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I am going away for a while
But I'll be back
Don't try and follow me
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Senior night is always one to remember.
Sai doesn't remember how he plucked up the courage to ask her to be his date, let alone why he even bothered to have a date. Everyone knew she would be busy, he would be busy, the night would be busy.
But he did and the words were out of his mouth before he could take them back.
Haruno Sakura was always heart-stoppingly pretty, too cute to be called beautiful, too innocent to be called seductive. She was out of his reach, no matter how much he clung onto her.
She defied every bit of logic and self-preservation he held. Sai allowed his heart to be trampled by her and still he came back for more.
[negative attention is better than no attention]
That night, they ate together, with her mutilating her oranges in pre-performance anxiety, before going their separate ways. He hid behind the camera, content with capturing every honest smile she put on. After being awarded "Little Miss Sunshine," the room brightened with every smile and peal of laughter.
Later, when he wrapped his arms around her waist and they posed for the camera, he couldn't help but wish this ray of light would stay by his side forever.
But like all things, Sakura too will leave his world.
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See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes
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When they called her name and she walked with her head held high across that stage, Sai wasn't sure who cheered the loudest--her screaming family and childhood friends three rows down or their close-knit group of friends.
Meeting up in front of the arena, he smiled for the last photos he'll ever take with her.
Sai knows this obsession with Sakura has to end. She's too good for his world, destined for greater things beyond his lackluster life. Sakura was not meant to be kept confined in the gilded cage disguised as security he can offer her.
She laughed at something Naruto says before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. Sai patiently waited for his turn to be held by her but someone standing with her family broke away and strode towards him.
He can't help but take note of this stranger. It was like staring at a painted version of himself in the mirror, with the same height, lean build, and dark hair. Instead of the collected calm Sai struggled to maintain, this person wore indifference as an effortless act of rebellion.
The stranger said her name in a mellow voice. Sakura tensed in Naruto's arms before letting him go and slowly turning around.
"You're here," she said quietly. "I can't believe you're actually here."
He shrugged and let his arms relax by his side. "I told you I wouldn't miss it for the world, Sakura."
She launched herself into his arms and for a moment, Sai swore she was crying. The stranger whispered something in her ear before she let him go and linked their arms together.
"I hate to cut this short, but Sasuke-kun here tells me my family's leaving." She tilted her head upward and gave him a teasing smirk. "I'll miss all of you!"
Looking back, Sai wished he wasn't so mechanical about their last farewell. Maybe in that last hug, he could have told her all his feelings.
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You're not useless
We are just misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
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Sai still kept up with her, that little Miss Sunshine. He'd text her on occasion, comment on her facebook and instagram, and admitted he missed her once.
The first time she came back to Konoha, it was Senior Night. She wasn't alone; the Stranger kept a protective arm around her waist. Sakura introduced him only as Uchiha Sasuke and nothing more.
She lit up the room like she never left.
Sai wondered how she was really doing. Sometimes, he thought he knew Sakura fairly well from the inordinate amount of time they spent together her last two years, but whenever he saw the Stranger, he realized he didn't know her at all.
He knew she was an only child. Her best friend was Yamanaka Ino. She went to a private school in Tokyo. She wanted to be a doctor.
But the Stranger... who was he?
Sai deduced this Uchiha Sasuke was a very important figure in her life. He must have grown up with her, since he sat with her parents during graduation last year. His presence at that ceremony meant the world to Sakura.
Is he the reason why she always pushed him away?
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I'm just a ghost
But still they echo me
They echo me in circles
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Of course he was.
From the beginning, there was no room for Sai in her life. Without knowing it, or perhaps he was all too concious of it, he patterned his life entirely around her.
Wake up in the morning.
Think about how much she must be sailing above her classmates in medical school as he drank coffee.
Go to work.
Reminisce about his college days during lunch.
Check his facebook and instagram over dinner.
Go to sleep.
Dream of her.
Fingers poised above the keyboard, Sai hesitated on pressing 'ENTER.' Reflexively, his fingers twitched and the message sent.
お目でとございます！
Haruno Sakura is engaged to Uchiha Sasuke.
The hardest part of growing up is learning how to let go.