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Kurumi's afternoon was quiet save for the slight chattering between her and Tamarack as they swinged casually on the tire in the afformentioned's backyard, the girl decided to hang out with her best friend since her mother wouldn't be home until later that evening.
She would've loved to invite Qiu to her and tammys little bonding session but he was busy; but that didn't bother her at all honestly, the comforting silence between her and Tamarack was nice, a sense of familiarity in the atmosphere between the two girls was pleasant and Qiu would want to start up a conversation and cause all of them to yap each other's ears off until Kurumi had to go home.
Kurumis gaze drifted onto Tamarack as she zoned out, her train of thought shifting into thoughts about her as she noticed stains of dirt on the orange-haired girls sleeve.
She always found it endearing how little tamarack cared about her appearance or how people percieved her—Hell the first time they meet Tamarack was hiding in a pile of leaves! At first, Kurumi didn't understand how she managed to go on with such little regard.
But it eventually clicked; She was pretty much comfortable with herself and her image.
The thought made a slight frown form on Kurumis face as something stirred in her chest that she refused to name, but she quickly returned to her neutral expression in fear Tammy might catch something is off—The last thing she wanted to do was worry the girl with her problems.
It wasn't that Kurumi wasnt uncomfortable with herself, it was a ridiculous idea. She was popular, pretty, and had good grades. She didn't even need to sacrifice spending time with her friends to study!
But she often questioned herself whenever she hanged out with Tamarack what it would be like to be like her. Would she be happier disregarding her image and let herself get messy while having fun? Happier if she cared less about her popularity?
But she always refused to let her thoughts go farther than that. Why 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 she be happier if she wasnt popular? Popular was everything she wanted to be. Even if the voices in the back of her head wondered how much different it would be, which caused her to learn to tune out the 'unneeded' thoughts in her head from a young age despite it getting louder whenever she forced herself to crack a smile to keep up appearances.
She was fine playing this game of back and forth for years if it meant she wouldn't lose what shes sacrificed everything for.