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Sophie was pacing in her room, nervously. Life was a mess. Even more than usual, actually. How could it have been only one month since they discovered Elysian?
So much had happened since then… and every event worse than the previous. Linh and Marella kidnapped while the Black Swan was overwhelmed with attacks on their hideouts, to the point Fintan took the matter in his hands and forcefully escaped his ice prison, burning everything to the ground to free his Prodigy. Well, maybe not alone, considering how guilty Bronte had felt immediately after. To the point of breaking. Healing him had been a challenge and every piece of memory she had seen then… it was still haunting her. So much pain, so much regret, so many things forever faded. And it was so cold, colder than any mind, and the heat at the center was so dim time had seem eternal while she was trying to heal, to inflict positive emotions. The worst thing being that, right after the Councillor was healed, the Neverseen attacked again, exploding a part of Eternalia and threatening to take new captives, they were about to when Fintan jumped in the fight, screaming something that sounded like an order to run to the kids. He had saved Linh and Marella, who were standing awkwardly on the side, and ran when he said.
Then, after this attack, they finally had a moment of peace. Well, peace was sure a big word, but… it looked like it. Truce during which they learnt all the secrets of Elysian, and Keefe told them about his adventures in Humanland, the mysteries uncovered, the meeting with Alvar, everything. Keefe’s story was weighing, but not as much as Elysian’s…
Calm down, Sophie, calm. It’s ok. Yeah they created a damn primal source out of nowhere millennia ago, trapped some Lighter to watch over it, and Gisela wanted to pirate it. And now it lost half its powers. But yeah, calm down.
She couldn’t stop pacing. Walking. Every second of calm given by the outside was even worse than battles to her. She was always planning, always overthinking, always calculating.
And she was also trying to meticulously avoid some thoughts. Keefe was incredible but something wasn’t right, she could not tell what. He felt it too, and that led to difficulties of communication like never before, and his complicated Empathy didn’t help. They truly cared for each other, really, and they thought it was love, these smiles seeing each other, the warmth in their hearts, the constant thinking, but somehow calling it love, saying they were dating…
It felt even more wrong than with Fitz.
Stop thinking about that!
Sophie pulled out a few eyelashes. It had been three days since she last saw Keefe, and she missed him, a bit, but also…
Argh. What was wrong with her???
With anger, she took Hope out of its sheath and started to throw it at the target on her wall. Different pictures of the Neverseen members, in menacing poses. Painted by her boyfriend.
Maybe saying it over and over would make it right. Fake it till you make it.
Her Imparter suddenly started ringing, emitting a red light. Not again…
She took the call, her brows frowning despite her attempts to seem calm.
Teal eyes, bad news.
The Vackers never called without a very serious motive.
“Biana? What’s happening?”
“Erm… You know how I was in scouting mission in that Italian city where there’s the access to the Black Swan hideout?”
“Florence, yeah?”
“Well uh. The scout needs armed support.”
“Biana??? Biana, what do you mean???”
“Can’t tell you, they’ll hear me… Please, just come. And bring as many warriors as you can.”
“Kay, I’ll be there with Sandor and Bo, I go to the Shores of Solace pick Ro, and uh… Do you want your brother to come with Grizel? Is Woltzer with you?”
“Yes for your guards and Ro, yes I have Woltzer, you can bring Grizel if she accepts to leave my brother. No elf, I beg you, too dangerous for us.”
“To this point?? Should I tell the Council???”
“NO. Please, come… it’s…”
Biana’s sentence was interrupted by an explosion so loud it startled Sophie in her room and made Sandor burst through the door, visibly worried.
Sophie immediately explained what was going on, grabbed his hand and ran through the corridors to get to Bo, patrolling outside. Once she had both of them, she ran, arriving to the Shores in a second. There, Keefe and Ro were standing on the beach, talking theories and conspiracies.
Sophie stopped running, looked at her boyfriend with a slight smile that meant all at the same time “sorry”, “stay safe”, and “no, no joke now” as she started to explain that Biana needed help and that she had asked for Ro to come, but no elves except Sophie, cause it was extremely dangerous.
Keefe frowned, saying his commends could be useful, now that he globally knew how to use and control them. But Biana had said no elf. And Sophie wasn’t in the mood for arguing, so she felt relieved when the boy walked towards the house, visibly frustrated. Maybe it was ok. Maybe…
She shook her head, forbidding herself from finishing this thought. He would stay safe.
Ro had said ok. So Sophie grabbed her hand, Sandor at her other side and Bo at Sandor’s other hand, and they ran, finding themselves in Florence.
Which was visibly under attack. The evening sky, the walls decorated for the end of the year, old red LED's falling and exploding, like some sort of apocalypse fireworks. It’s weird. All the chants, suddenly becoming screams. Blood splattered, innocent hurt. It hurt deep in her heart, it weighs.
She must find Biana, she must stop this, she feels tears down her cheeks, she feels her hands burning, she looks around, black hood with a white eye, red bolt jolting from her brain, another hood, another bolt, the pain is immeasurable, unimaginable, hood, bolt, she doesn’t care about human seeing, they’ll need Erasers, cause the city is imploding and she’s walking through the crowd, looking for her friend, for these teal eyes so characteristic, for these scars so rare that she made beautiful.
“FREEZE!”
Everything stops. Blonde hair crosses the scene, a challenging smile like a mockery of every pain on earth.
“Sophie, move.”
She feels her breath come back. She moves, slowly. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. It feels like a weird slow-motion.
Keefe is here. Keefe takes her in his arms, whispering that he is so sorry, but he couldn’t just let her go. If it’s dangerous, he wants to be there, and she knows this already, so she just nods.
It’s ok. Now that time had slowed down, that everything had frozen on his command, she felt her rush of thoughts calming down.
She looked around, still trying to spot Biana. Cause Biana needed her. Biana had called for her.
“Sophie. I won’t be able to hold the scene much longer.”
“What?”
“The “freeze” commend is temporary. It’s my favorite cause then I don’t have to panic for the solution word. But… it’s temporary. I didn’t have a better one. I am so sorry.”
“Don’t… Don’t be. Please. I love you.”
“I love you too, Foster. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She smiled. No, their relationship wasn’t exactly easy, they had fights, they had difficulties and misunderstandings, but… they were here for each other…
“Help me find Biana, will you? Then we’ll be able to get out of here.”
“Sure. I just…”
“I know, Keefe. We’ll be fast.”
“Biana? Move.”
A sigh echoed from somewhere, turning their eyes towards the other end of the crowded street. They ran in that direction, footsteps sounding so loud in the surnatural silence provoked by the boy’s order. They finally spotted her, waving her bloodied hand towards them, smiling.
And right at the second they waved back, the scene unfroze.
And chaos erupted, explosions and lights flashing everywhere, so loud they were deafening, so many actions, so many screams, Sophie spotted black hood over black hood, she tried to inflict them all with pain and fear as big as those she was feeling, but to not avail, they were too many, and they were using technology, and weapons, she finally reached Biana, turned back to grab Keefe.
Who was bleeding, down on the floor. A lot. He…
“Keefe?? Keefe???”
“I think he’s been stabbed… Just… I… I can do from now, you helped so much, I…”
“Biana, no way in hell I’m leaving you here. I’ll teleport us. Just need a bit of space to run, and to…”
“Wait a sec.”
The brunette took off her cape, put it around Keefe’s body and tried to knot it strongly. At least, that way… maybe he would not loose too much blood… though something in her head, and in Sophie’s eyes, was already screaming that it was too late. At such an hour, Elwin was probably still at Foxfire, but…
One second later, the three teens were in the Care Center of the school, a screaming banshee nestled at their feet. Sophie put down her boyfriend on the closest bed while Biana was running towards the office, dragging Elwin out, begging him to just do something.
The Flasher immediately frowned seeing the quantity of blood, he snapped his fingers, creating different light bulbs reflecting on his glasses. worried. And his face immediately lost all colors. The spleen was pierced. And that…
“I… I’m so sorry, I’m not sure I can do… the hit is too deep… I’m so sorry… Maybe humans could do something?”
“No… Not human medicine… Alvar took some and he can’t lightleap now…”
“You told us about that, yeah, but Keefe… Please, don’t…”
“It’s ok, Foster. Should’ve listened to you. And, Biana?”
“Yeah?”
“Not your fault, kay? Don’t blame yourself, please. You needed help, cause even with all the bravery of the universe making you go one-on-on of a psychopathic Ancient can be not enough. I came to help. I did. I chose it. My fault. You promise?”
“I… I do. I promise. I promise I won’t blame myself.”
“Thanks. Foster, I love you. Always had, always will. You’re the heroine of everyone’s story, the best life keeper of the lost cities. Love you.”
“I… I love you too…”
Elwin was activating around, trying to limit the bleeding, working with the elixirs, trying to buy time.
He could not operate the kid.
These things didn’t exist.
And he could see on the teens' face their resolution. The three of them hated it, but the three of them knew that not being able to get around would kill Keefe even more, they knew as much as he did, he was just buying time, Imparter in hand to ask Livvy Sonden for help, but she couldn’t do anything more, she was just recommending that he stays calm. There was terror on the face of the two physicians, terror cause that was not something to ever happen.
Normally, a few elixirs and that was good. But now, it wasn’t enough…
Biana was holding her Imparter too, calling all of their friends, Keefe wanted to talk to them, to apologize, to give advice, to make one last joke, he asked Dex to always color Iggy for him, told Fitz that anger was right after all when their world was so rigged, he was sorry for drifting away, he said to the twins to never let their parents drag them down, that the silver in their hairs was so cool actually, he told Marella to fight for what was right and burn down, literally or not, the problems of their system. To Wylie he asked to care for the reckless, and he thanked the Flasher for all the sacrifices and devotion he gave. The Empath thanked Stina for trying to stay with them, for her acceptation, he advised her to try and be nicer, and most of all, he told her, whispering, that Sophie would probably need an Empath to break through her panic moments, and explained what to do to calm her down, how he did it. To Maruca, he apologized to never get to know her much, thanked her for her implication, and wished her strength.
He even asked to call his father, to say goodbye and make Cassius promise he’d be ok, which the Lord did, despite his visible surprise.
Then, the boy turned to Biana, reiterated how it wasn’t her fault, she had been a great friend through his childhood.
He looked over at the medic over him, desperately trying to just do something, and said that it was ok. There was no solution, but it was ok. It was war, after all, and he risked it. It was not Elwin’s fault.
And, his smile becoming weaker, he turned one last time to Sophie.
“I love you, Sophie. Please, be happy. Please, do not forget to be happy. I love you.”
“I love you too, Keefe…”
And as he closed his eyes, letting out a weakened last breath, she felt her heart breaking. Tears started streaming down her cheeks, with no sob, silent crying for the silence in her head, while Biana was shaking, shock coursing through her veins, forcing her to sat down, staining her dress with the still hot blood of her friend.
This was not… She felt Sophie falling down next to her, shaking too, her head falling on her shoulder as a tentative of connection, to feel less alone, and so the brunette just hold her friend into her arms, trying not to think how her skin was soft, trying to avoid to look at her frowned brows, just comforting her, crying with her.
************
Three weeks later, Havenfield.
Sophie was laying on her bed, music playing from her iPod. Since Keefe’s death, she had barely been able to move, sleep or eat. It was just… too much. After a good ten minutes of crying, she had gone back to Florence, picking the bodyguards, not saying a word, she could not tell Ro what happened. And when the ogre princess had found out, she had been on a rampage, finding Neverseen’s hideouts, destroying and infesting them with her special bacteria, destructing every single thing the could. She saw two unknown members of the Neverseen, captured them, and since them, she was meticulously torturing them to know where they hid, how they went from a place to the other, and a good piece of their plans for the immediate future. Swearing that if she ever found Gisela, the elf would suffer the most excruciating death ever.
But Sophie wasn’t hearing any of that. Her grief was silent. Tears. Waves of denial, where she was expecting her Imparter to ring and reveal his smile, his voice saying that it was all just a way to go investigate and he was sorry. But it never happened. So then came the anger. Short, ill-burning, hate against herself for even telling him about what was happening, three days where every line of thought was bleeding on her thighs, till Biana came, walking through the door, imposing her presence, forcing herself in the visible to take care of the mess the Telepath was.
Feeding her. Soothing her to sleep, a little. Hugging her when she woke from nightmares. Preparing baths for her. Talking to her, about life in the Lost Cities, about Foxfire, about the animals in the garden. Keeping her from hurting herself. Whispering her away from the haze of anger. The Vacker girl had been here for a week and a half, helping Sophie through the grief, chasing the anger away. Reasoning the bargaining the blonde had been stuck in for almost a week.
“You’re doing good, Sophie.”
“Oh. You’re here.”
“Always. Told you I wouldn’t leave your side.”
“Thanks Biana…”
“It’s nothing. I went to the Forbidden Cities with Dad. Picked up some books about what grief is. How it works. I’m not sure I can imagine living in a world where grief is so common there are books written about it. You know you’re a textbook griever?”
“What do you mean?” asked Sophie sitting right back up, looking at Biana.
“Well, the… psychologists, I think they’re called, say there are big tendencies, a bit like steps, or stages, for grief, but they are not… Like, these are tendencies, but you can skip a stage, or do them in a different order. The textbook is five, six or seven. Seven goes chock, denial, anger, depression, resignation, acceptance, reconstruction. Six removes the chock part. And five counts denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You’ve been doing textbook for five. You had that week of pure denial, then the anger before I came. And with me here, you switched to bargaining, asking me if there was anyway that could’ve not happened, explaining everything you’d change, telling me everything you want different than it is. And now you’re just… sad. No need to be an Empath to know that you feel just so hollow, so sad, that you just cry. I see it. And I’m here. You’ll get through it.”
“Thank you, Biana… And you… how… I’m so selfish, I didn’t even think to ask you before… how are you doing?”
“That’s not selfish, love. You lost your boyfriend! And I’m good. I… I wasn’t that close with Keefe anymore. Honestly, he… he drifted away from us since he fake-joined the Neverseen… He only had you. He thought of calling everyone, but you were his only true friend. He isolated himself so much. So we’re less affected. It was hard for a while, that’s why I didn’t come immediately, but I made peace with it. And you care so much for all of us, you deserve to be cared for.”
“Thank you Biana…”
“That’s nothing. I love you too much to let you on your own.”
“You’re the best.”
Sophie climbed out of the bed, coming to hug her friend. It felt so cozy every time Biana was here. Even when it was just her presence and she was not visible.
It was alright, somehow. A smile, an encouragement, normal talks about school, about friends, strangely not about boys. The Telepath had asked once, the Eclipser had shut it down saying she didn’t care about that, and didn’t have time anyway.
“Bia? You really don’t care about love and boys?”
“Love yes, boys no.”
“…?? What?”
“Yeah no…”
“You’re gay?”
“Uh?”
“I said gay in English, didn’t I?”
“You did. I thought it meant joyful or bright?”
“Yeah. Originally it did. But now we use it to design people who love the same gender. I assume there isn’t a word in the Enlightened Language, if I couldn’t find it?”
“No. There are… There are people like that, and couples… they are classified as bad matches. But we don’t have a specific word. I love the “gay” though. It’d be fun to describe our frowned upon couples with a word that means bright, us who love the light so much…”
“I agree.”
“Do you like girls?”
“…. Maybe?”
“You know… I realized I liked girls when I saw Linh. And then I fell in love. But not for her.”
“Oh? Who do you love?”
“I don’t… I don’t want to tell you.”
“Would you help me know if I like girls?”
“Tell me how.”
“Kiss me.”
“Sophie… no. Please. Don’t…”
“I am not playing with you. I know that’s what it looks like. But… I… "think" isn’t even a strong enough word. I am pretty sure I love you. But my brain is refusing to admit it. It’s blocking emotions again. Cause you were here through my darkest nights, flickering like a candle, but comforting and illuminating me. Cause you became my light. And I just… feel safer with you, I live in your smile, but my brain refuses to hear it. Please, Bia.”
The brunette smiled. She had dreamed this moment so many times before, she struggled to believe it was real, but it was, she knew it at the brush of Sophie’s hair against her neck, at the light reflecting on the little star scar on her left hand, matching the reddish welts on her own hands. Small details her brain erased in the deep of the night, in the corners of imagination.
It was real. Her hidden, secret love was shared.
She nodded, tilted her friend’s chin up, brushed the smiling lips from the tip of her fingers, and kissed her, slowly, first just a brush, then a pressure, mixing their saliva slowly as they were searching for each other, drowning in a new view of life, discovering happiness and that one feeling of wholeness and belonging they had craved for so long.
They loved each other.
They were home, finally.
And when they separated their lips, trying to breathe, they felt their eyes fixating on each other.
Every breath had to be shared, now, euphoria pulsing in their veins, to have found each other.