Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Xiao: How can you command water without a Vision?

Rain: Why should my Hydromancy depend on the ability to see?

Rain: I can drown whole cities!

Xiao: Then you're weaker than most gods I know.

Reiko: What wars have you fought in?

Xiao: The Archon wars for starters.

Xiao: I respect your loyalty to Shao, even if it is misguided.

Reiko: You will not talk ill of the general!

Reiko: I've tamed Onaga! Taming you will be child's play.

Xiao: Onaga's nothing next to Azhdaha.

Omniman: The Immortal couldn't stop me. What good will you be?

Xiao: I've slain countless gods. I'll find a way.

Omniman: Devote your service to me, Xiao.

Xiao: I served a cruel god once. Never again.

Omniman: Once I'm done here, I'll come for Teyvat next.

Xiao: What makes you think you're walking away from this alive?

Xiao: Warriors like us don't need to waste time talking.

Omniman: On that, we agree.

Xiao: Your conquest ends today.

Ommiman: No. It's only just begun.

Xiao: Listen to my heartbeat. Do you hear any fear?

Omniman: None. You're either brave or ****ing foolish.

Homelander: You can't take me, little man.

Xiao: I'm a little man? Then you're a mewling child.

Xiao: You're worthless!

Homelander: Sticks and stones, munchkin.

Xiao: Your mind is corrupted with evil. I'm putting you down. Permanently.

Homelander: *Laughs* Oh, wait. You're serious?

Homelander: Worship your new god.

Xiao: I've seen gods. You are no god.

Xiao: You're the Pyro Archon of this world?

Lu Kang: Fire God. Not an archon.

Lu Kang: Earthrealm requires you, Adeptus Xiao. Will you serve it?

Xiao: I protect people. Teyvat or Earthrealm-it makes no difference.

Xiao: You remind me of a girl who runs a funeral parlor.

Johnny: What? Am I really that morbid?

Xiao: You're troublesome. But lively.

Johnny: Um… thanks?

Johnny: So, do they have movie stars in your world?

Xiao: Yes, actually, in Fontaine.

Xiao: I deal in death—if you cannot bring yourself to kill, call my name.

Johnny: Whoa, whoa, I'm getting major goth vibes off you, dude.

Shang: I could cure your illness.

Xiao: Keep that forked tongue in your lying mouth.

Shang: You'll prove an intriguing specimen for my research.

Xiao: I won't be your lab rat! Neither will anyone else!

Xiao: You're sicker than the demons I've fought.

Shang: I'll take that as a compliment.

Xiao: You're almost as twisted as Dottore. The way you treat lives is…

Shang: All for the sake of progress.

Nitara: How did you slaughter a whole army of my people?!

Xiao: With my spear.

Xiao: The people of this world are under my protection.

Nitara: Then I'll kill you before I eat them.

Xiao: once the snow is thick enough, we can eat it.

Subzero: My Cryomancy is not for snow cones!

Subzero: I'll freeze you alive!

Xiao: Your cold's lukewarm compared to Dragonspire.

Xiao: For the last time, I don't take students.

Smoke: Give me a chance, sir. I'm worthy.

Xiao: …fine. Impress me, and I'll consider it.

Smoke: One impressed Adeptus, coming right up.

Smoke: So? Will you take me on as a pupil?

Xiao: I'll admit. There's quality here.

Xiao: Why do you sound like Dainsleff? Are you from Khaenri'ah too?

Smoke: Never heard of it or him.

Xiao: You've killed your last victim.

Ghostface: Nah, I've got another sequel in the works.

Xiao: Coward! You hide behind a mask!

Ghostface: How's that any different than what you do?

Ghostface: Broody Emoes are so cliche.

Xiao: Cease your drivel, monster.

Ghostface: We're the same, you and I. We're both killers!

Xiao: I don't kill for the thrill of it!

Xiao: Your illness… I have something similar.

Baraka: It never gets easier, does it?

Baraka: If the tarkata takes my mind, please…

Xiao: I'll end you, Baraka. I trust you'll do the same for me.

Noob Saibot: How can so much death surround one person?

Xiao: Shut up and hit me.

Xiao: You betrayed your clan—your family!

Noob Saibot: Better to cut off an infection than let it fester.

Shao: If you're a general, where are your soldiers?

Xiao: I don't need them to handle you.

Xiao: What kind of general betrays his country?!

Shao: One who knows what will make it stronger.

Shao: Kneel and join my army, or I'll tear out your throat.

Xiao: Just try it.

Spawn: You've got a body count higher than mine.

Xiao: Something I'm not proud of.

Spawn: You're a general?

Xiao: Was. There aren't many Adeptus left.

Xiao: This Malbosia must be dispersed.

Spawn: Are you suggesting a team-up? Prove you can fight, general.

Ermac: The souls of the dead cling to your flesh!

Xiao: They always will, I suspect.

Xiao: Those souls don't belong to you.

Ermac: We will never return them!

Ermac: Your soul will join our collection.

Xiao: I'll exorcise you like any other demon.

Xiao: Don't worry, Jerrod. I'll free you soon.

Ermac: You will not undo us!

Ermac: We are many. You are one.

Xiao: This "one" slaughters souls every day.

Reptile: Is it true you can transform into a bird?

Xiao: That's hardly special in my world.

Sindel: I could use a general like you.

Xiao: Sorry, Your Highness. I only serve Morax.

Sindel: General Shao must be punished for his treachery.

Xiao: Justice will find him. Or, I will.

Xiao: If Mileena asked you, would you kill her?

Sindel: Preposterous! How dare you pose such a question?!

Xiao: Stay out of my way. Or all that awaits you is death.

Sindel: *laughs* is that a threat or a warning?

Xiao: That lightning…did the Gods gift it to you?

Raiden: For the sake of Earthrealm, yes.

Raiden: Can people in your world also control electricity with an amulet?

Xiao: Only if the gods recognize their wish.

Xiao: I can't teach you. It's not safe.

Raiden: I assure you that I can take it.

Xiao: So, there are ninjas in this world, too.

Scorpion: You may have faced ninjas before, but not Lin Kuei.

Scorpion: Get over here! Identify yourself at once!

Xiao: Get out of my way!

Xiao: You control fire without a Vision. Explain.

Scorpion: I don't need sight to burn you alive.

Xiao: Mileena is fortunate to have a friend in you.

Tanya: Friend? I'm her shield. It's my honor to serve her.

Tanya: Whom do you serve?

Xiao: Rex Lapis and Liyue.

Xiao: Would you kill Mileena if she ordered you to?

Tanya: I…Yes, I would if she wished it.

Xiao: If the darkness takes you, it will be up to me.

Ashrah: My soul shall not waver from the light.

Ashrah: Conqueror of Demons, am I your next target?

Xiao: Only if you endanger innocents.

Peacemaker: You're a little short to be threatening, dude.

Xiao: You judge a warrior by his size?

Xiao: This is not how you should work for peace.

Peacemaker: What should I do—ask everyone nicely?

Xiao: Your guns won't touch me.

Peacemaker: Pft, come on. You can't see bullets.

Xiao's Ending:

I conquered most of the demons in that camp, but the samachurls used the last of their power to open a portal that sent me here. This "Nether Realm" had no shortage of demons and monsters. Fine by me. My duty remains the same no matter the world I'm in.

I drove back a vampire invasion, defeated a nation of demons, and I met someone like me, afflicted with a horrible disease. My victories caught the attention of the Fire God. He asked me to protect Earth Realm from an invasion by taking part in this tournament of "Mortal Kombat." These warriors put up a tough fight, but in the end, I prevailed.

As thanks, the Fire God offered to fulfill three of my wishes. I didn't hesitate to make them. First, cure those afflicted with tarkata. They suffered enough. Second, return me to my world. I considered requesting him to revive my fallen comrades, but that would've been selfish. After all they've been through, they've earned their rest.

The karmic debt will eventually claim me. Until then, I'll keep making this world a better place. I want to make something that will outlive me when I'm gone. So, I used my final wish for my dearest friend.

(The End Picture shows Xiao watching over a reunion between Lumine and Aether.)

Chapter Text

Yujiro Hanma Baki

Yujiro: I hear your son's pretty tough too.

Omniman: He's invincible.

Omniman; You're the world's strongest creature? Consider me unimpressed.

Yujiro: Heh, big talk for a man in spandex.

Yujiro: Come on! Show me a good time!

Omniman: Okay, tough guy. I'll rip out your spine and feed it to you.

Omniman: I've destroyed worlds.

Yujiro: Finally, an opponent worth fighting!

Homelander: Seriously? Japan versus America? You know how WWII went, right?

Yujiro: My dad beat America. You're nothing special.

Yujiro: After this, you won't be able to show your face in public.

Homelander: Okie-dokie, gramps. Let's do this.

Yujiro: You've got insecurity written all over you.

Homelander: Oh, I am so going to enjoy lasering your face off.

Yujiro: You're a weakling who's never been in a real fight before.

Homelander: Yeah. Nothing in this world can challenge me.

Homelander: People are just water balloons with meat.

Yujiro: Even so, they've more right to live than you.

Yujiro: You don't fight to protect people or even to get stronger. You fight for your own image, prick.

Homelander: Please, the people adore me. I'm their god.

Shang Tsung: I will uncover the secret behind your strength.

Yujiro: How about a hands-on demonstration instead?

Yujiro: Ultimate power versus ultimate sorcery.

Shang Tsung: My sorcery is the ultimate power, you baboon.

Shang Tsung: I could use a henchman like you.

Yujiro: You couldn't afford me, bastard.

Johnny: That back thing you do is super gross, bro.

Yujiro: This coming from a failed actor.

Yujiro: Your fighting's as shitty as your movies.

Johnny: Ahem, Rotten Tomatoes would disagree with you on that.

Johnny: I got to know: did you seriously train until your balls fell off?

Yujiro: You're kind of funny, kid. You know that?

Yujiro: Heh, finally, someone with an ego bigger than mine.

Johnny: Hey, at least I'm not a dick to women. Usually.

Johnny: Ugh, and I thought Shao was toxic masculinity.

Yujiro: Oh, I'm the pinnacle of manhood, sport.

Yujiro: After that flubbed power play, you should be ashamed. If you were Japanese, you'd commit seppuku.

Subzero: You will regret mocking me!

Subzero: You're a cold-hearted bastard!

Yujiro: Look who's talking.

Baraka: Are you looking to die, earthrealmer?

Yujiro: Nah, just for a challenge.

Scorpion: You act like a brute, yet you performed the tea ceremony perfectly.

Yujiro: What can I say? I'm a man of the world.

Yujiro: Neat moves. It would be a shame if someone copied them.

Scorpion: Unlikely. It takes years to master the Lin Kuei techniques!

Yujiro: You've trained too much. I'll revive your instincts.

Reptile: I've trained to hone my killing instincts. Nothing needs reviving.

Reptile: People call me a monster, but what you did to those people…

Yujiro: We're both monsters, kid. I'm just not ashamed of it like you.

Raiden: You copied my technique just by looking at it.

Yujiro: And I'll never use it again.

Raiden: There's more to life than fighting.

Yujiro: Keep that bitch talk to yourself.

Raiden: You won't attack the temple!

Yujiro: Oh? You going to stop me, kid?

Ashra: Curious. I sense some goodness in your heart.

Yujiro: Good, evil, those don't matter. In the end, strength is everything.

Yujiro: Ever fought an ogre before?

Ashra: Don't get an inflated ego, human.

Li Mei: You're under arrest, Yujiro.

Yujiro: Then arrest me, if you can.

Li Mei: You've no respect for the law.

Yujiro: Why should I? Laws only apply to the weak.

Yujiro: Mercy's a word for the weak.

Shao: On that, we can agree.

Shao: Steel sharpens steel. We are evenly matched.

Yujiro: A warrior shouldn't take his quotes from the Bible, kid.

Yujiro: I hope those muscles aren't just for show.

Shao: Fight me, and you'll find out.

Yujiro: I've come to collect you.

Sindel: You presume to collect a queen? You'll pay for this disrespect.

Sindel: You're a pig! A brute! The way you treat those beneath you is…

Yujiro: No different from how you treat your slaves. Face it. The strong are meant to rule the weak.

Kang: You could benefit from some kindness.

Yujiro: I don't have time for weaklings.

Yujiro: I've never killed a god before.

Kang: And you never will.

Kang: You have chosen war with a god.

Yujiro: And I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

Smoke: That crazy hair makes you look like a hedgehog.

Yujiro: Quit babbling. Show me how warriors in the shadows fight.

Smoke: So, did you ever find that fourth damn Chaos Emerald?

Yujiro: The hell are you talking about now?

Peacemaker: You're an obstacle to peace!

Yujiro: Peace? Why would you fight for something so boring?

Peacemaker: Seriously? You can get stronger by doing it a lot?

Yujiro: If you want to get strong, forget celibacy.

Yujiro Ending

Got a tip that I could find a strong warrior in this temple. Instead, I ended up walking through a portal that brought me here. A world of gods who use petty tricks, and cowards who rely on weapons. But damn, the bastards they grow here can put up a fight. I haven't felt so alive in years.

I took them all down: Reiko, Shao, Shang Tsung, and just about every other clown in this place. I'm not finished, no. Not by a long shot. This world has so many warriors—it's like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Turns out, I ended up killing some big names. Now, I've got people trying to hire me as a mercenary.

It didn't take long for Eternia's Queen and a Fire God to make their own offers. They promised wealth, power, and an eternity of combat. They promised to show me to some punk called Onaga—the strongest warrior in the Realms. Sounds fun. Think I'll play along a while. After this Onaga guy's down, I'll try my luck on that God.

So, what's next? Suppose I'll bring Baki here. It'll be decent training for him. A few years here and who knows? Maybe he'll give me the fight I'm looking for. But probably not. Nobody in all the timelines can beat me.