Work Text:
DTO quietly sighed to himself as the sun started to set before his eyes. It was that part of the school year when everyone seemed to have their own routines for better or for worse, days turned into weeks without any sort of interruption. The only difference was the change of the season, days were getting shorter and nights were getting longer. He continued to skim through a myriad of creative writing assignments that still needed to be graded, all of varying degrees of quality and subject matter. He closed his eyes for a moment and picked one at random to get a head start on reading, his eyes promptly opened to a paper signed Wakita, Nakaji , and blinked. While he didn’t like to admit it, he eventually developed a preference for the work of certain students and looked forward to their submitted assignments. He thought Nakaji’s written work was especially unique, albeit moody in a juvenile way. His eyes slowly scanned the paper until his trance-like state was interrupted by a knock on his door.
“Door’s open.” DTO stacked the collection of papers neatly and placed them back in a folder as the door to his classroom opened. Coincidentally, the author of the work he was reading quietly entered and shut the door behind him. DTO quickly raised his eyebrows and gestured for Nakaji to have a seat. He remembered he asked if he could speak to him at the end of the day, but he didn’t specify any reason for doing so - that part worried him a little. Nakaji was a rock, but his demeanor was noticeably different, something was obviously bothering him. The teenager hesitantly sat at an adjacent desk, yet it looked like he would stand back up at any minute.
"I remember you wanted to talk to me, so, talk to me, kid." Fantastic way to start, DTO sarcastically scolded himself, really showing your tenure . Nakaji hid his scowl behind the hand-knit protection of his scarf, but it wasn't how he usually hid his face to come off as cooler and more mysterious than he actually was. Wait, duh .
"Whatever you want to talk to me about can’t get you in trouble, by the way. I wouldn't do that to you." Perhaps that reassurance will help him open up a little and relax.
"You wouldn't understand - I should go actually, I’m sorry for wasting your time -" His voice was muffled, but DTO thought it sounded like it could break at any moment. He began to shuffle out until he caught his teacher gesturing for him to stay.
"You'd be surprised. You forget I was also seventeen. Can’t be anything I haven’t heard of," DTO had to stop himself from adding a self-deprecating comment about how old he was, "It's just between you and me. I promise." He tried to soften his expression the best way he could. He knew the kind of assignments Nakaji was turning in, it had to be enough to show that he trusted him one way or another.
"Do you, Sensei?" Nakaji sounded terrified, the facade didn’t fool him.
Poor fuckin' kid .
"Nothing leaves this classroom. You should know that by now. Sit, you’re not wasting my time at all." DTO watched carefully as Nakaji sat back down, his fingers curled around the top of his scarf, and he gently pulled it away from his mouth so his voice could be understood, but immediately closed it before any sound could come out. Instead, he fidgeted with his scarf before trying again to push himself out of suspended motion. On instinct, DTO handed his student a sleeve of tissues, which Nakaji held in a tight grip. DTO felt constricted by Nakaji’s lack of detail. He didn’t want to pry or badger, but he wanted to help so much that it started to hurt, so much so that he started to fear the worst.
“Let me try to help, at least,” DTO stood up from his desk and approached him, “Just - take your time. Did something happen recently?” He softened his voice, just enough to signify that he had the best intentions he could possibly have. Nakaji quietly huffed and shook his head no. It’s a start , he thought to himself.
“Is it something that’s been bothering you for a while? I’ve noticed you’ve been -” He had to be careful with his words, “ Skittish lately.” Nakaji nodded yes before breathing out and rubbing his eyes under his glasses. A sharp, tense silence filled the classroom for a moment as DTO hesitated on what to ask next. Nakaji slowly let go of his scarf and placed his hands in his lap, a stray tear escaped and trickled down his cheek.
“I think I might be gay.”
DTO finally understood, in fact, he understood incredibly well. He gently placed a hand on Nakaji’s shoulder to console him. In an unforeseen turn of events, He began to sob profusely as he curled his body inwards for protection. His heart sank, it didn’t help that his student’s sobs sounded so pained. He figured the best thing to do was patiently wait for Nakaji to calm down, but he couldn’t eliminate his paternal urgency. He gently squeezed Nakaji’s shoulder to try to get his attention. The warm pressure sent a jolt down his spine, but it didn’t startle him. A few minutes passed, and Nakaji finally lifted his head, took off his glasses, and loosened his grip on the now-crumpled sleeve of tissues to carefully dry his eyes.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into me - I didn’t know where else to go,” Nakaji finally spoke up again, “I guess I just couldn’t take it anymore.” His body slumped over as he rested his head against his folded arms and pathetically murmured something unintelligible. DTO waited for a moment in case Nakaji had anything else to add, only to be met with another attempt to hide his face. The similarity in body language was almost uncanny, it felt like looking into a mirror and being met with his teenage self. The silence between them returned for a moment, but it was noticeably less tense, rather it felt patient. DTO sighed and took his chance.
“Can I tell you something?” He asked, Nakaji slowly opened himself back up and blinked. The sadness in his eyes made him choke up a little, but he had to keep his composure together, even if it got increasingly difficult.
“Sorry -” He immediately apologized, which was returned with a quiet shrug, “It’s just -” He quickly blinked and took a deep breath, “Look. Between you and me: I have a husband, and before that, I realized I was gay around the same age as you.”
Nakaji blinked as his look of exhaustion turned into disbelief, “...Really?”
DTO nodded sagely and tried to grin and put on a brave face, “I know what it’s like to think that you have nowhere else to go, it’s scary, and it’s okay to feel scared. But you don’t have to isolate yourself -” Nakaji hesitantly interrupted his teacher.
“Wait - uhm, can I ask what it was like telling your family about it?” He asked, DTO blinked in response. He didn’t have to think about that part of his life for a while, the exact memory actually escaped him for a moment.
“Y’know, I didn’t even think about telling my parents or anyone else until I graduated and picked a university. So, you at least have one step ahead of me. If that’s what you’re planning on doing, of course,” He replied, slightly matter-of-factly, until it dawned on him that he could possibly be assuming too much, “But - there’s no rush, also. I probably should’ve asked if you think it’d be safe to bring it up at home.” He quickly shook his head and scolded himself internally.
“I don’t know if I wanna yet. I mean - it’s just my dad. He always tells me that he loves me, so I guess it’d be fine if I told him.” Nakaji shrugged, hands idly returning to fidgeting with the streaky ends of his scarf.
“What about the people in the band you’re in?” DTO figured it couldn’t hurt to ask one more question, it was becoming more apparent that Nakaji was getting more comfortable with talking.
“My friends? Well, uh, I trust them the most, so they’d be fine with it, I think. I guess I could tell them if I wanted to.”
“See, there you go,” DTO smiled, “You’re living in a time where it’s getting easier to be who you are, believe it or not. Even if it doesn’t look like it right now, I promise it’s not as bad as you think.” He took a deep breath to pull himself back together. Afterward, he turned his head to notice the clock near the door, and neither of them realized how much time had gone by.
“I’m not trying to kick you out, by the way, but are you alright heading out by yourself?” He asked, “I keep forgetting how it gets dark out so early.”
Nakaji shrugged, “Nah, I’m okay, my friend should be waiting for me anyway, we usually practice together.” He idly stretched his legs in his seat before getting ready to stand up. That’s a relief, having someone who will always wait for you . DTO nodded before standing up from his seat to grab his jacket. They gathered their belongings in the now finally comfortable silence, Nakaji stopped himself before grabbing the door.
“Oh - before I forget: thank you, Sensei -” DTO quickly raised his eyebrows to politely interject.
“You don’t need to keep calling me Sensei, DTO’s fine.” To his surprise, Nakaji smiled with the addition of a chuckle escaping his lips.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you smile before either - unless you just hide it under that scarf all the time.” He couldn’t help but try to gently take advantage of the comfortable vulnerability. To his surprise, he wasn’t met with any teenage snark, just a quiet nod and a promise to see him tomorrow as he walked out the door. The tension in DTO’s shoulders finally eroded as a stray tear trickled down his cheek, which he promptly dried with his arm before making sure all his needed belongings were gathered.