it was that he had two different houses he didn’t have to share with siblings. I didn’t really think about how it could be lonely or stressful or whatever.”
“Well, I’m glad you could help Rudy out tonight,” Dad said.
“Yeah, me too.” Louise said. There was still a thought on her mind from what she had been saying about Rudy’s family. She might as well say it. “And, you know, seeing how hard things could be for Rudy with his parents’ divorce and being an only kid, it just made me think…you know…that we have a good thing going here. You know ,with you guys being together. And me, I’m always a blast! And, you know, having Gene and Tina around is good, too.”
Louise sort of regretted saying that when she saw her Mom heading towards her with her arms open. And then they were tightly wrapped around her.
“Awwwww, my little Louiseey Peezy loves her family so much! And we love you, too!”
Geez, why do they always have to make such a big deal about it when I let them know that I like them?! This is almost as bad as when I read that poem at Christmas…
After a Louise-determined long enough period of time for the hug, she wiggled her way out of it and started backing out of the living room. “And now, mother and father, I bid you good night…”
Before Louise was out of the room, her mom called something out that made her stop in her tracks: “And that was so cute how you and Rudy were holding hands in his dad’s car when saying good night!”
“Oh my god, Lin, why did you mention that…?”, Dad sighed quietly.
They saw that?!? How could they see that?!? It’s night and they’re old and way up here and why were they even watching us?!? Louise did not want her nice weird moment with Rudy being ruined by a parental inquisition.
She wasn’t sure how to best do damage control in this situation. She decided to start with some indignation: “What?! Were you spying on me, mother? Invading my privacy!”
“What?! No, it wasn’t like that at all,” Mom began, “I was just looking out the window when we thought you might return for your own safety! I mean, we had to make sure you didn’t run into a real home invader! After all, Dad didn’t let you bring your brass knuckles tonight, remember?”
Okay, she’s playing the “looking out for me” card…time to change tactics…make her doubt what she saw…
“Well, the thing is, Mom, Rudy and I were in the car together, but we definitely weren’t holding hands!”
“No….?”
“No! And I don’t even know how you think you could’ve seen something like that! Me and Rudy are only nine, we are so small! And our hands are even smaller! And we were in a big car! Outside in the dark! And you were way up here on the second floor! And, no offense, but you are kind of old…and you have glasses…and just look at how dirty your glasses are!”
To Louise’s surprise, her mother did just that. She took her glasses off, blew on them, wiped them with her shirt, and then put them back on, and blinked.
“Y’know, Louise, I think you are right! My glasses were super dirty! No way I could’ve seen you and Rudy holding each other’s tiny kid hands from way up here in the dark! I must’ve been imagining things. Sorry about that!”
“Apology accepted”, Louise said, very graciously (in her opinion). She turned and started to walk out of the living room, when she heard Mom call out again.
“Louise, that was a very sweet thing you did for Rudy tonight, goin’ with him to his dinner to make sure he felt less lonely. You’re a kind girl and a good friend.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever.” Louise said. Only once she was out of the room, did she smile at Mom’s words.
As she walked to her room, she heard Mom attempting to whisper to Dad: “I don’t get why she didn’t admit that she and Rudy were holdin’ hands! It was sooooo cute!”
“Lin, it’s Louise,” Dad said. “You know how she is about her privacy…” As if to prove his point, Louise entered her room and shut and locked the door behind her at that moment.
That song from the restaurant still in her head, Louise kicked off her shoes and spun around, landing on the beanbag chair beneath her loft bed. She found herself looking at her left hand, the one that Rudy had held. She rubbed her fingers against her palm, thinking about nothing in particular.
Definitely not thinking about something nice weird from earlier in the evening.