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Wonderlands X Showtime v. McDonald's Drive Thru

Summary:

“Hello, and welcome to McDonald's! What can I get for you four?”

“GREETINGS, FAIR PURVEYOR OF SUSTENANCE OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT! WE, THE TROPE OF WONDERLANDS X SHOWTIME, HAVE ARRIVED TO YOUR LOCAL MCDONALDS FRANCHISE FULL OF CULINARY DELICACIES!!!”

“OOooH, Tsukasa-kun! Tsukasa-kun! I want a Happy Meal! And Tons of toys! And a side of ✨ WONDERHOY!! ✨”

“Emu, they don't sell 'Wonderhoys'… And Tsukasa, well everyone for that matter on this van, can we order normally?”

Or: WxS orders through the McDonald's drive thru — it gets as chaotic as you might expect.

Notes:

hello everyone
what author was supposed to be making for the past 1-2 months: a multi-chapter angst fic about hololive generation 0 (my beloved)
what author made instead: this. this. this.

uhhh enable creator style, and keep wonderhoy'ing and listen to suisei please and enjoy, hahahahahahhaahahahaahhhahhahahahahaha (note: i have not indulged through PJSK's story but i love them so much, if i butcher them then uh, yeah crud happens yknow :sob:)

edit nov 2025: alright so im invested in pjsk now nvm… oh my god im going to personally assassinate this fic on the backalley.

CHARACTER CODE:
Kamishiro Rui
Tenma Tsukasa
Otori Emu
Kusanagi Nene
Hatsune Miku
Kagamine Rin

Work Text:

“Hello, and welcome to McDonald's! What can I get for you four?”

GREETINGS, FAIR PURVEYOR OF SUSTENANCE OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT! [LEANS DRAMATICALLY OUT OF THE CAR WINDOW] WE, THE TROUPE OF WONDERLANDS X SHOWTIME, HAVE ARRIVED TO YOUR LOCAL MCDONALDS FRANCHISE FULL OF CULINARY DELICACIES!!!

“OOooH, Tsukasa! Tsukasa! [BOUNCING ON HER SEAT FROM THE BACK OF THE CAR] I want a Happy Meal! And Tons of toys! And a side of ✨ WONDERHOY!! ✨”

“Emu, they don't serve Wonderhoys. And for everyone else on this car for that matter, can we please not go overboard with the order, i.e. order normally?

“No promises, Nene.”

“Wai— what do you mean by tha… Eh?!”

“I wonder if McDonald's would allow me to deep fry one of my experimental robots for science?”

“Okay, okay — look. I'll do the order instead. I cannot risk a lot of problems that could damage our troupe. [SIGH] Look, waiter girl… can we… just order four Bai Teriyaki McBurger sets? Thanks.”

[IN A DARING VOICE] HOLD ON, NENE KUSANAGI! The rest of us are NOT done with our orders!”

“Please order normally if you all will be ordering too.”

“Sure! Any who, can I request a Big Mac, but replace the patties with fish fillets. And add extra pickles. And jalapenos. And a hash brown. And a packet of that honey stuff they use for the chicken — inside the burger. Normalcy is simply an era of the past, it's time for the experiments!

“Uhm… [OPENS UP NOTEBOOK, READY TO SCRIBBLE WXS'S ORDER] Sir, you know we can't… fulfill that order exactly as how you… intende—”

“What a marvelous idea, Rui! I too, shall have the same burger as what Rui Kamishiro AKA the purple hair dude wanted, except add an apple pie to the burger! And some of the chocolate ice cream! We must push the boundaries of flavor! FOR THE SHOW!

“Wait, wait, Tsukasa! [GASPS] Can I have a McFlurry mixed with chicken then? And fries? And some smoothie? The smoothie is in the McFlurry, of course! Like, inside of the McFlurry!”

“Eh?! How is that even possible to fufi—… [PAUSES IN DISBELIEF] can you three order normally, please?!

[GASPS] Wait, wait! Tsukasa, can I have a McFlurry mixed with chicken then? And fries? And some smoothie? The smoothie is in the McFlurry, of course!”

“No seriously, can you three order normally?! Please.”

“S— we can't even fulfill neither of those orders that you've three reque—”

“Yes, YOU CAN! 👍👍👍”

“Christ, Rui they can't even fulfill that monstrosity Tsukasa, Emu, and you've made.”

“Trust the process, Kusanagi! Rui knows what he's doing!”

“Speaking of — I feel a little bit generous today too! Tsukasa! [SNAPS FINGERS] Do we have enough money to request an order for everyone, and by everyone — I mean the other units as well?”

“Eh, probably.”

“I mean, Tsukasa, you absolute sly boy — this is for all units, like these burgers can even reach to… wherever More More Jump are! You sure you have the budget?”

“Eh, probably.”

“Rui, are you seriously considering buying Bai Teriyaki McBurger Sets for like… twenty-six people?!

“Hell yeah. We've had such a long decade anyways, it's time for the chill part of our lives!”

“We've been Wonderlands X Showtime for 10 years?”

“I mean… no. Just an exaggeration, Emu!”

“No, Rui — are you… [CONTEMPLATING HER THOUGHTS] are you seriously thinking of buying twenty-six Bai Teriyaki McBurger Sets—…”

“Oh, the rest aren't getting those old Teriyaki whatevers! There getting what I like to coin… the ✨ Rui Special ✨.

“Wh—?!”

“The ✨ Rui Special ✨ is the Big Mac, but replace the patties with fish fillets, extra pickles, jalapenos, a hash brown, a packet of that honey stuff they use for the chicken of course! What I said earlier!”

“You are going to poison everyone, Rui.”

“Wait, are we— we still doing the four Bai Teriyaki McBurger Sets or not?”

“We are, just add Rui, yours, and Tsukasa's abnormal orders.”

“No, no Rui — like seriously. Can… No, waiter — can the… ✨ Rui Special ✨ even be made, just a question?”

“We… We can fulfill it. It might take a while however…”

AHA! SUCK IT NENE, I WIN!”

“No way Tokyo has allowed poison to be added to a restaurant's menu.”

“I mean… It is what it is, we're just following orders.”

“Ho— how even?!”

“Our order will be five happy meals simply for Emu, four… Bai Teriyaki McBurger Sets, twenty-six ✨ Rui Specials ✨, one ✨ Rui Special ✨ but add an apple pie and chocolate ice cream, and McFlurry mixed with chicken, fries, and smoothie, miss!”

“Eh…? [DAZED AND CONFUSED] Wha… what did you say again, Sir? [SHAKILY GRABS HER NOTEBOOK AGAIN]

“Five happy meals…”

“Uh huh… [SCRIBBLES]

“Four Bai Teriyaki McBurger Sets…”

“Uh huh… [SCRIBBLES]

“Twenty six ✨ Rui Specials ✨, like the Big Mac, but replace the patties with fish fillets, extra pickles, jalapenos, a hash brown, a packet of that honey stuff they use for the chicken…”

[CONTEMPLATES HER LIFE CHOICES], Y— uh huh…”

“One ✨ Rui Spe—…”

“WAIT, HOLD ON!”

“Yo?”

“What about the virtual singers?”

“Oh.”

“Oh god, we are fucked.

“Make the ✨ Rui Specials ✨ be… [COUNTING ON HIS FINGERS] Thirty five, yeah? That includes the originals and the variants in each of our SEKAI.”

“Wait, how are we even getting the ✨ Rui Specials ✨ into the SEKAI?”

“Trust me, I know how.”

“E— eh, okay.”

“Wait, can we add another five Happy Meals to the original five for like… [EXCITEDLY] TEN happy meals! WohohohoHo!”

“Yes, Emu.”

“We 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓬𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝔂𝓼, Tsukasa!”

“Of course!”

“Which set are you even attempting to get, Emu?”

“Dunno! I do it like gambling and lootboxes, Rui!”

“O— oh okay. We— well, miss — you did get all of that, mk?”

“Y— yeah.”

“Oh, and one more thing! Let me also order a Big Mac, like another — but add special condiments into the mix, such as wasabi and Takoyaki, and also water, some fries along the bag on the side of the Big Mac, drizzle it with barbecue sauce and some lovely caramel, ninety nine packets of sugar, burn it, let it swim, some Coca Cola drinks of yours, Garlic Sauce, multiple ounces of ash, Nightcord's hopes and dreams, and also some delightful patties — replacing it with fish fillets, however! Oh, and add like Pepsi and Tsukasa Water, maybe even a little bit of lava too, like edible lava — one that can be digested without the person dying!”

“This meal is going to be enough to the point that Mizuki might re-consider permanently residing in the Empty SEKA—”

“Okay then, Ms. Drive Thru! That— That! Will be our order! Got all of them listed correctly, right, however?”

“Eh… Probably. It might be much more longer and pricier than expected however…”

“So this means we need to be waiting at this fine daring establishment, ah?”

“Correct. Somebody needs to get the order howeve—”

“Tsukasa.”

“Tsukasa.”

“Tsu— Tsukasa.”

“Tsuka— Wait! I said that as a joke, I don't want to do—!”

Thou shall suffer the consequences.

“What the fuck did I do, Rui?”

“Your existence is a sin upon Earth.”

“Rui, what the hell?!”

“Sorry, those are the rules of Planet Earth.”

“What's Earth?”

“That's a story for another time, Emu.”

“There's a whole ass traffic jam behind us now, everyone. Rui, can you please take the wheel again and move us over to the parking lot?”

“The world will know the ✨ Rui Special ✨ one way or another!”

“Please just move, Rui.”

“Emu can see the entire highway around us being an entire traffic jam right now because of us ordering for too long!”

“Oh my god, what have we done.”

“Shit happens you know, Nene?”

“Well, time to bail out! What's the cost for our total meal by the way, just checking!”

“Three… 300,000 yen.”

“That's going to bankrupt our unit, and our life savings at the same time to the point that if we need to borrow money we'll bankrupt all of the other groups in the process too! We'll take it!”

“Wai— wha?!”

“Yay!”

“Marvelous!”

“Magnificent Work!”

“Beautiful, honestly!”

“And now it's time for the curtains to close for the next 30 minutes! Wonderlands X Showtime, out!”

“I need to check on how much time I have left…”


“I can't believe we just spent everything on… burgers.”

“Wait, we did?

“Yeah.”

“Chill out, Nene! We'll just borrow money from the other groups to make them bankrupt too! That way, everyone suffers!”

“At least the burgers would give everyone that one form of indelicate symphony amidst the chaos for a little while before they realized there all screwed!”

“That's us too, Rui.”

“Correct!”

“…”

“Have you sent the cool stuff over on to the group chat, Rui?”

“Certainly me fine spiffi— Certainly, Tsukasa!”

“What'd they say? Did they like our order?”

“Eh, seems to be mixed. Yuki sent multiple emojis of disgust, Ichika has been typing for like… 15 minutes, Honami—”

“Who's Yuki?”

“Mafuyu.”

“Oh, okay!”

“Honami sent a worried emoji, Saki suggested that we are insane… ehh…”

“Should we… really just do this anymore? Our budget has been annihilated, we are bankrupt after this, and we might be screwed.”

“Pheonix Wonderland being sold off, here we co—!”

“No.”

“🙁”

“Eh, we'll probably bounce back from it, well what's the worst that could happen?”

“How are you supposed to convince everyone to eat like sixty burgers?”

“We'll use this neat little thing called 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓬𝓲𝓷𝓰, Nene!”

“Wait wh—”

“Do you all think that our order might be done by now?”

“I dunno, let Tsukasa check!”

“Go end yourself, Ru—”

“Nuh uh.”

“What do you mean by 'Nuh uh'?!”

“Get the order already, Tsukasa, oh my fucking gOoOOoOoodD.”

“Affirmative! Tonight, Wonderlands X Showtime along side the rest shall dine like kings, queens, and/or monarchs!”

“Oih!!!”

“Yeah!!”

“I can't believe this is how my existence ends.”


“Hm.”

“Hey, Miku?”

“Yeah, what's up, Rin? [LOOKS OVER TO RIN]

“I have… I have a question.”

“Oh! Sure, what's the matter?”

“A part of me… Is worried at that nobody, well I mean — the more nearer people near us haven't been in their SEKAI for quite a while.”

“Hm? Who, exactly?”

“The people over at Wonderlands SEKAI, the Empty SEKAI, the School SEKAI, the Street SEKAI, the Stage SEKAI — they've seemed to no longer visit it for days on end.”

“Oh! [PLAYFULLY] That's because all of them were done making music, of course!”

“Wai— Wait, wha—?!”

“Kidding! Kidding! Don't worry, they didn't quit… From the looks of it.

“So— so what happened, actually, Miku?”

“Remember that time Wonderlands X Showtime gave all of us burgers?”

“Oh, I remember that well, what of it?”

“So… those burgers…”

“Are you suggesting that they were kind of… well, food poisoned?”

“That was I was trying to say, yes.”

“Huh. Wait, it was that bad?”

“Yeah.”

“How long before they… return back, Miku?”

“Probably within a few days, food poisoning doesn't get resolved as easily compared to us. Just tell the virtual singers in their SEKAI about it after this, Rin — just so they won't be worried.”

“Oh— okay then, Miku, thanks!”

“No problem!”