Chapter Text
Ekko wasn’t necessarily a stranger to loneliness, but he was just now starting to discover what it really meant to be lonely.
After the funerals in memory of the dead in Piltover and Zaun, people in both cities rolled up their sleeves and began rebuilding. With some caution from those in the upper city, the survivors had pushed to remove barriers between them and open up to collaboration.
One of the first steps had been to give some representatives from the Lanes, including Sevika, a seat on the council.
He and his Firelights had immediately offered to help with the reconstruction, but there was so much work to be done that it was difficult for them to get together and talk to each other as they once had. After all, the coordinated actions against Silco were long gone, and the safety of the streets was mainly increasing, so the children in their small community didn't need to worry as much as before about the dangers in the outside world.
Vi was staying with Caitlyn at the Kiramman residence to participate in the efforts by coordinating them from above and had very little time to meet with him.
And Jinx… well, even if there had been something between them when he had gone to save her life and convince her to join the fight, it didn't matter now. She was dead anyway, and he would never get to see her again.
He slipped into a busy little street in Zaun, hands in his pockets and a pebble he kept kicking absentmindedly.
He needed to reflect, and that balcony was the best place to do so.
The image of Powder- not his Powder, she would never be his- came back to him, causing him to stumble over his own steps.
Powder taking his face between calloused hands.
Powder kissing his lips with a gentleness unknown to him.
Powder snuggling up to him.
He rubbed his eyes to banish those scenes from his mind.
Sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving something behind
He knew he had made the right choice when he returned to the correct universe to fight the Noxians and make things right. But the pain he felt every time he was reminded of what he had left behind was unbearable sometimes.
And now that the fight was over, he didn't even feel like he had made any great leaps forward.
He let his feet carry him to his destination without looking around or meeting anyone’s curious glance.
When he reached it, he found that sitting on the balcony there was a girl.
For a moment, he thought it was Jinx, and his knees threatened to crumble under him. Then his vision brightened, revealing thick lime-green hair pulled back into two pigtails, a tanned complexion, and olive-colored eyes staring intently at a large red gun arranged lazily on long legs.
His movement alerted her to his presence, and she immediately stood up worriedly.
"Um, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you."
"Ah, no, it's all right. Is this your place? I can leave if you need me to."
"Stay, don’t worry. It's not my place, I just come to visit it for the view."
He sat down on the balcony, his legs dangling toward the void, and leaned his head against the wall. The girl stood still beside him for a few seconds before cautiously sitting back down.
"By the way, I'm Zeri." She extended a hand toward him. He shook it with a small smile, almost a grimace, the slightest ripple of his lips.
"Ekko."
"Are you the one who saved Zaun and Piltover from the Herald?" she suddenly yelled excitedly, her curious eyes searching for some sign of heroism on his face.
"I helped, yes."
"my aunt told me everything… she stayed to fight, you know? I wanted to stay, too, but my father sent both my mother and me away to safety. And now he’s-" She didn’t finish the sentence, but the suddenly collapsed mood gave him a sense of what had happened to the poor man.
"I'm sorry. I know what it feels like to lose someone important." His thoughts inevitably went to Powder but also to Mylo, Claggor, and Benzo. He closed his eyes and sighed.
They sat there silently for a while, contemplating the soft noises of the city below.
"so... what brings you here?"
"as I said earlier, it’s the place where I come to think." Zeri nodded without shifting her gaze from the buildings in front of her.
"You're going to have a lot to do, I guess, with rebuilding and stuff like that."
"mmh mmh. That's why I like to take a moment to myself here. Down there among the people, sometimes it's..."
"...too much?"
"Yeah, too much."
"Well, the reconstructions will end sooner or later. I'm helping, too, you know?" She raised two fingers toward an unlit lamp and waited a moment without anything happening. Then, a spark appeared on the tips of her phalanges, and the light turned on.
"Woah...you have magic!"
"I'm not very good, I still have much to practice. But when the work is done, I’ll seek someone to help me."
"I’m sure you’ll succeed." Zeri chuckled, nodding. Then she stared at him for a moment and gently put a hand on his shoulder.
"you, too, can begin to really live, you know?"
"Me?"
"Yes! You’re a hero, Ekko. As far as I know, heroes either die or live long enough to know rest. And who deserves it more than you?" she smiled, amused. "Come on now...what do you want to do next?"
The question left him puzzled.
For the first time since he had begun commanding the Firelights, he found himself thinking about a possible future and not just the present. He no longer needed just to survive. He no longer had the task of protecting his people. Now, he had to learn how to really live, to create something that could last his whole life, something worth continuing to exist for.
He felt his hands shake, his lips part, and his eyes fill with tears. Clasping his finger against his knees, he clenched his jaw to avoid crying at a simple question.
What was living to him? He had known only death and war, terror and despair. What did he know about peace? What did he know about what it meant to have a desire and to embark on a path to achieve it?
"I have always thought of the future as something for others, like what could I do to improve the lives of the people of Zaun? Where should I aim? It wasn't about me, you know? It was for everyone, I suppose, including me, but I had never seriously considered what to do with my life."
"Um, so you have no idea?"
"I touched a future that I never even remotely considered could come true. Then I had to leave it behind, and now it's all I can think about. And I can never have it, so now all it has left in me is pure emptiness."
"Are you sure you can't get it back?"
Powder's relaxed face flashed in front of him, her candid smile and cheerful giggle reaching gently to his ears.
It was immediately replaced by Jinx's harder one.
Yet in those pained eyes, in that bitter grimace, in those hands clasped around the bomb that should have taken her life, he found beauty.
Even when he had fought her on the bridge that night, he had not been able to avoid feeling wonder at her.
The image flew away as if blown by the wind, leaving Zeri's worried face in its place.
"no. One was never really mine, and the other is gone."
"Ah, now I get it. What are their names?" a sad smile crossed his lips.
"Powder." the girl waited a moment for him to add another name, but when he said nothing more, she sighed sympathetically, realizing that he still couldn’t speak the name of that who had died in that terrible war.
"Well, dude...I know it all seems like the end now. But there are a lot of Powders out there! You don't have to think about it right now, but who's to say a future with one of them isn't out there?"
And Ekko knew that was not what she meant. It couldn't be. But an idea still began to form in his head.
A dangerous idea.
"oh... you're right."
"of course I'm right!"
He and Heimerdinger had traveled to another reality where things went differently than in their world.
There had to be other universes like that, right? Other little changes should have been able to form completely different worlds. After all, Jayce Talis wasn’t with them, right? So he had to have ended up in a different place, in a different reality than they had.
There had to be a world perfect for him out there, right?
His train of thought suddenly stopped.
"I can't. I-I have responsibilities here."
"And what about it? Responsibilities and love can coexist, you know?"
"Not if I did what I want to do."
"What would you like to do? Leave?" Zeri mocked, but when Ekko didn’t respond, her smirk disappeared "...oh."
He lowered his head and sighed.
"I know I can't do that. I know I have to-"
"why not?"
He raised his face. The girl had a determined look painted on her face, and her arms crossed over her chest as if she wanted to convince him that this was going to be the right decision.
"I have to help rebuild, see that people don't get mistreated by the Pilties, bring the community real rights, stop the chem-barons from taking too many liberties...I can't just walk away like nothing happened."
"Well, I'm not saying that," Zeri shook her head slightly "But you saved everyone, Ekko. You're a hero. No one would resent you if you decided to chase after your dreams. I think Zaun can manage without you."
He gave a slight smile.
A small hope lit up in his chest.
Did he really want to drop everything and go on a mad chase for the perfect world around the universe? And even if he felt like doing so, how would he manage to reconstruct an anomaly that he could use to travel from one reality to another without Hextech?
"It’s risky."
"some things are worth the risk. This Powder, or whoever you're thinking about right now... is she worth it?"
"yes." he didn’t hesitate for a second to answer.
Right there, at that exact moment, he realized that the idea was now in his head, and no one was going to take it away from him.
So why not give it a try?
He heard Zeri stand up beside him.
"Come on! I now have to help you with this, my dear sir," she proclaimed, reaching out a hand to him. Ekko grabbed it and felt himself being pulled to his feet.
"thank you, Zeri."
"You're welcome. So? Where are we heading now?"
⏱︎ ⏱︎ ⏱︎
There wasn’t a soul at the Academy at that time of the night.
Most of the students were either rebuilding or still out of town after leaving, and the few who remained were certainly not hanging around Professor Heimrdinger's abandoned lab.
"Tell me again, what is it that we’re doing here, please?" muttered Zeri, looking around suspiciously.
"I need a space to work on my project."
"Your project is that thing in your hand?"
Before sneaking into the Academy, Ekko had dragged her to retrieve the Z-Drive, which he was now holding like a treasure.
"Something like that, yes."
"oook...are you ever going to explain to me what this ‘something like that’ is?"
"I don't know."
Heimerdinger had created three external reactors that used the Z-Drive's power to form an Anomaly large and strong enough to successfully send him home. He now aimed to modify their invention to make it a ‘portable Anomaly opener.’
A crazy idea, most likely.
Destined to fail, especially without the help of Powder or the professor.
But he wanted to try.
He had to try.
"Are we going to do experimental stuff? Will we need my electricity?"
"Maybe, I have no idea."
He didn’t know precisely how Heimerdinger had created the reactors to stabilize the machine, but he hoped he could figure it out and then shrink it. After all, he was already starting with a good foundation after all their work in the other dimension.
At last, they entered the laboratory, and Zeri stood watching spellbound.
"Woah... this is so cool."
"Yeah." he turned on the light, and the machines began to clatter as if they had been asleep for years and were just now figuring out how to wake up.
He placed the Z-Drive on a table and observed it briefly. He retrieved from a bag some of the notes he had jotted down the moment he had returned to the correct universe so as not to forget anything and read them, hoping for some miraculous insight.
It didn’t come, of course.
"I'm starting to think you’re not actually thinking about leaving." Zeri murmured as she approached him and curiously studied the contraption before her.
"well ... I do, but not in the sense that you think."
"and in what sense do you want it then?"
Ekko sighed.
"The Powder I was telling you about? I met her in a different reality, one parallel to ours... a little while ago, because of the Arcane, I traveled to this other dimension where things had gone differently, where the future was different... I had to leave her behind to come back here, of course."
"and now you want to go back?"
"Well, not necessarily in that world. But I think there are, like, a million dimensions out there, and maybe one might take me, you know?" Zeri stared at him for a few seconds in silence, clearly shocked by the revelation, but then shrugged.
"you’re insane."
"If you want to leave, you’re free to go."
"Joke on you, I happen to love batshit crazy people, so I want to see how all this will turn out. Plus, I think a little distraction from everything going on out there will be good for us."
He couldn’t help but nod.
"you know ... you took it pretty well, all things considered."
"Well, I know magic, I know what its potential is—in part at least. And I still think you're right to seek happiness, although I can admit that maybe it's not how I would have chosen to do so." she chuckled, adjusting one of her pigtails.
"then let's get to work..."
"do you even know where to start?"
"uhm, no?"
⏱︎ ⏱︎ ⏱︎
The weeks continued in a state of quiet tranquillity.
Zeri and Ekko worked all day on the reconstruction work, sometimes together, sometimes with other people, sometimes alone. But every evening, punctually, they would meet at the entrance to the passageway that overlooked the Academy and lock themselves in the laboratory to experiment.
The help of the girl's powers had been essential at times, and more than once, he found himself thinking about how much he owed her for getting him this far.
It had taken him a while to get any kind of result, but he could say he was well on his way with the work at the end of the first month. He had rebuilt the machine and had managed to stabilize it. Now, he just had to figure out how to shrink it enough to carry it around.
"how exactly are you going to figure out where you need to go?" the girl asked him one evening as they were having drinks at a club in Zaun.
He thought about it for a while.
"Well, I don't know for sure. I think the Arcane is very intuitive, and I hope it’ll send me to the right place. Or maybe I'll have to make more attempts, I don't know… that's why I want a portable version I can use multiple times."
"But, like…what would your perfect universe even look like?"
"I don't know yet ... I guess it doesn't have to be perfect necessarily."
"You're going into this with too many doubts, you know? You risk things going bad."
"I know."
But it was too late now. His brain had already decided he would face the unknown, and he couldn’t backtrack after all he had done. He needed to find out if there was a place in the universe where he would finally feel complete.
"I admire you for that. I don't know if I would have the balls to do it if I were you."
As time went on, he realized that Zeri was no longer just a colleague. She had become a true friend with whom he had confided more than a few times. And she, in return, did the same for him, talking to him about her life, her family, and her dreams.
Sometimes, they climbed to the roof of the Academy to admire the moon's pale rays gently caressing the still-constructing buildings. Sometimes, they had a drink. Other times, they cried.
"I think I would love every version of her," he admitted one night, his eyes glazed over, and his hands clenched into fists over his stomach.
"you never told me if you met her in this dimension."
"yes."
"And did you love her here?"
"I wish I hadn't, but I did in the end."
"and where is she now?"
"among the stars, free from the world that tried to suffocate her."
"I'm sorry."
"maybe it's for the best."
"I've never fallen in love with anyone, you know?"
"do you think it’ll happen to you sooner or later?"
"I don't know. But if it ever happens, I hope to find someone who loves me as much as you love your Powder, Ekko."
In another life, Zeri's friendship would probably have been enough to keep him in his dimension. Her energy, courage, and drive would have made him want to be a better person and convinced him to help carry out the peace project between Zaun and Piltover.
But in his world, not even everything they shared was enough to change his mind.
One evening- just a typical, unassuming evening with nothing special about it- he finally managed to stabilize his machine, a modified version of the Z-Drive that didn’t need external power to run.
He couldn’t do a trial run: if he used it, he would hopefully be sent directly to another universe or die trying.
"We did it." he murmured, staring at the blue light that moved incessantly inside its glass cage.
"Are you serious!?" yelled Zeri excitedly, slipping out of the makeshift cot she had made for herself in the lab to cope with Ekko's long nights of work and settling down next to him with an ecstatic look on her face.
"I think so. Once activated, an anomaly should appear to drag me into the Arcane."
"so you're leaving now?" he glanced at her suddenly saddened gaze and sighed.
"Well, not right now. I have a few things to take care of before I leave. But yes."
The girl nodded understandingly. Then she returned to smiling openly and passed an arm around his neck, holding him in a small hug.
"We definitely need to celebrate then! They just reopened a club near my house that plays music all night! We deserve to relax a bit, and what better way than to go party and get wild before you leave?" Ekko rippled his lips in a slight smile and nodded.
"Why not? Let’s go!"
⏱︎ ⏱︎ ⏱︎
The first people he said goodbye to were the members of the Firelights.
He asked them to meet where it all began, under the branches of their tree, and announced to them that he was leaving. That, in all likelihood, they would never be able to see each other again.
There were many questions, mostly left unanswered.
There were kind smiles.
There were also tears.
When he proposed that Scar take his place as leader of the group, the two ended up embracing for what felt like forever, wrapped in the stillness of the first light of dawn. Bright-eyed, his right-hand man accepted the role, promising to do everything to keep the Firelights compact and continue to serve Zaun.
"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing," he confessed to his friend as the others left for work. "I'm afraid I'm letting everyone down."
"Don't say that, Ekko. You are the soul of our wacky family, and of course, we’ll always want you with us. But if there's something we want even more, it's to see you happy… and if you need to leave to be happy, then it means we'll support you in that, too. And we’ll think of you from afar, wherever you are."
He then went toward Piltover to the Kieramman house, where he knew he would find Vi.
His friend was alone in the house at the time. Caitlyn had to go to the City Council to discuss some work she was supposed to supervise, so her girlfriend had decided to take a day for herself, a day to relax and stay on the sidelines.
"Ekko? Hey! Long time no see. How are you?" Indeed, the last time they had spoken was at the little shrine he had created in memory of Vander and Jinx, which was so similar to the one he had seen in the other dimension that he had cried like a baby for a long time after.
"could be better, to be honest. And you?" he grimaced.
"I haven't gotten there yet. But Cait is here with me, and that helps."
"yeah, I get it. I’m happy for you."
"What did you want to tell me?"
He tortured his hands for a while before he dared to say anything.
"Vi, I’m leaving."
"ah, for real? To go where? And when are you coming back?"
"I'm thinking of making a one-way trip, actually." the girl's crystalline eyes pointed at him stormily.
"what do you mean?"
"I can't stay here anymore ... I can't go on like this. I need to disconnect from everything and everyone and look for something different.
"I don’t get it, Ekko… what are you talking about?"
And in his mind, he wanted to keep everything to himself, to tell her that he was just going on a trip around Runeterra, and to keep her in blissful ignorance that would preserve her mind.
But he just… couldn’t.
Vi was important to him; he didn’t feel like hiding from her his plan to get away from that reality, to travel the universe in search of the girl he had lost, of a world where things were better than theirs.
And so he told her everything.
And for a moment, he thought she would drop everything to go with him.
Instead, she smiled resignedly.
"I get it. I'm happy for you, Ekko."
"Don't you want to follow me?"
"More than anything else" she whispered, wiping a tear with the back of her hand. "But I'm building something good here with Caitlyn. I don't want to leave her. I love her with all my being; she's the only one who keeps me sane. And to be honest, I don't know if I could see people from another dimension looking like the people I love but completely different from them and accept it. You're better at that than I am."
"Are you mad at me? For what I’m about to do?"
"no, I understand. And I hope you can find what you’re looking for."
They hugged each other tightly. Their whole complicated lives were intertwined as one in that moment, as if they could feel each other's pain.
Then they split up.
Ekko looked back only once before leaving Vi and what was left of his childhood in Zaun behind him.
The last person he said goodbye to was Zeri.
They had not rendezvoused as they did every night at the entrance to the secret passage to the Academy, but somehow, they found themselves there anyway.
"I guess this is where we part ways."
"Yeah."
"make sure...if you see another version of me, say hello, okay? If you ever come here again, I want you to tell me all the similarities and differences between us… for science." Ekko laughed heartily, the first time all day.
"you know I’ll miss you?"
"Of course, you’ll miss me! And I’ll miss you, little hero."
"When I'm gone ... destroy everything we did in the lab, okay?"
"Of course. We don't want some fool to get his hands on your studies."
"And then go meet my friends, the Firelights. I'm sure they’ll gladly welcome you as a new member if you ask them." Zeri smiled genuinely.
"I'll give it some thought."
They said goodbye to each other only with a small hand gesture.
He didn’t reach out to hug her, and she simply ran opposite from the passageway toward who knows what nighttime adventure.
He realized for the first time then that he was no good at saying goodbye.
⏱︎ ⏱︎ ⏱︎
In the laboratory, everything was set.
He just needed the courage to leave.
He looked around for a moment.
He let his gaze run past the window, to the rooftops of Piltover and the crumbling houses of Zaun, to the sky quilted with tiny, almost invisible stars, to the place where he had been born and which he would now abandon, perhaps forever.
He took a deep breath and began to count.
Three...
Two...
One…
He pulled the cord