Work Text:
“Snow?”
”Holy crud it’s snowing!”
Master Hand looked outside the window of their office, the snowfall outside pouring down as the children, and even some adults of Smash were playing out in the snowy weather, sighing and leaning back into their chair with a sigh.
”Snow? At this time of year…?” He mumbled, pushing back his glasses, and whipping out his phone to text his assistant to go outside and start shoveling the snow, despite the knowledge that said assistant would probably just pay off another Smasher to do the task for him. Master sighed. He pays that damn kid more than enough for the shit they get in return.
It was peaceful, admittedly, the quiet nature of their office mixed with watching the heavy snow fall to the ground…Except he knew this peacefulness wouldn’t last in about 3…2…1…-
“BROTHER LOOK DID YOU SEE THE SNOW OUTSIDE?!”
Crazy burst into the room shaking with excitement, practically vibrating in excitement, already out of her normal clothes in exchange for a winter get-up. Only thing that didn’t change was Crazy’s messy hair.
“I-…Have a window Cray…and eyes, it’s like 10 o’clock why are you already geared up to go outside?” Master asked his chaotic counterpart.
Crazy merely threw her head back and cackled in response, “Because dummy! I wanna have some fun! You’re always so boring, in here constantly doing work and evading taxes!”
”Someone has to do it. Besides, if not me, then who will?”
”Just make the kid do it! Oh speaking of him, I saw him paying Ness and Lucas like fifty bucks each to shovel all the pavement outside.”
Master hand sighed, of course he would. He predicted the kid to a T. “I’ll have a chat with him later…for now, could you just help me with these pap-ACK-!”
He was cut off by his twin grabbing his wrists and practically dragging them out of his office chair, “C’MON PARTY POOPER! We’re going outside, having fun, and you will enjoy it, do I make myself clear?”
”No, Cray-!”
”No buts! It’s literally the middle of summer and it’s snowing! When else are you going to get a time like this?!”
Master rolled their eyes. “How about January or December?”
”That’s such a lame ass timeframe, besides, you ever watched those “Christmas in July” marathons on Hallmark? This is just like that!”
“I fucking hate Hallmark.”
Crazy made a disgusted face at that, her nose scrunching up in disappointment at her sibling. But didn’t press the matter…surprisingly, instead opting to drag her twin out to their room to force them to get ready for the snow, said twin now caving in and getting dressed.
~
”See that wasn’t so hard was it?” Crazy asked sarcastically, her tongue stuck out to her sibling, who rolled their eyes and pinched her nose.
”It was so difficult I almost died, now can we just go?” the seemingly more mature Hand replied with a roll of the eyes, something that seems to happen a lot around his chaotic double.
”AW HELL YEAH! LETS GO, BROTHER!”
~
Watching all the Smashers play in the snow reminded him of when he and Crazy were children…It never snowed where they both were from. But it was always fun to play pretend, the books they always got their hands on could describe it for them, soft frozen water drops that would melt on your clothes and get you all cold…It would inspire the two of them to attempt to recreate the phenomenon, which, despite his own minor ice manipulation, could never actually get close to the real deal.
Master was snapped out of his thoughts when a snowball hit his face, whipping his head around to see his twin sister, with a shit eating grin as she gathered up more snow to throw at him.
”What’s wrong? Too stunned by this betrayal to fight back~?” She teased, throwing another snowball at him, who managed to dodge this time.
”Oh please, you’re on, loser.” He replied, gathering up snow in his own hands (who knew snow was this cold even with his immunity), and chucking it at his twin, who shreaked and got hit in the knee with it.
”You little sucker~”
Before he knew it, he was pelted with an ungodly amount of snowballs all at one, Crazy using her telekinesis to make and toss it at him, which was met with a manifested shield from Master’s side to block the attacks, which only made his sister more clever at her approach.
”Ohhhhh so now we’re hiding too huh~? Too scared of your sis to fight me~?” She teased, gathering another snowball, but sneakily pouring a bit of water on top of it to harden the snowball, into something that could kill a small Victorian orphan, not that she would know, of course.
”Come onnnn brother~! Just fight back! I know ya wanna~!”
Not enticed by his sister’s taunting, probably from thousands of years dealing with said taunting but aye, who's counting?, Master stayed put, sticking out his tongue at her playfully.
”I know your tricks, you damn witch! Quit trying to lure me into a false sense of security!”
”Oh please! Like you don’t do the same! Remember when you lured basically yourself into driving but you ended up crashing into Waffle House because of how bad a driver you are? I ain’t the only tricky one here!”
Master tried to defend himself, but accidentally, left himself open for a millisecond (“Not even a full goddamn second!” future him would cry), Cray using said opportunity to launch a frozen snowball at her twin’s head, knocking him to the ground face first.
But it’s okay, because they both were highly resilient to pain! So any second he should be getting up!
…Any second
…
“Oh God did I actually kill him?!” Crazy thought frantically, rushing over (and almost tripping on the snow), to check on her sibling.
“…His stats are fine…why isn’t he getting up?” She pondered, her vision showing that everything was A-Okay with her twin, deciding to give him just a little jab with her foot, to try and entice him to get up.
”C’mon loser, I didn’t even throw it that hard! Geddup!”
…Nothing.
“Whelp, might as well make use of the time…” And with that, she cupped her hands, and started burying her sibling in the snow. Albeit slowly, but progress was progress.
~
“Whew! With how good I buried him, I could cover up a murder pretty damn well if I wanted to!…Not that I would, of course.” She thought to herself, looking at the snow pile that was her…unconscious? Sleeping, sibling? What-what could you even call this?
“Well whatever this could be classified as, he ain’t getting up anytime soon.”
“Wha-Wha-ta did-a you do?!” A familiar voice called out from behind her, Crazy turned her head to spot Luigi, who had a shocked expression on his face, probably from witnessing a cover-up for a murder.
”L-Luigi! Buddy!” She stammered a bit nervously, fiddling with the white glove on her left hand, “…How long have ya been standin’ there for?”
”Long-a enough to see you-a burying Masta Hand!” He replied, Crazy sighed, and rubbed the back of her neck.
”We’re just playin around bud, you have Mario, you should know the weird shit siblings do right?”
He made a face, but quickly accepted the reasoning, scurrying off to somewhere far from Crazy, which made her sigh a relief.
”Damn that was close, anyways I’m just gonna go inside and make myself some hot chocolate-“
She stepped on her brother’s snow grave accidentally, and a large hand like shape emerged from it, scooping Crazy up, and flinging her a distance away like a wet rag, laughing mysteriously at his sister’s bloodcurdling scream.
”YOU LITTLE BITCH-!” She screamed, being thrown a good few hundred feet away.
”HA! VICTORY!” He replied, in his classic announcer’s voice, shifting back to his human form and shaking the rest of the snow covering him, and nonchalantly walking back into the Smash Mansion.
Snow in July was still weird as all can be to him though.
~
”Kid I literally told you to shovel and salt the pathways, and what do I catch you doing? Paying off two kids to do it for you, seriously?!”
The teenage assistant didn’t say anything verbally, but did throw his hands up as if to say “What did you expect out of me?!”
“You do realize this is coming out of your paycheck, right?”
Joker whipped his head around to stare at his boss in disbelief.
Good grief.