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“Doctor,” you lightly grab her hand before she pushes the TARDIS lever down. “Could we…could we take a break instead?”
“A break?” Her brows scrunch.
You understand of course. To her, she just picked you up. She hasn’t experienced the same painful day a hundred times. She’s raring for another adventure. You know now from a few previous loops that she barely stops herself ‘accidentally’ coming to pick you up early on a daily basis
“Yeah,” you hope your smile isn’t as brittle as it feels. “Just…from everything, you know?”
Her eyes flicker over your face as her expression slowly changes from confusion to concern. “‘Course.”
She moves her hand and you jump slightly as you realise you’re still holding it.
“I know just the place,” she says, because she always does. Even if the TARDIS doesn’t always take her there.
Your smile becomes a little stronger as you watch her hands fly over the console. It’s nice to see her do something different. To not know the next moments down to the tiniest twitch.
“Did something happen?” she asks without looking up.
You look at her blankly even as she continues to look at the controls. A lot of somethings happened, a lot of times. Your brain can’t even choose which one to jump to first.
(A lie. A too-pale face slowly beginning to shine with a golden light flashes behind your eyes).
You shove the image away.
“At home,” she clarifies when you’ve been quiet too long.
Right. Yes. Home. You have no idea. You haven’t been home in a very long time.
“No,” you say, eyes focused on the quiet pulsing of the console. “Just…” you don’t want to lie to her, “I’m tired and laying in bed all day didn’t work. So I thought maybe some actual realisation might.” You give her a small grin, “Besides, we both know it’ll end up turning into some great adventure anyway.”
The Doctor grumbles quietly to herself but the corner of her mouth is ticking up in a way that tells you she’s pleased.
With no fanfare, apart from a grin sent your way, she reaches for the lever again and sends the TARDIS on her way.
You sway easily with the motion of the TARDIS now. You even notice the slight difference in the timing of her shudders as she travels through the vortex. Although, maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise after feeling the exact same vibrations hundreds (thousands?) of times.
You don’t even need to lean on the console as the TARDIS lands. If the Doctor catches the change she doesn’t say anything. Instead she exclaims,
“The great Isles of Remanso await!”
She pops a panel under the console, pulls out a classic picnic blanket, marches to the TARDIS doors, and flings them open.
You’re greeted by pale purple skies, aqua water and the freshest air you’ve ever smelt. You can’t help but pause in the doorway of the TARDIS, eyes slipping shut as you take a deep breath. You can feel your skin soaking up the alien sun, even with the temperature being perfect.
Almost surprisingly, the Doctor allows you this moment of quiet. You open your eyes to her shaking the picnic blanket out. She tugs the corners once it’s on the ground to get it perfectly flat.
Taking a longer look around, you realise the name really means isles. The island the TARDIS has plonked itself on is tiny. The opaque, aqua waves lapping at the shore is barely ten steps away. When you peer around the TARDIS, it’s the same on the other side.
The Doctor sprawls on the blanket and you go to join her. The aches and pains don’t follow you through loops yet it feels like they ease as you lay down on the soft ground.
Dark blue blobs that you can reasonably call clouds spot the sky, a few in interesting enough shapes to catch your attention.
“Any stories about clouds?” you wonder idly.
“You can’t jump on them,” she responds instantly and you snort. “Real disappointing that.”
“The whole wide universe and there isn’t a single planet with bouncy clouds?”
“None that look like Earth ones,” she says.
“Science hasn’t created any either?”
“Those don’t count!” she protests.
“Of course not.” You let your full smile escape. “Planets are still being formed and I doubt you’ve visited every single one in the entirety of space and time. You’ll find one eventually,”you console.
“It would be a good way to pass your off days,” she supposes.
“As long as you take me to it when you find one, I pinky-swear to not be offended that you’re doing the search without me.” You lift your hand and hold your pinky out to her. She happily wraps her own around it.
“Deal.”
Your hands drop back to the blanket. She doesn’t let go and neither do you. Something tight slowly begins easing in your chest.
You soak in the quiet. There’s enough ambient noise to stop the silence from becoming eerie and it’s the first quiet you’ve had in forever.
After a while, the Doctor starts up one of her name-dropping stories that always make you smile. Her voice remains soft and her hand remains in yours. It’s easy to sink into the gentle cadence of her voice.
A long while later, after she’s trailed off and you’ve soaked enough sun to be pleasantly warm, you break the silence.
“Thank you,” you say quietly. “This has been the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
“It doesn’t have to end yet,” she says.
Your smile cracks. It doesn’t for her but time’s up for you.
“That sounds nice,” you murmur.
You don’t want to see her worried face. You want her bright smile imprinted on the back of your eyelids instead. But you can’t make yourself look away. You can never look away from her. Even at the end.
Her eyes search yours. You don’t know what she finds but her hand squeezes yours.
“What happened?” she asks quietly.
Words bubble at the edge of your mouth but you can’t force them out. She has so many ideas when you tell but they never pan out. The last two times when you had explained the things you’ve already tried she couldn’t think of anything new.
“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” you promise.
She gives you another long, searching look before nodding.
“Everything’s better in the morning,” she graces you with a soft smile.
Probably because she never sleeps on your adventures. But you don’t point that out. Instead you squeeze her hand and return your gaze to the sky. You see her do the same out of the corner of your eye.
Instead of taking in the beautiful, alien sky with its strange clouds you picture the Doctor’s face and that soft smile. Gone now as her mind wanders. The way her eyes crinkle in the corners, how the tension that never quite seems to leave her almost disappears.
You sigh as the darkness slowly takes over you. The image of the Doctor’s soft smile fills the blackness. You suppose you can try one more time.