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Maya let out a deep breath as she stepped out of the house, her arms moving in the automatic movement and her breathing steady and calm as she started her run. Even with the first few minutes, Maya noticed that it was the same issue than every year. A whole lot of more people running, or even walking outside, already wanting to work on their new years resolutions already even though it was still 2025. It was only a matter of time until most of them would fall back into their old habits again. And especially for running, Maya wanted and needed her peace. She craved the time alone, after all the holiday stress.
Over the years Maya got used to Christmas, she wasn’t the biggest one on decoration and she wasn’t thrilled about the city being more packed than usual, the family dramas intensifying and more people ending up needing help from first responders. The longer the last month of the year lasted, the more overwhelming Maya got.
So, starting her day with a run was a must these days.
Maya smiled as she left the bedroom this morning, seeing her wife in bed, still sleeping after they had spent the previous night with lots of sex and some ice cream when they both craved some sweetness before finally snuggling onto each other to find some rest after this stressful time.
2,5 miles in, Maya felt a vibration on her wrist immediately stopping when she saw that it was Carina who called her.
„Hey, everything okay my love?“ Maya asked, slowing down, so that she could hear her wife properly. Suddenly her thoughts were spinning, and she mentally kicked herself, right in this moment wanting to just be home, just in case.
„Babygirl just woke me up and I was alone in bed again…“ Carina answered, annoyance in her voice.
„Oh my love, I’ll be right back okay, do you need anything?“ Maya asked, ready to expand her running round to the next supermarket.
„No… I don’t know… I just miss you…“ Carina answered and Maya had to resist the urge to just hang up immediately and pull off a sprint to their home.
„I’ll be right back, alright. Is Char still in bed?“ Maya asked instead
„She is sleeping, she had some toast, but she said her throat was still hurting, then we cuddled and now she is keeping your side of the bed warm.“ Carina explained
„Poor thing…“ Maya said, sighing… „I’ll be home in a few minutes.“
„I love you Maya, sorry for disturbing, I know this is important for you“
„It is, but you all are more important, always.”
-
„I know you wanted to put everything down and clean but I don’t know how much we can manage today with how clingy little Charlotte is, I’m afraid she’ll even be more grumpy when she wakes up again.“ Carina said as Maya came home her clothes drenched since it had just started raining right after she ended the call
„It’s okay.“ Maya said, looking at her daughter „I just hate this is happening right when it was starting to get calmer for us…“ Maya pondered and Carina understood her with no further questions. She knew Christmas was a hard time for Maya, she knew the reasons and every little, crucial and painful story behind it. She tried her hardest to make the times as comfortable and relaxing as she could for Maya but this was something that would never be fully fixed. It couldn’t be fixed.
„I know Bambina, I know… I promise you it’ll get better again. I mean, I’m not throwing up every two days anymore and the bambina is growing beautifully.“
„That’s true… It was just a lot, I love you and our kids so very much but I sometimes feel like my mind is jumping from one task to the next and I’m scared and worried about you and I just want you all fine…“ Maya rambled in a lower voice careful to not wake their sleeping daughter.
„How about you take a shower and I make you some smoothie and then we can see what we’ll do, does that sound alright?“ Carina asked, her hand stroking over Mayas damp hair on her scalp.
„I’ll be quick“ Maya said, as she grabbed some fresh clothes and disappeared into the bathroom.
-
Carina was used to stress around Christmas time, and she sometimes missed the loud and messy family dinners that seemed like they lasted three days straight when she was in Italy and all her uncles, aunts, cousins and other relatives gathered together for Christmas.
Now, it was just her and Maya for a while, it was weird, Maya hated Christmas at first and Carina wasn’t the biggest fan anymore either, feeling alone and kind of foreign in her first year living in Seattle.
But deep down she knew, that she missed it and had enjoyed the messy evenings with way too much food. She had spent so many evenings with Maya reminiscing about all the times she spent in Italy during the holidays and how she always got underestimated in how much she could actually eat. It was one of the very first stories she told Maya about Christmas, and it still makes her laugh.
Meeting Maya made her feel less alone, and Carina treasured every moment when Maya felt happy and content during the Christmas time. It all started when they had spent their first holidays separated. Maya chose to work, as she always did, and Carina was called to the hospital last minute. Though, Carina insisted on calling her newfound girlfriend after they were both having a calmer minute in between the most stressful time of the year. It was only a quick one before the alarm went off, but still enough time to wish Maya a merry Christmas and noticing a shy smile on the soot covered face. It looked beautiful, and truly made Carinas evening.
The following years they through all the ups and downs Maya and Carina have tried to celebrate this time of the year together. It was the first time, where Maya experienced another side of all of it and even if it was unusual, she kind of enjoyed the intimacy and calmness Carina brought into her life during that time of the year.
Now, six years later they had their little family in their apartment. Just surviving between pregnancy, a sick toddler and all of the other little things, the daily life and emotions that seemed to be intensified.
-
“Mommy?” the little girl asked, as she reached her little arm towards Maya.
“I am here my little love, come here. Are you feeling better?” Maya asked, while she hugged Charlotte, and stroking through her short light brown hair.
“She wanted to see you.” Carina said with a smile, relieved that the extra amount of sleep seemed to work wonders for their little girl.
“Do you want to try out your new paint today?” Maya asked, knowing how happy the little girl was about her Christmas present.
“Mamma too” Charlotte said, with a smile, looking at Carina.
“Oh, she is the best at it, look at that.” Maya said, pointing at a painting right next to the bathroom. Carina had painted a lot during her time in med school many years ago. Now, her life got busier, but her creative vessel hasn’t died yet and when she found the time she would always scribble into her little notebook. Maya once caught her doing so and realized afterwards that this book contained many sketches of herself, and Carinas so called vagina art. That’s when she realized again, just how incredibly talented her wife was.
“We’ll get you out of your pajamas and then we are ready bene bambina?” Carina said, and you could see how excited she was.
“I’ll get her ready and then you two can start.” Maya said to Carina and pressed a kiss onto her cheek.
“Thank you my love, you can take care of the Christmas decoration” Carina said, knowing well, that it was the thing Maya was itching to do since she woke up, even though she stated multiple times how much she liked the lights and the Christmas tree. It was only a matter of time, and by now Maya wanted her home to look a little less overstimulating again, Plus, the holidays were over and it was literally the best time to get a deep clean in before the new year.
Maya didn’t want to spend two hours to clean and abandon Carina and Charlotte, she wanted to quickly put some stuff away and arrange the new toys her little one got in the living room, as well setting up the surprise for her wife. A new nursing pillow she had ordered the other day.
When she was done, she felt calmer and more content and grateful about how precious her little family was. She entered Charlottes room where Carina and their daughter crouched on the floor, with all the paint around them, and their hands covered in colorful stains.
“Hey my girls” Maya said, holding a snack plate in front of her, knowing Carina probably was hungry once again.
“Oh you’re an angel, you brought food.”
“I know what you need right now.” Maya said, putting the plate on the little table next to them and sticking Carina some carotte dipped in hummus into her mouth since her hands were still covered in wet paint.
“That is amazing, now we only need some mozzarella sticks in the evening”
Char was still fixated on finishing her fishes as she called the blue and grey ovals on her paper and was much less interested in the food.
“Lucky you that we still have some in the freezer” Maya said as she ran her fingers through her wife’s beautiful wavy brown hair that she didn’t bother to put up even though Maya was sure some strands might be covered in a blueish tone.
It was magical for Maya to see her daughter play so careless and happy; it was the most she wished for both their children. To be happy and loved, for them to be a healthy family… the contrary of what her and Carina had to experience. They wanted to be the opposite of their parents. And seeing them all in a messy bedroom on the floor covered in paint with their favorite songs playing in the background Maya realized that she could never be like her mom or dad.
She realized that Christmas may not be her favorite time of the year but seeing her family so close together and happy was everything she wished for, and despite being sick her little girl was so very happy during the holidays most of the time. The evenings with Carina seemed to be a little more intimate and cozier than usual and the fact that they had overcome the morning sickness just a few days after Christmas eve seemed to be a good sign for the new year.
“Now you too Mommy,” Charlotte called as Maya knelt next to her daughter. The brunette touching Mayas nose and marking it with a green dot immediately. All of them suddenly laughing and forgetting about the stress of the previous days. Carina just watching how Maya continued with her work in progress, while eating her carottes and stroking her little baby bump when Maya suddenly came.
“Can I see?” She asked, looking at her wifes belly.
Carina nodded and lifted her shirt. Just then Mayas tender fingertips touched Carinas bump and paint was stroked over her soft skin, resulting in four little hearts.
“I love you so much.” Maya whispered as she leaned over for a kiss.
“Ti amo tanto amore mia.” Carina replied, looking into Mayas eyes just feeling incredibly lucky.
“I can’t wait to have another version of us.” Maya said, as she took Carinas hand in hers, both just admiring their perfect little daughter, who would soon not be the only little human in the Deluca-Bishop’s life