Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Taehyung unraveled his scarf before he entered the warm studio.

The cold still clung to his cheeks and his numb fingers, but he kind of liked the feeling. Winter reminded him that Christmas and his birthday were right around the corner. They were two very special days that Taehyung cherished the most out of the entire year.

And no, it wasn’t just for the presents.

“Manager hyung is taking me Christmas shopping,” he announced. “Do you want to come with me?”

The small bundled up figure sitting at the desk, that was currently warming its hands up with a cup of coffee, turned in its seat and shook its head.

“Nope. I can’t.”

Taehyung pouted and shuffled further inside.

“But Yoongi hyung, you’ve been locked up in here all day. Did you even get any of your shopping done yet? It’s only a week left until Christmas!”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, which was kind of difficult due to the over-sized scarf he was sporting.

“You said manager hyung was going with you, right? You don’t need me to tag along.”

But it would be nice if you did.

Taehyung sighed.

“Fine. I can’t have you seeing your present, anyway.”

Yoongi laughed at that, and Taehyung smiled softly to himself. He always mentally patted himself on the back for getting Yoongi to laugh. The older male was usually so indifferent to everyone else around him. The only time Taehyung truly saw Yoongi’s eyes light up was when he discussed music.

“I’m going now… oh yeah, Jin hyung said he left some dinner for you in the fridge.”

Yoongi nodded, already engrossed in the computer and clicking away.

Taehyung shook his head in exasperation and put back on his scarf. He walked out of the studio and the building, bracing himself against the cold wind that immediately slapped him in the face. Their manager was waiting in the car already, leisurely scrolling through his phone to pass the time.

Taehyung got in the car.

“Ready to go, Hyung!” he chirped, before reaching back to pull his seat belt across his lap.

The manager put his phone away and started up the car.

“Yoongi didn’t want to come?”

Taehyung’s smile wavered, but then it returned with full force.

“No. Too busy.”

The manager frowned. He turned on to the main road and started driving in the direction of the mall.

“That kid needs to get out more. I don’t know how his eyes survive from staring at the computer all day.”

Taehyung couldn’t agree more. It had become his mission in life to spend more time with Yoongi. He couldn’t even remember what they did the last time they hung out together, which was understandable since that was months ago.

What a lousy crush.

Taehyung shifted in his seat and nervously glanced at his manager, like he was afraid the man could read his mind.

Crush? Stop thinking like that, Taehyung.

He pinched his thighs and sat up straighter in his seat.

Every time those thoughts, those dangerous thoughts, entered his mind he pushed them out before they could fester. Before they made him turn to the nearest person and blurt out his feelings, after keeping them bottled away for so long.

He wasn’t just anyone.

He was an idol.

And idols aren't supposed to fall for one of their fellow members.

Idol’s weren’t supposed to fall for someone of the same sex.

Taehyung looked over at his manager again, studying the gentle angles of the man’s face. He always felt safe around the older male, and he never felt like he had to keep anything from him. Their manager constantly told them that they could always confide in him.

Maybe it would be ok… if he told him…

“Hyung--”

A blinding light approached the driver’s side of the car at top speed, making Taehyung gasp and close his eyes.

The car rocked with the impact of the hit. They were spinning out of control, and the sound of tires squealing against asphalt was loud in his ears.

Taehyung’s mind started to race through all of the important events in his life.

When his siblings were born...

When his family brought Soonshim home…

When he had to say goodbye, before leaving for Seoul…

When he met all of the members…

When Yoongi smiled at him for the first time...

When BTS finally debuted…

He jerked to the side because of the hard blow of the other vehicle, and he heard the sickening crack of his head hitting the window beside him.

The car finally came to a screeching halt.

Taehyung could hear his manager groaning in pain beside him.

And then everything faded to black.

~*~

“That’s it… take it easy… good… you’re doing an excellent job, Taehyung-ssi.”

Taehyung slowly opened his eyes and licked his dry lips.

Bright lights assaulted his vision, and for a second his heart beat quickened, thinking he was reliving the car accident again.

The man, in the white lab coat in front of him, glanced at the heart monitor beside the bed and returned his gentle gaze to Taehyung.

“Easy there. You’re safe. The accident is over.”

Taehyung rapidly blinked his eyes and tried to slow down his breathing. He rubbed his fingers against the soft cloth beneath him and soon realized he was laying on a bed. He looked up and took in his surroundings.

He was in a hospital.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to sit up, but his neck hurt when he put too much strain on it, and there was a tight feeling encasing his head.

“Save your energy,” the doctor said, gently placing a hand on the boy’s arm. “It seems you hit your head pretty hard against the car window. It’s a good thing you were wearing a seat belt.”

Taehyung felt disoriented.

He knew he was in a hospital and he knew a doctor was talking to him. He knew that he had been in some sort of accident, but whenever he tried to think about anything else a very sharp pain would stab at his mind and make him wince.

Also the doctor’s voice was making him nauseous. It kept going in and out, like static on a radio, and sometimes it would even sound like they were having a conversation underwater.

“Taehyung-ssi… can you hear me?” the doctor asked, noticing Taehyung’s puzzled expression.

Taehyung tried to nod, but whenever he moved it felt like someone was stabbing his neck with a fork.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to nod. Blink once for yes, and twice for no, ok? And try talking if you can, but don’t strain yourself. Do you understand?”

Taehyung blinked once.

“Good. Very good.”

The doctor started to do general tests on him. He checked his ears, eyes and mouth. He took his blood pressure and listened to his heart through a stethoscope.

The whole time Taehyung kept feeling like someone was missing from the room… like multiple people were missing from the room…

“Ok Taehyung-ssi, now we’re going to check your memory.”

“My… M-My mem..ory?” Taehyung croaked out, speaking for the first time.

The doctor smiled at the fact that he was talking now, and nodded.

“Yes, your memory. You’ve experienced a very traumatic head injury, so we need to make sure all of your memories are intact. Cases of amnesia are common in these types of situations.”

Taehyung clenched his fists and readied himself for the first question. The thought of having amnesia terrified him.

“When is your birthday?”

That question wasn’t too hard. The answer came to him immediately.

“December 30th… 1995.”

“Good job,” the doctor praised. He stared down at his clipboard and checked off something.

“Do you have any siblings?”

This question took a little longer to think about.

“Y-Yes? A… little brother and a little sister?”

The doctor smiled with a nod. “Correct. You’re doing a good job so far, Taehyung-ssi.”

Taehyung managed a smile of his own.

“Any pets?”

“A dog. Her name is Soonshim.”

“Family name?”

“Kim.”

“Blood type?”

“AB.”

“Hometown?”

“Daegu.”

“Where are we right now, Taehyung-ssi?”

Taehyung frowned. “A… a hospital?”

The doctor chuckled softly at that and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t phrase the question properly. I mean, what city are we in right now?”

Taehyung felt that pounding ache return. He shakily raised a hand to clutch his head, and was surprised to feel bandages there.

“For some reason… I keep thinking of Seoul,” he blurted.

The doctor nodded in encouragement. “Yes, Taehyung-ssi. We are currently in Seoul.”

Taehyung’s frown deepened. “But… why?”

A concerned expression passed over the doctor’s face. “You don’t remember?”

“I--”

“Sorry to interrupt.”

The both of them turned towards the door to see a nurse standing there.

“The other members are here, and they’re demanding to see the patient,” she announced.

Taehyung stared at her, mouth slightly agape.

Other… members?

What did she mean by that?

“Let them in,” the doctor said with a sigh. “It will probably help jog his memory.”

The nurse nodded before leaving the room. Taehyung was barely able to register why he might need his memory to be jogged, when six individuals entered the room. They all looked shocked and scared.

A few of them even looked like they’d been crying.

“Taehyung-ssi…” the doctor began slowly. “Do you remember Bangtan Sonyeondan?”

Taehyung stared at each and every face.

A light bulb went off in his head.

“My group!” he exclaimed, still sounding somewhat hoarse. “I’m an idol!”

Several sighs of relief could be heard through the room.

The doctor patted him on his hand. “Yes, that’s correct. You’ve lived with these boys for a few years now. That’s why you’re in Seoul.”

“R-right!”

Taehyung glanced at the teary eyed boys in front of him. He now understood why the room had felt wrong earlier. It was because they weren’t in it.

“Now, Taehyung-ssi, I want you to go down the line and tell me the name of each person. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” Taehyung answered without hesitation.

He started with the boy who had a long face.

“Hoseok… hyung?”

Hoseok exhaled and rubbed at his puffy eyes with a smile.

“I’m so glad you’re ok, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung smiled back at him. He quickly moved on to the next person. Staring at Hoseok for too long made him feel like he was going to cry too.

“Jiminie,” he called confidently.

The orange haired male gave him a thumbs up, and turned his head away when fresh tears welled up in his eyes.

Taehyung looked to the person with pink hair.

“Rapmon… hyung…”

“Namjoon hyung is fine,” the male said. His voice was deep and soothing.

Taehyung instantly remembered it.

“Joonie hyung,” he sniffled. He felt a sudden burden on his shoulders. He had caused more stress to their leader.

Namjoon smiled. “Everything is going to be ok, Taehyung-ah.”

And because Taehyung was hearing those words from him, he believed them.

His eyes jumped to the next person.

“Jungkookie… sorry for making you worry over me.”

Jungkook quickly shook his head and wiped at the tear that snuck out.

“Jin hyung…” Taehyung announced, easily recognizing the next person. “I’m hungry.”

Everyone managed a small laugh at that, their faces brightening despite the gloomy atmosphere.

“I’ll make your favorite when we get home,” Jin said with a smile, his handsome features glowing.

Taehyung’s gaze lowered to the shorter male beside Jin. He took in his pale complexion and bright green hair. He studied his dark eyes and the way he shuffled from one foot to the other, with his hands clasped behind his back.

Taehyung didn’t know this person.

“I’m sorry, I…”

The room grew stiff with silence. The doctor nervously glanced between the group of boys and Taehyung.

“Taehyung-ssi… do you remember who the last person is?”

Taehyung felt short of breath. He glanced at the other familiar faces and looked back at the shorter male, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. He was drawing a huge blank, and it scared him. He could tell he was hurting this person by not saying anything, it was written all over their face, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember.

“Don’t strain too much,” the doctor gently consoled him. “Answering this might help. Including yourself, how many members does BTS have?”

Taehyung stared down at his fingers.

He looked up.

“Six…?”

The one with the green hair walked out, slamming the door behind him.

“Yoongi hyung! Wait!” Jimin called after him. He broke away from the group and went to go chase after the older male.

Taehyung stared at the door with a sinking feeling in his chest.

So his name is… Yoongi?

“It seems that Taehyung-ssi has developed a mild case of amnesia,” the doctor announced, while scribbling something down on his clipboard.

“But how?” Namjoon spoke up. “Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to forget Jiminie? Since he was the last person to join the group? Why Yoongi hyung?”

The doctor took off his glasses and sighed. “There are many possibilities. It could be that his emotional connection with Yoongi-ssi wasn’t as strong, therefore causing him to forget only him. Another possibility could be that Taehyung is subconsciously forcing himself not to remember.”

Jin’s brows furrowed at that. “Why wouldn’t he want to remember?”

The doctor shook his head. “We couldn’t possibly know the answer to that, unless Taehyung-ssi were to regain his memories and tell us. But what we can do for now is get an MRI done. Make sure there is no further damage to his brain.”

“Manager hyung!” Taehyung suddenly yelled, causing everyone to flinch. “I was in the car with manager hyung!”

“And he’s ok,” the doctor assured him. “He received many injuries of his own, but surprisingly enough, he woke up before you. I think it might be due to the fact that his airbag went off while yours did not. We did all of the tests on him already, and all of his memories are intact.”

Taehyung’s heart returned to its normal pace.

“I’m glad.”

“When can we take him home?”

The doctor looked up at Hoseok.

“We’ll need to keep him here for a couple more days, just to monitor things and make sure he doesn’t go into shock. But i’m sure he’ll be home before Christmas.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Namjoon said sincerely.

As soon as the man left the room, the members crowded around Taehyung’s bed. They talked of how worried and scared they were. They wanted to hug him so badly, but his ribs were bruised, so they just settled for softly taking his hands and rubbing soothing circles into his palms.

They all tried to tell him random facts about Yoongi, hoping it would help him remember, but everything just left Taehyung feeling even more confused.

“He’ll remember when he’s ready,” Jin said.

And no one mentioned Yoongi again.

After a few hours, visiting time was over and they had to go back to the dorm. Taehyung told them goodbye with a heavy heart, not really feeling that excited about spending a night in a hospital by himself, and accepted the tablet Jungkook handed to him.

“Watch some of our videos on Youtube,” he suggested. “Maybe it will help you remember.”

Taehyung thanked him and waved as the members slowly trickled out of the room.

That night he watched all of their live performances, starting with when they first debuted. He could clearly see Yoongi standing among them, dancing and rapping all of his parts, but his face continued to evade Taehyung’s memories.

He remembered all of these performances, but he didn’t remember Yoongi being there.

Maybe I should sleep, he thought to himself.

Turning off the tablet, Taehyung carefully lowered his head to his pillow, and tried to ignore the headache that still pulsated in his skull.

Yoongi… who are you to me?

That was the last thing he thought, before falling into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

Taehyung woke up to the smell of eggs.

“I brought you breakfast.”

He opened his eyes and sleepily peered up at the person standing by his bedside.

It was Yoongi.

“Still don’t remember?”

Taehyung bit his lip and looked away.

“Thought so.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was such a minuscule thing to say in a situation like this. The words weren’t big enough for the heavy feeling that settled over the room.

“Eat your eggs… before they get cold.”

Taehyung silently watched as Yoongi pulled up the tray attached to his bed and placed the eggs, kimchi and rice on it. He wanted to protest and say he wasn’t hungry, but as soon as he opened his mouth his stomach grumbled really loud.

“Thank you for the food, Yoongi-ssi.”

Yoongi had been rummaging through the bag he bought, looking for napkins, but he paused when the words left Taehyung’s mouth.

“You don’t have to be so formal with me. ‘Hyung’ is fine,” he mumbled, before continuing his search for napkins.

Taehyung mentally punched himself for such a stupid slip up. Of course he shouldn’t be formal with Yoongi. He was supposed to know him, after all.

“Sorry.”

“And stop saying sorry.”

Yoongi finally found the napkins and placed them next to Taehyung’s plate.

“Now eat. You’re already skinny enough.”

“Sor-- Ok.”

Taehyung started eating.

The effort Yoongi put into acting like nothing was wrong, was commendable. Taehyung thought he deserved an award. The older male barely bat an eyelash when Taehyung said he didn’t remember something pertaining to him, or when their conversation grew stilted and awkward.

It felt like talking with a stranger… but it also didn’t, at the same time.

Taehyung was so confused.

“Were we close?”

For the first time, since Taehyung woke up, Yoongi’s expression changed.

“I’m not… I’m not sure.”

Taehyung pushed his empty plate to the side.

“You’re not sure? That doesn’t make any--”

“We didn’t exactly spend a lot of time together.”

Taehyung frowned. How could he live and be in a group with someone, but not spend a lot of time with them?

“Why not?”

Yoongi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes traveled over to the window and the numerous buildings that could be seen outside. The sun was bright, but it still wasn’t warm enough to battle the biting cold.

“I’m in the studio a lot, working on our music. I don’t… I never have the time to hang out much.”

Taehyung nodded his head slowly. “I understand. Making good music for the fans is important, right?”

Yoongi started to smile, but it fell as soon as he realized what he was doing.

His eyes snapped back to Taehyung, and the younger boy flinched under his intense stare.

“Right before the accident, you came by the studio.”

Taehyung blinked back at him. “I did?”

“You did. You asked me to go with you to the mall, to go Christmas shopping.”

Taehyung closed his eyes and tried to think hard.

Still nothing.

His shoulders slumped and he opened his eyes. “I don’t remember.”

Yoongi didn’t say anything. He picked up Taehyung’s empty paper plate and threw it in the garbage.

“I promise I’ll try really hard to remember, Yoongi-ss-- hyung!”

“They said that there’s a possibility of you not regaining your memories.”

Taehyung stared at Yoongi’s back. He didn’t miss his hand raising to rub at his face before he turned around with a cold and indifferent expression. Even though Taehyung couldn’t remember this person, he was quickly catching on to the fact that he often hid how he truly felt.

“Christmas is next week. I hope you get your memories back before then.”

Taehyung nervously pinched his thighs.

“Me too.”

~*~

For the next couple of days, Yoongi spent almost the entire day at the hospital with Taehyung. The other members visited too, but they had set schedules that they had to attend to. Yoongi was the only one who had plenty of time, because he usually devoted it to the studio.

Taehyung remembered what he said the first time he visited, and realized Yoongi was putting off time he could be using to work on music, to be with him instead.

It made him feel warm.

“What did you bring for me today?”

Every day Yoongi would bring food for Taehyung. When he asked why he was simply told, “because I know how much you love food” and it was honestly so interesting to be around someone who knew him this well, even though he himself couldn’t remember the person.

“Burger,” Yoongi answered. “Your favorite.”

Taehyung’s eyes brightened. “Ah! That’s right!”

Yoongi ruffled the brunette’s hair and placed the greasy bag in front of him.

“Dig in.”

That day they didn’t stay on any one topic for long. Their conversation jumped all over the place, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Taehyung was feeling the most relaxed he had ever felt around the older male, since he woke up from his accident, and he no longer considered him to be a complete stranger.

Calling him ‘hyung’ still felt kind of weird, but the more he said it, the more he got used to it.

“Hey Hyung, do you think we can finally go on that shopping trip together? I get to leave the hospital tomorrow.”

Yoongi didn’t have to think about it for too long. “Sounds like a plan… are you sure you’ll be ok in a car again?”

Taehyung hadn’t even thought about that.

“Y-Yes.”

Yoongi frowned. He reached out a hand and gently placed it over Taehyung’s trembling fingers.

“Don’t push yourself, Taehyung-ah. We don’t have to go.”

Taehyung looked up at him and nodded. He turned his hand palm up, and let his fingers lace together with Yoongi’s cold ones. His mind was plagued with so many questions.

How could he let himself forget such a person?

Someone so kind?

Someone who knew him so well?

Why… did he forget him?

“I want to go,” he said firmly. “I want to get everyone’s presents.”

Yoongi smiled.

“Alright.”

~*~

There were five days left until Christmas, and Taehyung was finally back at home.

Everything was exactly as he remembered it.

But he still had no memories of Yoongi.

“Ready to go?” Yoongi asked, walking into the living room. He was wearing a big fluffy scarf and a black coat. He handed a scarf to Taehyung as well, but it was plaid and not as big.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Taehyung answered. He stood up from the couch and secured the beanie on his head. He was wearing it to hide the bandages still wrapped around his skull. “I hope I can remember everything I was going to buy.”

They decided on taking the subway train instead of a car, and Taehyung was grateful to Yoongi for suggesting it.

The mall was busy when they got there, despite it being so early in the morning, and Taehyung and Yoongi still ended up bumping into a few people who recognized them, even though they were wearing masks. The accident hadn’t made it unto the news yet, so they were doing pretty good for now.

“Oh look, lamb skewers!” Taehyung exclaimed, pointing to the booth that held the mouth-watering kebabs. “Can you please buy me one, Yoongi hyung?”

“Didn’t you eat before we left?” Yoongi asked, while looking at the dressed up mannequins in the store window beside them.

“But you always buy for Jungkookie, why can’t you buy for me too?”

“Tae--”

Yoongi froze.

He spun around on his heels and grabbed Taehyung’s arms, startling him.

“How do you know that? Did I mention it to you?”

Taehyung thought back on the last few days they spent together.

“Um… no?”

“Then that means you remembered something, Taehyung-ah!”

Taehyung’s jaw dropped. “I did?”

Yoongi nodded with a genuine smile that showed. Even though his mask covered his mouth, his eyes were little crescents of pure happiness. It was the first time Taehyung had seen him look so lively.

“I did! I remembered something!” Taehyung cheered excitedly. He didn’t care that they were getting strange looks from people walking by and the guy selling the lamb skewers. “I remembered something about you!”

Yoongi let out a breathless laugh, one that made Taehyung’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest.

Why did no one else make him feel this way?

“Do you remember anything else?” Yoongi asked eagerly.

Taehyung’s smile faded. “I… I umm… I’m sorry, Hyung, I--”

“It’s ok,” Yoongi said quickly. The twinkle in his eyes dimmed, but he still looked pleased, and that’s all that mattered to Taehyung. He hated disappointing him. “You remembered something, and that’s better than nothing, right? I’m proud of you.”

Taehyung was beaming again.

Yoongi’s gloved hands ran up and down his arms before letting him go.

“Let’s finish shopping.”

Taehyung got all of his gifts that day, even one for Yoongi.

He couldn’t remember if it was the one he was originally going to get him, before the accident, but when he spotted it in the store something just wouldn’t let him leave it. It’s like his subconscious was telling him, ‘that’s the one! that’s the gift!’.

He also got lamb skewers from Yoongi.

They were delicious.

Chapter Text

There were only two days left until Christmas.

Taehyung kept himself busy in that time. He couldn’t practice with the others, because of his head injury, so he found other little things to do around the house. He helped Namjoon put up a Christmas tree (they should have had it up since December started but no one had the time) and even got around to wrapping all of the presents he bought for the other members.

Possessed by the Christmas spirit, he also attempted making eggnog (with Jin’s help of course). Taehyung’s batch had too much cinnamon, but Jin’s came out perfect. They decided to save it for Christmas eve and enjoy it with everyone.

Before the accident, whenever Taehyung had free time, he used to just watch tv or play video games. Now that he had come so close to losing his life, he wanted to experience more. He was grateful for the fact that he would live to celebrate another Christmas and birthday.

“Look Jiminie, Santa Claus!”

Taehyung and Jimin were currently walking along the Han river. Taehyung had dragged Jimin out of bed that morning in pursuit of an adventure. He shouldn’t have been moving around much, seeing as his ribs were still tender, but he couldn’t sit still anymore. All of the other members had schedules for the day. Him and Jimin were the only ones free.

Jimin looked to the suspiciously skinny looking Santa that Taehyung had pointed out to him. The man was taking pictures with tourists, posing in front of the Han river. A Christmas hat was turned upside down in front of him, in order to accept any tips people were generous enough to give.

“Do you want a picture with him, TaeTae?”

Jimin didn’t believe in Santa. Even from when he was young, he always knew Santa wasn’t real.

Taehyung, on the other hand, embraced every myth Christmas had to offer, like it was candy.

Jimin could never figure out if Taehyung was just pretending, or if he genuinely still believed in the magic behind Santa Claus. Whatever the case, Jimin wanted to indulge his friend this time. The accident made him think about a lot, and he found himself appreciating happy moments like this with Taehyung a lot more now.

“No, It’s ok,” Taehyung politely declined. “He seems really busy.”

Jimin glanced at the skinny Santa again. The line to take a picture with him was steadily growing. It was funny how eager people were to jump into something Christmas related, even if it looked unofficial and cheap.

“We should probably head back to the dorm now,” Jimin suggested. “You aren’t supposed to be walking around for long periods of time, remember?”

Taehyung pouted and kicked at a random leaf by his foot.

“Just a little bit longer, Jiminie.”

Jimin looked like he wanted to argue, but then Taehyung turned to him and flashed his puppy dog gaze right at him. “Fine. Twenty more minutes.”

“Yay!” Taehyung cheered with a giggle.

Jimin couldn’t help smiling. It was in these moments, when Taehyung looked so happy and full of life, that he was glad to still have his best friend. The day of the accident was scary for all of the members. Jimin can’t remember much after they received the news, but he does remember getting into the back of the car as they all left for the hospital. Yoongi was sitting next to him, and even though all of the other members were crying or voicing their concerns, the two of them were as quiet as the dead.

“Taehyung-ah…”

He barely murmured his name, but Taehyung heard him. He stopped walking long enough to look back at Jimin. His best friend’s eyes were glazed over with tears.

Taehyung immediately ran back over to him. He took Jimin’s hands in his and bent down to stare at his face properly.

“Jiminie?! Jiminie, what’s wrong?! Why are you crying?!”

Jimin used to scowl at how loud Taehyung could be. Before the accident he would have pushed the younger away from his face and tell him to stop yelling, all while Taehyung laughed obnoxiously at his discomfort.

Now, Jimin was so thankfully that Taehyung was still around to yell.

“Nothing’s wrong, TaeTae,” Jimin whispered. “I’m just really glad you’re my best friend.”

Taehyung’s face softened as understanding reached his eyes. He broke out into a wide grin and slung his arm over Jimin’s shoulder.

“I love you too, Jiminie!”

Jimin knew he meant it.

~*~

When they got back to the dorm, it was still empty.

Taehyung plopped onto the couch and let all of his bones and muscles relax into the soft cushion.

Jimin gave him an ‘I told you so’ look, before heading to the kitchen to see what they could make for lunch. Even though Jin bought complicated ingredients for his experimentory dishes, he still bought simple items every shopping trip, just to make sure the members weren’t completely helpless when he wasn’t there.

“How does Bulgogi sound, Taehyung-ah?!” Jimin called to the living room.

A grunt of agreement was enough confirmation for him.

They ate on the couch, something they weren’t allowed to do when the older members were there, and enjoyed each other’s company while the T.V played in the background. This day was turning out to be one of Taehyung’s favorites. He couldn’t remember the last time they relaxed for an entire day together.

Speaking of memory…

“Jiminie… What was my relationship with Yoongi hyung like, before the accident?”

Jimin finished chewing what was in his mouth, a pensive expression on his face, as he thought over Taehyung’s question.

“You two were… interesting, I guess.”

Taehyung quirked his head to the side. “Interesting?”

“Yeah. You two might as well be complete opposites. I can still remember how tense it used to be between the both of you at first. I mean, I joined the group after you so by the time I met you guys your relationship with Yoongi hyung was a little bit better, but it was still kind of awkward.”

Taehyung frowned. “How is that interesting?”

Jimin smiled. “Well, one day, you two just clicked. You understood each other better, and even though Yoongi hyung still got annoyed by some of the stuff you did, he was never truly mad. He looked out for you a lot, too. Yoongi hyung is protective of all of us, but with you it always felt different.”

Taehyung tried to digest Jimin’s words. How could he have such a profound past with someone and forget them so easily?

“I want to remember him,” he said sadly, his appetite for the rest of his bulgogi now gone.

Jimin gave him a reassuring pat on his thigh. “I know you do, and you will.”

Taehyung looked up at him with disheartened eyes. “How are you so sure?”

Jimin shrugged.

“I don’t know I just… before the accident, I could tell how much you cared about him.”

And Taehyung wondered what that soft, knowing smile on Jimin’s face meant.

~*~

It was Christmas eve.

Thanks to Taehyung, the dorm was looking extremely festive. Only Namjoon and Hoseok had a schedule for the day, so everyone else enjoyed the day off. Taehyung and Jungkook sat beneath the Christmas tree, grabbing all of the presents with their names on it, and shaking them. They were trying to guess what they got before the big day.

That’s how Yoongi found them when he finally emerged from his deep slumber.

He took one look at them and mumbled something about ‘impatient kids’ before shuffling off to the kitchen in search of breakfast.

Taehyung and Jungkook giggled at the look on their hyung’s face.

“Have you remembered anything so far?” Jungkook asked curiously. He reached for a particularly large box and shook it.

Taehyung sighed. “Only one thing… but that’s still good, right?”

The maknae nodded. “Yeah, It means there’s still a chance of you getting all of your memories back. That’s awesome, Hyung.” He reached for a small box that looked like it could only fit jewelry. He rolled his eyes when he saw ‘To: my sweet Kookie, Love: Your dearest Jimin Hyung’.

Taehyung wanted to smile, but he still felt somber. “I keep wondering what will happen if I don’t remember anything else. Do you think… Yoongi hyung will hate me?”

Jungkook turned away from the gifts to stare directly into Taehyung’s eyes.

“You really have forgotten everything about Yoongi hyung, haven’t you? He could never hate you.”

Taehyung didn’t understand how Jungkook could be so convinced.

Jimin had been the same way too.

Did everyone know something he didn’t?

~*~

Taehyung woke up on Christmas day with a burdened heart.

He felt like he failed Yoongi.

He thought he would have his memories back by now, but there was still that annoying, blank space in his head. All he had of Yoongi were the new memories they had made in the past few days. Taehyung felt like it paled in comparison to what he should have had with the older male.

Jimin had made it seem like Taehyung and Yoongi used to have an unshakable bond, and Taehyung couldn’t help wanting that again.

But his stubborn brain had other plans.

Why can’t I remember?

Is this how it’s going to be from now on?

Taehyung nestled further into his blankets. It was pretty chilly in the room. He stared up at the underside of Jimin’s bed and tried to clear his mind of everything but Yoongi. A miracle was always possible. He wouldn’t give up hope so easily.

“Taehyung-ah.”

I can hear him so clearly, Taehyung thought. Is this a memory?

“Tae, are you awake?”

Taehyung felt his bed dip as someone knelt on it.

He turned to his right and was surprised to see Yoongi using both hands to lean on the top bunk while resting his knee on Taehyung’s bottom bunk. He was snugly dressed from head to toe and Taehyung had to blink a couple of times to make sure he was real.

Ah, so it wasn’t a memory…

“Everyone else is up already,” Yoongi informed him, an amused smile on his face. “Didn’t you realize?”

Taehyung glanced over at Hoseok’s single bed, noting the neatly made up sheets with no one in them. He pricked his ears and realized he couldn’t hear Jimin’s soft breathing above him. He really was alone in the room.

He frowned.

Did everyone open presents without him?

“What time is it?” he asked, slowly getting up and ruffling his bed head.

Yoongi took a step back to give him room to stand up.

“A little after six in the morning.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “Why is everyone up at six in the morning?!”

Usually, on their days off, the members would sleep in for as long as possible. Sure, it was Christmas, but that didn’t mean they weren’t completely drained from all of the schedules they were constantly put on.

Yoongi shoved his hands into his coat pocket and tried to keep his smile from widening.

“There’s a surprise outside that I want to show you. And don’t worry, we didn’t open presents without you.”

Taehyung blushed at the fact that Yoongi read his concerns so easily. He didn’t know what the heck was going on, but he trusted Yoongi enough to start getting ready.

Yoongi patiently waited for him to redress the bandages around his head and ribs, take his pain killers and put on some warm clothing for outside.

“Ready!”

Taehyung got startled when Yoongi grabbed his hand and led him to the front door. He tried to calm the hard thumping in his chest when the pale male reached up to properly fix his lopsided beanie and scarf for him.

“Since it’s a surprise, I want you to close your eyes,” Yoongi instructed. “No peeking, ok?”

Taehyung openly stared at Yoongi for a few seconds, trying to decipher what the surprise might be. The house was so silent you could hear a pin drop, so he suspected that whatever the surprise was, the other members were there too.

“Taehyung-ah, your eyes…” Yoongi urged impatiently.

Taehyung giggled and finally shut them. His hand blindly reached out to hold Yoongi’s again, and he sighed when he felt the weight of it in his grasp.

He could hear the front door being unlocked and pushed open. A blast of cold air immediately slapped him in the face, and he grimaced. An insignificantly small memory tickled at the edge of his vision. One in which he was walking out of the studio after meeting someone, and a car… a car holding his manager was waiting outside for him…

Before Taehyung could hold on to the memory, Yoongi was letting his hand go, making him panic slightly.

“Hyung--”

“It’s ok. I’m right here.”

Taehyung didn’t know if he shivered because of the cold, or Yoongi’s warm breath in his ear.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Taehyung opened his eyes and saw white.

The entire world was blanketed in a shimmery, soft glow of pure white. The trees and rooftops were layered with the stuff. The sun peeking up just over the horizon stained the white in hues of orange and pink.

Taehyung felt all of his breath escape him at once.

“The first snow,” he whispered, as if talking too loud would disturb the tranquility of it all.

Yoongi came around to face him. His porcelain cheeks and nose were cherry red. The smile he had been fighting since waking up Tae was now out with full force. The corners of his eyes were crinkled up in that way that made Taehyung’s heart do back-flips.

How could I forget someone so beautiful?

“Merry Christmas, Tae.”

Taehyung’s vision was beginning to blur. It was getting harder for him to see the pretty snow. He could barely make out the other members playing in the distance and rolling around in the snow. Their laughter rang loud and clear in the early morning.

“I know you haven’t gotten your memories of me back yet,” Yoongi continued “And maybe… you never will. But I want you to know that I don’t care about all of that.”

Taehyung let his tears slide down his face and warm his cheeks.

He didn’t deserve a hyung like Yoongi.

“All that matters to me is that you’re alive and well. We can make new memories together.”

The sun finally finished its ascent.

Taehyung rubbed at his cheeks before his tears froze to his face.

“I love you, Yoongi hyung.”

Something changed in Yoongi’s eyes. His gaze shifted to the ground as he shuffled his feet and bit his bottom lip.

“I love you too, Tae.”

Suddenly, a sharp pain struck Taehyung’s mind, making him double over with the force of it.

Yoongi immediately grabbed his shoulders. “Taehyung-ah? Are you ok? Do you want to go back inside?”

Taehyung tried to answer him, but he felt like he couldn’t breath. He clutched at his chest and knelt into the snow. The sun felt too blinding, and he slammed his eyes shut. He could hear Yoongi calling for him and rubbing his mittens across Taehyung’s cheeks to get him to open his eyes, but all of that faded into the background.

Taehyung was remembering something…

“Hyung, wait for me!”

Taehyung reached out to grab the back of Yoongi’s coat. The other members had already ran ahead to go play in the snow, and he wanted to join them. But there was a lot of frozen water on the ground, and the shoes he decided to wear didn’t have good traction on them. He couldn’t walk without someone’s help.

“I told you not to wear those shoes,” Yoongi scolded. He turned back around to help Taehyung, but in the process they both tumbled to the ground.

They were a tangle of limbs and scarfs.

“Shit, Taehyung get off! You’re heavier than you look!”

“Hyung, that’s mean!”

In the end, they gave up. Yoongi laid in the snow and just stared past Taehyung, taking in the morning sky. He was almost content with freezing to death right there, but then Taehyung’s large head invaded his line of sight.

“So you’re not even going to try?”

Yoongi shrugged. “You gave up first.”

Taehyung sighed and shifted until his elbows were situated on either side of Yoongi’s head. The two of them could vaguely hear the other members yelling lewd things in their direction, but they ignored them.

Some friends they were, to just tease them instead of helping.

“Why do we put up with them?” Yoongi grumbled.

Taehyung giggled. A snowflake floated down and landed directly on his eyelash. Yoongi couldn’t stop staring at it.

“Because we love them?”

“They seriously make me doubt that sometimes.”

Taehyung brushed away a few flakes that had gathered on Yoongi’s cheek. He’d never seen Yoongi’s face so flushed before, and he wondered if it was because of the cold and the fall.

“We should try to get up now.”

“I’m in no hurry.”

“Hyung, we’re going to get frostbite.”

Sometimes Yoongi reminded Taehyung of a little kid. He could be so stubborn when he wanted to be.

The two of them continued to stare down at each other, just staring into the other’s eyes, and Taehyung wondered what this feeling that was stirring up in his chest was. It made his breath hitch in his throat when Yoongi’s gaze flickered down to his lips for a split second. If Taehyung blinked he would have missed it.

“Are you guys just going to reenact a drama all day, or are you actually going to get up and join us?”

They both looked up to see Jin standing over them, with a smirk on his handsome face.

Yoongi grunted and finally used his remaining energy to push Taehyung off of him.

The boy toppled over and into the snow, looking like a fish out of water as he struggled to stand up on his own. Jin took pity on him and grabbed his hand, using his surprising arm strength to hoist Taehyung up.

He grabbed the younger around the waist to steady him, and they both watched as Yoongi grumbled his way towards the others.

“We weren’t reenacting a drama,” he was muttering.

Jin grinned. “Oh yeah?! Than why are you blushing?!”

Yoongi threw up a middle finger in his direction.

Jin shook his head in amusement and returned his attention to helping Taehyung across the snow. Now that they were reaching thicker parts of snow, it was getting easier for Taehyung to walk without slipping across the frozen ground.

“Thank you, Hyung.”

“No problem… oh and Taehyung-ah?”

Taehyung met his bright eyes. “Yes?”

“Your heart is racing.”

Taehyung blinked back at him. He didn’t know what to say, so he silently watched as Jin returned to the others. He could see Yoongi in the distance, laughing at Hoseok harassing Jimin with a barrage of snowballs.

Then it all clicked into place.

He was in love with Yoongi hyung.

“Taehyung-ah?! Taehyung! Shit, Namjoon, call manager hyung!”

“No, Hyung…” Taehyung groaned. He slowly got up. “I’m ok.”

When he opened his eyes, all of the members were standing over him, various looks of concern on their faces.

“Taehyung-ah?”

Yoongi’s face was right in front of him. Taehyung could count every eyelash on his lid if he wanted to.

“Yoongi hyung? Ugh… why am I on the ground? And hyung, why aren’t you wearing a beanie? Last time you didn’t protect your head you were sick for three weeks.”

Everyone looked at each other, surprise on their faces.

Yoongi’s eyes were as wide as they could possibly go.

“What?” Taehyung mumbled. “Was it something I said?”

Yoongi helped Taehyung up until he was standing in front of him.

“Taehyung-ah…what did we do together last month?”

Taehyung thought for a moment. He still felt kind of dizzy, but the memory came to him in the blink of an eye.

“We were in Japan and we went to Kumamon Square together. We were the only adults there and--”

Taehyung was cut off by a tight hug.

Yoongi made sure to steer clear of his ribs by keeping his hold around his shoulders only. He buried his face in Taehyung’s neck and let out a sound the younger had never heard him utter before.

“Hyung?”

“Taehyung-ah, you remember me.”

Now Taehyung’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

“I remember you… I remember everything, Yoongi hyung!”

The other members burst out in whoops and cheers. They clapped Taehyung on the back and ruffled his hair. Nothing but relief was shining in their eyes and Taehyung felt like he could start crying all over again.

“Let’s give them a moment,” Namjoon said. He gave everyone a ‘look’ and they instantly backed away, leaving Yoongi and Taehyung to continue holding each other.

“Hyung… are you crying?”

Yoongi shook his head, still keeping it buried in Taehyung’s skin.

Taehyung smiled and pulled Yoongi in closer. His ribs protested against it, but he didn’t care. He could feel the wetness of Yoongi’s tears against his neck, and he knew his hyung was just too embarrassed to admit it.

“Best Christmas present ever, huh?”

This time Yoongi nodded, a small sniffle causing his nose to crinkle up.

They stood like that, letting the snow fall down all around them, and Taehyung wondered if the limited edition Santa Kumamon plushie that he bought for Yoongi as a present was going to pale in comparison to this moment.

Meanwhile, Yoongi wondered if the one year, unlimited meal ticket for Burger King that he got for Taehyung would taste as good as finally getting his memories back.

“Hyung, there’s something I want to tell you…”

Yoongi finally pulled away from Taehyung to stare up at him. His eyes were rimmed red and his nose was running.

Taehyung thought he was cute.

“When I told you I love you, I meant it as--”

“I know.”

Taehyung licked his chapped lips. “Y-You know?

“I know… because I feel the same way.”

Taehyung always thought that he would have to be the first one to kiss Yoongi, if he ever got around to confessing his feelings, but it was the other way around.

Yoongi cupped the back of his neck and pulled him down to his height. His thumb caressed Taehyung’s cheek before leading him, until their mouths met in a light kiss. They pulled away for a moment, only to return to each other again, kissing harder. Taehyung didn’t know it was possible to feel so warm in the cold.

He tucked his gloved hands underneath Yoongi’s coat and stroked his sides, letting his hands memorize the planes of his stomach and angle of his hips.

Yoongi nibbled on his bottom lip and sucked it between his teeth, causing Taehyung to let out a startled gasp. He never felt a kiss like this before. He peeked his eyes open to see Yoongi squeezing his shut, rosy cheeks turning even brighter in the sunlight.

“Fuck… Tae…”

“Later,” Taehyung replied cheekily.

Yoongi bit his lip harder for that, and Taehyung couldn’t help laughing into the older male’s mouth.

“Are you guys done devouring each other's faces?!” Hoseok screamed from across the snow. “We’re about to have a snowball war and you’re in the way!”

Taehyung’s neck and face flushed in embarrassment.  

“Will your head be ok if we play too?” Yoongi asked, leaning back to gently trail his fingers along Taehyung’s bandages. The boy’s beanie had fallen into the snow when he fell to his knees earlier.

“I’ll be ok. Besides, I have you to protect me, right hyung?”

Yoongi looked away and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. The blush on his cheeks was now spreading to his ears.

“Are you guys playing or what?!” Jimin called.

“We’re coming!” Taehyung called back.

We, he thought blissfully, grabbing Yoongi’s hand and leading him towards their friends.

Taehyung could get used to that word.