Work Text:
Mizi put a hand over her face to block the sunlight that filtered through the windows. Normally she would avert her eyes and look in the opposite direction but instead her gaze remained and she continued craning her neck to the side, her amber eyes peeking between the spaces of her fingers as she continued staring at her classmate seated beside her.
She patted herself on the back for the good decision she made to leave earlier than her usual time. If she hadn’t then she would’ve been busy chatting with her friends and not being able to capture this serene moment to cherish and look back on whenever she felt like she missed her.
It’s bad; this silly crush she has on her. It’s a miracle that they even managed to become friends not when Sua preferred keeping to herself while Mizi was always surrounded by different people and yet somehow along the road they found each other standing on the same street side by side and not separated and facing each other.
It happened unexpectedly. Mizi was clumsy and she forgot to bring her textbook that day. She desperately looked around, hoping to share with others when she was struck by a totally innocent — with no ulterior or whatsoever to get close to her — idea to ask Sua if they could share. She quickly ripped a page from her notebook and hastily wrote a note about her situation before completing it with cute doodles on the side. Then she took a deep breath before tapping Sua by the shoulder. When Sua looked at her with her head in a tilt Mizi almost backed out due to her rapidly beating heart. But she shook her head and immediately threw the note to Sua’s desk.
Sua looked back and forth at the crumpled note now sitting on top of her textbook then to Mizi, who was quickly turning red partly due to holding her breath and mostly because this is the longest time she had Sua’s attention on her ever since they had become classmates at the start of the year. Mizi awkwardly smiled as Sua turned and opened the crumpled paper, her amethyst eyes scanned the words written in it. Mizi was clutching the edge of her desk tightly as she watched Sua bring her hand up to her lips, stifling her giggle and passing it off as a cough before folding the paper carefully and tucking it inside her notebook.
Sua turned at her and Mizi felt her world skidded to a stop.
“Come here, Mizi.” She whispered then she beckoned at her with her finger.
Mizi suddenly stood up, making everyone look at her. She played off her mistake by saying she had to pick something up. She quickly ducked and hid her face in embarrassment. When she lifted her face she found Sua watching her closely, the corner of her lips were upturned and there was amusement dancing in her bright amethyst eyes. Sua outstretched her hand and Mizi took it. She quietly pushed her desk towards Sua then she dragged her chair too. She sat down as Sua pushed her textbook in the center of their shared desks.
“Mizi,” Sua whispered directly into her ear. The mere action sent shivers down her spine. “You can come closer.”
Mizi yelped and she put a distance between them by leaning away backwards. Sua’s face fell and she pursed her lips, she muttered an apology but before she could sit back properly Mizi grabbed her wrist.
“You surprised me, Sua.” Mizi admitted. “You make me feel shy too because,” She found herself being honest to the girl before her, she would answer anything she would ask if that meant she wouldn’t make such a disappointed expression ever again. “I’ve always wanted to be this close to you.”
The words she had longed to say to Sua ever since their first meeting came flooding in.
“I wanted to be your friend.” Mizi whispered, her voice low as if she was disclosing a secret that only the two of them could know. She tilted her head and gazed at her with puppy dog eyes. “Can we?”
Sua was stunned at first then her lips moved to bestow Mizi the biggest smile she has ever seen from the quiet girl beside me. “I’d love to.”
Mizi returned her smile with one of her own. They spent the next few hours sitting together, their shoulders touching whenever they would giggle over the little notes they’ve started to pass to each other.
Unbeknownst to them, they both kept the notes they have received and have reread said notes in the comfort of their respective bedrooms at their homes.
Mizi was pulled away from her reminiscing when the sun decided to make her blind again. Her eyes narrowed at the futile attempt to make her look away from Sua. In an instant the sunlight changed direction and it moved to where Sua sat instead, illuminating her figure by the window.
The sunlight didn’t harshly blinded Sua as it did with Mizi, rather it draped over her like a blanket full of warmth and it made Mizi jealous because she’d want nothing more than to drape herself all over Sua. She could do it under the pretense of friends just wanting to hug but she knows her heart desired more than that.
She bit her lip and tried to shoo these thoughts away and stomped on the fluttering butterflies in her stomach. There was no way possible for Sua to return her feelings when it took them so long to become friends. Sua also has the tendency to pull away from her whenever other people would come to talk to her. Her eyes traced her figure hunching over a book while the wire of the earphones plugged in her ear was coiled around her dainty hands, Mizi wondered what song could she be listening to while she contemplated how beautiful Sua who was lost in her own world is.
Mizi hesitantly looked away when more students came in to fill in the classroom but that didn’t mean she had stopped stealing glances at Sua with the hope that their eyes would meet and she’ll get to talk to her about anything.
“Mizi!” A classmate shouted her name and she could already see a crowd approaching her.
She sighed tiredly and glanced at Sua one last time before she got blocked from her view when a classmate stood at her side.
She smiled at them politely as she greeted them good morning. She listened to them chatter even though she was only doing it halfheartedly she still managed to comment every now and then.
One gossip in particular caught her attention because she was the topic of it.
“Mizi, is it true?”
“They said you got confessed to by Till from the other class?”
“They said Ivan was also there too.”
“Are you a couple now?”
“Woah! Congrats!”
Wait.
What?!
No, no, no. They got it all wrong.
“W-wait —” Mizi was desperately trying to get a word in but all of them were speaking over each other.
A sudden screeching noise interrupted them and it came from her left side.
Left.
Wait.
Sua.
“Excuse me.” Sua coldly muttered under her breath and the people around her quickly moved to clear a path for her. Sua briskly walked and as soon as she’s an earshot away they started talking about her.
“Man, Sua’s really scary.”
“Yeah, definitely an Ice Princess.”
“Mizi, you should switch seats with Acorn, it must’ve been boring here with just the Ice Princess to talk to.”
“You really should switch seats, I heard he got the hots for her. Maybe he can melt the ice.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Mizi stood slowly, her fists clenching hard, nails digging in her palms and her knuckles turning white.
She repeated. “Shut the fuck up.”
The crowd around her were stunned into silence. They never saw Mizi this angry, no scratch that, they never saw Mizi get angry ever.
“Don’t you dare talk about Sua ever again.” She growled. She glared at each of them before turning away and heading out in the same direction she saw Sua taken off to.
Mizi ran in the hallway, ignoring the people walking in the opposite direction and pushing forward despite warning her not to run in the hallways. She hastily threw in some apologies to the people she had accidentally shoved or hit as she was busy racking her mind on where Sua could’ve gone to.
The bell rang and she halted her run near the restroom at the end of the hallway. She didn’t know why her feet led her here but her instincts are screaming at her to at least check this restroom once.
She was about to open the door when it suddenly opened.
“Sua…”
It was Sua who opened it. Her lips were pursed, her eyes were puffy and there was a shock expression painted on her face.
“Mizi…” Her shock morphed to indifference. “Excuse me.”
Mizi gritted her teeth, her heart constricted at how Sua acted in front of her. It hurts.
She can’t let Sua walk away like this.
She has to —
Wait. What does she need to do?
Why did she chase Sua here in the first place?
They’re friends. Why would she need to clear something up and tell her it’s not true when they were just friends.
Friends.
Could it be that Sua might actually feel the same for her and that’s why she was so distraught over the gossip she heard?
Mizi turned around and quickly followed her. When she caught up to her she grabbed Sua’s wrist to make her turn towards her.
“Sua, let me explain —”
“Hey! You two, no loitering in the hallways!”
They both yelped and bowed their heads in apology at the teacher who scolded them.
Together they walk back to their classroom. Mizi belatedly realized that she had been holding onto Sua’s hand the entire time. She only discovered it after Sua stopped her from entering the classroom.
“Sua, what’s wrong?” There was genuine concern laced in her voice and she was ready to help Sua escape if she decided she didn’t want to attend classes.
“My hand,” Mizi tilted her head in curiosity, wondering why Sua said that.
Sua sighed tiredly. “Please let go of my hand.”
Oh.
Oh .
Mizi suddenly felt chills run down her spine at what Sua said. Her hold on her fingers loosened their hold on Sua and her hand was left hanging in the air as Sua pulled hers away.
Sua looked at her, brow furrowed in concern for an instant before it dissipated. “I’ll go ahead.”
As Sua walked away from her Mizi could hear her heart breaking in pieces.
She quickly wiped away the tears building up in the corner of her eyes then she slapped her cheeks and shook her head.
She’ll fix this. She can’t let Sua misunderstand the situation. She can no longer bottle up her feelings for her friend too.
She loves Sua.
And she has to let her know even if she’ll end up breaking her heart even more in the face of her actual rejection.
With that in mind Mizi decided to make the most of this day if it would ever end in heartbreak but she desperately hoped it would end with her and Sua being girlfriends.
Sua sighed again for the umpteenth time since she went back to the classroom and sat down on her seat by the window. She also couldn’t stop stealing glances at the unoccupied seat besides hers if she wasn’t busy checking the clock.
She buried her head in her hands as she recalled how rudely she acted in front of Mizi. It was stupid of her to be mad when she doesn’t have any right to be one at all.
She fell in love with Mizi at first sight.
She fell deeper when they grew closer after sharing a desk.
She’s falling deeper still and some days she wondered whether she was just good at hiding her feelings or if Mizi knew but never said anything about it.
She loves Mizi and this gnawing distance is hurting her. She was already regretting the way she vented her anger on an unsuspecting Mizi who only wanted to comfort her because she saw how distressed she was.
Sua loves her friend, Mizi, more than a friend should. Sua loves her the way one would a lover. She pined for Mizi as if she was waiting for her to return to her arms after being separated for so long.
She loves —
She can no longer blame her novels for having such thoughts when a baseless rumor got her acting like a green-eyed monster.
Sua looked down on the pages of her book, none of them made sense so she shut it close.
How would she even apologize to Mizi?
A simple apology just won’t do but she can’t, for the life of her, explain herself by bringing out these hidden feelings of hers in the open.
She would do anything to keep Mizi by her side even if it meant sacrificing herself to unbearable pain because she would witness Mizi falling in love with someone that wasn’t her.
Sua composed herself in time for the door to open with Mizi walking inside the room. She propped her arm up at the table and rested her cheek in her palm as she distracted herself by looking at the window and watching the clouds.
There was a familiar screeching noise beside her and she whipped her head to see Mizi putting their desks together with a downtrodden expression on her face.
Sua stared at her, mouth agape, unable to believe that Mizi is literally closing the gnawing distance she put between them because she was too lost in her emotions which caused her to act entitled and rude to Mizi.
“Sua,” Mizi whined as she placed her head on Sua’s shoulder, lips pouting cutely. “I forgot my book, let's share.”
Sua pointedly looked at the book Mizi pushed inside the drawer of her desk.
Is this Mizi’s gentle way of rejecting her? Telling her to forget what happened? Pretend it didn’t happen at all?
Sua was abruptly pulled away from her thoughts when Mizi looped her arm with hers, easily entwining their fingers together.
This was normal, right? They’ve held hands before for some reason they did but all Sua could remember was that she was too busy savoring the feeling of holding Mizi’s hand to even remember why they did it in the first place.
Their hand holding didn’t last that long because the teacher arrived and homeroom began soon after.
Sua was still reeling from everything that had happened; she barely listened to what’s being discussed by the teacher.
She felt a nudge on her shoulder and she glanced sideways at Mizi who was fully turned on her and holding a piece of paper between her fingers. She immediately took it and gestured at Mizi to listen to their teacher. She didn’t open the note until she saw Mizi sit back properly in her chair.
Sua unfolded the paper and read the words written in Mizi’s cute handwriting. She frowned at the lack of doodles as she had become accustomed to receiving notes from her like that.
Sua, I’m sorry for earlier. Are we good?
Sua inwardly groaned as she had the sudden urge to bash her head on her desk.
Mizi is really everything good in this world personified and she’s just — just Sua.
Sua wasted no time in giving her a reply because she could feel Mizi’s gaze at her. She confirmed it by quickly stealing a glance at her.
She wrote on the same piece of paper Mizi gave.
There’s nothing to apologize for, Mizi.
I’m the one at fault earlier. I shouldn’t have assumed things
We’re fine. Don’t worry too much about it.
Sua folded it and placed it on Mizi’s desk, she tried to do it nonchalantly but it failed because her arm was shaking when she did so. Mizi noticed it and held her hand before putting it inside the pocket of her blazer then she mouthed, “warmer?”
Sua could only nod as blood came rising in her cheeks, leaving them with a tinge of pink.
They spent the rest of the morning like that, holding hands underneath their shared desks, hidden inside Mizi’s pocket. Sua thanked her past self for being curious enough to learn writing with both hands because being used to it made their hand holding possible.
Lunch came quicker when she was not looking out for time. Sua had assumed it would be the end of their wonderful hand holding but Mizi had other plans.
Instead of the usual cheerful asking if she has some craving for cafeteria food and her responding by showing her lunch box and Mizi drooling over it and her telling Mizi that she would wait for her to come back so they could eat together, Mizi simply slumped at her desk while looking at her with a pout.
“Mizi?” Sua looked around and noticed that the usual crowd who would approach Mizi seemed to be hesitating, they flinched when Mizi briefly turned her gaze on them then she pouted even more when her gaze went back to her. “Aren’t you going to the cafeteria? With them?”
Mizi abruptly sat back and vehemently shook her head as she squeezed Sua’s hand. “Nope. I wanna stay with you.”
With no response from Sua, she added. “I can, right?”
“Of course, you can, Mizi.” Sua rubbed her thumb over her knuckles as Mizi scooted closer to her.
Sua was about to suggest they share her lunch when Mizi’s stomach grumbled loudly, their hands unclasped as Mizi went to cover her stomach as if it would stop the grumbles. Sua used her now free hand to cover up a grin.
She felt relieved and disappointed at the same time. Her heart might go back to its normal beating now that Mizi has let go of her but it was hard to put a lid on the growing emptiness she has been feeling as soon as their hands were unbound.
Sua opened up her lunch and took the extra chopsticks out for Mizi but before she could give it to her Mizi leaned forward and parted her lips. “Sua, aah.”
Her heart skipped a beat. And a beat again. And again.
It’s a miracle she’s still here instead of the emergency room in a hospital.
Mizi.
Mizi.
Mizi.
Sua inwardly screamed while keeping a straight face in the midst of Mizi’s antics.
Calm down. Deep breaths. Clean thoughts.
Sua repeated it like a mantra until she felt calm enough and her mind was blank, devoid of any inappropriate thoughts and fleeting hopes.
She calmly picked a side dish with her chopsticks and languidly put it in front of Mizi’s parted lips. Mizi took it in one bite, her lips touching the edge of the chopsticks as she did so. She made a pleased sound as she chewed the food in her mouth.
Sua blushed as she did the same and fed herself, letting the tip of chopsticks linger on her lips as she thought about them indirectly kissing through it.
“Sua,” Mizi put her arm over her shoulder and scooted even more closer, leaving no space between them. “More.”
At that moment, Sua understood why she was called an Ice Princess.
With a blank expression on her face, she picked up another dish that Mizi liked and fed it to her like she had been doing it her whole life. Mizi happily crooned at her side while Sua could feel years of her life being taken from her in exchange of the restraint she has been exerting.
They finished their lunch like that, Mizi clinging to her and Sua fighting for her life.
Sua supposed she would miss Mizi’s warmth because after the last class they all have their respective clubs, Mizi joined a dance club while she preferred the comfortable silence of the library so she became a library committee instead.
“Sua,” Mizi tugged on her sleeve. “Do you have anything else to do after club?”
Sua shook her head. “Why? Do you need me for something?”
Mizi seemed to hesitate for a bit but she looked at Sua and her tender gaze laced with concern was enough to placate her. “Mhm. I have something to tell you.”
Sua tilted her head but Mizi merely smiled at her, she took notice that her smile didn’t reach her eyes as it usually had. This gave Sua a dreadful feeling and she couldn’t help but overthink what Mizi could possibly tell her later.
Her fears of her feelings being discovered and outrightly rejected by Mizi had resurfaced to torment her. Both of them were supposed to go their separate ways when the bell rang but Mizi insisted on walking her to the library before going to the dance hall herself. Mizi has repeatedly squeezed her hand on the way there but she would only smile in response, unable to trust her voice to not shake if she speaks and it might give way for the repressed emotions to burst out of her.
Sua spent the remainder of the afternoon in turmoil if she wasn’t busy staring at the clock and its ticking hands as the moment Mizi spoke of would soon happen.
As the clock struck at five pm sharp it signaled the end of club activities and it heralded the hundreds of footsteps leaving the premises. For Sua, it heralded the last few minutes of her happiness. Too consumed with dread she could only envision the end of the most precious thing she held dear; Mizi and their friendship.
Sua started fixing her stuff so if the inevitable did happen she could swiftly make an escape but knowing Mizi and her kind heart she wouldn’t leave her alone even if it meant she has to spend more time with someone she had rejected.
She forlornly sighed when half an hour had passed.
Has Mizi forgotten her?
Was she held back again by another confession from someone brave enough to face their feelings?
She began to contemplate whether she should start locking up the library since there’s no one there besides her and she could just meet Mizi halfway instead of just waiting.
Just as Sua had fished out the keys the door slammed open with a bang disrupting the comfortable silence that had settled in the library.
Mizi was panting and trying to catch her breath as she leaned on the doorway, she looked disheveled with her hair hastily tied up, water and sweat dripping from the strands. It seemed like she rushed to get dressed right after taking a shower.
“Sorry, I’m late. The seniors were teaching us the dance routine for the upcoming festival. ” Mizi explained. “Sua, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.”
Sua put down the keys and her bag at the counter as she reassured Mizi that she hadn't kept her waiting. Mizi beamed at her then she closed the door, locking it with a turn of her wrist before striding towards Sua.
Sua looked at the door longingly and thought, there goes my chance for a swift escape .
But she quickly forgot about it as Mizi tackled her in an embrace. Every one of her senses were filled by Mizi and if being enveloped by Mizi isn’t happiness in itself then she doesn’t know what it is. Her arms automatically wrapped around her and she returned her tight embrace with a squeeze.
There was no place safer than being in Mizi’s arms and she wondered if that alone gave her strength to do something she never would’ve thought she would do.
Sua pulled away and she felt Mizi do the same. They were still ensconced in their shared embrace, the space between them were only inches apart. One tilt of her head and she could press their lips together.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh yes.
Sua did exactly what was playing on her head. She tilted her head but before she leaned in she gave one last glance at Mizi whose smile only grew wider before closing her eyes and leaning forward, eager to meet her halfway.
Their lips met in a chaste kiss. The elation from the mere pressing of their lips made them giggle in between their kisses. When Sua pulled back Mizi immediately chased after her, they laughed, they smiled, they were happy they both decided to take the leap they were so afraid of at the same time.
While they were so lost in each other the sound of the door shaking as someone was trying to open it outside. They jolted when they realized what was happening. Sua quickly grabbed Mizi and they ducked behind the counter.
Sua was straining her ears to hear what was happening beyond the door but she got distracted when Mizi cupped her cheek to face her.
Belatedly, she realized that in their hurry to hide she ended up straddling Mizi’s lap. Sua blushed at their position but Mizi doesn’t seem to mind.
“Sua,” Mizi whispered before pecking her lips. “I love you.”
Sua looked at her with wide eyes unable to believe what she was hearing.
“I know we skipped a few steps but I hope you don’t mind that I want to do this properly.” Mizi twiddled her thumb as she explained while averting her eyes.
Sua was in love with her, deeply in love and yet in that moment she found herself falling even more.
It wasn’t fair that only Mizi said her feelings out loud. Mizi already took the first step for them. It’s her turn now.
Sua took a hold of her hands, locking their fingers together before bringing it up to her lips, kissing each of her knuckles while staring intensely at her.
“Mizi, I love you.” Sua felt lightless now that she has let her feelings guide her. “Can we stay together?”
Mizi frowned at her wording but before she could protest Sua initiated their kiss this time.
“As girlfriends?” Sua grinned.
“Yes! A hundred times yes!” Mizi enthusiastically exclaimed as she pulled Sua in another tight embrace.
“Sua.” Mizi mumbled against Sua’s hair while Sua nuzzled her neck.
“Mhm.”
“Is it too early for me to propose?” Mizi genuinely asked and it made Sua smile as she began to imagine what future they may have.
“I don’t mind.” Sua answered in a singsong voice, giggling when Mizi pouted at her indirect answer. It made her want to kiss her again. So she did. Because she can and there’s no more need to restrain herself from doing so.
“Let’s go home first, love.” Sua stood up and dusted her skirt then she offered her hand to Mizi.
“L-Love…” Mizi repeated the endearment and she took Sua’s outstretched hand.
Sua took her bag in her free hand while she squeezed Mizi’s fingers in the one entwined with hers.
“Mizi?” Sua asked, wondering what captivated Mizi as she continued to watch the setting sun from the window.
“I was jealous of the sun this morning.” Mizi admitted as she shot her with a bashful smile.
Before Sua could ask why Mizi kissed her a bit harder compared to the ones they’ve previously shared.
“Because its light could touch you and drape over you when I couldn’t before.”
It was silly. The things humans do for love.
“I guess the sun is the first to witness our love then.” Sua murmured against Mizi’s lips before kissing her again as the sun set. “And know that I’m yours completely.”
“I love you, Mizi.”
“I love you, Sua.”