Work Text:
Igarashi Sayaka
CC. Momobami Kirari
To: Manyuda Kaede, Sumeragi Itsuki, Yumemite Yumemi, Ikishima Midari, Yomozuki Runa, Nishinotounin Yuriko, VP.
Public Council Affairs.
If you just opened this email like I told you to, tie yourself to whatever chair you’re sitting in because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you who have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this council , we have been FUCKING UP in terms of controlling Yumeko Jabami’s reign over the gambling dens across the school. We have literally seen tweets about you people being fucking USELESS and fucking POWERLESS. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “but oh emm gee Sayaka I’ve been having so much fun with my club affairs this semester” , then taze yourself in the chest so I don’t have to fucking find you on campus and do it myself.
You have 361 days out of the fucking year to focus on your clubs and this week is NOT, i fucking repeat, it’s NOT fucking one of them. This week is about building council authority across the school before the rest of the Momobami Clans arrival, and that’s not fuckikg possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not gamble with the student body.
NEWS FLASH YOU STUPID FUCKING DOGS. The student body doesn't like boring gambling dens! Oh wait! Double fucking news flash THE BAMI CLAN isn’t going to want to gamble with us if we FUCKING SUCK. Which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you:
WE
FUCKING
SUCK SO FAR.
This also applies to you little shits that have shit talked openly about the house pet system being practically impossible to get out of. In front of the house pets! Are you people fucking slow. That’s not a rhetorical question, I literally want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure YOU aren’t part of council affairs anymore. If the house pets said “Yeah we are gonna all leave the school and stop providing funds.” Would you be happy? Would you?
NO YOU WOULDN'T. SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO IT TO THEM??!
First of all you shouldn’t be talking about the housepet system outside of the council room, I don’t give a fuck if your friends are discussing it. YOU DON'T DISCUSS IT!
YOU. DONT. TALK. ABOUT. IT.
and you especially do fucking not accept housepet meetings with the president without running it through me first.
“But Sayakaaaaaaa:(” You say in your whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen. “I’ve been turning in my donations every month doesn’t that count for something??” NO YOU STUPID FUCKINF ASS-HATS, IT FUCKINF DOESNT. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? It doesn’t count because you’ve been fucking up at school bonding events too! For example being stupid fucking shits and saying stuff like “erhhh what’s kickball.” Well it’s time someone told you NO ONE FUCKING LIKES IT. i will fucking CUNT PUNT the next person i hear doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you report me to the President I will ASSAULT YOU.
If this email applies to you in any way meaning you are a weirdo who does weird things during the day like walk around the school flaunting your status, this message is for you.
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S COUNCIL MEETING. IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING. DON'T GO.
If you’re one of the people that have told me “oh no, boohoo, i can’t talk to scholarship students without gambling.” I don’t know how you got this far in life and with that in mind don’t show up to any more council meetings. UNLESS you’re going to stop being a goddamn money-block for our academy. If I see anyone being a god damn prick at tonight’s council meeting I will tell you to leave, even if you’re quiet.
And the rest of you who are dependent form this email, I apologize but I could really care less with the election amidst. Feel free to collect your votes tomorrow at noon.
Sayaka Igarashi
Student Council Secretary
sayaka.igarashi@mail