Work Text:
The probation period had been a lonely experience so far for Momo. Sure, he did his work well and he loved it but connecting with his team had proven to be a challenge. Years of getting mocked because of his accent had cloaked him into shyness and apprehensive of engaging with new people. Yet, he longed to connect with his teammates and have fun the way they all seem to have together, often going out for drinks and sharing jokes during coffee breaks.
He had heard someone asking if anyone wanted to go out after work tonight but had stayed silent, focusing on printing the new number he needed to put on the sign.
Maybe…maybe, next time he would try to say yes.
***
Apparently, the universe was listening and decided to give him a kind push in the form of his kind and handsome teammate (if it could also listen when Momo was begging to get more money, that would be much appreciated thank you very much). Heng had offered to get a drink together after work and Momo, for once, couldn’t refuse, intrigued and charmed. He didn’t expect it to be just the two of them, under the stars. Despite the peaceful atmosphere, his stress came out when Heng handed him a can and his accent slipped. Bracing himself for a mocking reaction, he was met with a quiet smile and understanding.
Chatting with Heng felt easy and safe. Here, cradled into night’s embrace, it was just the two of them talking softly, getting to know each other. Momo couldn’t help but stare at the man sitting next to him, and for a moment, suspended in time, Heng looked back with his kind smile. His breath caught and somewhere in his heart, a seed started growing.
My name is Heng as in good luck.
Taking a sip and looking at the stars, Momo thought that maybe his luck had turned indeed and courage could be found in the warm smile of a colleague.
***
Since that night with Heng, socializing at work had become easier for Momo and going out for drinks a common occurrence. He started feeling more and more comfortable around his colleagues and was looking forward to building his career with them. Maybe it could be a nice place to settle and grow.
Their probation was ending and they were all out tonight celebrating at a place suggested by Heng. As the evening unfurled and everyone laughed around him, Momo felt his cheerful mood dim a little at every interaction Heng had with his friend. A bitter part of his mind whispered he should have known a man like Heng was probably straight with a gorgeous girlfriend, and if they weren’t together already, they would be soon according to the easy touches they had while laughing. Drinking, Momo tried to steer his thoughts away from inevitable pain.
***
When he received the call that would shape his career, Momo looked back at Heng.
He was shining with warmth and laughter, a light so bright in this restaurant, his presence so kind Momo could feel it wrapped around him like a hug. This light wasn’t for him. Momo needed to go back to the darkness and avoid getting his wings burned like Icarus. He wasn’t a stranger to falling for men who couldn’t love him back and he knew too well the bitterness of these feelings, of how terrible it was to long for someone who would never look at him the way he yearned for.
Turning around, he took his first step away from Heng and from the feelings blooming in his chest.
***
When Heng fell into his arms, years later, Momo’s first thought was “Maybe the universe has it for me”.
His second thought was “He’s still so warm”.
Maybe Momo was meant to burn his wings. Maybe, there was no escaping this bright light he tried to run away from, so many years ago. If Heng gave him the courage to talk more to people, maybe this time he could find himself the courage to stay by his side, even if he had to keep his feelings quiet.
Who knows, maybe he could even win the lottery one day?