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It was the New Year, and Rin was stargazing with Nanase in the latter's room that night. They were about to go to sleep when Rin declared he wanted to see the stars. Nanase had already seen Rin wistfully gazing at the night sky two days ago, so he thought maybe, this was one of Rin's rare hobbies.
Nanase watched as Rin sat by the window in their dark room, so he also sat on the floor with the other guy, facing the window, to see the stars.
The stars were so bright that they twinkled clearly against the black backdrop that is the sky, for they were in the countryside. Nanase's dark room made the stars glitter even brighter. The moon was also so clear that it seemed like a giant flashlight shining through Nanase's window. As the two of them silently gazed at nature's chandelier, Rin took a look at Nanase.
A few days ago, their school ended for the winter break. Their soccer team came third in the district finals, so they were not able to qualify for the Winter Kokuritsu despite having a solid lineup. Their coach had them in a meeting after classes were over and told them to either enjoy their winter break, or go to Osaka to cheer for their Tokyo representatives.
At that time, Nanase asked Rin where he would be spending his winter break. Rin, the ever introverted who hated company, asked Nanase why he would even ask. But Nanase said he would be coming home for the break, and invited Rin over.
It was a bold move from Nanase, Rin thought, but he realized that should he be staying in his apartment in Tokyo, he'd only be doing yoga and thinking of existential crisis. He was alone just a few days ago during Christmas (not that it really mattered to him as a Japanese, as it was just a holiday of commercial value), so he thought his itinerary for the New Year should be different. The fact that Nanase told him where his hometown was made Rin thought that, for a change, he could go with his classmate and teammate. Perhaps, he could see the stars clearly than in the foggy night skies in Tokyo.
Rin and Nanase were classmates and soccer teammates, but they didn't interact that much. Rin had noted in passing that Nanase interacted mostly with their other classmate and teammate, the introverted Kurona Ranze, and with the sempais, but he did not talk too long with Nanase whenever the latter would approach him in the classroom or on the field.
It was just that last day of classes before the winter break when he allowed himself to talk to the upbeat guy.
Rin invited Nanase over to his apartment for the night so that they could go together. He could see the sparkle in the eyes of the other boy and the enthusiastic nod that followed. It was the first time that they interacted longer. It was also the first time he invited someone over to his apartment.
He was clearly a city boy, for he was astounded at the things in the rural area. It was a chilly winter, but the numerous bald trees clad in white in Nanase's hometown made Rin feel very warm, oddly enough. It was like he, too, came home. He thought that they would be passing by frozen rice paddies, but Nanase's hometown is the capital of their prefecture. It had a rural city feel, and not as chaotic as Tokyo.
But what made him extremely jealous of his teammate was the fact that Nanase's family was waiting for him to come home. Nanase was close with his family, and was very loving towards his two younger sisters. It must be why Nanase had such a jolly disposition, something that Rin sometimes get annoyed with. Nanase was not loud like their other teammate Shidou, but Nanase was too enthusiastic for Rin to take.
That day, when Nanase looked at him with a smile, Rin suddenly turned wistful. His apartment was desolate, as he and his nii-chan Sae, who he was not in good terms with, both left their grand house when they started high school and separately lived by themselves. If he had stayed home, he knew someone would be waiting for him. Someone would be missing him.
Nanase had Rin stay in his room. It was no problems, being boys who had showered together after practices. Nanase offered to sleep on the floor because though the bed was spacious, he wanted Rin to sleep comfortably. Rin could be Rin. He could be selfish. But seeing how Nanase was too kind to invite him over for the winter break, he decided to just let Nanase sleep on the same bed. He'd take the space near the wall, so Nanase take the edge side so the host could get up immediately as needed.
Though he could be sulky, Rin allowed himself to enjoy the simple joys of the countryside. Nanase was so generous and hospitable, he thought. The next day, the country boy showed Rin around, ate choco mint ice cream with him despite the cold weather, and "abused" Rin's eardrums as he shouted over the microphone during their karaoke session. Rin hated singing and dancing. He had known only soccer all his life. So while Nanase was belting his heart out to rock songs, Rin contented himself with playing the tambourines, albeit lifelessly. Yet, he found himself enjoying the company of the other guy. He hated to admit it because he wanted people to leave him alone, but he found himself drawn towards Nanase.
Rin also found out that Nanase could cook. Rin also found out their difference in skills. While he was the soccer rock star in their high school and in their prefecture, his skills in the kitchen were like teammate Igaguri's soccer skills: dismal. In contrast, Nanase was mediocre in the field, but was highly skillful in the kitchen. The day after they arrived, Rin helped Nanase in preparing breakfast. (This was the day when he and Nanase went out to eat choco mint ice cream). The only skill Rin was proud of was cutting up vegetables, as he mostly just buy already peeled ones from the grocery. He only looked for easy-to-cook-in-the-microwave-food in the internet, and had only sustained himself that way so far. The country boy was very patient with him, and nonetheless, they were able to make up a proper meal.
Rin's thought flew back to what occurred earlier during the day. The whole family and Rin stayed up late last night to watch the fireworks and greet the new year, but still, Nanase got up early to cook breakfast. As usual, Rin acted as Nanase's "wingman" in the kitchen. And just this late morning, Rin tried his hand in cooking, as per Nanase's guidance. Yet, he burned his hand as he accidentally held the hot ladle by the bowl. Nanase immediately held Rin's hand and led him to the faucet to run tepid water over his burn.
And for the first time, Rin felt something he knew he hadn't. The tender touch of Nanase's hand on his, and the warmth and concern on the country boy's eyes had Rin's heart skipping a beat. He found himself stuttering as he answered Nanase's questions, but he was a bit thankful that Nanase did not perceive his hesitation to answer.
He wondered what this feeling was, and he pondered on it the whole day. Rin did his best to answer as nonchalantly as possible to the country boy, but he found himself the butt of Nanase's lighthearted jokes. Rin did not understand this feeling, as it was probably the first time he felt this way for somebody. If he had, he probably had felt it for a girl before, but he could not remember. So great was his hatred for his brother for discarding their shared dreams of being the best strikers that all he ever felt that strong was that revenge to be a great forward. But that little feeling of butterflies in his stomach? He forgot how it felt, and he was confused about what that feeling was. Heck, he did not even know what it was!
He did not want to admit it, but deep inside, he felt happy just being beside Nanase. He never verbalized it, nor let his face show his emotions, but he felt happy seeing the country boy smile, frown, pout, or be pensive. Looking back in hindsight, he realized that he felt happy cooking or strolling around town with the country boy. Helping Nanase buy belated Christmas gifts for his family somehow made Rin happy, that he also bought some gifts for the family as well.
The stoic Itoshi Rin was not one for sentimentality, and certainly not for the holiday extravagance. Earlier that day, the two friends were strolling around in the afternoon, and it was dusk when some snow fell from the sky. Rin felt his heart skipping a beat again when he watched Nanase's wide eyes and happy expression while watching the delicate snow. It must be the spirit of the season that gave him this newfound feeling.
And when Nanase expressed his desire to go home for dinner, Rin could not find it in him to say no. So many times in the field, he was one who would say "no" no matter who would ask him for help or for favor, and he must have declined Nanase before. But right now? It was the new Itoshi Rin, and he was under Nanase's spell. Not to mention, those bright eyes and hopeful smile were prettier than the decors of the Christmas trees on the stores that they passed by.
He cursed himself deep inside, not understanding what he felt. He knew he liked it, but he was so scared to dwell into it and put a proper name to it.
"Ah, shit," he thought. "Am I someone who feels this way for someone too easily?"
His thoughts from previous days and from earlier were cut short when Nanase turned to look at him.
"Is somethin' wrong, Rin-san?" Nanase asked him.
"Uh, the stars are beautiful," Rin replied.
"Deshou? They're brighter here than in the city," Nanase replied. "The light snow earlier today was beautiful, and the stars even blessed our new year tonight."
"I don't believe in omens, but if I have to, this must be a good one," Rin remarked.
Nanase laughed a bit. "Must be, yeah."
Rin turned towards the window and looked back at the sky, but a part of him could sense that Nanase still had his eyes on him. He turned his head to the side again and indeed saw the country boy still looking at him, and with what looked like curiosity in his eyes.
"What?"
"Somethin's botherin' ya, aint it?" Nanase asked again.
"You're not the most perceptive person I know, Nijirou, but maybe I could tell you something."
Rin saw the wide smile on the country boy's face. Ever since he called the other by his first name, Nanase seemed to have that happy smile. Must be because the other was thinking that they're that close to be calling each other by first name basis. For Rin, it's not that he and Nanase were close. He could still not consider them really close friends. It's just that, Nanase's first name was all he ever heard from Nanase's parents eversince they came to the hometown. So "Nijirou" stuck like gum.
"What is it?"
And Rin started telling him what he felt, but he just veiled it such that he did not want Nanase to know. The country boy listened attentively, and when Rin finished, he saw something what looked like wistfulness in Nanase's eyes.
"Ya like someone, Rin-san?"
"Like? You mean, something like a crush?"
"Hm. That's how it seems to meh," Nanase remarked.
"Sou ka?" Rin-asked.
"Ah, or yer probably in love. Ya should tell her," Nanase advised.
It was when Rin realized what it was about. He had a crush on someone. And another realization hit him. He knew he had always been straight, or so he thought. He had liked girls before, but only those on TV. He forgot if he really had a crush on someone of the opposite sex before (and I mean, someone he personally knew), but as of now, he knew he was attracted to Nanase.
"It's a guy," Rin replied.
Nanase's eyes grew wide. "Oh, I didn't know ya swing that way, Rin-san."
"I figured it out just now after your confirmation about what I feel," Rin remarked.
Nanase smiled, but it seemed like a pensive smile to Rin. "Who is it, Rin-san? Is it in our class? In our team?"
"Hmm."
"Ha, so lucky that guy," Nanase said in a wistful yet dreamy voice. "Tell him when we get back from our break."
"Okay," Rin remarked.
But then, he moved his hand and placed it on Nanase's, all the while looking at the country boy. Despite the darkness of the room, Rin could see the expression on Nanase's face, thanks to the moonlight. He could see the shock on Nanase's face as he gradually wrapped his hand around Nanase's.
"I like you, Nijirou," Rin confessed with all the sincerity he could muster.
He always thought that Nanase was being annoying and coming near to him for a chat or to needlessly ask for help, but when he saw the other boy smiling and looking down coyly made Rin think that perhaps, Nanase had been crushing on him too. And what he thought was confirmed when Nanase admitted that he also had a crush on Rin.
"I liked ya at first sight, Rin-san," Nanase admitted.
Rin raised his other hand and ran his fingers through Nanase's fringes, his expression still that stoic one he always wore. But deep inside, he was feeling mushy and giddy.
"You're so cute," he told Nanase.
He released both of his hands from where they were touching, wrapped his arms around the other boy, and pulled him closer. He had Nanase lean on his shoulder, and he planted a small kiss on Nanase's hair.
"I really like you," Rin confessed again.
He heard Nanase gasp again before the other boy in his arms moaned in contentment. They stayed like that for quite a moment, letting the stars and the moon witness their blossoming feelings for each other.
"Today's your birthday, right?" Rin asked, to which Nanase hummed in agreement. "You got a simple celebration earlier, but you got a special gift from me."
"I'm the happiest man alive, Rin-san," Nanase replied as he buried his face on Rin's shoulder.
Perhaps, not being able to represent Tokyo for the winter high school soccer tournament was not so bad after all. And heck, the insufferable Itoshi Rin never anticipated that he would fall in love with someone on the New Year.
--end--