Chapter Text
C h a o s E n s u e s :
Kyle enters the art room as students leave running for the counselor. Kyle had went to the restroom for what he had thought to be five minutes, which was realistically about twenty. In the room was Blobert just standing and laughing Blobert’s ass off (Trying to go more agender pronouns if that makes sense). Jerald was freaking out and throwing the art stools around the room, in which the art teacher was trying to stop him.
Kyle: Dude what the fuck is going on?
Blobert: Pumpkin found his tumblr account
Kyle: And? It’s relatively fine, what’s he so upset about?
Blobert: No, No not that one. The other one
Kyle: What other one?
Blobert: Y’know, the one where called Sedrick from Sophia the First his bitch and simps over the My Little Pony Characters?
Kyle: That’s what his other account holds?
Blobert: Yep. He’s freaking the fuck out over it because so much other shit has happened today, it was the icing to the cake. Blobert laughs
Kyle: I fucking hate Pumpkin
Blobert: Same here
The two fist bump and just watch as the counselor was brought into the room due Jerald’s outburst.
B a n d T h o u g h t s : Band name
*they are in Daemon and Rusty’s kitchen, taking a break from band practice.*
Blobert: Oh shit, y’all got donuts? Fuck yeah
Kyle: I have like some like cold ass toast in my bag from this morning. I don’t think it’s in one of those sandwich bag thingies, what are those called?
Daemon: Dude I told you not to come high to practices anymore
Rusted: Do sandwich baggies have other names? I can’t think of anything other than Zipblock
Kyle: that’s a good question for my YouTube channel
Jerald: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Sorry not you guys… actually you should shut the fuck up Kyle.
Kyle: Jerald’s tweaking more than I am, heh
Blobert: You guys have weird choices in donuts.
*Blobert picks up a custard filled donut from the box and looks at it*
Rusted: Oh yeah, we love the custard donuts in this household. If you got something to say we can take it out in the parking lot
Kyle: you want my piece of bread to put the donut on?
Jerald: Ew, carb stacking.
Kyle: Now you should should shut the fuck up
Daemon: Did he just say should twice?
Rusted: How do you make a texting mistake while speaking?
Jerald: Kyle I’ll fucking fight you, shut the fuck up.
Kyle: We should fist fight!
Jerald: I won the last fight, I beat your ass man.
Kyle: Nuh Uh
Blobert: Both of you shut the fuck up, I need to announce something… This donut is fucking disgusting, I love it
*Kyle and Jerald were now fist fighting on the floor*
Rusted: I don’t know why I’m even here
Daemon: Me neither, these guys could be their own television show… Wait Rusty, I’ve got something. What’s like a word that’s plural that sounds super badass?
Rusty: Armymen, Henchmen, Knights um—
Daemon: Omg that’s it, Custard Toast Henchmen… that’s should be our band name.
Blobert: So fucking lameeeeee, just kidding I like it. It’s a mediocre name for a mediocre band.
Daemon: Right?
*Jerald ended up on top of Kyle overhearing the news while he was fighting Kyle*
Jerald: Wait we decided on a band name finally? Dude what?
Pt.2
Jerald: I still think we should be the Rainbooms!
Kyle: Jerald, you fucking idiot that’s copyrighted
Jerald: A man can dream! God! I fucking hate you Kyle!
Kyle: Love you too!
*Jerald got mad at that statement and punched him real hard in the face, knocking him out. Blobert just laughed.*
Rusty: Holy shit! What the fuck?!
Daemon: This is a normal practice, this is how you know it’s going great.
Rusty: What?
Blobert: She’s just not used to it yet hehe
*Jerald just got close to the ground and started slapping Kyle awake*
Jerald: Wait, before you go back to sleepies, you gotta tell the gang what you think of the name.
Kyle: …fucking…great…
Jerald: Okay, we finally have a name. Cool. I’ll take Kyle to couch now.
Blobert: Yeah do that, no one’s helping you.
The end
P o d c a s t C h a o s : “It’s All About The Beat!” Podcast
Podcast host
Hendrix and Brio
Hendrix: What is up webbers? It’s Hendrix Gulligan
Brio: And Brio Gulligan
Hendrix: And this is
Brio and Hendrix: It’s All About The Beat!
Hendrix: A podcast where interview smaller bands in hopes to gain traction for them and ourselves
Brio: On today’s episode we are talking to a nu-metal band that goes by the name “Custard Toast Henchmen”
Blobert: It’s rad of you to have us
Daemon: We’re super appreciative
The band members give slight smiles
Hendrix: You know, your band is fairly popular amongst our audience
Brio: Our fans have been requesting you guys for ages!
Jerald: It’s cause of Kyle most likely
Hendrix: Well because you hae been requested so much, we did some research on your band and saw that Kyle is the most active on all socials.
Kyle: Yeah, I stream and stuff. My content is okay, it’s pretty fun to make to say the least
Jerald: I think the rest of us only have like Tumblr or MySpace accounts.
Brio: You are the second most active are you not?
Jerald: I only blog random shit most of the time. It usually doesn’t related to the band but I mention that I’m in Custard Toast on there
Blobert: Which account are we speaking of?
Jerald: We do not speak of the other one.
Blobert: Okay, sure buddy
Brio: The six of you seem like a very odd pair of teens, what exactly got you guys into a band together?
Blobert: We all go to the same school for starters. Jerald is my childhood friend so I introduced the idea and he just said yes.
Hendrix: Sorry to interrupt, but you said Jared, right?
Jerald: Did you think my name was pronounced Gerald?
Brio: It’s pronounced Jared?
Blobert: Before he goes batshit-
Jerald: I’m not going to go fucking batshit-
Blobert covers Jerald’s mouth
Blobert: Yes, it’s pronounced Jared. His parents accidentally put an L there
Hendrix: I guess that’s one way to spell it
Brio: going quite off topic again, you and your keyboardist have quite interesting
Rusty: Damn, we’re pretty good at talking in unison.
Blobert: Damn fucking right
*Hendrix and Brio were now laughing*
Brio: Was that, like planned?
Daemon: Nope, we just all know the answer to that question
Hendrix: Is there a way you all would describe the way your band sounds?
Rusty: Loud, um Bangy-
Daemon: Shut the hell up Ms Tism over here, what words are you using? The second one is made up
Rusty: You’re made up!
Kyle: No but actually I think she’s right on this one
Jerald: Kyle shut the fuck up. Um I think words I’d use definitely metal. Like we tend to make lots of different types of music but it’s all typically metal.
Kyle: Even your stupid ass My Little Pony covers?
Jerald: We always change the genre to metal! It makes it funny! You should think with your, *clearly nonexistent*, brain cells before you speak dumbass!
Kyle: Hey, you’re couch surfing at mine right now. Watch what you say man
Jerald: I’m not saying sorry, I meant every word I said.
*Blobert was looking toward Hendrix and Brio mouthing the words “He doesn’t mean it” while shaking hand to signal a no*
Jerald: Fuck are you doing?
Blobert: Um nothing, yeah but I’d say Jerald summed up how we all would describe our band. It’s very crusty during our practices so-
Rusty: I think Crusty is worse than what I said
Blobert: At least I said a word that exists
Brio: I feel the way you guys described yourself is what your own crowd would resonate with as well.
Hendrix: Yeah I totally feel that’s accurate. Moving on… what is your creative process like? How do you come up with your songs and stuff?
Blobert: Each of us is in charge of writing one song like just about every now and then
Daemon: You can always tell who wrote what because one instrument is always practically the lead of the song. For example “Repetition”? It has a long ass base solo and the genre’s changed a bit so Jerald can do his funky as bass tricks
Jerald: I didn’t learn them for nothing
Daemon: Go join a fucking jazz band then
Jerald: Ew. Just the thought of that makes me feel like a poser. Nothing against jazz I guess but I don’t think I could go that far
*nobody seemed to notice but Kyle had been hitting his melon flavored weed vape in the corner for a while now. He was quite high now.*
Kyle: One of you should kiss me for views guys it’ll go viral trust
Jerald: Oh shit are you high now?
He’s fucking high again
Blobert: I didn’t even see him like hit is vape dude. What the fuck?
Daemon: Stop smoking your damn e-cigarettes around my sister. I don’t need her to lose anymore brain cells
Rusty: I second this. I already have enough brain damage as it is from all of you leaning on my head all the time. And also dropping stuff on me
Kyle: I genuinely didn’t comprehend a single word you said
Jerald: faggotsaywhat
Kyle: What? Huh?
Jerald: Heh, nice.
*Blobert hit Jerald*
Jerald: Be lucky I ain’t having an episode right now or I woulda beat your ass
Blobert: Yeah right shithead. Anyway what’s the next question? I’m sorry, I feel like we keep having mini like side quests while you guys are in fact our main quest.
Brio: You’re all good, we love a bit of chatter on the podcast.
Hendrix, honey, the next question pleasee~
Hendrix: Oh right, So if you could collaborate with any artist, who would it be?
Blobert: Damn that’s a tough one
Jerald: Gorillaz would be cool but I don’t know if our styles would clash in the good way
Daemon: Nine Inch Nails would be sick
Rusty: Any of the bands featured in the Scott Pilgrim Movie. Like the Blood Red Shoes or Black Lips
Blobert: I like how none of you said Korn or System? Wasn’t that our inspiration? But definitely Korn.
Kyle: Rammstein or Skindred
Jerald: You’re listening? Guys rarely sighting! Rare sighting!
Kyle: Why are both of your last names the same… Gulligan and Gulligan
Blobert: Can you shut the fuck up? Jesus.
Jerald: Sorry Kyle’s quite dense when he’s high, but I think most people are
Hendrix: We aren’t the ones to be getting questioned here.
Hendrix: Our next question please Brio
Brio: Where have your guys’ recent performances been? Do you guys have a favorite venue? Do you have any upcoming shows?
Kyle: We have one on like the 29th I think… I don’t know…. I shouldn’t have said anything
Jerald: You’re right you shouldn’t. But I do like the one that’s actually in Blobert and I’s home town. Our audience isn’t that big but where we live there’s a big alternative audience up there. It’s okay to get to know people sometimes. It’s just not cool when they know my family and stuff.
Blobert: I quite like that one too actually, we’ve played a flea markets in there but I really like the one in Glassboro we played in. It’s pretty far though
Jerald: That’s the one that took us like two days to get to all by buses and trains right?
Blobert: Yeah that one
Jerald: That was a cool one, they had air conditioning. Most of the venues we’ve played at, we don’t see those.
Daemon: We’ve played in Philly a few times, it wasn’t exactly pleasant but I do agree I think the one in Glassboro was my favorite. It was HighValley House, wasn’t it?
Kyle: Haha, high.
Jerald: Kyle if you say another dumb sentence, I’ll punch you.
Kyle: Fine, I won’t
*Jerald punched him*
Kyle: My sentence was very logical!
*Jerald punched him again*
Jerald: Every word that comes out of your mouth is dumb.
Rusty: I’ve only played like four shows with you guys. I think one of them was that flea market one. I liked that one.
Hendrix: It’s cool you guys got to play in your home town. I honestly think is better to play anywhere else but Philadelphia.
Daemon: The Philadelphia shows are just scary, obviously because we usually open for bands.
Blobert: We’ve headlined like three or four times. One was at HighValley I’m pretty sure. Big fans of that one.
Jerald: The staff were super nice and helpful. Pretty cool guys.
Brio: You said you opened for people? Who was your favorite to open for?
Jerald: That one band, umm I think it was Possum Milk? Dude they were such cool people and they even dressed pretty cool
Daemon: Oh yeah! That guy was super popular with the ladies, they called him Microwave? I think?
Blobert: He almost had a heatstroke on stage I hope the guys okay now.
Daemon: Their drummer was sick as well, girl had a two mechanical legs! And she was playing the drums like it was nothing.
(CROSS OVER?? OWAH)
Hendrix: We’ve interviewed them, haven’t we?
Brio: Yes actually, they are on tour now so they got pretty popular
Jerald: Oh they are? Guys if they come back to NJ, we should go.
Blobert: Agreed
Kyle: I would say agreed but I’m scared of getting punched
Jerald: I’m not wasting anymore energy on you, don’t worry
Hendrix: You said you guys have interactions with other bands, but have you had any interactions with fans? Any that particularly stick out?
Kyle: Does pumpkin count?
Jerald: Errrr… ummm….
Daemon: I don’t want her to count
Brio: Oh, who is this Pumpkin we speak of?
Kyle: We gotta be careful, nobody talk their mouths off on this o-
Blobert: Pumpkins a creepazoid freaky stalker of ours. She won’t tell us her real name because she wanted us to call her Pumpkin. Y’know like the pet name. Super. Fucking. Weird.
Kyle: What did I jus-
Daemon: You know those like heart lockets? She has some with all of our faces in them, like one for each of us, with photos never released to the public.
Kyle: I’m not even gonna try anymo-
Jerald: three out of those five photos are taken from windows! Someone, who I can only assume her, called CPS on my parents! I’m currently couch surfing from Blobert’s and Kyle’s.
Kyle: Because of how often you stay at mine, my mom thinks I’m gay
Jerald: Well she’s not wrong
Kyle: More like 50% right! I like women too you know!
Jerald: Since when can you do math? Also I’m the same here shit head. One of these days, I’m going to jump you.
Kyle: Haven’t you been doing that already?
Jerald: Beating someone up and jumping someone is not the same. On that topic, my mom doesn’t beat me, she just accidentally throws stuff at me during episodes!
Kyle: I don’t think she’s doing it ac-
Blobert: Kyle we’ve been trying to knock that into his head for years, it’s not going to work now.
Jerald: You guys have seen how I am during manic episodes! My mom and I do similar things.
Rusty: No actually, you guys tend to do the same things. You leave your responsibilities, you throw things, your ego boosts, and you get really impulsive. It’s practically the same
Jerald: Rusty, I’m not my mom.
Blobert: Yeah, personality wise. You guys just have similar manic traits, it’s okay. We can talk about this later, okay?
Jerald: I’m not liker her at all, okay?! I’m not. I’m not.
Jerald: I’m really not. Please tell me I’m not. I’ll never be like her. No.
*Blobert had his hand on Jerald’s back now*
Blobert: Dude it’s okay. You aren’t like her. You guys have some similarities, but everyone does to their parents. Rather that be through a psychical trait or something mental, there’s always going to be something slightly similar. But it’s okay. It’s going to be fine.
Brio: Do you two need a minute?
Blobert: We might actually, yeah
*Jerald was really upset, we was looking down at his hands now. He was starting to spiral with thoughts. Blobert took the Jerald out of the record studio.*
Hendrix: Jerald talked about episodes, if you think he’d be okay with disclosing it, what exactly does he have?
Kyle: He’s pretty open about it because for most people it explains a lot. Well it’s what they think it is anyway. The doctors think he’s Bipolar.
Brio: Oh okay. You say think, is he in some sort of testing.. or?
Daemon: Yeah, he’s being tested for it but I think we’re all pretty sure. It’s from his mom definitely.
Kyle: Yeah, I think my home life if the best out of the bunch.
(I have a headache now, time to go sleepies)
T H E E N D F O R N O W