Chapter Text
pacing the room, up and down the halls.
clocks ticking, his frame of vision bending in and out of conceivable view.
sword was losing it, and he knew it.
rocket was a few minutes late today. he was supposed to meet with sword every thursday at noon so they could practice. it was always the best time before the phights started on the weekends.
rocket was never this late, though. in fact, he almost always got here early. he did say it was for some "friend" of his that he had to meet with.
sword couldn't stand that friend of his. he'd never dare say it because he knows it makes him a bad person; but he would kill to be the one and only in rocket's world. sometimes he genuinely considered it.
gods, why couldn't he be normal? ever since he was young, this fear of abandonment threw its shackles onto his soul and never let go, driving the mast of his decision ever since. he couldn't change.
and it only got worse when he met rocket. he wouldn't change rocket or meeting him for the world, don't take that the wrong way.
he just.... wishes he wasn't so attatched. he knows rocket has his own life. his own obligations. own things to do.
yet he feels like every time rocket understandably has priorities that aren't entirely focused on sword that he's being abandoned.
he had a breakdown last week when rocket had to move it to friday. he was for sure getting left. he was such a terrible friend. he couldn't stand it. no one would ever want h-
he shook it off, and then kept pacing. and pacing. swords, why can't he do something productive for once?!
he's never loved someone as much as rocket, yet still fears that he has every reason to be left. it haunts what he does. he tries to brush it off by being the funny, charimastic friend, the "guy with a sword" as people call him.
all he really wanted to do though was to embody love. he had love, people who loved him. he just wanted to feel like he deserved it. every single relationship, every good thing, he finds a way to self sabotage. and it leaves him with this sense of emptiness, even if he has the most loving people on the world on his side. no amount of sword tricks, camaraderie, charisma, or masking can save him from his greatest fear.
rocket loving someone more than him.
and as the time drew closer to 12:15, sword started to wonder if rocket would even come at all. it isn't like him to be th-
there's the door, sword.