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The pads of her thumbs against the hot burning skin of her cheeks. Hua’s so close Senti’s breathing in the sweet aroma of the tea she drank earlier, which wasn't supposed to have that much sugar in it but Senti’s hands had slipped when making it for her. She wasn't even ungrateful, drank it and expressed her gratitude while Senti was scolding herself for it.
"O-old ti-" She gives up halfway just before her lips crash into hers like the sudden crack of thunder.
This is new.
Her eyes are widened in shock, her hands trembling as her body feels on the edge of explosive temperatures and in one swift motion she shoves her off, covering her mouth with one hand, trying to process whatever just happened. Her heart is ticking overtime and her head spins.
She didn't mean to and as she looks at Hua, her heart sinks with guilt.
It's the worst expression she's ever seen on that pretty face, her eyes wide, pupils small, her lips barely moving.
The look of horror, of a major mistake.
It wasn't.
Hua starts to ramble but the words make no sense if they're even words at all. A single tear drop is hanging on to the corner of her eye and Senti tries to move, to say something, anything but her body won't listen.
She never wants to see her like this, how could she push her away like that.
She's a fool.
She caused this, she caused the one person that probably sees more in her to feel like this ...
What was she feeling? Could it be what people call a breaking heart? She's sure that's what she feels but she has no right to. After all, it was Hua who kissed her and she practically rejected her. If only she could’ve reacted in a normal kind of way, she scolds herself.
She scrambles, her hands flailing finally moving as she tries to reach out.
By now Hua’s apologising, chanting sorry over and over. Her voice is almost unfamiliar like this, it’s not even close to when she wouldn’t stop apologising for what happened in the theatre.
And this is not even on the list of things she should be sorry for. If Senti were to be honest, there wasn’t even a list at all. If there ever had been one, it was long burned.
"Hua... No. Shut up."
Stupid, couldn't she come up with something better to say?
It does get her to quiet down. She swallows and tries again.
"I'm sorry, I should have a-"
"No. You. You don't get it."
She doesn't even 'get' it herself, why did she even react like that anyway. After all, her lips were soft, her skin warm, her taste sweet and familiar.
She's burning up.
"Uh..."
Quick, she needs to get herself together before that old antique even thinks of leaving. She can't but at least her body is willing to move again so she stumbles towards her.
She really looks stupid when she's confused.
She grabs her by her collar, the easiest thing to hold on to and pulls her closer.
"Do that again."
"Huh?"
Typical response of a dense brick. She grumbles but then yanks her down by her collar, their lips crash together again though a little harsher this time.
She makes quite a cute surprised sound and her own response is a satisfied huff.
That seems to ease Hua because her hands move to hold her waist which nearly makes her legs give out.
“I-”
Senti tries but Hua doesn’t give her any chance to speak when she simply uses that opportunity to deepen the kiss.
This is how that feels? She’s light-headed, her body full of sparks, the sweetened herbs sting on her tongue, her nails scrape against Hua’s clothes as she pushes and pulls unsure of how to keep herself standing while battling the voices in her head. What even for? Hua is right here. Willingly kissing someone like her when she should’ve no problem finding someone else.
She tugs too hard on Hua’s collar, nearly stumbling back and a breathy chuckle follows. It feels like mockery but it’s hard to deny that fluttering feeling within the pit of her stomach as Hua’s hand supports her back.
“Hey. Don’t laugh!”
“Sorry, I-”
“No, shut up. I didn’t mean that…” If there’s anything she wants to hear it’s this old woman’s laugh. “I didn’t mean to push you away… either.”
Well, that’s out at least. She pouts, looking down to where her hands are, fisting in Hua’s shirt like a kneading cat.
Hua’s hand comes up to pet her head, fingers combing through Senti’s hair and she realises she’d like this and more.
She nuzzles closer, allowing Hua to continue that gentle gesture of affection. Her face presses into Hua’s shoulder, her neck, her hair as she takes a deep breath.
“It was too sudden, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Then my point stands, I should have asked you.”
“Wouldn’t that have made it weird?”
“I don’t think so?”
“Eh.” Senti shrugs. She really doesn’t care about the could have.
Soft and warm, a gentle press on the top of her head and her eyes start to water.
“Hey, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For pushing you off like that.”
“It was a reflex.”
“No. I mean, yeah but I shouldn’t have…”
“Didn’t you make it up to me already?”
“...”
“Senti? What’s wrong…? Does it bother you that much?”
She doesn’t hear the rest of her stupid questions. Her sight is blurry and obstructed by dumb tears and she’s biting in Hua’s shirt to keep herself from whining out loud.
Without another word, she’s suddenly lifted from the floor and somehow she finds herself in Hua’s arms being carried bridal style.
“Hey, hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”
Her words aren’t as clear as she initially thought and she’s gasping for air trying to stop her crying. Dumb. That’s how this must look yet her old timer doesn’t say anything, walking over to the bed and sitting down like it’s the most normal thing.
Hua’s arms then wrap around her, pulling her close and tightly almost like she’d never let go.
“It’s alright. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Hua says calmly but Senti bites her lip. Right now she isn’t even sure why she’s crying. She never cries. Alright, she never cries in front of anyone.
Except that she feels stupid and weak,it isn’t so bad when she’s held by Hua like this.
“Your face…”
“Hm?”
“When I pushed you. You looked at me like thát.”
“I thought I made a horrible mistake, that I did something against-”
“Stop right there.”
She pulls back from her hold. Gathering all of her courage to look at her even though the tears.
“You didn’t and I never want to see that look again.”
She doesn’t dare ask how it felt.
“Alright.” She simply says. A soft smile tugs on her lips, something in her eyes like triumph maybe.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re different like this.”
“Huh?!”
Hua’s smile grows wider, her hand cupping the side of Senti’s face.
“To see you like this… hm, perhaps I shouldn't say anything.”
Senti shows her disapproval by frowning at her but Hua’s eyes only soften.
“No one’s seen you cry…” Is all that she says, trailing off when Senti casts her gaze aside.
“I will never see you as weak.” She states firmly then though it sounds like she isn’t sure if this is the right moment to say this.
“Hmphf.”
Senti shifts slightly but then decides to sit on her lap properly by straddling Hua’s thighs and fighting herself internally to keep herself from fleeing this whole thing.
Her heart beats in her throat now like an obstruction. They’re so close and Senti doesn’t do feelings let alone share them, yet somehow here she is.
And it’s awkward.
Though Hua really doesn't seem to mind at all, staring at her with the dumbest smile Senti’s ever seen and it gives her that strange nausea again. She knows what it is but-
Haha. She isn’t ready to admit that outright.
Hua’s hand is still on her cheek, her jaw, her fingers too close to her ear.
Yeah, it’s awkward.
“You… you can do it again, you know.”
“Do what?”
Seriously? She’s playing it like this now? She gives her a look like she’s offended but her fingers are playing with the button of Hua’s shirt.
“You know what, don’t play dumb.”
“What if I do not, won't you say it?”
Hua gazes into her eyes, blue skies stretching far too intense. Her hand takes a hold of one of hers, stopping her from fiddling with the button, fingers interlacing instead.
She could combust.
Why does she have to make her say something so embarrassing, if she goes along with it who knows what else she might get into her head.
Her lip trembles, Hua still looks at her like she’s waiting but there’s no malice in her eyes. She might even let her off the hook soon.
Fine, she’ll play along just this once then since she acted so stupid before.
She stammers uncontrollably at first before she finally manages to get the word out, possibly just before Hua would burst into laughter.
“Kiss…kiss me again!”
Hua doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t even say anything, no praise. Tsk, there’s no way she’d ever say that again anyway.
Then her fingers press against the back of her head and she’s reeled in like a caught fish. Her lips brush against her own cautiously like she’s unsure but then she takes her bottom lip between hers and Senti can barely breath.
Hua takes her time. Senti isn’t sure if it’s better or worse but she doesn't protest.
Those soft pecks of hers make her feel like she’s made out of snow. Melting away at her phoenix’s warmth.
“Is this ok?” Hua whispers, pausing her actions but Senti can only give her a small nod. “Good…” It’s like there’s something more she wants to say but holds back.
Her tongue presses between her lips and from there Senti loses herself. She isn’t sure how much time has passed when her thoughts return and she’s out of breath.
Her hands are clinging on to one of Hua’s buttons like she’s trying to rip it off. Hua’s hands are at the sides of her face, holding her while she kisses the corner of her lips.
“You know I don’t know how to do this, right?”
“What…?” Dazed, Senti hardly registers Hua’s words and she isn’t given much time to recover when Hua bites into her lower lip.
Senti makes a little noise and Hua’s hands drop to hold her hips, stilling the movement she didn’t even realise she was making.
She doesn’t know where to look, the rapid rise and fall of Hua’s chest, the spot between her legs where Hua’s thighs are pressed together beneath? Her face… no absolutely not.
“Senti.”
Her face, it is then. Her eyes flick up to meet hers and her grip on the button tightens. Hua’s cheeks are just as red as her lips and her eyes only half open. Even her hair is slightly messy. The sight makes her heartbeat pick up speed again if it ever even calmed down in the first place.
The button finally rips off her shirt and Senti curses, her hands trying to chase after it but Hua stops her quickly.
Now her hands are forced to rest between hers as Hua strokes the back of them with her thumbs.
“I’ll fix it later.”
It’s almost a whisper and the huskiness to it makes Senti shiver.
And then it’s silent, Senti isn’t sure if it is painful, awkward, both or something else. It’s probably late, Hua would’ve been in bed usually but now neither of them makes any move to do anything until Hua brushes a stray strand out of Senti’s face and murmurs that it’s late.
“Yeah, it’s… it’s late.” Senti echoes. “Shouldn’t you sleep?”
“Perhaps.”
Hua sighs, one of her hands wandering and slipping underneath Senti’s shirt, fingertips darting around her back until she trails up her spine and Senti makes another little noise. Her back arches and only relaxes when Hua stills. And then she does it again.
“Hey, what-” She squeaks and Hua nearly laughs.
“I’d like to stay like this a little longer. Would that be ok?”
“Uh… yeah.”
“We’re not really good at this are we?”
“That’s your fault!”
“How is it my fault?”
“No, nevermind.”
“Considering how out of breath you just were, I don’t think it was thát bad was it?”
“What- that’s…” Senti’s breath hitches. Hua isn’t exactly wrong but what does that have to do with anything? “Unfair …”
“Couldn’t help it.”
Huh. So, old timer was teasing her. Who taught her that? Senti could think of someone but her thoughts dissipate when Hua rests her head on her shoulder, pressing their bodies even more together.
She’s warm.
So warm that Senti’s eyes grow heavy and her body starts to slouch against hers. She nearly dozes off when Hua whispers.
“Senti, we can turn into bed if you’d like.”
Her heart jumps. Sure they’d been sleeping in the same bed, sort of but she’s always been too nervous to get any closer to her and it’s gotten her in some embarrassing situations.
“Senti?”
“Yeah, yeah… I guess we could.”
Hua’s lips curve into a smile and it tickles, her skin breaks out in goosebumps and as Hua pulls back, she shivers.
She’d like to pull her back. She’d like to slip her hands underneath her shirt and feel the warmth of her skin and she might as well feel her abs if she were at it anyway but she doesn’t even make the move to touch her shirt.
“Are you sure?”
Oh, shit. She’s been staring and now Hua is looking at her all concerned. Senti clears her throat and nods but neither of them move. Hua is still holding her, her hands now resting on her waist. There’s something about that that makes it really hard to breathe.
Hua absently murmurs something about ‘getting up’ and ‘bathroom’ but before she can decipher what she’s trying to say, Hua pulls her down to the bed with her.
“Wai- What are you?!” She yelps.
Hua chuckles, her hands a resting weight on Senti’s back keeping her from getting back up.
“Hm. I think for just this once, I can go without the routine.”
“Huh?! Are you still my old timer?” Senti raises an eyebrow.
Hua blinks at her.
“Yours?”
“Wait, No. I didn’t say such a thing!”
“That’d be unfortunate… If you did, I'd say yours if you’re my Senti.”
“...”
“You’re blushing aren’t you?” The cheeky smile that graces her face is clearly audible in her voice and Senti can hardly manage to voice her denial.
“N-no…”
Then her fingers brush against her cheek, her thumb swipes across her lips just once leaving her to gasp for air again despite her doing nothing more.
“It may be dark but your cheeks… They’re very warm.”
“Shut up.”
A low rumble, almost like an annoyed cat but she buries her face into Hua’s neck making it no easier to breathe for herself.
Would that count as a confession? Perhaps even as that they’re …
Hua moves to pull the both of them into the middle of the bed, reaching for the other pillow that was left alone on the other side of the bed from last night.
Senti’s heartbeat won’t rest, neither do her thoughts. It’s like being tossed around at sea but finding herself on a paradise island. It’s a little too much but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.
She sneaks her hand underneath Hua’s shirt, her fingers trail across her bare skin until she rests her hand on that perfect curve of her waist.
In the back of her mind, she wonders if Hua is still overthinking. If she’s still thinking about how
Senti pushed her but thoughts are irrelevant when she’s cradled in Hua’s warm embrace, content and drifting off to sleep to the sound of Hua’s voice like she needs it more than anything.
“I’m glad. I’m glad you’re with me, my Senti.”