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One hour ago Joey’s life used to be simple, it was get up, go to his construction job and go home. Boring, but simple.
He misses that because one hour ago the metal pipe he’d been carrying on his site had suddenly melted in his hands and from there everything else began to go downhill.
He’d ran home because what else were you supposed to do in those kinds of situations? Except the doorknob melted in his hand as well and thank god the wood didn’t because he wasn’t sure how much he’d panic if it did.
Not that he wasn’t panicking. A lot. He spent about twenty minutes staring at his hands and muttering over and over again that this couldn’t be happening.
And then he melted the ring of metal around his coffee table, at which point the window closest to him shattered and he screamed at the creature that now stood next to him.
It almost looked human enough except for the way the skin hung off him, tight enough to see bones and like all the internal organs had been sucked out to leave just a hollow stomach that made Joey sick just looking at it.
“What the fuck-” It was all he got out because the next thing that happened was the door – with no handle still, Joey thought idly – was being broken down and a tall man stepped into the room and trained a gun on the human-like creature.
“Step away.” The man’s voice boomed, not wavering and Joey wasn’t sure which one of them he was talking to but scrambled back anyway.
The gun in the man’s hand fired towards the creature but it was gone, back out the window and towards the streets below, before the blast could hit him. Instead it left a gaping hole in Joey’s apartment that meant he was never going to get that deposit back.
“What the hell,” Joey croaked out again, shock making him feel cold suddenly, “That was an alien.”
He kept staring at the hole in the wall and staring at the space the creature had been and next to him the taller man sighed.
“Blame Roswell. We’re still cleaning up their mess.”
Joey turned to him so fast he felt he got whiplash, “Roswell was real?”
“Roswell is all Coulson’s fault.” The man muttered like Joey knew what was going. Which he didn’t. Aliens were real and had been in his apartment building along with a strange tall muscular man who was built like a tree.
Joey wasn’t going to tell him that part.
~~
“You’re an alien,” Skye, as she had introduced herself when Joey stepped into the building, stated without preamble.
“What?” Joey jerked back, running into the agent who had been in his house – Mack, he reminded himself, the man had introduced himself as Mack – and craning his head to look back at Mack as if to ask if Skye was for real.
Mack shot him an apologetic look and rested a hand on his shoulder, “It doesn’t get easier from here.”
Skye snorted, “But it does get fun!”
“Let the guy get used to it Tremors.” Mack sighed and then squeezed Joey’s shoulder before his hand fell away.
Joey might have held up a hand to stop them from talking so they could actually explain what was going except right now his hands were covered in some kind of goo that Mack had dumped on them to ‘stop him from melting his car’.
He looked miserably at the goo and then back up at Skye’s smiling face.
“When my mom said we were illegal immigrants this was not what I was expecting.” Joey bemoaned, wishing his mother and father were at least still around so he could talk to them but they had passed away when he was in his teens.
“Don’t worry,” Skye assured him, “We can get you set up properly on Earth. Hey,” Skye snapped her fingers as she came to an idea, “You can work for us.”
“What?” Joey’s brow furrowed and he felt another overwhelming shock coming on.
“What?” Mack said next to him, staring at Skye like she’d gone crazy.
She just grinned at them both, “No this is a good idea. Trust me.”
Mack dropped his face into his hands and the sinking feeling in Joey’s stomach got larger.
“Just so I’m clear….who are you guys exactly?” Joey asked, floundering for answers.
“We’re the Men in Black. Trademark pending.” Skye reached out to pat Joey on the shoulder, “Coulson wanted to call us S.H.I.E.L.D. originally but he got vetoed and this is cooler.”
“Okay,” Joey agreed, for lack of anything else to say or do. “Can I have my hands back now?” He held them up slightly, none of the goo dripped on to the floor and he wondered how it stayed.
Mack and Skye exchanged a glance that made him regret asking it.
“You have to adapt to your new form first.” Skye told him and then winced at the wording as Joey panicked.
“Please don’t tell me I’m about to grow extra arms or turn green or or…gills.” He looked between Mack and Skye, begging them to contradict him.
“No your species looks a lot like humans, you’ll still look the same.” Skye assured him.
“Oh thank god.” Joey breathed out, shoulders sagging in relief and then he frowned, “So what do I have to adapt to?”
Mack scratched at his beard idly and Joey narrowed his eyes at him.
“Mack?”
The taller man sighed, “You’ll look human but…more like a statue.”
Joey gaped at him, blinking like mad and trying to find something to say.
“Hey,” Skye cut in, “It’s going to be okay, when Mack says that he means that that will be your natural form, but luckily Fitz and Simmons have developed a way for you to shift between that and human.”
He had no idea what a Fitz and Simmons were but if they were there right now Joey could have kissed them in relief.
Skye smiled at him, a softer kind that was more comforting. “This is a lot to deal with,” She told him, “But we’re going to be there every step of the way for you.”
Joey glanced over at Mack, quietly asking if Skye meant it. When he didn’t say anything, just kept staring at Joey, Skye elbowed him.
“Yeah,” Mack finally said, clearing his throat and smiling as well, “I’ll be there.”
Joey relaxed, just a little, and then smiled tightly himself. “So aliens?”
The door behind Skye and Mack opened, showing a large white room where creatures of various sizes and skin types and forms wandered alongside humans.
“Welcome to the Men in Black,” Mack had stepped over to him, his hand resting between Joey’s shoulder blades and he’d leaned down slightly to murmur that in Joey’s ear.
Another time Joey may have thought Mack was hitting on him. For now he was just glad the other man was there.
~~
The second the goo on his hands dissolved from whatever serum that Jemma – the Simmons that Skye and Mack had mentioned before – poured on it Joey watched in quiet horror as what was left was a cooper colour that must have been his skin now.
It looked like metal for certain, like he was one of the living statues that worked in New York and it could just be washed off but when he swiped his thumb against it it felt cold, like actual metal and his heart sank.
“It’ll be okay,” Jemma told him, “We’ve had Magnetonians in the office before.”
“Magne-what?” Joey made a face at the name.
“Your species name,” Jemma explained, “Technically it’s,” She broke off into something foreign that Joey couldn’t really make out, just a bunch of noises he assumed meant something, “But Coulson let Skye give them an updated human name and she was on an X-men kick.” Jemma sighed and shook her head, looking over at Joey like he’d understand the woe in that.
“Right.” Joey stated and tried his best to make it look like he got it.
The door to the right opened and Mack stepped in, dressed immaculately in a suit much like the one he’d been wearing when they first met. Joey could only tell it was a different one by the fact that it lacked the flecks of Joey’s apartment door Mack’s suit had had on it before.
Unless they had a super-fast dry cleaning facility. A super-fast alien dry cleaning facility.
Joey bit the inside of this cheek so he didn’t start laughing hysterically at the whole situation.
“How we doing?” Mack asked as he came over and Joey shot him a look somewhere between pleading and annoyed. Mack raised both his eyebrows at it, “That good?”
“My arms are metal.” Joey said miserably, “I’ll have to quit construction and become a living statue in New York.”
“That’s…lofty goals.” Mack pressed his lips together and Joey could tell he was trying not to laugh at him. “Or you can just let Simmons here do her magic-”
“Science.” Jemma interrupted, “It’s plain and simple science.”
“And you’ll be good in no time.” Mack went on like he hadn’t heard her.
Joey brightened a bit at that but then accidentally melted one of the brass buttons on Jemma’s shirt. “Sorry,” He said, sulking a bit and pulling his hands away.
“That’s quite all right,” Jemma assured him, “I should have known to switch shirts. It’s natural for someone who’s just adapting to their new from to not be able to control it right.”
“Why did this happen to me now?” Joey asked, not really looking for an answer but he missed Jemma and Mack exchanging a glance by looking at his hands like they could tell him something anyway.
“We were actually wondering the same thing,” Mack said, crossing his arms, “Usually you’re form would alter in its teen years unless you went through some kind of trauma and repressed it.”
Joey winced, “My parents died.” He mumbled and saw Mack and Jemma’s gaze soften slightly.
“That would do it then,” Jemma told him kindly, catching his eyes and smiling brightly, “You’ll adjust though and then I promise by the time we’re done you’ll be able to walk through an antique shop without melting a thing.”
She left the room with the blood sample she’d taken from him, leaving Mack and Joey staring at the space she’d been in.
“Do I look like the kind of guy who goes antiquing?” Joey asked, bewildered.
“You look like the kind of guy who belongs in Times Square.” Mack joked and Joey would have swiped at him if he hadn’t been so worried that would hurt Mack.
On the other hand, he eyed Mack quietly, the guy really was built so maybe he wouldn’t feel a thing.
“What are you thinking?” Mack asked, noticing Joey’s staring.
“Nothing,” Joey said instead and looked away. “So if I do join you guys do I get a suit too?”
Mack huffed in amusement, a breathy kinda laugh that wasn’t quite a chuckle, “I’ll tell Coulson to find one in your size.”
“The same guy you’re blaming Roswell on?”
“It’s his fault, trust me.”
The problem, Joey decided, was that he really did.
~~
It took two weeks before he could be around metal and not melt it, mostly due to Skye’s coaching.
They took a break with some beers later that day when he’d lasted around a metal cabinet for a full twenty four hours and hadn’t even left a dent.
“I took a lot longer to get used to my form.” Skye told him, taking a sip of her beer.
Joey looked over at her, picking at the label of his beer, “Do you know what you are?”
“Nope,” Skye snorted, “Coulson just picked me up one day after I hacked the place. Didn’t even expect me to be an alien. I didn’t expect me to be one either. It just happened during a fight one day with my old partner. Nothing in the database has anything like me listed and apparently my parents just dropped me off on earth, so,” Skye shrugged, “Harry Potter eat your heart out.”
Joey nearly choked on his beer at that and Skye took another sip of hers, eyes twinkling in amusement.
“Hey,” Joey asked when he had a sudden thought, “Whatever happened to that alien that attacked me and why did it attack me?”
“Oh,” Skye winced, “That’s my old partner Ward. He kinda went turncoat and then ended up on another planet and became host to an alien we also haven’t classified and now he runs around killing any aliens he finds. Like Jack the Ripper meets ET.”
This time Joey did choke on his beer, “What?!”
“So you do want to apply to the MIB right?” Skye went on like she hadn’t heard him, “Because Mack needs a partner since mine – Trip that is, not Ward – is back from vacation and also he’s single.” She shot him a knowing look.
“Can we go back to the guy who’s trying to kill me?” Joey asked weakly.
Skye took another sip of beer and shrugged, “You get used to it.”
That didn’t make him feel any better.
~~
The first thing that Joey said when he met Coulson was, “You don’t look old enough to have caused Roswell.”
Coulson looked bemused by that, “Is Mack still telling people that?”
Joey nodded, trying not to groan and take that back.
“I’m flattered he still thinks so,” Coulson said and then rested his hands on his desk, “So Skye seems to think you can be a valuable asset. You can of course take the entry exams to join the MIB or we can have you relocated and you can live your life how you see fit.”
Joey looked down at his arms, now back to the proper human skin tone that he remember it to be thanks to Jemma and Skye’s coaching of how he could manage it.
His gaze flickered away and he caught sight of the bustling office below, aliens applying for immigration status and some being brought in for breaking the law. In the midst of it was Mack, sitting at his desk and tinkering with some machine part.
“How hard is the entry exam?” Joey asked and when he looked back over at Coulson there was a smirk on the older man’s face.
“Not hard.”
Joey had a feeling he was lying.
~~
“They set me on fire.” Joey complained, loudly, to Mack that night when the other man stopped by to visit him.
“You don’t look singed.” Mack peered at him, looking him over for anything out of place.
“I turned forms.” Joey sulked, “They still set me on fire. Did they set you on fire on your test?”
Mack shook his head, “Humans go through a different set of training regimes.”
“They set me on fire,” Joey repeated.
“Not getting over that I can see.” Mack sighed, “We still playing games tonight or what.”
Just for that when Joey picked up the controller the first thing he did was switch his characters weapon out with a flamethrower and set Mack’s character on fire.
“Hey hey!” Mack glared at him, “Not cool.”
“I just didn’t want to rob you of the experience.” Joey told him, settling back down on the couch next to Mack, their sides touching and neither of them moved away.
When he went to bed that night he remembered the warmth of Mack next to him more than he remembered being set on fire that day so he called it an improvement before he groaned at realizing just how bad he was beginning to have it.
~~
“No, try this one,” Fitz muttered, shoving a new gun in Joey’s hand and Joey refrained from sighing and shot at the target at the far end, missing wildly and hitting the wall which thankfully had been reinforced to withstand the blast.
“Look more to your left,” Trip told him from his other side, crossing his arms and watching Joey fire again.
He missed but this time got closer to the target.
“Can’t I just melt a metal beam next to the guy and let it drop on him?” Joey asked, staring at the gun in his hand.
Trip and Fitz both looked like they were considering it when Mack walked in and took stock of the whole scene.
“Weapon training going well I take it?” Mack asked, grinning slightly and Joey would have responded except he was gaping at the fact that Mack wasn’t wearing a suit. Instead he was just dressed in jeans and white tank top with a plaid shirt thrown over top and rolled up to show off most of his muscles.
“You can wear things that aren’t suits?” Joey blurted out finally.
“It’s my day off.” Mack shrugged, “Came to find you cause I figured you could use one too.”
Joey took one look at the gun in his hand and then back at Mack, he shoved the gun towards Fitz and rushed over.
“Can we actually go outside?”
“Yeah, thought we could head to Times Square and make a few bucks,” Mack teased.
“Is it too late to quit and relocate?” Joey deadpanned, looking up at the ceiling like it had answers.
“Yup,” Mack clapped him on the shoulder, “You’re stuck with us now.”
He didn’t move his hand away, just slid it down to Joey’s back and pushed him along and Joey missed Trip laughing wildly behind them and collecting some money from Fitz, he was too focused on the fact that he actually was beginning to like being there.
~~
When Joey passed his final exam they threw a party.
Skye and Trip stole a bunch of beers from the aliens down the hall that tasted a little funny and had a weird symbol on the bottle promising it was safe for 65% of the galaxy.
“How do you know if you’re part of the sixty five percent?” Joey asked, staring at the bottle.
“You drink it and hope Simmons doesn’t have to perform some crazy surgery on you to bring you back if you pass out.” Mack told him and Joey couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.
When Jemma grabbed the bottle out of Skye’s hands with a lecture on how it wasn’t safe for her Joey suspected there was actually a story there.
“If I die please don’t tell the world it was because of bad beer.” Joey told Mack.
“Relax,” Mack grinned at him, “We’re partners now, I’ve got your back.” Mack took a sip of his beer and then grinned wider, “Got your front too.”
“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Joey muttered and then downed his beer.
At least when he woke up the next morning it was in his bed and not on one of the slabs in Jemma’s lab.
~~
The whistle from the far end of the room had Joey jerking his head up from where he had just finished pulling on his jacket to complete his new uniform.
“You pull off a suit nicely,” Mack told him, resting against the doorway.
Joey preened a bit at that, shoving the gun Fitz had modified for him in his holster and then patted himself down as if to make sure he had everything.
“Ready?” Mack asked, “We’re patrolling the south side today.”
“Can I drive?” Joey’s eyes lit up as he saw the keys in Mack’s hand and thought about the sleek cars he’d seen in garage.
“Nope,” Mack snorted, “Maybe later.”
They went down to the garage and pulled out into the bright sunlight of the day and the morning traffic.
“The world doesn’t look like it’s changed much,” Joey said with a frown, thinking of everything he’d gone through the last month.
“That’s what we’re here for.” Mack grinned, slipping on his sunglasses like it made him look cooler and Joey mildly hated that it did.
“You were waiting for a line like that.”
Mack shrugged but his smug grin told Joey all he needed to know anyway.
~~
In retrospect Joey should have known their first mission was going to be a disaster by the fact that there was still an alien serial killer on the loose.
They’d reached a house where alarms had sounded in record time after Mack had punched the car into some kind of super speed that Joey didn’t even know it had but was looking forward to trying again later.
Mack had gone in first being the lead agent and Joey had followed nervously after, shifting into his now natural metal form without thinking.
It had been a good thing too because Ward had attacked from the shadows and Joey had only just enough time to shove Mack out of the way as Ward brought down spikes that protruded from his arm suddenly and ended up hitting the metal of Joey’s arm.
The spikes broke off and Ward yelled in his frustration, giving Mack enough time to scramble up and fire his weapon in Ward’s direction as Joey scrambled to grab his.
It’d been too late though because once more Ward was speeding out of the house and away from the scene before either of them could do anything else.
“You good?” Mack asked, looking over at Joey worriedly and Joey breathed out, shifting back into his human form.
“Not a scratch,” He said, looking at his arm where only the clothes had been ripped. “Do I have to pay for the suit?”
Mack chuckled, appreciating the break in tension, “Coulson will take it out of your paycheck.”
“Right,” Joey nodded and ran a hand through his hair, “What about the homeowner are they…?”
“Dead.” Mack frowned, nudging the piece of wall over to reveal the body.
Joey stared at it sadly and hated that he was glad it wasn’t him or Mack also on that floor.
~~
“We need to destress,” Mack told him, shoving the PlayStation controller into Joey’s hands and making his way to the couch.
“I don’t think I can,” Joey stared down at the controller, “So much has happened.” He suddenly began to laugh as the stress of everything hit him. “I’m an alien.”
“A good one,” Mack told him, cutting off more panic and he stepped back to reach over to grab Joey’s shoulders. “Don’t tell Skye but I think you’re my favourite.”
“You’re just saying that because I saved your life today,” Joey joked but it felt a little flat.
Mack shrugged, “Maybe. But I also mean it.”
Joey smiled a little more at that and then sighed, “I’ll get used to this right?”
“You won’t be alone in that,” Mack promised him, catching Joey’s eyes.
“Right. Partners.” Damn attractive partner.
Mack hummed and then without another word he leaned down and kissed Joey.
Joey’s eyes widened, “Is this another way of destressing?”
“It could be,” Mack flashed a grin that was all teeth.
“Did Skye tell you I was attracted to you?”
“It wasn’t that hard to tell. You kept muttering about my muscles when I first brought you in.”
Joey didn’t remember that and he groaned, “That was the shock.”
“So you didn’t mean it,” Mack raised an eyebrow in mock hurt and Joey huffed.
“I meant it but should we be doing this? Aren’t their rules and regulations and what am I saying?” Joey asked right before he pulled Mack down for another kiss.
“Coulson is going to hate this,” Mack said bluntly when the kiss broke and he was still grinning.
“Yeah I can tell you hate the idea,” Joey rolled his eyes, “What is with you and Coulson anyway?”
“Roswell,” Mack said gravely, “I used to just be a mechanic before they recruited me.”
Somehow those things were supposed to make sense but Joey couldn’t connect the dots and didn’t care too as Mack pushed him lightly towards the bed and kissed him again.
It was a whole different world – galaxy – out there now and Joey’s life was alien DNA and an alien serial killer and a secret government organization that was obsessed with wearing suits but on the plus side he could always make a killer living as a statue if none of this worked out.
As he kept kissing Mack though he really hoped it all worked out anyway.