Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hello, Mother. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit ‘till now, but you know how war is. Especially with your grave being here in Hoshido, it was hard for me to visit before, for obvious reasons.”

Kamui paused. What could they say that wouldn’t sound pathetic? They were to visit Takumi, Azura and Ryoma’s graves next, and, somehow, they were already exhausted.

They could sense Zero beside them, hear the soft clink of metal and rustling of fabric as the man shifted to crouch beside Kamui.

“I’m so sorry you had to die. Often, I’ll find myself wondering what life would’ve been like if… If you hadn’t died. If Father hadn’t died. If I’d grown up in Hoshido. So many what-ifs. … I hate it. I daydream about what life would be like, and then I find myself jolted back to reality where half my birth family is dead and the rest, on both sides, suffer.”

Zero put his arm around Kamui. They leaned into him gratefully.

“I have Zero, at least. That’s someone I wouldn’t have if all those what-ifs were reality. He may not be able to replace the four of you, even as wonderful as he is, but I don’t know what I’d do without him. I doubt I’d be alive if not for him.”

The familiar tang of blood reached Kamui’s conscience, and they realized they’d been chewing their lip.

“I, ah… I’m not sure what to say at this point. There’s so much to say, but the words are failing me. I wish you could’ve met Zero. Although…” Kamui managed a smile, glancing at Zero briefly. “I’m not sure he’s what you’d expect royalty to marry.” Zero laughed at that.

“If only I’d asked Sakura about Hoshidan customs on what to say while visiting graves; my mind is blanking. I guess… It’s time to visit Takumi, Ryoma, and Azura?”

Zero hummed quietly.

Kamui stood, brushing grass off their knees.

As they turned, about to walk the few paces to Takumi’s grave, they heard Zero speak softly, and their breath caught in their throat.

“Thank you for saving Kamui, Queen Mikoto. And for being their mother, of course. … Thank you for everything. I’m not sure that what I’m about to do is exactly considered the proper thing to do before your families’ graves, but... ”

Zero stood and moved toward Kamui in a single, swift movement, wrapping his arms around them and kissing them.

Kamui blinked, but kissed him back, stretching up -- curse their petite stature.

The kiss broke, and Kamui stared up at Zero, bright eyes wide, and Zero grinned.

“Like I said, it probably wasn’t proper, but it felt like the right thing to do.”

Kamui laughed then, resting their forehead against Zero’s chest.

Zero pressed his lips to the top of Kamui’s head, smile only widening.

They stood like that for a moment, until Kamui remembered where they were and why, and their shoulders slumped.

Zero noticed right away, of course, but before he could attempt to comfort them or even ask what was wrong, Kamui leaned back, frowning.

“We don’t have much more time until we must leave, and we haven’t visited the other three yet. As nice as that was, we should move on…”

Zero nodded, dropping his arms. Kamui leaned against him as they turned towards Takumi’s grave. With a soft sigh, they knelt down.

“Hello, brother… It’s been a while.”

Chapter Text

Zero woke up with his heart racing and his chest tight. It was hard to breathe.

Beside him, Kamui stirred, their mouth set in a small frown. They let out a soft groan, crimson eyes fluttering open.

"Zero?"

Zero didn't respond, trembling, trying to block out the distorted memories; a splash of blood, the feeling of cold, stone ground beneath his bare skin, a familiar man's body, vicious, stabbing pain in his eye -- no, no, stop.

Kamui sat up. They were used to this, of course, both of them. The two had nightmares so often this was almost routine.

Their hand rested on Zero's, so much smaller and softer, and Kamui entwined their fingers with his.

Kamui closed their eyes again, leaning their head on Zero's shoulder, murmuring quiet words.

As always, it gradually helped, and Zero closed his eye, still shivering, resting his head against Kamui’s, listening to the gentle ‘I love you’s and ‘we’re ok, we’re safe together’s.

Zero was glad he had Kamui.

He fell back onto the bed, keep his hand entangled with Kamui’s, and they lay down again beside him, wrapping their free arm around his hips.

Kamui planted a soft kiss on Zero’s jaw. Zero kissed the top of Kamui’s head, and his lips curved up into a smile.

“I love you.”

Kamui glanced up at that; not that it was unexpected of course, they couldn’t count how many times Zero told them that in a day if they tried. They smiled back.

“I love you, too.”