Work Text:
A little early on
There's no use left in crying
Honey, I've been fooled by love, this way before~》
Lloyd sighed, slumping into his chair as the song repeats for the fifteenth time. It's just so soft and gentle, every time he listened the lyrics reminded him of his situation.
Just a week ago, his girlf— his ex now. The two had been sitting on Lloyd's bed when he said the words.
Her laughter echoed in the room. And Lloyd couldn't help but feel his heart swell. His cheeks warmed to a degree he's grown accustomed to while being around her.
"Harumi, I love you." The laughter stopped. Lloyd felt his stomach drop when he saw the wide eyed expression on her face, the shock, and then the anger. His heart cracked, and he watched as she got off the bed and began putting her shoes. It was completely silent as she stood up.
Lloyd felt his heart squeeze, his throat burned as he spoke. "Wait- I'm sorry. Was it too early? I-i can take it back i swear I just—" Harumi looked at him, her eyes narrowed and a sneer pulled at her lips.
"Just stop. I told you... I didn't like those words." And then she slammed his bedroom door in his face.
Lloyd took a shaky breath in. His eyes stung and he brought his hands up to his face to realize that there was fat tears running down his cheeks.
He was crying.
It didn't take long for him to fall onto his knees sobbing, he cried in an ugly manner as he held his face. The tears soaked his palms, and his shoulders trembled as he cried. His heart clenched, his stomach swirled with anxiety and he hated this feeling.
Lloyd has never felt such a pain.
And he wishes for it to go away. All he wanted was someone to love him, for someone to look at him and smile the way he smiles at everyone.
《~There's no more conversation
No knocking at her door
There's no use in denying
Baby, I've been fooled by love, this way before~》
Lloyd sighs as be rubbs his eyes. The memory too fresh and painful for him, he felt empty. His insides were all mixed together and he dreaded seeing her white hair and beautiful red makeup.
The bell rang and the last few people walked into the class. Her white hair was obvious, and she glanced at him before looking away. Lloyd felt the familiar pit of pain swallow at him as he glanced to his left, the empty seat a taunt to his loneliness.
Lloyd was alone.
What was the point—
His phone rung. He winced and quickly opened it to find messages from his friend group. They were asking to meet up during their break period, Lloyd saw the message with their meeting place and he breathed in. The song repeating once more, the words echoing in his head as he pulled at the words and strung together a long long thought.
The lesson was gone, and his mind wandered. The song background noise as his brain worked too fast. His previous thought had been left unfinished, and yet he knew deep down what he had meant.
Since when was Lloyd so depressed.
《~Why am I still crying?
There's no useleftincrying
But I'm still out here crying
When I've been fooled by love before~》
He woke up with his heart hammering against his chest, he covered his mouth as a broken sob slipped past his lips. The dream was fresh, and he couldn't move on from the happy ending his dream version had gotten out of his confession to his ex.
Of course he should've known to think before speaking, but the words had felt so natural to him he didn't even notice.
The words were natural because he's been the one saying them his entire life, not once has he ever truly heard them uttered to him the same way he does to others.
Was it bad to want to be treated and loved the way he loves...?
Lloyd curled up, as tears ran down his face and into his pillow. He wasn't going to be able to sleep anymore, so he might as well avoid the thoughts from straying into the dark ones he's grown to notice lately.
《~No more early mornings
Waking up alone
And though it feels like dying
Honey, I've been fooled by love, this way before~》
Lloyd blinks. He's been staring at the same wall for hours, and he's barely realized that the sun was up. Light dripped into his room, and then he was aware of the fact that he was late.
Was mom not home?
What day even was it?
His phone buzzed on the drawer beside his bed. His eyes slowly moved onto the green cased phone, blinking slowly as he reached over and grabbed his phone. It was running low on battery, but he didn't care as he unlocked it and read the messages.
Kai asking where he was, from two days ago.
Nya asking if he was alright, just a few hours ago.
Jay asking if he was up for some ice cream, a day ago.
Cole checking up on him, a few minutes ago.
Zane, wondering if he wanted the homework he's missed for two days.
How long has he been staring at the wall? He can't remember when he even got his phone in his hand. The screen was off, but as he turned it on the time reading eleven in the morning.
Lloyd dropped his phone and turned over, pulling the blanket over his head and ignoring his burning eyes and tight throat.
《~I told her that I loved her
But what's it even for?
What's the use in crying?
Baby, I've been fooled by love, this way before~》
Lloyd yawned as he spat out the toothpaste foam, he washed out his mouth and fixed his hair in the mirror. Its starting to touch his shoulders, he should ask Zane to cut it. The guys got a real steady hand and some decent hair cutting skills.
"Lloyd, dude hurry up, I am not being late again!" Lloyd rolled his eyes but smiled at his reflection. He grabbed his bag from the floor outside the bathroom and he hung it over his shoulder.
Kai stood at the front door, hair gelled up into its hilarious style.
"Oh shut up, like you actually want to go to your classes." Kai grinned and shrugged, opening the door and walking out of the apartment. Lloyd closed the door behind him, walking beside Kai as the two left the apartment building and made their way to their school. "Right, don't forget I'm only here because if you missed another day you'd be getting in trouble." Lloyd rolled his eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he huffed. "Please, like you care for my attendance."
Kai rolled his eyes and shoved Lloyd, earning himself a shove back that barely moved him.
Kai wasn't just the boys friend, but his brother at this point. Nya and Kai had taken their role of adopting an underclassmen seriously and now the two cared for Lloyd as if he were a third member of their family. Of course, Lloyd doesn't know, he couldn't know.
"Just shush up, I don't want to see you skipping at all so you better be at all your classes today." Lloyd laughed and Kai grinned.
The entire group knew of Harumi and Lloyd's abrupt break up. Lloyd never spoke about it, and no one knew why the two had broken up on a random Tuesday. But none of them pressed on it, none of them had the heart to push Lloyd back into the pit Kai barely got him out of.
When Kai found Lloyd lying on his bed, rotting away in his pity and sadness. The guy has felt something clench in his chest, Nya had been their with him to help if needed.
The two had dragged Lloyd out of bed and into a warm shower, they made food, and stayed the night with Lloyd pressed between the two in a comforting hug.
They couldn't bear the thought of watching their little brother go down that dark pit again. It's as if he's just given up, entirely.
《~Why am I still crying?
There's no use left in crying
But I'm still out here crying
When I've been fooled by love before~》
The reflection in the mirror was foreign. It was summer, and Lloyd hasn't left his apartment in days. He was running low on food so he began buying take out. His mom was still gone, meaning he was still alone.
His friends kept making plans to hang out, and every time he got asked to go he said he was busy with work.
Lloyd didnt even have a job, he was lying to the last people who liked him.
(They don't. Stop. Stop thinking.)
Lloyd groaned out loud as he splashes his face with cold water.
When was the last time he ate again?
His phone buzzed on the couch, he ignored it as it continued to buzz. He felt distant, he couldn't feel the cold of the sink as he leaned down and put his head under the running water. His hair matted with the water that seeped into it.
There was something he had meant to do inside the bathroom, but he can't remember. His thoughts are everywhere, and the thought of trying to remember had him sighing as he let his eyes close and the water run.
His dripping hair covered his shoulders with wet spots as he sat on the couch staring at the black screen of the TV.
When did he sit down?
His phone buzzed again. His eyes trailed over to it and he picked it up, someone was calling him.
"Hello?"
"Dude, where are you! You said you'd be here this time,"
Lloyd blinked. The days felt like a blur. All he can remember is what he had to eat... over a day ago honestly.
"Oh. I forgot. Sorry."
"Kid, we're heading over, all of us are coming so you better tidy up that room of yours!"
"Yeah, we even got some food!"
The thought of food made his stomach growled and he winced at the pain.
"Okay."
The call ended and he stared even after the screen turned off on its own.
A hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked his head to look up at Kai. His brown eyes narrowed in a concern Lloyd has only ever shown, and has never been given back.
"Hey, I see you washed your hair, and made a mess of your shirt." Lloyd blinked, his muscles felt heavy, his limbs felt too light.
"We got some Chinese take out, and some good old pizza!" Jay placed pizza boxes o to the table as Cold placed the bags of Chinese alongside the pizza.
With one glance, Lloyd could see all his friends were here. Even Skylor and Pixal had joined.
Lloyd blinked, dulling eyes brightened as the corner of his lip twitched.
"Let's eat, we can even get a movie on the TV!" And that's what happened. Everyone grabbed what they wanted, Lloyd was squished beside Nya and Kai and he sat back with a half eaten slice of pizza in his hand.
He felt warm. A gentle warm he enjoyed, it felt like a warm blanket covering him in the cold of a blazing blizzard.
"Don't worry man, we've got you." Kai whispered as he pulled Lloyd into a side hug. "Won't be getting rid of us anytime soon either." Nya said with a smile as she leaned into Lloyd offering her own form of comfort.
That how Lloyd learned that breaking a heart can be mended back with more than one pair of hands. And before he realized, his food was on the table and arms wrapped all around him as a huge pile of hugs crushed him.
And before he knew it, the familiar feeling of tears spilling down his face was there. But it didn't sting, it didn't burn him. He felt oddly at peace with himself, his pit of a heart filling up with the warmth behind his eyes and the burning of his cheeks as he smiled and laughed through a sob.
Since when did love become so warm?