Chapter Text
Thame left for Korea.
Po hears about it when he gets to the building the next morning. It’s strange, a part of him had hoped that knowing someone still visited the house, that someone still cared, would change Thame’s mind. That it would make him stay and fix things, but Po guesses Thame’s selflessness runs much deeper than he thought.
Things go on as if nothing was different, as if a member wasn’t missing from the group. It’s unsettling, even though he still barely knows Thame, to be here without him; to see MARS without him. Even with the separation and animosity, seeing MARS without their leader leaves a sour taste in his mouth.
There’s the other thing as well, the thing he can’t explain. He can’t get Thame’s crying out of his mind. Nevermind that he still has the clip saved and has watched it several times. He feels so bad for Thame, for judging him, and he really wanted to help him when he told him about the house. He’d looked so broken, in so much pain and alone. Po feels so bad for him. So, when he thinks of Thame, alone with Mick in Korea, he worries. Is he doing ok? Is he eating well and sleeping enough? Po wishes he had a way to contact Thame and check on him.
He can’t explain why, but Po has a bad feeling.
.
His absence is felt, no matter how much the rest pretend it isn’t.
Po follows MARS as they go through their day-to-day schedule which is mostly dance practice and some individual schedules. Po records their individual interviews as well, just as scripted as Thame’s originally was, and just as lacking of true emotion and honesty. He doesn’t call them out as he did Thame though. Why? Well, he’s not sure. Maybe because, even knowing Thame’s side, he still sympathises with them, with the ones being left. Maybe, though, it's just that they are not Thame, and it doesn’t feel the same.
The more time he spends with them, though, the more he thinks there’s a lot missing from the story Thame told him. The guys act normal, or as normal as he has seen so far when Thame is not around, happy, even playful with each other. But it’s that, an act. He can see the cracks in the facade.
They miss Thame, no matter how mad at him they seem to be. He doesn’t think they realise what they are doing, or at least they are pretending they don’t. It’s in the way Nano looks back sometimes when they’re all gathered together, eyes shining, as if he’s about to call out to someone before his face falls and turns back around. It’s in Dylan, raising his head from the notebook he’s writing on, eyes looking around before they drop back to the page, frowning. It’s in Jun raising his arm as if to wrap it around someone at the end of the day, only to drop it, just like the smirk on his face does. It’s in Pepper, when the rest get too much, looking around for someone else’s calming presence, and shoulders dropping when he doesn’t find it.
Po wants to ask them for their side of the story. Clearly there’s one, or more, other than Thame’s. He just doesn’t know how to approach the subject. As much as he wants to help Thame, ease some of that guilt, Po doesn’t know where to start, or even if he should. Thame could have asked for his help, but instead he left. But does that mean Po shouldn’t help? It feels like the opposite. Thame may not ask, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it.
Thame’s been selfless for so long, putting his wants before everyone else's. It’s time someone is selfish on his behalf and puts him first.
.
Squeaks resonate around the room.
MARS has been practicing for a few hours, repeating the same routines over and over again. Po has filmed enough already but decides to stay around in case he catches some interactions worthy of making the cut. Every once in a while, the guys will goof around, momentarily forgetting the unspoken uneasiness that follows them around.
The choreographer called for a break before leaving the room, trusting the group alone with Po, but Nano is still moving, as if he has not yet committed to memory the moves. Po knows he has, he just loves to dance. The rest are resting, drinking water as they sit on the floor against the wall, - Dylan -, or sitting on the sole couch in the small practice room, - Jun and Pepper.
Po is checking the footage he has shot, just in case he needs to retake, when he catches Tae on the doorway out of the corner of his eye. When he turns, Tae is coming in, and Ming appears behind him but stays lingering by the door. Chills run through Po’s body. There is a somber look in both of them. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.
Tae makes his way to him, and once he is close enough, says in a low voice, “can you come out for a moment?”
With a nod, Po goes to follow, his own face twisting in a worried frown. Tae quickly glances around the room as they walk towards the door, but Po catches it, and he knows the others do too when Jun’s voice sounds from behind him, “hey, what’s going on?”
Tae stops almost at the door, shifting nervously from one foot to the other, “nothing, don’t worry about it.”
Po would scoff from how unconvincing that was if he wasn’t so tense. Clearly, Jun doesn’t buy it either. “That means there’s something to worry about. What’s wrong? Why are you telling him but not us?”
Po turns around to look at the group, and all of them are watching Tae, expectant. Po glances at Ming and sees her also shifting nervously. Whatever it is, they don’t want to tell the group, or they can’t, which means it will affect them.
“Really, guys, it’s nothing, go back to practice,” Tae tries to smile, but ends up grimacing. He really is a bad liar.
“Liar,” Dylan pipes in, “just spit it out. If it concerns us, we deserve to know more than he does.” He nods his head at Po. Dylan is not his biggest fan, for whatever reason. Po is fine with it.
Tae hesitates, glancing back at Ming first as if checking with her. Ming shakes her head first, but as the members protest again, demanding to know what’s going on, she sighs, looks behind her, then gets inside the room and closes the door. It’s as good as permission.
Po tenses even more, preparing for whatever will come out. The bad feeling he’s been carrying for the last week gives him an idea of what it might be about, but he truly hopes he is wrong. Tae considers him first, before glancing around the room.
“The company got a call from Mick last night,” he begins, “As you know, he’s been in Korea with Thame.” Tae pauses and swallows loudly, voice coming out shaky when he continues as his eyes turn sad, “Thame…is in the hospital.”
Ice cold runs through Po. For a moment, his fingers go slack and he almost drops the camera before he recovers, tightening his grip. Thame is in the hospital. Thame is hurt, hurt enough to need a hospital. What happened? God, Po hopes he is ok. He should have never gone to Korea.
Po moves his gaze from Tae to the others. His shock is reflected in the idols’ faces, all frozen where they are around the room. Jun and Pepper recover first, walking to Tae, and talking over each other.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jun loudly demands.
Pepper is slightly more calm when he asks, “Why? What happened? Is he ok?”
Tae hesitates again, and Po doesn’t like that one bit. He understands Tae and Ming were probably given orders to keep this from the group, but they deserve to know. He knows Tae knows that by the way he’s nervously looking around and frowning, he wants to say it but his orders are not to.
“Tae,” Po calls him, voice soft, waiting until Tae eyes him before he continues, “tell them. Be honest. They deserve to know whatever it is you know.” No matter how mad they were with Thame, Po can tell their worry is genuine. Friends argue, but that doesn’t mean they stop caring about each other.
A minute goes by where Tae ponders it over, before sighing again, but it’s not Tae who tells them. “We are not completely sure,” Ming’s voice pipes up from behind them, and they all turn in sync towards her. “P’Mick was still panicking when he called, but it sounded like Thame might have… overdosed… on sleeping pills… whether accidentally or not is unknown.” She pauses, swallowing hard, struggling to get the words out. “P’Mick found him unresponsive and called an ambulance… He’s been treated and he is awake now.”
“Right now,” Tae continues when Ming stops, voice barely above a whisper but loud in the quiet room, “this information is on need-to-know. Khun Pemika doesn’t want many to know at risk of the information getting out, it could damage Thame’s reputation badly, but a story will be released soon to the media just in case. It’ll say Thame fell ill while on a personal trip to Seoul and had to be hospitalised.”
Several things happen at once. Jun falls to the ground, head in his hands, curling in on himself. Nano bursts out in sobs, body shaking, and Pepper hugs him to his side, silent tears falling down his face. Dylan freezes where he stands, eyes wide and notebook hitting the floor in a loud thump.
Po wants to do the same. He wants to fall to the ground. He wants to sob his eyes out. He wants to cry and freeze and put those words back in Ming and Tae’s mouths. Overdose. Thame overdosed. Maybe accidentally… but maybe not . Po doesn’t want to believe it but he knows there is a good chance there was no accident. He thinks back to Thame, crying and apologising over and over again, guilt drowning him for failing his members. He thinks of how lonely Thame looked before he left, and how lonely it must have been in Korea. Po wants to take him in his arms and never let him go.
He should have done more. He saw the signs. They were right there and he did nothing.
I will do more now.
It is no longer a question whether he should or not get involved; whether he waits until Thame asks for help. This is all the asking needed. Thame is safe, and Po will do everything he can to make sure he stays safe. He will help him get his friends back, no matter what it takes.
A peek around confirms what he had suspected already. The reactions of Thame’s bandmates show it clear as day: care . That’s all Po needs. If they still care, then it’s not all as lost as Thame thought it was. They can fix it. I will fix it.
Po watches Tae and Ming, something like pity shining in their eyes as they gaze at the idols, before they nod at each other, at the door, and then quietly walk towards it. Tae briefly glances at Po, nodding towards the exit, a silent question, you coming? Po nods back, he will, in a second.
Once Ming and Tae are gone, the door closing behind them, Po faces the group again. There is one thing he can do right now, it might not fix everything, and it could definitely backfire, but Thame deserves he tries at the very least. Taking a deep breath, Po steels himself, let this work please.
“So, umm,” Po clears his throat, getting the attention of Pepper and Jun. It's difficult to tell if Nano can hear him over his own crying, and Dylan… well he hasn’t moved an inch. “There is something I need to show you… that I think you should know– watch! I mean that you should watch.” Po flinches at his own fumble, feeling so damn awkward with the sad faces frowning at him.
Po moves to the TV on the other side of the room, and connects his camera. Quickly shuffling through the clips he finds the one he has been watching over and over for the past few days and turning the TV on he queues it up. He keeps his eyes trained on the screen as Thame’s interview plays, throughout his scripted words for every one of the MARS members, and as his painful and tearful apologies echoe in the practice room.
When the clip ends, he twists around. Fresh tear tracks mark every single one of the others’ faces, and Po knows his own is the same. Knowing what has happened, what Thame may have done to himself, makes that interview ten times more difficult to watch. The pain was right there. The guilt was right there. The loneliness… was there too. There is just one more thing to do. They didn’t get to record that part in the end, so Po will just have to tell them.
“Thame never wanted to go to Korea,” Po says carefully, he wants to help Thame, but emotions are running high and he doesn’t want to push too hard and mess it up. He really hopes this last-minute plan doesn’t backfire. “He never wanted to leave the band and go solo. Khun Pemika pressured him to take on all those solo schedules and stuff for you, for the band– to save the band. But it wasn’t enough. The pressure never stopped. Until he was told about Korea. He thought… he was told you all wanted to do your own things, and that he was holding you back with his wish of keeping MARS together. Thame… he wasn’t going to stand in the way of your dreams, so he accepted Korea.”
Po takes a breath, all the attention on him, and he needs to make this count. “I haven’t known him for long– honestly, barely for a couple of days, so this may be strange coming from me. You know him better for sure but I believe everything he told me. I have come to know Thame as a selfless person. All Thame ever wanted was for you to be happy, to achieve everything you wanted, even if that means sacrificing his own happiness; his own dream.”
One by one, Po locks eyes with each one of Thame’s friends. He needs them to understand just how much Thame has done for them behind their backs, and how much he has given up. “It’s not my job to tell you what to do. I can’t ask you to forgive him for leaving, or for not telling you what was going on, but I am asking you to please, please, give him a chance to make things right. He’s drowning in guilt, thinking he failed as your leader, and I know you still care. Whether you want MARS to stay together or not, please give him a chance. Please.”