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It's not everyday you watch a person lose their life in front of you. It's even less common to watch several people, shocked and scared, get shot in the head just mere inches from you, to hear them plead and whimper under their breath, the gasps from others who are trying so hard to keep their composure as to not fall to the same fate they had just witnessed.
It’s the sort of stuff that would mess up a person for life. You bond to the people who are stuck with you in there, facing the same situation brings even just a small comfort to them. Thanos was trying his hardest to ignore his surroundings, to not get attached to anyone so he wouldn't have to feel the real pain he had saw in some of their eyes. He was trying to keep his mind so far away from this dreadful place using whatever pills he had stored in his cross before coming here.. but he knew he was slowly running out.
Soon he would have to face this situation he had gotten himself into. Maybe he would stop saying, “One more game..” I mean, the drugs were making him enjoy these games, have fun, in some sick sort of way, with his little crew by his side, too frightened of his unpredictability to dare go against him. Except for Nam.. Uh.. S.. Nam-gyu! Right, yes, Nam-gyu.
Nam-gyu was basically attached to the boy’s hip. He vaguely remembered him from his times at Club Pentagon as a worker who would occasionally slip him some drugs and suggest they get high together. Thanos doesn't remember a lot from Club Pentagon, so whatever Nam-gyu had brought him must've been some good shit. He definitely didn't remember the boy being so clingy to him in Club Pentagon, but Thanos figured it was likely a result of him fearing for his life, which he understood.
Even though he’d go along with their, “One more game” plan, the boy would still be visibly shaking before each game begun, only seemed to be lulled by whatever pill Thanos could offer him.. but these pills couldn't last forever and Thanos wasn't sure Nam-gyu knew how limited their supply was running at this point. Thanos didn't anticipate the amount to get him and another person through a week of these games, it was to a point that anytime the chain moved he would hear the last couple pills clashing around in the cross.
He was currently sitting on his bed, conserving the last of the drugs for him and Nam-gyu in the final games meant he was now sobering up. He was realising how dull this place really was without the buzz he had grown accustomed to. “Hey.. hey..!” He hears a soft call from above him, most other competitors were sleeping at this point, he's not surprised when he glances up to see Nam-gyu’s face peering down at him. His face pokes through the metal bars, grinning down at the boy. Once he knows Thanos has seen him, he scans the room for anyone watching before he quietly runs down the stairs and over to Thanos’ bed. Majority of the people who had been assigned a bed next to Thanos has moved away by this point, likely out of fear of association with him, but Thanos didn't care. Instead, it meant he got a whole section of the room to himself.
Nam-gyu sits cross legged on the floor, rocking back and forth just slightly. He was always a lot more fidgety when he was sober, so Thanos knew what he was here for. “Hey.. I— I can't sleep.” He begins his excuse, trying to prop himself up with his hands but they can't stay stable, “Do.. Do you think I can get any more?” He enquires, making a gesture forward with his shoulder as if attempting to point at the cross around Thanos’ neck. Thanos tries to keep his voice low, he raises his hands defensively as he replies with a simple, “Nah, man.”
He watches Nam-gyu’s face falter slightly, the soft and excited grin dropping as he listens to the boy, “T— To get me through the night?” He adds another sentence, though his voice quivered slightly. It felt more like he was asking ‘How am I going to get through the night without this?’ rather than requesting more. Thanos shrugged, he felt better to clarify, “There's not enough left to last us both until we get out of here.”
Nam-gyu stared at the floor, his expression now devoid of hope or begging. Thanos wasn't usually the caring kind, but this was like the one person that was sticking with him through this game, keeping him alive. He figured he needed him in his best spirit throughout if they wanted to live, at least that's what he told himself. Another part of him couldn't stand to see the boy like this. Empty, sad, hopeless? Yeah, it benefited him in the games to have someone challenging his recklessness and follow his every move, but he strangely found himself caring for him too.
“Hey, hey. Listen, yeah? When we're out, yeah? I’ll get you some more of these. Your own little stash, huh? Sound good?”
He watched Nam-gyu perk up at the idea, “Yeah.” He grins again until his eyes return to the cross that Thanos now realises he had been absentmindedly fidgeting with. “H— How many do we have left?” He crosses his arms, sitting up more forward and adjusting his hoodie.
“4, 5? I dunno.” Thanos shrugged, he dared not even open the case for fear of taking one and lessening their supply when he really didn't need it, actually, if anything, he feels quite calm right now. His mind is telling himself it's just because it's quiet, but he wonders if Nam-gyu’s presence has anything to do with it. He hears Nam-gyu groan at his response, “That little? You could've mentioned that earlier..” His voice isn't angry, Thanos can tell he's tired.
In attempt to console he motions for the boy to sit closer to the bed and Nam-gyu silently shifts forward. Thanos rests a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly, “Just think of when we get out and you get your own private stash, okay?” Nam-gyu stays silents but nods along. Thanos continues, “Yeah. I’ll not charge you anything for it too, huh? You’ll get your own pile for free.” Nam-gyu yawned, Thanos was shocked this was actually working.
Nam-gyu leaned further forward, his head gently resting on the edge of Thanos’ mattress, well, if Thanos’ arm wasn't in the way. He had yet to take his arm off the boy’s shoulder, so when he leaned forward to rest against the mattress it caused Thanos’ arm to lean forward to stay on his shoulder and inadvertently caused Nam-gyu to rest his head on Thanos’ muscle. Coincidentally, this spot also seemed to be one of the spots Nam-gyu would frequently attach himself to when he was awake.
“Yo.. yo! Don't be fallin’ asleep on me here, surely this isn't comfortable. Come on.”
Nam-gyu mumbled something in response and when Thanos attempted to shake the boy from his bicep he found his head fell limp and his eyes were shut. “Shit..” He whispered under his breath. He couldn't leave him to sleep on the cold, hard floor all night, but there was also no chance of dragging him up the stairs and the ladder to his own bed.. and yes, Thanos did have several empty beds around him due to everyone fleeing away from him, he could easily plop Nam-gyu into the one right beside him, but where's the fun in that?
Also, Thanos was in quick thinking mode here, and it has been demonstrated time and time again that a quick-thinking Thanos is a sure-fire liability to everyone around him. This quick thinking is a lot more light hearted, and the likelihood of death is only around 1.24%, if Thanos were to guess.
Nam-gyu is not the lightest person that has had the pleasure of being lifted by The Thanos himself, but he was a lot lighter than Thanos had anticipated, so easily lifting the boy from the floor that Thanos had thought he had just stood up on his own, but nothing.. he was still completely out.. and still completely attached to his arm. Thanos had kind of gotten accustomed to Nam-gyu being attached to his hip (metaphorically) and being attached to his arm (literally) but the strength of his grip now seems unparalleled.
Thanos sat Nam-gyu beside him, Nam-gyu’s hold on him turning Thanos’ arm into a pillow for himself. Thanos rubbed at this face with his free hand, he let himself breathe for a second and before he could even think about it, the tiredness washed over him. He yawned, getting ready to shift back to his pillow and lay down, momentarily forgetting about the boy cuddling up his arm.. whose body followed his movements to the pillow. Unfortunately, these beds were obviously not designed for sharing, and Nam-gyu’s body quickly started to slip off the side, Thanos could manage one quick action before he felt he was going to sleep, and, of course, that action was to swiftly wrap the arm, that Nam-gyu was holding, around the others waist and pulling him back onto the bed.
When Thanos awoke the next morning, he found he was unable to sit up and rubs his eyes like he normally did. something was blocking him from doing so. He opens his eyes to see messy black hair obstructing his view. His arms recoil defensively, “What the fuck..” He mutters loudly, trying not to draw any attention to himself but also vocalising his thoughts. The messy hair moves, revealing Nam-gyu’s face groggily staring at Thanos.
“What— What the fuck are you doing, Bro?”
Before Nam-gyu fully wakes up Thanos noticed the kind of position they are in. Nam-gyu has his arms wrapped around his torso, one of his legs is draped over both of Thanos’, who has one arm placed around his waist. Additionally, Nam-gyu had his face buried in the crook of his neck.
When Nam-gyu does take in his surroundings, he doesn't move. He knew the boy could get very clingy, but to this extent? Thanos goes to just push him off, but he doesn't want him to move either. It's something Thanos isn't used to feeling, he's had his fair share of one night stands and relationships that barely last a week, but this isn't anything like that. He's comfortable, like really comfortable. He doesn't feel like he has to perform to impress him.
Nam-gyu yawns, “Hm? What time is it?” His voice is calm, lowly, relaxed in a way that Thanos hasn't heard. “You— You’re—” Thanos can't seem to get his words out right. Nam-gyu just looks at him, faces just inches away from each other. He laughs slightly, finally picking up on Thanos’ reaction, “You're embarrassed?” His voice is teasing, but low in a way that made Thanos’ skin crawl. “Me? Tch, No..” He blurts out as if instinct.
Nam-gyu gives him an unsure look, before rolling his eyes and craning his neck to see if anyone else was awake. He couldn't tell, the room was still dark, but it was silent so he figured not. “Nobody's up?” He mumbles, not expecting a response. Yawning again he adds, “Go back to sleep, they’ll wake us up soon..” Despite Thanos telling himself he shouldn't and that he doesn't want to, he falls back asleep with ease.
The alarms ring loud, and Thanos jolts awake immediately to find Nam-gyu still cuddled up to him. Stupidly, that was the nicest sleep he has had in the bunks, and even though the nights were usually cold, their shared body heat made him wake up warm. Nam-gyu lifted the arm stretched around Thanos’ body and rubbed his eyes, “Sleep well?” He grinned, although he seemed to be genuinely asking.
“Whatever.” Thanos shrugged, trying to ignore the fact he felt more refreshed than ever.
Nam-gyu ignores what is supposed to be an insult, “I’ll go see where the others are..” He rolls off the bed, ducking down to not hit his head on any of the steel bars that enclosed him. He stretches, looking out towards those who were already queued for breakfast. After scanning the crowd he turned to look at Thanos, still laying still on his bed. “They aren't up yet..” He whispers over to him, crouching down. They pause for a second before Nam-gyu realises Thanos isn't moving from his bed. “I’ll go get them, I guess.” He huffs, grabbing on to one of the bars to pull himself forward, but he stops midway through and looks back at Thanos, approaching him quickly and placing a quick kiss on his cheek. He then scurries off towards the others beds.
Thanos freezes. He can't comprehend why. He knows he likes guys, but Nam-gyu? And he's liked tons of girls before, how come none of them have ever made him choke up like this? He licks him lips, he couldn't remember when his mouth had gotten so dry. He watches the rest of his crew queue before he had even gotten up, and Nam-gyu keeps glancing over at him, though Thanos couldn't quite make out his expression.
Dragging himself up, he makes a point to join a line that the others weren't in, yet when he returns to his bed Nam-gyu was sitting on it, eating. “What?” Thanos spits out, more harshly than intended. Nam-gyu doesn't reply. “Man, you can't eat on your own bed?” Nam-gyu shrugs in response.
“I can't sleep up there, why eat?” He looks up towards his assigned bed, “The only way I could sleep would be—”
“No. I told you, we barely have enough for both of us to get through these games.”
Nam-gyu stays quiet, softly he asks, “What about tonight?” He glances up to meet Thanos’ gaze. Thanos sighs, “Fine. You can sleep there one more night.” Nam-gyu grins, Thanos continues, “Just one! This isn't gonna become some thing, got it?”
(It became a thing.)